- Osferth (The Last Kingdom)

𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Osferth (The Last Kingdom)

honestly, got this idea from that one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air that absolutely broke me and made me revisit my abandonment issues. so yeah, this is gonna be sad. i apologize in advance🤷🏻‍♀️(p.s. don't read this while listening to hurt by Christina Aguilera or because of you by Kelly Clarkson)

Warnings: spoilers for TLK (obvi, and for Death Of Kings), angst, hurt/comfort, daddy & abandonment issues (like same, i kin osferth honestly), Alfred was a great king but a shitty father (in the show at least), kinda bittersweet

word count | 2.3k🤙🏻

You all stood in king Aethelred’s throne room, watching King Alfred and your leader Uhtred discuss battle plans. It all sounded very important but all you could watch was how Osferth’s lips turned into a frown as his father embraced his daughter, Aethelflaed. He looked like a kicked puppy and all you could do was glare at the King with disdain.

You hadn’t been in this team of Lord Uhtred for very long, but long enough to know that you cared deeply for each one of your companions and would give your life for any one of them, but especially Osferth. You were there when he first introduced himself, so shy and soft spoken, wanting to be like his uncle. So to see him so sullen made you want to drive your blade into the King’s skull.

You never understood why being a bastard was bad, but everyone said it like it was one of the worst things you could be, especially if you were a bastard of a king. Osferth was always introduced as a bastard first, never as a warrior or one of Uhtred’s men, always just King Alfred’s bastard. It didn’t sit right with you, and it clearly made him uncomfortable. You tried to never think of him as Alfred’s bastard, just your friend. Osferth was the sweetest person in the world, so how on earth would anyone ever give him away? You saw how it affected him, even if he didn’t show it. You saw how he looked at Edward and Aethelflaed, that envy and longing. He just wanted to be loved and accepted, and Alfred took that from him. You had no respect for the king.

Osferth couldn’t even be in the presence of Edward, his half brother, having to quietly excuse himself. You couldn’t let him go on his own. Ever since you met the boy, you’ve had an overwhelming urge to keep him safe, always anxious whenever he was out of sight. You felt bad for still wanting to protect him, knowing he’s proven himself time and time again that he can defend himself. It was hard to not to think back to the time when he cried when he killed his first man. War makes you desensitized, whether that was a good thing or not.

“Are you okay?” You asked softly once you caught up with him.

“Mhm.” He hummed, his eyes not meeting yours.

You frowned. “You don’t have to lie to me, Osferth. I thought we were closer than that.”

“It’s not that.” He sighed, resting his hands inside his leather chest armor, a cute quirk he got into the habit of doing. “I just don't want to waste my breath on him…”

“It’s okay to have feelings about it, you know? You don’t have to keep it all bottled inside, not around me.”

Osferth did continue to keep his feelings bottled up since that day, and it made you upset that he was just suffering in silence. Your worrying became even worse after the battle where you all fought against Haesten’s army, your baby monk getting harmed in the process. Thankfully, the damage wasn’t too bad but he’d be out of fighting for a while so he could heal. You made no qualms when you were tasked with taking care of him at his half sister’s estate, you tried to do that all the time anyway. You still wanted him to open up to you, but you didn’t want to push him. You weren’t a bastard but you understood what it was like to not have a parent want you, you knew what complicated and conflicting feelings came along with it. He didn’t have to be alone in his struggle.

Osferth made no mention of the conversation you had with him that day, only thanking you and expressing apologies whenever you helped him around his injuries (although he made a habit of calling Finan a slave). You tried not to speak of it, not wanting to upset him, especially when he was healing from his physical wounds. You could see how exhausted he was, how his once bright blue eyes dimmed with pain. He was more irritable, uncharacteristically so, to the point even Finan was tired of taking care of him. You could see he was hurting, but you didn’t know how or when to bring it up.

It seemed all those suppressed emotions came to a head one day, a loud crash being heard throughout the building, coming from Osferth’s room. You took off in that direction, seeing a disheveled Finan right outside the boy’s door. “What the hell is going on?” You asked.

“I made a joke, just teasing, then the lad went off like an absolute nutter.” Finan huffed, “I was trying to give him some water but he threw it back at me and it broke.” You made a move to walk into the room, but he put his arm out to stop you. “I wouldn’t. I’d just let him be for now, until he calms down at least.”

“Come on, it’s not like he’s going to hurt me, Finan.” You pushed his arm out of the way and promptly entered the bedroom.

You almost expected the room to be in ruins, but all that looked out of place was the shattered pottery that once held water scattered on the floor. And Osferth, sitting with his back turned to the door on his bed, his head hanging low. “Sorry Finan, I didn’t mean to get so upset…” Osferth whispered softly, turning his head to only see you and not the Irishman. “Oh, uh, didn’t know it was you.”

You smiled weakly, coming to sit next to him. “It’s okay, but are you?”

Osferth shrugged, a slight blush coming to his face at your close proximity. “He just made a joke about me being…ya know. He does it all the time so I don’t know why I got so mad. He’s not angry with me, is he?”

You shook your head. “No. He seemed like he kind of felt bad, this time, at least…Ever since that day at Aethelred’s estate, you’ve not been yourself. I know you haven’t been showing it, but I can feel that you’re upset. I think talking to someone might help, it doesn’t have to be me obviously, but someone. Maybe Sihtric? Since he’s-” You were interrupted by the sounds of soft sniffles and whimpers, your brows immediately furrowing in concern as soon as you saw Osferth’s pained expression. “Osferth?” You whispered softly, cautiously reaching out to hold his hand, afraid to scare him away.

“I hate feeling this way.” He sniffled, using his other hand to angrily wipe away a couple fallen tears. “Alfred never even tried to talk to me, never. As soon as I was born, he forced me into the monastery. I’ve never known anything else, so why do I feel this way? How can I miss something I’ve never had? Even now, I’m nothing to him. I’ve never been anything but a burden to him…”

“You are anything but a burden, Osferth.” You spoke sternly, anger welling up inside you at Alfred for making your best friend feel that way.

“But I am! I’m an embarrassment. That’s the only reason Lord Uhtred even let me join him in the first place. All to embarrass the…king.” He spat.

“Osferth…”

“Why doesn’t he want me?” Osferth cried, his tears falling off his cheeks onto your hands that held his on his lap. The pain in his voice even made you tear up, and all you wanted to do was wrap him up in your arms and never let him go. I want you, I want you more than anything in the world, you wanted to say. But all you did was squeeze his hand tighter and pulled him onto your chest, holding the back of his head and running your fingers through his hair soothingly.

“You are not a burden.” You whispered into his hair, pulling him to you as close as humanly possible. “Not to me, not to Uhtred, not to anyone. Anyone who even thinks that will meet the end of my blade. Alfred is a fool to not see your worth and if I could, I’d cut off his head without remorse.”

Osferth quickly shushed you, bringing his hand up to cup your jaw hesitantly. “Such talk is treason.”

“You’re worth it, Osferth.” You spoke with such sincerity it made the pale boy blush, his tears cascading down over his pink cheeks made such a beautifully sad portrait, his eyes a stark blue from crying. You couldn’t help but lean forward and gently kiss the wrinkle in between his eyebrows. “You’ll always be worth it to me.” You took a deep breath, your heart hammering inside your ribcage. “Unlike Alfred…I’ll never abandon you, baby monk. Even in death, you wouldn’t be rid of me.”

Osferth chuckled tearfully, looking up at you in awe. “You’re an angel, you know that?”

Now it was your turn to blush, but you gently shook your head. “I do not.”

“You are. It’s because of you I know God exists. How could He not when such a woman as you is sitting before me?” Your breath catches, a fluttering feeling rattling around in your stomach as you and Osferth look into each other’s eyes. “Can I…can I kiss you, my lady?” He stuttered, a hopeful expression on his face.

“Please…” You whispered in reply, both of you leaning forward and capturing his lips with yours.

And you decided to stay with him that night, refusing to leave his side even when he said he was feeling better. You held him in your arms, allowing his head to rest against your chest, the sound of your soothing heartbeat lulling him to sleep.

Eventually when the death of King Alfred was announced, it didn’t shock anyone; he was frail and sickly and should have died a long time ago, but that didn’t make it hurt any less for anyone. He was called great for a reason, he was loved and respected by many, even his enemies. His family were devastated, his friends, his allies, even those like Uhtred who were reluctant in following him at first. Except you, you had difficulty finding any sympathy in your heart for really one reason only: Osferth.

You had no respect or shroud of kindness for the king in life, so why would you in death? All you cared about was Osferth and how he felt.

You thought back to all the times you’d walk in on Osferth crying, always quick to wipe away his tears like he never was crying in the first place. He was so quick in concealing his emotions that anyone else never would’ve noticed, but you always did. After being with Alfred in the throne room, when he looked so relieved that his daughter was safe, Osferth would excuse himself. Whenever Uhtred had discussions with Edward or Aethelflaed, he would do the exact same thing. You knew he had to be feeling something towards his father’s death, whether he would admit it or not. You just wanted to be there for him if he needed you.

Like any king’s death, the aftermath was chaos. You all had to worry for Uhtred for a while there, but everything turned out alright in the end. People were celebrating the new King Edward’s coronation, drinking and humping the night away, but Osferth was nowhere to be found. You had asked your boys if they had seen him anywhere, but no one knew and all Finan did was joke that he might be finally losing his virginity. Not that helpful.

You finally found him sitting against one of the walls of the town, drinking a pint of ale. His lips instinctively upturned in a brief smile when he saw you walking his way, though his eyes looked weary. “What are you doing all the way out here, huh?” You asked softly, crouching down to sit next to him, causally taking a sip from his mug.

Osferth shrugged. “Just thinking.”

“Oh, yeah? About what?” You reached over and interlaced your fingers with his, smiling when he brought your hand up to kiss your knuckles.

“Before Alfred died…I visited him.” He exhaled shakily, and you couldn’t help but gasp.

“What did he say?” You asked curiously, but also dreading the answer just in case.

Osferth smiled sadly, tears already welling up in his eyes. “He apologized to me, that it was his fault for me being the way that I am…said he’d put in a good word for me when he got to heaven.” He chuckled weakly, wiping away some of his fallen tears. “He said I was a good man…that he was proud of me, called me his son.”

You teared up at his confession, squeezing his hand tighter. “And…did that make you feel better? Was it closure?”

Osferth’s bottom lip trembled, nodding his head, turning to look at you with a tearful crooked smile. “It was…but I didn’t need to hear it from him to know I’m a good man. I am. You showed me that better than he ever could.”

You smiled bashfully. “Oh, Osferth, you flatter me. But I am glad you made your peace with him, even if it came late.” You kissed his hand as well, moving closer so you could lean your shoulder against his. “Really, my love, are you okay?” You asked seriously, only to receive a sweet kiss on your cheek, causing heat to bloom in your chest in contrast to the cold temperature.

“I am sad, but I’ve lived without my father my entire life. I’ll be okay, especially when you’re right here with me. It’s only you who I need by my side. It’s you I wouldn’t be able to live without.”

“Good, because I don’t plan on leaving you any time soon, my baby monk."

literally wish he and alfred had more screen time TOGETHER, and curse the writers for not including their talk before alfred died. seriously.

that osferth fic was SO GOOD!!! whew. do u take requests by chance?

Thanks so much!!💕 And I do, but i'm trying to focus on college and my own stuff at the moment and write requests whenever I'm in the mood. I said my request box is closed but that hasn't stopped anyone from asking anyway lmao

𝐌𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - Ettore

ah...um...i have no excuse for this one, just my mental illness. seriously wanted to name this Dark Matter but I already have a fic named that😭 Happy Valentine's Day💕. Please, please mind the warnings.

Summary: Being forced into deep space as part of some twisted experiment, tensions rise with a fellow inmate.

Warnings: DARK (no really, dead dove: do not eat), minor spoilers for High Life, serial killer!reader (also a bit of a psychopath), nihilism, brief mentions of witnessing CSA, graphic descriptions of murder, mentions of The Box™, Ettore being a creep obvi, mild vore if ya squint? (does it count if said voreist doesn't swallow?), sexual violence, Reader and Ettore takes every chance to beat each other up honestly, SMUT (MINORS DNI), switches between con/noncon, hatefucking (they will try to kill each other), choking (but like, actually almost to death), slapping, punching, degradation, some misogyny, blood kink, pain kink

word count | 5.1k🤙🏻

You were a dangerous killer, but you knew you didn’t belong here.

You never could’ve fathomed how brutally cold and dark being in deep space truly was. Even inside the ship, no one could ever really escape the constant chill. At first, you thought this was the obvious option, joining this experiment. It was either this, or death row. But this was death row, in its own way. No one believed they’d come out of this mission alive. But you supposed dying in a black hole was more interesting than being pumped full of poison. Less boring. Now, you would’ve preferred death row on Earth. At least that would guarantee you a painless death. Welp, too late now.

At least you weren’t completely alone, if you prefer being in the company of other dangerous and evil people rather than isolation. You’d rather have to constantly look over your shoulder than go mad with loneliness. The crew was an eccentric bunch, as you could imagine. All of them are some type of murderer, like you. Some of them had good reasons, but most of them didn’t. What was more distressing was the fact that the doctor, Dibs, frightened you the most out of them all, but it was mostly due to the fact that the witch was on a personal mission to get one of the females pregnant even though the fetus would die from radiation. Even though she was here because she killed her own children. She was the biggest hypocrite of them all, though you had no room to talk, having a bit of a god complex made you one just as much as she was.

You knew you were different from other people, even at an early age. You didn’t see the world like others did, you never could find the beauty in anything. The first blossoms of spring, the sun rising over the horizon, the miracle of life, the kindness of strangers; you didn’t see any of it. All you could focus on was the evils in the world and you found that the world was overrun with it. Children starving, needless wars, homelessness, animals being tortured and killed for entertainment; it was all there was, it was wrong. It was all wrong.

Your parents had taken you to therapy multiple times, but nothing ever seemed to work. You were diagnosed as depressed and they hopped you up on all kinds of medication, but you weren’t depressed, not really. Just because you saw the world for how it really was didn’t automatically mean you were depressed, you just refused to be ignorant of it. You didn’t see the point of being a cooperative member of society when it wouldn’t take care of you. It had nothing to offer you, so you just refused to play along. The first anyone noticed something was truly wrong was the first day of kindergarten. You had beaten a boy near half to death because you saw him pushing another kid around. They weren’t fighting back, so you did it for them. Your parents had to pay the brat’s hospital bills. You didn’t understand why the doctors helped save the life of a kid who’d grow up to be an even bigger bully. A waste of oxygen, you thought. You barely paid attention to the severe scolding your parents gave you about how “violence was never the answer.” Bullshit, you knew that, even your parents knew that, they just wanted to follow the so-called moral rules to be accepted. But that wasn’t you, you didn’t need social acceptance. Not by anyone, not even your own family. But there wasn’t much you could do about it at the time.

You grew into your teenage years without so much of a punch to anyone, not even to defend yourself. You were beaten up by so many of your fellow students, you could’ve gotten a punch card for every time you had to be sent to the nurse’s office. You just bottled up everything.

The first time you ever felt a semblance of love was when your little sister was born. As soon as your mother placed her in your arms at the hospital, you knew you had to protect her. You never wanted her to be like you, you didn’t want her to end up like you, ostracized and bullied. You’d lay down your life and kill for her if need be. You made that promise to yourself. So, when you walked in on your father with his hand down her pants, you had no idea how to react. Fathers weren’t supposed to touch their children that way. He had all but flung her off his lap once he saw you, claiming that they were just playing a game. But you weren’t a naive child anymore, you knew what he was doing.

Before you could think on it any further, you ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, but your father was close behind to stop you. He had wrestled you to the ground, trying to take the knife away, but you blindly thrusted the blade upwards, hearing a sickening squelch before something wet hitting your face. The world seemed to go dark for a brief moment, before coming back into view and seeing your father’s horrified face. You followed your arm to the blade in your hand, your heart leaping out of your chest. You had aimed for your father above you, but your sister must’ve followed you and tried to stop the fight. Tears filled your eyes as you saw your knife stuck in your little sister’s chin, her tiny body going limp and crumbling to the floor, your arm frozen in place allowing the blade to come free as she fell.

Your father screamed and screamed at you as he wailed with his baby girl in his arms, trying to stop the blood copiously flowing from her neck and making a red sticky puddle on the tiles. But it was too late, the life had already drained from her once bright innocent eyes. You didn’t mean to…it was an accident…but you knew your father would spin the story in his favor. So, you did what you only thought you could.

You buried your blood coated knife into your father’s back, hearing him exhale a choked breath in shock. The blade was long, so the one hit wasn’t enough. So you did it again. And again. And Again. And again. Again until he fell to the floor, unable to yell or cry as you kept stabbing. You couldn’t count how many times you dug the blade into his chest, enough until you couldn’t tell what was his shirt or his skin. You were drenched at this point. You knew you had to leave. You threw up, thick tears and painful sobs escaping your throat as you looked upon your mistakes.

You showered, rubbing your skin raw and hastily packing a bag and running from your childhood home. You didn’t want to think about the look on your mother’s face when she ultimately got home from work, calling out for her husband and two precious children whom she loved dearly. She wouldn’t know that he was a predator or that he preyed on his own daughter. She wouldn’t know why she walked onto a bloodbath in the kitchen, you nowhere to be found. She wouldn’t believe the police when they say you should be considered a suspect. You were odd and violent when you were little, yes, but you could never kill your own family. She saw your face of awe when you looked down at your newborn sister in your arms. She’d never believe you to be the culprit, until the DNA came back matching yours. You weren’t her daughter anymore. She wasn’t a wife or a mother anymore. She was nothing, much like you.

You didn’t bother to control yourself anymore. You had nothing to live for. You were nothing. You weren’t a protector, now that you had nobody to protect. But you soon realized that wasn’t necessarily true. There were other kids in similar situations, you could try to protect them. Like a light bulb when off in your head, you suddenly had a purpose once again. Like your father, you’d find and punish those who’d hurt their children. And that’s exactly what you did, until you got caught of course. But you had a good run, ridding the world of some of the filth it had to offer. You were bloodthirst, you craved to see the looks of horror on these men’s faces as they knew they would be punished for their misdeeds. If you had time, you’d torture them. But you rarely had that luxury of taking your time, but you still felt better knowing one less evil person was in the world. It was ironic that you were now on a crew full of evil people.

Monte didn’t seem all that bad, a bit temperamental. He didn’t hesitate to knock your lights out if you pissed him off, you learned that firsthand. Well, most of the inmates did that. Ettore though, was one you had trouble figuring out. He was quiet, observant, not particularly violent though like the other inmates. He was a pervert though, hypersexual. It definitely put off all of you. He used the Box every day, but that wasn’t unusual. You were instructed to never talk about why you were here, but gossip was like breathing, you couldn’t go without it. You learned he killed someone in a particularly violent way when he was a teenager, much like you. He was a minor but was charged as an adult, got the same ultimatum like the rest of you; death row or deep space.

You’d honestly thought he’d try to talk to you, given that you both were around the same age and the “babies” of the crew, but he never did. But maybe that was for the better, attracting the attention of another inmate didn’t seem like the best move. For the most part, you just kept to yourself, trying not to bother anyone. But the witch doctor seemed to have it out for you, she hated you, but you knew that was because you couldn’t participate in her own experiments. You knew you never wanted to have kids, so you gave yourself an injury that made it so that you were barren. You almost died then, but you figured it was worth it since you didn’t have to be seen as just a walking womb to be played with.

Over time, you got yourself into a bit of a messy schedule. Not having a schedule was just something else that would make you go crazy. There wasn’t much to do in this space prison, but there was a rec room with games and books. You had exhausted all those resources pretty quickly. A rubik’s cube you were fond of was what you chose to be part of your schedule. Every day cycle, you’d try to solve that cube before going to sleep. It was one of the only things that helped you relax, besides the Box. But similarly to Monte, you didn’t really indulge all that often. The Box, even when you needed it, almost always left you numb. You weren’t one for human touch, but you weren’t immune to craving that intimacy. So the rubik's cube it was. You hogged it constantly, but that only got you a broken nose from Boyse due to it being one of her favorites too. But it didn’t matter. You claimed it for yourself, and nobody else cared enough to fight you on it.

Months into the mission, you started to notice Ettore around you more often. Most of the time, he’d just…stare at you. Openly. You’d never gotten attention from him before, so this sudden display startled you, but not enough to do something about it. It was only until he started to purposely bump into you in the halls did you start to worry. He was already a creep, but he only got creepier as he started to catch your gaze just to smile at you. Smiling didn’t suit his character, no matter how pretty it was. His lips were one of the first things you noticed when you met him, how soft and plump they looked. But a smile on them just looked out of place for the likes of a murderer. You certainly never smiled, you never had anything to smile about. You knew you’d get some odd looks if you were to suddenly flash your teeth.

You were just so on edge one day, the rubik’s cube wasn’t helping, so you went down to the Box. It was just a quick and easy session, just to relieve some tension. And it worked, until you ran into Ettore as you came out of the machine. You watched his already dark eyes darken even more as he saw the state of you. Sweaty, breathless, disarray. He looked like a wolf ready to pounce on you, but it was only the rules that held him back. No inmate was allowed to have sex with each other, hence the reason for the Box.

Ettore hummed as he placed a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his touch linger until you pushed him away roughly, but it only made him smirk and push you up against the cold wall of the Box. You glared as you felt his hard on pressing against your thigh, his hands keeping you firmly in place. “I bet your pussy would feel so good around my cock.” He almost moaned at the thought, biting his bottom lip. “If it weren’t for that cockblocking witch, I’d have you on every surface of this fuckin’ ship.”

You hated how your recently stimulated clit throbbed at his words, your body betraying you for the most primitive urges. Much like how good it felt to take a life, you knew it would feel good to fuck your fellow inmate. You wanted to tell yourself that he was a perverted murderer, you should not want to fuck him. But you were no better than him, no better than anyone here. But you pushed him off anyway, punching him in the gut and casually walking back to the ladder. “Enjoy the Box.” You spoke before climbing up, leaving the young man aching and angry.

You tried avoiding Ettore after that encounter, but of course that’s hard to do when you’re on a small ship with nowhere else to go. He didn’t hide the glares directed at you and he always seemed like he was about to do something, but never did. He was unpredictable, and you hated that. Everything about this mission was unpredictable, but you did have some control over what happened to you, Ettore was just another variable that you couldn’t control. You wanted him dead, but you didn’t know how you could get your way without ending up dead yourself.

Wandering the halls with nothing to do, you found yourself on the bridge looking up at the stars. The view always freaked you out, the sight of stars moving backwards even though the ship was moving forwards. It made you nauseous and a panic attack not too far behind. But you kept looking up through the large windows anyway. At least it made you feel something. Feelings tended to be sparse in deep space. You often wondered what it would be like to be stretched and compressed by a black hole. How badly would it hurt? Would you feel anything at all? Would it last for a second or an eternity? No one knows, and no one who finds out would be able to tell since they’d be reduced to atoms. Black holes are probably where Hell is located, you figured, if the theory that you’d be in unimaginable pain for all eternity is correct. You wanted to stop thinking about it, but you couldn’t. Not until you felt a warm presence come up behind you.

You didn’t have to guess who it was, by the stiff length that was pressing against your ass, you could already tell it was Ettore. The young blonde couldn’t take a hint, could he? You didn’t move away, for some reason that was unknown to you. Even as you felt his hands traveled around your waist, holding onto your hips with a bruising grip, you didn’t push him away. He took deep inhales of the scent of your hair, his hands traveling up to grope at your breasts as you continued watching the stars. You started to think about your sister, how she might react to the stars. You remembered the first time you pointed out a constellation you knew, teaching her about various different ones, knowing she was too young to remember. But it was one of your only fond memories. You held onto it, remembering her toothless grin as she got excited about learning something new.

You gasped as Ettore’s hand brushed against your clothed core, cupping it roughly until you winced. “Why waste time looking at these stars when I can make you see much prettier ones, hm?” He hummed in your ear, licking up the side of your neck, unwanted goosebumps rising all over your body.

“No.” You scoffed, pushing him off you, but he stopped you from walking away by grabbing your wrist.

“You want to.” He smirked smugly.

“No, I really don’t.” You tried pulling away, but his grip only tightened.

“Liar.”

“Fuck off!” You yelled, wringing your arm back and swiftly connecting your balled up fist to his nose. You grinned when he stumbled back, holding his hand to his face but seeing his blood flow through his fingers. He looked back up at you with a glare before leaping at you, tackling you to the floor, one hand around your throat and the other wailing on your face with his fist. Your ears rung as his fist landed right in front on your ear and feeling your nose and mouth fill with blood as he punched you. You spit your blood back in his face when you sensed a pause in his beating, leaning your head down as much as possible to bite his forearm of the hand that was grabbing your throat. You bit hard and didn’t let go until he recoiled with a shout, cradling his arm that now had a bloody teeth indent and a small chunk of flesh missing. You could still see the outline of his cock stressing against his orange jumpsuit. You could’ve laughed, the bastard was still turned on.

“Cunt!” He growled, but all you did was spit out the skin you took from his arm. “You can’t deny me forever.”

You raised your brows unimpressively, standing up while wiping the blood off your face with your sleeve. “Watch me.”

You stormed up with an aching face yet again, but you didn’t bother to visit Dibs, you didn’t feel like being scolded for defending yourself. But you ended up getting yelled at anyway for biting Ettore the way you did, your dose of medicine only being increased as a punishment. Seeing the bloody bandage around his arm almost made it worth it though.

The next few day cycles were a blur, the drugs making you sluggish and tired all the time. You didn’t even try to hide your disdain for Ettore every time you had to be around him and it made everyone feel tense, like they were waiting for a bomb to explode. You knew you couldn’t avoid him forever, but you sure did try. It was only a week later until that bomb finally exploded.

You had gone to the rec room before bed like you’d always done to try and solve that damned rubik's cube. You were so close, almost having solved all sides. But looking around the room, you couldn’t find it. You felt a panic attack start to bubble up in your chest, frantically searching everywhere around the room until you heard someone clear their throat.

“Lookin’ for something?” You frowned as Ettore came into view, him casually leaning against the doorframe, holding the small colorful box in his hand.

“Give it back.” You growled, your skin flushing with anger.

He only smirked, which made you ball your fists and stomp towards him. “No, I don’t think I will.” He chuckled when you tried to grab it from his hands, but he was taller than you and held it up where you couldn’t reach. You tried to repress a shiver when he ran one of his hands up your side where your shirt had ridden up, but you instantly pushed him away.

“Dick!” You seethed, the urge to punch his stupid face getting stronger and stronger.

He smiled softly. “I know. But if you give me what I want, I’ll give this back.” He juggled the cube back and forth between his hands, giving you an expectant look.

You stood as close as possible to him without touching, getting right in his face, not missing the way his eyes trailed down to your lips. “You can go fuck yourself.”

Ettore surged forward, roughly pressing his lips against yours with a growl, the sound going straight to your core; but you wouldn’t tolerate his behavior. You pulled yourself away and threw your fist against his face, then wound up to hit him again but he caught it this time. He grabbed your wrist tightly and pulled you to his chest, disregarding the rubik’s cube. “I’m getting fuckin’ sick of you hitting me.”

“Then stop acting like someone who deserves to be hit.” He cut you off by slapping you, grabbing onto your neck before kissing you again. You bit his bottom lip, hearing him let out a pained groan as your teeth cut into his sensitive flesh. “Let me go, or I’ll scream.” You demanded.

Ettore grinned evilly. “Go ahead. Scream. It’ll make it better for me.” You struggled as hard as you could against his hold on you, dragging your feet as he pulled you further into the room after shutting the door.

“I’ll fucking gut you, you piece of shit!” You yelled, clawing and kicking until he kneed you in the stomach, knowing the breath out of your lungs until you were wheezing. “Fuck…you…” You coughed, crumpling to the floor.

Ettore kneeled with you, powerless to stop him from removing your shirt, exposing your breasts to the cool air. You winced as he groped them roughly, forcing you on your back with one hand while the other ripped your pants and underwear off. Unwanted tears sprang to your eyes as you fought, just recovered enough from the blow to your stomach to scratch his face, droplets of blood pooling to the surface of his cheek. “Cunt.” He slapped you again, straddling your hips as he removed his own shirt but only unbuttoning his trousers.

“You disgust me.” You spat, glaring up at him.

You let out a yelp as Ettore shoved two of his long fingers inside you with no warning, his smirk making you feel more uncomfortable than the digits stretching your walls. “Really? Why is your pussy so wet then, eh?”

“Knowing that I hurt you gives me more satisfaction than that fuckin’ Box.” You hissed as he pinched your clit with a sadistic chuckle. He forced your legs apart, kneeling in between that as he took his hardened cock out of his pants, lining himself up with your entrance but with a great struggle since you didn’t stop wiggling around. Your head jerked to the side as he punched you a couple times, making you unresisting enough that he could fully sheathe himself inside of you. You let out a cry as he hit the ends of you, your walls clamping down on him, trying to expel the intrusion.

“Fuck!” Ettore groaned. “So much better than that Box. So warm. So tight.” He stuttered, moving his hips back and forth without giving you time to accommodate. The stretch burned and you couldn’t keep in your painful whimpers. Your cries only seemed to spur him on further, thrusting his hips at a faster pace, way too fast so early.

“Stop!” You cried, beating your fists against his chest erratically.

“Nah. You’re gonna take it. You’re gonna take it until I say we’re done.” He laughed, speeding up his thrusts to purposely make it even more painful for you. But instead of it hurting more, it had the opposite effect. His cock started to brush up against that sensitive spot inside you, eliciting a whine from your lips.

“You’re gonna fuckin’ die!” You growled angrily, baring your teeth like a cornered animal.

“Yeah?” He mocked, giving your cheek another slap just for good measure before continuing his brutal pace.

Eventually, your cunt produced so much slick, it was soaking his cock and your inner thighs, his pelvis shimmering in the dull fluorescent lighting of the ship. Lewd noises coming from your intimate union forced heat to spread across your cheeks, the wet suction echoing off the walls with every jolt of Ettore’s hips made an unwanted pang of pleasure shoot through your body, making goosebumps rise along your skin.

You hated that you were feeling pleasure from this. You were so ashamed, but god, it felt so much better than the pain of his cock splitting you open over and over again.

You felt so hot, a thin layer of sweat covering your entire body. Ettore on top of you made it even worse, his sweat coated body pressing up against yours, your breasts being squished under the weight of his chest. You were breathless as his dick kept brushing against your g-spot as he kept moving in and out of you rapidly, feeling your slick dripping off the curve of your ass and pooling onto a puddle on the cold floor. You couldn’t keep your moans in and against your hatred for the man, you allowed your body to relax and indulge in the euphoric sensations. Ettore’s smug smirk made it difficult however.

You looked to your right, seeing the discarded rubik’s cube sitting idly on the floor next to you. You didn’t hesitate to grab onto it tightly, hitting Ettore over the head with it again and again until he was weak enough to push him off of you. But instead of running like you should’ve done, you straddled him, pushing his cock back inside you and riding him, chasing that release that had already begun building in your core.

Ettore groaned with a smirk, looking up at you in a pleasured haze (and possible concussion). “I knew you wanted to fuck me.” You replied by punching him square in the jaw, busting his lip open deep enough that a small trail of blood slid down the side of his face. You shocked him by leaning down and licking the red substance, the metallic bitter taste coating your tongue and making you move your hips faster. His furrowed brows from the pleasure and pain spurred you on further, raking your nails down his chest hard enough until little droplets of blood beaded on his pale skin, his groan filling your ears and making your clit throb.

You placed both your hands around Ettore’s neck as you continued to thrust against him, squeezing harder and harder the closer you got to your climax. You smiled with a loud moan as you heard his choked gasps, his face getting red as he attempted and failed to breathe in the recycled oxygen. The sight of him struggling to breathe edged you closer and closer. But eventually, he started to fight against you, grabbing onto your hands to try and pry you off. You tried to dig your fingers tighter against his skin, determined to make him pass out at least, but he knocked you off him with a single strong punch to your cheek. “You can’t kill me that easily.” Ettore coughed out hoarsely, his near death experience not even being enough to take a break from fucking you. He took a deep breath and resumed plowing into you like you didn’t just almost kill him. “God, you’re so pretty beaten and bloody like this.” He moaned, grabbing onto your neck and squeezing like you had down previously, though not enough that’d you pass out. The lack of oxygen made the pleasure all the more intense, your walls clamping down on his cock as your release was right there. “Such a fuckin’ whore, aren’t you? I bet you’ve wanted this all along. You just needed to be put in your place, right? Don’t worry, I’ll never let you forget where you belong, what you’re good for. You’re just a pretty little toy whose only purpose is to be fucked and filled.”

You moaned as his words finally made that wave of ecstasy wash over you like a tsunami, powerful and unforgiving as it destroyed you, making your mind go blank as the only thing you could feel was that throbbing pleasure that knocked the breath out of you. Ettore groaned as your walls seemed to pull him in deeper, pulsing rhythmically as you rode out your high with shuddering high pitched moans and trembling limbs. It didn’t take long at all for him to reach his climax as well, pumping you full of his cum with a load strained groan, sweat dripping down the side of his face and mixing with his blood as he slumped against you to try and catch his breath.

You came out of your daze enough to feel him against you, hearing and feeling his deep breaths fan against your skin, making you panic and quickly push him off you; there was nothing he could do about it since he was so weak from his orgasm. You sat up with a huff, dressing yourself frantically, refusing to look at Ettore.

“I bet you’ve never come that hard before.” He voiced arrogantly, making you roll your eyes.

“I have.”

“Liar.”

You turned back around to glare at him. “If you try this shit again, I’ll kill you. That’s a promise.”

Ettore, still naked, stood up and pulled you to him by your waist with a smirk. “Forgive me if I doubt that. You sure seemed to enjoy yourself, slut. I wouldn't be surprised if you came crawling back for more soon.”

You scowled, unable to voice any retort like you usually did. You blamed your post orgasm haze. Ettore only hummed, dressing himself and walking past you, bumping your shoulder. You bit your lip hard until you tasted blood, hating yourself and him.

“Well, whenever you feel like you wanna be filled with a real cock again, you know where to find me.”

don't know where this came from honestly😬

𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - Aegon II Targaryen

don't judge me, i've been falling in lust with tom glynn-carney. i blame him and his stupid handsome face.

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI), incest, sub!Aegon, praise kink, oral (m and f!receiving), orgasm denial (if you squint), dacryphilia, mentions of abuse

word count | 2.6k🤙🏻

It was the middle of the night when you heard frantic knocking at your door.

You were restless and hadn’t been sleeping anyway, but it immediately concerned you at who would be up at such a late hour. But you relaxed when you opened your door to see your brother, Aegon. 

Of course it was him, who else would it be? You should’ve known, he has on more than several occasions snuck to your bedroom to seek comfort in your bed, ever since he was a young boy. It looked like tonight was no different. His eyes were red and watery, thick tears streaming down his face. He pleaded to you silently, and you instantly knew what he needed.

You quickly ushered him inside your chambers, sitting him on the edge of your bed, taking his hands and bringing them up to your lips to kiss them softly. “Again?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Aegon let his tears fall freely, unashamed in your company, sighing in slight relief as you cupped his face, your soft skin on his encouraging him to look at you. “It’s becoming her favorite pastime.”

Your mother hasn’t always been the gentlest person, having to grow up quicker than most children, being forced to marry and bed a man over twice her age. It hardened her, made her rough around the edges that often showed itself to her own children. She was never the most patient or compassionate mother, with her eldest least of all. Aegon would often take the brunt of her verbal lashings, even taking her physical punishments. Your brother would often come to your chambers with a bruise or red markings on his face, not able to stand being alone knowing you had the tender caring presence that your mother never had. It seemed like all of Alicent’s better motherly qualities got transferred over to you, being the youngest of her children, the one who was always babied whether you liked it or not.

You never understood your siblings' hesitance to be around your mother when you were younger, you and Aemond would often be the two who’d spent the most time with her, you absolutely adored her. You didn’t understand until you stepped out of line one day. Up until that point, you were always the most well behaved, always did as you were told. You just wanted to have fun, for once. Aegon had taken you out to the streets of King’s Landing to show you the culture, but you got caught and were immediately brought back to your mother. You had never witnessed such anger from your mother before. She yelled at Aegon until she went blue in the face, scolding your brother for putting you at risk, slapping him multiple times. She had even slapped you when you attempted to intervene, telling her you wanted to go with him. You and Aegon hadn’t been allowed to see each other or leave your chambers for a week after that.

Aegon was always extra careful with you after that night, caring, something he rarely showed others. He never wanted you to see that side of your mother, always having to see it himself, so the fact that it happened because of him laid guilt on his shoulders heavily. You were the only person he ever treated with such care, he was like a different person when it came to you. It confused you to see him treat others so rudely, then turn around and treat you like a queen. You had realized that he had a fondness for you when he came to your chambers the night of your eighteenth name day, finally expressing how much he adored you, feeling protective of you ever since you were born. When he was with you, he never felt like he had to drink or whore around to feel at ease. Your presence was more than enough for him. He took you to bed that night, whispering how much he loved you over and over again.

Every night since then, he had snuck into your chambers, craving your embrace more than wine. Or, if your mother had another lashing out, he’d come to you to bask in your love, love he never received from Alicent. Just like tonight. “What happened this time?” You asked Aegon, gently thumbing away some of his fallen tears.

He chuckled bitterly. “I made a joke, like I always do. It was about our cunt of a half sister.”

You clicked your tongue in disapproval. “You know I don’t like that word. And you shouldn’t call her that in front of mother either, you know she was fond of her once.”

“I can’t imagine how, they’re completely different.”

You smiled shyly, bumping your shoulder against his. “So are we.”

He finally smiled, albeit sadly. “Yes. Though, you’re not as annoying as Rhaenyra.”

“Sounds like a challenge.” You smirked, poking his face until he gave you a genuine smile.

“Alright, alright, knock it off.” He giggled, grabbing your hand and holding it to his heart. “I need you, darling. I need you to distract me, please.” He begged, sniffling and wiping away the rest of his tears, turning to face you with pleading eyes.

You shushed him softly, holding his face as you placed feather light kisses all over him, hearing him let out a quiet whimper as you finally connected your lips with his. “Don’t worry, my love. I’m going to take care of you.” Aegon suddenly became more forceful, his desperation pouring into the kiss, grabbing onto your waist with a bruising grip. You gently pushed him away, ignoring his growl. “Hold on, hold on, baby. You’re not doing that, not tonight.” He let out a sharp breath as you pushed him back roughly, straddling his waist so you could have more control.

Aegon loved to control you in bed, but more often than not, you were the one to take control over him, especially when he came to you after one of your mother’s outbursts. That’s another reason he loved you, you always seemed to know what he needed. He loved being put in his place, he loved pleasing you, having your approval. He often thought he could live his entire life underneath you. “You’re gonna be a good boy for me, right?” You whispered, running a hand down his torso until you reached the laces on his trousers, feeling his already hardening cock push against the fabric.

“Yes, my love.” He whimpered, trying his best not to buck up against your hand as you undid the laces, slowly pulling down his pants. “Please…”

“Such a needy baby already.” You hummed, running your hands up his thighs, pushing his shirt up and over his head, rendering him completely bare underneath you while you were still in your shift. “Tell me what you want, love.” You cooed, kissing up his inner thighs, causing him to squirm.

“Need your mouth on my cock. Please, darling.” He whimpered pitifully, letting out a soft moan as you licked up the underside of his cock slowly, placing a gentle kiss on the tip. As you slowly took his throbbing member into your mouth inch by inch, the moan that escaped his lips was downright sinful it would even make the most lecherous whore blush. The beautiful sound traveled all the way down your body and made your walls clench around nothing, feeling painfully empty. “Need you to fuck me.” He whined, making you come off his cock with a stern glare.

“What? You’re not happy with me sucking your cock? Not enough for you? Maybe I should just stop then.”

“No, no!” He quickly cried. “Please, it felt so good.” You smirked as you got off your knees, pulling down your nightgown and stepping out of it, crawling on top of Aegon, him watching you with desperate glazed over eyes. “You’re so beautiful, my love.”

“I know.”

“Need you so bad.” Aegon whispered as he sat up to wrap his lips around one of your hardened nipples, eliciting a soft gasp from you.

“I know, I know, darling. But you’ll have to wait.” You yanked his head back by his hair roughly, biting your lip at the pretty little yelp he made, your desire between your legs growing rapidly. “You said you’d be a good boy for me, right?” You pushed him back down against the bed, crawling up until you lining up your dripping pussy with his face, his eager expression making a pleasurable ache twist in your gut. “So be a good boy and fuck me with your tongue, Aegon.”

You let out a relieved moan as Aegon immediately kissed your clit roughly, licking up and down your folds as you held onto his hair and tried to keep yourself steady. He wrapped his arms around your thighs and forced you down on his face completely, making sure you couldn’t move away even if you wanted to. But you absolutely did not have any intention to move, not when his tongue was working you to your orgasm so perfectly. He wasn’t always the best at it, but with your instruction, he became a master at pleasuring you. He always joked that it was the only thing he could do correctly, and if only he was as good at preparing to be king as he is at giving head. “Fuck, Aegon!” You cried out, rutting your hips against his face as he lapped at your clit like a man starved, pushing himself harder and harder until you had to pull his hair just to get some reprieve from overstimulation. “How do I taste, my love?”

“So good.” He slurred. “Sweeter than King’s Landing’s finest wine. I could get drunk off you."

“I think you already have.” You giggled, gasping loudly as he dove back in, moaning like he was being pleasured and not the other way around. “You’re making me feel so good, Aegon.” You smiled as he whimpered, loving how you praised him. “Fuck, I’m so close. You gonna make me come, my love?”

“Yes.” He whispered against you, his breath sending a shiver down your spine. “I wanna make you come. Please, come for me.” He whined, sucking on your clit hard until you cried.

“Yes, yes, yes.” You moaned as you rode his face, entirely uncaring if you were suffocating him or not, all you wanted was that sweet release. Aegon simply let you rut against his tongue, your arousal dripping down his throat. Your thighs shook around his face, spasming and trying your best to hold yourself upright as your release finally washed over you, goosebumps rising all over your body and a strained cry escaping your mouth.

You shakily crawled off Aegon’s face, seeing his mouth upturned in a boyish grin with your slick coating his lips and chin. “You did so good for me, love.” You kissed his forehead, trailing your lips down his face then neck. “I think you deserve a reward, hm?” You smirked, leering at his needy expression as you straddled his waist, ever so slightly grinding yourself on his cock, making him exhale sharply.

Lining up his cock with your entrance, you and Aegon moaned loudly as you slowly sunk down on him, your walls stretching strenuously in an attempt to accommodate his size, the slight sting making you whimper. Aegon threw his head back against your pillow with a sigh as you finally were able to take the last few inches of him, sitting comfortably until you started to leisurely rock your hips against him. You were in no hurry, knowing you had hours until he had to sneak back into his own chambers. You wanted to prolong this for as long as possible; you could already tell Aegon was starting to lose his patience, trying to buck his hips against you but you quickly placed your palms firmly on his chest to keep him from moving.

“Darling, please-”

“Shh.” You cooed, leaning down to kiss his plump lips, smoothing over the hair on his hair softly. “Just relax. We don’t need to hurry tonight.”

“I wanna come so bad…” He whined, eyes glazing over with tears, gracefully trailing down the sides of his face and creating a tiny puddle on your pillows.

“You are so incredibly pretty when you cry, my darling.” You smirked, lapping up his tears with your hot tongue, pulling away when he tried to kiss you. “You remember who’s in control here, right?” You asked sweetly, but keeping a dark glare in your eyes, admiring the way his bottom lip trembled.

Aegon let out a soft sob as you rocked your hips back and forth agonizingly slow, the cute noise sending a shock wave throughout your core. You didn’t even want to give him what he wanted anymore, all so you could hear those sweet sounds. But you were getting impatient as well, your pussy throbbing and desperately craving some friction. You both let out cries as you lifted yourself up and forcefully slammed back down on his cock, his eyes closed tightly and sucking air through his teeth. “Eyes on me.” You commanded, grabbing his jaw tightly. “Keep looking at me, love.” You spoke more lovingly, caressing the side of his face as you sped up and bounced on him in fervor.

“Feels so good.” He moaned, a quiet growl escaping his throat as he held onto your hips firmly, but it wasn’t quiet enough to escape your ears. You cursed as you started to feel another orgasm bubbling up inside of you, your walls clenching around him in a vice grip as the tip of his cock kept hitting that sweet spot in you. “Fuck—I’m so close. Gods, I need it so bad.” He begged, tightening his hold on you, afraid you’d deny him. But you needed another release as much as he needed his first one.

You let out a wanton moan as you didn’t hold back as you fucked Aegon hard, the sound of your skin slapping wetly against his echoing around the apartment, a blush dusting your face as your pussy made the most lewd noises. “You’re so beautiful.” Aegon whispered, looking up at you in awe. “You’re a goddess, my goddess.”

Your eyes threatened to roll to the back of your head as your orgasm washed over you, pure euphoria that made you dig your nails into Aegon’s pale chest and your toes curling tightly, not as tightly as your pulsing walls clenched around him. It lasted longer than you expected, a thin sheen of sweat coating your body as you held onto Aegon for dear life. You let out a breathy moan as you finally finished, an exhausted smile on your face. But Aegon hadn’t come yet, you ignored the overstimulation as you continued to bounce on his cum coated cock. “Are you going to come for your goddess?” You smirked, feeling his cock twitch inside you and watching his brows furrow as he let out a silent cry.

“My love, my love…” Aegon moaned, bucking up into you as fast as he humanly could, making you curse. “I’m gonna-” You quickly lifted yourself off of him, grinding your pussy on his shaft until he came with a low groan, spilling his seed onto his belly. You planted light kisses all over his face as he breathed heavily, smiling as you heard him chuckle.

“Was that okay?” You asked, gently pushing his hair out of his face.

“Of course, my love. I always enjoy you.” You felt quite proud of yourself as you laid down beside him, resting your head on his chest, sighing contently. He kissed the top of your head, breathing you in as he pulled you as close as possible. “You know how much I love you, right?” He asked suddenly, causing you to laugh.

“You’ve told me as such, in great detail, multiple times.”

“Good, just making sure.”

really in my "i can fix him" era

𝐀 𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 - Steven Grant

this has been sitting in my drafts for months, but i finally got the motivation to finish it lmao. Happy Thanksgiving for those who celebrate! Gobble gobble bitches🦃

Warnings: mentions of The Blip, implied PTSD, a slight sprinkle of angst, and fluff. that's it, I think

word count | 4.3K🤙🏻

You never took the bus. In all your years of living in London, you had only ridden the bus a handful of times. You usually ride your bike most places, especially to work. Eco friendly, your friend called it, not that you really cared. But it just so happens, that your bike was stolen. So, your hand was forced.

You worked at a bookstore, and you liked it well enough. After being Blipped for five years, your parents decided to give you their store, they were getting old and couldn’t take care of it as much as they could before; plus, they thought it would make you happy and get your mind off being dusted out of existence for so long. And it did, to a certain extent. You were happy surrounded by books, but all the years you missed out on was still nagging at the back of your mind. Your therapist said it would get better with time. But other than the feeling that something horrific could happen at any given moment constantly plaguing your mind, you were content with life; but there was one thing still missing.

You weren’t the best at dating, never had been. Every time you thought you found “the one” or just a genuinely good person, they’d come with a serious hamartia that they were hiding, one that you usually would find out a good couple months into a relationship. But then again, you were also very picky as your parents would say, but you just had standards. You’d think living in such a big city would give you a few good options at least. But alas, you were probably doomed to live the rest of your life in solitude.

You didn’t really notice at first, often stuck in your own little world, but you finally realized that you saw the same man on your bus almost every day on your way to work. It wasn’t that big of a deal, if only he wasn’t so handsome. You never considered yourself to be much of a shallow person, knowing that personality is what really counts, but you couldn’t help yourself to gawk when this man wasn’t looking. Maybe it was his shy and disheveled demeanor that intrigued you, or maybe it was that you were being so utterly vain that his strong jawline and dark brown eyes awakened some primal force within you that drew you to him. But considering how horrid you are at making the first move, you’d never know.

Your silly little crush didn’t go away. It didn’t help that your bookstore was right across the street from the museum he worked at. You felt like a stalker, knowing where he worked and eventually learning his name when he forgot to take his name tag off one night. Steven. It suited him. You thought about visiting the museum once, but that would definitely be stalkerish behavior, but anyone was allowed into museums, right? It wouldn’t be weird if he were to visit your bookshop. Then again, if some dude were staring at you every time you got onto the bus and suddenly paid a visit, you would probably call 999. 

Yeah, you decided against it.

It wasn’t until one early morning that forced you to confront this crush. Steven entered the bus with dark circles under his eyes, more pronounced than usual. He looked like he could’ve fallen over any given moment, he looked like he hadn’t slept in ages. You tried not to tense up when he took a seat next to you, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest. You prayed you could act like a normal human being until the bus ride was over. But then, almost half way to work, he did something you never would’ve expected. He leaned his head on your shoulder.

Your eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets. It only took a couple seconds to realize that he didn’t do it on purpose, poor thing fell asleep and his head naturally lolled to the side, where your shoulder just so happened to be. You had no idea what to do. Do you wake him up? He’s just a stranger, this is weird and he definitely should not be doing this. But he looked so peaceful, and he did look like he had gotten absolutely no sleep. But would he think it would be weird if he knew you just let him sleep on you? You hoped no one else could see how panicked you looked.

You felt your face heat up as you ultimately decided to let the exhausted man remain situated against your shoulder, the bus ride was almost over anyway. You felt your nails dig into your palms, trying to focus on anything but the warm feeling that radiated throughout your body. As the bus rolled to a stop, you gently nudged the sleeping man until he sat straight up with wide eyes, clearly disoriented. He looked at you in confusion before uttering a quick apology before he made his quick escape from the awkward situation. You didn’t blame him, but you did feel a little embarrassed yourself, even though you probably had no reason to be.

You thought about that bus ride all day, your brain fogged over and distracted from your work, the bells that sounded off any time someone would enter the store being the only reality check that would snap you back from your racing mind. A part of you just wanted to buy another bike, never take the bus ever again, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to afford it, not now at least. Maybe you could just walk all the miles back to your flat…in the dark…without the proper means to protect yourself…yeah, awkward situations were more appealing than the threat of getting jumped in an alleyway.

You hoped Steven wouldn’t be on the nightly bus ride home like he usually was, only occasionally he would work late, but that just wasn’t in the works for you. How lucky. Apparently it was a busy night, people coming and going, it was a Friday to be fair. But there were no empty seats as he boarded the bus, being the last person, only one was empty, one next to you. You felt like a regular old Mary Sue. And you could tell by his expression that he was panicked, clearly not forgetting what happened that morning.

You wore a tight lipped smile as he walked towards you, the bus suddenly moving jolting him a bit forwards with a stumble, but he quickly tried to brush it off with suave. “Uh, is this seat taken?” The man asked timidly, his hand slightly shaking as he pointed to the spot next to you.

Obviously not. “No, go ahead.” You smiled, more genuinely that time, feeling that familiar heat rise up to your face as he settled next to you.

“Cheers.” He nervously smiled back, hugging his satchel close to his chest.

You couldn’t help but smirk as you noticed his eyes already started to droop shut, the man wearing exhaustion like it was second nature. It also made you a little sad. “Hope you get some sleep tonight, maybe you won’t fall asleep on me again in the morning.” You chuckled, not being able to resist teasing him slightly.

“Oh, goodness.” The man cringed at himself, turning to face you with a guilty expression. “I’m so sorry about that, miss. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay!” You cut him off with a giggle. “You don’t have to apologize, I get it. I’m not a morning person either. Sorry if me not waking you up right away was weird, I just didn’t have the heart to when you looked so tired.” If you weren’t blushing already, you most certainly were now.

“Ah, it’s not weird. I appreciate it actually. Your shoulder was very comfortable.”

“Jeez, how awful is your bed if you think this boney shoulder is anywhere close to being comfortable?” You laughed softly, a shy smile stretching across his face. “I’m Y/n, by the way. Thought you should know considering I already know yours.” You gently flicked the name tag that was still pinned to his jacket. “Nice to meet you, Steven.”

The next morning you were greeted with Steven’s smiling face, that nervousness behind it making it more endearing. You didn’t hesitate to take a seat next to him, feeling more confident now that you’ve actually had a conversation with the man. So far, he seemed sweet, shy but sweet. He definitely seemed worth your interest, you wanted to get to know him. Hopefully he felt the same.

“A gift shop-ist? I don’t think that’s a word.” You chuckled. “Why not just a salesperson?”

Steven shrugged. “Doesn’t sound that much more appealing, now, does it? Well, what do you do? Where do you work?”

“I own the bookstore right across the street from the museum. So, I guess that makes me a bookstore-ist.” You giggled at your own joke, Steven letting out a small amused snort making you feel better about it.

“Oh, a bookworm, are you?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’ve always liked reading. The store was my parents, but they passed the baton over to me. I like it.”

“Huh, I’ll have to check it out sometime.”

“And I’ll have to check out the museum. Don’t know much about Egyptian history, but maybe you’ll be my tour guide?”

“If my boss doesn’t get on my arse about it. Well, eh, it doesn't matter. I’ll be happy to take time out of my super busy schedule to teach you all about all the pharaohs and gods and anything else that won’t bore you to death.” He grinned.

“Well, with you teaching me I’m sure I’ll never get bored.” You were thankful the bus finally arrived, the somewhat intense eye contact the two of you shared was getting a bit much for you to handle. “Well, see you later!” You waved as you started to walk to your workplace, Steven replying with a cute little “laters gators.”

It didn’t take too long before you and Steven got close, well, you thought so anyway. The two of you would always sit or stand next to each other on the bus each morning and night. Sometimes, you’d even visit each other’s place of work. You learned each other’s coffee orders, so you’d sometimes surprise each other with coffee. The first time you did it, Steven wore the cutest flustered expression on his face. So far, you two were friendly. Just friendly. You knew you wanted more, you just didn’t know if he felt the same, or even how to bring it up. You’d been out of the game for so long you didn’t even think you remembered how to kiss a person. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself or get rejected, you didn’t know if you could handle that.

Talking to your sibling about it, they just told you to get over the stupid fear and just ask the man out. Of course, it was easy for them to say, they were more outgoing and fearless. For once, you wish you could’ve turned off your introvertedness and anxiety. You got good vibes from Steven, he seemed perfect. Too perfect. And your track record showed that perfect meant they were less than perfect. You were a bit of a pessimist, you hated that about yourself, but it’s probably what had saved you from one too many toxic relationships. On the surface, Steven looked like he’d never even hurt a fly. You wondered what was underneath that timid exterior. But maybe there wasn’t, only time would tell.

It was a cold dreary morning when your feelings started to spiral out of control. You seemed to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, feeling sour for no particular reason. Just one of those days, you supposed. You had trouble hiding your mood on your face, Steven seemed to notice it immediately as soon as you boarded the bus. He had asked you what was the matter, but you just brushed him off by saying the weather dampened your spirit. Later, he had brought you a hot cup of coffee on his break, saying that days like these needed some warmth, which in turn made you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. You encouraged him to look around, knowing that he enjoyed reading as well. It was hard to concentrate on working when he was walking about with an awestruck expression, gently running his fingers over the spines of the various books that lined the shelves. “Do you have any books about Egypt?” Steven called out from across the room.

“Yeah, some. On aisle 6, along with other history books.” You pointed out, smiling to yourself as Steven walked to the designated aisle with a skip in his step. He asked about a specific author, wondering if their new book was in stock, clearly anxious to read it. “No, sorry.” You frowned sympathetically after looking it up in inventory. “I can see if it’s available somewhere else?”

Steven shook his head. “That’s alright. Wouldn’t expect it to be anywhere, the author isn't very well known and there's probably not many copies out there. But thanks for looking.”

And that’s when you got the idea. You weren’t good with words, but you loved buying people gifts. When the holidays rolled around, you were an expert at gift giving, you pride yourself on it. Maybe you could express your feelings by buying him this book he wanted so much. It was a bit pricey, being scarce and all, but you could afford it and you wanted to see the smile on Steven’s face, if just for a moment. Before you could think about it any longer, you clicked the purchase button.

And oh man, was it a long anxious wait for the book to arrive. You had to order it from a different country, so obviously it was going to take a while. But you were impatient, and you counted the seconds until you heard the sweet shrill sound of your doorbell ringing, excitement bubbling up in your chest as you opened the door to find the package exactly where you expected to find it. You hoped Steven would be as happy as you were, and you didn’t even want the book for yourself.

You were disappointed when you didn’t see Steven on the bus the next morning. He probably just slept in again. You were so anxious to give the book to him, but then you didn’t see him all day, which was unusual. He usually paid you a visit at least once on his break. Then another day went by…then another. A whole week passed and you started to get worried. He wouldn’t answer your texts or calls, you even went to his work to ask for him but he hadn’t been in. You never pegged him as someone who would just up and disappear. But then again, how could you know that? You were practically just coffee buddies. Guess you got the book for nothing…

It was another week before Steven started showing up again, but you made a point not to even make eye contact with him, not even when he greeted you warmly as he sat next to you like nothing ever happened. From the corner of your eye, you could see his downcast and confused expression and you almost took pity on him. Almost. You probably should’ve seen it coming, there was always some fatal flaw about most people, your blinding crush on Steven made you forget. It was probably for the best, you only would’ve gotten hurt. Terrible timing though, you were at a point where you really needed a friend to talk to.

That constant feeling that something bad was going to happen at any given moment was proved correct. Thankfully, it wasn’t half the universe getting blipped out of existence, but it was almost just as mysterious and frightening. One night, the sky completely changed. It looked like a Van Goph painting, but instead of it making you feel a sense of peace and comfort like viewing the painting normally did, it terrified you. Seeing the sky warp out of focus, it brought on some severe panic attacks. What did this mean? What was happening and what consequences would it have on the world? It plagued your mind. But even after getting Blipped, you never really talked about it with anyone, not even your family. You just kept all these feelings bottled inside, not wanting to burden anyone with your problems. With every new supernatural phenomena, you felt all these feelings begging to come to the surface. You couldn’t have that, you had responsibilities. But with Steven...he seemed like the type of person that you could actually talk to, if it weren’t for him ghosting you. You’d just have to keep it all inside a bit longer.

Stepping off the bus without a word to Steven made you feel hollow, cold without the coffee he usually would bring you as you both make jokes and bitched about the morning weather typically being foggy and/or rainy. It was one of those mornings, and it just made you feel worse. It was also a slow day, barely anyone coming into your store which was unusual, especially on a rainy day. You felt sluggish, not interacting with anyone made you feel like a lifeless zombie. You just wanted a customer, just one. But as soon as Steven walked in, you immediately regretted that sentiment.

You could instantly sense Steven’s nervousness as he walked up to your counter, hands fidgeting with one another and keeping his gaze fixed anywhere but you. “Hiya.” He spoke softly, an unconvincing smile on his lips.

“How can I help you today, sir?” Your bluntness made him blink in shock, obviously not expecting you to be so cold. You were being petty and you hated it, but you couldn’t help yourself. It was an annoying habit to be passive aggressive, and seeing the deepening frown on Steven’s face just made you feel worse.

He sighed. “Look, I-” He stuttered, “I know you’re probably wondering why I disappeared. And I know you might be upset-”

“Might?” You scoffed, biting your lip, trying not to let your emotions get the better of you. “We talked every day, Steven. And then all of a sudden, you’re gone. Without a word or reason why. So, yeah, sorry if I can’t help being a bit upset.” You chuckled bitterly, sighing sadly when you saw him shrinking away from your words. “And…I was worried. I thought that, I guess that I’d never see you again.”

“You were really worried? About me?”

“I mean, yeah. You’re, like, my only friend.” You blushed.

“Oh, wow, really?” He chuckled in disbelief.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…man, you could do so much better than me. I’m just this ball of anxiety. I don’t know how being friends with someone like me could be very nice.”

You frowned, saddened by his lack of self confidence. “Come on, Steven. Don’t be so hard on yourself. But you did seriously worry me. Where did you go? What even happened?” Steven looked up at you with wide eyes, fidgeting with the ends of his jacket. He looked like he was having a conversation with himself, his gaze becoming blank and unfocused, then looking back at you like he had forgotten you were even standing there. It didn’t make you hopeful that you were going to get an answer, and the realization made you deflate with a sigh. “You’re not gonna tell me.” You stated.

Steven gave you a sympathetic frown, his eyes already pleading for forgiveness without having to say anything. “I would, truly, I would. But I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s…complicated.”

You shook your head, trying to ignore your throat tightening and your already stinging eyes. You wore a tight lipped smile, taking a deep breath and meeting his gaze once more. “You don’t have to apologize. You don’t owe me anything, it’s not like you’re my boyfriend or anything.” You chuckled bitterly, quietly excusing yourself to the bathroom before Steven had a chance to say anything else.

You hated crying, for any reason; and you especially didn’t like crying because of someone else, it wasn’t worth it. But you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as soon as you closed and locked the door to the store’s bathroom. You covered your mouth to muffle the inevitably whimpers and squeaks that escaped your lips. You prayed that Steven couldn’t hear you, if he was even still in the store. Probably not, you felt like you must’ve scared him off. But to your surprise, you froze in place when you saw him still at your register. You quickly noticed the item in his hands and your heart felt like it was going to implode.

Neatly wrapped in Egyptian themed wrapping paper, a sandy white texture decorated with gold hieroglyphics with a simple post-it note on top that read ‘Steven’, the book that you went through hell to get for the man but never ended up giving to him. A desperate attempt to get him to realize your growing feelings for him. The gesture felt silly now, you certainly felt silly as Steven looked at you expectantly. “Sorry, it’s just…it had my name on it.” He explained with a slight stutter. You cursed yourself for not just leaving it at home where it would be safe from prying eyes. Maybe you should’ve chosen a more subtle paper so that it wouldn’t stand out as much as the gold. “I didn’t want to open it without your permission.” Ever the gentleman, huh?

Despite not being in the friendliest mood and still recovering from your quick cry in the bathroom, you shrugged and motioned for him to go ahead and open it. If only he hadn’t found it, then you could’ve just given it away or something and never have to think about it again. That would’ve been easier.

You waited with bated breath as Steven gently unwrapped the gift, careful not to tear the paper too much, as if it cost more than seven pounds. You almost didn’t want to look at him as the actual book started to peek through, the title flashing in white bold font smack dab in the center of the cover. It was only when the wrapping paper was completely off did you steal a glance at Steven’s face.

Your heart pounded as Steven's face immediately lit up with pure happiness, a wide grin spreading across his face and his bright eyes glancing back and forth between you and the book. "It's the book I wanted..." He said in disbelief. "You...bought this for me?" He stuttered.

You shrugged. "Yeah, who else would it be for? There's no one else I know obsessed with Egyptian history."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to."

There was a deafening silence for a moment where Steven just looked at you with an expression you could only describe as awe, like you just hung the moon and stars and how lucky he must've been to be in your presence. But of course, your insecurities told you that wasn't the case, it would never be that case.

"Thank you..." He whispered, so softly you had to strain to hear it. "This means a lot to me, really. I'll pay you back."

"No." You said immediately. "No, Steven. It was a gift. I didn't get this for you and expected anything in return."

Steven sighed, placing the book down gently on the counter, taking a step closer to you. "Look, I-...I'm not good at not being my awkward self, especially in front of such a beautiful person. I never wanted you to be angry with me. I have a lot of secrets, and I know that doesn't sound like the type of person you'd want to spend your time with. But if you let me...I'd love to take you out. And maybe we could get close enough where I can tell you all those secrets. But I understand if you never wanna talk to me again..."

You were blushing fiercely, your cheeks heating up you could practically feel your blood boiling just beneath your skin. You never expected Steven to be so bold, even though it didn't exactly sound that bold with his stuttering and slight waver in his voice. But it flustered you all the same. You rarely ever met someone and wanted to know all their secrets, but he made it sound so alluring. Tantalizing, like learning more and more about him was some incredible journey you had the opportunity to venture on. Him disappearing for a while and not telling you why was one thing, but you could sense another red flag in that speech of his somewhere. But the way he was looking at you, his pleading eyes, those big brown enchanting eyes that you wanted to get lost in. You didn't have the heart to say anything but yes.

"You really want to go out with me?" You voiced almost breathlessly.

Steven smiled wide. "Of course I do, darling. Since the first time we had a conversation, you made me feel like I could have something in my life other than chaos. You made...you make me feel at peace."

You chuckled bashfully, practically putty in his hands already. "How chaotic could the life of a gift shop-ist be?"

"Go out on a date with me and I'll tell you. What do you say?"

"Yes." You smiled. "I say yes."

jeez, finally took a break from posting only smut lmao. i miss steven, my baby boy🥺

Please write more for Osferth! Your last fic was amazing!!!

Aw, thank you so much, I really appreciate that!!!💕 and don't worry, I have a couple ideas I'm trying to figure out how to write at the moment.

I've realized, for me, soft boys™ are hard to work with more than others for some reason😂 Words don't word properly with sweethearts