If They Wanted You, They Wouldnt Go Hours Or Days Without Communicating

if they wanted you, they wouldn’t go hours or days without communicating

I can’t trust woman with my heart anymore. I love and trust too easily which leaves me susceptible to heart break. I never want my heart broken again.

Realizing that I subconsciously love bomb to “make them love me”. I thought that if I gave them unconditional love and gave them everything they wanted that they would love me back. And when they were nice to me and gave me attention I convinced myself that they actually did love me back. Even though they never said it, not even close. Then when I noticed a slight difference in their behavior I would feel like my best wasn’t good enough. Which then lead to my anxiety and insecurity to consume myself that I wasn’t good enough. Which then lead to me being so annoying and doing weird shit that then made them hate me.

I really didn’t want to lose this person.

Why did I have to learn this lesson at the cost of them? I hate life, but ig I deserve it.

I really hope therapy will actually help guide me to be the person who I want to become. I’ve done a lot of work already, but I hope a professional can help direct my growth in a more efficient way.

Holy shit I need a life