Journal Entry | October 7th

Journal Entry | October 7th

There are spirits I can tolerate—the lost souls, the ones who just want to be heard, to find peace. But then, there are others. Darker, more sinister presences that cling to people like shadows, or seep into the land itself, poisoning entire towns with their malice. These spirits... they're not just angry; they're violent, twisted things that live off the fear and misfortune of the living.

I can see them, and they can see me. That’s the problem. Some of them, when they catch sight of me, grow curious, wondering who I am, why I can see them. They follow me, like wolves circling, deciding whether I’m prey. The more aware ones—those that were human once but twisted into something far worse—talk to me. I’ve heard their threats, their promises of harm. They speak of things they’ve done, how they’ve cursed whole families or destroyed lives. Sometimes they don’t even try to hide it.

Some are puzzled by me, though. “So young,” they say, their voices rasping and dripping with disdain or amusement. They cackle when they realize I’m Ming-Ji’s granddaughter, the next one in line to continue the family’s work. A shaman, just like her, they say, voices filled with an eerie glee. They ask how long I’ll last, how much I can take before I break. Before they get to me, or worse—before I let them get to me. The way they watch me, it's like they’re waiting for the day I falter.

There’s one in particular I’ll never forget. I still feel shivers running down my spine when I think of it. It was... not human, not even close. Its body was elongated, scrawny, like all the flesh had been peeled away, leaving only bone and sinew. Its skin—what little there was of it—was stretched tight, paper-thin. And yet, for something so emaciated, it moved with such precision, like a predator toying with its prey, enjoying the chase before the kill.

Its voice... gods, I’ll never forget it. Nasally, hoarse, like it had been screaming for centuries and lost the ability to speak properly. It whispered in my ear once, when I wasn’t paying attention, too focused on another possession. "I see you, shaman. I know your name. I know your blood. And I'll be waiting."

I can still hear that voice sometimes, echoing in my mind when I least expect it. It never attacked me, not directly, but the way it watched me, the way it toyed with me like I was a piece in some game... I know it’s only biding its time. I’ve dealt with many spirits, but none like this one. None that felt so ancient, so utterly devoid of anything human.

I wonder if my grandmother ever encountered it. I never had the chance to ask her. Maybe she left it for me, like an inheritance I never wanted. All I know is that it’s still out there, lurking, waiting. And I’ll have to face it again.

- Haeseol.

Journal Entries | A Familiar Sorrow

September 28th

There was another dream tonight, though this one was different. I wasn’t myself. I was someone else—Yueliang. It felt familiar, like slipping into a memory that wasn’t mine. As a shaman, I’ve had experiences with spirits and their lingering emotions, but this... this felt more vivid. More personal. I wasn’t just witnessing it—I was her, feeling her thoughts, her emotions, as if they were my own. I could feel the weight of the brush in her hand, the silk of her robe against my skin. The connection was seamless, like I belonged there.

And then, there was him. Zhongyuan. He startled her—me—but the moment turned from surprise to something deeper. His presence was overwhelming, as if he commanded the very air in the room. I’ve never seen him before, but his face, his eyes—those blood-red eyes—felt hauntingly familiar. Like I’ve known him in another life, or perhaps in the echoes of spirits I’ve connected with in the past. He wasn’t just a figure in a dream. There was something more.

What unsettles me most is how familiar he felt, as if I’ve been waiting to meet him. But why? I’ve never dreamed of him before, never seen him in any visions or spirit work. And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that we are somehow connected, as if our paths have crossed before in ways I can’t explain.

I’ve been possessed by spirits, seen their memories and walked their paths, but this… this was different. This felt like it was meant to happen, like I was supposed to witness this. I don’t know what it means, but I can’t ignore the pull I felt toward him. Toward that life.

Who are you, Zhongyuan? Why do I feel like I’ve always known you?

Journal Entry | October 1st

I had another one of those dreams. But this time, it wasn’t just a dream. I was her again—Yueliang. I felt everything as if it was happening to me. The wind in the village, the warmth of her grandmother’s hand, the crushing weight of fate that hung over every moment of her life. It was almost too real.

Yueliang’s grandmother reminded me so much of Halmeoni (Korean for Grandmother). Blind, but seeing everything. Feeling everything. I never thought about how similar they are until now. Maybe it’s that sense of knowing, that wisdom in their blindness. Yueliang’s Halmeoni saw her future and tried to change it. Does Halmeoni see something about mine? Is that why she’s always been so protective, always pressing me to be more than I am? More than I want to be?

But what hit me the hardest was the choice Yueliang made. She knew the danger. She knew she was walking into the lion’s den when she went to Zhongyuan. But she still did it—because she thought love could change everything. And for a while, it did. But then, just like that, it all fell apart. No matter how strong she was, no matter how much love she had, fate came back with a vengeance. Is that how it always is? Can we really never escape what we’re meant for?

When Yueliang lost control of her body, when she was forced to hurt the one person she wanted to protect... I think that’s what scares me the most. The idea of being used, manipulated by forces I don’t understand. What if something like that happens to me? What if there’s some part of my life or destiny that I can’t control?

And yet… despite it all, Yueliang still believed in love. Even after everything. She prayed for peace. For another chance. For him. I wonder if I could be that strong, or if I’d just crumble under the weight of it all.

I’m not sure what these dreams mean or why I’m having them, but they’re starting to feel less like dreams and more like memories. I’m afraid of what might come next. But a part of me—just a small part—wants to know.

Maybe there’s something I need to learn from Yueliang’s story. Something about love. Or fate. Or maybe about how to fight against what feels inevitable.

I don’t know. But I’ll keep listening.

—Haeseol

Haeseol’s Journal Entry – Present Day

I can’t stop thinking about her. Yueliang, the Radiant Moon.

It was her song I sang at that wedding so many years ago. I didn’t know it then, but now it feels obvious—like something has been pulling me toward her all this time. Her life, her story… it feels so close to mine, as if we’re connected somehow. And maybe we are.

The similarities are hard to ignore.

Yueliang was revered, just like I am. A symbol of something greater—radiance, light, hope. Her people adored her, saw her as their guiding moon, just as my community sees me as a blessing, a figurehead to offer protection and peace. They look to me as if I hold all the answers, as if I can shield them from whatever comes next. But what if I’m just as lost as they are?

And then there’s the opposition. For Yueliang, it was the followers of Zhongyuan, the dark sun of the yin, constantly in conflict with the devotees of her light. For me, it feels the same—though I’m not battling any dark suns or cosmic forces. I’m battling expectations, control, the endless power plays around me that are beyond my grasp. There are people who want me to be something—someone—I’m not. And I’m trapped in the middle, just as Yueliang was.

Is this why I feel so close to her now? Is this why her sadness feels like my own?

She loved deeply, suffered deeply, all because of the role she was forced to play. A goddess, a beacon for others, but who was there for her? Who understood the pain of always having to shine for others, even when your own heart feels dark and empty?

I wonder… is that my fate too? Am I destined to be just like her—forever revered, forever isolated? Or am I more than just a reflection of Yueliang’s story?

I don’t know why I’m drawn to her. I don’t even know how I could be connected to someone so ancient, so divine. But something inside me is stirring, something that feels like recognition. Like my soul remembers something my mind doesn’t.

Could it be that I’m tied to her, this moon goddess? This radiant moon of the yang?

The idea feels impossible, yet undeniable. I’ve always been different. Always felt like there was something more to me, something I couldn’t explain. Could Yueliang be the answer? Could she be the key to understanding what I am?

It’s strange. The more I think about her, the more I see myself in her—revered, yes, but also bound by something larger than myself. There’s no escaping it. No matter how much I try to live my own life, I’m always pulled back into the roles I’m supposed to play. The roles that others have crafted for me. Just like Yueliang.

But if she’s the moon, does that mean I’m destined to be her reflection? Or is there something else, something more?

I have so many questions, and no answers.

All I know is that I feel her sadness. Her longing. Her desire to be free of the chains that bind her to her people, her duties, her fate. And I feel that same longing inside me too.

I want to be free. But can I ever truly be free, if this is the life I was born into?

For now, all I have are questions.

THE PAST LIVES OF HAESEOL KIM

⌗ ︙ A DESTINY WOVEN FROM ABOVE

➛ The love was there. It didn't change anything. It didn't save anyone. There were just too many forces against it, but what matters is that the love was there.

TRIGGER WARNING: violence, death, famine, sickness, murder, blood etc.

"Your heart and my heart are very, very old friends."

### TALE: TEARS OF THE MOON

In a small but thriving village that lay in the land of Mamic—long before it was known as a Kingdom—there lived a girl named Yueliang. She came from a humble and happy home, the second eldest daughter of a blacksmith father and a seamstress mother. Her older brother was the assistant to the village's head doctor. Despite this modest upbringing, Yueliang always knew she was different.

Her grandmother, Han-Yi, now old and blind, had sensed it the night Yueliang was born during a violent storm. "You are a Yang, child," Han-Yi had whispered one day, squeezing Yueliang's small hand. Back then, Han-Yi wasn’t blind, and they often walked together to the river during the day. "It is your destiny to fight the other half. The Yin." Yueliang, with the curiosity of a child, had many questions, but Han-Yi either hushed her or brushed them aside.

From that moment, Han-Yi began training Yueliang in secret. She taught her all she knew about Mana, guiding her toward realizing her untapped potential, despite their limited resources. It was essential, Han-Yi emphasized, that Yueliang's powers remain hidden. "You are the Yin's mortal enemy," Han-Yi would say, gripping her shoulders tightly, her voice laced with fear. "The only one capable of defeating them. If they knew you existed, they would stop at nothing to kill you. Fate doesn't care if you wanted this or not. You must fight. Destroying the Yin is the only way to bring peace."

The summer Yueliang turned sixteen, her brother died from a spreading illness that had come from another town. His body, like the others, had to be burned to prevent the sickness from spreading further. Yueliang had never seen her mother so devastated, unable to even bring him home for a proper funeral. Three years later, Han-Yi lost her sight.

One night, as Yueliang’s mother brushed and braided her hair with trembling hands, Yueliang asked softly, "Mother... would you be sad if I was gone?" The village had just sent a merchant’s daughter with black hair as a bride to the Emperor, though everyone knew she was a sacrifice to appease a monstrous demon rumored to live in the mountains.

Her mother's voice shook as she answered, "Of course, my dear. Your father and I would be so sad without you. You are our whole world." Yueliang sensed that her mother understood the dangerous path that lay before her daughter.

Yueliang turned and smiled, linking her pinkie finger with her mother's. "Then I'll become so strong that no one will have to be sad anymore. I’ll find a way to change this world for the better." From that day, Yueliang vowed to embrace the one thing that could change her fate and save everyone: love.

Yueliang continued living in her village, growing in her magical abilities. She learned to channel, manipulate, and balance her Mana into forms of light, mastering the art of healing. Despite her grandmother’s warnings, Yueliang often used her powers to help the sick and injured, believing it was her duty to aid those in need, like her brother once did.

Tragedy struck when Han-Yi fell gravely ill. As her grandmother lay on her deathbed, she beckoned Yueliang closer and squeezed her hand. "Do you know why I lost my sight, child?" she asked weakly.

"N-No," Yueliang stammered, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Because I saw what awaited you in the future and chose to change its course." Han-Yi slipped a hairpin into Yueliang’s hand, crafted from magical stones found in the caves. The pin was gold, adorned with a jeweled white flower. Han-Yi leaned in and whispered her final words into Yueliang's ear.

Years passed, and Yueliang was now twenty-three. She wore the hairpin her grandmother had given her, dressed in garments fit for an imperial concubine—the same attire the merchant’s daughter had worn before being sent as a sacrifice. Yueliang had volunteered herself in place of a younger girl with black hair and porcelain skin, knowing she could not let the child be sent to die.

As she ascended the mountain, Yueliang could still hear the desperate cries of her parents, begging her to come back. She knew they would never forgive her, but she hoped they would one day understand why she had to face her destined enemy, the Yin.

Yueliang’s enemy was a man named Zhongyuan, a monstrous figure and tyrant. He was feared for his madness and bloodshed and for the black-haired girls he had slain. When Yueliang finally stood before him, she fought to keep her fear at bay. She knew she had to offer something that would appeal to him more than death.

“Help me end this eternal cycle of Yin and Yang and create an era of peace,” she proposed.

For six years, Yueliang and Zhongyuan moved from enemies to allies to lovers. Yueliang immersed herself in Zhongyuan’s vast library, learning more about Mana and refining her combat skills. Over time, Zhongyuan’s cruel nature softened under Yueliang’s influence. He became more insightful and empathetic, the hatred that had once fueled his actions slowly diminishing in the light of Yueliang’s love.

Yueliang’s unwavering kindness and her desire to heal and help others deeply touched Zhongyuan. He saw in her a genuine wish to change the world, a dream she couldn't achieve without his help. They fought together, laughed together, and learned together, convinced that their love had broken the eternal curse of their fated battle.

But fate, relentless and unforgiving, had other plans.

One fateful day, Yueliang fell under a powerful spell, becoming a puppet in her own body, compelled to harm the man she loved. Zhongyuan's blood was on her hands, her radiant arrow piercing his heart and lung. Yueliang cradled him as he bled out, tears streaming down her face as she begged him not to leave, desperate to find a way to save him.

Zhongyuan, struggling to breathe, tried to wipe away her tears. “Yueliang…” he whispered, his voice weak. He had seen her give everything, never asking for anything in return, not even from him. In his final moments, he wanted to give her something that was truly hers.

“My love. My pain. Even my very last breath, all of it is yours.”

After that day, Yueliang disappeared. It is rumored that Zhongyuan was buried in an unmarked grave beneath the large tree where Yueliang’s arrow struck him—the same tree where they had professed their love to one another three years prior. Some say that Yueliang visits the tree, praying for Zhongyuan’s peace in the afterlife and hoping they will be reunited in the next life and all the ones to follow.

"The mind forgets but the heart will always remember. And what is the heart's memory but love itself." - Twan Eg Tan.

### TALE: THE SIYO & THREE BROTHERS

Centuries passed, and the cycle repeated with the arrival of the Siyo Goddess and The Great Sun.

Long ago, the three brothers, known as The Three Great Spirits, waged a fierce war over control of the world, spreading destruction and chaos. In their father’s desperation, Hae-Ri Jin, the Siyo Goddess, was sent to bring peace. She was the embodiment of water, the calm to their fiery spirits. To save them from their rage, she made the ultimate sacrifice: offering her blood to Tae-Mu Ryeong, the eldest and strongest, while giving her eyes and hands to the other two brothers. Yet their greed overcame them, and they tore her apart in their thirst for more.

As punishment, their father, the Almighty God, cursed them all. Tae-Mu Ryeong, the Great Sun Spirit, was doomed to endure an eternal thirst—no drink, no food, no life force could ever satisfy him. The curse was unyielding, and God spoke these words to seal the fates of his three sons: "The one Siyo that offers up their life for your agony shall become the master of your pain. Their sacrifice shall bind you to them, and you will carry their mark until your final breath."

"I've loved you all my life, even before we met. Part of it wasn't even you. It was the promise of you." - Li-Young Lee.

### TALE: THE STORY OF BAYAN & DHAN (Elixir Of The Sun - Manhwa)

The Dark Siyo, those with black hair, carried the true legacy of the Goddess, though the world had forgotten their worth. Over the centuries, the Silver Siyo rose in prominence, imposters who had cannibalized the original Siyo to gain their powerful healing abilities through consuming their blood. The Dark Siyo, seen as powerless, were cast out and shunned.

Among them was Bayan, a woman whose fate seemed sealed from birth. Her mother, Rangbi, had once been a revered shaman, known for her foresight and wisdom, before her pregnancy with Bayan made her an outcast. Rangbi, blind from the sacrifice of her sight to forge divination orbs for Bayan (made from her blood), was eventually poisoned by the village elders, dying in her daughter's arms. Yet despite Bayan's vow of revenge, it was Rangbi's final wish that her daughter escape to a future beyond the village.

Bayan was sent to the court of Emperor Dhan, the current descendant of Tae-Mu Ryeong, cursed with an insatiable bloodlust. Every concubine brought to him met the same fate—slaughtered by his thirst. Yet when Dhan tasted Bayan’s blood, it soothed the madness within him. Her blood, unlike the others, was a balm to his eternal thirst. In time, Bayan became more than just a concubine. Dhan saw in her the same calming force that Hae-Ri Jin had been for his ancestor.

Their connection deepened, and Dhan began to groom Bayan to be his Hae-Gae, his guardian, his Empress. He taught her to write, allowed her to read official doctrines, and shared the intricacies of ruling the empire. Bayan, once worthless in the eyes of her people, became essential to Dhan, both for his survival and his heart.

But even as their bond grew, Dhan was unaware of the prophecy’s full weight. He did not know that Bayan’s ultimate sacrifice was the only way to break the curse that tormented him. That moment came when poisoned ceremonial wine sent Dhan into a violent blood rage. In his madness, he attacked Bayan.

Despite the agony, Bayan did not run. She embraced him, letting him sink his teeth into her, tearing at her neck as he drank her blood. She endured his violence, knowing that her sacrifice would be the key to his salvation. As her body grew cold in his arms, Dhan’s madness ebbed, leaving him alone with the horror of what he had done.

Dhan wept over Bayan’s body, bloodied and lifeless in his embrace. He pulled out the divination orbs she had carried, swallowing one himself and placing the other in her mouth, urging her to swallow even in death. The prophecy was fulfilled—Bayan’s sacrifice had made her the master of his pain. The curse was broken, their souls bound together in life and beyond.

But instead of dying, Bayan survived, saved by the child she unknowingly carried, the life within her rekindling her strength. Dhan and Bayan were now forever bound—in thought, in emotion, in pain, in love. His suffering was hers, his joys and sorrows intertwined with hers. Everything that was his—his love, his pain, even his final breath—belonged to her.

---

Years passed, and after they both lived long lives, Dhan and Bayan found themselves at the threshold of the afterlife. The weight of time had come for them, their bodies old, but their bond unbroken.

As they stood together in the quiet of the afterlife, Bayan wrapped her arms around him

"Does Your Majesty wish to meet again in our next lives?" she asked softly, her voice carrying the weight of eternity.

Dhan chuckled, leaning into her embrace. “Of course. Were you considering abandoning me?”

Bayan smiled, resting her head against his chest. “No. When the time comes, I'll be your master once more.” Her voice was steady, filled with promise. “Your love. Your pain. Even your very last breath, please give them all to me.”

Dhan held her closer, a warmth spreading through him even in the stillness of the afterlife. "They are all yours, Bayan."

"And when you asked me how long for I have been in love with you, I realized I didn't know the answer. After all those years I just stopped counting, because my love for you seems timeless."- Jhon Grisham

### THE MODERN ERA: THE SHAMAN & THE PRODIGY

In every life, Haeseol and Tae-Jun have been bound by fate, their connection always marked by blood and sacrifice. From ancient enemies-turned-lovers like Yueliang and Zhongyuan, to the tragic romance of Hae-Ri Jin slain by the Tae-Mu-Ryeong that inevitably led to the violence of Bayan giving her life to save Dhan from his madness -- the weight of their shared history follows them. In this life, their bond is reignited when Tae-Jun nearly dies and Haeseol, harboring a secret, saves him once again.

Haeseol Kim, revered as a shaman, is the center of her community's devotion. Raised under her grandmother’s teachings, she is seen as a living deity, often surrounded by gifts and admiration. But her serene public image masks a dark truth: she is not entirely human. Born of a human hybrid, chiropteran queen, Haeseol’s blood is vampiric, passed down from her birth mother. It’s this very blood that saves Tae-Jun when he is fatally injured. In doing so, she transforms him into her chevalier —a protector forever bound to her through blood.

This transformation is not just physical—it ties Tae-Jun to her in every possible way. He becomes hyper-aware of her presence, able to feel her emotions, hear her heartbeat, and sense her every need. His life is tethered to hers, and Haeseol's vampiric hunger can now only be sated by his blood. Though it brings him unimaginable power, Tae-Jun’s new existence is suffused with the weight of eternal servitude, echoing the tragedies of their past lives where love was inseparable from loss.

Yet, this time around, their relationship is fraught with complications. Tae-Jun Park, once a feared and arrogant taekwondo prodigy, has spent his life bullying others into submission. Known for his prodigious martial arts skills, Tae-Jun's reputation is as imposing as his strength. But while others shy away from his aggressive nature, Haeseol stands firm. She hates bullies with a passion and has never hesitated to confront Tae-Jun head-on, calling him out on his behavior. In her eyes, he embodies everything she detests.

Their rivalry is constant, with Tae-Jun antagonizing her whenever he can, pushing her buttons just to see her reaction. Haeseol, on the other hand, refuses to back down, often matching his intensity with her own sharp wit and disdain. Despite their clashes, there’s an unspoken recognition between them—something neither can fully deny. While Tae-Jun exudes arrogance, secretly, he respects Haeseol’s strength and resilience. She’s the only one who stands up to him, and somewhere in the midst of their bickering, he can’t help but admire her.

For Haeseol, dealing with Tae-Jun is infuriating. His arrogance grates on her, but at the same time, she sees glimpses of the person buried underneath the bravado—a fighter, yes, but also someone trapped by the expectations of his family and the weight of their legacy. Tae-Jun, too, carries his own burdens, constantly striving to step out of his parents' shadow, yearning for recognition on his own terms. His pushy attitude, though frustrating, is part of a deeper struggle for validation.

Their dynamic is an odd balance of frenemies, with both of them unwilling to admit that despite everything, they do care for each other in their own way. Tae-Jun may be an insufferable bully, but he also values Haeseol’s opinion more than anyone else’s, even if he won’t admit it. And Haeseol, for all her dislike of his behavior, can't deny that Tae-Jun has a deeper role in her life, one that goes beyond their present-day squabbles.

Bound now by the chiropteran blood and their shared past, their connection has never been more intense. Tae-Jun’s transformation may have made him Haeseol’s protector, but in truth, he’s always been drawn to her, whether as an adversary or something more. Their relationship, born of rivalry and sustained by centuries of intertwined lives, is now a fragile balance between confrontation and undeniable destiny. Whether they can break free from the cycle of blood and sacrifice that has followed them for lifetimes remains uncertain, but in this life, they stand a chance at forging something new—if they can ever stop arguing long enough to realize it.

KIM TAE RI as Gu San Yeong REVENANT 악귀, 2023

Daily hanbok by 김재은.

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