Oh, Lea... My Heart.

Oh, Lea... my heart.

I know I explained this before but I'll do it better this time- I'm so overjoyed that the feelings and emotions, the reader's love for Vanderwood were so very crystal clear to everyone.

Realistic... because it's real. And I didn't know how to admit that until I read your review. I don't know how else to explain it other than. Than. I love him SOBS I love him, plain and simple.

This was obviously very very self-indulgent which is why I was nervous to post it. It was just one chunk of feelings without ANY dialogue, none whatsoever. That being said, I'm so so crazy happy that you enjoyed the read. How you described it is always what I am for with everything I write: honest and emotional. Thank you, Lea.

mystictober day 1: favorite character/ring

vanderwood + ring

words: 730

wanna be tagged? dm me/comment!

You carefully threaded the beads one by one, meticulously bringing your design to life. Eight white beads, four black beads, two purple beads, and six smaller gold spacers arranged around one letter-

The letter V.

You secure the ring with a knot, tugging a little and ensuring it was tight enough before trimming the string. Satisfied, you try it on your left hand and hold it up to the light, admiring how it looked.

In restrospect, it might have seemed like a silly little idea. But with your boyfriend-who-isn't-your-boyfriend away on a mission, what else could you do?

Really, you found yourself filling in idle moments of the day by staring at the ring, brushing your thumb against the beads and absentmindedly fiddling with it. You never took it off, not really.

You wanted to keep him with you, even if he wasn't around.

You didn't know when he was coming back. If he was coming back. Where he even was. Such is the life of an agent, you remember him saying one night, his arm around your waist and his fingers twiddling with the material of your shirt.

There was no way for you to contact him. All you could do was hope.

You looked at the facts. This was Vanderwood- the man was built like a machine, his scars proof of his continued survival from mission to mission. This was Vanderwood- a man who has been in this business longer than Seven has, a man who was too stubborn to ever go down easily.

This was Vanderwood.

Surely, he would come back to you.

Right?

You pretended not to count the days, to be unaware of how much time has passed since he left. But every night you'd sleep on his side of the bed, pull the sheets up to your nose and drown in whatever was left of his scent, try in vain to replicate the warmth he always wrapped you in- but to no avail.

It was always worth a try though. There wasn't much else you could do.

At least you could sleep at night.

Vanderwood, however, could not.

The man was never of many words, but somehow, he had gone even more quiet. During the mission, all Seven could do was glance at him sympathetically when he wasn't looking. The redhead didn't want to push, but he knew one thing was for sure:

Vanderwood just wanted to get this over with.

He would never say it aloud, but for the first time in his life, he badly wanted to come back. To make it out alive. Yes, he had always tried his best not to die, but now- but now-

He had you.

Vanderwood was not a selfish man. It was less about losing you and more about you losing him. He couldn't do that to you. Couldn't bear to think of how that would make you feel.

You would not waste your tears. He would make sure of that.

The night he makes it back- because of course he makes it back- he finds you fast asleep in bed, clinging tightly to his pillow. Moonlight pours in through the glass of the window, making it seem as though you were glowing. But the light shines on your ring, making the beads glimmer in the dark of the night.

For a man as large as he was, Vanderwood remained quiet, soundless as he moved closer to get a better look at the ring. It wasn't there when he left. The worst scenarios immediately run through his mind, worry flooding his system before he zeroes in on the very center of the ring, on the letter surrounded by his signature colors- the letter V.

He sighs in relief, almost even feels his eyes go misty- not that he'd ever confess that. Instead, he carefully climbs into bed and holds you, succumbing to the best sleep he's had in a while.

In the morning, you wake up with familiar, strong arms around you. You don't have to open your eyes- you know he's still sleeping. So you inhale deeply, breathing him in before pressing the softest kiss on his chin. Your arms embrace him, and the world outside each corner of the very bed falls away.

The rest of the world could wait. Your world was already here, right where it belongs.

Reblog if you're a fanfic writer and you wanna know what your followers' favorite story of yours is ❤

mystictober day 9: theater + hourglass

zen + theater + hourglass

words: 1546 (don't ask why it ran long...)

wanna be tagged? dm me/comment!!

There is an hourglass on your bedside table that you got from the last flea market you went to with your best friend. She was looking for a certain book that her boss sent her to find, and you had poked around and looked at what else they were offering. The owner said that it didn’t work anymore, but you thought it looked cute- especially since the sand was a pinkish red color that seemed to shine gold in the light and its frame had these diamond shapes that made it unique. So despite what the owner said, you still went ahead and bought it.

You figure the owner must have been mistaken, because when you got home that day and placed it in its spot, you saw the sands trickling down to the bottom half of the hourglass- albeit at a rather slow rate than usual. Whether it measured a week or a month or a year, you weren’t exactly sure. But you paid it no mind, simply content to use it as a decoration.

Most days you never spared it a second glance, but over the course of the year, you’d find that a noticeable chunk had gone missing from the top and fallen into the bottom of the hourglass. You weren’t exactly waiting for the sand to run out, but you wondered when it would finally happen.

Hands blindly search around the table, the hourglass shaking a little when you bump into it on your way to shut off the alarm on your phone. Sighing, you sit up and rub your eyes, blinking them open and awake. As your feet pad their way to the kitchen, you try to remember why it is you set an alarm today when you had no work- but your phone ringing all of a sudden again reminds you why.

“Good morning,” the voice on the other end of the line chirps. Your best friend is rarely this cheerful this early, and despite how groggy you feel, you manage to make your voice sound alive.

“Hey, Jae!”

“I wanted to make sure you were awake,” she laughs. “And you are! Will you be ready soon?”

“Mhm! Just let me eat and shower and all that,” you reassure her as you begin to prepare your breakfast.

“Alright, alright…oh! Did you listen to the-” Jaehee begins to ask you excitedly before you cut her off.

“Yes, yes! I’m ready. A hundred percent ready for the show, all thanks to you!”

“Okay,” you can hear the sheepish smile in her voice through the phone. “Sorry, I’m just really excited…”

“You should be! Now, let me finish up and we’ll meet at the theater soon okay?”

You both say your goodbyes and you finish up your business in the kitchen, staring at the sink for a moment after you put away your dishes. With a deep breath, you exhale and shake your head, walking towards your bathroom to prepare for the long day you knew you had ahead of you.

It doesn’t quite sink in that you’re going to have the full experience of this show, stage door and dressing room tours included, all thanks to Jaehee. You didn’t know how to repay her- getting her to accept your share for the tickets was hard enough.

But now you stood beside her underneath the giant marquee, flashing wide grins as Jaehee’s phone snaps a selfie of you two. The fangirl squeals excitedly and quickly uploads it to the messenger accompanied by some of her emojis before she pockets her phone.

Even though Jaehee had showed you the cast recording and you’d watched a few potato-quality videos on MeTube, nothing could have ever prepared you for the live performance that was happening before your eyes. Your friend was right, and you understood exactly why her adoration and support was so strong and unwavering.

Your eyes are glued to Zen the entire time he’s on stage, his voice absolutely captivating you with every note he sings. Each time he moves, it’s a sight so heavenly- the lights and smoke giving you the illusion that he was dancing on a cloud. And he might as well have been, with the way he glided across the floor. By the time the cast took their final bows, you found yourself wiping at a few stray tears that had escaped as you clapped rather loudly, you and Jaehee joining the others who were giving standing ovations as well.

It takes you a minute to collect yourself, sitting and chatting with your best friend as the rest of the people made their way out of the theater. Fortunately for you, Jaehee had already insisted on buying merchandise during the intermission, so there was no need to rush in line. You both made your way to stage door, the fangirl bouncing rather excitedly on her heels beside you. Swallowing, you turn to face her.

“So, Zen…”

“-Was so amazing, right? Did you see how beautiful his hair was? He didn’t even need a wig for this role! It’s actually that nice, and did you notice…”

You chuckle at your friend’s enthusiastic rambling and nod along, blushing a little as you remember all the details about the actor and his performance that Jaehee brings up again. Before you can chime with any of your own comments, though, a smooth, baritone voice interrupts the conversation.

“Aha, I see Jaehee here has already put in a good word,” the actor chuckles as he places a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. She bashfully stops mid-speech, turning to face Zen.

“I couldn’t help it,” she shrugs, giving the man a look. “You just did so well!”

To this, you nod, endeared at your friend’s display. You also try to drown out the screaming that has suddenly surrounded you.

“I did my best,” he says humbly before turning to face you. “Now, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Zen.”

He flashes his signature smile and reaches his hand out. You go to shake it, but he gently maneuvers his palm underneath to catch yours. Raising your hand, he presses a gentle kiss to your knuckles.

Somewhere in your darkened apartment, the final sands in the hourglass trickle down to the bottom of the timekeeper as you manage to tell him your name.

“I’d love to get to know you more and catch up with Jaehee, but I have some things to sign,” he gestures to all the people waiting. Zen speaks again before you can even begin to feel bad about holding up the line.

“Will you guys wait for me over here? I promise I’ll be quick!”

“Of course! It’s no trouble at all, right?” Jaehee answers before you can as she turns to you, waiting for your input.

“No, it’s not! We’ll wait,” you smile, linking your arm with hers.

“Perfect!” is the last thing Zen says, then he uncaps his marker and quickly makes his way down the line.

It looks like he’s shining. You’re not sure whether it’s just the sun hitting his alabaster skin, or stage makeup he hadn’t properly taken off yet, or the way he flashed his pearly whites- but he looked almost golden in his element. Jaehee catches you staring, but who was she to say anything if she was doing the same?

Once he’s out of good earshot, your friend speaks up.

“I think he likes you,” she says as nonchalantly as she could, pretending not to observe your reaction.

“What?”

Zen chooses this perfect moment to spare you a glance, to spare you a smile. Of course Jaehee catches this, too.

“He kissed your hand,” she tells you knowingly. There’s a look on her face you can’t quite read.

“He was probably just being a gentleman,” you quickly jump to his defense, swallowing slowly before smiling back at him.

“He doesn’t really do that to begin with,” she quickly responds. Mentally, Jaehee goes over all the times she’s seen Zen kiss a girl’s hand. Sure, the man was a flirt, but if she didn’t count all the times he did it to a stranger for the sake of formality, well… there was nothing else to count.

Before you can say anything else, Zen jogs back up to you, several gifts in hand. How can he carry all that in one hand?

“Alright, I gotta put these away before continuing. You guys can wait in my dressing room instead, I’d hate for you guys to get cold out here.”

Jaehee is surprisingly silent. She nudges you.

“Ah, that’s alright! Yeah, we can wait there,” you reply, shooting Jaehee a look after he takes the lead.

“After you,” he says, holding the door open.

“Thanks,” you mumble with a blush.

As you pass him by, his scent tickles your nostrils and you think another whiff will make you absolutely intoxicated. Your shoulders brush, and for a moment, you lock eyes- both of your faces falling into soft smiles.

You don’t know what it is, at all. You just met this man. Sure, he was devastatingly beautiful, but there was something else that was there.

The hourglass would never tell its secrets, but you had a feeling you were going to find out anyway.

thank you for the tag! WOAH, i haven't seen a game like this one yet so let's seeee- :o i may not answer everything though,

Nickname(s) you've had: sophie is actually already a nickname! i've had soph, soap/soapie, um, ellie and selli, yes me thinks that's mostly it. OH, and one of my friends has a special nickname for me and it's berrie, they're the only one who calls me it hehe <3 AND ONE OF MY FRIENDS recently started calling me "lil s"!!

Nickname(s) you wished you had: beats the hell out of me. i don't know what else i would want to be called o.o

Favourite snacks lately: chocolate milk... and, cookies? because i am distracted constantly i hardly snack SOBS, but i loooove to indulge in some instant noodles

Current interests: what counts as an interest blinks so hard. y'know when you get asked this and YOU BLANK OUT? that is me rn. for this i will say spanish because i am taking a class rn, but maybe i will also say banana fish. i have a desire to play genshin however i am uncapable

Current favourite song: oh oh um. i don't actually know, i'm not fixated on one (1) song as of the moment but hm, maybe Favourite Color by Carly Rae Jepsen and Pretty Boy by The Neighbourhood!! haha guess who it makes me think of

Current cravings: hehehe FRENCH FRIES, i want em so bad right now!! and i just had milk tea a few days ago, but i want it AGAIN

Latest rant: hah so i hate doing things halfway! so i may or may not be beating myself up for not being able to do 100% of mystictober, but i'm trying my best. i wanna do half at least! also me and jay (galaxytastes) were just ranting about how no one talks about jumin in the SE. PAIN. INJUSTICE

Last movie I watched in theatre: i remember discussing this with my sisters, i know for a fact it wasn't star wars tros but it was a movie after that. but i don't remember that movie TwT

Last time I did something nice for myself: um. honestly? i took a nap earlier. also does showering count?

What holds most of my attention lately: school, work but not as much anymore, rp + writing, aaand my friends who i all love so dearly!!

omg i answered all of em! tagging: @galaxytastes (i'll keep tagging you cause i love you), @little-butterfly-writes @quirky-and-kind @luxielle @luc606 @agent-bee and anyone who wants to do it! also also if i tagged but you don't wanna do it, that's okay too <3

another get to know your mutuals tag game!

if you don't have an answer just make one up, the more ridiculous the better tbh

nickname(s) you have had: James, oracle

nickname(s) you wish you had: I had a boss who called me "the machine" for a 2 week crunch period, kinda wish that had caught on lol

favorite snack lately: pink lady apple + sharp cheddar cheese

what are you currently reading/watching/playing? a visual novel about gay kinky vampires.. is that reading? I think it's called blood domination, fanfic ofc, watching link click, assassination classroom but very slowly, Aria before bed, playing om. recently deleted tears of themis bc I got bored

favorite song right now: I made this tag game just to farm music recs, actually. I'm bored with my music

what are you craving right now? dumbification. and the bottom inch of a drumstick ice cream cone

what have you ranted about recently? gerrymandering

last movie you watched in a theater: I had to think hard about this. Parasite, in Jan 2020 with my dad when he last visited me

last time you did something nice for yourself? I took a nap yesterday 😌

what holds most of your attention lately? job stuff, my kinktober drabbles

tagging @himbo-beel @lucisheart @momobunni @kaisspace @baalism & anyone else who wants to join

Mystictober Day 8: Jaehee x MC, feat. @little-butterfly-writes's Layla ^^

mystictober day 8: jaehee x mc / vacation

jaehee x mc + vacation

words: 1,076

wanna be tagged? dm me/comment

It may have been a passing comment, but it was one that had stuck to you ever since you attended your first RFA party.

“I must ask Sherlocking to retrieve my lost vacation days,” Jaehee says with a little laugh after welcoming the detective and checking the his name on the guest list. It was said lightly, but you felt the truth in her words, especially after the soft sigh that escapes her before you both move on to the next guest.

So naturally, you burst through the doors of C&R one day, fully clad in a detective outfit- complete with a briefcase and a magnifying glass. The borrowed coat you had on was way too big on you, but it only made you look all the more endearing.

“I found them, I found them!!” You exclaim as you enter Jaehee’s office, and she makes a very confused face at you, before looking back and forth between you and Jumin’s door, motioning for you to lower your voice.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Han is currently on a conference call with our associates from Japan,” she says apologetically, using a finger to lift her glasses back to the bridge of her nose. The assistant motions you to come closer. “What was- what was it that you found?”

Her eyebrows furrow as she blinks twice, taking in your appearance. What were all these stuff you were bringing? What in the world was your reason for this attire?

You erupt in laughter for a moment before you remember yourself, eyes widening while your hand comes up to stifle the laughs. As much as Jaehee adored the sight, the sound- she couldn’t tell you not to be quiet.

“I found them,” you say in a hush now, as if you’ve unearthed the biggest secret in the world, as if you held the very key to life in your hands. The briefcase is lifted onto Jaehee’s desk by your hands, an air of importance surrounding you. She tries sitting up straighter, higher to get a peek at what’s inside as you open it, but it’s obscured from her view.

You pull out a folder that held travel documents inside, an all expenses paid week-long trip to paradise as handpicked by you and Zen, and financed by none other than mister director, Jumin Han.

The briefcase is shut as you lay the folder on her table and slide it across in an official manner, like in a movie you’ve watched with her just to see Zen’s cameo in it.

“What is all this… ?” she asks quietly, a puzzled expression on her face.

As she opens the folder, you lean in and grin widely.

“Your lost vacation days!”

You can’t help but giggle again, excited for the overworked assistant. With eyes scanning through the details written down, she slowly begins to smile, but then her mouth falls back into a hard line.

“This cannot be possible. Is this one of Seven’s pranks, are you in on it this time?” She asks in disbelief, once again surveying your outfit.

“No no no, I swear-” you try to explain before Jumin himself walks out of his office, steady beats of his Oxfords slowing to a stop as he reaches the two of you.

“Assistant Kang, this is perfectly serious. We discussed this beforehand, everything has been worked out. Is that any way to show your gratitude?”

“Mr. Han- I didn’t- and,” Jaehee begins to fumble, caught off guard.

“It’s alright,” you swoop in and save her, laughing it off and waving your hand in reassurance. “I see why it would seem too good to be true. But it is true, I asked this guy right here,” you smile as you jut your thumb outwards towards the man in question.

Jumin only nods.

“I- How did you manage this? I’ve been trying to ask for so long…” she responds, still in shock, going through the files in the folder.

“Easy. I have seven cat-sitting days Jumin can redeem whenever he needs them,” you smile proudly, shoulders straightening out as you tug on the collar of your trenchcoat.

The director shares one of his rare smiles too, and gently lays a hand on your shoulder, nodding in approval. He turns to Jaehee and gives her a curt nod as well, before walking towards the elevator without another word.

The assistant finds the tickets and holds them up, staring at her own name printed on them. Like it’s a mirage that’ll disappear. Like it’s a hallucination she’ll snap out of soon.

But she feels the paper in her hands and- oh, why is it so thick?

Her thumb slides forward as her index slides backwards in an attempt, and to her surprise, the second ticket comes into view. Curiously, she places her ticket behind and gasps at what she reads on the second one.

Your name.

“You’re coming with me?” she asks, eyes still glued to the ticket.

“Of course I am!” you say, blushing sheepishly. “What good is a vacation if you spend it alone, am I right?”

Jaehee actually grins this time, finally setting down the documents and looking into your eyes once more. She looks so happy, you think you could almost melt right here, in your entire ensemble and everything. Magnifying glass included.

Nervously, you ramble on.

“I don’t know if you saw it yet but we’ll have time to go to some spots where Zen filmed for his latest movie!! He gave us all of the directions, he even helped me fix our whole trip! And there’s lots of cute coffee shops near where we’re staying, they do all the latte art and-”

You don’t notice that Jaehee’s made her way around her desk already to wrap her arms around you tightly, the way they are now. But you do notice the smile on her face and the way she has her eyes closed, the way she holds you tightly and oh my god, she smells so good-

You’re blushing, but she is too. Sighing happily, you tenderly hold the side of her head close to you as you relish in the warmth of your embrace.

“Thank you,” she murmurs most gratefully against your hair, and you’re so dizzy that you can’t tell if its the ghost of her lips that you feel brushing against your temple or the breeze on this office floor.

You secretly hope it isn’t the latter.