I Don't Why

I don't why 😭

😭😭

Otherwise I would died long ago from disappointment and heartache

Might need to rewatch black lightning again

Missing you

Khalil Payne moved to Akashic Valley in order to protect Jennifer, the love of his life. He feared relapsing into painkiller and killing the Pierce family. Here he had no friends, no family, no home. At least here he was far from Freeland.

He had tried to forget Jennifer Pierce, the girl he loved and left behind. He had tried to erase the memories of their time together, the kisses, the laughs, the promises. He had tried to convince himself that he was better off without her, that she deserved someone who wasn't a monster. But he couldn't forget her. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop dreaming about her. He struggled daily to resist the temptation to go back to Freeland and see Jennifer and his friends there.

The only thing helping him resist this temptation is getting updates from TC during their monthly appointments. Where they try to remove the kill order in Painkiller.

Today was one of those appointments that resulted in failure as the previous ones were. To distract himself from the failure he asked TC for updates on everyone there. To which TC updated him on the new school program of robotics that he has enrolled in to better their chances of removing the kill order and his new girlfriend. When asked about Jennifer TC hesitated to tell him that she had moved on Connor Hawke, the son of the former Green Arrow, Oliver Queen.

He immediately hung up and went to his room. There he felt a surge of emotion, a mix of anger, jealousy, and longing. He couldn't believe that Jennifer had moved on and she was with someone who wasn''t him. He wanted to see her, to talk to her, to hold her. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry, that he still loved her, that he wanted to be with her.

But he knew he couldn't. He knew that if he approached her, he would put her in danger. He knew that Painkiller would try to kill her, or worse. He knew that he had to stay away from her, for her own sake. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but he couldn't. He saw her face in his mind, her smile, her eyes, her hair. He heard her voice in his ears, her laugh, her whisper, her scream. He felt her touch on his skin, her lips, her hands, her tears. He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. He felt a tear roll down his cheek. He whispered to himself, "I miss you, Jen. I miss you so much."

Season 3 is for the overthinkers. The ones who always had the crush but were never the crushes. The ones who only see flaws when they look in the mirror. The ones who throw themselves into books because those worlds treat them better than life ever has. The ones who are just so goddamn tired.