I Would Love To Hear U Dissect Each Frame Of That Yoonah And Jinhwa Edit, I Cant Stop Watching It To

i would love to hear u dissect each frame of that yoonah and jinhwa edit, i cant stop watching it to try to figure it out 😭😭 youre so talented

ooooo i love this question and have been waiting to answer it all day aaa!! alright, let's get into dissecting the wolf and the lamb! and thank you so much!! your feedback means the world to me 💗

tw // the whole post is basically dissecting a toxic relationship founded on the basis of grooming told from a victim's perspective.

I think I already went into why I titled the edit The Wolf and the Lamb. I feel it's pretty self-explanatory, but The Wolf and the Lamb is a well-known fable with many interpretations and variants. For this edit, I used the wolf, a predator with a beautiful outer appearance, to symbolize Jinhwa and the lamb, a baby sheep who has no way to protect or defend themselves, to symbolize Yoonah as she could not possibly resist the attack of a wolf.

"WHAT VIOLENCE IS DONE TO YOU ON YOUR BEHALF?"

Jinhwa has been no stranger to violence even before he was born. His conception was one of violence, and he had the choice to let that control him or not, and he chose to let violence overtake him but in a "charitable" way. Deserving individuals are linked to Jinhwa's recent acts of violence. These individuals are mainly rapists, which downplays the severity of the murder. This does not refer to his physical violence but his psychological. Yoonah's eyes are pasted over Jinhwa's, with Misun's popping up every other beat as a reminder that Jinhwa's past would be his eventual downfall.

The quote could also be read as Jinhwa saying it to the girls. Jinhwa's words could be interpreted as blaming the girls for the violence he caused. Alternatively, he could be claiming that his actions made them stronger.

OBJECTIFICATION.

With a quote from this piece, Yoonah's constant objectification at the hands of Jinhwa is on display. Jinhwa's photos focus on her body, never showing her face. The photos reveal how Jinhwa viewed Yoonah: just a body, pretty face. In several pieces, Jinhwa often looks at Yoonah as a whore, so he sees nothing wrong with profiting off of that, even when she is clearly uncomfortable. The quote chosen really highlights how Jinhwa views her, as I see that quote as a projection on his end.

MANIPULATION.

A lot of the quotes are from THE VISIT, which is the last time, canonically, Jinhwa and Yoonah interact. Jinhwa attempts to manipulate Yoonah into believing he's her savior. He wants her to believe she would die without him. Manipulation is a prevalent theme in their relationship. It is Jinhwa's preferred method to make Yoonah yield.

DENIAL.

Jinhwa uses another quote from their last piece together. He says he has nothing to be sorry for. He tells Yoonah she will never get an apology from him. Images of women comforting injured men appear in rapid succession. They mimic a memory sequence. Jinhwa says he has nothing to be sorry about. However, Yoonah recalls all the times she took care of him. She washed the blood off him and loved him unconditionally. She did this despite knowing he wasn't the best man. These moments caused Yoonah some kind of pain or stress. She believes he should apologize for them. It hurts her to know he will never think the same.

THE FORGIVER.

And despite all this, Yoonah forgives. She always forgives him. This may be because she grew up Catholic and believes that forgiveness is the key. Or maybe it's just because she loved him so much. She was willing, I should say groomed into, to forgive all his wrongs. She has been taught to forgive and move on even if you're still hurt. She did this for the majority of her relationship with Jinhwa.

A SCENE.

I just thought these clips looked like they went together. Lol, this is what a typical Jinhwa and Yoonah interaction looked like, especially towards the end. He looks tired and so does she.

THE VISUAL.

The wolf and the lamb is shown while Jinhwa, the wolf, is delicately stroking Yoonah's, the lamb, face. This was like the perfect visual for them, in my opinion, because Jinhwa was infatuated with Yoonah. He had an unhealthy obsession with her that started from before they officially met. He would often watch her sleep, mainly to make sure she wouldn't leave in the middle of the night.

THE REMINDER.

Taken from The Thing About Time, Juwon reminds Yoonah of why she left Jinhwa in the first place. I put the words on his hand because I felt like it would represent how he hurt her with them? Like the reminder of why she left being on the hands that hurt her just felt right to me, if that makes sense.

INNER THOUGHTS.

The images of lambs and other soft creatures around Yoonah are meant to symbolize her inner thoughts throughout the day now that Jinhwa is dead. I like to imagine her thoughts manifest as animals if that makes sense lol? like she thinks a thought and doe is in her head...IDK IF WHAT I'M SAYING IS MAKING SENSE BUT! The lambs and does are meant to represent her and the things she thinks of daily, while the owl with its claws out is meant to represent the daunting thoughts of not having to pretend anymore.

THE FAMINE.

Without Yoonah, Jinhwa has nothing. To him, he lost the one thing he worked so desperately to get. There was never a time in his life when Jinhwa felt defeated, but after Yoonah won the court case and silently sealed their fate, he was completely defeated. Ultimately, though his suicide letter tries to point blame elsewhere, losing control of the girl he thought he could control forever was enough to push him over the edge.

THE LEAVING.

This scene is supposed to visually represent the last time Yoonah saw Jinhwa in the Angelico building. The quote, "I didn't want it to end like this […]. I'm going to miss him," hung over her as the elevator doors closed. This ended her chapter at Angelico, unbeknownst to Jinhwa. I like to think Angelico was just as toxic to Yoonah as Jinhwa was. They are practically the same entity. Yoonah loved all the opportunities Angelico gave her. However, she was willing to end her life to escape from there. Even then, Yoonah admits to missing Jinhwa even though she knows it sounds wrong. In this context, Jinhwa is not yet dead but she knows she'll miss him by leaving Angelico. This could visually represent the first step to Yoonah's freedom. But the shadow of her approaching grief looms over her.

THE LOOP.

The edit loops to symbolize how the cycle of abuse is just that, a cycle. It repeats.

THE END.

The same quote from earlier is used, but this time with the context that Jinhwa has died. Now, Yoonah is regretful of her choices because she thinks they've caused a loss of life, a life that she will miss even though he treated her terribly.

jiwon ♡ 240504

BRAT PACK stepped into the Kpop world to... no noise. They didn't have enough money to promote their debut single, VON DUTCH, on music shows, but that didn't stop them from performing the song on every street corner in South Korea. The song, though now beloved by fans, was not impactful in 2022, to the dismay of Sora.

Okay, so, they tried again! The digital single STICKY performed better than the last, and this time, they actually promoted on music shows in the funkiest outfits and hairstyles you've ever seen, which garnered them some attention from international stans and domestic stans alike. Sticky wouldn't chart but it charted in the members hearts.

I WANNA was released at the end of 2022 as a hail mary, which was unanswered. The song, another digital single, failed to chart, but again, the group would gain traction for their interesting styling when they appeared on music shows. They would also be praised for their live vocals and harmonization. The small fanbase they gathered was getting restless: Where Is The Album?

Well, the album would come in 2023. "BRAT STARTER PACK" would be the first mini album of BRAT PACK with the accompanying title track IMPOSSIBLE. This album actually managed to chart. Of course, it peaked at 77, but it still charted! It charted, and that's all that mattered to Kpop stans! Impossible did help their fanbase grow. They were slowly, but surely, gaining traction.

Then...they just kinda vanished for the rest of the year? They didn't even disappear fully. It was weird they started doing a lot of fan calls, a lot of international meet and greets, a lot of international concerts in small ass venuses—It was really clear to some people that Acidic Records and needed money so they started really leaning into the parasocial aspect of being an idol group and while this worked and got them money, it also got them a batshit crazy fanbase!

In comes the first month of 2024. Brat Pack stans, who have yet to be named, are rabid. They want music, they want it now, and Augustus Moon gave them some music. EXEXEL dropped as a physical single and went massively viral. This song was everywhere; you could not escape EXEXEL or Brat Pack. It peaked at 12th on the Kpop Billboard 100, the highest the group had ever charted. They were everywhere. This was massive. This was a movement if you will.

They kept the hype up with their second mini album "TEXT ME BACK?" dropping to massive fanfare, the title track "ur eta?" still climbing the charts and currently resting at number 7 on the Billboard 100, marking another milestone for the promising group. One thing is for sure, Brat Pack is becoming one of the most notable and influential co-ed groups to recently step into the industry.

IN WHICH ... The hopelessly devoted comes face to face with their idol only to find she is not as kind as she seems.

FEATURING ... CHLOE LEE + JUNG JUYEON

TRIGGER WARNINGS ... Self-harm. Abuse of power. Blood. Manipulation. Mentions of past sexual abuse and abusive relationships. Fan x Idol relationship. Juyeon is kinda lowkey a sasaeng, but that's neither here nor there. Mentally Ill Characters.

WORD COUNT … 3K

WRITERS NOTE … This is a dark piece and Chloe is not a good person in it! Finally, got around to finishing this after starting it in March lol I want to say timeline wise this fits right before they left Flowerbank so earlier this year! Not proofread btw! rbs, comments, and asks are always appreciated ♡

“I know everything about you.”

“Oh yeah?” 

Juyeon nods like a dumb dog, with wide eyes yet a stoic expression, making Chloe smile brighter at him and tilt her head.

“What’s my favorite color?”

“Purple. Lilac.” He barely even needs a second, causing Chloe to give him an impressed look, nodding. Her eyes scan him slowly as if she’s a snake watching her pray nussle his way through the garden so unaware, so unexpecting.

Chloe hums, inching closer to him. Juyeon’s breath caught slightly at their knees, barely brushing as they sat on her bed. He hopes she doesn’t notice, but she does. Chloe notices everything. She has to. Bad things happen when she doesn’t pay attention. At least that’s what she tells herself, hoping never to repeat her past mistakes.

“What’s my mom’s name?”

“Kimberly. She’s a lawyer. And your dad’s name is Jeff. He’s also a lawyer. He adopted you when you were six.” Chloe is so intrigued by how someone could know so much about a person they never met. Sena is like that with her little celebrity crushes, but Chloe thinks Sena is a loser. She tries not to view Juyeon in such a harsh light, but it’s hard with how he is. He’s a kind loser, though. A kind loser dedicated to her and only her. That makes him different.

Chloe reaches out and puts her hand on his knee. Juyeon blinks down at her hand like he can’t believe she’s really there. Chloe wonders what he’s thinking as he sits in her room in the middle of the night. He looks like a small and fuzzy animal that Chloe can’t think of the name of right now. She bets his heart is beating like crazy, and his mind is racing trying to rationalize how he got here. 

He’ll never conclude because there is no rationale behind it. Nothing Chloe does when it comes to men is rational.

“You’re so special, Juyeon. You make me feel safe,” Chloe tells him in a sickly, sweet voice, smiling at him. Juyeon smiles proudly at her words, looking as if he has gained an ounce of confidence right in front of her. Chloe likes that. She likes that a lot.

“Good,” Juyeon nods. “You deserve to feel safe, Chloe.” 

Those words strike something in her that makes her lips twitch. It’s true; she deserves to feel safe, so why didn’t she get that liberty years ago? Why did she go through what she did? Why can she still feel the crisp air from that night? Why doesn’t she actually feel safe years later and in the privacy of her own home? Chloe has so many questions she can’t answer and knows no one else can either.

The only person who could give her maybe some closer is dead. A pile of ash remains in the dirt. It’s not like Hyojin would’ve given her the relief of a reason anyway. He wanted Chloe to suffer for as long as she could, and she has.

Chloe inhales deeply through her nose, trying to get out of her head as she looks at Juyeon, who stares at her with nothing but awe and admiration. Chloe tilts her head, reaching out and touching his cheek. He gives that same look of shock as he did when she put her hand on his knee just a moment ago, making her chuckle quietly like she’s endeared.

“Juyeon,” Chloe sings playfully as she leans in closer to him, “Have you ever been touched like this before?”

He’s a grown man, but Chloe isn’t naive. He’s been her fansite for three years. She can’t imagine many women throwing themselves at him, even with his cute exterior. Juyeon is awkward and at times off-putting, but not to Chloe—No, to Chloe, it’s endearing because he only wants her. No one else could want Juyeon because he only wants her. That’s what made him special. That’s what made him safe.

Juyeon shakes his head with a sheepish laugh.

“N-No. I study a lot, and when I don’t study, I…” He motions towards her, tilting his head slightly to lean into her palm, obviously liking the touch. “I’m taking pictures of you…I don’t really talk to girls like this.”

Chloe rubs her lips together, smiling.

“Why not?”

“Hm?” Juyeon raises his brows. Chloe hums. She wants to hear him say it.

“Why don’t you talk to girls? You’re a really handsome guy, Juyeon. Girls probably throw themselves at you.”

Juyeon genuinely laughs at that, shaking his head.

“Oh no. No…Not me. They don’t–Girls don’t notice me.” Chloe pouts almost mockingly at Juyeon’s confession, clicking her tongue with a pitiful ‘aw’ as she drops his hand from his cheek. For a moment, he looks disappointed until Chloe climbs in his lap, a surprised expression taking over his face, and her hands find purchase on his shoulders.

“Why don’t girls notice you, Juyeon?” Chloe asks with a voice feigning pity as she situates herself in his lap. Her smile slowly turns into a smirk the more she watches his face. She can see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows audibly when their hips touch, keeping his eyes locked with hers. 

He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, leaving them hovering awkwardly over her hips like he’s not allowed to touch her. Chloe likes that. She likes touching him without asking, but he wouldn’t dare do the same to her. Chloe likes being in control.

Juyeon shrugs his shoulders, causing Chloe’s hands to slide to the side of his neck. She can feel his pulse racing beneath her fingers. It makes her nearly giddy that she is right about that. 

“I…I don’t know.”

“Do you want them to notice you?” Chloe asks, voice soft like they’re sharing secrets. She supposes they are. At least, Juyeon is.

“Not really,” Juyeon answers swiftly, almost sounding eager. Chloe hums, taking his face into her hands and running her thumbs across his sharp jawline.

“Tell me why.”

Juyeon blinks up at her, gulping quietly.

“Because…I only…” There’s a long pause, but Chloe waits, knowing she’ll get the answer she wants if she lets him work it out in his head. Juyeon reaches up to where her hands rest on his face, hovering over Chloe’s but not touching her. 

“I only want you.”

It's like a switch was finally flipped in Chloe’s brain. She smiles proudly, nodding at him and leaning forward to press her forehead to his.

“You’re such a good boy, Juyeon.” Chloe kisses his cheek at that, leaving behind a pretty pink lipgloss mark as she does so. Juyeon makes a small sound when she kisses his skin, hands still awkwardly in the air as they ball into fists, unsure how to cope with the emotions inside him. Chloe looks at his hands, taking his wrists into her palms and guiding him to where they should be on her waist. His breathing stops for a second, taking a second before fully holding her in his palms for the first time. Juyeon looks up at her like she’s an unspoken God, his full lips parted like he’s about to say something, but the words just don’t come out. He’s so pathetic, Chloe thinks with a coy smile.

“Jueyon,” Chloe whispers like a soothing siren call, taking his chin between her fingers to keep him looking up at her. “What would you do for me?”

“Anything,” Juyeon answers with an ounce of hesitancy, making Chloe bite her bottom lip with a low hum.  She smiles, her eyes darkening slightly. 

"Anything?" she asks again, her voice warm and inviting. Juyeon nods, his heart pounding in his chest.

  Chloe leans in closer, her breath hot against Juyeon's ear. She whispers a single question, barely audible but laden with promise.

"Want to prove it?” Her words are taunting and even daunting, making Juyeon’s throat tight. He nods regardless, waiting for her word to move. Chloe easily crawls out of his lap, moving swiftly towards her desk. 

She’s had this planned before she invited Juyeon over—the ultimate test of his devotion. It’ll prove not only how loyal he is to her but how far he’ll go for her. Chloe likes pushing people, especially men, even sweet ones like Juyeon. She figures she likes them more when they’re sweet like she’s preparing them for how cruel and harsh the world is, something she wished someone had done to her before she collided with Hyojin.

Often, there are days when Chloe sits in her room and stares at the floor, remembering who she used to be. People talk about the person Chloe once was with sorrow, mourning her despite her still being alive. Chloe was sweet, Chloe was kind, and Chloe had a light inside her that burned brighter than a thousand sunsets, but that Chloe died in a field at the hands of several men who didn’t care how hard she cried and pleaded for them to stop touching her. That Chloe was so decomposed by this point she was not even bones; she was nothing but dust in the dirt, waiting to be blown away by a gust of wind that never came.

Chloe puts out a pink boxcutter to Juyeon, pushing up the blade with her thumb, filling the room with several clicking sounds. She raises her brows at him, smiling warmly at Juyeon’s widened gaze on the blade in her hand.

“I want my name on you.”

Juyeon takes a deep breath through his nose, shaky and uncertain, before his gaze lifts to Chloe’s face. He still looks like a dumb dog to her, eyes wide and full of something Chloe can’t pinpoint, but she thinks it’s fear. It feels like she’s holding her breath in the best way, her head feeling light and her stomach in the tightest knots. She raises her brows at his look, letting out a hum of disappointment that makes Juyeon quickly shake his head before she can even voice any discontentment. 

“Where? Where do you want your name?” His words are choppy, overthinking each one as his eyes dart around before deciding to settle on the carpet where Chloe stood. Chloe smiles, striding towards him, causing Juyeon to lean back slightly to stay out of reach of the blade. Chloe’s dark brown eyes scan Juyeon’s body, taking in his near-perfect posture. Her eyes linger over his chest, puckering her lips as her gaze rakes over his arms like he’s a piece of meat she’s inspecting at the market for dinner. 

Chloe jabs a pink polished nail into his bicep, nodding as an excited smile grows on her lips. Juyeon’s head follows her finger, thick lips curling in, but he says nothing. Slowly, he reaches for the box cutter in Chloe’s hand. Chloe can see his hand shaking as it extends in midair, reaching to meet hers. Her eyes widen in excitement, flicking up to watch his face as he wraps his hand tightly around the tool.

Chloe knows he doesn’t want to do this. She can see it on his face, how his body tensed, and how hesitant he is to roll up his sleeve, but she doesn’t care. 

The first cut is too shallow for Chloe. He barely breaks the skin but still hisses at the sensations. Blood barely beads from the cat's scratch, making Chloe shake her head disapprovingly.

“Don’t be a bitch about it,” Chloe tells him gruffly, grabbing the hair at the crown of Juyeon’s head, shaking him by it as if to physically shake out the worries and doubts filling his head. Juyeon lets out a pathetic sound that Chloe can’t decipher if it’s a moan or not. Either way, she smirks, letting go of his hair to smack the side of his head like she’s hitting a beach ball. “Do it right. I want to see you bleed. That’s the point. You’re supposed to prove how much you like me–”

“I love you,” Juyeon corrects, breathing heavier than Chloe thinks he should, so she smacks the other side of his head, laughing at how he just takes it, moving in every direction Chloe pushes and pulls him. Chloe coos at his whiny words, grabbing him by the hair again and pulling his head back to look up at her as she leans closer to him. He smells like oranges and cedar. It makes Chloe hum, tracing the bridge of his nose with the tip of hers. 

“Then prove it,” She whispers, pulling his head back with a final tug before letting go of him. She stands in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest in refusal to touch him until he gives her what she wants.

Chloe proves to be a bloody name to spell into the skin.

Blood drips and pours from the cuts on Juyeon’s bicep, running down his forearm and tangling in the hair. The arm with her name now forever etched into it twitches and shakes as she runs a wet washrag over the wound. He takes shaky breaths with every swipe, eyes wet and dripping with tears that run down his high cheekbones. Chloe thinks he looks cute like this, a gentle smile on her lips as she tends to his wound. There’s blood on her sheets, but Chloe doesn’t care. There’s a sick sense of pleasure winding inside her at the sight of the crimson staining her once spotless pink sheets. They’re now like her, she thinks, like Juyeon too. Juyeon is forever marked with her, a mark he can never get rid of even if he tries. 

He’s tainted. No one wanted tainted meat.

Chloe leans in to kiss the side of his head, feeling Juyeon lean into her touch almost instantly. He keeps leaning in, ducking his head down to rest on her chest with tightly shut eyes as his not-injured arm wraps around her waist to keep her close. Chloe smiles at that, running a hand through his silky black hair.

“I love you, Juyeon,” Chloe tells him because she knows he wants to hear it. She isn’t sure if she really does love him, more so she’s obsessed with him but not like he is with her. Juyeon moans quietly into her skin at her words, holding her waist tighter before loosening his hold. Chloe looks down at him before turning her head to look at his arm.

He’s still bleeding. Chloe figures it won’t stop until she puts a bandage on it. She stares at the cuts, a dull buzzing taking over her body as she reaches out and swipes her finger across the cuts, pressing down so the skin drags and rips further beneath her touch. Juyeon groans, wincing against her, but doesn’t lift his head, wanting to stay as close to her as possible. Chloe looks at the blood covering the tip of her finger, tilting her head at it like she’s never seen anything like it before. She presses the digit on the pad of her tongue, dragging it down to clean herself of Juyeon’s blood, leaving a streak of red behind. 

Chloe hums at the taste, puckering her lips as she thinks about what to compare him to. He tastes sweet but metallic, reminding her of a not-yet-ripe grapefruit.

“So sweet,” Chloe hums, rubbing Juyeon’s back as a reward. Juyeon lifts his head just a bit to press into her neck, taking a deep breath, causing goosebumps to rise on Chloe’s arms. “You really would do anything for me, wouldn’t you?”

Juyeon only nods, the wetness of his face smudging against the skin of Chloe’s neck. Chloe’s eyes stare ahead of her, smiling as her fingers card through the man’s dark hair, soothing him and her. She pulls back, taking his strong jawline in her hands. Juyeon’s eyes are wet, still dripping with tears, but he looks at Chloe with unwavering love and devotion. She smiles at him like nothing is awry, leaning down to press her forehead to his.

“I love you, Juju. So good to me,” Chloe whispers, nuzzling her nose against him, watching as his eyes shut in bliss while a tear rolls down his cheek. Chloe thinks he’s had enough for one night, earning what he’s probably been dreaming about for years. She dips her head down, pressing her lips to his gently for a moment before pressing deeper, hearing a moan leave his throat and vibrate against her lips as she does so. The kiss is warm and still, Juyeon barely moving an inch as Chloe presses her chest against his for a second then pulls back, a small smacking sound filling the room.

Juyeon looks up at Chloe with hazy eyes, blinking up at her like she’s some kind of magical being that shouldn’t be visible to the human eye. He reaches up, holding her cheek in his hand with the arm that now has her name engrained forever. Her breathing catches, looking down at Juyeon with wide eyes. She expects violence, prepping for a strike that never comes. Instead, his thumb runs over her cheekbone and then drags down to run across her plump bottom lip. Juyeon could overpower her if he wanted to. Most people could. Chloe is small and frail, her hands bony and real nails brittle. It’s always been hard for her to put on weight, but that’s not a real issue in the industry in which she works. Juyeon isn’t violent, though. There’s not even anger in his gaze, only love.

“Anything for my Chloe,” Juyeon whispers like an oath. Chloe hated admitting it, but her heart skipped a beat at that, her hands delicately resting on his bicep. Her eyes fall down to the bloodied mess on the inside of Juyeon’s arm, rubbing her lips together at the messy sight before looking back at his face. She doesn’t say anything, only leans in and kisses his lips again. He tilts his head up to return the kiss, initiating a deepening, but Chloe pulls back before either of them can.

“Need to bandage you up,” Chloe hums, kissing his cheek as a parting gift as she moves off the bed to get the first aid kid from the same desk she got the boxcutter from. Even now, there’s a smile on her face.

IN WHICH ... The hopelessly devoted comes face to face with their idol only to find she is not as kind as she seems.

FEATURING ... CHLOE LEE + JUNG JUYEON

TRIGGER WARNINGS ... Self-harm. Abuse of power. Blood. Manipulation. Mentions of past sexual abuse and abusive relationships. Fan x Idol relationship. Juyeon is kinda lowkey a sasaeng, but that's neither here nor there. Mentally Ill Characters.

WORD COUNT … 3K

WRITERS NOTE … This is a dark piece and Chloe is not a good person in it! Finally, got around to finishing this after starting it in March lol I want to say timeline wise this fits right before they left Flowerbank so earlier this year! Not proofread btw! rbs, comments, and asks are always appreciated ♡

“I know everything about you.”

“Oh yeah?” 

Juyeon nods like a dumb dog, with wide eyes yet a stoic expression, making Chloe smile brighter at him and tilt her head.

“What’s my favorite color?”

“Purple. Lilac.” He barely even needs a second, causing Chloe to give him an impressed look, nodding. Her eyes scan him slowly as if she’s a snake watching her pray nussle his way through the garden so unaware, so unexpecting.

Chloe hums, inching closer to him. Juyeon’s breath caught slightly at their knees, barely brushing as they sat on her bed. He hopes she doesn’t notice, but she does. Chloe notices everything. She has to. Bad things happen when she doesn’t pay attention. At least that’s what she tells herself, hoping never to repeat her past mistakes.

“What’s my mom’s name?”

“Kimberly. She’s a lawyer. And your dad’s name is Jeff. He’s also a lawyer. He adopted you when you were six.” Chloe is so intrigued by how someone could know so much about a person they never met. Sena is like that with her little celebrity crushes, but Chloe thinks Sena is a loser. She tries not to view Juyeon in such a harsh light, but it’s hard with how he is. He’s a kind loser, though. A kind loser dedicated to her and only her. That makes him different.

Chloe reaches out and puts her hand on his knee. Juyeon blinks down at her hand like he can’t believe she’s really there. Chloe wonders what he’s thinking as he sits in her room in the middle of the night. He looks like a small and fuzzy animal that Chloe can’t think of the name of right now. She bets his heart is beating like crazy, and his mind is racing trying to rationalize how he got here. 

He’ll never conclude because there is no rationale behind it. Nothing Chloe does when it comes to men is rational.

“You’re so special, Juyeon. You make me feel safe,” Chloe tells him in a sickly, sweet voice, smiling at him. Juyeon smiles proudly at her words, looking as if he has gained an ounce of confidence right in front of her. Chloe likes that. She likes that a lot.

“Good,” Juyeon nods. “You deserve to feel safe, Chloe.” 

Those words strike something in her that makes her lips twitch. It’s true; she deserves to feel safe, so why didn’t she get that liberty years ago? Why did she go through what she did? Why can she still feel the crisp air from that night? Why doesn’t she actually feel safe years later and in the privacy of her own home? Chloe has so many questions she can’t answer and knows no one else can either.

The only person who could give her maybe some closer is dead. A pile of ash remains in the dirt. It’s not like Hyojin would’ve given her the relief of a reason anyway. He wanted Chloe to suffer for as long as she could, and she has.

Chloe inhales deeply through her nose, trying to get out of her head as she looks at Juyeon, who stares at her with nothing but awe and admiration. Chloe tilts her head, reaching out and touching his cheek. He gives that same look of shock as he did when she put her hand on his knee just a moment ago, making her chuckle quietly like she’s endeared.

“Juyeon,” Chloe sings playfully as she leans in closer to him, “Have you ever been touched like this before?”

He’s a grown man, but Chloe isn’t naive. He’s been her fansite for three years. She can’t imagine many women throwing themselves at him, even with his cute exterior. Juyeon is awkward and at times off-putting, but not to Chloe—No, to Chloe, it’s endearing because he only wants her. No one else could want Juyeon because he only wants her. That’s what made him special. That’s what made him safe.

Juyeon shakes his head with a sheepish laugh.

“N-No. I study a lot, and when I don’t study, I…” He motions towards her, tilting his head slightly to lean into her palm, obviously liking the touch. “I’m taking pictures of you…I don’t really talk to girls like this.”

Chloe rubs her lips together, smiling.

“Why not?”

“Hm?” Juyeon raises his brows. Chloe hums. She wants to hear him say it.

“Why don’t you talk to girls? You’re a really handsome guy, Juyeon. Girls probably throw themselves at you.”

Juyeon genuinely laughs at that, shaking his head.

“Oh no. No…Not me. They don’t–Girls don’t notice me.” Chloe pouts almost mockingly at Juyeon’s confession, clicking her tongue with a pitiful ‘aw’ as she drops his hand from his cheek. For a moment, he looks disappointed until Chloe climbs in his lap, a surprised expression taking over his face, and her hands find purchase on his shoulders.

“Why don’t girls notice you, Juyeon?” Chloe asks with a voice feigning pity as she situates herself in his lap. Her smile slowly turns into a smirk the more she watches his face. She can see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows audibly when their hips touch, keeping his eyes locked with hers. 

He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, leaving them hovering awkwardly over her hips like he’s not allowed to touch her. Chloe likes that. She likes touching him without asking, but he wouldn’t dare do the same to her. Chloe likes being in control.

Juyeon shrugs his shoulders, causing Chloe’s hands to slide to the side of his neck. She can feel his pulse racing beneath her fingers. It makes her nearly giddy that she is right about that. 

“I…I don’t know.”

“Do you want them to notice you?” Chloe asks, voice soft like they’re sharing secrets. She supposes they are. At least, Juyeon is.

“Not really,” Juyeon answers swiftly, almost sounding eager. Chloe hums, taking his face into her hands and running her thumbs across his sharp jawline.

“Tell me why.”

Juyeon blinks up at her, gulping quietly.

“Because…I only…” There’s a long pause, but Chloe waits, knowing she’ll get the answer she wants if she lets him work it out in his head. Juyeon reaches up to where her hands rest on his face, hovering over Chloe’s but not touching her. 

“I only want you.”

It's like a switch was finally flipped in Chloe’s brain. She smiles proudly, nodding at him and leaning forward to press her forehead to his.

“You’re such a good boy, Juyeon.” Chloe kisses his cheek at that, leaving behind a pretty pink lipgloss mark as she does so. Juyeon makes a small sound when she kisses his skin, hands still awkwardly in the air as they ball into fists, unsure how to cope with the emotions inside him. Chloe looks at his hands, taking his wrists into her palms and guiding him to where they should be on her waist. His breathing stops for a second, taking a second before fully holding her in his palms for the first time. Juyeon looks up at her like she’s an unspoken God, his full lips parted like he’s about to say something, but the words just don’t come out. He’s so pathetic, Chloe thinks with a coy smile.

“Jueyon,” Chloe whispers like a soothing siren call, taking his chin between her fingers to keep him looking up at her. “What would you do for me?”

“Anything,” Juyeon answers with an ounce of hesitancy, making Chloe bite her bottom lip with a low hum.  She smiles, her eyes darkening slightly. 

"Anything?" she asks again, her voice warm and inviting. Juyeon nods, his heart pounding in his chest.

  Chloe leans in closer, her breath hot against Juyeon's ear. She whispers a single question, barely audible but laden with promise.

"Want to prove it?” Her words are taunting and even daunting, making Juyeon’s throat tight. He nods regardless, waiting for her word to move. Chloe easily crawls out of his lap, moving swiftly towards her desk. 

She’s had this planned before she invited Juyeon over—the ultimate test of his devotion. It’ll prove not only how loyal he is to her but how far he’ll go for her. Chloe likes pushing people, especially men, even sweet ones like Juyeon. She figures she likes them more when they’re sweet like she’s preparing them for how cruel and harsh the world is, something she wished someone had done to her before she collided with Hyojin.

Often, there are days when Chloe sits in her room and stares at the floor, remembering who she used to be. People talk about the person Chloe once was with sorrow, mourning her despite her still being alive. Chloe was sweet, Chloe was kind, and Chloe had a light inside her that burned brighter than a thousand sunsets, but that Chloe died in a field at the hands of several men who didn’t care how hard she cried and pleaded for them to stop touching her. That Chloe was so decomposed by this point she was not even bones; she was nothing but dust in the dirt, waiting to be blown away by a gust of wind that never came.

Chloe puts out a pink boxcutter to Juyeon, pushing up the blade with her thumb, filling the room with several clicking sounds. She raises her brows at him, smiling warmly at Juyeon’s widened gaze on the blade in her hand.

“I want my name on you.”

Juyeon takes a deep breath through his nose, shaky and uncertain, before his gaze lifts to Chloe’s face. He still looks like a dumb dog to her, eyes wide and full of something Chloe can’t pinpoint, but she thinks it’s fear. It feels like she’s holding her breath in the best way, her head feeling light and her stomach in the tightest knots. She raises her brows at his look, letting out a hum of disappointment that makes Juyeon quickly shake his head before she can even voice any discontentment. 

“Where? Where do you want your name?” His words are choppy, overthinking each one as his eyes dart around before deciding to settle on the carpet where Chloe stood. Chloe smiles, striding towards him, causing Juyeon to lean back slightly to stay out of reach of the blade. Chloe’s dark brown eyes scan Juyeon’s body, taking in his near-perfect posture. Her eyes linger over his chest, puckering her lips as her gaze rakes over his arms like he’s a piece of meat she’s inspecting at the market for dinner. 

Chloe jabs a pink polished nail into his bicep, nodding as an excited smile grows on her lips. Juyeon’s head follows her finger, thick lips curling in, but he says nothing. Slowly, he reaches for the box cutter in Chloe’s hand. Chloe can see his hand shaking as it extends in midair, reaching to meet hers. Her eyes widen in excitement, flicking up to watch his face as he wraps his hand tightly around the tool.

Chloe knows he doesn’t want to do this. She can see it on his face, how his body tensed, and how hesitant he is to roll up his sleeve, but she doesn’t care. 

The first cut is too shallow for Chloe. He barely breaks the skin but still hisses at the sensations. Blood barely beads from the cat's scratch, making Chloe shake her head disapprovingly.

“Don’t be a bitch about it,” Chloe tells him gruffly, grabbing the hair at the crown of Juyeon’s head, shaking him by it as if to physically shake out the worries and doubts filling his head. Juyeon lets out a pathetic sound that Chloe can’t decipher if it’s a moan or not. Either way, she smirks, letting go of his hair to smack the side of his head like she’s hitting a beach ball. “Do it right. I want to see you bleed. That’s the point. You’re supposed to prove how much you like me–”

“I love you,” Juyeon corrects, breathing heavier than Chloe thinks he should, so she smacks the other side of his head, laughing at how he just takes it, moving in every direction Chloe pushes and pulls him. Chloe coos at his whiny words, grabbing him by the hair again and pulling his head back to look up at her as she leans closer to him. He smells like oranges and cedar. It makes Chloe hum, tracing the bridge of his nose with the tip of hers. 

“Then prove it,” She whispers, pulling his head back with a final tug before letting go of him. She stands in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest in refusal to touch him until he gives her what she wants.

Chloe proves to be a bloody name to spell into the skin.

Blood drips and pours from the cuts on Juyeon’s bicep, running down his forearm and tangling in the hair. The arm with her name now forever etched into it twitches and shakes as she runs a wet washrag over the wound. He takes shaky breaths with every swipe, eyes wet and dripping with tears that run down his high cheekbones. Chloe thinks he looks cute like this, a gentle smile on her lips as she tends to his wound. There’s blood on her sheets, but Chloe doesn’t care. There’s a sick sense of pleasure winding inside her at the sight of the crimson staining her once spotless pink sheets. They’re now like her, she thinks, like Juyeon too. Juyeon is forever marked with her, a mark he can never get rid of even if he tries. 

He’s tainted. No one wanted tainted meat.

Chloe leans in to kiss the side of his head, feeling Juyeon lean into her touch almost instantly. He keeps leaning in, ducking his head down to rest on her chest with tightly shut eyes as his not-injured arm wraps around her waist to keep her close. Chloe smiles at that, running a hand through his silky black hair.

“I love you, Juyeon,” Chloe tells him because she knows he wants to hear it. She isn’t sure if she really does love him, more so she’s obsessed with him but not like he is with her. Juyeon moans quietly into her skin at her words, holding her waist tighter before loosening his hold. Chloe looks down at him before turning her head to look at his arm.

He’s still bleeding. Chloe figures it won’t stop until she puts a bandage on it. She stares at the cuts, a dull buzzing taking over her body as she reaches out and swipes her finger across the cuts, pressing down so the skin drags and rips further beneath her touch. Juyeon groans, wincing against her, but doesn’t lift his head, wanting to stay as close to her as possible. Chloe looks at the blood covering the tip of her finger, tilting her head at it like she’s never seen anything like it before. She presses the digit on the pad of her tongue, dragging it down to clean herself of Juyeon’s blood, leaving a streak of red behind. 

Chloe hums at the taste, puckering her lips as she thinks about what to compare him to. He tastes sweet but metallic, reminding her of a not-yet-ripe grapefruit.

“So sweet,” Chloe hums, rubbing Juyeon’s back as a reward. Juyeon lifts his head just a bit to press into her neck, taking a deep breath, causing goosebumps to rise on Chloe’s arms. “You really would do anything for me, wouldn’t you?”

Juyeon only nods, the wetness of his face smudging against the skin of Chloe’s neck. Chloe’s eyes stare ahead of her, smiling as her fingers card through the man’s dark hair, soothing him and her. She pulls back, taking his strong jawline in her hands. Juyeon’s eyes are wet, still dripping with tears, but he looks at Chloe with unwavering love and devotion. She smiles at him like nothing is awry, leaning down to press her forehead to his.

“I love you, Juju. So good to me,” Chloe whispers, nuzzling her nose against him, watching as his eyes shut in bliss while a tear rolls down his cheek. Chloe thinks he’s had enough for one night, earning what he’s probably been dreaming about for years. She dips her head down, pressing her lips to his gently for a moment before pressing deeper, hearing a moan leave his throat and vibrate against her lips as she does so. The kiss is warm and still, Juyeon barely moving an inch as Chloe presses her chest against his for a second then pulls back, a small smacking sound filling the room.

Juyeon looks up at Chloe with hazy eyes, blinking up at her like she’s some kind of magical being that shouldn’t be visible to the human eye. He reaches up, holding her cheek in his hand with the arm that now has her name engrained forever. Her breathing catches, looking down at Juyeon with wide eyes. She expects violence, prepping for a strike that never comes. Instead, his thumb runs over her cheekbone and then drags down to run across her plump bottom lip. Juyeon could overpower her if he wanted to. Most people could. Chloe is small and frail, her hands bony and real nails brittle. It’s always been hard for her to put on weight, but that’s not a real issue in the industry in which she works. Juyeon isn’t violent, though. There’s not even anger in his gaze, only love.

“Anything for my Chloe,” Juyeon whispers like an oath. Chloe hated admitting it, but her heart skipped a beat at that, her hands delicately resting on his bicep. Her eyes fall down to the bloodied mess on the inside of Juyeon’s arm, rubbing her lips together at the messy sight before looking back at his face. She doesn’t say anything, only leans in and kisses his lips again. He tilts his head up to return the kiss, initiating a deepening, but Chloe pulls back before either of them can.

“Need to bandage you up,” Chloe hums, kissing his cheek as a parting gift as she moves off the bed to get the first aid kid from the same desk she got the boxcutter from. Even now, there’s a smile on her face.

A new fundraiser has just been started to help a Sudanese health clinic.

As the rainy season starts, there's an increased risk from diseases like cholera and malaria. This clinic will be the only available health resource for 60,000 households.

The people behind it are very trustworthy, they've already been setting up gofundmes for food and healthcare in other places in Sudan.

I've tried to kick things off and I hope those that can't donate will help boost.

Edit: link to the actual gofundme, d'oh!

gofundme.com

Donate to Urgent Funds for Camp's Only Operational Clinic, organized by Mohammed Ahmed

As we enter the rainy season, our healthcare facilities face unique cha… Mohammed Ahmed needs your support for Urgent Funds for Camp's Only