Aesthetekids:

aesthetekids​:

angelo lets out a huff of laughter when he hears seongmin’s comment , lips curved upwards in a smile and eyes looking at the other with fondness and appreciation . despite the outcome , he never expected this welcome gift from the other and the thought that seongmin wanted to do this for him was sweet . he lingers towards the other slowly before wrapping both arms around his waist . “ hey , it’s okay . it’s cute that you did this for me , thanks seongmin . ” he assures giving a warm smile ; not liking the hint of disappointment in the other’s tone . “ do you want to try again ? i’ll help you — we can make it a bonding activity . ” angelo suggests , cracking a lazy smile at the other .

the   arms   around   his   waist   bring   him   out   of   his   short   lived   funk,   bright,   big   doe   eyes   dart   from   the   ground   to   angelo’s,   cheeks   turning   the   faintest   bit   of   pink.   with   their   arms   around   his   neck,   fingers   slide   into   the   ends   of   his   hair.   ‘   i’m   glad   you   don’t   see   it   as   a   total   failure,   i   did   try   my   best.   however,   my   best   apparently   is   not   good   enough   for   myself.   ’   there’s   a   hint   of   a   teasing   tone   in   their   voice,   he   quickly   adds,   ‘   a   bonding   activity?   you   honestly   don’t   have   to   ask   me   more   than   once,   i   would   love   to.   perhaps   you   can   show   me   where   i’ve   gone   wrong?   ’   there’s   a   look   of   hope   and   wonder   now   in   seongmin’s   eyes,   the   corners   of   their   lips   curl   into   a   smile.   

i’m not ignoring anyone, i’m not feeling good and i’m extremely stressed out. i have every reply and starter in my drafts. i will be getting to them soon. please, please be patient.

Mary Ruefle, from Trances of the Blast; “New Morning”

springddays​:

as   he   waited,   he   thought   about   the   text   he   received,   the   one   that   had   brought   him   here   in   the   first   place.   words   twisting   in   his   heart   and   causing   him   to   break   out   in   a   sweat   in   the   middle   of   the   night,   the   thin   fabric   of   his   shirt   sticking   to   his   skin.   that   feeling   was   still   rooted   deep,   even   more   so   after   coming   face-to-face   with   junghyun.   legs   spread,   seated   on   the   couch,   he   pulled   out   his   phone,   light   illuminating   his   face.   conversation   still   open,   hyeon   gnawed   on   his   bottom   lip,   a   fresh   knife   carving   a   wound   into   his   already-worried   soul,   stomach   squeezing   and   flipping   in   fear.   something   was   amiss   and   while   he   understood   there   had   been   no   ill   intentions   between   either   party,   it   didn’t   defuse   how   he   felt,   it   didn’t   take   away   the   burning   emotion   that   something   was   very   very   wrong.   the   question   brought   him   out   of   his   mind,   phone   back   in   his   pocket   as   he   took   the   steaming   mug   from   junghyun.   “i’m   fine.   i   was   fine   until   i   woke   up   to   your   text.”   his   skin   welcomed   the   heat,   scent   of   fresh   tea   wafting   up   into   his   nose.   “only   okay   if   you   are.   if   it   was   a   bad   dream,   you   can   trust   me   with   it.   they   say   it’s   better   to   let   things   out,   even   a   nightmare,   than   bottle   it   in.”

the   comment   made   nearly   causes   them   to   drop   their   mug,   the   burning   from   it   scalds   their   hands,   and   though   this   would   normally   hurt,   junghyun’s   anxiety   takes   place   of   it.   setting   down   the   mug,   he   stirs   at   it   nervously,   body   closing   in   on   himself,   an   attempt   to   make   himself   smaller,   more   protected.   he’s   forgotten   how   direct   hyeon   can   be,   and   how   he   won’t   let   things   just   go.   part   of   him   wants   to   spill   his   guts   to   the   other,   but   anytime   that   he   has,   whether   it   be   a   family   member   or   a   friend,   it’s   not   ended   well.   there   wasn’t   room   for   any   lovers,   though   they   know   they’d   shut   them   out   as   well.   ‘   i   didn’t   mean   to   upset   you,   i’m   truly   sorry,   i   have   very   vivid   dreams   and   sometimes   .   .   .   ’   he’s   not   even   gotten   to   the   pit   of   his   problems,   or   fears   ;   while   he’s   this   upset   and   already,   junghyun   begins   to   cry.   silently,   thankful   for   the   darkness   of   the   hour.   ‘   sometimes   they   vivid   enough   that   i   can’t   decipher   what’s   real   and   what’s   not.   ’   hands   grab   themselves,   lacing   fingers   of   his   own   that   now   rest   in   their   lap.   at   first   he   tries   eye   contact,   but   it’s   far   too   much   so   he   look   away,   out   into   the   span   of   the   living   area.   ‘   i   keep   having   this   recurring   nightmare,   where   i’m   in   a   dark   room.   possible   a   stage?   i   don’t   know.   i   can   hear   water   dripping   .   .   .   ’   as   if   on   cue,   he   hears   the   running   of   his   sink.   a   small   shudder   leaves   his   body.   ‘   there’s   a   small   crowd,   but   they   surround   me   to   the   point   of   suffocation.   sometimes   i’m   sleeping,   sometimes   i   just   stand   there   and   cry.   most   times   i’m   .   .   .   dancing,   ’   this   part   is   particularly   rough   for   him   to   speak   out   loud,   but   he’s   gotten   this   far   and   he   knows   he   can’t   stop.   it   pours   out   of   him,   just   as   like   his   tears.   ‘   the   crowd   is   pleased,   at   first.   they   cheer   me   on.   but   something   changes   halfway   through,   their   faces   .   .   .   slowly   become   almost   non-human.   they   scream,   reach   out   to   grab   me   and   the   room   gets   smaller,   and   smaller,   i   can’t   breathe   and   i   don’t   move,   ’   junghyun’s   body   is   shaking,   so   much   so   that   it   pulls   him   from   his   trance.   without   warning   and   without   thinking,   he   runs   over   to   hyeon   and   buries   his   face   into   their   chest,   a   loud,   shrieking   cry   fills   the   air   between   them   and   he   can’t   stop.

anti-rcmantic​:

“ oh , come on ! they don’t look that bad at all ! “ always positive, always cheerful – jae shoots one of his signature toothy grins in seongmin’s direction as reassurance to his words. “ seongminnnn … “ his tone is playfully whiney and a slight pout forms on his lips. “ you don’t have to apologize ! really , it’s not a big deal at all .  like … i don’t think anyone’s ever even attempted to cook for me before – it’s sweet . “ he nods, “ plus ! you know what they say … it’s the thought that counts , right ? … hm – why don’t we just … “ the slightly smaller male trails off as he slides over and opens the stainless steel fridge. “ aha ! look , there’s plenty of stuff here ! we can cook something else , together . what do you say ? “

seongmin’s   hands   remove   from   his   face,   revealing   the   bright   red   shade   that   has   taken   home   against   the   apples   of   their   cheeks.   the   cheerfulness   coming   from   jae   wasn’t   surprising,   he’s   normally   like   this,   though   there’s   always   a   part   of   them   that   wonders   what   he’s   liked   when   he’s   alone.   ‘   no   one   has   cooked   for   you   before,   and   the   one   time   they   do,   it’s   fucked   up.   how   shitty,   am   i   right?   ’   they   give   a   teasing   tone,   shoulders   finally   laxing   when   they   feel   more   at   ease.   ‘   you   know   what?   i   don’t   know   why   i   didn’t   think   of   doing   that   instead.   together,   yeah?   ’   just   the   thought   of   creating   something,   anything,   even   if   it’s   food—   brings   the   utmost   feeling   of   joy   to   seongmin’s   bones.   he   joins   the   other   at   the   fridge,   scanning   the   ingredients.   ‘   does   anything   come   to   mind?   that   i   won’t   fuck   up?   ’

🌸✨