Anyways Autistic Megatron

Anyways autistic Megatron

Destroying stuff is his stim

Like he really enjoys crushing plastic, metal and all that shit

It feels very good to him

When Starscream takes control of the Nemesis, it's because half of the time Megatron just. Can't do anything for the time being

He spends at least once every week just. lying on the floor

After lunch, it's floor time bitches

Interrupt his floor time and you get a laser to the spark

Is he really really good at his speeches still? Yes

But get him to do small talk and he is. The worst at talking

The speeches comes from his heart, actual talking really doesn't

One things he likes about human culture are those stimboard moodboards

The mines were far more acceptful of stims, no-one really cared and they probably stimmed with him

But the gladiator pits meant the higher ups were watching him, so he couldn't stim as much

Even if he hates it, he can't help but repress his stims in fear of being punished

The only person he can do it freely to is Soundwave <3

He finds out about Autism Speaks and immediately the place is burned down <3

He had enough shit on Cybertron, and even if Earth is not his favourite planet in the world, he is not gonna let them deal with the same shit he had to

His feelings on eye contact regularly changes

One some days, he is staring right at you and making Starscream feel very threatened

Sometimes, he will not look at you and Starscream becomes worried he did something wrong

You know all of that really rich food??? Like, rich in texture??? Yeah he hates that

He has that tendency to scrape his hands over Bad Feeling Surface and then the bad Feeling is in his teeth

His claws just make it worse for him

Pls let him crack his joints

He probably has a few comfort toys from some friends in the mines and by Soundwave

wings are so fucking cool imagine being able to just move part of your body and fly up into the sky whenever you wanted. i'm normal about this. no i'm not i wish i was a dragon.

Random Things that have been said in Soul Society

This is 100% #troof

Captian please put on your pants!! -Nanao-

You know you're the reason why we can't have nice things? -Hitsugaya-

Oh for the love of God! Will you stop eating my food!!! -Rangiku to her breasts-

Fuck!! -Kenpachi-

Oh my God Lieutenant! Spit that out!! -Yumichika-

Inform Squad 12 that they are not entitled to more recruits than any other squad. Also please tell Captian Mayuri that when asking for extra recruits he shouldn't ask for and I quote "request for more test subjects recruits. My other ones have died" -Head Captian Yamamoto-

I think I killed another house plant. -Ukitake-

I think I killed another recruit -Mayuri-

I am uncomfortable with how comfortable you are with sleeping in a closet. -Byakuya-

Sir please don't drink from there. -Iba-

I'm a big brave boy, I'm a big brave boy!! -Kira-

Ghaaaa~ -Momo after be stabbed by yet another sword and somehow living through it AGAIN-

I'm sorry, you stuck what up where? -Unohana-

ummmm yeahhh :)

i want to make a fanart for this so badly but i dont know how to draw digitally

Summary: just tommy boy jerking it

disclaimers: masturbating, dirty talk

————————————————

Tom stroked himself rapidly, a grin forming on his sweaty face. His trousers were barely off due to the immediate desperation of needing to touch himself. Right now his mind was filled with thoughts of you. 

“Oh, Christ.” He moaned, his state of bliss overwhelming him. What he wouldn’t give to bend you over his bed and fuck you till you were begging him to stop, till you couldn’t take it anymore. “Such a good little whore. Taking all of my cock.”

Tom pleasured himself to the thought of you more times than he would like to admit, but merlin, you just made him feel so goddamn good. Sometimes he wished you would walk in on him doing it, just to see you so flustered. It made him so aroused. He whimpered as he hit a good spot, causing his hips to jerk up and his eyes to flutter, and after taking a second to recover from that moment he continued. 

He was getting close as his moans left his mouth more often. “Oh Y/N. Fuck, darling.” His cock was twitching in his hand, but instead imagining that it was your hand that was making him feel so glorious. “Merlin, you’re being so good for me.” He groaned. He was at his edge. 

“Cum on my cock, angel. Cum on daddy’s cock like a good girl.” He choked out as he came, it spurting out and running down his cock and then fingers. It felt so good he couldn’t even speak, just clench his cock with a still trembling hand as his orgasm finished. 

　　　　　𝙃𝙊𝙐𝙎𝙀 𝙃𝙐𝘽𝘽𝙔

　　　TFP! MEGATRON x female reader

　『　megatron ,, some random kid 』

　-> megatron goes to the grocery store

　— fluff ,, sfw

　— this is just a silly little series of megatron being a house husband

　＜　two ,, three ,, four ,, five ,, six ＞

list in his servo, the warlord glared at the bright red letters above the building. "SUPERMARKET" it had read, letters big as though they were shouting at him. he never liked going to the store, no matter how much he needed to go. he growled to himself and began his walk into the store. he grabbed the nearest shopping, making his way down the first aisle. he never liked the strange stares people would give him, especially since he had tried to kill the entire human race before.

he grabbed the items needed from their places on the shelf, placing them in the cart in an orderly manner. he kept to himself, only wanting to make the trip as quick as he possibly could. he didn't want to be around for too long, only having enough self-control to keep his intake shut for so long. more people went fish-eyed when he walked towards the frozen meats section, as though he were shopping for people to eat instead of the ground beef he had picked up.

however, when a certain song came onto the speakers, one he was too familiar with, he couldn't stop the low and gruff hum that he had tuned. most would mistake him for growling, if they hadn't known him so well. and that is what most people did. assume he was growling at them. he wondered why humans couldn't just accept him now. he's redeemed himself many times. helping out in the neighborhood with things, thrown parties to fit in with human traditions.

he's been to this same supermarket for many times and hasn't even hurt a single person. it was insane how they all cowered away from him, pushing their carts away. the only humans that really ever enjoyed his presence were his wife, and children. his wife was for obvious reasons. she had seen past his facade of being the warlord he showed, and instead sought for the lonely poetic lover inside of him. few managed to see that side of him. children only liked him because he was different, not human, and very tall. though his digits were sharp and pointy, children loved to be held by him.

which had soon grown into a love for the small humans. he kept thinking about how he had wanted one, but his wife had said 'no', much to his dismay. though he wouldn't force her to do anything that she didn't wish for. he couldn't ever think about such things. it would hurt his spark.

as megatron walked up to the cashiers, he mentally groaned at the long lines. this quick trip would take longer than he had wanted. much longer than he wished. which would mean that he would have to endure more people gawking at him. he had the urge to growl at such unluckiness, until a little kid had walked over to him.

big green eyes stared wide in adoration and wonder, as megatron's own red optics stared back. confusion grew over him, of who's kid this was and what he was doing around the warlord. "excuse me, mister or, um, ma'am," the kid had grabbed onto his servo, surprising megatron. "i need help finding my mommy. i lost her in the store and now i dont know where she is." his lip trembled into a small pout.

oh how megatron's spark ached at the sight. a helpless child coming to him for help. and with those big green eyes, he just couldn't resist. megatron sighed before nodding, "not to worry," he said, voice gruff but soft to soothe the child, "i'll assist you in finding your mother."

and that is where the shenanigans had begun. the child running through the aisles and around megatron himself, trying to find his mother. he had spewed random nonsense, of which megatron hadn't really cared to remember. he only let the child talk, humming in response and grabbing items that were on sale. he did enjoy the child's company, which was rare as parents wouldn't let their kids around him. but when children do occasionally come near, his spark tightens in his chassis, how brave they are and how gentle they can be.

"and than, i went pew pew, and they were all, like, aHHh!!!" he giggled as he recovered his most recent dream. "it was so fun! but then i had to wake up." his lips formed a pout, eyes staring up at megatron. the cybertronian only nodded, taking note of the few bits he had tuned in. "interesting," was all that he had said. the kid's lips reformed themselves into a bright smile, skipping alongside the aisle. "so, what do you do, sir?" he asked, gazing around at the different cereal flavors that had passed by.

"nothing, i stay at home." megatron replied, grabbing a certain brand he knew his wife had liked. "lucky, i have to go to school, so i can't stay at home." the kid giggled, before something caught his eye. he stopped, frozen in place as he looked around. "hey, mister? can we go over there?" he pointed to another aisle, "i think i just saw my mom." megatron had nodded before taking his cart down the next aisle, the kid following along. and he was sure right. his mom stood there, gazing at different pasta brands and talking to someone on her phone. it would have seemed that the kid had slipped away when she was looking around, and got lost.

said child had ran to his mom, surprising her as he hugged her side. he started to blabber again, megatron not paying attention. scarred lips turned up in a smile, and optics dimming as he stared at the two. the mother gave a quick 'thank you' for returning her child, before continuing along. megatron could feel his spark tighten, hoping that one day, he too, could have a child. someone to care for and love, to watch grow up and teach.

megatron had soon turned his cart around and headed back towards the front part of the store. once getting to the cashiers, he groaned to himself at how much longer the lines had gotten. maybe he would be here for more then what he had planned.

Just imagine Tom taking Divination to see what the future would hold for him and the image of Harry appears in the crystal ball weilding the Hallows and he just assumes "Ah yes, my soul mate." While his Death Eaters are pointing at the grim in the tea leafs "He is going to kill you Tom" "Nonsense. He is my future husband" "Tom everything that involves him shows your end" "He'll make a fine life partner "

Tom: I love him

Everyone: my Lord...pls...he will kill you

Tom: nothing can stop true love

Everyone: we literally just watched you die...multiple times to the same kid

Tom: he's tenacious, I like that in a man

Everyone: Tom...no...

Tom: Tom YES