The Secondhand Embarrassment Is Too Real (transl. BTStranslation_)

the secondhand embarrassment is too real (transl. BTStranslation_)

what’s your Spotify top track and 100th track 👀

tea for two  ;  kth

SUMMARY: Taehyung is keeping a secret from you and has been acting suspicious for a while. Can you really trust him or is it time to break things off?

―  POV: reader  ―  PAIRING: taehyung x reader. ―  RATING: m (18+), minors dni. ―  WORD COUNT: 3,732 words ―  GENRE/AU: one-shot, romance, established relationship, angst, fluff. ―  CONTENT WARNING: explicit language, suspected cheating, heated arguments, taehyung all secretive whats that all about, very emotional.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: my very first fic AAAAAAAA im kind of proud of this one but also super nervous lol i hope y’all like it! happy december 2nd everybody! also i’m new to using people’s personal tags, so if any of y’all know if there are more tags to be a menace to society in pls lmk thanks c:  if you like it pls consider reblogging as it helps show support<3 

BETA READER/S: @kookimonster​  ( i hope you know you owe me 27 words )

Maybe this was it. This was how it ended. A four year long relationship with the most beautiful man you’d ever laid your eyes upon. You should’ve known he’d be nothing but a heartbreak in disguise.

“I’m literally not jealous!” you spoke with that very same denied jealousy spilling over, increasing the volume of your voice. Desperately searching through your makeup bag to find.. something, anything that could distract you and act as an excuse not to look at him. Not like you’d seen much of him these past couple of weeks anyway. Something was off. You could feel it so deeply and truly in your heart that you could choke on pure emotion. 

“Sure,” Taehyung said sarcastically from the opposite side of the room, “You don’t seem jealous at all. My bad.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? I am not fucking jealous.”

“Oh, come on. You really think you can fool me? You’re a terrible liar.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe you should get off your high horse,” you aimed your words right back at him, keeping your glance fixated on the makeup bag. Hands still fiddling through the beauty products. There was a brief pause in the verbal combat you found yourself in. It almost gave you enough time to regret your indication of a superiority complex in Taehyung. You knew there’d never been such in him, but the words had been said. It was out there now. You had to just roll with it, be stubborn, be strong. 

“My high horse?” Taehyung expressed genuine confusion, “It’s you who refuses to tell me what the fuck is going on!”

This is when it escalated within you. Your heart beating faster, your cheeks getting warmer. This really wasn’t the time to start up a big argument. You had to be at his parents house in a couple of hours meaning you’d have to leave in just about 10 minutes. That wasn’t nearly enough time to confront him about his dishonest behaviour lately. He’d been texting her a lot, back and forth, emojis galore. He’d been meeting up with her.. At a coffee shop, he’d said. Sure. He’d even turned down a night out with his best friends. Suspicious.

“You are literally so stupid, Tae! So fucking stupid!” your voice cracked at the end of the sentence, revealing how fragile and weak you felt in this moment. You heard a frustrated sigh.

“Babe, please…” he softened up a bit.

“I really don’t wanna discuss this shit right now,” you brushed him off and grabbed a boring pink-ish lipstick to put on in a couple of swipes, pressing your lips together briefly, “Come on, we’re gonna be late.” You finally looked over at Taehyung.

Everything about him was perfect. Head to toe gorgeous, solid income, always one of the best dressed men in the room, and he loved you. Or so you’d thought. His brows were slanted downwards, eyes big and pleading. Looking guilty, in your opinion. Your eyes began to sting at the very back. Poor Jimin.

“Baby…” he breathed, voice soft and timid.

You exhaled. “Let’s just go.”

It had been difficult. Sitting there at the dinner table at his parents house, having to pretend everything was fine, being reminded of the dreams you’d shared nothing but a few months back. They’d teased you two, asking when you’d be tying the knot, and poked at Taehyung about why he hadn’t gotten down on one knee yet. Back then you’d just laughed it off, saying that you loved each other no matter if there were rings involved or not… but the sex that night had been more intimate and meaningful than before, and you knew. You both knew that this was the real deal, that you wanted what had been left unspoken. What had been merely hinted at in cheeky glances lovingly given to each other. There was no doubt in your mind that this is where you wanted to be; right there in his arms.

But that was in the past. Now you were sat in a car barely acknowledging one another, falling apart in deafening silence. There was nothing you wanted more in this world than to go back to when everything was good. Back to when you didn’t know what you knew now.

It was quiet the entire ride home. Not even the radio was on. Nothing but the sound of rain gently drumming on the roof of the car, and your heart shattered painfully slowly with every passing second. On paper it sounded like just another trip to the in-laws, eating a delicious dinner, chatting about daily life, and driving home again afterwards… but it wasn’t. The freezing cold air pierced at your skin as you exited the car. It was dark out already. December had never been generous with warmth nor light. Snow creaked underneath your feet as you walked up towards the apartment complex, failing to wait for your boyfriend to join you, missing his hand in yours but simultaneously hating the thought. 

Without sharing a single word, Taehyung met you at the front door and you went inside together. Shoes off, coats off.

“We, um…” Taehyung awkwardly attempted to start the conversation, “We should talk about what happened today.” 

Your heart sank. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“How about you actually start telling me what’s happening? Why are you so hostile with me all of a sudden? What have I done?” he bombarded you with questions, leaving you feeling despondent. 

“I think you know,” you dryly responded.

“See, but baby I don’t. That’s why I’m asking you.”

Feeling deprived of energy and any desire to continue this discussion, you simply shook your head at his antics, turning around on your heel heading for the living room. Taehyung followed suit.

“Why are you shaking your had at me? Baby, what did I do?” he sounded so genuine, but you knew better. He couldn’t expect you to not see through his little act of being oh so oblivious.

“What did you do?” you asked before turning around sharply, shooting daggers at him with your gaze. Taehyung stopped in his tracks. “Are you kidding me, Tae?”

Visibly confused he frowned. “No?”

You felt your jaw drop and with it hanging onto dear life from the disbelief, a smile formed upon your lips. The audacity this man had. “Um, does Yumi ring a bell?” you finally spoke up, Taehyung’s expression neutralising upon realising what this was about, “I know you’ve been texting. I have seen your phone light up from all those little notifications. She even sent you a ring emoji at some point? And Jimin had like sent some text I think, asking you if you’d fallen off the face of the earth or something like that. Do you think I’m stupid? Do you really think that I don’t know cheating when I see it?”

“Babe, stop it,” Taehyung harshly reacted when cheating was brought up.

“Did I stutter? She’s your best friend’s girlfriend, Tae! What the fuck!” you involuntarily raised your voice at him, feeling your insides twisting and turning, the knot in your stomach getting tighter and greater. You knew it was a matter of mere moments before it’d let go and you’d lose your battle against remaining stoic towards the pain.

“What? I know she’s my best friend’s girlfriend. Who do you think I am?” the volume of his voice matching yours.

“You’re not even denying it!”

“Fucking hell. No! No. No. No. I am not cheating on you,” he scattered his words all around, seeming messy and desperate, “Now how’s that for denying it?”

“How’s that for denying it? What are you, twelve?” you mocked his choice of words. This was getting out of hand, you were well aware of it, but there was anger inside of you that you needed to let out. A hurt you didn’t know what to do with. “I literally caught you, Tae.”

“Oh my god…” he mumbled to himself. Rude.

“You’ve had all the time in the world to tell me what’s going on, but you chose not to.”

“I can’t,” he sighed.

“You can’t? Or you won’t?” you challenged him, feeling more than fed up with his avoidant behaviour at this point and feeling your emotions clump in your chest. Eyes not leaving your boyfriend, you took him in; he seemed nervous, worried, maybe even a little hopeless. Was he gonna confess? After all, he couldn’t keep his act up for much longer. Only a fool would let their pride get in the way of being truthful. Surely he wasn’t that stubborn.

“I can’t.”

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. That was it. The last drop that proved too much for you and you felt your bottom lip start to tremble.

“I know how it sounds, but I promise you it’s not what it looks like.”

You scoffed at him. In complete disbelief and shock. ‘Not what it looks like’ was the very thing people said, when it was exactly what it looked like. You knew this. You’d dealt with cheaters before saying the same thing, and they’d all been lying.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me… I really never thought-”

Your sentence was cut short by an unexpected sob clutching your throat. Instinctively you hurried your hands up to your face, covering it, hiding it. Hiding your pain, the hurt, the harm. Another sob choked by your hands, tears building up in your eyes at an alarming rate, the simplest task of breathing felt impossible. 

“Babe, I haven’t. I’m telling you,” he tried.

“Just shut up,” you sobbed, removing your hands and trying your best to steady your breathing, “I need to go.”

“What?” Taehyung’s voice sounded so small.

“I need to get out of here and just.. go for a walk or something, I don’t know,” your glance landed on your shoes in the entrance and you immediately walked towards them. You needed space. Lots of it.

“I’m-.. You’ll come back, right?”

You didn’t respond. Your only goal right now was to put on those shoes and leave.

“Babe?” he followed you out of the living room, “Babe, don’t do this. Please. I can’t. It’d just ruin everything.”

Another wave of tears were coming. Oh, he dared to speak as though being honest would ruin anything. As if his unfaithful ways hadn’t already wrecked everything. Trying to pin it on you, huh? Zoned out, you felt your head softly shake at his words. Disapproving of them. 

“I promised her I wouldn’t say anything. What do you want me to do?” he begged.

“Whatever,” you said and opened the door, “Let me leave.”

Slam.

The cold wind was ripping through your clothes, closing itself around your limbs, creating an army of goosebumps all over your skin. Snow was gathering on your shoes, the melted seeping through and soaking your socks. It was oddly peaceful. Not a single person in sight, not a single footprint in the snow that painted everything pristine white. It left you with plenty of room to collect yourself and deal with all that was going on inside you. What a pleasant surprise it was that the freezing cold helped you strip away any anxiety or fear, leaving you with nothing but the very core.

Was this really it? Was this really how it ended? A four year long relationship with the most beautiful man you’d ever laid your eyes upon. Perhaps you should’ve listened to him. He did beg for you to listen and you’d rejected him. Could there really be more to this story? More often than not it was a clear cut case. People lied to each other every day. Breaking trust, breaking hearts. Why should Taehyung be any different than any of the ones that came before him?

You wrapped your coat tighter around your body, starting to regret having gone for this silly walk. Your phone vibrated in your pocket for the 100th time, yet you did nothing to pick it up. You had no idea how long you’d been out in the snowy winter night, but your fingers gave you a clue. Fingers more like icicles at this point. The wind got stronger, playing with your hair, gently pushing you, warning you, telling you to go back home. Curling your shoulders up to your ears, you tried to shield yourself a little more from the crispy cold wind, but to no avail. Stubborn and protective of your trust, you kept arguing with yourself, not knowing whether to keep walking or turn around and go home. You wanted to feel warm again. Safe and comfortable.

And that’s when you saw it. A car that very much looked like Taehyung’s, same colour and everything. Forced to squint your eyes at the thousands of snowflakes coming your way in full force, you didn’t even bother trying to see who was behind the wheel. A sliver of hope appeared in your chest, wishing for it to be Tae.

Alas, the car passed you.

You missed him. Didn’t wanna be apart, didn’t wanna break up. You didn’t want any of this to be happening. Eyes watering, you found temporary comfort in the past. Back to when you’d first met him. You’d felt so confident, so independent. Like you didn’t need no man. Having just gotten out of a long string of terrible relationships with terrible people, one more toxic than the other, you had fully decided to not fall in love again. It had been going really well. You were advancing in your career, catching up with friends, going harder in the gym, you’d even gotten around to start a new hobby. With so much time to yourself, you’d honestly almost felt a sense of relief and freedom not having to be tied down and devoted to anyone but yourself.

All he did was crack a couple of jokes, ask about your day, and buy you a donut… Apparently that was all it took. A sob stumbled out of you. No, of course that wasn’t all. ‘Cause he’d shown you respect. Been patient. Understanding. He’d not just told you, but shown you that there wasn’t anything wrong with you. You weren’t unworthy of happiness or unlovable. You’d been too trusting of the wrong people, but he told you that you weren’t wrong or bad or stupid for putting your trust in others. The only ones wrong and bad and stupid were those who took advantage of that. And he’d said your name so overly cutely you’d laughed.

“Baby!” A voice you’d recognise anywhere boomed from behind you.

You turned around and him, he, your lover, your heart, your only wish came running to you. Thoroughly frozen, you walked towards him. You couldn’t run. Your feet were far too numb for that.

“Where’ve you been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” he sounded so worried, so concerned, and without hesitation, without thinking twice he threw his arms around you in such a warm embrace you only just now realised how dreadfully cold you were.

“God, you’re like ice,” he said and pulled back only enough so that he could look at you, the wind howling in your ears, “Let’s go home, okay? I promise I’ll explain everything. I don’t wanna break up. I wanna work this out.. okay?”

One of his strong hands held your cheek. You almost melted to the touch.

You nodded. “Okay.”

Warm water surrounded your ice blocks for feet, pushing a satisfied exhale up and out of your lungs. Your fingers were still tingling, stinging, and starting to swell up a bit. You’d been out there for longer than you thought. Three hours just walking around, ignoring his calls, lost in thought. Now here you were, in your kitchen, sitting on one of the dining chairs enjoying a foot bath and wrapped in a fleece blanket. Light jazz playing at a low volume. A serene moment in time.

“Want some tea?” he asked, face still heavy with everything you had said to him.

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, “Thank you.”

It was calm. His tall posture standing by the kitchen counter, preparing tea for you both. Two cups, two spoons, two sugars. Like he’d done so many times before when you were sharing relaxing nights indoors, whether it be the most modest of tuesday evenings or a saturday with last minute cancelled plans. The muted sound of water filling up each cup, it hugged your soul. This was your happy place.. You wished with all your heart that his explanation was a good one.

“Here you go,” Tae placed your cup filled to the brim in front of you.

“Thanks,” you muttered, not grabbing it just yet. The translucent steam still ascending from the cup. You had to wait a little, but maybe that was okay too. Taehyung sat down close to you.

“So, um..” he awkwardly started out, his long fingers fiddling with the handle on his own cup, but his eyes never leaving you, “I haven’t told you, ‘cause I promised Yumi not to say anything to anybody.” Your ears perked up, anxious to hear what this whole secret thing was all about.

“She was afraid it’d come back to Jimin before she got to do it, and I’ve been helping her out like, looking at rings and Hoseok has been keeping Jimin company while I was with Yumi, so he wouldn’t get all suspicious,” he failed to get to the actual point.

“Okay?” you tried to follow along.

“I’m gonna tell you.. ‘cause I don’t wanna risk losing you over something so silly that-that has nothing to do with us,” his brows knotted together, clearly feeling bad about going against his own promise to Yumi, “But you can’t say anything, okay? It’s a secret. It’ll spoil everything.”

“What is it?” you leaned forward, so excited to hear what the secret was that you’d almost forgotten how angry you’d been with him just a few hours earlier. Taehyung sighed heavily.

“She’s gonna.. propose to him.”

You gasped. Jaw dropped and hand up to cover your mouth.

“Yes! Yes, but shh, okay?” he couldn’t hold back a small smile, tickled by your adorable reaction to the news.

“Oh my god,” you whispered for no good reason seeing as it was just you and Tae in the room alone. You couldn’t believe it. They’d been together for not much longer than you guys and now was finally their time. You knew how restless Jimin had been to get married, you knew how great those two were together, and oh gosh Yumi in a wedding dress? Your hand moved to place flat on your chest.

“Now it all makes sense,” you said, thinking back at the ring emojis and Jimin asking why he hadn’t hung out with Tae for a while, “Oh wow.. they’re really getting married?”

“Yes,” he nodded, “But you can’t say anything. Okay?”

“Babe, why would I say anything?”

“Oh come on, we both know you can’t keep a secret to save your life. You’re a terrible liar!” his bright, goofy laugh filled the room.

“Um, rude,” you joked, “I can totally keep a secret!”

“Well, now you kind of have to, don’t you?” he stated the unfortunate reality, “Otherwise Yumi is gonna roast me like a rotisserie chicken. She’ll murder me.” You’d truly never been the best at keeping secrets. If it wasn’t your words disobeying you and blabbering without permission, it was your face. You wouldn’t be able to keep it together if you saw Jimin, face bound to display too much excitement. Maybe it wasn’t completely wicked not to have told you.

“Okay, okay, I promise I won’t say anything,” you teased with a little eyeroll.

“Good.”

And you smiled at each other again. Any bits and pieces of ice left in your heart had melted away. All this stress for nothing. Tae’s smile faded.

“I’m sorry, baby. I should’ve told you.”

“No, please. It’s okay,” you cut him off before he could say any more, “I get it. I know I’m a shit secret-keeper.”

“I’m not gonna fight you on that.” He reached out and took your hand in his, tender as always. His fingers intertwining with yours. “But I should’ve told you earlier today. You were stressed and I wasn’t listening.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, giving his hand a little squeeze, “I wasn’t listening either. I was set on the worst case scenario without talking to you. Got a bit dramatic, didn’t it?”

“That’s okay. We were both a equally stupid,” he smiled lightly.

“Still. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okaaay,” Tae said cutely and he leaned over to plant a kiss on your lips. And another. And another. Soon your lips were moving together like waves on the open ocean, eyes fully closed. His warm tongue slipping past your lips, meeting yours. This was it. This was the true meaning of safety. To love and be loved. To trust and be trusted. Oh, how important communication was. How silly misunderstandings could be. And as he pulled away, even if just the slightest, you opened your eyes and saw nothing more, nothing less than your future.

“What d’you say we take this to the bedroom?” he cheekily suggested and wiggled his eyebrows. You giggled.

“Hmm, sounds tempting,” you hummed.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“I even have a pair of pre-heated socks ready for you,” he teased. Joyfully you snickered, before pressing another peck to his lips.

“That’s genuinely very sexy of you,” your words were almost muffled by how close you were, your mouths nothing but a breath apart, “How did I land you?”

“Maybe you should lock me down too.”

Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes met. Nothing more needed to be said. It’s not like it hadn’t crossed your mind, but it wasn’t something you had actively been thinking about.. not till now at least. Now that he’d mentioned it. Suggested it even.

“What about the tea?” you asked.

“Hm?” Taehyung raised his eyebrows before turning his head to look at the two cups still completely filled, untouched, forgotten about entirely. His mouth pulled up into a smile and he looked back at you. “Ah, it won’t go anywhere.”

His lips seductively brushed against yours.

“It’ll be there when we come back.”

jin playing ‘la madriguera’ in a nutshell

now that spotify wrapped is here, tell me your 3rd, 6rd and 9th songs in the tags

Fuck your horoscope, your prediction for next year is determined by the songs on your spotify wrapped for your birthdate (m/d/yy)