Vollber Headcanons For @brilliant-fox

vollber headcanons for @brilliant-fox

as requested by @brilliant-fox, i shall post more vollber headcanons here for y'all to munch on >:) • klaber is a REALLY good dancer/singer - klaber will get down to that 60s jazz like a fucking animal but he's genuinely an amazing dancer/singer even when he's drunk outta his mind and needs to be dragged off the stage at the bar, meanwhile voller has two left feet which tends to surprise people • slightly nsfw but klaber's favorite food is ribs - hands down, i will not be taking any questions on this, klaber could stick a rib in his mouth, pull the bone out and it'd be so clean that it'd be shining with god's holy fucking light, voller doesn't know how he does it but he does know he wants to stick something else in that mouth iykwim ;) • slightly nsfw again my bad but nicknames - when talking to other people about klaber, voller will refer to him as "mein höllenhund" (meaning "my hellhound") and klaber never fails to live up to his title but it's "mein welpe" in bed, meaning "my puppy" ;) • praise - voller will praise klaber for the exact same things he shouts at hauke for, hauke could fuck something up and voller would go nuts at him but when klaber fucks something up, he receives a very affectionate "du hast dein bestes gegeben, guter junge" (you tried your best, good boy) and it pisses hauke off to NO END • chivalry - a lot of people joke about throwing their coats down over puddles so their loved ones don't have to step in them and get their shoes wet, it's a pretty old romantic tradition that nobody actually takes seriously EXCEPT FOR KLABER. it could be pouring with rain and klaber's tearing his coat off and draping it over the side of the road as voller climbs out of the car so he doesn't get his clothes dirty • gum - klaber's the kinda crazy motherfucker to see someone spit gum out onto the ground and go "ooh, gum" and bend down to pick it up, don't ask questions, it's canon, he's insane that's all i have for now my lovelies, i'll be posting more soon so don't you worry >:)

OMG YESSS, another Vollber shipper! Literally scream at me about then whenever you want bc I'm also obsessed!!! I'm also writing a fic about them here, but I'd LOVE to hear more of your headcannons

omg tysm, please don't be afraid to dm me because i am OBSESSED with them rn, i know i have a few more headcanons floating around so i'll definitely post those when i'm more awake >:)

very much a wip but putting this here for anyone who's interested in these silly guys

klaber headcanon - karaoke

idk how but i know for a FACT that klaber can sing and dance, all i can imagine in my head rn is voller and his goons going to a bar and klaber just starts going NUTS on the karaoke and voller's like REALLY SURPRISED LMAO, also him singing trouble by elvis presley specifically because it just fits so well in my brain, HE ALSO SOUNDS LIKE KLABER LIKE WHAT???

Why are you shipping Nazis? Like, I understand they're fictional characters, but what could possibly make you like actual, literal Nazis enough to want to write them happily romancing each other or whatever? You know they're Nazis, right?

Hello!

Obviously I know they are Nazis, it would be kind of hard not to notice. And why do I ship them?

Well, you see, the ship is not primarily about Nazism. I saw Voller and Klaber interacting and giving each other intense stares and I got intrigued by their dynamic. (And I also have a soft spot for Mads Mikkelsen and his roles.) As you yourself said, you understand they are fictional characters. And that’s all they are for me as well; fictional characters. And just like liking a fictional character that is a killer or cannibal doesn’t make one a real-life killer or cannibal, liking a fictional character that happens to be a Nazi doesn’t make one a real-life Nazi. What one enjoys exploring in fiction isn’t necessarily the same thing they would approve of in real life.

And I believe the same generally applies to people interested in history, by the way. Just because someone’s favourite time period to learn about is WWII, it doesn’t make them a Nazi. It’s all about being able to distinguish between fiction/theory and reality/actions. And one’s morality should be judged by their own actions, never by the actions of their favourite fictional character. And I genuinely don’t think my actions – me shipping two fictional Nazis – are wrong. Because I may be writing fics from Voller’s POV, I may be exploring his character and backstory to find out what influenced his present behaviour and motivations, but I’m not justifying his actions or ideology. Never was. And never would. I don’t support Nazism. I simply find these characters and their dynamic intriguing and that’s why I ship them.

Also, a quick side note, because I’ve seen your post. My username is not related to Nazism. I’m really putting an emphasis on this, because I understand where you’re coming from. I had this username long before this one Indiana Jones movie came out and before I even knew these characters existed. The name is sort of a word pun and I came up with it after I started watching Merlin. So, no, it’s not related to this particular ship. And it was never meant to upset anyone either, because I am not a (Neo-)Nazi.

Oh, another Voller/Klaber shipper! Hi!! Just like with Spider, you can scream with me about them any time if you want. There's still so little of us, feel free to dm me!

What are some of your headcanons after seeing the movie?? (Besides the one that they should have kissed during the plane scene, because they absolutely should. I bet they did in the last second, though, when the camera wasn't inside of the plane anymore. :))

OMG HELLO :] i'm so excited to be meeting more vollber fans rn, plz don't be afraid to dm me either because i have LITERALLY SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THEM omg sorry i took so long to answer but as for headcanons (and other silly thoughts since i know i'll probably go crazy here), these are a few that are dancing around my head rn!! :))

• dragon riders - i think it'd be very snazzy if when archimedes found voller and klaber's bodies in the plane wreck they were immortalized in history as "the dragon riders," indiana jones finding a picture of them in that tomb like how he and helena found that picture of the phoenix with propellers representing their plane and he's like "jesus fuck not these homos again" LMAO

• klaber has adhd & dyslexia - i'm neurodivergent myself and i find this very fitting, klaber's impulsivity and horrific german just speaks to me and i also adore the idea of voller being the only one to accurately recognize this and help him rather than pinning the "dumb country boy" stereotype to him (although i love this flavor of klaber too)

• voller on tv - a lot of documentaries were made about ww2 after its end, voller never even considered the possibility of this happening and being a renowned nazi scientist, he becomes the subject of quite a few of them but what he doesn't know is that klaber has rewatched each and every one of them at least a hundred times for the simple fact that they're about his beloved boss that couldn't possibly do anything wrong (and he thinks young voller looks smoking hot ofc)

• this one is very nsfw so don't read any further than this if you're not a fan of that kinda stuff but anyways horny klaber - klaber's sex drive is fucking RIDICULOUSLY strong and it's not hard to tell, a single whiff of voller's cologne has that man foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog and there's nothing anyone can do about it because klaber's the golden boy and if he can get away with shooting up the literal apollo 11 parade, he can get away with humping every available piece of furniture within a 100 mile radius too (or alternatively voller's leg)

• slightly nsfw but klaber's accent - voller is fucking IN LOVE with it but he'd throw himself off a bridge before ever admitting it, hauke complains that voller is constantly correcting him on his german but despite klaber's being significantly worse, he never says a thing about his and then one day it clicks and he's just like "oh" 😰 LMAO

• MORE NSFW SORRY LMAO but sexy time - klaber definitely calls voller herr voller in bed regardless of whether he's topping or bottoming, voller actively encourages this with a "guter Junge" (good boy) each time ;)

THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD BUT SHOOT ME A MESSAGE AND I CAN DM YOU MORE THAT COME TO MIND IF YOUD LIKE BECAUSE MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT GOES AT LIKE THE SPEED OF LIGHT :]]