This Is The Last Thing Youll Ever See. In A Flash Everything Goes Dark And Youre Halfway Down His Gullet

This is the last thing you’ll ever see. In a flash everything goes dark and you’re halfway down his gullet before you realize what’s going on. You were in a serious relationship, moving up at work and even settled your student debt. Funny how life works. You work your tail off for a decade and when you finally have things pretty good you wind up some guy’s lunch.

I know COVID times has been hard for most people, but personally I’m loving it. Just take today as example. While before I’d have to be discrete, stalking a guy and drag him alone in an alleyway or spend money on drinks and lure him home just to get a decent meal, but now when I’m hungry, I just go to the local coffeeshop, quickly slide down my mask to stuff a anti-masker down my throat and people treat me like a hero. I gotta say, I never thought that in 2020 sending a guy to his death in your belly in public would garner applause.

That look when you realize what getting eaten actually entails, but your pride says it’s too late to back out.

You had thought you’d regret giving him a second chance, but washing up you convinced yourself those fears were overblown. Tonight he had behaved himself like a perfect gentleman, putting courtesy and chivalry in place of his usual toxic competitiveness. It finally happened, you thought, he was a changed man. Why he even ordered just a personal pan, when he usually would’ve gotten three family sized and turned the date into an eating contest.

You dry off and return to the table, when

OH MY GOD!?

“What?”

“What did you do?”

“I’m just enjoying my meal, very filling.”

“Knock that stupid smile off your face, that’s gotta be a deadly sin!”

“Not once at University of Notre Dame did they mention the commandment that ‘thou must not eat thine hunk pizza waiter’”

“What about Murder!?”

“Someone’s jealous they won’t get to settle in my belly for another 3 weeks”

Welp folks, I just pulled a major oof. Usually I think that I have a pretty good control over my hunger. Yes, I indulge, but I’m usually pretty smart about it. Today while mountain biking though, I slipped. Maybe it was because of me forgetting breakfast or not bringing any snacks or something about bicycle shorts that make guys look more appetizing. Due to probably all three compounded I pounced on this guy looking at the map. He was probably only 20 or 21, average height with the average build of a guy who works out, but doesn’t prioritize it too much. We had a little small talk and he seemed nice enough, though that didn’t apparently seem to matter. Without thinking, I got off my bike, walked over and shoved my open mouth over his brown hair. Now what? I was almost out of steam to begin with, but now I’m carrying a 150 lbs man on top of that. I really could’ve planned this out better. I thought of letting him out and getting someone by my car, but I run the risk of him also being a Pred. I got him from the back. He didn’t know what was happening until it was too late. It would be hard to fend him off and even though I’d be saving his life, he probably wouldn’t be too happy about me trying to steal it in the first place. Oh well, gotta start heading back sometime. It’s only about a mile and I’ve gone farther full when walking, just wish it wasn’t so bumpy.

I don’t know if I’ve ever had someone this excited to eat them. I mean usually there’s a struggle, or at the very least it takes a lot of convincing, but here this guy’s acting like I’m some selfless hero. I’d love to bring him back up and do this a few times, but he insists on full digestion.