whatdoyouwanttocallmefor - (⁠θjullyθ⁠)
whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
(⁠θjullyθ⁠)

Tri // 20 // INFP

25 posts

Whatdoyouwanttocallmefor - (jully) - Tumblr Blog

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
3 months ago

🥺🥺🥺 poor our minmin

hiii - I read a bunch of your works and I loved them so much!

do you think you could do a minho (or one for everyone) piece where he's feeling burnt out but he's been trying to hold it together (maybe he's been quite successful at not making it known to the guys) because he doesn't want to be a bother y/n hasn't been around much (but has been texting to check in on him) because of university or work. but through those texts, you get a sense he's not himself and when you finally see him in person, you can tell he's trying to hold it together but the second you say "it's been hard, hasn't it?" He immediately break and y/n is there to pick him up.

okay this was a bit more specific than I intended so feel free to do your own thing but I think it would be nice to have a y/n comforting the member thing but only if youre up for it!!

Thank you and feel free to say no as well!! I understand that you've got a whole bunch of other things to do too

Thank you and have a great week.

Put Your Head on My Shoulder | Minho

Minho x gn!reader >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Minho sat on the edge of his bed, his phone resting in his hand as he stared blankly at the screen. Another text from you, asking how he was. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to reply, but the words wouldn’t come.

He was burnt out. He had been running on fumes for weeks now-between rehearsals, performances, and schedules that seemed never-ending, the burnout had crept up on him slowly, until it swallowed him whole.

Still, he had been holding it together. At least, he thought he had.

The guys hadn’t noticed, or if they did, they hadn’t said anything. He’d become good at hiding it- smiling, joking, and keeping up the act, because that was what everyone expected of him. Minho was the strong one, the calm one, always in control. But beneath the surface, he was unraveling.

He didn't want to place that burden on anyone- let alone you who had been an unexpected blessing in his life. An unexpected meeting that turned into him freefalling for you fast and hard and more passionate than he had ever loved anyone before.

He needed you and he didn't want to do anything that could potentially jeopardize his chance at forever with you.

You probably didn't want to date a burnt out man...

He rubbed his temples, feeling the tension radiating behind his eyes, and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Your text still glowed on the screen:

Hey, love, how’s everything going? You okay?

You had been checking in on him more often lately, even though you were busy with university. He could tell you were worried, even if you didn’t say it outright. And somehow, through just those few words, you knew him better than anyone else. As if your souls were connected.

Minho didn’t reply. He didn’t have the energy to put up a front, and he didn’t want to worry you more than he already had. He figured if you sensed something was off out of the blue, you could detect his lies through the phone.

He sighed and placed his phone face-down on the bed, willing the exhaustion away, knowing it wasn’t going anywhere.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

It had been almost two weeks since you and Minho had last seen each other. Between your classes and his packed schedule, finding time to meet up had been nearly impossible. But today was different. You had wrapped up your work early and decided it was time to check on him- really check on him. His texts had been growing shorter, his replies delayed, and every instinct told you that something was wrong.

And you supposed you could give some credit to Han, who had willingly snitched to you about how his Hyung was falling asleep in public places.

And how he:

"-didn't even react to a cat picture. That's a red flag, Hyung loves cats."

You knew Minho didn’t like to show when he was struggling. He had a habit of carrying everything on his shoulders without asking for help, but you had seen through that long ago.

The plan was simple: drop by his place, surprise him, and figure out what was going on.

When you arrived, you knocked softly, waiting for a response. After a moment, you heard shuffling on the other side, and the door creaked open.

Minho stood there, and your heart sank immediately. He looked exhausted- his usual sharp features softened by the weight of whatever he was carrying. His skin was dry, and his hair disheveled. His eyes, normally so full of mischief and light, were dull, and there was a tightness in his expression that he hadn’t quite managed to hide.

"Y/N-ah," he said, his voice slightly hoarse.

You smiled gently, stepping inside and wrapping your arms around him without a second thought, snuggling your head into his chest. "Hey, Min. You look like you need a break."

He chuckled softly, but there was no real humor behind it. "I’m fine. Just…a little tired."

You pulled back, studying his face, and it hit you just how much he had been pushing himself. There was a heaviness in the air between you, and you could see that he was barely holding it together. You sighed.

You led him to the couch, sitting down next to him. For a moment, neither of you said anything, the quiet stretching between you like a fragile thread.

Finally, you spoke, your voice soft but firm.

"It’s been hard, hasn’t it?"

At those words, you felt the subtle shift in the air, like the last thread of his composure snapped.

Minho’s catlike eyes flickered to yours, and for a moment, he blinked rapidly, trying to brush it off, to give you a small smile like he always did so he wouldn't be a burden- so he wouldn't give you any reason to judge, to leave; but this time that flippant smile didn’t reach his eyes. His lips trembled slightly- and then, all at once, the mask fell.

He broke.

Minho let out a shaky breath, his hands coming up to cover his face as his shoulders slumped. You could hear the quiet sound of his breath hitching, the sound of someone who had been holding on too tightly for too long.

"Don't look." He whined, but you didn't listen.

Without a word, you scooted closer, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him against your chest. He didn’t resist, allowing himself to collapse into your embrace, his body trembling slightly as he let go of everything he had been bottling up. He buried his face into your shoulder, his breath coming in uneven waves.

"Shh," you whispered, rubbing gentle circles on his back. "It’s okay, Min. You don’t have to hold it together anymore."

Minho didn’t say anything, but his grip on your shirt tightened. For a while, you just held him, the soft sound of his breathing filling the space. He was always so strong, always so composed, but here, in your arms, he let himself be vulnerable. This was the first time you had ever seen him be vulnerable. And knowing im, you figured this wouldn't be a super common occurence but you basked in it nonetheless, happy that he felt comfortable enough to break in froont of you.

And you held him, letting him know that it was okay to lean on you-that he didn’t have to carry everything on his own.

After a while, his breathing steadied, and you felt him relax slightly against you. You pulled back just enough to look at him, brushing a few stray strands of hair from his face. His eyes were red-rimmed, his breathing clogged, but there was a softness there now- a quiet relief, like he had finally let down the walls he’d been building for so long.

"You don’t have to pretend with me, Minho," you said quietly, your fingers still gently combing through his hair. "I’m here."

He swallowed hard, blinking back the last of his tears. "I just…didn’t want to bother you," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

You shook your head, giving him a small, sad smile. "You could never be a bother. Not to me."

There was a long pause, and then Minho leaned his head against your shoulder, the tension in his body slowly ebbing away as he rested against you. "Can I just…stay like this for a while?"

Your heart ached at the vulnerability in his voice. "Of course," you whispered. "As long as you need."

You could feel him relax further, his head heavy against your shoulder as you continued to run your fingers through his hair. You leaned back into the couch, and he shifted slightly, resting more comfortably against you.

"Put your head on my shoulder," you murmured softly, a quiet invitation to let go. And he did. He leaned into you, kicking his legs into your lap, his head nestling into the curve of your neck, his breathing becoming slower and more even as he allowed himself to cling close to you and simply be in your presence.

The room was quiet, the only sound the steady rhythm of your breathing in sync. You held him close, feeling the weight of everything he had been carrying, and you wished you could take some of that burden away. But for now, this was enough.

"You’ve been working so hard," you whispered, your voice soft as you stroked his hair. "It’s okay to rest."

Minho sighed, his eyes fluttering shut as he nuzzled a little closer. "I don’t know what I’d do without you," he mumbled, his voice drowsy now, the emotional weight finally catching up to him.

"You’ll never have to find out," you said, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head.

Time passed in a comfortable silence, and after a while, the weight on your body became heavy as you realized Minho had drifted off to sleep, his body fully relaxed against you. You smiled softly, brushing your fingers through his hair once more, marveling at how peaceful he looked now.

He had been trying so hard to hold everything together, but here, in this moment, he had finally let himself be vulnerable. And you were grateful that he trusted you enough to let go, to rest, to lean on you.

You knew that when he woke up, he’d still have the weight of his responsibilities waiting for him. But for now, he was safe, cradled in the warmth of your arms, where he didn’t have to be anything but himself.

And as you sat there, holding him close, you knew that no matter what came next, you’d always be there to catch him when he fell- to remind him that he didn’t have to face everything alone.

With a soft smile, you rested your cheek against the top of his head, closing your eyes and letting the quiet comfort of the moment wash over you both.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

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@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg

@leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon

@night-storm7 @missmajdastark @axel-skz


Tags :
whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
3 months ago

SWEET MIN SWEET MIN SWEET MIN I REPEAT SWEET MIN ❤️💕❤️❤️

Language Barrier

Language Barrier
Language Barrier
Language Barrier

Pairing: Lee Minho x Reader

Word Count: 7K

Tags: fluff, first meeting, first kiss, strangers to lovers

Summary: When the power goes out while you’re in an ATM vestibule, you come to realize you’re stuck inside until the police come to open the door. But there’s one problem, you don’t speak a lick of Korean, and the man inside doesn’t seem to speak an ounce of English.

———

A/N: Please note that sentences that are Italicized are meant to be in Korean and sentences that are regular text are in English.

‘How are you?’ - English

‘I’m fine thank you, and you?’ - Korean

—————————————————————————

Luck was not on your side today.

It’s not like you’re an unlucky person as a whole, no, that’s not it. Today was just one of those days that when you say ‘How could this get any worse?’, the universe takes it as a challenge.

Perhaps you should’ve just kept your mouth shut after you spilled coffee on your blouse this morning. But, you’ve always been such a ‘glass-half-full’ sort of person that you tried to take every inconvenience in stride. Everyone has their limit, though.

Before you came here on a business trip, you had heard about the Korean Monsoon season.

Everyone and their mother told you about how much it would pour, how it would feel like the skies suddenly opened up. But, you didn’t take anyone’s warning seriously. You would wave them off with a scoff.

“It’s just rain,” you thought. “How bad could it be?”

You’re eating those words now as you run through the streets in your nice, newly-soaked, professional heels. Your slacks are sticking to your legs, making the fabric ten times heavier. With your bag held over your head, you look around frantically for the bank.

It doesn’t help that it’s close to 10 PM and visibility is already horrible at this time. Yes, you should have gone earlier, but you were distracted!

Where is it? Where is it?

There!

You spot the glass doors and practically sprint up to them, grab the handle, and rip the door open.

A giant sigh of relief comes out of your lips as you step inside the tiny vestibule.

The only other man inside the place jumps a bit at your noise. He glances over his shoulder at you, but immediately turns back to what he’s doing at the ATM. You pay him no mind as you shake the rainwater off of your bag.

It’s after hours at the bank, meaning the only thing open and available is one ATM inside the room between the bank itself and the streets of Seoul.

Soft beeping comes from the ATM as the other man presses a few buttons. There’s an umbrella on the floor at his feet.

After brushing the water off your jacket, you bring your bag in front of you and start fishing out your card. Countless items inside your bag are now completely soaked.

Ugh, there goes all those business cards you collected at the meeting. Most of the ink is bleeding off the cardstock. Maybe, if you try really hard, you can make out the phone numbers on the cards.

Is that a 6 or an 8?

Or maybe the email addresses will be easier to understand. Surely, it just their names and their company’s–

There’s a bright flash of lightning followed immediately by a booming clap of thunder at the same time the lights in the ATM vestibule flicker and go out completely.

You fight the yelp that bubbles in your throat. The man in front of you seems to lose the fight against his reactions and lets out a tiny yip.

His shoulders come up and he seems to bristle like a cat.

“You’re kidding,” you mumble, looking up at the lights. It was almost pitch black inside now, save for the tiny emergency lights that kick on on either side of the glowing Exit sign.

The man lets out a grumble and a sigh.

You look over and see that the ATM has completely shut off. Figures.

The storm must’ve triggered some sort of power outage. Great. Now you’ll have to find some other ATM.

Why, oh why, did the restaurant that your boss wanted to take you to tomorrow morning have to be cash only?

Whatever, there should be a bank a few blocks from here.

Your heels click on the tile as you make your way to the door. When you grab the handle and pull, it doesn’t budge.

There’s a beat.

You try again, really putting your back into it this time.

“Am I stupid or what?” you whisper to yourself, trying the other door and pulling equally as hard.

“They’re not going to open,” the man behind you says. “The fail-safe locks probably kicked in once the power went out. It’s a security measure.”

You turn around and look at him with a blank look on your face. “Oh, ah, um… s-sorry, no… no Korean.”

The man blinks at you. “You don’t speak Korean?”

You blink right back at him. “Um…” All you can do is shake your head with wide eyes and a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry,” you repeat.

Another series of blinks are exchanged.

“No… Korean?” he asks slowly. His English sounds so unsure.

You nod. “No… no Korean.”

A tiny, exasperated sigh comes from his lips and he looks around, as if anything inside this tiny little room would be able to help him communicate with you. Meanwhile, you turn back to the door and give it another sharp tug to no avail.

“No,” he says firmly, drawing your attention back to him. He motions down to the door handles and then shakes his head.

“No?” you repeat, a bit confused.

“No.”

Honestly, the primitive conversation between the two of you would be somewhat laughable if you didn’t feel frustrated beyond belief.

“Why?” you ask, becoming annoyed. Obviously, he knows something that you don’t.

The man blinks at you and shifts around nervously on his feet. His hands motion around as he tries to conjure up a sentence in English. “N… No. Closed?... Closed.” He nods, saying the word rather confidently.

Yes, you know the door is closed. But, why?

After a second, he sees that whatever he said evidently isn’t good enough, so he points back to the ATM, to the light that is now off due to no power, and then to the locks. You follow his pointing and the cogs in your brain start turning slowly.

“Fail-safe locks,” you state and then finally release the door handles.

“Fail… Fail-safe locks,” he repeats slowly. “Fail-safe locks.”

“Fail-safe locks?” you parrot his Korean back to him and he nods.

A small hum comes from your chest and you take a step back from the door finally. “How long do you think–” you cut yourself off when you look over at him. The man is staring at you, not following a word you’re saying.

Your hand comes up and you brush some wet hair off your forehead and then scratch the back of your head as a nervous tick. There’s no point in even asking the question, he won’t be able to understand anything you’re saying.

If you were in his shoes, you’d probably be a bit annoyed too. But at the same time, he’s already been kinder than most would be in this situation.

He’s locked in an ATM vestibule with someone who doesn’t speak the same language as him– in his own country. He’s been more than kind. Most people would just wave you off and forget trying to communicate at all.

But here he was, talking slowly and making sure you can understand what he’s saying. He’s going so far as to point around the room to make sure you understand.

The man notices you give up and he lets out a tiny sigh, turning to then peer out the glass doors at the streets of Seoul. There’s basically no one out there, everyone has taken shelter from the squall.

“We’ll have to wait until the police come to open the door.” He pats at his pockets, searching for his phone.

Even with how terrible your Korean is, you still pick up on a few words. “Police?” A beat. “Police?”

“Yes,” he answers in English, taking his phone out and tapping the screen a few times before holding it up to his ear. The man continues to look through the glass doors, watching all the different cars drive by, none of them police cars.

You decide to turn around, walking around the tiny room.

All of the lights are off except for the emergency lights. They cast a dull glow through the entirety of the vestibule. There's barely enough light to see from one side of the room to the other.

Rain starts hammering against the glass as the man speaks into his phone. “Yes, hi, hello. I am currently trapped with another woman inside the ATM vestibule of Metrobank Seoul… Namdaemunno… Yes, that one.”

Your ears perk up when he mentions the name of the bank and the address. Ah, he must have called the police. His face pulls into a slightly annoyed look, but he doesn’t speak with a hint of it through the phone, at least, not that you’re really able to tell.

The man says a few more words into the phone before he hangs up with a sigh. He runs a hand through his hair and then down his face in an exasperated fashion before turning to look at you. His mouth opens to say something, but he thinks better of it and he grimaces even more.

Your own features pull into a sympathetic expression and you look away, slightly embarrassed. Should you have learned more of the language before coming here? Absolutely. But at the same time, you didn’t have much time to prepare once you were told you had to travel here for business.

He shuffles from foot to foot and looks around, shoving his hands in his pockets and desperately trying to remember every English class he took in school.

“Police…” he says slowly, thinking through every word he wants to try and say. “Police are… busy.”

“Busy?”

“Yes. Busy. Busy with… car…” He brings both of his hands together and claps and then makes an explosion noise with his hands.

“A car accident?”

He snaps his fingers and points to you, as if you’re a team during a game of charades.

“Car accident,” he says in Korean.

“Car accident,” you repeat and he nods.

Despite the reality of the situation, you smile. The humor in all of this does not escape you. You decide to try and meet him halfway, even with your butchered pronunciation.

“Police… time… long?” Your head cocks to the side and you point to your watch. He shakes his head and shrugs in exaggerated movements.

Scoffing, you roll your eyes. The accident was that bad, huh? No wonder the power went out then, the car must have smashed into electrical lines after that loud clap of thunder. This probably means all of the traffic lights and such are out too.

The police are most likely directing traffic and making sure no one gets injured; two idiots stranded in an ATM vestibule are the least of their concerns. Honestly, you can’t be in a safer place. Well, unless this guy is a murderer, but you haven’t gotten a harsh vibe yet.

You sigh and lean against the wall near the corner across from the ATM. Your body slides down to the floor and you stare straight ahead. It seems like you’re going to be in here for a while then.

The man takes one last look outside the doors before walking in your direction. He leans against the adjacent wall and takes a seat on the floor with you. His shoes almost touch the side of yours. It’s at this time that you let yourself take a moment to really look at him.

He has to be around your age; older than a college graduate but younger than someone settled into their career. Something that definitely doesn’t escape your attention is how… pretty he is. His skin is near perfect and so is his hair. Everything, down to the clothes he’s wearing, is absolutely flawless– and he’s only in sweatpants and a zip-up hoodie!

Next to him, especially in your current drowned rat state, you probably look like something worse than a hot mess. You quickly comb your hair off your forehead once more and pull at your soaking wet clothes sticking to your skin.

The man’s lips purse for a moment and he opens his mouth as if to say something, then promptly stops, opting for a grumble of frustration.

After a moment, an idea flickers through your mind and you hold up one finger to him to say ‘one moment’. You reach down into your pocket for your phone and take it out, tapping at a few screens and bringing up the Translate app.

‘What’s your name?’ you type into the phone and it immediately translates it into Korean below it. You turn your phone around and hold it up to him.

The man looks at you, then your phone, and his eyes light up. If you’re not mistaken, you even see a little bit of relief flash over his features. A tiny smirk pulls at one corner of his lips before he looks back at you.

“Minho,” he answers and motions to you.

“Y/N,” you reply. “Nice to meet you, Minho.” You hold your hand out for a handshake.

Minho looks at your hand and his smirk gets wider before he grabs your hand and shakes it gently. The skin on his palm is so soft. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

After shaking his hand, you bring your phone back up to your face and type another sentence into the translate app.

‘I’m very sorry for not knowing Korean, I’m here on business.’

Minho looks at your phone, reading the statement before shaking his head and pulling out his own phone. He types away and then holds it up for you to read.

‘No need to apologize. With my line of work, my English should be better. It’s a very hard language to learn.’

A little laugh huffs from your nose and you nod and type.

‘Try learning Korean.’

Minho laughs with you and his smirk grows into a playful smile. Jesus Christ, this man is gorgeous. He looks down and taps a bit on his phone and then he holds it up to you. With the way his smirk pulls at his lips, it almost reminds you of a devious little cat.

‘I could tell you were a foreigner when you first came into the bank.’

Your eyebrow raises. “Oh, really?”

He’s chuckling when he brings his phone back to type more and then hold it up for you to read.

‘You don’t have an umbrella.’

Laughter leaves your lips when you read that and your head tilts back to rest against the wall. The wetness from your clothes is beginning to seep into your bones. Plus, the feeling of the fabric sticking to your skin is starting to become overstimulating.

But, you try and keep it together. You don’t really have another option at the moment.

You type a message back to Minho.

‘People tried to warn me about the Monsoon Season. As you can see, I didn’t listen.’

He reads your message and sucks his teeth with a smirk. Minho shakes his head and motions to the glass doors, as if to say ‘Look!’.

“I know, I know!” you laugh and look outside at the sheets of rain pouring from the sky. Puddles have turned into small ravines flowing down the sides of the road. Any car that passes by creates a huge splash as they pass through them.

Every once in a while, the sky will light up and thunder will follow it quickly.

Minho laughs with you. “Next time… you listen.” He nudges your leg with his foot.

You look over at him. “I will, trust me.”

A long look is shared between the two of you. There’s this tiny nagging feeling at the back of your mind, it’s that same feeling you get when you see someone in public that you swear you’ve seen before. Maybe he just has one of those faces?

No, you definitely haven’t met him before. You would remember if he was someone you shook hands with in the last few days. A man that gorgeous would never slip under your radar, you’re certain.

Minho stares back at you, eyes flitting about at your soaking wet hair matting to your skin. It looks like his one hand twitches for a moment and then he shifts in his seat.

Back to the app.

The two of you type away on your phones and hold them up at the same time with the exact same question on them.

‘What do you do for work?’

‘What do you do for work?’

Again, the two of you let out little huffs of laughter and he motions to you as if to tell you to go first.

So you do, you type down on your phone a little answer for him.

‘Right now, I’m only the assistant to a CEO for a huge company. Wherever he goes, I go. I write all his contracts; everything he does goes through me first. I’m more of an administrator than an assistant, though.’

Minho reads your answer carefully and then types out a small response with a tiny crease in between his brows.

‘Why do you say ‘right now’?’

A sad smile spreads on your face as you look down at your phone to type out a response.

‘I studied hard and have a Mathematics degree. But no matter where I apply, they say I don’t have enough experience. Back in America, the job market is absolutely horrible. So, I’m stuck.’

Minho’s eyes scan through your message and a frown pulls at his lips. He looks back up at you, meeting your eyes and then back to your phone before he begins to type his own message.

Your silent communication warms your heart a little bit. The glow from his phone lights up his features and you study him carefully. His teeth poke out from his top lip– it’s absolutely adorable.

He seems to think for a long moment before his thumbs fly over his screen.

Rain is coming down in sheets outside the door, it’s the only other sound inside the room besides the light clicking of the haptics on his phone.

You reach back and once more run your fingers through your hair– it seems to be drying now, but not in a good way. The humidity of the rain is apparent in the way it's starting to frizz up.

Minho turns his phone around after a moment of typing.

‘I’ve heard about how hard it is to get a job in America, I’m very sorry it’s so unfair. For what it’s worth, I think there’s nothing wrong with the job you have now. Hard work is hard work no matter if it's an assistant or a scientist.’

His words strike a chord within your heart, they tug at your chest and at the corner of your lips which twitch into a wistful smile on your face.

“Thank you,” you say to him in Korean, looking directly into his eyes. Minho smiles back at you when he hears it.

“You are welcome,” he answers in English.

His smile seems so warm for a stranger. He looks at you as if you’re an old friend, not like a woman, still soaking wet from the rain, sitting on the floor with him inside an ATM vestibule. He’s so genuine.

After a few seconds of just looking at him, you bring your phone up to type once more.

‘Your turn. What do you do?’

Minho stares at your phone for a long time, seemingly reading the sentence over and over again. His bottom lip pulls between his teeth and he seems to weigh something in his mind.

His brown eyes flick to yours, then back to the phone, then back to you again before he looks down at his phone.

You never realized how much just body language alone can convey.

He types slower, his thumbs not moving as quickly as before. Why does he seem so apprehensive?

Eventually, he turns the phone around.

‘I’m an idol.’

“Oh,” you say softly. Your shoulders shrug a bit and you cock your head to the side. “Like a K-pop idol?”

Minho nods in response. “Stray Kids.”

The name rings a bell, it’s just one you’ve heard floating around for a few months now. You think one of your friends is into them, but you can’t remember. She’s into so many different groups, it’s hard to keep track anymore.

You type in your phone.

‘I’ve heard the name before. Weren’t you guys at the MET Gala?’

With a breathy chuckle, he nods. A smile spreads across your face.

‘Wow, I’m trapped in a room with a celebrity then. You know, people write stories like this.’

Your joke definitely lands because he snorts a huff of laughter as you type on your phone a little bit more after that.

‘Don’t worry, I won’t take pictures and post them all over Twitter or anything. This will just be a funny story for me to tell my friends when I get back home to America.’

“Thank you,” Minho says softly with genuine gratitude in his voice. God, you can’t even imagine what it’s like being an idol. There probably wasn’t a single place he felt safe going to anymore. There are always cameras just waiting to take his picture.

‘When do you go back to America?’

‘In a few days. My boss loves to extend his business trips at the last minute. So, I could be here three more days or seven more days. It’s very hard to pack to come on these trips.’

A bittersweet expression settles on his handsome face.

You think for a long moment before typing away at your phone and showing it to him.

‘Have you ever been to New Jersey? That’s the state I’m from.’

Minho’s lips purse as he thinks for a long few moments. Very slowly, he nods, almost unsure. He types in his phone, then thinks for a moment, then types again.

‘I think we’ve been there twice. Is Newark in New Jersey?’

Excitedly, you nod. “Yes, that’s up in North Jersey!” You’re so excited that you forget to type down on your phone. “Oh!” you say with a laugh, looking back down at your phone.

‘Yes, that’s in the northern part of the state, about an hour or so from my hometown. I grew up in the central region, right on the beach. It only takes ten minutes to get to the beach from my house.’

Minho’s smile widens and he looks at you with a slightly envious look in his eyes. You giggle in response.

‘Two other members love the beach, but they’re from Australia.’

‘Australian beaches are probably not that different from American beaches. But I’ve never been to Australia. Have you?’

Minho nods and you see him close his translation app and switch over to his camera roll. His fingers quickly begin scrolling up through the countless amount of photos he has on his phone.

Not wanting to invade his privacy, you look away from his phone and out the doors in the vestibule once more. Not a single soul is walking– or running– along the sidewalks anymore.

Due to the power outage, there’s not even street lights illuminating in the puddles, it’s almost eerie looking. But, surprisingly, you don’t feel uneasy at all. Especially not with Minho sitting at your side.

Said man hums to get your attention, shuffling closer to you, and you look down at his phone. The picture is absolutely gorgeous.

It’s a photo of the beach, you’re assuming in Australia. The red sun is peeking above the horizon and painting the sky a beautiful wash of reds, pinks, and purples, all of the colors melting into one another. The clouds are wispy and glow in the morning sun.

The ocean seems so beautifully blue, even the foam at the crash of the waves is beautiful.

In front of the ocean is a gaggle of boys, it looks like there’s about seven of them. Each of them have bright, beautiful smiles on their faces reaching their eyes.

You’ve never been able to feel joy radiating from a photo like this, it seems to be contagious since you find a smile pulling at your own lips.

“This photo is beautiful,” you whisper, not taking your eyes off of it.

Minho hums, maybe he understood what you said. His thumb moves and he scrolls to the next picture where two of the boys have taken one of the others by his legs and arms and seem to be pretending to toss him into the surf.

A soft giggle comes from your lips and you find yourself leaning towards him a bit to get a better look at the photo. Truly, you didn’t even notice your shoulders brushing against each other, and by his lack of reaction, it seems Minho didn’t either.

“Friends?” you ask him in your choppy Korean.

Minho looks over at you, his face closer to you than before. His eyes widen a bit at your proximity, but he doesn’t back up at all.

“Family,” he corrects you in his soft English.

An even warmer feeling spreads through your chest and you look back down at the photo. They must be his band members, but they just look so much closer than that. It reminds you of all of your friends back home.

Before you can even think twice, you’re opening your own camera roll, scrolling through an endless sea of memories before finding one specific morning you woke up to go watch the sunrise on the beach.

A tiny, awe-struck noise comes from Minho when he looks down at it.

“Sunrise,” you say and then think for a moment. You’re not sure of the Korean you want to say. “Favorite… time.”

He’s so patient when you speak, it absolutely melts your heart. There’s a different air about his softness with you too. He’s not treating you like a child just learning how to speak, no, he’s just being… nice. He’s being sweet and genuine and it speaks volumes about his character.

“Sunrise,” he says in Korean.

“Sunrise,” you repeat, looking up at him. His eyes were already trained on your face by the time you looked up. A tiny dusting of pink covers your cheeks. How long has he been looking at you?

A happy smile spreads over his lips, the edges curl up playfully. He nods. “Sunrise. Sunrise.”

“Sunrise.” Your voice says softly once more before looking back down at your phone.

Swiping through a few more pictures, you show him the boardwalk that runs down the beaches by your house. Everything from shops, to amusement park rides, to lemonade and ice cream stands litter the entirety of the shore.

He points down at the ferris wheel and shakes his head. “No,” he says simply.

“No?” you ask with a laugh. “Why not?”

“No… no high,” he shakes his head and motions his hands around to emphasize his point.

“Best picture,” you giggle holding your hand up in the air to emphasize the height aspect, then you’re swiping to the next picture taken from the top of the ferris wheel. This time, it was sunset. “Sunset.”

“Sunset.” A pause. “My… My… favorite time.”

A soft hum bubbles up in your throat. He loves sunset whereas you love sunrise. How cute.

“Sunset is beautiful,” you say slowly. Your eyes are still on your phone when you swipe to another photo.

“Beautiful,” Minho whispers softly.

Humming, you nod. “Yes, beautiful.”

A soft puff of air comes out of his nose and fans out over your cheek. When did he get this close? You look up at him and almost bump his nose with yours.

Minho’s head flinches back a bit at your sudden movement, but he makes no move to get further away from you.

He sighs softly, his eyes flitting all over your face, taking in every one of your features. “Beautiful,” he murmurs.

Your eyes widen, that pink blush making its way back to your face. You can’t even help the tiny, giddy giggle that bubbles in your throat. You look down shyly, biting your bottom lip.

Tender, gentle fingers lift your chin back up. Truly, you didn’t notice how cold your skin was until his warm touch spread on your skin.

Is this really happening?

A shiver races down your spine and a soft shudder comes out of your lips. Minho’s eyes look down at your lips and then down at your arm where goosebumps begin to raise.

He pulls away gently, making your brows furrow. Did you do something wrong? Maybe you misread his–

He’s shrugging off his hoodie.

Oh, he thinks you're cold.

Before you can even think to tell him you’re okay, he’s pulling your shoulder forward a bit so he can drape it over your back, bundling you up in such a pleasant, soft warmth. With small, fussy movements, he’s closing the hoodie around your body.

Perhaps you didn’t even notice how cold you were until you were suddenly surrounded in a warmth that can be compared to the fuzziest blanket you own. Not to mention the absolutely delightful scent that wafts upwards into your nose from the fabric.

It’s such a clean, cozy, calming scent. It’s like you buried your nose into the Mahogany Teakwood candle at Bath and Body Works.

Your eyes stay trained on his face while he bundles you up tightly. His hands gently grab your arms and rub up and down a few times to create even more warmth.

“Better,” he murmurs, finally looking up to meet your eyes.

How is it that a stranger has wormed himself into your heart like this? His tender gaze makes your soul feel calm, like those pictures of the morning surf under the sunrise.

“Thank you,” you whisper back to him. Your hands come up to grab at the hoodie, curling into the fabric.

Minho smiles back at you, you can see how his smile grows as he watches you relax into his clothing. There’s no space between your shoulders as you rest against adjacent walls, your two bodies have melted into the corner.

There’s a clap of thunder outside, but neither of you move. Your feet shuffle on the floor as you bring your knees closer to your chest. His legs adjust around yours, feeding them under your bent knees and tangling your limbs up further.

It’s so hard to break Minho’s eye contact, but you do it slowly, looking down at your phone and opening up the translate app once more. His soft breathing hits your cheek with every exhale.

‘You’re too nice to a stranger.’

Minho hums, almost in agreement. He picks up his phone and types back.

‘I’m usually not.’

You read the statement and then look at him, your head cocked to the side. Your brows furrow in confusion, but he types more before you can even ask another question.

‘I don’t know why I feel drawn to you.’

The text looks right back at you. Your heart flutters in your chest and you know that your cheeks get redder and redder by the second. Still, you can’t contain the giddy laugh that makes its way past your lips.

You bite the inside of your cheek to try and hide the smile, but it only makes Minho smile wider. His hand slowly comes up towards your cheek. Right before he’s able to make contact, he stops, hovering over your skin and gazing into your eyes.

A silent question is asked through his eyes. It’s a language that you don’t need any sort of app for. An answer is communicated right back.

Soft, tender warmth spreads over your cheek, radiating all throughout your body in the most gentle glow. His thumb caresses over your cheek bone, swiping gentle strokes back and forth.

You feel the same as him, that’s the strange part. There’s something so alluring about him that you just can’t put your finger on it. He’s pulling you in like a magnet and you don’t even want to fight against it.

There’s so many words sitting on the tip of your tongue, but you know that each and every one of them would fall on deaf ears. Nothing that you can say in the moment would make sense to him.

Exhales are shared and mingled together in the minimal space between your faces,

“Beautiful,” he whispers for your ears only. Not like there’s anyone else to hear it except the ATM sitting dormant in the corner of the vestibule. Not even the mice in the walls would have been able to hear his murmur.

Love at first sight was something you always gawked and scoffed at. You always thought that it was such a Hallmark invention, that there was no way you would be able to just look at someone once and immediately fall head over heels for them.

But here you were, sitting on a dirty floor, feeling your heart beating faster and faster in your chest. Letting your face be cradled by a man you didn’t know two hours ago. By the man who patiently worked with you to communicate.

How is this even possible?

You can count on one hand the amount of things you know about one another.

Minho, who is a famous idol in Korea, who loves sunset and hates heights, who has the most expressive brown eyes you’ve ever seen.

Minho, who did whatever he could just to talk to you when he could have just as easily sat in silence on the other side of the vestibule.

His hand slowly drags down your cheek, each finger gliding down your skin towards your jawline to lift under your chin.

Another silent question passes through both of you in the one language you seem to both be fluent in.

Your eyes flick down to his lips and he hears you loud and clear.

Minho leans in slowly, his lips brushing against yours in a featherlight touch. But, despite how soft the kiss is, heat spreads through your body in a grand wave, rushing through your fingertips and into your toes.

The first press is long and sweet, the two of you simply melting into the sensation of being locked together.

He pulls away only for a moment, his eyes gazing down at your lips before he swoops in again, this time his movements a bit quicker.

His hand returns to your cheek, guiding your head to tilt to the side to gain better access to your lips.

A soft sigh leaves your nose and your own hand travels up to grab at his shirt gently, just needing to hold onto him in any way possible.

Minho responds to your sigh, his lips moving a bit faster against yours. Both of your lips part and close, moving like mirror images of one another. Every few kisses, your noses brush against one another, but it doesn’t deter you from your actions at all.

Slowly, your hand travels from his shirt up to his neck, running up the side of his flushed skin. He feels feverish to the touch and it only spurs you on to keep moving. At the contact on his own body, Minho lets out a tiny grunt against your lips, his kisses stutter for a moment but he’s back to kissing you after just a moment.

Up, up, up, your hand travels over his moving jaw, to his cheek, then moving back to thread in his soft, brown trusses of hair. God, everything about him is just so perfect. It’s like you’re combing your fingers through the softest of cotton.

His kisses are getting deeper, little sighs come from both of your mouths as the passion continues on. Minho’s body turns towards yours a bit more, his knees canting up and almost forcing your legs onto his lap.

Tentatively, you feel his tongue poke out from between his lips, licking gently at your lower lip. You don’t even hesitate to give him access to your mouth. A gentle moan claws its way up your throat as his tongue licks into your mouth.

The hand on your cheek grips you a bit tighter, holding your face to his– as if you would want to try and move away from Minho and his addicting kisses.

“I just can’t help it,” he whispers in Korean against your spit, soaked lips before capturing them once more. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Y/N.”

All you catch is your name and it sends a shiver down your spine. You don’t even need to know what else he said, his tone says it all. The way it comes out in a breathy exhale is enough to send your mind reeling.

“Please,” you murmur into his mouth before he presses his lips to yours once more with the same amount of passion and need in his actions.

More and more rain hits the glass doors, becoming the only sound that can be heard in the room except for your shared exhales, pants, and breathy moans.

Slowly, the kisses begin to calm down. Minho pulls away for a moment to take a long breath. His thumb moves to brush against your lower lip like a butterfly landing on a flower.

His eyes open just a crack, gazing down at your mouth with a hazy look in his eye. As he slowly catches his breath, he presses his forehead against yours, his fingers brushing along the heated skin on your face.

“Forgive me, I didn’t do things in order,” he whispers. “I should’ve taken you out first.”

Your eyes open and you look at him in confusion. “Hm?”

His jaw clenches before he swallows and he takes another long moment to look over your face, his features soft and welcoming.

There’s some movement as his other hand blindly pats around his lap for his phone. He can’t physically tear himself away from you long enough to even look down.

Another tiny laugh comes from your lips.

Your fingers move out of his hair to come around and gently run over his features, brushing against his jawline, to then trace up to his lips and up the length of his nose, memorizing each and every detail.

Minho melts into your touch, his face moving closer to your touch, seeking you out.

His hand finally finds his phone and he grabs it blindly, flipping it around in his lap and tearing his gaze away from your face to glance down at it.

Thumbs are flying across the screen to type at his translate app. He’s typing so quickly on his phone that you can't help but laugh a bit.

Before he’s able to turn the phone around, there are a few sharp knocks against the glass of the vestibule. The two of you practically jump out of your skin and your heads whip over to the doors.

Red and blue lights are flashing outside and it looks like two police officers are standing outside, peering in at you both. They wave when they see they’ve caught your attention.

Minho looks at the police officers, then to you, then back to the officers, and then back to you once more. His mouth opens and closes a few times and he tries to form a few words but you’re untangling your limbs from one another.

In a moment, you’re both on your feet as the officers work on unlocking the doors from the outside.

Minho gently grabs at your arm and you look down where he’s touching and your heart sinks a little. His eyes look a little questioning and desperate.

“Oh,” you say sadly. You shrug off his jacket, and hand it back to him. Minho’s eyebrows pull together and his lips part. He looks down at the jacket and then up at you.

“No,” he says firmly.

“Are you two alright?” The police officer calls inside in Korean.

“We’re okay,” Minho responds without breaking eye contact with you. He puts a hand on his jacket still dangling over your arm and pushes it back towards you.

“Minho?” you ask, looking at him and then at the officer approaching you both.

“We apologize for the delay, but we knew you two were safe, so we had to prioritize,” the officer says.

You blink at him blankly for a moment before then looking back at Minho.

“She’s a foreigner,” he says to the officer, finally looking away from you. “She doesn’t know Korean.”

“Ah,” the officer responds. “My apologies. You can tell her that she’s free to go.” He nods at the two of you and motions towards the door. You take his hint and slowly begin follow him.

Once again, Minho tugs on your arm and you pause, turning around to look at him. He’s holding his phone up to your face with a pleading look in his eye.

‘Can I please buy you a drink?’

A wide smile spreads across your cheeks and you can’t deny the relief that you feel inside your chest. The moment your lips twitch upwards, Minho immediately mirrors it.

“Yes,” you respond. “I love to go.”

He chuckles at your choppy Korean once more before taking his jacket out of your hands and wrapping you inside it once more. This time, he grabs the hood and pulls it up over your head.

With a satisfied hum, he nods and laces your fingers together.

“Come,” he says confidently.

“Lead way.”


Tags :
whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
3 months ago

I SWEAR WHEN I SAY THAT I CRY, I MEANT CRY UGLY WITH TEARS AND SNOT LIKE 😭😭😭 THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

The snow falls, we fall apart.

summary: when heartbreak looms on your life, and winter becomes a time you loathe, hyunjin helps you rewrite your memories with the season, and with it, everything you once believed about love.

genre: producer student!hyunjin x reader. roommates!au. friends to lovers. acute descriptions of heartbreak and general sadness. slow burn. hurt/comfort. healing and hopeless romantic hyune. very inspired by long for you so lots of pining and yearning. (wc: 13k)

warnings: mentions of alcohol. it is implied that reader was in an a very toxic relationship but no details are shared.

a.n: happy birthday to my hyunjin, my muse, my light. thank you for being so full of love that it made me love love again in return. this is i think my most personal piece, and i hope it reminds those who need it that love should be soft and kind, that it shouldn’t hurt, that it should heal not break. i love you guys and i love you my xi, writing this collab with you has been a true honor <3 also!! please listen to long for you while reading :,)

winter falls masterlist.

The Snow Falls, We Fall Apart.
The Snow Falls, We Fall Apart.
The Snow Falls, We Fall Apart.

You’ve only ever felt utter despair twice in your life.

First, when you were seven years old, playing hide and seek with your cousins at your grandma’s house. It was a warm summer afternoon, the air sweetened by pastries you devoured hours ago. You decided to hide in a wooden cabinet up in the attic, only to end up stuck there. The walls felt like they were closing in on you, the oxygen seeping away from the cracks underneath the door, leaving you deprived of air, of life.

Second, at twelve, when you've come to discover sorrow's new facet, clad in grief's heavy cloak. Your parents adopted a hamster for your birthday, but they did not know he had a terminal disease. You were distraught, to say the least, when you awoke to its still form, death claiming a frail heart unaware of its imminent fate.

And now, third, many many moons later, you are knocking on Hyunjin’s door a few minutes after midnight. It is cold out, tears tracing rivulets on your cheeks, your fingers tinted pink from roaming outside in the harsh winds, your heart much heavier than when you were a child. More grief-stricken, at your own hands, this time.

A disheveled Hyunjin opens the door, his blonde ash hair tousled and sticking upwards, a clear indication of the many times he had run his hands through it in fits of frustration. His gray hoodie zipped up hastily, revealing the silver cross necklace he was wearing, nestling perfectly against his honeyed skin.

You've always had an aversion to seeking comfort, saw it as revealing your deepest vulnerabilities to a world that isn't always kind. It was easier, much simpler to do so when you were a clueless child— when you sank in your cousin Lia's hold as she attempted to steady your breathing, when your mother cradled you in her lap after Pinky died.

It is much harder now, much more embarrassing because Hyunjin has never seen you this sad, never glimpsed your shadows that now swarm his doorstep, unannounced.

“What's wrong?” he quickly asks, eyes darting over your figure in a rapid search for visible wounds. He wouldn’t find any. All your injuries stem from within— blood doesn’t have to be spilled for your heart to weep.

You had rehearsed a lie as you walked up to his doorstep. You would say that your car broke down near his place and ask if you could stay over for the night. He would insist he could drive you to your place and you’d refuse, saying that it was too late and you did not wish to bother him. You’d sleep on the couch and slip away in the early hours of the morning.

Yet, it is the genuine worry etched in his eyes that dismantles the fortress you've hidden in, melts the lie in your throat, morphing it into a steel lump coiling in your throat. He looks concerned when all you’ve had directed towards you recently was anger. And you missed someone looking at you in care, not reproach.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” You admit, your voice shattered, fragments of your vocal cords scattered out in the wind like a broken mosaic, the sound of it scraping against your ears.

Blow one hurt. It felt like your body turned against you as it deprived you of oxygen. The sobs that escaped you once you perceived the light pained you, perhaps more than being confined in the darkness.

Blow two was even worse, it was your first time experiencing grief. It was too hard of a concept for your innocent heart to grasp, too complicated for you to find solace in anything as adults do.

You promised yourself that you’d reserve blow three for monumental agonies— big pains and big sorrows only. That’s how you managed to keep all your tears at bay for most of your life. Would they be worth losing your third sob for? No, you've always found the answer to be.

And in all the twisted scenarios you’ve conjured up in your mind, deaths and illnesses and the haunting tale of failure, you did not imagine that it would happen on Hwang Hyunjin’s doorstep. That you’d burst into sobs at the compassionate look in his gaze, and the sad smile he sent your way. As if he knew, as everyone did around you. That you had handed a knife to a serial killer and it was only a matter of time before he stabbed you in the heart.

Two weeks ago.

“I’m trying to understand you but you aren’t helping me,” Seungmin is frustrated as he paces relentlessly before you from left to right like a swinging pendulum. You sit on the couch, beholding only his shoes, avoiding his gaze that would reflect the truth you dare not confront.

“He’s sucking the life out of you, can’t you see that?”

You can, out of everyone that surrounds you, you can see it the most. You feel as if you are carrying a skin that isn’t your own, weighed down by a relationship that has taken everything from you. But admitting it is admitting that you were wrong, in trusting him, in loving him. You couldn’t bear it.

“We are fine!” you shout back, the defiance in your voice surprises even you. This is a familiar script with Seungmin, a recurring conversation spurred by your puffy eyes and diminishing appetite. He tells you, begs you to leave, but where could you go? How could you leave a home where you've shed all your treasured belongings at the door— your skin, your bones, your very self.

What place would welcome you now that you're stripped bare of your soul?

“When was the last time he made you smile, huh? All he does is hurt you, and you...” he chuckles incredulously, running his hand through his hair. “You are letting him.”

Deny, deny, deny.

“This isn’t true. He loves me,” the words taste foreign in your mouth like rusty metal dragging across your lips. A small voice whispers that love shouldn't feel like this, but you quiet it down.

“Are you hearing yourself? Yn, I…” he kneels before you, his hands resting comfortingly on your knees. This is Seungmin, your best friend of five years. You know he has your best interests at heart, you are even more sure of it when his voice softens, shakes slightly when he utters your name. “Yn, please. I’m trying to help you. Please.”

“I didn’t ask for your help,” you push away his hands, standing up. “I don’t want your help, and I don’t need it.”

You quickly leave Seungmin’s dorm, your heart heavier than when you entered it, foolishly hoping that he'd ignore your distressed state after yet another fight with your boyfriend. But Seungmin doesn't understand, no one around you does— you’ve gambled your heart, and you cannot stop drawing the cards, even in the face of losing strikes.

❁ ❁ ❁

Hyunjin offers you a cup of tea with a gentle smile and you grab the steaming drink from his hands. The smell of chamomile wraps around your senses, and your brain fizzles out for a second before the soothing aroma. But it is a fleeting respite, the tempest of your thoughts crashes back onto you with an unsettling force, causing you to almost drop the drink as your hands shake. You place it down the table without taking a sip.

“I’m sorry for coming unannounced,” you apologize, wincing at the intrusion, “I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“I always sleep late. Don’t worry about it,” he smiles, but you know it isn’t a genuine grin, because his eyes betray an unsubdued concern, refusing to morph into their usual moon crescents.

You’ve always thought that Hyunjin wears his emotions openly— when he laughed, he did so loudly, his boisterous giggles traveling around Seungmin’s dorm. When he hurt himself, everyone in the vicinity would know so from his loud yelps. And when something worried him, he would bite his lip, toying with the plush flesh to ease his nerves.

As he is doing now. Looking at you.

“We broke up,” you quickly say, and your words hang over you like a gloomy cloud. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you want me to fight him? I’ll bring changbin too,” he suggests a serious tone underlying his playful offer, and it manages to tear a reluctant giggle out of you.

“Changbin doesn’t know me well enough to fight for me,” you counteract and he shakes his head. “He’ll fight for me, I'm his princess.”

“Are you now?” The giggle escapes your mouth less forcefully, and the smile that graces Hyunjin’s face is a genuine one.

“I am. My proposal stands,” he extends his hand and you wrap your fingers around his palm. “Thank you, I’ll keep it in mind,” you smile but he frowns, flipping your hand around in his hold.

“You are freezing,” he whispers, using his other palm to rub warmth into yours.

“It’s fine,” you lie, slipping your hand out of his grasp, not feeling deserving of his kindness.

Wordlessly, Hyunjin stands, walking into what you assume is his bedroom. You only know of his place because you dropped off Seungmin here some time ago. You are too exhausted to even drink in the interior.

“Here,” he returns, handing you a navy hoodie of his and black joggers. “This will keep you warm at night.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, hesitating for a few seconds before speaking again. “Can you please not tell Seungmin, I... I can't face him right now.”

“Of course. I’ll be awake still if you do need something.”

Hyunjin’s clothing is warm, although peeling away your own garments felt like shedding layers of your skin, as if the fabric melted into your very flesh, just like memories from the day did. You have never felt this worthless before, discarded like a forgotten leaf on the roadside, one he stepped on for his own enjoyment, leaving you crushed in his wake, unable to fly away again.

Hyunjin’s rose perfume wraps around you, and you find relief in sleeping somewhere where your, his, scent was no longer around. You foolishly hope that if you close your eyes hard enough, you’ll manage to convince yourself that you’re someone else, tonight. Someone who isn’t tethered to the heartache, someone who can slip away from the clutches of a love that hurts more than hate could ever manage to do.

❁ ❁ ❁

Heartbreak isn’t beautiful, no matter how eloquently you try to dress it in the syllables of poetry, no words can soften the burn in your lungs, the searing ache that courses through your very core, reminding you that deep within, down to the fundamentals of your being and the most basic alchemy that ties your atoms together— you are unlovable. Whether you cut your hair or allow it to grow, change your heart, or leave it as it has always been, you will remain so.

You don’t remember much of the past week, blurry fragments here and there that float in your mind like a distorted water reflection. There is little room for memories when you are busy trying to remember how to breathe— one inhale in, one exhale out. The simple concept seems harder when there are unkind hands permanently lodged into your heart, squeezing it tight.

What you do remember is telling Seungmin through text the next day, because you couldn’t bear the way his eyes would soften if you spoke to him in person. No signs of surprise cast on his figure, because he knew that it was long coming, a train with one final inevitable destination— you in shambles, him okay.

You remember Seungmin cradling you in his arms when he came to see you, and you trying desperately to keep the tears at bay— too focused on pinching your arm to let Seungmin’s warmth radiate through your being, Hyunjin lingering uncomfortably by the entrance of his living room.

You remember begging Seungmin to grab your belongings from the apartment you shared with your ex because you were unable to face him, him, and everything that your old place spelled out for you. Stand in the ruins of what you once thought would be your permanent home.

And now, you watch as Seungmin and Hyunjin bring suitcases full of your stuff into the latter’s place. And you feel like an outsider in your own body, standing at the corner of the room gazing at utter destruction, unable to stop it, unable to mend it. Seungmin quickly reassures you that you could crash in his and Minho’s place until you find a new one to live in, already taking out his laptop to search for new apartments for you.

But you did not care for it, your eyes zeroed in on the satin shirt peeking out of your suitcase. The one he bought you on your first month anniversary. Back when love felt like a gentle feather running down your spine, and not a dull knife slicing away at your skin.

“This place's expensive too,” Seungmin sighs, rubbing his temple warily. Your logical best friend could not fix your heartbreak but he took it to heart to alleviate your other troubles. You would thank him for it, later, when your tongue finds enough will to move.

“What if you move in with me?” Hyunjin suddenly says and his words filtrate through the fog in your mind easily, as if he rehearsed them enough times so they’d roll out smoothly out of his mouth. “I mean, Felix is away for the next year since he went back to Australia. And I was looking for a new roommate anyway.” He shrugs and Seungmin turns to look at you, his eyes convey the question his mouth doesn’t articulate— is it okay with you?

“I don’t…” your voice is croaked, so you clear your throat. “I don’t want you to do things out of pity.”

“I’m not. If I was, I would've told you to move in with me for free. I still need you to pay rent,” he raises his eyebrows, a playful tease and you smile in relief, nodding, “Okay, I will. thank you.”

Heartbreak is ugly and all-encompassing, weaving through the roots of your heart and infecting each organ with its insidious touch. It renders you immobile, incapable of performing the simplest tasks, burdened by a weight unseen by the world. But you try your best, your very best to contain it.

You smile at the cashier as she hands back your money only to wonder if her soft, well-manicured hands would too crush a soul without remorse. You go to all your classes without fail but your mind is elsewhere, contemplating why the sun filtering through the windows no longer warms your skin. Can nerve endings perish when subjected to too much pain? What's left of life when you can no longer feel the caress of the sun?

You watch a movie at Seungmin's dorm but your mind is elsewhere, fleeting to this morning and how you refused to stay in the shower for more than three minutes because your thoughts might become haunting ghosts tempting you to follow them. You brush your hair and spray your perfume, only because you have to, because you live with Hyunjin and you wouldn’t want your sadness to taint him too. You wonder how long you’ll have to bear it. You wonder if it’ll ever leave you or if the veins in your heart have molded themselves after the pain and they wouldn’t know how to accept happiness anymore.

You greet Hyunjin as he walks past you, shaking your head when he asks you if you want to eat dinner with him, quickly retracting back into your room. You have ten unread messages and a pile of growing laundry you need to do, but all you can muster is to gaze at the empty walls, mirroring the void within you. Your mom told you to call her again and you don’t know how you’ll speak to her without bursting into a sob, how you’ll tell her that all it took was one person to break you. Or maybe it was two people, your hands and his tearing apart your flesh and bones. Maybe that’s the worst part about it. So you don’t call her.

And you only ever emerge from your room when you need to, just like now because your water bottle is finished and you need to refill it. You go to open the kitchen door when you hear Hyunjin’s muted shatter, Felix’s distinctive deep voice coming out of the phone speaker.

“Next you add the melted butter and stir it,” Felix instructs, the sounds of pots and utensils clinking in the background. You fidget slightly, mustering the strength to paint a fake smile on your lips.

“What next?”

“Sift the dry ingredients then add them to your wet mixture,” Felix explains, met with a few seconds of silence. You can almost visualize Hyunjin's perplexed expression, blinking rapidly in confusion.

“Explain it to me like I’m five years old,” he requests, prompting a small smile to etch itself onto your face.

“How are you surviving without me?”

“I’m not please come home,” Hyunjin sounds horrified as Felix’s rich chuckles fill the air. “Why do you suddenly want to make brownies anyway?” he then asks.

You go to open the door when Hyunjin’s response catches you off guard.

“They’re for Yn.”

Hyunjin's words resonate in the air, causing a hitch in your throat and Felix’s teasing whistles simultaneously, but Hyunjin is quick to stop him. “No, no, no, it’s not like that. They’re just a bit down and I remember them loving your brownies. So…”

It takes you a fleeting moment to dig the memory out of your mind, a year ago, right before your ex came to pick you up from Seungmin’s dorm. You had a bite of Felix’s brownies, a surprised gasp escaping your lips at its delicious taste, back when food had taste and happiness came easily to you. It was an insignificant memory, you did not imagine Hyunjin, out of everyone, would remember it.

But he did, and he’s now pacing before your closed door, contemplating how he’ll convince you to finally eat something with him. He throws a thumbs-up in the air for no one but himself, inhaling deeply before knocking on your door.

“Hey,” he greets with a hopeful smile, his gaze meeting your tired form. He hesitates for a second, clearing his throat. “Brownies?” You remain unmoving and he falters, “Hm? Please?”

“Sure,” you nod and a wave of relief floods through Hyunjin as you step out of your room. His joy is short-lived when he takes the brownies out of the oven, only to find them thoroughly burnt.

His mouth hangs agape, and he walks back shamefully to the oven, lowering its door only to scream inside of it.

“This will be more therapeutic,” you say, pointing nonchalantly to the fridge and he agrees, opening its doors and yelling once again in the much larger space.

Your melodic laughter fills the kitchen, Hyunjin’s embarrassment is suddenly a forgotten memory.

“I’m craving kimbap. Should we get it instead?” you propose, a touch shyly and he quickly agrees, afraid you’d change your mind and walk back to your room where he can no longer ensure you are okay.

Hyunjin absentmindedly dances along to the music blasting through the convenience store when a girl sidles up to his side, a saccharine grin on her lips as she looks up at him, “hi,” she greets and his tentative smile mirrors hers. “Hey.”

“Are you single?” she asks, her gaze briefly fleeting to the window. “I think you are really cute.”

“I’m…” he glances at you but you're suddenly engrossed in the ingredients of the tuna kimbap you are holding, pretending not to listen. “I am but I’m not interested, thank you.”

“Oh, come on,” she places a hand on his arm and he physically recoils. “Give me your insta and we could talk.”

“No,” he repeats, grabbing her hand to remove it when a loud voice startles him. “Baby, what’s taking you so— What are you doing?” Hyunjin watches in horror as the girl’s eyes grow wide, before she scrambles to the man’s side, feigning fear.

“He kept hitting on me when I said I had a boyfriend, baby.”

“What?” both you and Hyunjin gasped in comical unison. He would find it amusing if not for the escalating anger radiating from the man, who looks like he spends all his days in the gym. Hyunjin suddenly regrets not working out with Changbin.

The man strides towards Hyunjin. “Do you want to die?”

“No? there’s a misunderstanding,” he replies, swiftly standing before you and shielding you with his arm. “Your… baby,” he wiggles his finger in front of the man's face, “she was the one hitting on me!”

The man scoffs loudly, his face growing redder from the anger seething in him. “So you hit on my girlfriend and then accuse her of cheating?” His fist rises threateningly, prompting Hyunjin to step back, accidentally bumping into your chest.

“Wait, wait, wait! Let’s go talk outside, man to man,” Hyunjin pauses, his voice taking on a taunting edge, “unless you're too scared?” he smirks as he feels you pull at his shirt, whispering an incredulous- “What are you doing?” He shakes his head, grabbing your hand and leading you outside, throwing a sly wink at the man behind you now.

“Are you seriously going to fight him?” you ask, your gaze shifting towards the deranged couple who are about to step out of the grocery store. “No, of course not. I'm a lover, not a fighter.”

“You said you'd fight my ex,” you point out and his eyes soften surprisingly.

“You are an exception.” He looks back at the man, who's now walking towards you both. “But anyways, do you know how to run?” he asks and you frown, “who doesn’t know how to—” you pause as realization dawns on you. “No," you whisper furiously.

“Yes.”

“No,” you shake your head, horrified and he nods, eyes apologetic.

“Yes.” His fingers entwine with yours, he squeezes your hand once before he takes off running.

“Hwang fucking Hyunjin!” you shout and he looks back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. “I’m sorry Yn my face is too pretty to be beaten up.”

“He’s following us!” you yell, looking back horrified as the, even angrier, man runs after you.

“Well, run faster!”

“I’m wearing fucking slippers!” you curse and he giggles, tipping his head back, the wind slamming into you both, his hand never letting go of your own.

“Oh my god why is he still running!” you groan and Hyunjin picks up speed, moving you even closer to his sprinting figure

“I know, is it ever that serious?” he yells above his shoulder and you dig your nails into his palm.

“Shut up, this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so gorgeous.”

“So, you think I’m pretty too?” Hyunjin grins proudly and an incredulous laugh escapes your lips.

“Really? Is this what you’re getting out of this situation?”

“Silver linings, Yn, silver linings,” he shouts as you round a small alley, finally stopping to catch your breath. You both fall to the ground, heavy breaths escaping your chests.

“Holy shit, I’m not athletic at all,” he heaves, his eyes meeting yours. He expects to find anger lingering in your gaze but all he can grasp is your amused smile before you collapse into a fit of laughter, clapping loudly and clutching your stomach with your hand.

“Oh my god, I’m crying,” you laugh harder, wiping away at the tears falling from your eyes. Hyunjin’s weariness disappears in the blink of an eye— he did not realize how much he missed your smile until he glimpsed it again. And it is beautiful. Happiness looks beautiful on you.

“Idiot,” you hit his shoulder playfully, and his response is delayed for a few seconds, the warmth from your smile rendering him immobile.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, pulling you up. “Here, I’ll carry you home,” he squats slightly before you. “How impolite of me. How dare I make your majesty run.”

You shake your head, amused, before climbing atop his back, his warm palms holding your thighs securely. “Only because the slippers hurt my feet.”

You walk in silence for a while, your arms wound up around Hyunjin’s neck, the ghost of a smile still lingering on both your faces.

“They said it will snow tomorrow,” Hyunjin speaks suddenly and you stay silent for so long he starts to wonder if you even heard him.

“Mm? That’s nice,” your tone is melancholic, and he pauses at the peculiar sadness in it— as though you were trying to act nonchalant about something that has once meant the world to you.

“Don’t you like the snow?” he asks and your hold on his neck falters.

“I loved it. Loved ice skating and building snowmen.” Your voice is light and airy, like Hyunjin’s favorite mint chocolate ice cream. “But now it reminds me of bad times, bad memories.”

“I understand.”

Hyunjin knows what it feels like to relinquish parts of yourself you never wished to part from. For someone to grab your happiest places and to cast a gloomy filter atop them. Sometimes it is the loss of a season that hurts more than the departure of a person.

And Hyunjin loves winter.

He’ll do everything so that you’ll come to love it again too.

❁ ❁ ❁

Is it a nightmare if the person in it is one you once loved, looked forward to beholding with your gaze, hoping they’d never slip out of your reach? You don’t know, but you are growing tired of having the same dreams every night. Of waking up with an exhaustion that goes beyond your restless sleep but pleads from your soul to rest after almost a year of torment.

You sigh wearily, rubbing a hand through your face before walking to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. You find Hyunjin there, eating a cupcake while standing shirtless, scrolling through his phone. You blink at the sight.

“Hey,” you clear your throat and he startles, dropping the cupcake on the ground. He goes to pick it up only to bang his head on the table, a loud yelp escaping his lips. You barely contain your giggles as you walk to his side, rubbing your palm soothingly on his head. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you.”

“At least pretend you are sorry,” he mumbles, pointing to your amused smile and you chuckle, taking his hand and helping him to his feet.

“What are you doing up now?” he asks as he grabs some napkins to clean up the pink frosting smeared across the floor.

You hesitate for a few seconds before whispering, “Just nightmares. And you?” you quickly add, not keen on pushing the subject any further.

“I'm working on a song,” he explains, as his gaze lingers on your sunken eyes, weighed down by dark circles from too many sleepless nights.

“And the cupcake?”

“Some people need caffeine to function. I need flour.”

“I literally see you drink three americanos per day.”

“Okay well maybe I need both,” he admits sheepishly and you grin, drumming your fingers along the countertop.

“Can I sit with you while you work?” you ask quickly, before the words linger enough in your mouth that you no longer wish to spit them out.

The smile that Hyunjin sends you is kind, pushing the shadows of your nightmares just slightly out of reach.

“Of course, yeah you can. Don’t even need to ask.”

Hyunjin walks first into his bedroom, quickly slipping on a hoodie while you take in the interior. It is a quite simple room— a large bed with gray covers, and a desk filled with what you assume to be his producing equipment sits adjacent. But what catches your attention is the dried rose hung delicately on the wall, and the array of paintings surrounding it. You edge closer to it, drawn to the well-crafted paintings— a sun-drenched beach, a couple lost in an embrace so intimate their forms can no longer be separated, and an elderly pair riding a motorcycle, their love radiating vibrantly as if enclosed in eternal youth.

“You paint?” you ask, turning around to find Hyunjin watching you. He steps closer, enveloping you once more in the fragrance of his rose perfume.

“In my free time.”

“You are amazing, Hyunjin,” you compliment sincerely, your gaze fixed on that imagery of the old couple, one that most likely grew together. It tugs at your heartstrings, stirs a painful longing within you, a memory of a time when you too believed you’d find such boundless love.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, before brushing his fingertips gently against your forearm, for a fleeting second. “Are you okay?” he asks, a tenderness you’ve been aching for latched into his question. Your eyes refuse to peel away from the paintings and the love spilling from each paint brush stroke, a love that refuses to rest on your being as if you were harboring an armor that repels it.

“No,” you reply sincerely, turning to face him. “It’s really hard,” you say with a smile, hoping that the mechanical display of happiness would keep your tears at bay, tricking your brain into believing you're not as sad as you feel.

It fails to do so, and the tears well in your eyes like a gathering storm. Frustration twists your features as you shut your eyes, tilting your head upward in a desperate attempt to contain the flood. It pauses as Hyunjin cradles the back of your head, drawing you close to the warmth of his neck. His palm glides soothingly along your spine, before patting your back ever so gently.

Your back stiffens, hands curling into tight fists, breath catching in your throat. You've grown accustomed to pushing away comfort, putting up tall barriers to shield yourself. But tonight, Hyunjin seems to break through your defenses.

Tonight, you soften, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, head nestling deeper against his tender skin.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispers and another sob wracks through you, but he only holds you tighter. “It’ll get better soon.”

“I loved him,” you hiccup, your voice breaks, “a lot.”

“I know, that’s why it hurts.” His voice is gentle, and yet his hold on you feels secure as if you could stumble and fall, and he would be there to catch you

“I want it to stop hurting.”

“It will, with time.”

Your next words are tinged with a childlike vulnerability, reminiscent of blow one, then two. But you do not care for it, in that instant, you crave the reassurance, you need someone to plant a seed of hope in your soul because your hands are too frail to dig for it.

“Do you promise me?”

His response doesn’t come hastily, carelessly thrown into the air like idle chatters. He takes his time, considering it with the gravity of an oath.

“I promise you.” He finally says, each syllable infused with sincerity. A brief pause hangs in the air before he adds. “And if it doesn’t then you can hit me.”

“On your pretty face?” you ask, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.

“On my pretty face,” he confirms with a chuckle.

“What an honor,” you roll your eyes playfully as you lean back and he grins, tenderly wiping away your tears with the back of his fingers.

“I can't believe it took three minutes for you to cry in my room. This isn’t good for my reputation.”

“Good thing this will never leave this bedroom, right?” you point a finger at him threateningly, and he pretends to zip his lips, tossing away the imaginary key. “You got it.”

“So what are you working on?” you ask as you settle on the edge of his bed, knees drawn up to your chest.

“It’s a pretty sad song, wanna hear?” he offers, sitting across from you on his chair.

“Yeah, I'd love to,” you smile, and Hyunjin deftly adjusts a few buttons, before his melancholic whistles weave through the air, coupled with the somber melody of a piano. Your breath catches in your throat, the music reaching into the very depths of your soul. It's as if the notes are calling out for a loved one, for a time that has long passed, for a past that will never come back no matter how much we long for it.

The instrumental continues, each piano note and each violin string echo like a bittersweet lament, springing tears to your eyes. But the melody remains beautiful, akin to the beauty always found in the sadness— in the tears that cascade down your cheeks like glistening crystals, in the tremble of your hands akin to branches swaying in the wind, in the rise and fall of your chest with each breath, mirroring the ebb and flow of the waves.

Hyunjin watches you intently as the music envelops you both, his gaze softening with each passing moment. You bring a hand to your chest, almost unconsciously, too engrossed in the melody to even blink. He feels a blush sprout on his cheeks as your teary eyes hold his with the last fading guitar strings.

“You keep on making me cry,” you whisper, your voice choked with emotion, and he grins, tilting his head shyly against his shoulder.

“You like it?” he asks, a tad eager and you nod, not bothering to wipe the lone tears that are falling down your cheeks.

“I think this is what my loneliness sounds like,” you confess softly.

“As do mine.”

A silent beat runs between you both, it isn’t uncomfortable, but safe. Because you understand him, just as he understands you.

“Sometimes I long for things that have passed," he admits, “although I know I can't get them anymore.”

“The most terrible thing you can long for is yourself.”

“Because no one’s to blame for that loss but you?” he muses and you nod, a sad smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah, exactly.”

You bite your lip, casting a glance back at the paintings adorning the wall. “I don't love him anymore,” you begin quietly. “I stopped a long time ago because there was no room for love anymore to grow amid weeds and thorns.”

He remains silent, sensing that this is a weight you need to unburden yourself from.

“But in the midst of it I think I stopped loving myself too,” you whisper, a confession too terrible to be uttered out loud. “That's what I long for. The things I used to love that I'm indifferent to now.”

“Like you’re a stranger before everything once familiar to you.”

“Yeah, you express it prettily,” you remark with a small smile.

“It's my job,” he grins lightly.

“I think when your heart is pure,” he begins after a while, pausing to carefully choose the words that will soothe your burn, help sleep come more easily to you. “You give love to others more readily than you do to yourself. And it takes time, patience, to redirect that love back to your own heart once again. But it's not a mistake to love, you shouldn’t hate yourself for it. Nor should you blame your past self for loving the wrong person because they did not know what you now do.”

“Think of it as a caterpillar in their cocoon,” he continues gently, “when they finally emerge from their chrysalis, they might long for who they were, where they once were because it is the only place they've ever known. But they do not realize that they've transformed into a beautiful butterfly, that they can now fly, and witness much more than their chrysalis. So maybe, your new self will love the same things as before, or maybe you’ll find new, better things to love that you would have not known before. But in either way, your heart is beautiful. That is what matters, no?”

A small pout draws on your lips, your eyebrows scrunched as you gaze at him.

“You have a very tender soul, Hyunjin.”

Your words linger in Hyunjin's mind long after the sunrise, as you lay peacefully asleep on his bed. The melody of the instrumental he produced continues to play faintly in the background, serving as a gentle lullaby that eases you into slumber, entwined in his sheets, your arms wrapped protectively around yourself, one hand cradling your shoulders and the other resting gently on your stomach. The image sears into his eyes as he sketches the outlines of a figure holding itself absentmindedly, long into the night.

Hyunjin has had his fair share of compliments, mostly pertaining to his face, and others to his craft. but it is you who seems to have sensed that a part of his soul resided in his art, that he left pieces of his heart hidden in the notes he composes and the lyrics he writes, hoping they’ll find soft hands that will take care of them, just like your own.

Five days later.

hyunjin [11:34 p.m.]: are you home?

yn [11:34 p.m.]: yeahh, do you need anything?

hyunjin [11:35 p.m.]: come downstairs, im waiting for youu

if you say no i’ll freeze to death..

hurry i can’t feel my fingers anymore (please please) ㅠㅠㅠ

“This better be a life and death situation Hwang Hyunjin,” you say threateningly as soon as you appear before Hyunjin, causing him to straighten up from the wall he was leaning against.

“It is a very dangerous life-altering situation that requires your immediate assistance, indeed,” he responds solemnly, ushering you gently to his car and opening the door for you.

“Which is?” you ask as soon as he settles inside the car and he simply grins at you, his left dimple coming forth like the very sun on a gloomy day.

“You’ll see.”

Hyunjin’s eyes fleet to your figure every now and then, but you do not seem to notice, your gaze lost into the blurring lights ahead. He can tell you're still not entirely yourself, so he was prepared to forcibly drag you along with him. He’s almost surprised you accepted to come down so easily.

“Is that… Seungmin?” you speak suddenly, pointing to a man waving in the distance, as Hyunjin parks his car near an empty field.

“And Changbin? And Minho?” you continue, squinting your eyes, “and a bonfire?” you giggle with a hint of excitement.

“You love s’mores during the winter, right?”

Hyunjin smiles, your soul softens.

“I do,” you say quietly, “I really do.”

You quickly exit the car, running into Seungmin's arms with a grin of disbelief plastered on your face. “This is insane,” you almost shout, squeezing him tight in a hug.

“It was so hard to find the perfect middle of nowhere for this,” Minho grumbles as you move to greet him, but the warmth of his embrace assures you he's only teasing.

“Thank you,” you say with a smile as you hug Changbin, who affectionately ruffles your hair. “It was Hyunjin’s idea,” he reveals, and you glance back at Hyunjin, who stands with his hands buried deep within his sweatpants behind you. You mouth a silent “thank you” to him, but he shakes his head modestly as if it is nothing to bring happiness to a bruised heart.

The night unfolds in endless laughter, with Minho and Hyunjin taking turns roasting marshmallows over the crackling bonfire, and Seungmin serving you hot coffee to keep your hands warm. Your stomach aches from the uncontrollable fits of giggles that overtook your being as Minho recounts the time he danced so vigorously on stage for his dance club that he ripped his pants, feeling a breeze where there shouldn't be one; and Changbin tells you the story of the time his voice cracked in the middle of a rap battle, and how none of the boys stopped teasing him about it for months to come.

And as the four of them take turns making you laugh, a quiet, tender realization dawns on you—you are loved. It is something he tried to convince you was impossible, that no one around truly cared for you but him. And even then, you weren’t deserving of his love whole, only scrapes of it, as if you were a beggar tugging at the outskirts of his heart.

But Hyunjin reminded you otherwise. And if your friends found something worthy of love within you then perhaps so will you again, one day.

“Did you have fun?” Hyunjin asks as he opens the door to his, your, apartment hours later. What he doesn't expect is for you to respond by wrapping your arms around his slender torso, squeezing tight in gratitude.

“Thank you,” you whisper and he nods, though you cannot see him, returning the embrace by wrapping his arms around your shoulder blades.

Hyunjin doesn't let go first, sensing that perhaps you need this hug more than he does. He smiles as your eyes meet his again, but his grin falters when he notices your gaze flickering towards your bedroom, a hint of unease clouding your expression. It's as if behind that door lie monsters only you can grasp, wearing the faces of people you once knew, once loved.

“Wanna stay with me while I work on the song?”

“Last time I ended up sleeping on your bed,” you say a bit shamefully, recalling the morning you woke up to find yourself covered with a thick blanket that wasn’t there before, alone in Hyunjin's room.

“It's okay,” he shrugs, “I missed sleeping on the couch.”

You stare pointedly at him and he chuckles, “Fine, I did not miss it. But you needed the sleep, so it’s okay with me.”

“Fine,” you concede, though you did not need much convincing for it. “But only if you promise you’ll wake me up if I end up falling asleep again.”

Hyunjin tilts his head, thinking to himself for a few seconds before shaking his head stubbornly, a small pout drawn on his face, his eyes semi-closed. “No.”

“Hyunjin!”

“Nu-uh,” he insists, shaking his head once more as he walks back towards his room. “I'm waiting for you!”

“I'm not coming!”

But you do eventually join him, after changing your clothes and washing your face. You find Hyunjin clad in beige and white checkered pajamas, his glasses pushing back his silky hair as he hunches over his journal, scribbling away before erasing what he wrote.

“Struggling with lyrics?” you ask, leaning against the wall and he startles. “Do you float on the ground? Why can I never hear you come in?”

“Or maybe you just love being dramatic,” you sing-song, laying atop his bed, much more at ease than the previous night.

Hyunjin sticks his tongue out childishly in response, and you playfully mimic the gesture before both of you dissolve into happy giggles.

“Kind of,” he explains once you both settle down, “I have this specific feeling in mind that I need to convey.”

“You'll do well,” you reassure softly, “your lyrics are always so beautiful. Remember Cover me?” you smile and he scratches the back of his ear, a shy grin spreading across his face.

“You still listen to it?” he asks and you nod eagerly, attempting to belt into Seungmin’s ending high note. You fail horribly and Hyunjin throws a crumpled piece of paper on your face to get you to stop singing.

“My poor ears,” he laughs loudly, and you retaliate by throwing back a pillow on his head.

“You just don’t get my artistic abilities.”

“I’d get them more if you stayed silent.”

You gasp, faking offense as you stand up to tickle Hyunjin on his chair, he starts squirming immediately, his loud giggles spilling all over the room, coating it in vibrant hues of happiness, and you’re suddenly captivated by the sight of him— his head thrown back, a golden lock framing his laughter-filled eyes, his top lowering slightly to reveal glimpses of his collarbones and the delicate veins that trace enticing paths on his neck.

You pause, your hand hovering over the side of his stomach, as a long-forgotten warmth spreads through your heart, like the first rays of dawn greeting the earth after a long winter night. It doesn’t diffuse quickly through your being, but rather drapes like sticky honey on your veins, making you well aware of your growing blush, of how beautiful Hyunjin is in his joy.

“Never singing to you again,” you clear your throat, laying atop his bed once again, and quickly reaching for your phone, anything to avoid his eyes which rival the crescent moon outside his window.

Hours pass before a warm hand gently settles on your shoulder, rousing you from your slumber. Blinking away the fog of sleep, you find Hyunjin leaning over you, his grin wide and infectious. “Wake up,” he whispers, but you only groan, burying your face deeper into his pillow.

He doesn’t yield, taking hold of your wrist and guiding your drowsy figure upright, before wrapping the blanket snugly around your shoulders. Without a word, he leads you out onto his balcony, carefully putting his neon green beanie on your head to shield you from the cold.

“It’s snowing!” he smiles, and his excited tone manages to dissipate the fog in your mind. You blink repeatedly and soon enough, you too behold the fallen snowflakes, each one resembling a tiny speck of light bidding farewell to the sky to greet the earth.

“You missed the first snow so I didn’t want you to miss this one too,” he explains, and his thoughtfulness blankets you with a warmth that seeps into every crevice in your body, drips down your fingertips and makes the cold of 4 a.m. seem less harsh, less biting to the touch.

You don’t know how to say thank you, because those two words don’t encapsulate the depths of gratitude that you feel for Hyunjin. Because he is speaking to the person within you who still loves snow, the part buried underneath layers of dust from a ground heartbreak. But you still manage to hear him, and you squeeze his hand tightly, and he doesn’t let go until you finally do.

❁ ❁ ❁

Remembering has become easier for you these past two months— both the good and the bad. And each day, the scale tips towards one side or the other. Sometimes you recall the suffocation you felt with him, the feeling that no matter what you did you could never please him, that your hands were crafted to break rather than mend. And on those days your wound grows, it throbs and bleeds different emotions.

Sometimes it's anger— at him for treating your heart so carelessly as if you were a being devoid of feeling. And then at you— for staying, for giving him excuses and desperately searching for goodness within him, for the one redeeming quality that would convince you he was worth the pain.

And other days bring an excruciating sadness along, a weight that presses down upon you until you're paralyzed. Because you feel bad for yourself and for everything you went through. Because you’re unsure how to rise when unseen hands push you deeper into the abyss.

And on these days, Seungmin becomes your anchor. He buys your favorite food, skips classes with you, and takes you to your favorite gardens. He talks and he talks and you try your best to laugh because you do not wish to worry him more. It is enough to be your own burden, you do not wish to burden him too.

But when he drops you home, your facade slips away, the smile fading from your face as if it were never truly yours to wear. You are too tired to pretend so you don’t, and Hyunjin doesn’t let you, either. He brews you tea and orders takeout because he knows you lack the energy for cooking. He goes with you on walks and drapes you in pieces of his clothing— scarves and beanies and gloves because he knows you couldn’t care less about a cold when there is a frost coating your bones. He lets you sit in his room while he works on his songs, and while he paints. Sometimes you talk and often you don't need to. But he’s there. He's there with you.

But you also remember the good. You remember your movie night with the boys, Hyunjin building an entire fort for you, adorned with twinkling lights and the softest blankets. How you watched movies until 5 a.m. your bodies so closely huddled together that there was no room left for sadness.

You recall Hyunjin begging you to build a snowman with him at the crack of dawn, the two of you collapsing in fits of laughter as you threw snowballs at one another, your footsteps marking the fresh fallen snow.

You remember being so exhausted after one of your showers that you simply laid atop the couch, gaze fixed on the void, too drained to even untangle the knots in your hair. Yet, it is not the tiredness that you exactly recall, nor the salty tears you shed underneath the scorching water jet. But it is Hyunjin's tender hands as he brushed through your hair, his fingers tracing the nape of your neck, his knuckles ghosting over the slate of your shoulder. You remember whispering that it was a particularly hard day and Hyunjin understanding. You remember him watching many YouTube tutorials to prepare your favorite seaweed soup, only for it to end up being too salty. But you still ate it all, because he made it for you, to lift your wounded spirits. And that alone was enough for it to taste good.

You remember your heart hardening then softening again, breaking then stitching itself back together, closing off then blooming like flowers on the first day of spring. You remember smiling only to cry then smile again. And you remember liking snow, a bit more than you thought you would. Because Hyunjin was there, holding your trembling hand, steadying it enough for you to rewrite your memories with winter.

So, you want to say thank you.

You do not wish to spell it out, because there are too many things to thank Hyunjin for and too few words to do so. Instead, you drag him to the farmer’s market near your home, and you tell him to help you pick flowers.

“I could be in bed watching my favorite show and yet here I am bestowing you with my enchanting presence,” he sighs, not too modestly, as you both eye the array of colorful blooms.

“Okay, Shakespeare, are you done?” you roll your eyes, attempting your best to hide your grin.

“Done annoying you? Never. These are very pretty,” he adds, pointing to the white roses in full bloom, their delicate petals emitting a sweet fragrance into the air.

“I agree, what else should we add?” you ponder, picking out four roses.

“Mm, Hibiscus? The red in the center is so vibrant,” he suggests, taking out his phone to capture the flower.

“Cute. Baby breath’s would look good too,” you say as you gather the flowers, heading to the cashier with Hyunjin trailing behind, still admiring the delicate blooms.

“Can I write a note?” you ask the middle-aged man as he wraps the bouquet in a powder blue paper.

“Sure,” he replies with a smile, and you return the gesture, quickly jotting down your words.

“Are you done?” Hyunjin grins when you return to his side and you nod, exiting the flower shop.

“What do you think?” you ask, angling the bouquet towards him.

“It's beautiful.”

“It’s yours,” you smile, growing shier at the intensity of his gaze as it lands on you, then the flowers, then on you again. “Take it,” you hand it to him, your cheeks flushing like the hibiscus’s crimson core.

“Actually?” he says softly, his fingers trembling slightly as he accepts the flowers and you nod in response. You bite your lip as you watch him take out the note, his eyes softening once he reads the words inscribed in it— thank you for making my winter less cold.

“Should we go?” you say a tad too cheerfully, turning away, but Hyunjin grabs your wrist, spinning you around once more. His fingers trail up your arm, coming to rest gently on your cheek as he leans down to plant a tender kiss there.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, his lips lingering against your skin for a moment longer than necessary. You think that if his soft lips grace your skin a few times more, your nerve endings might forget the harshness they were subjected to. If his gentle hands remain on your cheeks, then maybe, your heart would heal quicker, better. Maybe your past self that you long for would emerge again, maybe Hyunjin would be able to unearth it.

Your hopeful thoughts disappear as quickly as they arrive, overshadowed by a sense of helplessness that crashes over you, all of the sudden. You sense him before you hear him, the familiar anxiety that is only synonymous with your ex’s presence.

“Yn?” the sound of your name feels harsher in his mouth, the syllables spat out rather than spoken tenderly, as they are when Hyunjin pronounces it. Your veins run cold as his voice pierces the air, your heart skipping three beats at once before plummeting to your knees. You wrap your hand around Hyunjin’s forearm instinctively, and he looks down at you, his expression morphing into one of concern.

You’re unsure of what he sees in you— whether it is your pale face, the quiver of your lower lip, or the fear that has coated all your features— but his eyes harden, his brows furrowing as he gazes at the man behind you.

You refuse to turn around, bracing yourself for his next words. “Yn,” he repeats his tone laced with anger, his fingertips grazing your arm as if intending to force you to face him. But before he can touch you, Hyunjin intervenes, swiftly stepping in between you and your ex, shielding you with his own body protectively.

“Leave,” Hyunjin's voice is cold, dripping with a venomous edge you've never heard from him before, his jaw clenching with barely contained fury.

“Is this your new shiny toy, Yn?” your ex taunts and his voice cuts through your being against your will, triggering a flood of memories you've tried so desperately to suppress. Memories of his cruelty, his manipulation, and the pain he inflicted upon you—using your love as a weapon to bolster his own ego.

“What's in it for you?” you find your voice again, though it trembles when you speak. He is the very embodiment of your pain and everything you loathe about yourself. You wish for the ground to swallow you whole, for a bolt of lightning to strike the earth, anything to spare you from facing him.

“It's only been three months, I didn't know you were a whore.”

Hyunjin's fist connects with his cheek before you can register his words. It all unfolds so rapidly that you barely have time to comprehend it. Your ex staggers back, blood trickling from the cut on his lip, while Hyunjin stands before you, his chest heaving with restrained anger, his right hand clenched into a fist, the bouquet still held tightly in the other.

“Fine, I deserved it,” your ex chuckles, his voice laced with mockery as he wipes the blood from his lip. His gaze meets yours briefly behind Hyunjin's back.

“You might not be a whore but you are unlovable, keep that in mind.” He spits out before walking away, crude words that tear at every scab covering your wounds, reopening them with a brutal force. Hyunjin moves to follow him, but you grab his shirt, pulling him back.

“He’s not worth it,” you murmur.

Your words seem to snap Hyunjin out of his haze as he turns to look at you, worry cast across his figure. He moves to cradle your cheeks but you step back, refusing to meet his eyes. He swallows thickly, clutching the bouquet in his hands. “Are you okay?”

You let out a heavy sigh, your shoulders slumping as you shake your head slightly. “Let's just go home,” you whisper, eyes fleeting to his for a split second. All the lights in your gaze are muted.

You’re crumbling before him once again and he cannot stop it, no matter how much he yearns to.

It's long past midnight when you find yourself seated on the floor of your living room, a bottle of red wine placed between you and Hyunjin. You exchange it wordlessly, taking turns sipping from it, the alcohol warming your insides but doing little to ease the ache in your heart. You don’t exactly recall when Hyunjin sat next to you, but you don’t mind. You were too lost in your own thoughts to even register his presence.

“Yn,” he calls out softly and you hum absentmindedly, memories of when your ex spoke your name haunting you, each time he yelled your name, uttered it in disdain as if it was the starting point of everything wrong with you.

“Talk to me, please?” he pleads, angling his body towards your own. But you refuse to meet his eyes and Hyunjin’s heart twists in his chest. He is afraid of all the ugly thoughts that must roam your mind. He wishes he could enter it, open the windows wide, and usher the light in.

“I'm sorry you were dragged into this,” you say, your gaze fixated on the bouquet placed atop the table. The crimson painted on the hibiscus’ petals reminds you of the blood that spilled from your ex’s mouth, and your gaze fleets to Hyunjin's hand, slightly bruised from the punch.

“Don’t apologize,” he whispers, “there is nothing to be sorry for.”

It’s as though you don’t hear him, your fingers trailing gently across his scraped knuckles, tears pooling in your eyes the more you stare at his hand.

“Does it hurt?” you ask, voice thick with emotion, and Hyunjin’s quick to shake his head. “No, don’t worry about it. He deserved it.”

“You didn’t deserve to be hurt.”

“Neither did you.”

Your disbelieving scoff that follows scares him. What if you’re slipping away into a dark place yet again, one void and barricaded, in which the only sound that echoes is your ex’s hurtful words? What if he can’t reach you again?

“If the only person I’ve ever loved says I’m unlovable then maybe I am.”

You’re drunk, you wouldn’t have said such an ugly thing otherwise, wouldn’t have allowed this sentiment to materialize into the air, to take a tangible form apart from your abstract thoughts.

“No,” Hyunjin says in a panic as though he’s trying to quickly pull the brakes on your free-railing thoughts. He cups your face between his palms, your tears falling freely atop his hands but he does not move away.

“No,” he repeats, more calmly this time. “How he treated you is a reflection of who he is. And how you see him is a reflection of who you are. And you wanted him to be loving because you’re full of love. You wanted him to be good because you are a good person. And he can’t stomach that, can’t stomach that you are happy without him so he’s trying to ruin you again.”

“Hyunjin…” you shake your head but he only inches closer to you, his thumbs gently caressing your cheekbones. “No, listen to me. Seungmin loves you so much he couldn’t eat properly for the first few days you stayed here, texted me all the time asking me how you were and if you were feeling better. He isn't good with words so instead he tries to make you laugh. He wishes he could give up parts of his happiness for you.”

A sob swells within you but Hyunjin presses on. “And Minho, he tried to memorize all your favorite recipes so he could cook them for you. It isn’t a coincidence that every time we go over to their dorm it is your favorite food that we eat. He takes more pictures of his cats these days so he could send them to you because he knows it cheers you up.”

“You told me Changbin doesn’t know you well enough to fight for you but when we saw your ex across the campus one day he wanted to get up and beat him. He always asks me if you are well and if there is something he can do for you, anything.”

He inhales deeply, tears welling up in his eyes as well. “And me…” a tender smile graces his lips as he gazes at you, “you make this house a home. I feel like my true self when you are around and loneliness doesn’t come to me as often as it did. Because you are here. You are like a beam of sunlight that lightens up every life you touch, mine first,” he’s baring his soul to you, vulnerable yet resolute. “So tell me, Yn, what’s not to love in you when you yourself are so full of love?”

“Hyune,” you speak the nickname for the first time, and Hyunjin’s heart thrashes achingly around his ribcage. “If you keep talking like this I might end up loving you,” you smile sadly at him as if it is a terrible thing to be loved by you.

“But I don’t want to love you, because I won’t know how to, not anymore. So I'll end up leaving. And I'll long for you, and I don't think I can stomach longing for you from afar.”

“So please,” you place one hand atop his own, wipe away the lone tear rolling down his cheek. “Don’t make me love you, hm? You deserve more than to be loved by someone like me.”

You leave Hyunjin in the living room, alone before the white flowers you gifted him. He doesn’t want to put them away in a vase, for as soon as he grabbed them from your hold, everything around you both crumbled. So he leaves them there for the night, the creamy white petals aglow underneath the moonlight. He spends the night painting the bouquet from memory, but the petals end up too tinged with red, perhaps mirroring the blood his heart refuses to stop spilling still.

He did not realize it before, maybe he blinded himself so he wouldn’t see what was before him all along. But it is all the clearer to him now— that in his attempts to make you love winter again, Hyunjin only ended up loving you.

A week later.

hyune [1:25 a.m.]: i miss you

You and Hyunjin spent the last seven days avoiding one another, well you more than him. He just understood your silent plea when you took a step back the one time he tried to talk to you in the kitchen, swallowing thickly before inching away, allowing you to move past him.

You did not know how to face him after what he said, partly because you were embarrassed by your own response, mostly because even in your drunken daze, his words etched themselves permanently into your memory.

It is his reassuring words that echoed in your brain for the past week, not those of your ex.

hyune [1: 26 a.m.]: and i miss sleeping on the couch

You giggle, shaking your head before replying.

yn [1:26 a.m.]: no you don’t

hyune [1:26 a.m.]: no i don’t ㅠㅠ

but i finished the song

wanna hear?

Walking to Hyunjin’s room feels as familiar as going into your own. And when your gaze finally meets his you can’t help but break into a relieved smile. It was foolish of you to punish yourself, enough people have done that for you already.

“Hey,” he greets tentatively, and you respond with an awkward wave, a moment pregnant with anticipation passes before both of you dissolve into laughter.

“What is this? Are we in middle school,” he teases and you giggle, settling comfortably on his bed once more.

“I know. We are so lame.”

“You are,” he corrects with a grin and you gasp, pretending to leave but he quickly catches your hand, stopping you. “No, please stay. I meant it when I said that I missed you,” he repeats quietly, as if afraid that his confession would make you run away once again.

Your heart aches, the knots in your stomach tightening and unraveling all at once. “I missed you too,” you admit softly, and he smiles, his thumb tracing a gentle path above your pulse before releasing your hand.

“So it's done then?” you ask and he nods, running a hand through his hair with a hint of anxiety. “How do you feel about it?”

“Good. I hope you’ll like it, mostly.”

“I'm sure I will,” you reassure him with a soft smile, and he nods once more, pressing a few buttons before his melodious whistles fill the air once again.

Nothing could have braced you for the sound of Hyunjin's voice that followed, its timbre soft as silk yet imbued with profound sorrow. It's as though he recorded the song on one of his loneliest nights, his honeyed vocals dipped in an excruciating nostalgia that seeps into every corner of the room, every corner of your heart.

In the faded photo, I come across a smile spread across a youthful face, overlapped with the seasons.

Your gaze flickers to Hyunjin as a shadow of recollection dawns on you. You remember telling him that you couldn’t stomach looking at pics of your past, ones in which you smiled so freely because you were blissfully unaware of what was to come.

The night’s so cold that it’s almost unreal.

Because you weren’t aware of the winter that will follow and the biting cold that it would bear, for everything that will go astray in your relationship, for your ex's facade to crack like a glacier succumbing to the pressure of lies and pretense.

I wake up in another silence, and I close my eyes.

You remember Hyunjin confessing that silence haunted him more than words ever could, and you had agreed, sharing how sometimes you shut your eyes, pretending that the reality you woke up to wasn't the one you were living.

The white flower we planted together has bloomed. I do not dare pick it. Now it withers away.

You gaze at the white flowers you brought him, now wilted in the vase placed on his desk, yet Hyunjin refuses to throw them still. You see the card you wrote for him hung on the wall, right next to the dried red rose. He kept it. Though it withered, he kept it all.

So I long for you. And I long for you. And I'll long for you.

You remember the longing you both spoke of, how he understood a feeling you felt so incredibly alone in. How he tried to reassure you when he too was caught in the webs of the past. How you longed for him in the past week. How you wished he longed for you just the same.

So I can keep loving you. So I could be loving you. And morе.

The violin swells and so does the emotion in your chest. You remember him asking you ‘What’s not to love in you’ and how you've spun those words in your thoughts ever since. You remember thinking that if he gave you a few more weeks, just a bit more time, you might have found it in you to believe them.

You see Hyunjin’s glimmering eyes holding yours, you see his heart atop a platter handed to you, and you see the resignation in his being. Don’t make me love you, you told him. You didn’t dare to tell him not to love you in return, deemed it too foolish of thought to entertain.

For he was Hwang Hyunjin, the quiet producer who paints in his free time and who wears his heart on his sleeve. Who remains hopeful, loving, and tender, despite the thorns pricking at his side. Who is beautiful, so much so that he allowed you to see beauty in the universe once again, through his eyes.

How could he love you?

How could you not love him?

“The song,” you whisper, the words barely escaping your lips as you stand, trembling, on your feet. Hyunjin rises too, meeting you in the center of his room.

“It is about you. For you,” he says simply as if his words don’t cause your world to burst at the seams only to mend itself once again, too eager to fix itself and exist in the same timeline as Hyunjin.

“I don't… I don’t know what to say,” you say earnestly, feeling your heart pound in your chest, its beats resounding loudly in your ears.

It is wrong of you to assume he wishes you to say something. He is Hyunjin, the one who finds words in your silences too, after all.

“I don’t need you to say anything,” he shakes his head, taking another step closer to you. “I don't want an answer, I don't wish to pressure you. I just wanted to tell you that my love is here, it is yours to take or to leave, to cherish or to discard. But it is yours, because this is who I am. I am someone who loves you.”

“So do not tell me to forget you because I don't know how to. And don’t tell me that you’ll leave because I will love you still, because you’d still be you, near or far, you are you. And you are someone I long for.” He pauses, his voice softening. “And I long for you, Yn, more than anything I've ever longed for. And I've spent all my life longing.”

His lips meet your forehead tenderly, and you feel your entire being grow limp at the chaste kiss, as if your limbs wish to liquefy and form a puddle on the floor. His touch is soft, and you miss it the moment he parts from you.

“There must be something in this room that keeps on making you cry,” he smiles and you bring your hands to your damp cheeks, surprised to find there tears you didn’t realize had fallen.

“It’s you,” you pinch his arm playfully and he squirms away from your hold, stabbing his toe on the desk in the process. A loud fuck echoes around the room, and your laughter dissipates the tension clinging into the air.

“Can you play it again?” you request softly and Hyunjin’s theatrics fade as a shy smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Is it good?”

“It's everything to me.”

“It's called ‘long for you’, by the way.”

“Long for you,” you repeat quietly. There has never been a prettier combination of words.

The title all but makes sense as you lay on the bed, your gaze fixed on the paintings hung on the wall, Hyunjin sketching quietly on his desk, the song resonating softly in the background. You've longed for many things in your life—the person you once were and the tender love you once craved—but amidst it all, nothing has weighed heavier on your heart than the longing for the man sitting just two meters away, almost in your loving grasp. Almost.

❁ ❁ ❁

It is an excruciating five days that Hyunjin spends apart from you, the both of you too caught up in your assignments to find a moment to properly speak. But you do not shy away from him when he greets you, and your grin is kind as it drapes across his being, and Hyunjin swears he has never seen a prettier sight than you smiling.

On the sixth night, Hyunjin completes the cover for the song— a figure wrapped around itself protectively, mirroring the way you hug yourself in your sleep. He hangs it on the wall, right next to your thank you card and the white bouquet he drew once again, wishing to properly immortalize its beautiful flowers, to purify that memory from the tumult that followed it.

On the sixth night, the house is quiet, the full moon high up in the sky, snowflakes falling softly to the ground. Hyunjin wonders if you too mimicked the snow’s descent— both of you falling apart with it.

But then, there’s a knock on his door.

His heart catches in his throat, his body freezing as if it forgot how to move. You are here.

“Come in,” he manages to say, his voice barely above a whisper. You push the door open, and Hyunjin's words wilt on his tongue as he sees what you're carrying—another bouquet, filled with white flowers, yet again.

“Hey,” you smile, standing by the door.

He remains silent, unsure of what to say, or how to speak. He longs for you when you are away, even more so when you’re before him.

“We shouldn't let these white flowers wither away too, right?” you smile slightly, placing the bouquet on the desk before walking to Hyunjin’s bedside. His voice falters, vocal cords refusing to move and overshadow your voice.

You sit beside him, gently pulling his hand so that you’d both lie on the pillows. Your hand doesn’t leave his own, instead, it moves to rest on his cheek, reminiscent of the many times he had cradled your face before. Inch by inch, you close the gap between you, nuzzle the tip of your nose against his own. “Hi, Hyune”, you say softly, and he swallows thickly, his voice coming out just as quietly.

“Hi, my Yn.”

“If we take care of the white flowers together do you think they’ll survive a bit longer?” you ask, your gaze never wavering from his, countless stars twinkling in the depths of your irises.

“I believe so,” he says tentatively, too aware of the warmth of your palm against his skin, of the sweet ache unfurling within his being.

“Mm, and even if they wilt we can always buy new ones. We can learn how to care for them better, with time,” you say, and he nods in agreement, laying his hand atop your own, tilting his head to bestow a chaste kiss on your palm.

“With time,” he echoes softly and you smile, vulnerable yet secure in his gray sheets, in his hold.

“Will you give me time too?” you ask, and Hyunjin reads in your eyes what you mean, understands in the shake of your voice the question you are too afraid to voice. Will he give you time to heal in order to love?

“As long as you need. I’m not going anywhere,” he reassures, pressing his forehead gently atop yours, and you both close your eyes, as a running warmth encloses you both, blooms a blush on both your cheeks.

His arms wrap around your back, drawing you close until your chests are pressed together, your head resting naturally in the curve of his neck. And it is long forgotten in your mind, all the nights you slept in this very bed alone. You feel safe, safe enough to long for love knowing that it patiently awaits you behind the door, once you find enough courage to turn the doorknob. You feel serene, as Hyunjin’s warm palms glide soothingly up and down your spine, as every muscle, every nerve, every atom in your being relaxes in his hold.

You are healing, slowly, with each fleeting second that passes in which Hyunjin’s heartbeat resounds within your chest, as its melody runs through your veins, melds with your own as if it was destined to be there all along. As you rest in Hyunjin, as you find a safe home within his soul to discard your worries at the doorstep and breathe.

“It did get better,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade. “Hm?” He leans back to look at you, and he’s so beautiful, so tender as he gazes at you, you can’t help but trace the contours of his face with your fingers, hoping to commemorate him with your eyes, with your touch.

“You promised me it’ll get better, and it did,” you smile, as your legs further intertwine with his, and his rose perfume becomes an indelible mark on your skin. “Too bad I can't hit your pretty face now,” you joke and he giggles, tipping his head back.

He's so beautiful, body and soul, and he longs for you, you alone.

“But I can still do this,” you murmur before finally pressing your lips against his like a boat finally reaching the shore after months of sailing. You both exhale, in yearning, in relief, as your mouths move together in a slow, languid dance, his hand finding the pulse on your neck, yours settling atop his jaw.

He would kiss you again, this intimately, in the coming months, when your heart expands enough to contain the love Hyunjin deserves. He would kiss you again, when your past comes to haunt you, and healing sounds like an elusive myth you’d never encounter in your life.

And he would kiss you again, over the kitchen table and under the fridge’s light, in between paintings and in supermarket aisles, while picking flowers and watching the first snow.

He would kiss you, this tenderly, in the next winter, and the ones after it, as if his longing for you never wanes. Till blow three disappears from your memory, till all you remember is the love, the true one, the kind one, the soft one Hyunjin alone could have brought you.


Tags :
whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
3 months ago

I forgot to repost and just remember today when I go back to my likes. This is so good like subby hannie is legitly my bae <3 plz go read them if you are interested. Im begging on my knees 😫😭

Five Minutes | Han Jisung

Five Minutes | Han Jisung
Five Minutes | Han Jisung
Five Minutes | Han Jisung
Five Minutes | Han Jisung

ᑉ³pairing; sub! han x dom Reader

ᑉ³genre; Smut

ᑉ³warnings; SMUT MDNI,Dom reader, sub Han, dirty talk, swearing, fingering, oral ( f reciving), p in v sex, overstimulation, Smut. SMUTTT minors do NOT interact

ᑉ³Authors Note; Last day of kinktober collab <3 ty ty ty so much for reading. Unedited so please let me know if somethings wrong.

Part of the kinktober collab with @dandelions-143 Kinktober masterlist

Five Minutes | Han Jisung

The clock ticked softly in the background as you sat at your desk, fully immersed in your work. A deadline loomed overhead, and you were determined to finish everything before the night ended. Your fingers flew across the keyboard, each click pulling you closer to the finish line—until a familiar presence crept into the room.

“Baaabe…”

Han’s voice was a low, drawn-out whine, the kind that tugged at your heartstrings but also made you want to sigh in frustration. You didn’t even need to look up to know what was coming next.

“I’m busy, Han,” you said, trying to keep your tone firm. “This deadline isn’t going to finish itself.”

“But I’m so bored…” His voice came closer, and before you knew it, his hands were resting on your shoulders, thumbs gently massaging your tense muscles. “You’ve been working for hours,” he complained, leaning his head against the back of your chair.

You exhaled sharply, pausing your typing just long enough to glance over your shoulder at him. His pout was in full effect, his bottom lip pushed out in a way that was both childish and undeniably cute. But still—you had work to do.

“I have to finish this,” you said again, turning your attention back to the screen. “I’ll hang out with you after.”

Han let out a dramatic groan, sliding his arms around your shoulders, resting his chin on top of your head. “But I want attention now,” he whined, his voice dipping into that soft, sulky tone he used when he was feeling extra clingy.

You stifled a smile, trying to stay focused. “You sound like a five-year-old,” you teased.

He pulled back slightly, but you could still feel his presence hovering behind you. “I do not,” he muttered, though you could hear the playful edge in his voice. “I’m just a man who misses his girlfriend, is that such a crime?”

His hands slid down your arms, fingers grazing your wrists as he gently but persistently spun your chair around to face him. You raised an eyebrow, and Han met your gaze with a smirk. Despite his whiny behavior, there was something undeniably charming about the way he looked at you, a glint of playfulness in his dark eyes.

“Five minutes,” he bargained, holding up his hand. “Just give me five minutes, and then I swear, I’ll let you get back to work.”

You stared at him, trying to gauge how serious he was. “You said that last time, and then five minutes turned into an hour.”

Han grinned sheepishly. “Okay, but this time I really mean it.”

You sighed, knowing full well that you were losing this battle. “Fine. Five minutes. And then no more distractions.”

Without another word, he tugged you up from the chair and pulled you into his arms, wrapping you up in a tight embrace. He buried his face in your neck, his lips brushing lightly against your skin. “I just need you close,” he murmured, his voice softer now, more sincere. “It’s been a long day.”

You softened at his words, leaning into him as his warmth seeped into you. “You’re so needy sometimes,” you whispered, though there was no real bite to the words.

Han chuckled softly, his breath warm against your neck. “Yeah, well, you signed up for this when you agreed to date me.”

You rolled your eyes, though a smile tugged at your lips. “I didn’t think it meant you’d constantly be distracting me from important work.”

“I’m important work,” he said with a wink, pulling back just enough to look at you. His hands moved to cup your face, his thumb gently brushing your cheek. “Come on, admit it—you’re glad I’m here.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, pretending to think about it. “You’re kind of a distraction… but a cute one.”

For a moment, he just looked at you, his eyes warm and full of affection. Then, with a sly grin, he tugged you down onto the bed, pulling you into his lap.

“Hey!” you protested half-heartedly. “I said five minutes, not a full-on cuddle session.”

“Five minutes of cuddles is what I heard,” Han said, settling you comfortably against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “Besides, you need a break. You’re too tense.”

You wanted to argue, but the truth was that his embrace was already melting away the stress that had been building up all day. His fingers traced gentle patterns on your back, and you felt yourself relaxing despite your best efforts to stay focused on work.

“Fine,” you mumbled, resting your head against his shoulder. “But after this, I really do need to get back to it.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” Han said, though the teasing lilt in his voice made it clear he had no intention of actually letting you go anytime soon.

The two of you sat there in comfortable silence, the soft rise and fall of Han’s breathing lulling you into a sense of calm. His hand stroked through your hair, and for a moment, the weight of your deadline seemed far away.

“I’ll let you go in a minute,” he whispered into your ear, his lips brushing your temple. “I just… I like having you close.”

Your heart squeezed at his quiet confession, the vulnerability in his voice so different from his earlier whining.  Han leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a gentle, lingering kiss. His hand slid up to cup your face, fingers resting lightly against your cheek as he deepened the kiss, slow and deliberate. It wasn’t rushed or demanding—just soft, sweet, and full of affection.

You sighed against his lips, all thoughts of work slipping further from your mind as you melted into the kiss. The way he held you, the warmth of his body against yours, the tenderness of his touch—it was impossible not to get lost in him.

  He pouts, looking at you with those big brown eyes and you can feel yourself melting. "Please, n-n-n...I need it. I need you." his voice is barely above a whisper, but the pleading is clear in his tone.

As his lips brushed yours again, his hands slid down your back, coming to rest on the curve of your waist. He squeezed lightly, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. You could feel your resolve weakening with every passing second, your body responding instinctively to his closeness.

"Han," you breathed, the name escaping your lips without conscious thought. It was a plea, a surrender—and you both knew it.

He pulled back, a hint of a smirk on his lips. "Yes?" he asked, feigning innocence.

"You're making it very difficult for me to say no," you admitted, a blush spreading across your cheeks.

He laughed softly, a low, rumbling sound that vibrated through his chest. "Then don't say no," he said, his gaze fixed on yours.

Your heart fluttered at his words, at the look in his eyes. It was the same look he'd given you the first time he asked you out, the same look that made your knees weak and your head spin. You knew you should resist, that you should pull away and get back to work, but the temptation was too strong.

You start to place kisses on his neck.

His skin was warm under your lips, the faint scent of his cologne filling your senses as you kissed along the column of his neck. You could feel his pulse quickening, his breath catching in his throat as your mouth found the spot just below his ear.

You continued kissing his neck and ears, then started sucking on the base of his neck.

He groaned softly, his eyes fluttering closed as his head tipped back, giving you better access. Your lips moved lower, trailing down the front of his shirt until you reached the top button.You paused, looking up at him through your lashes.

His eyes opened, and the desire burning in them sent a thrill through you.

"Go ahead," he said, his voice thick with arousal. "I won't stop you."

You popped open the first button, exposing a tantalizing glimpse of his bare chest. Your mouth watered as you leaned in to plant a kiss on the newly exposed skin, eliciting another low groan from Han.

"More," he urged, his grip on your waist tightening.

You worked your way down his shirt, taking your time as you revealed his toned torso inch by inch. By the time you reached the last button, he was panting, his eyes hooded with lust. You could see the outline of his erection straining against the fabric of his pants, and the sight sent a rush of heat straight to your core.

"Like what you see?" he teased, his lips quirking into a smirk.

You nodded, unable to find the words. Instead, you leaned in and pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss to his chest, your tongue darting out to taste his skin.

Then you pull back, standing up like nothing happened.

"W-wait. Where are you going?" Han says.

"Back to work." You reply.

"But- but"

"Han.."

"Please- please.. ill.. ill do all the work.. please" he says as he walks towards you and starts kissing your neck.

Your face flushes red. "H-Han.."

"Just.. one round.. please.."

You bite your lip.

"Pleas-e..."

You sigh.

"On your knees," you command, your voice firm and authoritative. He complies immediately, his eyes never leaving yours . You can see the hunger in his gaze and it only makes you want him more.

As soon as he's in position, you remove your shorts, leaving you in your panties. You can already see a wet spot forming, betraying just how turned on you are. You take your time, making a show of taking them off. You're sure he's getting impatient, but it's worth it to see the look of pure desire on his face.

Once they're off, You step closer, your thighs brushing against his face. You can feel the heat of his breath against your skin, and it takes everything in you not to moan.

You lean forward, grabbing a fistful of his hair. You tug on his hair, tilting his head back, and he gasps, his eyes wide and dark with lust.

   “What do you want, Han?” she asked, her voice low and sultry.

    Han whimpered, his eyes flicking down to your cunt. He licked his lips, his cock twitching in his pants.

    “I want to taste you,” Han begged, his voice trembling. “Please, y/n. I need to taste you.”

"You want to taste me?" you ask, your voice low and husky.

"Yes," he breathes, his voice already sounding wrecked. "Please."

You can't hold back any longer.

"Then do it."

You feel his tongue on you, tentative at first but quickly growing bolder. He explores every inch of you, tasting and teasing, and it's takes all of you to stay standing.

Your hand tightens in his hair, urging him on. He responds with enthusiasm, his tongue dipping inside of you and drawing a moan from your lips.

It's not long before you're trembling, your legs threatening to give out. But you dont want to let him win.

You yawn, feigning boredom as he continues to lick your pussy.

"Are you gonna keep playing games or are you gonna make me cum?"

He moans against your clit, the vibration sending a jolt of pleasure through you. You bite your lip, struggling to keep up the facade of nonchalance.

You pull back slightly, forcing him to look up at you.

"Are you going to make me cum?" you ask, your voice breathless.

He nods, his eyes glazed with lust. "Yes," he pants. "Yes, I am."

Your grip on his hair tightens and you grind against his mouth, his tongue finding your clit and working it with expert precision.

"Did you forget you had fingers?" you say

"No-no," he replies between licking. "s-sorry"

You let out a sharp gasp as he slips a finger inside of you, curling it just right. You feel a familiar heat pooling in your core, the pressure building as he works you closer and closer to the edge.

   You lean your head back, your eyes closing as you enjoy the feeling of his fingers inside of you. "That's it, Han," you moan, your voice filled with pleasure. "Just like that."

    He starts to finger you faster, his fingers sliding in and out of you with ease.    "Han," you moan, my voice filled with pleasure. "I'm close. Don't stop."

 He doesn't. He keeps fingering you, his fingers moving faster and faster. You can feel your orgasm building up, your body tensing up as you get closer and closer. You know you wont last much longer.

"Do you deserve my cum, Han?" you asked, your voice dripping with dominance.

 Han whimpered, his eyes pleading. "Yes, pleas..please. I'll do anything for your cum."

You smirked. "Then make me cum, Han. Show me how much you want it."

Han eagerly went back to work, licking and fingering you with renewed vigor. It didn't take long for you to reach your peak, your body trembling with pleasure as you came hard on Han's face. Han eagerly lapped up every drop, savoring the taste of your orgasm.

 But you weren't done with him yet.

 'Good,' You said, your voice softening slightly. 'Now, take everything off.'

    Han hesitated for a moment, but then he began to strip, his movements quick and jerky. You watched him, your eyes taking in every inch of his naked body. You could feel the heat building between you, the tension growing with every passing second.

    When Han was finally naked,you pushed him onto his back.

    "Tell me what you want, Han," You whisper, your lips brushing against his ear.

    "I want you," he breathes, his voice barely above a whisper. "I need to be inside you, n-n-n...please."

   You can feel your own desire building again as you tease him, your fingers tracing circles around his nipples. He let out a soft gasp, his body arching towards you.

    "Please," he begs, his voice trembling. "I can't take it anymore."

    You can see the need in his eyes, the desperation for release. He's on the edge, ready to explode at any moment.

"You've been such a good boy Hannie." You say  wrapping your hand around his cock and starting to stroke him. 

"Thank you," Han gasped, his hips bucking involuntarily.

"Now it's time for your reward."

You climbed on top of him and lowered yourself onto his cock, slowly taking him inside you. You both moaned in unison, the feeling of being joined together was almost overwhelming. You began to ride him, moving slowly at first but soon picking up the pace.

Han's hands gripped your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he thrust into you. The sounds of your bodies coming together echoed throughout the room, the two of you lost in a world of pleasure.

The air is filled with the sounds of skin slapping together, the two of you panting and groaning as you move together. You can feel yourself getting closer, your body tensing as the pleasure builds.

   "Fuck," You breathe, your body moving in rhythm with his. "You feel so good, Han."

    "T-Thank you," he cries out, his body moving with yours. "Harder, n-n-n...please."

You obey his request, slamming your hips down harder, making both of you moan. The air is filled with the smell of sweat and sex, the tension is thick.

You feel his cock twitch inside of you and you know he's close.

"Cum for me, Han," You breathe, your voice husky.

"I-I'm gonna- n-n-n.." he says, pushing his head back.

His hips stutter and you feel him spilling inside of you. The warmth of his cum makes you shiver, and the way his face contorts in pleasure is almost enough to push you over the edge.

almost.

His hands grip your hips as he shudders beneath you.

But you don’t stop there . You keep slamming your hips down on him, riding and riding him. You can feel the pressure building inside of you, and the sound of his groans is driving you wild.

"Please," He whimpers, his eyes pleading. He’s sensitive, having just cum.

"N-n-n.."

"Not yet," You moan, the sound of your bodies slapping together echoing throughout the room.

"I-I can't, n-n-n...please!"

The sight of him beneath you, the feeling of him inside of you is too much.

“A-ah… Fuck.. Fuck.. fuck.. fuck,” he said as he closed his eyes. “You feel so good.” 

Your pussy clenched around him and you pushed your thighs tighter together around his hips. Your fingernails dug into his chest and you made your hips keep moving, throwing your head back at the overwhelming sensations taking over your body. His whines and begs filled the room, tears filling his eyes from the overstimulation his  cock was now going through.

"You can give me one more baby" You say. " I know you can."

You felt him twitch and throb inside of you, his cock growing harder and thicker.

"Please.." he begged, his voice desperate. "I-I can't."

You didn't let up, keeping up the relentless pace as you rode him.

"Yes, you can," You urged, your voice thick with lust. "Cum for me, Han."

You slam your hips down one last time, and he loses it, his body shaking as he cums for the second time.The look on his face is pure ecstasy as he cums inside of you again. The feeling of him spilling inside of you is all it takes to push you over the edge.

You collapsed onto him, his cock still buried deep inside of you. For a moment, the two of you just lay there, panting and spent, basking in the afterglow.

After a few minutes, you rolled off him, letting his cock slip out of you. 

You glanced over at him, his eyes closed, a satisfied smile playing on his lips.

“Five minutes, huh?” you teased, eyebrow raised.

Han cracked one eye open, grinning sheepishly.   "Okay, okay. So I lied. But can you blame me?"

A soft laugh escaped your lips, and the sound made his heart swell.

“To be fair,” he continued, his tone playful, “I didn’t hear you complaining.”

You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. “You’re lucky you’re adorable.”

“I know. And admit it—you love me for it.”He chuckled, his arms tightening around you as he pulled you even closer. “Admit it,” he pressed, a mock-serious expression crossing his face. “What would you do without your charming, distracting boyfriend?”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress your smile. “I might actually get some work done,” you replied, trying to sound stern but failing miserably.

“Not a chance,” Han retorted, his voice dripping with playful confidence. “You’d miss me too much.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, the stress of the day dissipating in the warmth of his embrace. Maybe, just maybe, a little distraction was just what you needed.

Five Minutes | Han Jisung

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whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
3 months ago
(*) .
(*) .
(*) .
(*) .

(*>∇<)ノ 𝙈𝙮 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙏𝙧𝙞.

(*>∇<)ノ 𝙄𝙉𝙁𝙋 . 20 . 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡

🎀 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙮 . 𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨

🎀 𝙈𝙙𝙣𝙞 ( 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 18+ 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 )

✨️ 𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 ✨️

(*) .

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me
whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
3 months ago

HEPI BEDAY BB 🌼🌼🔥🔥❤️❤️

 Chris Birthday Countdown D-5 : A Year Of Music Videos
 Chris Birthday Countdown D-5 : A Year Of Music Videos
 Chris Birthday Countdown D-5 : A Year Of Music Videos
 Chris Birthday Countdown D-5 : A Year Of Music Videos
 Chris Birthday Countdown D-5 : A Year Of Music Videos
 Chris Birthday Countdown D-5 : A Year Of Music Videos
 Chris Birthday Countdown D-5 : A Year Of Music Videos

♡ Chris Birthday Countdown ♡ ↳ D-5 : A year of music videos

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
4 months ago

This is funny like how he can be my soulmate? He's totally out of my league 😂

This Is Funny Like How He Can Be My Soulmate? He's Totally Out Of My League

I don't have anyone to tags 😔 so anyone is fine to join this yeah?

Which Stray Kids Member is your soulmate?

Hey there dust bunnies, I'm back to university and this means only one thing: I'm finally back to publish contents for you 💜

It is my first time, but I decided to publish a quiz for every kpop fans out there!

Here's the link: make sure to try it and reblog your results! I missed our long chains of chats!

Which Stray Kids Member Is Your Soulmate?

Your soulmate is Hyunjin! You appreciate elegance and sophistication. Hyunjin's refined taste and composed demeanor resonate with your own.

*Insert Red Lights on playback 😏*

Tagging: anyone who wants to join

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
6 months ago

I REALLY LOVE STALKER X STALKER BRO LIKE ALSBSHSKNDIEUE IM SCREAMINGG

ENHYPEN Imagines

ENHYPEN Imagines
ENHYPEN Imagines

limerence.

pairings: lee heeseung x reader

synopsis: you’ve been secretly admiring and slightly staking lee heeseung for a while now. the admiration you once thought to be harmless started to evolved and made you do something unexpected.

warnings: grammatical error, obsessive love, stalking (slight), yandere.

word count: 5k.

note: this took a while to be posted. i know, i’m so lazy to post it, i’m sorry lmao. anyway, enjoy! also this is connected to the other yandere fics of enhypen. i will probably put it into a masterlist together. replies and reblogs are highly encouraged! send me a message to my asks too! i love reading them. thank you so much, ily. stay safe!

eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved

ENHYPEN Imagines
ENHYPEN Imagines

‘Have you ever liked someone?’

Probably, right? Okay, let me rephrase it...

‘Have you ever liked someone to the point that you feel obsessed? Like you watch him silently, dreamt of him being with you...’

“Hi Heeseung!” your eyes snapped open when you heard that name. With squinting eyes, you tried to scan the wide field of your school to look for him.

And there he is.

Lee Heeseung.

Standing confidently by the field, wearing his jersey like he was meant to play rugby even before he was born. His pitch black hair falls messily on top of his sinful beautiful face. He smiles softly as he waves at the girls by the end of the bench. They screamed loudly after managing to catch his attention.

The handsome man doesn’t seem to even be slightly bothered by it as he comes to receive such reactions from girls everyday. You knew. Because you always watch him from afar, admiring him.

He’s one of the popular kids in your school. Very handsome, plays sport, not so bad with his acads and from a wealthy family. Girl’s will fall on their knees for him and you cannot blame them. He is worth to be simped for. Mainly why you had fallen into this deep dark obsession you slowly grew addicted on.

It started normal. A girl catching attraction over his schoolmate. Somehow, you wanted to blame him for being so cool with everything. Whatever he does, he have this way of turning it into an attractive way. It was hard to properly explain, but its sums up to Lee Heeseung being overwhelmingly admirable.

“You should go for it, dude!” your steps halted from walking along the long hallway when you saw two familiar tall figures.

One was Park Jongseong, also known as Jay, and then the taller one is Lee Heeseung leaning over one of the lockers. They’re looking over somewhere— more like someone. You unconsciously followed his line of sight and saw Irish, one of the cheerleader of your school. Totally hot chick babe and almost everyone in the campus knows her.

You saw how Heeseung’s stares pierced right at her while she laughs with her friends, unaware of it. Something bitter slowly spreads your chest and made it harder for you to take further steps.

Heeseung didn’t say a word to his friend and just kept his stares over Irish. Like he’s watching her very closely, observing everything about her. Just like how you are to him. A part of your heart cracks at the thought of it, but you couldn’t really blame him. Irish are exactly the type of girl that fits him very well. For all you know, the whole school will rejoice.

You snapped back to reality when you saw them slowly facing your way. Panic consumes you when you saw them heading your way. You and Heeseung will walk across each other. As usual, you lowered your head trying to prevent any chances of eye contact.

While in a hurry, you unexpectly clash over someone and you turned right away to face them. The lace to your i.d slightly got tangled with the other person and because you faced them, it got off. Thankfully, neither of them got broken.

“I’m sorry fo—” your eyes grew wide at the sight of Lee Heeseung. His placid expression as he stared down right at you just sent shivers to your spine, stomach churns and legs wobbling.

Your heart bursts just by short eye contact so you bowed politely and run away. You probably look like a pathetic loser for him now because of how you reacted and the students around who witnessed the scene might think you are being crazy.

The thoughts and worries were forcedly shoved away by your consciousness. Finally snapping out of the embarrassing quick flashback. It’s not like he will remember you anyway. Nobody in your school does. For them, you’re invisible.

You have no friends. It’s totally fine for you. Its not so sad to the point you cry inside your bedroom every night just because you have nobody to walk with you along the school premises. You aren’t a loner because they isolated you purposely. It was your own choice.

Besides, how can you freely spy Lee Heeseung if you have a friend that goes around with you all the time? They will just think you are a creep or much worst, they might report you.

As you try to catch your breath and calm yourself, the vivid memory of Heeseung’s face up close flashes back to your mind. His pretty eyes, nose pointy and kissable lips. Not to mention his slightly tan complexion. Suddenly, your heart starts racing once again.

Bumping into him was so far your first true interaction with him and the distance a while ago was the closest you got. Due to his tall height and slim body proportions, he doesn’t seem like someone whose physically strong. But when you bump into him, he didn’t even moved. Like as if you hit a wall and not a person.

Just by thinking of it makes you blush hard. It feels illegal to feel so good about it. With a ghost of smile, you started heading to your next class.

ENHYPEN Imagines

It was break time already and so Heeseung and his friends gathered together as usual. When he arrived, he already saw some of his friends hanging out near the cafeteria, causing some traffic due to the girls who wants to stare at them.

“Let’s go. I’m starving.” he says that caught their attention. Jungwon whose on his phone nods, while Jake headlocks Ni-ki so they can go inside.

Jay waits for Heeseung to catch up on him before he lays his hand on him, asking for something. He smirks before fishing something from his pocket and handed it to him without a word.

Sunghoon and Sunoo follows behind them as they go inside the rowdy cafeteria. Eyes follows them shamelessly and they didn’t really put much care into it. As long as they don’t bother them, he’s cool with him.

His eyes roamed around and caught Irish' group of friends at the left corner. She’s talking with them while she fixes her hair from time to time. Heeseung snaps back to reality when someone claps their hand to his shoulder. It was Jake.

“Do you think it would work?” Heeseung unconsciously asked.

Jake follows his line of sight and he chuckles, “It will for sure. Don’t you trust me?”

Heeseung whips his head to face his friend and smirks at him. “I trust your plan. I’m just a little excited.”

His friends flashed him this teasing grin before nodding his head while smiling downwardly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get her soon.”

He nods and the line moved so its their turn to buy food. They chose the table near the entrance so they can leave easily. Their heads looked over Jungwon when he sighs a little, resting his phone down the table. His food untouched.

“What’s wrong?” Jay asked the younger one, a little concerned.

Jungwon eyes them and shook his head once. “(jungwon’s girl)’s refusing to eat again. She said she wants to come out of the house.” his tone low, enough for them to only hear.

They seem unbothered by the fact that their friend, the kind Yang Jungwon, president of the student council, has been hiding one of their schoolmate. The one that has been missing for months now.

“Why? I thought she’s finally behaving already?”

Jungwon smiles a little, a sign of victory.

“She is. Well, she gets bored of waiting for me to come home everyday from school. She wants to go out and attend school again.”

Heeseung’s mind went blank before his head unconsciously darting at the left corner of the cafeteria. He saw her finally eating her food. He watches her silently while imagining being with her. Holding her by his arms, inhaling her scent, kissing her neck, cheeks, nose and lips.

He cut his own thoughts as he’s slowly falling deep into it. He can’t be submissive over his own greed and ends up messing everything. It can’t be good, specially that they need to follow.

“Oh, right...” Jungwon starts that caught his friends' attention.

“Did you manage to get the part time?” he asks his Sunoo hyung. The latter smiles brightly and raises his thumbs up, making them all smile as well.

“I bribed the manager to let me work there for a week or so. He didn’t even think twice.” he announced.

Ni-ki scoffs after taking a sip from his drink. “What about your parents? Did they ask why you suddenly want to work a part time job?”

“Mom got curious, but I told her I just really want to try working.”

“And she buys it?”

“Yes.” and Sunoo nods.

They resumed eating, talking from time to time. They enjoy their food while the other students enjoy watching them eat.

“Look who's here...” Jake whistles and nudge his chin over a direction, informing them of who just entered the cafeteria along with her best friend.

When their eyes saw who it was, Heeseung’s eyes flee over Sunghoon and he already has glaring eyes towards Jake.

“Don’t whistle like that. She ain’t a dog.” he seriously said that earns only playful giggles from Jake and Ni-ki.

“I heard she likes you very much Hoon.” Heeseung says.

The statement made the boiling anger in his friend’s eyes calm down as he licked his lips, ears burning red.

Jungwon chuckles, “You’re still after Heeseung hyung, remember that.”

“I fucking know. So hurry up so I can have mine.” he said directly at Heeseung that only made him smile. He badly wants to do it quickly as well.

ENHYPEN Imagines

Your obsession is getting worst. Before, you’re already contented just by looking at him, watching him. And now seeing him lurking around Irish makes you feel so mad. You have no rights to, but that’s what you’re feeling.

How can he show those sweet smiles towards her? Carry her bag? Stare at her eyes softly? Why can’t it be you?

It's been a week ever since you’ve seen Heeseung hanging out with Irish too often. News of the two of them dating surrounds the campus like a wild fire and its making you feel so... jealous. You know its bad. You know its wrong, but you’re starting to hate Irish. Even if she’s not doing anything to you.

No... Actually she did something. She stole Heeseung.

While studying one night and obviously having zero progress, you decided to cut some slack and lay down your bed. Scrolling over your tiktok and then switching it to naver, scanning some latest news. It was pretty boring, not until a popular search caught your eye.

‘How can you make someone like you back?’

You’ve never clicked so fast in your life. Feeling impatient for it to load completely, you nibbled on your lower lip, eyes fixed at the screen of your phone.

There are pretty decent suggestions, such as dressing up, having make overs, try to get their attention.. blah blah. Same bullshits that you can see on movies or tv series. Its actually annoying how they think that could work? For people who's naturally pretty or full of charms, maybe.

You cursed and was about to exit the damn article when something caught your attention once again. Its a comment probably left by someone in a joking way. A hundred replies were left beneath it and it gained almost a thousand likes.

‘Kidnap them and keep them in your house.’

Your heart beats so fast by the illegal and dark thoughts that occupies your mind. These are the things that can ruin everything in you, but this obsession seems to be feeding and growing nonstop inside you and now its unstoppable. All you can think of is that you have to get him. You’ve got to have Lee Heeseung for yourself.

A week later, with nervous hands fidgeting together and rigid breathing, you pull your face mask upper to make sure it covers the lower part of your face. A black hat tops your outfit. People won’t be suspicious of you as wearing face masks became pretty normal already.

You can almost hear your heart thumping loudly inside your chest when you felt a presence looming behind you.

“Coal?” one man muttered the code name you told him to use once he arrived so you’ll know its him.

You didn’t even glance at him and just try to hand him the paperbag containing your payment for the stuff you asked online. It was odd that you’re here at the vacant park near your apartment building but its much weirder that you can buy these type of serums on the internet. Although it requires a lot of secrecy, but still. Now this feels very illegal.

After he handed you your package, the man never said another word. It was impossible to tell who it was too since like you, he’s all covered. Well, if he’s going to illegally sell these meds he really needs to hide his identification.

He left afterwards. It was like as if he wasn’t even there. It makes you feel shivers down your spine and eyes dropped at the paperbag. Your heart thumps, remembering what it contains inside. You’re a little hesitant, makes you wonder if you should continue your plan or just back out.

But then Heeseung kept flashing inside your mind.

You decided to walk back to your apartment as it was late already and you shouldn’t encounter anyone. Nobody should know that you went out of your apartment at this time.

Once back inside, you went to the fridge and get your favorite drink. Thankfully, you stopped by the convenience store near your place before going home. You didn’t need to go there right now that can make you suspicious.

You have a simple plan. It’s not the best one you can come up with, but its better that way or not getting Heeseung at all.

First, you will wait for him at his usuall route back to his apartment. For some reasons, he take the shorter way near the park where you just got your package. He walks there whenever he doesn’t take his car because of practice.

They have rugby practice during tuesdays and thursdays. You’ll wait for him that day and quietly stalks behind him. That won’t be too hard because you’ve done it multiple times, he never caught on you. It’s either he's really dense or he’s just very tired from practice to even give a fuck.

While you stalk behind him, you will find the perfect timing to go close and point a knife on his side. You will threaten him to come with you or else you will hurt him.

A lot of contrasting thoughts occupies your mind, but you disregard all of them and stayed positive.

There’s just some minor problems. Sometimes, he walks with another friend. Another one is that since he’s very tall and obviously much well built than you, he’ll probably fight back, right? Will your plan even work? The last problem is that you have to make sure nobody will see it. His practice ends late, so he’ll probably walk home late as well.

The next day was wednesday and you’re planning to execute your plan tomorrow. They will have a practice and since the games are near, surely they will stay late. Mixed emotions while trying to prepare yourself for what's about to unfold.

“Ack!” your head unconsciously snaps over to the side after hearing someone shriek from the corner.

Three people are at the far side of it, making sure their presence will be unknown by any school officials. You kept staring and when you realized that Jay was one of the three, you let out a sigh. He’s probably bullying lower years once again.

He often loves playing pranks or occasionally makes fun of the lower batch. You slightly feel bad for them, but there’s really nothing you can do. Jay’s one of the most influential kids in your school. His family is very wealthy and have a lot of connections all over the town. It sure is a bad idea to go against him.

Just like other students, you turned blind-eye and just went on walking back to your classroom. Being observant gave you the ability to adapt to your surrounding and to avoid any way to get into people’s bad side.

Specially to Heeseung’s group of friends' bad side. They’re the most dangerous kids here if you’ll be very honest.

Starting off with Yang Jungwon. His father is the Governor. Being the younger son, his parents always favor him. Next is Jay, his father owns a big travels agency. He’s their only child too so that only means his parents will do anything for him.

Follows up to him is Jake Sim. His parents are both doctors and they own multiple Hospitals. They also own one of the biggest pharmaceuticals in the country. And you know what it means when your source of income aligns with health, it reeks of money. Health is wealth, that’s what they said. Well, he at least he do well in school unlike some of them. You’ll give him that.

Park Sunghoon. The first child of the owners of the biggest and most famous Law firm in the country. His father won a lot of big cases local and international. It was no doubt that he have the ability to manipulate the law itself in any way he wants. He’s a snobby one too.

Kim Sunoo is the youngest child of business tycoons. His parents owns big and well known commercial establishment all over the country. He’s no joke. Very spoiled as well and have a rude attitude. His face speaks for him whenever he look over people that are not on his level.

Nishimura Riki, middle child of said to be owners of Engineering and Architectural companies that said to be incharge of building the biggest establishments and also the roads of the country.

Lee Heeseung is just the same with the six of them. His parents owns an airline and is currently one of the three biggest in the country. He’s the youngest of the two sons and sure is spoiled rotten.

Their families are considered the most powerful and influential families in the town. They basically rule this place. Nobody, as in no soul dares to mess with them. Their kids, which is the seven gorgeous boys you just mentioned, were the ones that rules the school like their own playground.

The thought made you halt your step. Are you really gonna do that? You’re probably losing your mind at the moment. Lee Heeseung is the son of one of the most influential people in your town. There’s no way you could execute this plan properly, right? This is probably the worst idea.

But as if like the fate is playing jokes on you, just in time Lee Heeseung walks ahead of you. His familiar manly scent made it to your nose that instantly drawn you into a spell. A dangerous one.

Your eyes follows him while he walks confidently over the hallway of your building. His wide back and long legs sure is eye-catching as you watch students almost breaking their necks just to get a good glimpse of the said boy.

Still under that dangerous spell, you ignored all those thoughts and your decision to do what you planned ruled over the fear.

The next day came and you’re currently at a near convenience store to buy your favorite drink. You mindlessly grabbed one from the big fridge then walk towards the counter. Your eyes settles to the cashier boy that focuses on scanning your order as the familiar beep sound errupts from it.

“That’ll be 2000 won.” he mumbled softly. Your eyes are glued to him for some reason.

“Miss?” he calls you again that snapped you back to reality. It somehow made you feel shy for spacing out.

“U-Uh, yeah. I’m sorry.” you lowered your gaze to fish something from your wallet. As you grab your money, you kind of felt off.

“Here.” you placed the correct amount of payment and watch as how he slid the drink near you.

His fair complexion grabs your attention and it made you tilt your head to the side. You’ve been in this convenience store a lot and not once have you seen this person yet. Well, you can’t really tell who it was since he’s wearing a cap and mask. But his built and all is very unfamiliar, far from the people who you saw working here.

In the end, you realized that maybe the fact that you’ll be doing something illegal tonight makes you overthink alot. It makes you overanalyze everything. So you disregarded all those thoughts and just go to where you need to be.

Just like how you planned you waited patiently at the usual route Lee Heeseung takes whenever he has practice. Just near a vending machine, you crouched to hide yourself from his sight.

Exactly how you expects him to arrive, he did. There he is. Wearing a plain white t-shirt and his sweats while his big duffel bag hangs loosely over his body. Both of his hands are inside his pocket.

His tall figure kind of intimidates you, but there’s no chance of backing out at the moment. It’s better to take action right away.

When you’re about to walk towards him, he stops that made you stoned to your position. You carefully watch his movements and somehow expects him to turn around.

He didn’t. Instead, he started rummaging over his bag making him totally unaware of his surroundings. He’s so busy looking for whatever that thing he’s trying to get inside his bag. You silently cheered and advances near him to execute your plan.

A few steps away from him and you can already smell his addicting manly scent. Once you’re near enough, you stood behind and placed one of your hand at his shoulder. Your other hand holding the knife points over to his side, making sure it won’t hurt or bruise him.

“Don’t move.” you tried to hard to sound so intimidating.

You felt Heeseung tensing up and stiffened in front of you. His tall figure almost covers you from the view of people in front him. He didn’t said anything right away.

“What the...” he mumbles.

You take a deep breath. “Don’t even think of doing something funny.” you threatened again, pressing the knife more. Just so he can feel it and be scared of it. His head craned to the side so you know he’s now aware of the weapon you have.

“What do you need? Money? I can give you all of mine.” he casually said. He doesn’t even sound scared. You gulped, nervous now.

“I d-don’t need your money!”

He turned his head and was about to face you, but you pushed him over the shoulder to prevent it. He sighed and tilt his head. His large figre in front of you makes you feel dizzy.

“Start walking! Do as I say or I will seriously burry this knife on your side.”

He was silent for a while, unresponsive. You’re already worrying that he’s about to fight back, but thankfully he started walking towards the direction you’re guiding him.

“Where?” he asks, still sounding calm.

“To that building.” you said seriously and started guiding him inside.

The guard on patrol are probably out on a break so he's not on his usual spot by the entrance of the apartment building. Heeseung stayed silent until you reached the elevator.

You stretched your arm to press the floor button and met eyes with him through his reflection on the elevator doors. It made your heart race insanely fast. You kept your composure and went back on standing behind him, knife pressed on his side.

His eyes looked blank while staring silently at you. It made you shiver, but there’s no backing out anymore. If you showed him that you’re scared it will backfire on you.

“You know you’ll get arrested for this, right?” he asks calmly.

You know that very well. But you alreay lost your mind for him. Obsession sure is a dangerous thing, toxicating.

You ignored what he said and pushed his back so he can start walking again once you arrived at your floor. Since its already pretty late, the hallway was empty as expected so it was easier for you.

“Don’t make a sound.” you reminded him, knife still pressed at his side while you hold his one arm.

“What? Do you think I will scream like a fucking pussy?” his tone was full of sarcasm that completely caught you off-guard.

You’ve always know that he is confident and brave. But how come he can still be this arrogant despite a knife being pressed over him? Is he really this fearless? Or maybe he just don’t take you seriously.

“Watch your tone.” you hissed at him.

He craned his neck at the side and stared down at you. It was cold and blank. You shivered once again, but you kept a glare on him.

“Punch my code in.” and you started to dictate your pincode for him.

He surprisingly obliged without giving you a hard time and noticed how natural he looked pressing those numbers in. The door made a sound and you kicked it open before pushing him once again.

He didn’t say anything and just struts inside. His head moves side to side, scanning the whole room. You felt your cheeks flushing by realizing that Lee Heeseung is inside. Just by standing behind him and watching him awkwardly standing in the middle of your small living room, makes you realize that he look out of place because he’s so big.

Your apartment never look so small before.

“Sit down at the couch.” you ordered after snapping out of your trance.

He turned around to face you and cooly slid his hands back inside his pockets. He stared at you with his intense blank eyes.

“I said sit down!” you shouted, feeling worried that he will really fight back already.

To your surprise, Heeseung obliged with no complain. He sat down, occupying a large space to your almost worn out sofa. He stared at you, still with no words coming out from his sexy lips.

You started walking closer, his eyes following your movements. You gulped and pursed your lips before grabbing the handkerchief that has a chloroform. His eyes darted at it but remained silent.

“You won’t be hurt as long as you behave yourself.” you mumble and walked closer to him.

His head tilts to the side, the side of his lips lifts. “You have the guts.” he whispered but enough for you to hear.

You gulped and acted quickly pushed forward and covering his mouth and nose with the handkerchief. His hand reaches out for you and it felt so warm over your skin. He was trying to resist but you pour everything to keep him in place.

After a while, his movements became weak and his eyes started batting slowly. You cheer inwardly and smiles when he finally fall over to the sofa, unconscious.

You heaved a heavy sigh watching him knocked out. Slowly standing up and staring down at his sleeping state, a victory smile spreads across your face. Both of your hands raises up.

“It actually works!” you cheered, very cheeky.

You leaned closer and softly poked his cheeks to check if he's awake. When he’s not responding, you quickly grabbed the rope and tape you bought. Carefully you tied him up, making sure it won’t him too much.

After making sure he’s all secured, a big smile makes it way to your lips once again. You leaned towards him and can hear his calm breathing.

You chest thumped loudly and you can feel your whole system almost comvulsing in so much thrill. You can feel your throat drying up just by staring at his pretty face. Not once did you imagine being this close to him. Dreams do really come true.

When your finger touches his soft face, you retrieve it like as if you got burn by it. You bit your lower lip trying to suppress the big, crazy grin on your face.

“You’re really here with me.” you utter and giggled as you stood up.

Deciding to kill some time to wait for him to wake up again, you went to get your favorite drink so you can drink it. It’s a pre-celebration for actually executing your plan.

You have a big smile on your face as you drink from it. After that, you sat at the other sofa and opened the television to entertain yourself. You glanced over to Heeseung and giggled once again, seeing him sleeping cutely.

While watching this show, you can feel your eyes losing focus, your lids feeling heavier. You’re starting to doze off. Suddenly you feel so sleepy, but its different. Like it feels heavier, your body weighing tons.

As you slowly falls back to the couch, dozing off, before your eyes fully close you can see a shadow from the corner of the room. You don’t know if its just your hallucination or what, but you have no time to confirm since your eyes fully closed.

ENHYPEN Imagines

A figure slowly loomes closer to Heeseung’s body at the coach. His arm stretches with a knife and then he freed his arm and legs from the ropes you just tied him with. Heeseung’s eyes cracks open and it quickly darted at your direction.

“How long will she be out?” He asks his friend after he took off the tape on his mouth.

“If Sunoo did inject the right dosage I told him, two to three hours.” Jake informs him and even glanced at the drink they just spiked.

Their head snaps at the door when it opened revealing Sunoo with Jungwon. Sunoo’s still on his uniform from the convenience store and Jungwon with his hoodie and sweatpants. Their brows furrowed hardly.

“How is he awake?” Sunoo wonders, referring to their friend.

Heeseung teared his eyes from them and struts closer to your position.

“He just pretended to pass out.” Jungwon concluded, putting two and two together. Sunoo nods and roams his eyes around the place.

Sunghoon, Jay and Ni-ki finally arrives and they’re all wearing their hoodies and sweatpants. Some of them wears caps.

“Did you handle the apartment manager?” Jake asks.

Jay nods his head, smirking. “That sum of money is enough for him to shut his mouth. Nobody will know we’ve been here.”

“I also made sure no one’s around the neighborhood saw.” Ni-ki mumbles while eyeing his eldest hyung crouching in front of your unconscious body. His hand carefully stretches to reach for you, gently brushing some hair away from your face.

“Irish won’t say a thing too. I returned her card pass for this building.” Sunghoon says and tilts his head. “What did you even do to her, hyung? You scared the shit out of her.” he chuckles lightly and roams around your small apartment.

“You don’t want to know.” Jake smirks and glanced at his hyung.

Heeseung is silent while staring at your unconscious body. A small evil smile spreads across his face before he slid his arms to carry you.

“You’re going to keep her here?” Jungwon asks then he knocks on the wall. “The wall’s too thin.”

Heeseung shakes his head side to side.

“I’m taking her home with me.” he heaved a sigh, calming himself down.

“I’m finally taking you home with me, baby.” he whispers down at your sleeping body.

ENHYPEN Imagines

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @love13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @ayayiiie @aeyeree @heeseung-min @in-somnias-world @psh-pjh @hveanlyanqelic

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

NEW LOVE OPEN 😭💕✨

JUST NETEYAM | neteyam x reader

pairing: olo'eyktan!neteyam x f!reader

summary: despite being from a different clan and expected to marry the leader of the omatikaya without knowing him, you agree to it for the sake of your family, but doubts start haunting you the moment you set foot in the clan, causing you to plan your escape on the day of your mating ceremony.

word count: 8k

warnings: arranged marriage trope, fluffffff, love-at-first-sight kinda thing, a bit of angst in the beginning, traditions, non-sexual nudity, prejudiced reader, royal neteyam, he is just such a prince it’s unreal!!

note: all characters are aged up by five years. the title eyktan/eykte (leader) being unofficially reserved for the olo'eyktan (clan leader)’s mate made sense to me since both are supposed to rule together. please correct me if i’m wrong. see end notes for more.

* gif‘s not mine.

image

You will learn to love her. He remembered his mother’s voice, and he recalled the vast expanse of the sky, where billowing clouds danced gracefully and the wind embraced him with gentle caresses. The sky, like an endless canvas, painted in hues of blue, purple, and gold, held a beauty that stirred his soul. 

Instead of roaring waves crashing against the cliffs, he witnessed the majestic flight of ikrans, soaring high above the jagged peaks. Their wings, strong and mighty, carried him through the heavens, as if he were a part of their elegant dance. Gone were the humpbacked sea surfaces, replaced by the boundless freedom of the open sky. The white foam, once adorning the ocean’s crown, now transformed into fluffy clouds, resembling intricately woven blankets. It was as if the heavens themselves provided a soft embrace, offering comfort and warmth.

Keep reading

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

Artist of the Moment: Jonas Brothers

No, don't get stressed, because the Jonas Brothers are back with their new album, The Album, out now. 😎

Check out some exclusive footage and stream the new album here.

Oh, and it's not just The Album...THE TOUR is coming too so grab your tickets here!

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

60 with Lo'ak x reader? I put in 1-101 on a generator and this came up three times so i think it's a sign PFFT

it just feels right for lo'ak to have this with someone, kind of like Ronal and Tonowari speaking with their eyes basically!! reader can be omaticaya or metkayina , whatever you deem fitting :)

60 With Lo'ak X Reader? I Put In 1-101 On A Generator And This Came Up Three Times So I Think It's A

#60: In Sync/Wordless Conversations

Pairing: Lo'ak x Fem!Metkayina!Reader

Warnings: Language, fluff, time skips

A/N: Oh, hell yeah I love this sort of prompt. Wordless Conversations is definitely my love language. Do I love it because I'm terrible at vocally expressing my feelings and crave for someone to know me inside and out without prodding me for words? Shut up and lemme cope.

He had always struggled with saying what he meant, and he always said things he didn't mean. In his youth, he was Jakesully's troubled son, someone who wasn't Neteyam, the firstborn golden child. Being second in everything, Lo'ak couldn't live up to so many expectations being Toruk Makto's son, and so his communication skills were shit, to say the least.

Lo'ak knew Y/n would one day be his mate simply because no one understood him like she did, and she understood him without even asking.

From day one, when he first saw her emerge from the waters of Awa'atlu, their eyes met, blue on yellow, he knew he was done for. Those eyes stared into his very soul and read him from the inside out. He wasn't sure if it was even possible to keep a secret from her. During their very first interaction together, when Tsireya had properly introduced the pair, Lo'ak couldn't hold back what he was thinking, no matter how hard he tried to keep it to himself. One look from Y/n, and he was spilling his newly found secret, "Beautiful."

Day one and Y/n could See Lo'ak in ways that no one, not even his family, could see.

~~~

It was safe to say that Lo'ak could See Y/n, too. After he had called her beautiful, their interactions were cute, shy, and flirtacious. Y/n would help Tsireya, Rotxo, and Ao'nung teach the Sully children their ways in between her chores. Nearly every time she walked up to their little group, Lo'ak is the first to spot her, and every time he grins and calls out, "She's back!"

"I am. And how are you, Lo'ak?" She rolled her eyes, despite smiling.

"Same as yesterday. You didn't stay away long," his grin was attractive, fangs sparkling in the sun, and looked as though he knew the secrets of the universe, "You just can't get enough of me, can you?"

"Please make him shut up," Ao'nung snarled under his breath, addressing it to only Neteyam who stood beside him.

~~~

Even before learning the sign language, Lo'ak was able to See Y/n. While Tsireya is using hand gestures to speak to the Sully kids in the water, Y/n spoke to Lo'ak with her eyes. They swam close together, weaving through the coral reefs as they explored the sea life around them.

Lo'ak had reached out to touch a particular fish that glowed green, but one glance in Y/n's direction beore he had done so made him pause.

She didn't move her hands or even shake her head to tell him 'no'. Her eyes, staring through Lo'ak's soul, said what he needed to know. 'Stings.'

He moves away from the fish, swimming closer to her instead, eyes bright and eyebrows raised in her direction. He was smiling with his eyes, and even through his eyes, he was grinning. 'Worried for me?'

She rolled her eyes in response, and his own crinkled as his way of laughing. He didn't miss the way her ears darkened a shade of teal.

~~~

Payakan was his Spirit Brother and Lo'ak would defend him, even against a mighty olo'eyktan like Tonowari. However, even Y/n knew when enough was enough, fearing her clan leader more than Lo'ak did in that moment of stupidity. From over Tonowari's shoulder, Lo'ak caught Y/n's gaze, and with one look, her ears pinned back to emphasize the warning, Lo'ak closed his mouth.

~~~

Quaritch had grabbed Y/n by the throat and all Lo'ak could see was red. He lashed out, hissing and baring his teeth, struggling against the orange cuffs. He was so preoccupied with insulting the Recom with every bit of foul language known to Na'vi that he nearly missed Y/n's eyes flicking in his direction, her second pair of lids wiping away the salt water that was her tears. Lo'ak noticed, anger slowly calming as he stared back at her. It was obvious she was afraid, and much like how you would try to appear smaller when calming a scared cat, Lo'ak did just that. He stopped struggling against his restraints, closing his mouth to hide the fangs away. Ears resting in a more natural position, Lo'ak made sure to keep Y/n's beautiful eyes on him. His gaze softened once she slowly began to calm herself, eyes blinking slowly as she caught her breath. Lo'ak smiled at her and nodded with encouragement. 'Do not be afraid.'

After they escaped, Lo'ak gathered her in his arms. Gently cupping both sides of her face in his hands, he stared her down with one glance, 'Okay?'

She nods, sinking into his embrace and hiding her face away in his chest.

~~~

With one tilt of her head, his tail swayed in response, betraying his thoughts as he watched the way her smile twinkled and their eyes met again. The tilt of her head was pointed in the direction of the jungle behind the village, and after the communal meal, Lo'ak found himself following Y/n there, without a verbal invitation needed.

She was leaning against a tree, facing him when he broke through the heavy foliage. Expectedly, he waltzed over to her, eyes never leaving hers as she tilts her chin up to follow his height. They stood so close now, sharing the same air as the sky darkened and the fauna around them began to glow, igniting both Omatikaya and Metkayina tanhì like constellations. Lo'ak knew what she wanted without ever saying a word. Leaning in, he did what she had asked and kissed her.

~~~

It wasn't their first fight, but for Lo'ak, everything with Y/n felt like the first time. They had been mated for three years up until this point, three years of gaining more tribal tattoos, being one of the Metkayina, and lying in a hammock that was meant for two with the most beautiful woman in the world.

He couldn't remember what the fight was about, but between his pride and Y/n's stubbornness, it was safe to say that both of them could have easily been the cause of it. After the argument, Lo'ak left to cool his thoughts. He had already said some things he didn't mean (as always, it was still a bad habit) and struggled to say the things he wanted to say. He couldn't bare to stay any longer knowing he could do something he would sincerely regret. After a few hours to relax and recollect his thoughts, he returned. Y/n was still in their marui and didn't bother looking up when he entered. She keeps her head facing away from him and purposely pinned her ears back. 'No, I don't want to talk to you.'

He understands clearly. Trying his best not to touch her, he pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear and left to go hunting with Ao'nung, Rotxo, and Neteyam. He had stayed in his parents' marui that night.

After he returned the next morning, Y/n was still there, though her posture had definitely relaxed and her mood had shifted. She stood up and moved out of her husband's way so that he could get what he needed to be ready for the day. When he turned to leave again, she cleared her throat. Right, how could he have forgotten? Lo'ak turned on his heels and fit himself in front of his wife, planting a parting kiss on her lips and reveling the smile she bore as he left.

~~~

Almost every night it was like this, their little girl begging to stay up late because all her older cousins get to.

"Sem'pul, can I please stay up with you?"

Her eyes were even bigger than Tuk's when she was that age. Lo'ak was ready to give in until he saw the way Y/n looked at him behind their daughter's back, "Of co-- Actually, maite. I just remembered how I'm not feeling well and should probably get some sleep."

"Oh, no! You have to rest, Dad! I can tuck you in."

"That would make me feel so much better, baby. Thank you."

Y/n smiled with her eyes, nodding with approval as she moves to join the two in their family-size nivi. Lo'ak was nearly smothered with the little girl nestled in his chest and the woman pressed comfortably at his side, but he wouldn't want it any other way.

~~~

Ao'nung's son? With Lo'ak's daughter? Hell fucking no! What is that skxawng thinking?!

Lo'ak makes one step toward the son of the olo'eyktan only for Y/n to step in front of her mate, keeping his line of sight strictly on her. She stares up at him with half-lidded eyes and a sweet -if not amused- smile. Both smile and eyes now had soft wrinkles in the corners, and her hair wasn't as dark as it used to be. But, like before, time with Y/n was always like the first time, and nothing had changed except for their age and the fact that Ao'nung's son wished to court Lo'ak's daughter!

The thought brings anger back into Lo'ak's eyes that Y/n quickly stamped down with a glare of her own, her amusement forgotten in replace of forcing her husband to sit down with just one look. Kiri had watched the scene with amusement, muttering "Walk him like a dog, Y/n" loud enough for Lo'ak to hear it and snap his teeth at her.

At least Ao'nung was as displeased as Lo'ak was when he found out about it. Finally, they agreed on something. However, everyone knew that Lo'ak was wrapped around his baby's fingers, and eventually, he welcomed the chief's son into their family after his daughter exclaimed, "I want what you and Mom have!"

He couldn't argue with that.

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

Okay maybe I got to carried with the manhwa and all stuff but imagines okay, imagines..

Readers have been living with sully's family and then so suddenly they died because of well, sky people. And at the same time they remembers that they actually still did not live their life to the fullest so before they closed their eyes, the last thing they said to the character is "if I live in the next life... Let's be the happiest and change everything..together"

Well, here's what it is. What if reader got to go back in time before everything happened. Before every chaos happened. Maybe like before jake got serious with teyyam position or maybe they will try to follow lo'ak troubles antics and at last they got to change their fate by saving their family earlier.

But as eywa fate (I mean most of us should know) that life will need to pay with live. So maybe before the reader got to go back in time just maybe they talk with eywa and they say like give them a last chance to change their family fates and eywa gave them? But in order to do that after everything is finished she needs to die back because her time has actually already come. So the reader agreed.

The Sully's is so confused why with their way of acting so matured and why the reader did not act like their self usually does. And the only one who will come and try to confront is teyyam because the reader is hs favourite among the siblings (dont tell tuk) and he wants to get to the bottom of it.

So he asked but the only thing the reader said was "This is the end of my chapter even though my story never started before" and teyyam was hella confused. Like what the hell of this nonsense as if they're gonna die?

And the next day probably the day reader got clingy with jake and Jake did the same thing to the reader because honestly he missed these few things too. I like playing and laughing together. Same with Loak, kiri, tuk and neytiri. All of them spend time together and end the day with cuddling until they are asleep.

And the next day when neteyam woke up he felt weird because as always the reader was gonna be the first one to wake up and he tried to wake them up thinking that maybe they were just over asleep. But as he was shaking the reader's body his face changed when he realized that his sibling body had already turned cold as if being in the freezer.

And that's when neteyam realized what they said when he asked what was going on. And the only thing he can say when he sees his favourite sibling go back to eywa is "Your chapter already started before your story got to begin. Now lets end the chapter and open a new book"

Ok Im not good with english but if anybody wants to write these stories please tell me because Im too afraid to write it since my grammar just sucks af

Okay Maybe I Got To Carried With The Manhwa And All Stuff But Imagines Okay, Imagines..

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whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

To The All Of Lo'ak Main

Why every lo'ak mains always write truly magnificent stories ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ ? The hurt feelings make me tingly and cried for how many times idk- I need to tag all of my fav but I just dunno how (⁠´⁠;⁠ω⁠;⁠`⁠)

Ps: I just say this out of nowhere and it doesn't mean neteyam mains or jake mains doesn't write a good stories. It just neteyam make me hurt so much. PLZ GIVE THAT BOY REST GUYS! Same with dilf! Jake. But you know what? At the end of the day I still enjoy the pain. Thank you guys (⁠^⁠3⁠^⁠♪

Credit gif to the owner yall- its not mine

To The All Of Lo'ak Main

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whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

Yup yup- gorgeous ao'nung 😔❤️

Long Hair
Long Hair

long hair

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

😭💕

Sully Family Photo Human Edition By @calsz0ne On Twitter And @caffecal On Tumblr

sully family photo human edition by @calsz0ne on Twitter and @caffecal on tumblr

click for better quality

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

I'm not an author but just wanna say that please respect other opinions okay? There's always a must have reason why they don't want to write your request and they already say why. Some of my requests have been rejected and I'm fine with it because I know not everyone can write what we are comfortable with. So please respect each other.

not you saying you won’t age up character or do smut yet write a sexual tension shit ☠️

PLEASE READ! (I think I speak for all authors when I say this)

Why are y’all so mad about the fact that I, a minor, don’t want to write smut about minors? It’s actually creepy and uncomfortable. Sexual tension means tension between two people that aren’t lovers yet but know they both want each other—the word “sexual” doesn’t always equal smut or lust. I can’t believe I even have to explain this. Saying this anonymously to complain about how I disagree to write smut about minors and trying to pin me as a hypocrite is so pathetic. I had three people calling me disgusting and a pedophile when I’ve never wrote smut nor anything leading up to it. I don’t care if a minor wants to write smut, you do you. Me, personally, I don’t want to. It’s uncomfortable. And it’s so weird when adults request minors aged up to request plots like smut and pregnancy. That’s why I don’t allow requesting aged up characters.

I was a fanfic author on Wattpad, @/honeyshoyo. My fanfics blew up and I got a lot of reads, but I had so many comments disrespecting my culture, my language, or hating in general, so I just quit writing.

I came onto tumblr because I wanted to start fresh away from Wattpad, seeing all the minifics and oneshots and amazing authors on here, but seeing these type of comments so early on into the start of this account is honestly concerning. Writing becomes not fun anymore when people on the internet who don’t even know me try to paint me as a pedophile or a hypocrite. It’s annoying and disgusting.

If you’re an author, I beg of you to repost this because I know damn well I’m not the only one EXHAUSTED of this unnecessary hate.

Hence, I’m going on hiatus for a while, I don’t even know if I’ll ever come back. Sorry for all the requests, I’ll get back to it whenever if I ever feel like it.

whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

Angst fluff where? TT

Anybody have recommendations in avatar angst fluff story? I do need this angst in my life but I dont want it to end in a bad way. Please do drop down there if you guys know any.

Angst Fluff Where? TT

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whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

My heart cant take it no more 💔 😫

moment of silence and only reblog as a petition for this to be real cause we all need ‘em hair back. i’m still not over his first hair and dread locks and now this? my jaw is wide open just like my leg fr. AND LOOK AT THE FUCKING SLUTTIEST CROPTOP?? HELLO ⁉️

Moment Of Silence And Only Reblog As A Petition For This To Be Real Cause We All Need Em Hair Back. Im
whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

for the question for the sully kids having 5 fingers but some people say they are freaks for having 4 or something – the people saying that are probably a bit confused since na'vis indeed have 4 fingers while avatars have 5. though, for the anecdote, only lo'ak (and, well, kiri) have 5 fingers. tuk and neteyam have 4.

oof eventhough its a little bit confusing but after all the explanation I got and some repeat watching movies for-god-know-how-many and more tears now I got it. Thank you so much :)


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whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

Can anybody enlighten me plz-

So we all know that the sully's kid have 5 fingers right? That's what make it different than other na'vi. But I have read some of imagines that saying they feel like freak for having 4 fingers

And here I am confused 😕. Am i the one wrong or I just dont understand the story?

Im not saying this to anybody okay? Avatar x oc is such a bop and Im here for it! It just Im confused

Ps/: also sorry for the grammar mistakes english are not my first language sksksk

Can Anybody Enlighten Me Plz-

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whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
1 year ago

Yes thank you. Im a simp with jake x daughter imagines

New Breath, All Mine (Daddy's Here Sequel)

Jake Sully x Daughter!Reader

New Breath, All Mine (Daddy's Here Sequel)

everyone was heartbroken after the first part, and the demand for a sequel was high, so here it is. also, I want to give full credit to @vampxra for proposing this wonderful sequel idea!

I hope you like this (and also happy birthday @vampxra consider this a b-day present) ! sorry to put y'all through the trauma of the first part hopefully this makes up for it

do yourself a favor and listen to The Songcord during the first part of this one too lmao

enjoy xx.

Time no longer felt like a factor. Your existence was only peace. Smiling to yourself, you stared up at the swinging tendrils of the massive, effulgent Tree of Souls. The sky was dark and the stars--that you admired so deeply--winked down at you. As you laid on your back, allowing the softness of the ground to relax you, the feeling of an additional presence pulled you from your serenity.

Sitting up, you looked around until your eyes fell on a tall figure. As the figure walked towards you, it slowly developed from a silhouette to a blurred image before finally materializing.

Your eyes widened as you stood up, preparing to greet the approaching presence. Though you'd never gotten the chance to meet him, something within you confirmed that he was exactly who you believed he was.

He slowly made his way up the slanted roots before coming face-to-face with you. Your mouth dropped in awe as you gawked up at him. Amused by your reaction, he tilted his head, which slightly agitated the beads in his hair.

"No greeting for me?" he asked, smirking as he opened his arms.

"You are . . ." you breathed, "the great warrior. Brother of my father. Uncle of me. Tsu'tey."

His smirk grew into a smile as you rushed forward before colliding with his chest. As you wrapped your arms around his neck, he closed his arms around your torso.

Tucking your face into his neck, you spoke again. "It is so wonderful to finally meet you."

You felt his large hands briefly rub your back. "And you, as well, my strong little warrior." He pulled away, placing hands on your shoulders. "But, I am afraid I cannot stay."

You frowned at his words. "Why?"

He smiled gently, grabbing one of your hands in his. "I am here to deliver a message to you. The Great Mother has sent me."

Your eyebrows flew up as your lips parted. Remaining quiet, you waited for him to continue. "You have been called," he stated simply.

When you didn't reply, he placed a gentle hand on your cheek. "You have called back--by your family," he continued, "The Great Mother sent me to you, allowing your family to communicate this message. However, the choice is yours."

After a long moment, with wide eyes, you finally choked out a response. "You mean, I can return to them?"

Tsu'tey bowed his head, giving a single nod.

For the first time since you'd arrived--and you had no clue how long you'd been there--you felt conflicted. As much as you wanted to see your family, you felt guilty about leaving The Great Mother when she had called you to her.

Sensing your battling thoughts, Tsu'tey gave your hand a squeeze. Snapping out of your daze, you looked back up at him.

"The Great Mother understands all. Nothing will change her love for you. You will join Her again."

His words were the confirmation that you needed. Joy washed over you as a teary smile crossed your face. Raising his hand to your lips, you placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles.

"Thank you, my wonderful uncle," you whispered, "I wish we could have talked longer. I will miss you."

Another soft smile spread across his face. "We will see each other again," he replied gently, "and we will talk for all of eternity, if that is your wish. For now, go be with your family."

Taking one last look at him, you finally nodded and smiled. He gazed fondly at you before stepping forward. Then, he gripped both sides of your head before leaning in. As soon his lips connected with your forehead, the world around you went white.

-

"The Great Mother protects only the balance of life," Mo'at explained in a low voice, "The choice will be Hers."

"I understand," Jake replied, nodding his head, "I just . . . wanna give it a try."

Mo'at nodded once before raising her hands, signaling for The People to begin. The luminescent areas of the Tree of Souls, and the surrounding roots, began to flash repeatedly. Your body, which your family had brought back to the forest, was spread beneath the glowing tendrils. Slim, glowing tendrils--that were the size of blades of grass--wrapped around your body, connecting your physical body to Eywa. The People chanted--all of their voices becoming one as they begged for Eywa to return your soul.

Jake, who was sitting on your right side, stared down at your peaceful face, praying for a miracle. Neytiri, who sat on the opposite side, watched your state while rubbing a gentle thumb over your hair. Your brothers sat on either side of your legs.

As Mo'at continued to conduct the revival ceremony, the flashing lights grew faster.

"Ting mikyun ayoer, ruxte, ma nawma sa'nok!" Mo'at chanted.

"Srung si poeru, ma Eywa!" The People chanted.

"Please," Jake whispered, "Bring her back to us."

Neytiri, being the only one that heard his words, placed a hand on his. He looked up, meeting her gaze before giving her a soft smile.

"Eo Eywa oe 'ia, eo Eywa oe 'ia, eo Eywa oe 'ia, eo Eywa oe 'ia," Mo'at repeated, rolling her eyes to the back of her head.

Arms spread out, she shook over your body, allowing herself to become lost within the ceremony. The lights within the roots flashed faster, resembling a strobe light pattern now. Then, after a long minute of chanting, Mo'at came to a sudden stop. Snapping her eyes open, she signaled for the people to cease their chants.

She lowered her gaze to your body, moving slowly as she kneeled over you. Jake's heart pounded against his ribcage as he waited for Mo'at to speak.

With an awestruck expression, Mo'at finally broke the silence. "She is with us."

Jake withheld a gasp as he snapped his head to Neytiri. Neytiri, who had been looking at her mother, turned to Jake. They stared at one another for a moment before lowering their gazes to you. Reaching out, Jake brushed a loose strand of hair from your forehead before cupping your face.

The air was still. No one dared to speak, or even take a breath. All they could do was wait.

-

"She is with us."

The echoing voice was familiar to your foggy mind. However, distinguishing who it belonged to was too much effort for you. At the moment, all you could do was try to center yourself.

For the longest time, you felt disconnected--like you were a floating presence, suspended in an airless vacuum. However, ever-so-slowly, you began to feel the world around you.

There was air. It was crisp, but not uncomfortably cold. Something soft was behind you, but you couldn't distinguish what it was. Your existence slowly morphed from nothingness to darkness.

It's dark, you thought to yourself, before realization began to dawn on you, My eyes must be closed.

Then, the object behind you became clearer as you felt gravity pushing down on you.

I'm laying down, you realized, I'm laying down on something soft, and I feel it behind me.

The elements of the surrounding world, that you'd once known, were slowly beginning to materialize in your mind, grounding you from your spiritual state.

As you became aware of the body that you were in, you struggled to move. However, you felt paralyzed.

Slowly, my child. Not yet, an unknown, yet comforting voice rang within your head, startling you, You will return at your own pace.

Suddenly, something agitated you. Then, it agitated another part of you. Concentrating, you tried to picture your surroundings.

My face, you decided, Someone is touching my face.

The touch did wonders to ground you further. It gave you perspective. You relaxed into its warm embrace, allowing the remaining parts of yourself to materialize. Before long, you felt steady.

Your body was laying down on the soft, marsh-like material of the ground. Small tendrils were gripping the sides of your skin. A large hand was cupping your cheek, slowly rubbing a thumb over your cheekbone. At last, you felt like you could breathe.

"Hhhh." A small, almost intangible, sigh, left your lips.

The thumb froze its movements, lifting itself above your skin, hovering shakily over your cheek.

"Baby girl?" a hesitant voice spoke.

It was so close. It had to be right above you. Fatigue faded and a new wave of strength washed over you. Using this strength, you concentrated on the muscles of your eyes. After a minute, you managed to lift them open.

At first, everything was white. However, the white quickly faded as a hazy world transpired before you. You were too busy trying to clear your vision to take notice of the gasps and screams around you.

"Oh Great Mother!" a voice wailed, "Great Mother, thank you! Thank you!"

The back of your head was cupped and two faces nuzzled into your cheeks. Blinking rapidly, you finally saw the world clear around you. The faces lifted, and you met the gazes of your mother and father.

After processing their faces, you finally gained the strength to speak.

"Hi." Your voice came out breathlessly.

Smiling widely, they both broke into a relieved wave of laughter. Their eyes, which were pouring with tears, glanced at each other before returning to you.

"Hello, my love," Neytiri replied as Jake spoke a raspy, "Hi, baby girl."

"Baby sister?"

Your eyes shifted behind your father's head. A joyous expression spread across your face as Neteyam and Lo'ak came into view. Tears were leaking from their faces, as well.

"Big brothers," you greeted, smiling widely at them.

Neteyam ran his hand over his face, wiping the tears, before scooting closer to you. When he reached his hand out, you immediately outstretched yours. The two of you grabbed hands and squeezed tightly. Lo'ak did the same, grabbing your other hand.

"I love you, big brothers," you said before turning to your father, "Daddy?"

He'd been staring at you, an expression of astonishment still evident on his face. "Daddy?" you called again.

He snapped out of his trance. "Y-Yes?" he replied, nerves evident in his voice, "I'm here, I'm here."

"Uncle Tsu'tey," you answered, making his mouth fall agape, "He delivered the message--from all of you. He told me that you all were calling to me, and that The Great Mother could return me to you."

Jake's eyes, which had slightly calmed, were overwhelmed with a new wave of tears. Tilting his head, he gripped the back of your neck.

"Is that right?" he asked, shifting his eyes to Neytiri.

When you turned to your mother, she smiled at you. "He is your family too," she whispered, brushing a finger over your cheek, "He came for guidance."

Nodding your head, you released your brothers' hands before cupping the back of your parents' heads. They leaned in, allowing you to hold them closely. Jake and Neytiri reached their hands out, pulling Neteyam and Lo'ak in as the family wrapped themselves around your small body.

-

As your family walked away from the tree, along with the rest of The People, you looked up at your father.

"Daddy?" you called.

Jake, who had been walking with an arm around your shoulders, looked down. "Yeah, baby?"

Your mother, who was holding the hand farthest from Jake, looked over at the sound of your voice.

"Are we still living with the Metkayina?" you asked.

He sighed before tightening his grip on you. "It isn't safe for you here, because this is our home. It's known to everyone," he answered, making you nod in response, "but with the Metkayina, you'll be safer. And, should anything happen, you'll be protected by Tonowari and his family while we go out on the field."

Gazing in front of you, you answered in a quiet voice. "I won't be fighting anymore."

"No." Jake, Neytiri, Neteyam, and Lo'ak replied together.

"Hell no. Absolutely not. Out of the question," Jake continued sternly, "We lost you once, but were fortunate enough to be blessed with a miracle."

When you didn't respond, he glanced down at you. Sensing his eyes, you lowered your gaze before nodding obediently.

Realizing that he'd let his emotions get the best of him, he halted his movements before turning to you and cupping your face with both hands. "I'm sorry, baby girl. I just--I got a little . . . " He stopped, closing his eyes to collecting his words. "I won't lose you again," he whispered, shaking his head as his eyes grew hazy, "I wouldn't--I couldn't even bear it the first time."

Feeling your own eyes gloss over, you tilted your head before gripping one of his wrists. "I know, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

His hands, which were rubbing your cheeks, moved up to cup the top of your head. They smoothed over your head and ran down your lengthy hair. He'd always petted your hair, but you knew that this act of comfort was moreso for himself, than for you.

He couldn't believe you were there, standing right in front of him, breathing again. He was so afraid that, if he disconnected his physical touch, you would disappear and fade into a cloud of dust.

"Don't apologize," he finally replied, "Don't you ever apologize for this. If anything . . . we should be thanking you . . . for coming back to us."

He shifted his gaze to look at the rest of your family. Neteyam stepped closer before taking your free hand. After smiling glossily at each member of your family, you looked back at your father.

"I still needed all of you," you replied, "and you still needed me."

Cupping the back of your head, Jake placed a kiss on your forehead.

-

The pain, so familiar, was almost as strong as the first time you'd felt it. The vision of your chest, and the red liquid leaking from it, was branded into your mind. It was so clear, like you were in the moment, once again.

"Y/N."

You looked up at Neteyam, and his petrified gaze that paralyzed you.

"Baby girl, look at me. Open you eyes."

Sucking in a harsh breath, your eyes snapped open as you jerked yourself to a sitting position. Panting, you blinked rapidly before looking around, desperately trying to establish your surroundings.

"Baby, hey. Hey, hey, hey."

Arms were around you, restricting your movements. The panic spiked within you as you thrashed harder, still seized by the terror of your nightmare.

"Shh, shh, shh. I know, I know. It's okay, it's okay."

You finally recognized your father's soft coos. Freezing your movements, you looked around the dimly-lit hut. However, when your eyes failed to locate him, your breath picked up again.

"Dad," you wheezed, feeling your chest tighten up.

"Here, baby," Jake whispered, gently turning your head to face him, "I'm right here."

He was cradling you, but his arms were also restricting your arms, keeping them at your sides. You wheezed as you struggled to break from your frantic state.

"I was--It was--"

He only nodded, rocking you in his lap. "I know, I know."

Jake knew what your nightmare was about. In fact, he'd been expecting this. There was no way that you'd adjust back to your life without the trauma you'd experienced coming back to haunt you in some form.

Your shallow breaths prohibited your ability to form a sentence. "I can't--I can't--"

"I got you," he whispered, nodding down at you, "I got you, baby. It's all over. It's all over."

He grabbed your shaking hand and pressed it to his chest, allowing you to feel his heartbeat. As you rested your head in the crook of his elbow, Jake kept his gaze fiercely trained on you and stopped his rocking movements.

"You feel this?" he asked, squeezing you gently to emphasize his grip on you, "I've got you. You're mine. My baby, my little girl. All mine." He shook his head. "No one's taking you from me ever again."

Shaking all over, you sucked in a harsh, audible breath as tears began pouring down your cheeks. A long, loud sob tore through your lips before you took in another loud breath.

It took everything in Jake to hold back his own tears. The fragility of your state made it imperative for him to show no signs of weakness. You were looking to him for comfort--for protection from the horrors of your mind.

"Big breaths, baby. Big breaths," he instructed, resuming his rocking movements, "That's it."

Using his chest as a reference, you slowly adjusted yourself to imitate his breathing patterns. He flattened his large hand over yours.

"That's my girl." His voice proved to be highly therapeutic for you. It was the first voice you'd heard, and the last one you'd heard. "So good. You're doing so good."

After a long few minutes, he'd finally managed to ground you from your panic attack. Your breaths grew even and your sobs quieted. Apart from Jake's continuous rocking motions, no signs of you distress remained.

"All mine," he repeated, shaking his head in disbelief as he gazed down at you.

As your eyes began to droop, you snapped them open. Finally breaking from Jake's grasp, you sat up before scooting next to him, never taking your hand off of his chest.

He squeezed the hand that he was holding. "What is it, baby?"

"I can't go back to sleep," you whimpered, shaking your head, "I won't."

Jake sighed, completely understanding your fear. However, he desperately wanted you to get some more rest, knowing the toll a lack of sleep could take on you--physically and emotionally.

He thought for a moment, rubbing his thumb over your hand. Then, an idea finally materialized in his head. Gently, he stood up, raising you up with him. When you gave him a questioning look, he nodded towards the hut entrance.

"C'mon," he said, taking your hand and guiding you towards the doorway.

The two of you walked a small distance before arriving at a hammock that your family had set up outside the hut. Jake sat on the swinging object. Then, he spread his legs out and positioned himself to lay down. Finally, he gave your hand a gentle tug, signaling you to come to him.

"C'mere."

He pulled you into the spot next to him, cupping your head as you placed it on his chest.

"I don't want to sleep," you stressed, earning a shush from him.

"We aren't," he whispered, "We're stargazing."

For a long moment, Jake waited until he felt you relax against him--completely letting your guard down--before initializing the second part of his plan.

His mind hadn't wandered to his Earth life in years. However, a soft, Earthling tune, echoing from the distant memories of his childhood, overtook his mind when you'd first protested the idea of sleeping.

Prior to Pandora, music--or any artistic realm--never proved to be Jake's forte. However, life with the Omaticaya had changed every fiber of his DNA. Many nights had been spent singing, dancing, chanting, and celebrating. Therefore, it wasn't too out-of-character for him to sing for you. However, it was unusual for him to sing an Earth song.

"Stay awake, don't rest your head," he slowly began, making your eyes--which you hadn't realized had closed--snap back open, "Don't lie down upon your bed."

He couldn't place where he knew the song from but, for some reason, the lyrics came with a foreign ease. "While the moon drifts in the skies, stay awake don't close your eyes."

Glancing down to check on you, he watched your eyes begin to droop again. Acting carefully, he began petting your head, further coaxing your tiredness. "Though the world is fast asleep, though your pillow soft and deep," he continued, dropping his voice to a lower volume, "You're not sleepy as you seem. Stay awake, don't nod and dream . . ."

Just as he'd hoped, your head fell limp on his chest. Releasing a breath, he leaned down and gave you a kiss. Then, he relaxed against the hammock, enjoying the feeling of your beating heart and peaceful breaths--simple things he was so thankful that you'd been given a second chance at possessing.

Taglist : @eywas-daughter @pturnersblog @bombshe77 @faatxma @scryarchives @gamorxa @222krn @ellabellabus07 @perfectprofessorloverapricot @raefoxi@egirl @vampxra @itssiaaax @tinkerbelle05 @brittclass-18 @missroro @aisylazzy @leomatsuzaki @joey-hoey @eternallyvenus @mae-is-crazy


Tags :
whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
2 years ago

Yes lo'ak best brother somebody help me

The Sully's Stick Together.

The Sully's Stick Together.
The Sully's Stick Together.

request: "You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger." Sully! Reader to Sully! Parents? Just a fluffy family fic please

pairings: sully!family x sully!daughter

summary: becoming one with the metkayina's has not been an easy task. as everyone continues to settle in their own ways, your family begins to grow more worried about your well-being. this isn't the sully they know. you're withdrawn, and quiet. what better way to fix that than to seek you out when you least expect it?

note: hi if you're confused so am i! there were issues when i first posted this so i am reposting it again. thank you for the love on the previous one though! // trust me this is fluffy 😭 just have to go through a lil angst to get to that part <33 this is purely a self-indulgent hurt/comfort fic! didn't fully proofread this btw! pls feel free to reblog and leave your thoughts in the comments.

cw: bullying, discrimination, angst but fluff at the end, descriptions of loneliness, hurt/comfort, you're gonna wish even more that u were a sully after reading this.

wordcount: 3.2k

The Sully's Stick Together.

The ocean was not your friend, you could only look at the endless channel of water in disdain. This was far too daunting for you, you liked the little rivers or ponds back at home. The sealife while beautiful, petrified you.

You missed the lush greens and the smell of the dew from the occasional rain back in the jungle. It was easy to forget your responsibilities, not that you had as many as your other siblings. Being the second youngest Sully had its perks. Not older than Lo'ak, and not younger than Tuk.

The "expeditions" you went on now made you look like a fool. You didn't know the terrain here, how to navigate fluidly through the water like Tsireya, Ao'nung, or Roxto.

Each passing day your siblings got better at managing to hold their breath, and riding their Ilu's. But you were still stuck in the past.

It felt reality kept kicking you in the face. Your stubborn self was annoyed as well. Holding a grudge against your family. It seemed like no one missed home. You understood why your parents made the decision they did, but it didn't make the act of doing so hurt any less.

At least you had these quiet moments before your thoughts ran rampant to practice your breathing.

You were suddenly interrupted from your twisting thoughts when a nudge was directed at your head.

It was Ao'nung and his crew.

"Leave me alone." You hissed at them, not wanting to deal with their bullshit today.

"Leave me alone." Ao'nung mocked you as he tugged on your tail.

You quickly stood up, looking to see if any of your family were close by. They weren't. You were supposed to be back in the Mauri but once again, you lost track of time.

"No one is here to help you, Y/n."

They grabbed your hand, poking insults at you and your family. You knew better than to talk back, especially if no one was here to help you out. It was 4 against 1. So instead you bit your lip and kept your mouth shut.

"Roxto, are you there?" His mother called from around the corner, startling the goonies.

"You're in luck, scram!" Ao'nung hissed at you.

Eyes widening, you stumbled as you rushed back to your Mauri. You didn't dare look back at your tormentors.

Once you were a few steps away, you slowed your pace. Catching your breath, before making your way inside.

The worried chatter of your family halted when you made your presence.

Neytiri stopped pacing, moving over to you and grabbing your face in her hands.

"Ewya help me before I lose it. Where have you been? You're 15 minutes late! I was about to send your brothers out to look for you."

Had it really been that long?

"I'm sorry." You looked down in shame. It's weird being on the brunt end of the stick. Even your parents have grown more accustomed to having to tell you off rather than Lo'ak. It was definitely odd.

"You didn't answer your mother's question, where have you been?" Jake didn't like being stern with you, but you being late to dinner had been happening more regularly.

You used to be a stickler for these dinners, being the one to push for them. How everyone had to be in attendance, and on time. It was family bonding time, moments to catch up on what everyone had done that day.

"Just around, I was with my Ilu - I'm sorry."

Neteyams eyebrows arched in confusion, he had just been with his Ilu. You were nowhere in sight. He decided to let it slide this time, but he couldn't help but wonder where you snuck off too.

"Alright well, you really got to keep track of time yeah. You used to love these dinners!"

"Yes, and I still do!" You answered too quickly, not missing a beat.

If Jake wasn't suspicious before, he certainly was now. But like Neteyam, he decided to let it slide. Your brothers had told him and Neytiri how you've been struggling to catch up and learn everything in the lessons.

That was partially it, but if only he was aware of the bigger picture.

Jake nodded, looking to Neytiri. She also held a look of concern, but Jake made a silent signal that basically stated:

"We shouldn't push it, not now."

"Well, let's eat before the food gets even colder." Neytiri ushered her kids over, keeping a close eye on you.

Your family gathers around the food that was already set, and start eating. As all your siblings chatted excitedly about the activities they've done throughout the day. You didn't say a thing, not even piping in.

Neytiri and Jake once again met gazes, thinking the same thing.

Something's wrong with our daughter.

Soon dinner was over and it was time to rest, as your family rested together you couldn't help yourself as you removed Tuk's arm that clung to your shoulder.

Maneuvering your way outside, you jumped into the water. Why sleep when you can practice again?

Before Eclipse ended you made sure to squeeze the excess water out of your hair and made yourself comfortable alongside your comfortable. Your body ached and could no longer fight off your sleep deprivation. But it was worth it, you could hold your breath a lot longer now under water.

From then on, it gradually got worse. Even your siblings would struggle to find you throughout the day. You'd take longer naps through the day, and Lo'ak knew you were sneaking out at night. Your essence seemed to further rid itself from you, and all that was left was a hollow shell of yourself.

They too, shared similar thoughts with their parents. No longer could they see you dwindle away. It didn't sit right with them, you're a Sully through and through. Sully's stick together.

So they did what they know best and was most accessible to them, track.

Instead this time they weren't on a hunt, or looking for what was to be a good meal for their clan. They were following the steps of their baby sister.

If you stepped out of your brain for a moment, you would have immediately clocked them. But once again, Y/n was shut in her own bubble.

"Bro, don't you find it weird that she hasn't realised we are here?" Lo'ak whispered as he looked at you behind the leaves keeping them hidden.

"Shut up, Lo'ak" Neteyam grumbled. He didn't want to agree even if his words held some truth.

"Hey, I have to agree with him. We shouldn't have been able to get this far. She's usually far too hyperaware of her surroundings." Kiri observed you, stunned and clueless.

They'd never been to this part of Awa'atlu before. They'd been so fixated on the ocean. They had yet to really explore the area that surrounded their new home. It oddly felt like they were waltzing through their past.

At last, you came upon your tree. You liked it because it had a specific branch that you could curve into. Blend in, and be one with your surroundings. Like you had used to do before in the jungle. This was now your next best option.

Your siblings looked in confusion at one another, not understanding how this could be the reason you've been periodically gone. Did you spend all your time here?

But then it came.

It was barely there, and you were struggling to catch your breath. The cries. It strikes through the serene sounds of the waves crashing against the shore, and the nearby insects chirping.

Your sibling's ears flattened as they looked at each other in sheer worry. You were a spitfire, but you had always been calm and collected. The physical embodiment of the word warm. Happiness was always with you. So where did it all go wrong?

"Great mother, I fear that I am not good enough. I thought consistency was key, I've been trying to practice anytime I can. But I'm so tired. I've never felt this weak and useless?" You mumbled to yourself, looking up into the sky.

Groaning in frustration, you continued."Maybe Ao'nung was right. I will never be one of the people. I will always be too alien. I will never be able to live up to my family."

Lo'ak enraged by the doubts you had voiced stepped out from their cover.

Your ears tuned into the noise, you finally tuned into your senses and became more alert. As you hopped off the branch, hastily wiping your tears.

"Brother." You choked out, lips trembling.

He took slow steps towards you, trying to soothe you as he brought you into a hug.

"Baby sister," he said so quietly, solemnly.

You couldn't remember the last time he hugged you, and neither he could he. It wore his heart down, seeing you in such a vulnerable state.

Soon the presence of more arms wrapped around you both, clinging onto you - securing you in their grasps. For the first time in a long time, tenderness surged through you.

"We've got you, Y/n. You're going to be alright. Let it all out now." Neteyam who was at your right side gave you a gentle kiss on your forehead, muttering to himself - "Oh my baby sister."

Kiri had never felt such pain from you, it came off in waves. And it almost debilitated her. In that moment, it was the most protective she had felt for you. It synced through all of them, a fire had awaken in the pit of their souls - so fierce that even Toruk Makto would flinch from it.

Slowly your breaths began to ease, and your tense shoulders slumped down. It was emotionally taxing having had all these emotions balled up inside you. Now it was unraveling, and it felt all too bittersweet.

Your siblings sensing this, mellowed out on their group hug they were giving you. Moving over, you all settled down against the tree you've been confiding in moments before.

Tuk grabbed your hand while Kiri tucked your intricate braids behind your ears. You mouthed a "thank you", leaning your head on her shoulder.

All it took was Neteyam to ask a very simple question, "What's been going on, baby sister?"

And once your mouth opened, you decided - why not just let them in on everything? So you did. You told them about how ashamed and humiliated you had felt when you started lagging behind. How Ao'nung and his friends would tease you whenever they had the chance to do. (It was always away from prying eyes). Due to that, it only made the feelings of hatred you harbored for yourself - increase a tenth-fold.

A deliberately belligerent cycle was born. Self-doubt equated to "I will push myself to the brink of exhaustion". You seek out your family thinking they'd have noticed. But they were too caught up in their own commitments to realise your intentions.

All you wanted was for any of them to see the hard work you had been pouring in. But how could they when you always lingered on the outskirts? Late to dinner, late to the lessons, never seen. They couldn't appreciate what was in front of them because they hadn't witnessed it themselves. How utterly ironic.

"I see why you didn't, but I wish you had told us, Y/n. We could have helped you." Kiri insisted as she patted your head.

"I know." You grumbled, but you were grateful for how attentive they are to you.

"Ao'nung will pay." Lo'ak seethed, completely shifting the topic of conversation.

Neteyam rolled his eyes and interjected. "He will, but not in the way you are seeing it in your mind right now. We have to go to dad and mum about this."

Your irritated eyes widened, leaping up from where your back had laid against the tree. Y/n scowled at Neteyam, her tail flicking in anguish. No, not her parents.

"Absolutely not, 'Teyam. They mustn't know anything of this." You countered him, disbelief flooding your features. Your parents would only perceive you as a failure, and that was the last thing you could stomach right now.

Neteyam stood up by you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. He shook his head at you and gave you one of his brotherly grins.

"Baby sister, they are just as worried as we are." He looked behind you, and urged you to turn around.

Oh great mother, that could only mean one thing.

Ember crashed on ember, one filled with panic, and two filled with distraught. The tension was taut, but all your parents wanted to do was cradle you in their arms like they had in your first few months of life.

"Kids, back to the Mauri." Jake ordered them, pointing back to where it was.

"But dad-" Lo'ak butted in, worriedly looking at you.

"It's okay. Thank you, Lo'ak." You coaxed him to join your siblings who were also hesitating a little.

They disappeared amongst nature, and their footsteps grew fainter and fainter. Until all that was left was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. It felt oddly comforting being in their company even though doubt was eating you up from the inside.

It's been a while.

Neytiri was the first to approach you, her hands shook as she cradled your face. She took you in for the first time in weeks, and this time she was able to do it properly. Lately, she'd only been able to admire you whilst you sleep, or during meals.

In the morning you'd be gone in a blink of an eye. Throwing a haphazard, "I'll see you later", over your shoulder.

She missed you profoundly, so much that it physically pained her sometimes. Neytiri treasured you deeply, to put it bluntly - her heart felt like it'd been slashed by a Thanotor ever since you started pushing yourself away.

Jake followed in his mate's footsteps. His eye's tearing into your soul and trying to catch if there had been any profound changes that have occurred to you.

"You don't look like yourself." Jake stumbled on his words.

Neytiri hissed, smacking your dad on the back of his head. A slight giggle escaped you that made both of their hearts sing. "Ma jake."

"Sorry." He mumbled, giving you a cheeky grin.

Y/n's doubts were already melting away before she herself could even acknowledge it. She grabbed both her parent's hands, leading them over to her tree not too far away from where they had been standing.

Mimicking how she and her siblings were just before, she settled against the tree again, bringing her parents down with her.

The trio admired their surroundings, taking in the wonders of Pandora. Especially Jake, and Neytiri. This is the closest they've felt to something akin to the jungle they'd once inhabited.

"I'm sure you heard everything, and it is true. I am sorry if I've disappointed you guys. I thought I could manage it all on my own."

Neytiri played with your hair and could only chastise your words. "You did not disappoint us, if anything - you infuriated us. We were just worried about you, our dear daughter."

Jake nodded in agreement. "We love you, and we want to be there for you. We will if you allow us. That's what we are here for. You don't need to fight these battles alone. Remember what I told you, baby girl?"

You rolled your eyes and pushed your dad away from you jokingly.

"It's us against the world." You mumbled.

Jake teasingly put a hand to his ear. "I'm sorry? What was that? I couldn't hear you."

Neytiri let out a soft laugh at you two's antics, watching with endearment sparkling in her eyes.

Clearing your throat, you reiterated your words. "It's us against the world."

Jake did extravagant hand motions, "More enthusiasm please!"

You were beaming, yelling out, "It's us against the world!"

"That's right baby, it is." Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulders bringing you to his side. Neytiri instinctively leaned against you both.

Y/n couldn't help but admire her parents. They were her foundation, her protectors. She couldn't believe that she used to be ashamed of being a Sully. It was her legacy, one she is only beginning to pave. She wasn't about to let Na'vi who didn't truly know her, dictate her life any longer.

"You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger." You started, staring at your parents.

"I just - I couldn't catch up. There are so many other bigger things to worry about, and I thought.. I don't know. That I'd overcome this. I tried to love the ocean and the people. But I miss home. I miss everything that was green, now it's just all blue! That's actually why I like this place so much." You rambled, arms waving erratically. It felt gratifying to get it off your chest, especially to the two people you have wanted to tell from the get-go.

Your parents nodded, taking all your words in. But they were still conflicted. Their daughter had a competitive nature like no other, every time the world pushed her down - she always got back up. If you were lagging behind so much, you would have just pushed yourself more. Work extra hard, and seek help from your family.

But you haven't done any of that this time. All the means necessary she could have used as a stepping stone were left out of this equation. Instead, you had suffered in silence.

"You know, Y/n. It's not your fault for feeling like you don't belong. But you are one of us. You are Sully, you are the embodiment of strong heart. It does not matter what others say to you when no one else is there. It does not matter that you have 5 fingers." Neytiri protested, sighing.

She made sure you were looking at her, hearing her.

"What matters is how you control how it affects you. You are still growing, baby. This is a lesson you will remember for a lifetime and the next." Neytiri advised you, squeezing your hand.

"Your mother is right. At the end of the day, the power is in your hands. So use it, sweetheart. Follow your heart, and let us know next time if it gets a little too much. Alright?" Jake expanded on what Neytiri had told you.

You looked down at their hands holding yours. Yeah, Sully's really do stick together. And you wouldn't trade that for anything else in this world and all the other's orbiting you.

"Alright." Y/n restated, tugging both of her parents up with her. They stared at their child with confusion.

"Let's go back home." This time what you threw over your shoulder to them was a sweet smile, dimples and all.

Neytiri and Jake spoke with only their eyes as they let Y/n guide them back to their Mauri.

Our daughter is going to be just fine.

࿐ ࿔*:・゚˳೫˚

bonus:

Y/n's laughter could be heard inside the Mauri as she played in the water with Tuk just in front of their home.

Jake turned to Lo'ak and Neteyam who were doing some chores.

He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck.

"I'll turn a blind eye if you decide to give Ao'nung a beating or two. Just for today." Jake mentioned, before going back to cleaning his gun.

Lo'ak had a devious grin, rubbing his knuckles together, "Yes Sir."

The Sully's Stick Together.

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑


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whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
2 years ago

I think I just put some comments about wanting part 4 dang 😭😭

❝ 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐘𝐒 (4)

synopsis — eywa does not take sides; she protects only the balance of life.

pairings — platonic!sullys x adoptee!reader

notes — more language than previous parts... angst? and also it's really long and! if you see any mistakes no you didnt

 (4)

you ripped through the bushes, bounding over the large roots of the trees, willing your feet to carry you as far as possible from the nightmare that was behind you.

you do not get to speak here.

those words alone made anger swell in your body. it was infuriating because ao'nung was fucking right. you're not na'vi. you're human, and everything that word represents. you absolutely despise it.

you ran hard and fast until the only thing you could hear was your own heartbeat. you heaved out a choking gasp, your body vibrating with emotion you didn't know how to deal with. you went into overdrive, panting rapidly as thoughts raced through your head a mile a minute.

you hated humans. hated how they sent the worst possible people to engage with a new society and culture, the most ungrateful souls to appreciate the beauty that is pandora. hated their guns. hated their ships. hated their fucking drills and their mining and their hunting. stars, you wanted to claw the eyes out of all those old businessmen and feed it to—

you laughed hollowly to yourself. it was a sound with no joy. you sounded like your mom.

except... she wasn't your mom. not really.

you aren't navi. even with the honorary title.

you are human.

you hated humans.

you hated... yourself.

you stared, wide-eyed with pressed lips, at the luminescent trunk beneath you. you hated yourself.

with a shout of rage, you punched the bark, driving your fist forward with the weight of the new conviction. the harsh surface cut your skin, the passing wind merrily whistling by, as if laughing at the sour, red reminder dripping down your arm.

the gut-wrenching scream evolved into a whimper. your legs felt weak as they wobbled underneath you, shaken by the sobs wreaking through your body. hot, ugly tears streamed down your face. you grabbed at your arms, pulling brutally at the skin with the hope of ripping it all off.

"i'm useless!" you wailed, knocking your head against the wood of the tree. "i'm—" you choked on the sadness leaving you, "useless..."

you hated how you, literally, stood as ao'nung and his posse berated your siblings, unable to do anything to protect them. you couldn't call yourself the eldest if you can't diffuse a situation like that. neteyam... you whimpered, meekly trekking deeper into the forest. neteyam will take good care of them.

better than you did.

you sniffed, rubbing your cheeks of tears until they burned with a sensation only despair and anger could give.

a part of you wanted to run to your dad—to jake, because he would stroke your head, thumb your cheeks... he'd press a kiss on your forehead and... your lips quivered. he'd say, "everything's going to be fine, baby." i'm real proud of you, okay?

proud of what? proud of how you're a physical hinderance to their survival? proud of how you bring shame to their otherwise noble family? proud of how you require defending in almost every situation you encounter? you wanted to yell into the darkness, but your sore throat wouldn't allow it.

did you deserve such comfort? after bringing discourse to the family for merely existing? you heard what ao'nung said. the sullys have brought a thief!

you just wanted to help.

you ground your teeth with an intensity that almost knocked one loose. what a cruel twist of fate, to be a part of a family that could never be truly yours.

your breathing had calmed, regressing to occasional hiccups and burst of tears. there is no fate, a voice said in your head; neytiri's. only eywa, my love.

you never stopped to think whether of not eywa listened to you; despite being human, you felt her presence and guiding hand pushing you forward to connect with this world that became your home. it wasn't her fault that those connections were always faulty and resulted in a hard slap of reality.

you glanced up at the sky. you felt the thrum of the land... the hum of the wind. pandora was your home. eywa was your great mother. the na'vi just... weren't your people, as the course of life has proved to you over, and over again.

but, stars, did you want them to be.

you inhaled sharply. longing prickled your eyes with tears, and loneliness triggered the hurt in your throat. you wanted to be na'vi.

fresh tears renewed the stains from before. your eyes flitted from star to star. you exhaled slowly. you really wanted to be na'vi.

you wanted the prowess of neytiri. you wanted the strength of jake. you wanted belonging. to be able to look at neteyam, lo'ak, kiri, and tuk and see yourself. to stop pretending that the running height difference joke was just another way of compensating for your alien presence. you couldn't stand being a demon any longer.

"great mother," the words barely left you, but you knew she heard you. your eyes fluttered shut.

"is it too much..." stars, you couldn't stop crying. "is it too much to ask to be more like my family?"

you expected the silent reply. you didn't expect it to break you further. still, you thanked her. "i would be forever grateful... if you gave me a chance."

well. you cradled your scraped hand, now tuning into the blood running down to your elbow. you didn't want to go back. you had no right. jake should have left you in the mountains to avoid all of this, and maybe the kids could have gotten a little more respect around the village—

suddenly, leaves, twigs, and sand began to fly into your face. sputtering, you shielded your eyes, your head pounding in beat with the helicopter blades.

helicopter blades?

you stood, frozen in fear, as you thought—the rda? why are they all the way out here— before you could even finish your thought, you were running. you prayed to eywa they hadn't seen you. you needed to warn jake.

(. . .)

lyle chewed on nothing in an attempt to look cool, his newly heightened senses picking up on an abnormal noises in the forest below. "hey, boss."

quaritch turned to him. "what?"

lyle nodded towards the foliage, using binoculars to get a better view of what he was hearing. "there's someone running out there."

quaritch snatched the binoculars from him, peering through them himself. "'s probably just some animal or somethin. oh—now, hold on a minute here," an evil grin spread onto his face. "now, that's really something. i thought they had gone home like the rest of 'em."

lyle raised an eyebrow and dumbly asked, "who, sir?"

quaritch clicked his tongue and threw the tool at his subordinate's face. "you worked the closest with trudy, you should fucking know." he leaned towards the cockpit and barked, "take us down!"

knowing jake and his oh-so-good spirit, quaritch reasoned, i bet that kid's gonna mean a lot to him.

the blades cut through some trees, but whatever. quaritch was excited. his plan was finally getting somewhere. he turned to his squad. "you find that kid, you grab 'em and you bring 'em back here, understood?"

"and if they resist?"

quaritch scoffed, turning away and rubbing his eyes. "beat them up or somethin, i dunno. just don't kill them. that's leverage."

(. . .)

you were exhausted.

your legs couldn't go another step; they'd give out for sure. but you had to keep going. you'd drag yourself there if you had to—jake and his family were in trouble.

you heard whoops of excitement behind you, and you heart immediately sank. as if to rub it in, your foot caught on a root and you fell weirdly, surely spraining it.

"shit!" you exclaimed, seething at the sharp pain. your actions to get up stopped abruptly when you heard the clicking of guns.

"now, sweetheart, we're gonna take you in." one of the soldiers smiled, the others reflecting a similar joy in this hunt.

you were confused—they were na'vi? no, avatars.

"get up," another grabbed your arm, yanking you towards them.

crack!

you screamed in pain and the avatars shared looks. you caught some of their chatter: that didn't sound good. who cares? at least they won't be able to run away.

your eyes burned with tiredness as your body fell numb to your senses. your vision went black.

"oh! lights out." laughter was the last thing you remembered.

(. . .)

neytiri was livid. jake was distraught.

they skillfully tread through the forest, quiet in contemplation. they felt too much, too strongly, to be able to have a proper conversation about anything.

he knelt down to a nearby tree, brushing his fingers against the roots and ground. he brought them up to catch the light. jake felt something rip his chest open and snatch his heart away.

they were red. with blood, human blood.

neytiri gasped sharply at the sight, and the two shared a look that confirmed the fear they had. jake glared into the far reaches of the forest, both parents' ears perking up as they saw a helicopter leave the area.

"y/n!" neytiri shrieked in horror, sprinting towards the ship. jake caught up to her and held her back, tightening his arms around to comfort her... and him, as well.

"no use," jake whispered, hating the words that left his mouth. "they're gone."

you had one job, jake.

"we need to—!" neytiri yelled into his chest, her eyes still focused on the little black dot in the sky.

"we will." a fire was lit inside of jake, one that he'd only experience in spells before. "we will."

 (4)

was this angsty enough ?

© skxawngg

taglist : @jacsssssssss , @destinylb , @sully-stick-together , @simpliheavenli , @eywas-heir , @fanboyluvr , @daenerysluvrr , @hellok1ttycake , @lola-bunn1 , @voicestookmydays , @austynparksandpizza , @orkwardx10 , @persondoingstuff , @theghostofshadows , @badoptimistic , @midnightliacr , @r3dc4ndy , @historygeekqueen , @katelyn1234 , @ijwsbdinp ,,, comment to be added to the tag list !! some didn't work and if you dont see yourself here , i only took the requests on part 3 .


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