IRRESIST

IRRESIST

PAIRING: jungkook x reader

GENRE: vampire jungkook, human reader, slight fluff, heavy angst

TAGS/WARNING: violence, manipulation, manhandling, assault, murder, blood, attempted rape (nothing graphic!), angst, sensitive/paranoid oc, panic attack, trauma

WORD COUNT: 7.8k (excl. synopsis)

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦!

𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗡𝗢 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗠 𝗢𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡

SYNOPSIS;

Trust between a human and a vampire in the context of love is a complicated series of challenges that combines fear, curiosity, and vulnerability. For humans, trust involves overcoming natural instincts and societal conditioning. They deal with the temptation of the unknown while faced with the vampire's inherent danger. Meanwhile, the vampire, often burdened by decades of loneliness and secrecy, must rely on their own restraint and loyalty of their human partner in the face of their ravening thirst.

You trusted Jungkook despite what your parents had instilled about his kind and your own paranoia. You loved him, and you had never loved someone so much as him. But from time to time, you couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Jungkook had broken your trust. You knew he had good control of himself and would never hurt you that way, but the thought of the unpredictable future scared you a bit.

𐚁₊⊹

────

Once considered creatures of myth and legend, vampires emerged from the darkness years ago to proclaim their dominance over the earth. They conquered humanity with their immortal lives, undefinable power and thirst for blood, reducing humans to an alienated minority fighting for survival at night.

Amongst the group of oppressed minorities was you, a young college student born into a society where fear and caution were as essential as the air you breathed.

Raised as an only child by parents who had witnessed the horrors of vampire dominion firsthand, you were nurtured with an inherent sense of alertness. They taught you how to navigate carefully in a world where one wrong move could cost you your life.

You heard all sorts of horrifying stories, but it wasn’t until you witnessed their brutal savagery with your own eyes for the first time. And as you grew older, you continued coming across more of the atrocities.

You could never stomach the fact that you lived in a world where merciless monsters ruled over the world and hunted humans like animals, and everyday you were scared for your life and those of who you cared about.

But it was about two years ago when your whole life changed.

It was quite late that day, you were hurrying home after a late class and your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of assignment. But little did you know that the night would transform your world forever.

You were walking through the deserted alleyway, and when you rounded a corner, you stumbled upon a chilling sight. A tall figure stood towering over another man, and his hand was wrapped around his neck with a tight iron grip. The man helplessly tried to break free but it was clear to you that he was no match to the other guy.

You were frozen in horror as you witnessed him effortlessly snap his neck. As you watched the lifeless man’s body drop cold with a thud, a bloodcurdling scream tore from your lips, echoing in the isolated streets as terror gripped your soul.

When the dark figure turned to face you, you felt the colours on your face drain completely. You felt as if your heart was about to jump out of your chest.

He was everything you had been warned about — tall, terrifying, and unmistakably a vampire. His eyes were ruby-red, like pools of crimson fire, and somewhat mesmerising. His skin was pale as a ghost which seemed to glow under the moonlight.

He then began to walk towards you, his movements slow and fluid, like a predator eyeing his prey. Your mind was screaming at you to turn and run, but you felt your feet glued to the ground. And as he drew closer, your heart raced at an unimaginable pace. Your breathing was erratic as droplets of sweat cascaded down the side of your face.

But to your surprise, he didn't lunge at you with fangs bared, ready to drain you of your lifeblood. Instead, he was looking at you with his head tilted to the side, studying your trembling form with curious intensity.

“Are you afraid of me, human?” he asked, his tone tinged with amusement. You nodded, unable to form words as you stared into those crimson eyes.

“You have every reason to be,” he continued, his lips curling into a sarcastic smile.

Like a flicker of light, you saw the colour of his eyes shift to a darker brown.

“But I assure you, I mean you no harm”.

His words should have sounded hollow, devoid of sincerity. After all, he was a vampire, a creature of the night who thrived on the blood of the living. And your instincts screamed at you to flee, to run as far away as possible from this creature of the night.

But something held you in place, a strange mixture of fear and curiosity. You found yourself studying him, taking in every detail of his supernatural presence.

And as you looked into his eyes, you sensed a hint of something else beneath the surface — loneliness, perhaps, or even longing.

Jungkook had walked the earth for ages, witnessing the rise and fall of empires, yet never finding satisfaction in the short-lived pleasures of mortal life. Many feared him, and those who knew of his existence muttered his name in hushed tones, since he was the very definition of a hellish vampire — ruthless and violent.

But the more you learned about him, the more you understood that he wasn’t everything that people described him to be. He was savage for sure, he was also someone who knew his boundaries and had control over himself.

You remembered when you first encountered him. You couldn’t lie, he was everything you have been warned about. But as your encounters became more frequent, you found yourself strangely drawn to him. You wanted to know more about him despite the nagging sense of danger.

And as your relationship blossomed, you discovered a side of Jungkook that few had ever seen — a side that was gentle, compassionate, and fiercely protective.

Your biggest challenge at that time was confronting your parents about your relationship with Jungkook. You both knew that your love was forbidden, and that both sides of the society would never accept your unique relationship.

You, in particular, were worried about your parents' reaction, knowing all too well of the presumptions and hatred that existed against beings like Jungkook.

While it took time for Jungkook’s parents to finally accept you as someone more than just a human they fed on, you knew it was still early to reveal everything to yours. However, the truth could only be kept hidden for so long, as secrets have a way of revealing themselves in the light of day.

It took a lot to muster up courage to tell your parents everything, and Jungkook offered to go with you. Their reaction was exactly what you had expected. Horror contorted their faces, their words laced with disbelief and disgust, unable to comprehend how their daughter could be entangled with such a vile creature.

You remembered how they pulled you away from Jungkook who was sitting down next to you, fear written over their faces as they shielded you from him.

Jungkook could only sit and stare in pain, yet understandably. He knew to be silent, because anything he said would fall in deaf ears. Humans knew better than to trust monsters like him.

But despite their rejection, you remained steadfast in your love for Jungkook, unwilling to abandon the one who had captured your heart. You understood that they were trying to protect you, you couldn’t blame them for that, but at the same time, you knew what you were doing.

If anything was to go wrong, you would be the only one to be blamed.

[𝟶𝟾:𝟷𝟻 𝚙.𝚖.]

It was a chill night, and you found yourself nervously adjusting your dress, your fingers tracing the delicate lace. It was Yunho’s, Jungkook’s best friend's, birthday, and though you weren’t quite sure about going, you knew you had to attend out of courtesy at least.

As you and Jungkook entered the grand mansion where the party was being held, you couldn't help but feel a shiver run down your spine. There were quite a lot more guests than you had expected. The atmosphere was charged with energy, the air thick with the scent of sweat and alcohol.

It made you scrunch your nose up in disgust. The whole aura made you uncomfortable, but not more than the fact that the house was practically filled with vampires and you being the only human.

You just couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place, like a lamb wandering into a den of wolves. You clung onto Jungkook like he was your lifeline, pressing yourself against him like glue.

“It's okay, I won’t let anyone hurt you” he whispered, his voice soothing against your ear.

As the night wore on, your discomfort slowly waned as you engaged with Jungkook’s friends and the other guests. You learned that a lot of them were quite chill and fun to be around despite being bloodthirsty creatures.

You discovered shared interests with them and exchanged playful banter. You even found yourself joining in on a game of charades and chugging down shots with them. But you made sure to not go overboard.

“Babe, I’m going out to smoke with the boys, will you be okay on your own for a few minutes?” your boyfriend walked up to you and asked.

“Mhmm, I’ll be fine” you told him and gave him a warm smile, “shout if you need me” he quickly pecked your lips before walking off with his three friends. You sighed and took a sip of the apple juice.

Just then, Yunho emerged from the crowd. “Hey, Y/n” he greeted, “oh hey Yunho” you greeted back with a smile.

“Could you perhaps go and grab my charger from my room? My phone is about to die and I’m kind of in the middle of a game right now” he asked, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Sure, where’s your room?” you stood up straight, “first floor on the right, and if you keep walking straight you’ll find a black door. That’s my room” he smiled.

“Okay, I’ll get it for you” you said to him and walked off.

As you made your way up the grand staircase, you couldn't help but admire the intricate details of the mansion's architecture. The plush carpeting beneath your feet muffled your steps as you ascended to the upper floor. Each hallway seemed to stretch endlessly, branching off into different wings of the house.

Despite the vibrant atmosphere downstairs, the floor upstairs seemed to be a huge contrast — as if no one was supposed to be here.

You felt a sense of unease crept over you as you glanced down the long, dimly lit hallway leading deeper into the mansion. The vastness of the house and the thought of getting lost intimidated you.

In the end, you finally managed to find Yunho’s room. Twisting the golden doorknob, you creaked the door open, revealing a very spacious and elegantly furnished room.

After a brief search, you found the charger on a bedside table. And as you went and reached for it, a voice startled you from behind.

“Need a hand?” Yunho’s voice broke the silence, causing you to jump slightly in surprise.

“Gosh, you scared me” you sighed in relief, placing your hand on your chest.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Just wondering what was taking you so long” he let out an airy chuckle as he stood with one hand in his pocket.

You chuckled nervously, feeling slightly embarrassed, “it's alright, I guess I just got a little lost in this enormous mansion of yours” you said. Yunho stepped further into the room, his eyes scanning around before they turned back onto you.

“Yeah, it can be a bit overwhelming at first” he muttered, “but don’t worry, you’ll get used to it around here” he said. The tone in his voice dropped into something sinister, and your smile dropped instantly.

Before you could say anything, the door slammed shut on its own with a loud bang, causing you to jump in fright. Your heart began to race, panic coursing through your body as you realised you were trapped in the room.

You rushed towards the door, your hands trembling as you tried to turn the handle, but it wouldn't budge.

“What are you doing?” your voice shook with fear as you turned to face Yunho, only to find him standing there, a smirk playing on his lips.

Your breath hitched when you saw his fangs protruding menacingly and his eyes glowing scarlet red, a disturbing reminder of the gruesome nature of a vampire.

When he began to walk towards you, you began to move yourself across the wall to the other side of the room. “S-Stay away from me” you warned, struggling to steady your breathing.

“Oh darling, you can’t tell me what to do” he growled with his disgusting grin. With each step Yunho took, your fear threatened to consume you whole.

You pressed yourself against the cold stone wall, searching desperately for a way out, but finding none. The room seemed to narrow around you, suffocating you with his evil presence.

“Please, Yunho, stop this” you begged, feeling yourself choke up with panic.

But all your pleas fell into deaf ears as he slammed his hands on the wall next to you, trapping you under his monstrous body. “Jungkook really hit a jackpot with you, huh?” he leaned in close and took a long sniff from the crook of your neck.

“Your blood, it smells fucking sweet” he said and he dragged his tongue along your neck.

With a rush of adrenaline, you gathered all of your courage and lashed out, striking him with every bit of strength you had. You kneed him in the groin and pushed him off you, watching him drop to the floor groaning in pain. You caught a glimpse of surprise on his face before it contorted into a mask of wrath.

“You bitch” he gritted his teeth as he stood back up on his feet.

With a snarl, he lunged at you, grabbing you by the neck and slamming you against the wall. Pain seared through your body as you fought to loosen his iron grip, your muscles straining against his inhumane strength.

“Jungkook sure taught you well to defend yourself, but I’d like to see you defend yourself now” he grinned sinister as he let go of your neck.

Before you could even catch your breath, Yunho picked you up and slung you over his shoulder as he walked over to his bed.

“Let go of me you sick bastard!” you screamed as you hit his back with your fists, but Yunho remained unmoved. In a matter of seconds, he threw you down on the bed and cuffed your wrists with his single iron gripping hand.

“You can scream all you want darling, no one is going to hear you” he smirked as he hovered over you.

Your glossy eyes widened in horror as your breathing became more erratic. “N-No,” you shook your head, trying to push him off. But he was too strong. “GET OFF ME!” you screamed your lungs out.

“JUNGKOOK!”

┄┄┄┄┄

After indulging in a smoke break with his friends in the dim courtyard, Jungkook went back inside to join you again. But he frowned when he couldn’t find you from where you were standing earlier.

“Have you guys seen Y/n?” he asked around.

His question was met with shrugs and indifferent shakes of the head. No one seemed to have noticed your absence amidst the buzz of the party. But then he noticed something else that he found a little odd. Yunho was nowhere to be seen either.

“Hey Baekho, have you Y/n? Or Yunho?” he asked one of Yunho’s close friends who was drinking with the rest. “I don’t know about Y/n. But Yunho said he was going to his room to get something” Baekho shrugged.

Jungkook muttered a small ‘thank you’ before making his way upstairs. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong.

Reaching Yunho’s room, he could hear muffled voices from inside. He tried to open the door but it was locked. “Yunho? Are you in there?” he knocked on the door, but no answer.

Frowning, he attempted to open the door. And miraculously, the door opened on its own, like the lock was being controlled.

When Jungkook opened the door, the sight in front of him made his heart drop.

“Yunho? Y/n?” his voice was barely audible due to shock.

His shoulders dropped as he took a step inside. Unknown to Jungkook, Yunho’s lips curled up in a smirk as he laid on the bed. And straddling him, hair tousled and eyes wide with shock, was you. Quickly wiping the smirk off his lips, Yunho pushed you off and got off the bed.

You, eyes wide with fear and desperation, got up and ran to reach out to Jungkook, your voice trembling as you tried to explain yourself. “Jungkook, l-listen to me” you said as you held his arm.

But Jungkook was quiet as he stared at you, standing there as his mind reeled with a thousand emotions. Before you could go on to say anything else, Yunho cut in.

“Your girlfriend isn't all innocent as she plays Jungkook” he said as he fixed his clothes. “I tried to stop her, and remind her that she has a boyfriend, just she just wouldn’t listen” he tried to explain.

All Jungkook did was stare and listen to what was being said. “You lying bastard!” you screamed, lunging towards the blond haired vampire and grabbing him by the collar.

“We’re going home” Jungkook’s deep murderous voice spoke up, and you froze at the chilling tone that you never heard before.

He grabbed you by the arm and dragged you out of the room, and you briefly turned to Yunho who smirked as he waved his hand at you.

“Jungkook wait! He’s lying! That’s not the truth!” you protested as you tried to keep up with the speed that he was pulling you with. But he said nothing.

When you finally reached downstairs, all eyes were on you. “Stop!” you shouted, stopping in your tracks and harshly pulling your arm out of your boyfriend’s tight hold. Your chest heaved with each ragged breath, your hands trembling as you clutched your dress.

“We’re not leaving until you know the truth!” you said.

“Stop making a scene Y/n” Jungkook gritted his teeth as he stepped towards you. “I’m not Jungkook! Your best friend is a fucking liar! He tried to-”

“I think you had quite a lot to drink Y/n, you should go home and rest” you heard Yunho’s voice cut you off. You saw Yunho making his way downstairs and the guests made way for him to walk through towards you.

“You’re my best friend’s girlfriend Y/n, I would never have any ill intentions about you” he looked at you with a soft gaze, but you knew it was all fake.

“It’s okay, I know you made a mistake, you don’t have to lie” he then said, and you didn’t miss the slight smirk that he gave to you.

At the moment, you felt your body fire up in anger. And then, you raised your hand and smacked him hard across the face. The crowd of guests gasped in shock as Yunho’s head snapped to the side, and Jungkook was quick to pull you back.

“You asshole!” you screamed. Yunho clenched his jaw as he tried to control his anger, and he raised his head back up and smiled at you. “You’re a monster, a sick bastard! You don’t deserve to be Jungkook’s friend, or anywhere near him!” you ranted.

“THAT IS ENOUGH!”

Jungkook’s loud angry voice cut through the air, silencing everyone in the room. You flinched and turned to your boyfriend, swallowing a thick lump as you eyes his furious form.

Without saying another word, he grabbed your arm and pulled you with him. You turned and glared at Yunho for the last, whose smirk never seemed to fade the entire time.

The music faded into the background as you both reached outside. You stumbled along the way, trying to keep up with his swift pace, and your heart raced with anxiety.

“Jungkook please listen to me” you pleaded, but he remained quiet. His jaw clenched tightly as he dragged you towards the car.

┄┄┄┄┄

[𝟷𝟶:𝟶𝟶 𝚙.𝚖.]

The door swung open with a loud thud as Jungkook stumbled through, his eyes clouded with anger. The usually quiet and snug atmosphere shifted abruptly as he dragged you inside by the arm with a force that made you whimper in pain.

Your cries echoed through the large hallway, a desperate plea for him to release you from his iron grip. Tears streamed down your cheeks, mixing with the traces of blood from where his fingers dug into your delicate skin.

“Please, Jungkook, you're hurting me” you sobbed, your voice barely audible amidst the chaos of your entry. But Jungkook’s grip only tightened, his face contorted with rage as he pulled you further into the house.

Finally when you both reached the living room, he released you with a harsh shove, sending you sprawling to the floor. You curled up into a ball, clutching your injured arm as tears continued to stream down your face like waterfall.

For a moment, there was silence as you looked up at him in disbelief and fear. The only sound heard was his ragged breathing and your choked cries as he glared down at you.

This wasn’t him.

This wasn’t the man who promised you his love and protection.

Pushing yourself up, you steadied your trembling limbs. You then began taking cautious steps towards him as you reached your hand out for him.

“P-Please, hear me out, please baby” you pleaded with your shaky voice. But Jungkook was quick to push your hand away, his expression hardening as his fists clenched at his sides.

“What is there to hear about Y/n? I saw it, you were fucking all over him!” he yelled.

You violently shook your head in denial and grabbed his hands in your shaking ones, “n-no, it’s not what it looks like! Please, you have to believe me” you panicked.

“H-He asked me if I could fetch his phone c-charger from his room a-and I went to get it. T-Then he just came in out of n-nowhere a-and locked the door, a-and he-” you frantically blabbered, but Jungkook’s loud voice stopped you midway.

“STOP!” he screamed, causing you to flinch and cower in fear. “Don’t you even try to make up excuses.” he gritted his teeth as he took a step forward.

“Seriously Y/n? My best friend? You chose to fuck with my best friend?” he questioned as he took another step closer. Each step he took towards you, you took a step back, until you found yourself being trapped in between his intimidating presence and the brick wall behind you.

“It’s not like that Jungkook, he’s lying. Please listen to me, it’s all a misunderstanding” you cried, your eyes begging him to believe you. You let out a sharp gasp when he slammed his hand on the wall next to you.

“Shut up! Just shut up!” he yelled in your face. “Yunho and I’ve been best friends for years, way back before you or your grandparents were born. I know for a fact that he’s not what you’re trying to paint him as, so just fucking stop, okay?!” he said.

Your heart dropped, but then it started to race as you began to realise that the man you loved may be slipping away from you over a grave misunderstanding. Your shoulders dropped in defeat and all you could do was stare at him with your tearful eyes.

He wasn’t believing you.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” you asked, your voice barely above whisper.

Instead of answering, he leaned in closer to you, your noses almost touching, as his nose flared in anger. A choked sob escaped from you, “what do you think of me as Jungkook?” you questioned.

“Do you think I’m some kind of slut? Is that what you really think of me?” you silently cried.

“You know me better than anyone. You know what I love and what I hate. You know my fears. But most importantly, you know that I love you, and only you” you said. “I can’t believe you would question my loyalty” your words came out as a whisper.

You were angry. Hurt. Frustrated.

The man who was supposed to take your side was now against you, blinded by what he only saw on the surface and not the depth of the truth.

Not wanting to deal with him any longer, you pushed him off you and tried to walk away. But Jungkook quickly caught you by the arm and pulled you back, slamming you against the wall. You whined in pain as your back came in contact with the hard brick wall.

“Where do you think you’re going? We aren’t done talking yet” he snapped, and you felt his fingers digging in your shoulders. “We’ll talk when you’re in your fucking senses” you snapped back, glaring at him with your red and glossy eyes.

“Now let me go” you tried to remove yourself from his tight grip, but he was too strong. The struggle to break free from his hold would soon come to a stop when you heard a low inhuman growl. When you looked up at Jungkook, you saw something that made your blood run cold.

His once gentle gaze now glowed with a sinister crimson hue, and you watched in horror as his fangs elongated before your very eyes.

“J-Jungkook?” you stuttered in fear. A guttural growl escaped his lips, sending shivers down your spine as you realised. He wasn't just angry — he was something else entirely.

“You’re mine, and only fucking mine. Got it?” he growled. Your heart hammered in your chest, your breaths coming in short, panicked gasps as you struggled to free yourself from his grasp. “S-Stop Jungkook, you’re s-scaring me” you tried to tell him.

But he was far from reality.

A terrified squeal escaped your mouth when he grabbed your face and pulled it close to his. “Jungkook,” you whispered, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your own heart. “Please stop, you’re scaring me baby” you choked on your sob.

But there was no humanity left in his gaze, no trace of the man you loved. Only a possessive rage that made your stomach churn with dread. This wasn’t your boyfriend. This was a creature of the night. A monster that everyone feared.

A vampire.

Your breathing was erratic. You struggled to breathe as the world spun around you. You clutched at your chest, your heart racing uncontrollably. And when it couldn’t withstand the weight of fear and distress, you felt yourself slipping. And before you knew it, your vision soon faded into darkness.

The last thing you remembered was your body dropping down, but a pair of strong arms caught you just before impact.

As Jungkook caught your limp form, his mind snapped back to reality. He blinked and shook his head as the haze of his vampire instincts faded away. Slowly, his eyes travelled down to your unconscious body, and his heart dropped like a stone in his chest.

“No…no no no” he panicked.

He cradled you close, his hands trembling as he brushed the strands of hair from your pale and tear stained face. “Y-Y/n?” he shook you, “baby wake up, I-I’m sorry” his voice cracked with desperation.

But you remained unresponsive. Your breathing was slow and faint, and your body was cold. “Fuck! What have I done?” a frustrated cry escaped from him. Regret was consuming him whole. But at the same time, anger boiled within him, directed not at you, but at himself for losing control. He didn’t mean to, but he was a monster after all.

His eyes stung with tears as he quickly picked you up in his arms and rushed you up to your shared bedroom. He kicked the door open and walked towards the bed. Gently placing you down, he fished out his phone from his back pocket. With shaking hands, he dialed his private doctor. After a few rings, the doctor picked up. Jungkook hurriedly expressed his urgency.

Ending the call, he chucked his phone on the nightstand. As he awaited help, Jungkook sat down next to your still form and tenderly held your hand, feeling his heart heavy with guilt. “I’m so sorry baby, I don’t know what got into me” he sniffled as his thumb gently caressed over your cold hand.

He knew he fucked up. He knew things weren’t going to be easy when you woke up, and he feared it would change your relationship forever.

Perhaps your parents were right, he really wasn’t any different to the other vampires. All of them were blood sucking creatures, and that perhaps that was their only purpose. Maybe he really wasn’t capable of loving anyone, let alone a human.

┄┄┄┄┄

[𝟷𝟷:𝟹𝟻 𝚙.𝚖.]

Jungkook paced anxiously around the room as the doctor checked up on you. And after what felt like an eternity, the doctor finally straightened up and met his gaze with a reassuring smile.

“She's fine, Jungkook. It seems like she fainted because of shock and stress” he explained with a calm and steady voice. Jungkook’s shoulders sagged as he let out a shaky breath of relief.

“She just needs to rest for a while. I’ll give her a vitamin injection and it should help her gain some energy when she wakes up” he then explained. Jungkook nodded and let the man do his job.

The doctor, Dr. Kim, checked your vitals once again using his stethoscope and blood pressure monitor. Once he was done, he removed the stethoscope and covered you with a blanket before turning to face Jungkook.

“Nothing to worry about now, she’s going to be alright. She should be awake in the morning” he said to him. “Thank you Dr. Kim” Jungkook thanked as his tired eyes stared at him, his voice filled with gratitude.

“No problem, if anything else happens, do call me” he said, and Jungkook hummed. Having said that, he helped him back to his car.

┄┄┄┄┄

[𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢 — 𝟶𝟾:𝟻𝟶 𝚊.𝚖.]

As the sunlight crept through the curtains, you began to stir from your slumber. With a soft groan, you slowly sat yourself up, your eyes squeezed shut against the throbbing headache. Your hands gently massaged your temples to soothe the pain, taking slow deep breaths.

As the dull ache subsided, you opened your eyes expecting Jungkooking to be sleeping next to you, but he wasn’t there. The side of his bed was neat and empty, like he hadn’t slept there at all.

The events of last night flooded back to you like a tsunami, and you couldn’t help but shiver. Your mind raced with many thoughts which were all over the place, but nothing more than dread and heartache. You weren’t ready to face him at all. You were simply scared to.

Removing the blanket, you got up from the, and you almost lost your balance which caused you to stumble. Your legs still shook even after everything yesterday, but you managed to push yourself to stand firm. You never thought you would have to be cautious in the very house you felt safe and protected. It felt as if you were living the way you have lived before you met Jungkook.

You looked around the room and gulped, nervous to move a muscle. You were scared he was going to jump in front of you with his menacing form and glowing red eyes.

But you felt icky and disgusted from Yunho’s touch, and you wanted to wash off every mark and scent of him from your body. Inhaling a breath, you took your first step, and you walked towards your wardrobe to grab clean pair clothes. You then proceeded to make your way into the bathroom.

After the shower, you changed into your blue jeans and plain white shirt. You stood in the middle of the room as you looked around with a heavy heart. The room, once filled with laughter and love, now felt cold and unfamiliar to you.

Shutting your eyes for a brief moment, you let out a shaky breath and controlled yourself from breaking down. You had one thought in your chaotic mind, and it was that you needed to get out of here. You opened your eyes and went to grab a large suitcase and a duffel bag. You then began grabbing all your clothes from the wardrobe and stuffing them into the suitcase.

Each item you carefully folded and placed into the suitcase held memories of yours and Jungkook’s time together: the pale yellow sundress which you wore on your first date, the denim jacket which you wore when you had your first kiss, the polka dot pyjamas you wore when you both had your first argument, and the red silk dress you wore the night he made love to you for the first time.

Your movements were slow and deliberate, your heart growing heavier as the wardrobe became emptier. Tears welled up in your eyes as you zipped up the suitcase and the duffel bag, and your hands dropped to your sides as you stepped back a little.

You looked around the room one last time, not missing a single corner. You looked at the photo frame on the wall above the bed, it was the two of you smiling together, taken on a sunny day in the park. You could help but feel a pang of sadness in your chest.

You could feel the muscles in your chest tighten in despair at the thought of how all this was ending. How had it all come to this? But you knew you couldn’t stay here anymore. Despite your love for Jungkook, you couldn't shake the fear that was bubbling inside you.

Maybe what happened yesterday was a wake up call, that no matter how much he loved and cared about you, the shadow of the monster that he was would always be part of him. But most importantly, you couldn’t ignore the betrayal you felt and the lack of trust he had in you.

Sniffling and wiping away your tears, you grabbed your things and turned around to leave. But the sight of Jungkook standing by the door made you gasp in fear and drop everything you hand in your hands. “Y/n?” his voice was calm and low, something that would’ve usually soothed you, but not now.

Jungkook looked at you and your packed belongings before his eyes turned to you. “You’re…leaving?” he asked with a hurt voice. But you stayed quiet as your breathing started to quicken.

Jungkook knew you were still shaken so he tried to be careful and calm with his approach. “Can we talk? Please baby” he pleaded as he took a step forward, only for you to take two steps back instinctively. “N-No, stay a-away” your voice shook. Jungkook’s heart sank at the rejection, but nothing more than the fear that was written all over your face.

You were scared of him.

He felt a lump form in his throat and tears prickle in his eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you” his voice cracked. He knew you would be scared, he just didn’t know how bad it was until he took another step forward with his hand reaching out to you.

You screamed as you backed away and fell to the ground. And you pulled your knees to your chest while your hands clamped to your ears. “P-Please, d-don’t come near m-me” you fearfully said. “Y/n-”

“I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me” you cried, cutting him off.

And in that moment, Jungkook felt his whole world fall apart. His eyes widened slightly and his breath hitch, and his knees grew weak before he dropped down to the floor. The silence was loud and deafening, only your muffled sobs and ragged breathing could be heard.

Who would’ve thought that a bloodthirsty monster like him would cry over a mortal human whom he scarred and traumatised for life? “B-Baby, I’m not going to hurt you” he choked on his cry as tears streamed down his face, “please don’t be scared of me”.

But his words seemed to fall on deaf ears as you continued to cry, your fear too overwhelming to be soothed by mere words.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry” he slowly crawled towards you, but you immediately pushed yourself back. Jungkook’s heart only sank deeper and deeper. His usual pale face was flushed as he desperately tried to comfort you, and somewhat himself.

But he knew he was losing you, and the reality of it all scared him. Jungkook knew that whatever that he tried to do, it wasn’t going to work. You were beyond his reach now.

“But you did Jungkook” you finally spoke up as you raised your head, “you did hurt me” you said.

You looked at his crying form as his eyes made desperate pleas towards you. “You hurt me when you didn’t believe me, you hurt me with your words, and you hurt me the way you manhandled me like I was some ragged doll” you snapped at him.

“If I stayed conscious any longer, what were the chances that you weren’t going to hurt me?” you lashed out, questioning him. Jungkook remained silent as he questioned himself.

Was he really going to hurt you?

“I wasn’t thinking straight, I really wasn’t. I’m so sorry” he croaked.

“No amount of sorry is going to fix this Jungkook. The damage is done” you shook your head. “I was begging you to listen to me, to believe me, but you didn’t. You just let your jealousy and insecurities get the best of you” you continued.

“I don’t care how long you’ve known Yunho for and how good of a friend he is to you, but he’s a sick bastard who tried to take advantage of me. And just when I tried to fight back and you walked in, he took it as a perfect opportunity to paint me as a cheater, and you believed him” you said.

“I’m sorry” he kept mumbling as he silently cried. “You know how scared I am of vampires already, did you really think I would ever cheat on you with one?” you asked. You took off your leather jacket and rolled your sleeves up to your shoulders.

“If I had really cheated on you, I wouldn’t have these on my arms” you said as you pointed at the dark spots of bruises on both of your arms, most importantly the hand print around your neck.

Jungkook’s cries came to a halt when his eyes landed on all the marks on your arms and neck. He stopped breathing for a second and his defeated eyes suddenly grew dark and enraged.

“The worst part is, I don’t even know who caused which ones, Yunho or you” you said, your voice sounding tired. Jungkook’s heart sank at your words, and it was the realisation that he and Yunho were no different which haunted him. Yunho hurt you, but so did he.

Jungkook quickly crawled closer to you and you let him. His cold and shaky hands reached to cup your face and lift your head up a little. You flinched at his touch and your body stiffened, but you let him. His watery eyes scanned the bruise around your neck, specifically the hand print, and you could see the fury bubbling inside his eyes and the way his body violently shook.

“H-He-”

“yes Jungkook, he, your fucking best friend” you interrupted. “And there’s no point going up to him now, because it’s too late. What’s done is done. He won’t regret a thing even if you beat the crap out of him” you told him.

Jungkook hated that you were right. He knew Yunho seeked pleasure in destroying things and hurting others. He just wished he had realised it sooner when he tried to hurt you.

“I’m not going to beat the crap out of him” Jungkook shook his head, “I’m going fucking kill him” he said.

You couldn’t help but chuckle in mockery, “too late don’t you think?” you looked at him. “I don’t care what you do with him Jungkook, just please,” your eyes softened, “just please leave me out of this mess, and let me go” you begged.

“I’m scared, okay? After what you pulled yesterday, it made me realise that you’re no different to the rest of the vampires. And as much as it hurts to let you go, I know it’s the best for me and to keep myself and my family safe. I hope you can at least respect my decision and leave me alone after this” you softly cried.

Jungkook’s shoulders dropped and his heart shattered into pieces. He knew this was coming, but he didn’t prepare to deal with the pain it came with.

“And you know what I’ve been thinking of lately before all this happened?” you then began, and all Jungkook could do was sit and listen.

“I’m a human who is bound to die when my time comes. I will grow old while you stay young and live for many more years to come. How was our relationship going to work? When I die, would you live on to find your next lover and forget about me? Could there be a way for me to live with you forever?” you spoke.

Jungkook was thrown back at your words, but coming to think about it, his heart dropped. “You know I would search for a lifetime to find a way for us to be together forever” he said, and you chuckled. “But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore. Not when you doubted my loyalty” you told him.

You grabbed your jacket and wore it before standing up. Your legs shook and you were about to fall, but Jungkook quickly caught you. But you flinched and pushed him away. Jungkook felt his chest tighten and he clenched his fists as he retracted his hands.

He knew your decision was final and that he had to let you go. There was nothing he could do but blame himself for what he had caused. “I’m sorry princess, I really am. I never meant to hurt you like this” his lips quivered the spoke, “and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you” he cried. 

Your heart ached watching him cry. Vampires weren’t emotionally sensitive and known for having thick skin. But with Jungkook, you knew he was truly regretting. You could see how defeated and desperate he was at the same time. He lost you, and he was scared of what his life would be without you.

“It really didn’t have to end this way Jungkook. I love you, but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me, let alone someone who would kill the woman he loves over his own insecurities” you responded. Jungkook shut his eyes as he cried, gripping a fistful of his hair.

“I’m sorry” he kept repeating like a chant, as if he wished it would magically fix everything. “Yeah, me too” you said. You stared at him for the last time before grabbing your things and leaving.

That was the last time you had seen Jungkook, and it tore you to pieces having to leave a man who you thought was the one. But turns out your parents were right all along — he was just like the rest of the night hunters.

You didn’t know how to face your parents after this, but you knew that as long as you were safe, it was all that mattered to them. When you moved back with your parents, they welcomed you like a lost child finally being returned home.

They felt bad about what happened between you and Jungkook, but a big part of them were relieved that you were no longer associated with a creature like him. It was hard adjusting to your new routine without Jungkook, and you had a few mental breakdowns every now and then thinking about him.

You missed him so bad no matter how much you hated him. He was your first love, and getting over your first love is never easy.

But there has always been a nagging feeling inside of you that no matter how much you both loved each other, the two of you were just not meant to be. While you grow old and rot away after death, Jungkook will continue with his life for a hundred more years. And you couldn’t help but think of the possibility of him finding a new lover.

The thought of it all made you want to dig up a hole and bury yourself in it.

But at one point, you knew you had to learn to move on and not let the pain drag you forever. You took it as a lesson to not trust anyone and always look out for yourself and the people you cared about. You hoped that Jungkook would keep your words and not meddle with you and your life again.

Days blended into nights as Jungkook roamed the darkness. His immortal existence stretched before him, a seemingly endless expanse of emptiness. He never felt so lost and alone in his entire lifetime.

He didn’t know what his purpose was anymore without you, and the pain of the heartbreak will forever haunt him. He couldn’t keep the promise he made to his mother, to never hurt the person he loved, yet here he was.

But Jungkook kept his promise when he said he would never hunt down a human. Instead, he spent his nights hunting for the blood of animals in the nearby forest. Despite his forced isolation, Jungkook couldn't bring himself to cut all ties with you. From a distance, he would watch over you like a silent guardian in the shadows.

He remembered your words and promised to not let a single vampire go near you and your family. But he still longed for your touch, yet he knew that his very presence could only bring you harm.

But Jungkook had more pressing matters to attend to than his broken heart.

Yunho was still around doing what he usually did, like he didn’t do anything wrong. So there he stood, in front of his best friend’s house, with a wooden stake tightly gripped in his hand. His jaw was tightly clenched and his gaze hardened as he huffed out a breath before kicking the door open.

Despite his immortal nature, Jungkook had never felt more human than in that moment, consumed by the agony of lost love and the burning desire for revenge.

There, in the dimly lit living room, sat Yunho who had a smirk playing on lips. “Oh? Jungkook?” Yunho slightly tilted his head, acting clueless.

But Jungkook didn’t say a word, because he knew Yunho was well aware why he was here. With a gaze as cold as death itself, he advanced towards him, the stake glinting ominously in the moonlight.

There was no need for explanations, no room for apologies. Only justice, swift and merciless, could mend the shattered fragments of his wounded heart and joy.

𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗘𝗗

@𝗷𝗸𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰

©️

(insta: jeonjkfiles)

pairings. jungkook x reader (f)

genres/aus. comfort, established relationship

warnings. descriptions of anxiety

notes. another self indulgent writing with jk on my mind <3

masterlist

—

oh god. why do you do this to yourself? and always at this time at night, always when you have to piss too.

it’s late, around 1:30 in the morning and your boyfriend is sound asleep peacefully snoring into his pillow. you’ve grown accustomed to his sleeping habits and it’s now become something you miss on those months he’s gone for work.

he fell asleep easily, as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out fast. muttering an ‘i love you’ half asleep before slumber took over.

you’ve been scrolling on your phone switching from different apps back to tiktok. until one specific tiktok appeared on your for you page, one that piqued your interest with the eerie sound. a lady was explaining a nightmare she had and how she saw a creepy, shadow face with picture evidence. and now you can’t unsee it and you paused the video because the sound was becoming overwhelming and suddenly you feel like it was in the room with you.

you remember how you had to pee and that urge comes back but no way are you walking that three feet in the dark.

you scroll past the video and it’s one showing an otter swimming in a pool. yes, much better.

but that haunting image keeps flashing behind your eyes, so you exit out the app and go back to youtube. trying to find one of your comfort videos you always go back to rewatch. you take a peek over your phone to see the faint outline of jungkook on his side, mouth slightly open. oh how i wish that could be me right now.

anxious thoughts hit you again and you wonder if you turn over, would that face be there?

you’ve always been like this since you were little. afraid of the dark and gets easily scared. suddenly you wish you kept that ocean nightlight you had since you were five, but your mom gave it away to your cousins.

there’s only one thing you could think of.

“kook, kook..” you gently shake his shoulder to wake him. it takes a few more tries before he’s awake. your phone automatically turns off from the screen not being touched. leaving your room pitch black.

he breathes out, “what’s wrong? you okay?” you open your phone, illuminating the room a bit.

you bite your lip. “can you walk with me to the bathroom? i’m scared..” do you sound like a child right now?

jungkook, without questions, kicks the blanket off and crawls out of bed to walk around to your side of the bed.

“come on.” he mutters, he holds out his hand for you to grab as you get out of bed. you’re clinging to his side as you take those few steps to the bathroom in your room.

when he turns the light on, you both hiss at the brightness. your appearances in the mirror looks like you’ve been in bed for a bit. but jungkook doesn’t look bothered at all, a small smile that says a million things to you eases your worries.

he leans against the counter with his arms crossed as you do your business before washing your hands.

while you’re in front of the sink, he comes up behind you to circle his arms around your waist. “wake me up always if you need anything, i don’t mind. and if i don’t wake up for the first couple times, i allow you to smack me with a pillow.”

you chuckle. “okay.”

“okay.”

he walks you back to your side of the bed and tucks you in, crawling over you to get on his side. blindly reaching for your hand under your pillow, giving it a squeeze. “put your youtube video on baby.”

you nod, even though he can’t see. then you hear his soft snores again. you lean in to place a kiss on of his forehead before doing as he says.

---

“you drew stars around my scars”

pairing: experimented on! jungkook x experimented on! reader

powers au!, childhood besties au!, patients au!

genre: angst, fluff, sfw

wc: 5.9k

synopsis: meeting jungkook was like gazing up at the brightest star in the sky as you lay helpless on the cold ground in the dark night. you both found comfort in one another. you healed each other as you suffered through painful experiments together. the pain was bearable, with him by your side. whenever he was around, your smiles were brighter, your shoulders were lighter, and all your worries just seemed to disappear in an instant. good things don’t last though. you learned that the hard way.

OR

jungkook and y/n meet in the hospital both trying to be cured of their ‘disease’ (they have powers :O) and form memories along the way <3

tw: experiments on human (not detailed though), scars, gun

*inspired by ‘cardigan’ by taylor swift: “you drew stars around my scars” pls listen to it while u read this 🥹🥹(A/N: GONNA BE FIGHTING HARD FOR TICKETS TO ERAS TOUR THIS WEEK SO I WROTE THIS HOPING TO MANIFEST SOME TICKETS😭🙏🙏)

——

13 june, 2005

You monitored the pale, white room around you. White bed. White cupboard. White walls. You sighed in frustration. Your rainbow obsessed 7 year old brain screamed at you to add some colour to the walls. Note to self: Bring crayons to colour walls next time.

“Please…I will take care of her… don’t do this…”

Hearing the small familiar voice of your mother, your eyes lit up, and you climbed onto your white bed, propping your elbows onto the tiny window frame in the small room, peeking your small head out as you stared curiously into the other room. Your mother talking to a man in a white coat. They were having a serious conversation, and your mother seemed like she was about to cry. Why is mommy crying? Is she hurt? You thought to yourself, immediately jumping off the bed and running to the room next door to find your mother and comfort her.

The moment you entered the room your mother was in, you noticed she instantly wiped her tears away, trying to hide her tears from you.

“Hey sweetie, you like the room?” She plastered a smile on her face as she looked endearingly at you.

“It was alright. It could have more colour though. Next time I should bring my crayons and draw Bibi on it!” You let out a huge smile at the thought of Bibi, showing off your missing front tooth. Bibi was your imaginary friend. Picture a golden retriever, but covered in rainbows. Making friends were not exactly your specialty. For some reason, everyone called you a freak and did not want to talk to you, all because you were able to move things with your mind. And so you found comfort in your imaginary friend Bibi instead. He was the only one who understood you.

“Hey sweetheart, you’ll be staying here for a while, ok? It’s to make you better. Don’t worry, mommy will come back to visit when I can.” You could tell your mother was holding back her tears. It was the same face she made when daddy screamed at her and left us, or when she received a call that grandma died.

“W-why can’t mommy stay with me?” You felt tears brimming at your eyes as a sinking feeling appeared in your heart. You could feel that something bad was happening.

“Y/n, you are a danger to your mother. You need to stay here to get better-“ The doctor in the coat was cut off as I screamed out loud.

“NO! I WANT MY MOMMY! IM NOT GOING TO STAY HERE!” Your tears were overwhelming you as more people stomped into the room, grabbing your mother’s arms as she tried to grab you into her embrace. She had released her tears by now, sobbing uncontrollably. The people who stomped into the room grabbed her arms harshly, dragging her away from me and out of the door.

You felt your arms being pulled back by the doctor as you tried reaching out for your mother. You let out a frustrated scream, as your emotions ran rampage. The room around you started to shake and you unintentionally slammed everyone in the room against the hard wall — including your mother. Everyone except you fell hard to the ground as they hit the wall, all groaning in pain. You looked at your mother apologetically, then looked at your own hands in disgust. What have I done?

Your mother looks at you with one last glance, glossy eyes as she mouths to you ‘It’s ok, i love you’ The security people, as if unphased from the hit, immediately got up, containing their job as they dragged your mother forcefully out of the room. You didn’t dare to stop them. Not after what you did. You knew you were a monster.

“Do you see now, y/n? You’re a danger to everyone. If you want to be fixed, you will do the wise choice of cooperating with us so you can see your mother again.” The doctor got up slowly, looking at you with a cunning smile.

You gulped. You were scared. So, so scared and lonely. But you knew you had to do this. You had to get better. You had to make your mom proud. So you bravely nodded, agreeing to stay at the facility to get help.

—

2006

You never saw your mother again after that incident. You were unsure if she chose not to see you again because she thought you were a monster or if she was not allowed to visit you, but you sure hoped it was the latter.

You grew accustomed to the lifestyle. Everyday, your morning would be filled with ‘recreational activities’ like playing chess, but having to move the pieces with your mind, or doing basic commands with your powers that the doctors made you do. Afternoons were the worst. They would strap you into the terrifying pink chair in the ‘rainbow room’ and conduct experiments on your brain. For a room called ‘rainbow room’, it was certainly not full of rainbows. You would have to sit through hours of excruciating pain as the voices in your head overwhelmed you. There were so many needles, blood. But there was nothing you could do. None of the doctors cared for you. You had no one.

As time passed, you started getting used to the lifestyle. The food wasn’t bad, you had a chef that would make what you wanted, and servants that would get you what want. The only issue was the loneliness. You realised you were the only patient at the facility. Nobody ever talked to you. The guards, doctors and servants were not allowed to form a relationship with you. You had no one to talk to — except Bibi. But you knew Bibi wasn’t real. You weren’t a kid anymore - you had matured quickly from having to face the bitter reality. Bibi was merely your coping mechanism from the horrors of your daily life.

That was until he came along.

On 13 June, 2006, Jeon Jungkook, a 9 year old boy, was admitted into your facility exactly a year after your admittance. You were excited when you heard the news. You would finally have someone to talk to, someone to share your pain and to hang out with — a friend. Sadly, you did not hit it off as well as you expected it to. Jungkook was a shy, frightened boy, slightly shorter than you, eyes red and puffy probably from the amount of times he cried after being separated from his family. You felt for him. You were in the exact same situation as him a year ago, and you understood that he needed some private time to heal himself. He was definitely not in the mood for making friends. So you kept your distance for a while, not wanting to seem too desperate.

Until the night of his first experience in the ‘rainbow room’. You laid on your bed, reading the same book for the thousandth time as you sighed in boredom. Until you heard a sniffle in the hallway.

Curious, you stepped out of your room, not shocked to see Jungkook crouching into a little ball in the hallway outside his room, crying quietly. You could see the deep scars left on his left arm, the same ones you get daily from the experiments. You crouch down beside him softly, hesitantly patting his back as you tried to comfort him wordlessly. At first, he looked tense and uncomfortable at your touch, but he slowly eased into it as he saw the same scars on your arms. You inched closer to him, giving him a warm embrace as you cried together with him.

After that night, the two of you became closer. He realised that you were just like him. That he was not alone in his painful journey. And so started your friendship with Jungkook.

You soon realised Jungkook was more than a shy, frightened boy. He could be playful and kind at times, and he quickly became your close friend — more like only friend.

He painted your bleak childhood colourful with memories and fun moments. The two of you would make inside jokes about the staff there, laughing at how they always wore the same clothes and probably didn’t wash them, and joke over stupid things like whose powers were stronger or who was taller.

Yet despite all the jokes, the two of you placed deep trust in one another, comforting each other when the experiments got too harsh and painful, convincing each other that it would end some day. Mornings and afternoons of playfulness and fun ended in late nights of cuddling and crying together. This lifestyle became a norm for the two of you. But still it was tolerable, because you had each other.

—

2010

“Y/n, look what I found!” Jungkook ran into your room with a big, smug toothy grin on his face, hiding something behind his back.

“Did you finally find out where your room actually is? Because I’m starting to think you don’t know that since you’re always in my room.” You rolled your eyes playfully as you pretended not to be interested in what he actually brought.

His smile faltered for a second, processing your words, before he faked an angry frown, and pounced onto your bed that you were laying on, tickling you as revenge.

“Ok stop,” you giggled, “I was just kidding, tell me what you brought.” He finally stopped tickling you, pulling something from under his shirt behind his back, as he excitedly presented it to you.

You jaw dropped in shock as you immediately snatched it from his hand, staring at it in disbelief.

“That’s right! A full set of rainbow coloured crayons just for you!” Jungkook beamed with pride.

It was only the previous night that you admitted your obsession with rainbows to him, telling him stories about Bibi, and sharing about how you wished you could colour your room walls. You’ve been begging the workers for some sort of colour since you’ve arrived, but they never met your requests, saying that it was too “childish”. You couldn’t help but wonder how Jungkook managed to get it.

“I bet Bibi could have never gotten this for you, it just proved I’m a much better friend than him!”

You laughed at Jungkook’s statement. After telling him about Bibi, he had been so jealous that you had another friend other than him, even though you repeatedly told him numerous times that Bibi was an imaginary friend. However, you didn’t admit that you hadn’t talked to Bibi in a long time since you’d made friends with Jungkook. That would make his pride swell too much.

“How did you get it? The workers never ever let me get anything like this!” You were still in disbelief.

“Well, doctor choi has been wanting to do the new form of experiment on me since a few weeks back, and he said he would reward me with anything I wanted if I did it! So since I’m the bravest and coolest person ever, I did it today!” Jungkook said with a smug smile.

You frowned when you heard what he said. For the past few weeks, Jungkook had opposed greatly to doing the new format of experiments, since it was on a much larger scale than the previous experiments we had done. Our previous experiments usually ended in scars on our arms, but this new experiment was performed on the whole body. Jungkook had protested against it, because he was too afraid of needles. He had always been less receptive to pain than you. But why did he suddenly agree to do it today?

You looked down on Jungkook’s body, noticing new scars that were on his legs. He quickly tried covering them, saying, “It’s no big deal! It wasn’t even painful!”

You knew it had to be painful. The size of the scarring were just much larger than the usual. You pouted in guilt, hugging Jungkook tightly, “You didn’t have to do that! I bet it hurt so bad!”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to do something for you after all you’ve done for me…” He looked at you, face blushing slightly from your close proximity.

That night, the two of you didn’t sleep, colouring the plain walls with the crayons until dawn broke.

“Pfff. What is that supposed to be?” Jungkook muffled his laughter when he turned to see what you were drawing.

Frowning, you exclaimed, “It’s the galaxy! These are all the planets and all my beautiful stars!”

“Those are supposed to be stars?! They’re so ugly!” Jungkook joked with you.

You threw one of the crayons in his face, ignoring his comments. You didn’t care how ugly your drawing was, you loved seeing the sky and stars shining. Especially the stars. Stars were your favourite thing. Before you came here, you and your mother went stargazing every week, staring into the beautiful sky. Even though you probably would never be able to see them again since you weren’t allowed out of the building, you still held on to the hope that maybe one day you could have that chance again.

You stared at your galaxy for a while before turning over to Jungkook’s side to see what he was drawing.

You were shocked to realise that he was a much better artist than you. You inched closer to his side, smiling when you realised what he drew. A portrait of you and him together, on a lush green field, staring up into a sky full of stars. Although you never told him directly about your love for stars, you realised he must have guessed it from all the times you talked about them and tried drawing them. Your felt your heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of Jungkook being so attentive to your likes.

Your eyes trailed down to below the beautiful drawing to see a small writing below.

‘Y/n and Jungkook together forever!’

—

2015

As the years ticked by quickly, Jungkook started growing from a boy into a man. Once he hit puberty, he shot up like a tree and grew muscles. His featured became more defined and he grew out of his baby fat. You noticed that as Jungkook turned into a teenager, he had also turned more rebellious towards the workers, always unwilling to follow through their instructions and ending up getting punished. Yet he still stayed kind and sweet towards you, acting like the same 10 year old boy when he’s around you.

“One more time and we will not tolerate this anymore! You got it?”

Hearing the faint voice of doctor choi, you quietly get up from your bed and run to your door, peeking out softly, looking in the hallway.

Doctor Choi stood outside of Jungkook’s room in anger, scolding him. You could barely see Jungkook from your angle, only seeing half of his body.

“Ya, ya whatever. I won’t do it again.” Jungkook rolled his eyes and then slammed the door in Doctor Choi’s face, resulting in Doctor Choi stomping away in anger.

When you were sure Doctor Choi was out of sight, you quietly tip toed to Jungkook’s room, knocking on his door impatiently.

“What more do you want? I-“ Jungkook opened the door, annoyed.

When he saw you, he paused and his eyes softened.

“What did you do again? I was so worried when I couldn’t find you this morning! You have to start being more careful! These people have power over our entire lives! You can’t just act recklessly like this!” You immediately pushed past him and entered his room, sitting on his bed, as you looked at him angrily.

He carried a childishly guilty look, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“I didn’t do anything bad! I just kind of sneaked out…”

“What!?? You tried sneaking out again?? Are you crazy? You could get into serious trouble-“

“I didn’t try, I did sneak out. I succeeded.” He said with a smug smirk on his face.

You paused your words in shock.

“Wait what? You sneaked out? Whats outside? Did you see the sky? How did you sneak out?” You bombarded him with questions.

He chickled slightly, sitting beside you in the bed.

“Chill, it’s mostly just greenery. But I found a really nice spot. I’ll take you there tonight.” He smiled gently at you.

You don’t know why you agreed with Jungkook’s ridiculous rebellious plan, but the thought of even a chance of being able to see the night sky again was just too tempting.

So now you and Jungkook were currently hiding in the vents, waiting for the right time to sneak out when nobody was looking. You sat rolled up in a circle beside Jungkook who looked noticeably more uncomfortable than you due to his size. The two of you were inches away from each other and you could feel your face heating up at the close proximity.

“This is really uncomfortable.” You muttered in the awkwardness.

He chuckled stating that it would be worth it.

Sure enough, he was right, as he usually was. When the workers were not looking, he quickly dragged you out of the vent as the two of you ran as quickly and quietly as you could to the spot he was talking about.

“Don’t open your eyes!” Jungkook placed his large hands over your eyes excitedly as he led you quietly to the spot.

You followed him blindly, placing your trust in him.

“OK! Open your eyes now!” You could hear the smile in his voice, excitedly opening your eyes.

When you peeled your eyes open, you stayed silent, in awe at the view you saw. The sky was pitch black, but the bright stars around twinkled in the dark. You felt like crying. You’ve been longing for this view for years. And now that you could see it in real life you didn’t know how to feel.

“I-It’s not the best view but I thought you would like it.” Jungkook said with a shy smile.

“It’s beautiful, Jungkook! I love it so much.” You were on the verge of tears, throwing yourself onto him as you embraced him tightly in gratitude.

You could feel him sigh in relief, hugging you back just as tightly.

“I’m glad you love it.”

The two of you sat on the field in silence, staring at the sky in awe. From your peripheral view, you noticed that Jungkook was looking at you the whole time.

“You should take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You joked with him as you turned to him momentarily.

“I really wish I could.” He replied.

You kept quietly, not expecting that response. The two of you stayed quiet for a while before you broke the silence.

“My mom used to bring me out to star gaze every week… I miss her so much.”

Jungkook looked at you in slight shock, not knowing how to reply. Though the two of you shared everything with each other, parents were not a topic you commonly discussed as it was pretty sensitive.

As silence engulfed the two of you again, you asked Jungkook, “Do you want a family when you grow up?”

“Yes, but only with the woman I love.” He stared intensely at you.

You looked back into his eyes, not knowing how to reply.

“Y/n, you are the one I lo-“

You cut him off quickly, pressing your finger onto his lips.

“Please don’t, I don’t think I can handle that.” You say apologetically, “I don’t deserve to be loved. My scars, they’re too ugly. I- I’m ugly. I don’t deserve love.” Your tears fumbled your words.

Jungkook’s eyebrows fumbled, his strong arms grabbing your arms gently, relentlessly pulling it towards him even as you tried your best to pull it away. He gently looked at your scars, rubbing onto them as he pulled them to his lips and kissed them gently.

“They’re beautiful y/n, everything about you is beautiful.”

Your tears started pouring as Jungkook looked at you with so much love and affection, kissing your ugly scars with so much care as if they were the most beautiful thing in the world.

“No they’re not, I can’t even look at them. It hurts, Jungkook. I hate everything about myself.” You leaned your head on his shoulders as you cried harder.

Jungkook hesitated for a moment, before grabbing something out from his pocket.

You almost laughed amidst your tears when you saw what he took out. A pink crayon. You remember giving that to him because you refused to use that colour in your drawings, stating that you hated that colour. (mostly because it was the colour of the chair in the rainbow room) As years passed and your crayons were used up, you never knew he had kept that crayon until this day, keeping it in his pocket like that.

You kept quiet as you watched him curiously. He grabbed your arms gently, drawing cute little stars around them.

“Look, now your arm is a cute little galaxy. It’s even more beautiful than the sky up there.” He smiled gently at you.

Looking at your arm now, you chuckled slightly as it did slightly resemble the universe above you. Jungkook used his fingers to wipe away the tears below your eyes.

“Since I kissed your scars, don’t you think you should kiss mine too?” He smirked.

You laughed, tears dissipating as you bent down and kissed the scars on his arm as well. You grabbed the pink crayon, drawing stars around his scars as well. You frowned when you realise his little universe didn’t look nearly as nice as yours.

“Wow you’re trying to make my scars uglier with your ugly stars.” He teased you.

This time, instead of throwing the crayon into his faces, you smiled endearingly as you leaned your head onto his chest, savouring as much as you could of this sweet moment.

“Jungkook… sorry for cutting you off just now. In fact, I-I actually love-“

Just as you were about to confess, you were suddenly interrupted.

“Jeon Jungkook! I told you no more sneaking out! This is it! You will be punished! Grab her!”

You felt yourself being pulled away from Jungkook’s side as two strong men grabbed both sides of your arms.

“Let go of me!” You tried pushing yourself off and using your powers but you were too weak after the experiments this week.

“Stop! Let go of her now!”

You’ve never seen Jungkook this mad before. Jungkook used his powers, twisting the heads of the two men holding you, making them crumble on the floor with blood gushing out of their eyes. You looked at Jungkook in shock.

Before you could run away, more men appeared, grabbing you once again, other men grabbing onto Jungkook.

At this point, you were a sobbing mess and the both of you were unable to escape since Jungkook’s powers were too weak from attacking the two men.

Jungkook was fuming, struggling in the grip of the two men, as he repeatedly shouted, “Don’t hurt her! Please! Let her go!”

You could feel yourself getting weaker as the men holding you placed a device onto your arm, draining your energy.

“This is your punishment, Jungkook. You’ll never see her again.”

That was the last thing you heard before you blacked out.

——

2016

You barely saw Jungkook again after that. They moved his room into another wing, and held his experiments elsewhere. You were back to 2005, lonely and depressed.

The only times you heard of Jungkook were through overhearing gossips from the workers.

“He caused a ruckus again, asking to see y/n. “

Your heart ached, longing to see him once again as well, and also concerned that he would be punished for being uncooperative.

You started focusing more on following the doctor’s instructions, with the hope that you could rid of your powers quickly so you could be released together with Jungkook. You were starting to see hope, everyday your powers were slightly diminishing and becoming weaker as you focused diligently during your experiments. Although as your powers grew weaker, you noticed you were becoming weaker as well. You’d lost a bit of weight and strength. But that didn’t falter you. You were too determined on losing your powers and escaping the facility.

Every morning, you would wake up to the fading drawing of you and Jungkook together watching the sky, bringing you back to the memory of that cursed night. Nights ended with you daydreaming on what could have been if you guys weren’t separated. You just wished you could have seen him one more time.

You didn’t know that your wish would have came true so soon.

It was 2am at night. You were lying on your bed, staring at the stars you had drawn on your ceiling with the crayons Jungkook gave years back. When someone entered your room quietly.

“Y/n, I have no time to explain. You have to come with me now.”

You looked up, shocked at the familiar voice. Sure enough, it was Jungkook in the flesh. He had an anxious look on his face, as if he was in a rush.

“W-what? How?” You didn’t know how to react after seeing him for the first time in so long. He looked the same from the last time you met him, except he grew buffer and more handsome. You looked at his arms, realising he still had pink stars that looked like the ones you drew around his scars. You assumed that he had traced over the stars when they started to fade so that they would stay intact. You let out a small smile at that.

He grabbed your wrist tightly, dragging you out of your room in a rush as he kept looking around for workers. You were still in a state of shock, unable to say a word as you followed him. When he was sure no one was in the hallway, he dragged you into the janitors room, closing the door.

He turned to you, glossy eyes looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered in his life.

“I missed you so much.”

“Me too.”

The two of you stood in silence for a few seconds until Jungkook remembered why he came to find you.

“Look, y/n, we have a chance to escape. No, we need to escape. I found out something about the facility here. They have no plans to actually cure us, they can’t. They plan to have us stay here forever, to contain us and weaken us so we can’t escape. They’re afraid of us, y/n. And they can kill us at any time. They couldn’t kill us previously because the government did not allow it with the public watching. But with time passing, I overheard them saying that the public is forgetting and the government gave them the green light to kill us anytime we prove we’re a threat. We need to go, y/n.”

You knew this time it wasn’t a joke. Jungkook had never put on such a serious face before, and you could only nod at whatever he was saying. It was weird, the way you trusted him so easily. But he was the only person in your life who ever truly understood you and supported you. Maybe that was why you agreed to easily to whatever he said.

“W-when do we leave?” Your mind was still confused at how fast things were escalating. A moment ago you were just about to fall asleep, and now you were about to escape from the only place you’ve been in for the past few years of your life.

“Now.”

You followed him quietly as the two of you entered the vent you’d once been in. Memories of that horrible day came into your mind, but you pushed them away. Despite having an inkling that something about his plan could go wrong, you tried ignoring that thought, hoping it would be a success and that the two of you could actually leave together.

The two of you crawled through the vent, going a different route from the previous time. When he stopped abruptly, you stopped as well, waiting for his instructions. Looking down from the vent through the tiny holes, you realised you were above the main entrance of the building, the same entrance you and your mother had walked through the first time you entered.

You held your breath at the memory of that day. You hadn’t seen this door since that day in 2005 since it was always blocked off by guards and lots of protection. You felt heartbeat increase, maybe there really was hope at an escape.

“Ok on my signal you follow me and jump down, alright?” Jungkook turned around to look at you as he whispered. You nodded determinedly in response.

When Jungkook mouthed the word ‘now’ to you, he kicked off an opening on the vent and jumped down onto the floor as you followed along. As you jumped down, you stumbled slightly, but Jungkook caught you, steadying you with his arms.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” The guards, who had been on break took notice of us and ran after us from a few meters away.

“Run!”

Jungkook grabbed your arm tightly, pulling you along with him as the two of you ran for your lives out of the building.

As you ran, you started panicking as all you could see around you were greenery. But then hope came again when you could see a town with people and buildings in the far distance. There was a chance the two of you could make it.

You ran harder, locking hands with Jungkook as you both ran towards the town.

Bang!

The sound of the gunshot resonated through the forest. You didn’t feel any pain. But that made you feel worse. Because you knew it was Jungkook that had been shot.

“Shit…” Jungkook groaned in pain as he grabbed onto his stomach, blood gushing out.

Despite the pain, he didn’t give up, dragging you to a blind spot in the forest behind a tree where no one could see the two of you.

You placed him gently on the floor as tears flowed down your eyes uncontrollably.

“No…no, please…” You muttered as you tried putting pressure on the wound.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Go. Go without me.” He said with little energy.

“No! No… I’m not leaving you here.” At this point you could barely see anything, everything blurred from your tears.

“You have to go now y/n… please… I love you so much…” He said with tears.

“Sorry, y/n, I didn’t want to show you my new power this way, but I have no choice.” He said weakly.

You were confused for a moment, until he grabbed onto your arm and said, “You will run as fast as you can to the town there and not look back once. And you will never ever return to this place.”

Instantaneously after his command, your legs stood up without your will and ran towards the town.

“W-wait! Jungkook! I love you! Stop this now! Please! I’m begging you!”

Your words were no use, your legs following Jungkook’s command as you couldn’t even look back to give a final glance at him.

When you reached the town, you broke down on the street immediately, wanting to run back to help him, but you physically couldn’t.

2018

Healing was hard. Especially without Jungkook. But eventually you moved on, like you always do. After escaping, you found a small job as a cashier at a convenience store, becoming close friends with the old grandma who owned the store. Your income was not a lot, but it was enough for three meals a day and rent for a small apartment. You went on that way for about 2 years, until realising you were too lonely and needed a new companion. And so you adopted an 8 year old golden retriever who had previously been used for animal testing. The moment you saw the scars on his frail little body, you broke down and sobbed at the adoption drive in front of dozens of people. You knew at that moment that he was yours. You named him Jeon Bibi.

—

13 June, 2020

“Jeon Bibi! The park is this way, where are you bringing me to?” You chuckled at your dog’s cute behaviour as he excitedly dragged you away to the opposite direction of the park you usually walked to.

“Ok, ok you’re the boss, i’ll follow you.” You smile affectionally at him as you trail behind him, curious to find out where he was bringing you to.

When Bibi came to an abrupt stop, you realised that he stopped behind the tall silhouette of a man’s back. You looked up curiously at the man, wondering why Bibi brought you to him. The man whipped around when he felt Bibi sniffing his hands.

You felt your breath hitch as the familiar man turned around, staring deeply into your eyes. For a moment, time stopped. Your eyes turned glossy as years of memories flashed passed your mind in an instant, the walls you’ve built around your heart demolishing in a split second. Your eyes trailed from his slightly longer, curlier black hair down to his large brown doe eyes, and to his pink lips, adorning a new lip piercing. You brought your eyes down to his body, noticing he became even buffer and taller. Then your eyes reached his arms and you felt your heart stop, looking at the scars that you once rubbed, kissed, newly decorated by familiar stars that were now permanently inked onto his skin.

He seemed equally shocked as he stared at you, tears brimming his widened eyes.

You both didn’t move an inch, staring into each other’s eyes. You were the first to break the silence.

“I thought you said my stars were ugly.”

He broke into laughter amidst his tears at the fact that that was your first comment after meeting him. You could feel your heart squeeze at his laughter. God, you missed him so, so much. You found yourself laughing along to his contagious laughter. For a moment, it felt like the two of you were 10 again, laughing without any worries.

“Y/n, everything about you is beautiful, even your ugly stars.” He ceased his laughter, small smile on his face as he looked at you intensely, years of memories hidden behind those eyes.

He paused for a second, hesitating before confessing.

“Y/n, I love yo-“

Before he could finish, you cut him off by taking a step closer to him and smashing your lips against his. He instantly melted into the kiss, grabbing you tightly, scared you would be separated again. You hugged him back tighter, reassuring him that the two of you would stay together forever.

After all, he was your star, your salvation, the one who made you love your scars, the one taught you acceptance and love, the one who made living worth it.

A/N: I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Ifeel so attached to them i cant do this rn i’m so sad. if u don’t understand the last part basically he REMEMBERED THE SHAPE OF HER STARS AND GOT A TATTOO OF THEM EVEN THOUGH HE HATES NEEDLES OK 😭😭😭😭ok but actually this piece was a bit of a rush since i wanted to quickly post it before my great war so it may be a bit incomplete at parts ANYWAYS PRAY FOR MY GREAT TICKETING WAR TMR🙏🙏THANKS LOVELIES FOR READING and do give comments if u can because i love reading feedback <3

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Especially if it's Jungkook Au, all I want is to cry. Please recommend some fic that is full of angst. Noo smut, please.😭

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

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i need more of something like these 🥹🥹🥹🥹

when did it end? - park jimin

short and sweet. mild angst. inspired by billie eilish's 'what was i made for?'. dad!jimin au.

my masterlist!

｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆

jimin had watched his daughter grow up.

her face, round with youth and bright like the sunshine, had changed little in his eyes even though he knew that she wasn’t a baby anymore. in fact, she was exactly the age that you were when he met you, today.

looking at her, laughing with her friends in the living room while he sat at the kitchen counter, he couldn’t help but think back to how life was with you.

days that felt neverending, spent at the beach. wading through the cold water, all year round, even during the freezing winter when you would grumble about how it was way too cold for the sun to work, way too cold for you to tan the way you wanted to. regardless of what you said, he always managed to drag you into the ocean. not that it took too much convincing—he knew, deep down, that you had always been a lover of the sea. just like he was. it was something that had brought the two of you together.

other days, you would go to the cinema like teenagers always did, on first dates, and second dates, and whenever they weren’t sure of where else to go. you were a sucker for horror and even though jimin always had nightmares for days after watching one, he still went with you. anything to make you happy. (even if it traumatised him a bit...)

it had all ended far too fast. not even three months after the birth of your daughter, you were gone. the doctors had done everything they could to save you, but you were gone.

that was sixteen years ago, now. sixteen years ago, jimin had had no idea how he would raise his daughter without you, without his lover, his best friend, his rock.

“dad!”

pulled out of his thoughts, jimin met the gleaming eyes of his clever daughter and smiled, lines creasing at the corners of his eyes. “soomin, what’s wrong?”

“we’re going out,” soomin responded with a bright grin, gesturing at her three friends, who had begun to pack up their things, “i’ll see you tonight. i’m so excited for your cake.”

jimin chuckled, silenced by how deeply her smile reminded him of you. how the way her left cheek dimpled was the way yours had. how her voice was as bright and beautiful as yours had always been.

“stay safe, soominie,” he said, patting her on the head, “i love you.”

she jokingly slapped at his hand for the pat, before heading out the door. jimin was left staring at the door, the house absent of sound.

he wished you were here to see it all.

---

without you, part 2

matt murdock x f!reader

A/N: hey the title rhymes. Hi angels! Part 2 is finally here, by heavy demand! And uh... for those who thought I was gonna fix everything with this part?? No, I'm here to make it worse! Woo! (Don't hate me, I did warn you lmao). So, enjoy the angst! Hope it's worth the wait x

Summary: continuing on from Part 1 - You return after the ‘blip’. Five years is a long time, and a lot of things can happen in that time. Where does that leave you now?

Word count: somewhere in the 2.7k zone idk

Warnings: ANGST. Angst squared, if you will. Broken hearts everywhere. Broken hearted reader. Broken hearted Matty. A brief broken hearted Frank coming in for the rescue. Not a happy ending. Mentions of divorce and the religious thoughts surrounding that, the Blip and the devastation it would've caused, break ups, brief jealousy, heavy denial, anxiety, lots of crying and I just want to hold onto him forever & ever. This is unedited coz I'm lazy and like to just throw things out into the void and die like a warrior.

There’s a vicious, relentless pounding behind your temples when you finally begin to feel the darkness pulling at your mind recede. With the constant stab of pain, everything returns—the apparent lost time, the strange new world that had grown during your absence, the relationships that had also changed during those five years.

Five whole years.

It might as well have been an eternity.

Your whole life, everything you knew—gone. It doesn’t seem real, it’s just not possible, and yet here you are. Here you are in a world that still feels so familiar, and sickeningly not. Your thoughts are a vicious storm in your mind, merely intensifying the throb running along your forehead. Your system flutters between confusion, denial, mourning.

It’s enough to make you want to simply fall back into the blissful void of unconsciousness, until—

“Sweetheart?”

Matt. 

Your heart still jumps at his gentle rasp, a part of you longing to just soften into his hold and cling to him like you’d done so many times before, but you can’t. He’s not—he’s not your Matt. Not anymore. 

It’s hard to pull away from the fingers tracing your cheek, and when you open your eyes, they wince from the light shining through the large windows. He’s knelt on the floor beside you, a frown of concern creasing his brows as you slowly shift on weak limbs until you’re sitting upright on the leather.

You study his features through raw, hazy eyes, and it’s only now you notice the subtle changes you had missed upon your return to the apartment—the few more creases lining his face, the extra spatterings of grey strands amongst his dark tresses. His hair… it’s shorter too, now that you’re really looking. How had you not seen that? Not noticed?

Maybe it was the panic. It had to have been. You didn’t notice anything else when you ran in. Your surroundings had changed within a second, everything was all just so confusing and mad—you had just wanted him, you wanted home. Turns out, you had no home to return to. No one to return to. 

There must be so many others. The pain must be immense throughout the world. Lovers returning to mere memories. Parents returning to kids left behind, now years older and practically strangers. Children returning to homes that were no longer there, lost amongst the new world and without anyone familiar around them to find comfort in. God, they must be so scared.

Matt’s hand returns to your face, the backs of his fingers testing the feel of your forehead before ever so slowly trailing away until they rest where your pulse thrums through the skin of your throat. It’s not necessary—he’d hear it across town. Maybe he’s seeking physical reassurance that you’re really here, right in front of him.

“Talk to me,” he pleads quietly, “say something, anything.”

You find nothing worth speaking. You doubt you’d even have the strength to speak with how dry and heavy your tongue feels in your mouth. His hand moves, fingers hot on your skin as he cups the underside of your jaw and this time, you don’t quite have the strength to pull away.

All you want is this.

His touch, his presence—him.

“Sweetheart, I—” he stops, head tilting ever so slightly towards the door.

You watch him stiffen, tension rolling through his shoulders as he rises from his knelt position before turning towards the door to the apartment expectantly. It takes longer for your senses to catch up, but eventually the dull thud of boots hitting the flooring outside of the apartment hits your ears—

Frank.

Where was he through all of this? Had he been left to carry on with life, trying to make sense of a world left in ruin? Or had he been washed away with the breeze, just like half the planet? Universe? You want to ask Matt, but words seem to fade away on your tongue. 

He doesn’t bother knocking—he never has.

While there had been some stirrings of indifference between him and Matt after everything that happened, there was still a solid foundation of respect, which quickly extended to you the more you attempted to coax the beaten and bloodied man into your clutches for some much needed medical treatment. You were more than acquaintances, a little less than friends—just close enough for him to feel comfortable coming and going from the apartment should he have ever needed patching up.

“Apparently it’s been a while,” Frank mutters gruffly as a somewhat greeting once he’s stepped into the apartment, and you feel the same air of confusion and denial radiating from him.

He had been gone then, like you. How is he handling this? Does he feel as lost as you? As scared? You’d always thought him to be someone not exactly immune to the feeling, but at least stronger than others. As much as you feel for him, hurt for him, knowing exactly the type of thoughts and feelings that plague him, you find comfort in the fact that you weren’t alone in this.

Matt doesn’t respond, and Frank sighs tiredly, eyes flashing briefly to the side under his heavily bruised and swollen brow.

“I ain’t here to fight, Red.”

Matt’s tongue flicks over his lips and he gives a humourless huff, still not relaxing from his defensive stance. Maybe he was expecting Frank to be pissed and burst in like a raging bull with red in his vision, seeing as he and Karen had something brewing slowly between them all those years ago, but Frank doesn’t seem to be interested in any violence whatsoever.

You’re not even entirely sure what he’s here for.

“Well, Karen’s not here—”

“I know, she was with me,” Frank rumbles deeply, head tilting as he appraises Matt, “told me the happy news—congrats.”

It’s not insincere, but it’s damn near close. 

His gaze moves to you.

He studies the way you sit, drawn in on yourself and cuddling your chest in an effort to hold yourself together. You can feel how raw and swollen your eyes are, and when you finally manage to tiredly lift them to meet his, Frank seems to soften.

It’s only slight, imperceptible to anyone who didn’t know his mannerisms well, but you see it.

“I was thinkin’ you might need a place, after hearin’ about—” he swallows, jaw rolling ever so slightly. He exhales sharply and shifts on his feet, “You got anywhere to go?” 

He’s here for you?

Matt intervenes immediately. “She’s staying here, Frank—”

Staying here? In the apartment you used to live in? That he now lives in with another woman? Was his idea to leave you sleeping on the couch alone, while they sleep in your bed together? No, it’s not your bed anymore. It’s their bed. Their apartment.

Five years of Daredevil and regular concussions must’ve really killed some of his brain cells. Is he even still Daredevil? Maybe married life changed his perspective on his dangerous nightly habits. Maybe his perspective changed on a lot of things. Is he even the same Matt you had left behind?

Frank’s head tilts, his eyes narrowing into a scowl as they flick back to Matt. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t askin’ you—was I, Red?”

“No,” you finally rasp in reply to his earlier question before Matt could retort, voice rough and weak in your throat, “no, I don’t.”

He nods, expecting your answer. “You got a bag?”

“I don’t know if I have any things left,” you mutter, bitterly wondering where your belongings went. Storage? Donated? The trash? How long did they leave it, did Matt leave it before tossing it all away? Like you’d never even existed, like you’d never even mattered. “Do I have anything here, Matt?”

Matt baulks at the ice coating your tone, and it’s unfair. You know that. Deep down you know you’re being unfair, a part of your mind gently reminding you that you probably would’ve thought and done the same in his position should it have been reversed, but you don’t care.

The familiar bite of anger, pain, still stirs relentlessly in your system and it trumps all reason and logic.

You had a life, and now it’s in complete ruins.

What are you supposed to do with that?

Frank nods sagely, “We’ll get you some things, ain’t gotta worry about that. You comin’?”

As much as you want to reject the idea of leaving, as much as your heart screams at you to stay with Matt because he’s all you know, he’s all you have, and he was telling you how much he loved you only mere hours ago… you give a minimal nod, and shift to stand from the couch.

It wasn’t hours ago—it was five years.

Five years.

Matt instinctively steps in front of you to keep you from moving any further, his tongue darting across his lips in an apparent panic, “You’re going with him?”

“Can you give us a minute? I won’t be long,” you ask Frank quietly, aching at the way Matt’s anxiety seems to heighten at your words.

Frank gives a single nod, and then slips out, the door clicking quietly shut behind him. Matt ignores it, every sense focused in on you and the way your heart beats a broken rhythm in your chest, the way your nails pick at the cotton of your sleeves, the way fresh tears smell building on your lash line—

“I have nowhere else to go,” you mutter, body now numb to feeling and just utterly exhausted from the onslaught of emotions the day had thrust upon you. “I can’t stay here, Matt. I can’t. Seeing you two—God, it’ll kill me. I can’t do it.”

Why you? Why did it have to be you? 

A part of you wishes it would’ve been Karen in your place, uncaringly and unknowingly torn from her life to leave everything she ever loved behind, only to return to a world that had survived, that had moved on without her… and you don’t even have the energy to feel guilty for such a thought yet.

It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t even Matt’s.

“Sweetheart,” Matt pleads softly, hands seeking and taking your hands tightly, “just—just tell me what to do. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”

The thought is immediate—would he leave her? Could you ask that of him? Could you expect him to just drop and abandon everything he’s built during your absence?

You want to.

You want to tell him to break it off with her as soon as physically possible, to kick her out so you could be at home where you’re comfortable and with him and just act like nothing happened—

—but you can’t.

You can’t bring yourself to say the words.

What would he think of you asking a question like that? Would he even do it? You know how he feels about divorce, what his religion thinks of divorce. His whole belief system, his life, his God… would he abandon it all for you?

Looking at him now, how he physically pleads with you with those soft, lost eyes looking for guidance, you believe that maybe, just maybe, he would. 

But you can’t ask that of him.

You could never, and would never, ask that of him.

Unless—

“Were you happy?” You ask softly, eyes bouncing between his where they rest just left of your face. 

He blinks, a slight frown forming between his eyes in an effort to make sense of your unexpected words, “What?”

“Before I—” you take a breath, tongue rolling along your lips to moisten the sudden dry skin, “—before I just materialised back onto the street… were you happy? With your life? With her?”

Without me?

Say no.

God, please say no.

You begin to wonder why you asked. Maybe you’re a glutton for punishment, maybe you think nothing could possibly hurt any more than it already does, but when his expression falters, when his mouth opens and nothing seems to make it past his lips, you know that’s not possible.

This… this seems to hit the hardest.

He was happy.

He was happy before you came back.

He was happy without you. 

And it’s… good.

It is.

Of course you don’t want him to be anything but that. He had found what he wanted from life—some normality, some peace, and it’s with that understanding that you realise you have no place here anymore. At least not with him. You have no part in his life now, and it shreds that last little untouched piece of your hopeful heart to absolute ruins.

Denial still pulls at your mind, still blatantly refuses to accept that five years had actually passed. You’d been nothing but a distant memory to him, to your friends, to the world, and yet, everything is still so vividly fresh for you. You only got out of bed, held him, kissed him, a few hours ago—a few fucking hours!

Five years.

“It’s okay,” you mutter, as his saddened eyes flutter in a panic, “I want that for you, Matt. I’ve always wanted that for you, even if that means I’m not—that we’re not—”

You ache at the thought of being apart from him, a feeling he had already experienced and endured. 

“Three years,” he says quietly, brokenly, a slow gathering of tears building along his lash line, “three years I searched, I waited, I prayed… if I had known—if I had known you… I wouldn’t have—”

—moved on. 

You envision Matt lost in the organised pews with dozens of other faceless mourners, on his knees and weeping into his closed hands, begging for the strength to finally let you go. He was granted it, after enduring agony for such a stretch of time, and now it’s all fallen to pieces at your return.

“It’s okay,” you repeat softly, the feeling of your heart beating in your throat choking the words, “it’s okay.”

“No,” he shakes his head, face creasing as the tears begin to make their way down his cheeks, “no, it’s not. I’ve only just gotten you back. You’re back, and now—now I—God. I can’t say goodbye. Not again. I can’t.”

“So don’t,” you say simply, a fresh build of your own tears streaking your cheeks, “we won’t say goodbye. Just… just forget. Forget I ever came back, Matt. Everything will be as it was.”

He recoils sharply, as if you physically struck him. “I can’t do that—”

“Yes, you can. You have to, we all have to.”

“No, I won’t—”

“You told me to tell you,” you croak weakly, the feel of his coarse stubble piercing the soft skin of your palm as you cradle his cheek, “you told me to tell you what to do, and that you’ll do it. Well, this is it, Matt. This is what I’m telling you to do—forget I ever came back. It’ll be easier for everyone. You can keep what you had—what you have, and I—”

And you?

What will you do?

Where will you go?

Your hand falls from his face, only for it to be snatched up and returned to its previous spot with his own pressed tightly against it to keep it there. His tears smear against your skin, the evidence of his heartbreak an obvious reminder that he never let go completely.

There’s something still held for you within him, it just wasn’t the same as when you left.

His forehead comes to rest against your own, and you weaken into the familiar comfort of his touch, just for a moment. You don’t want to let go, don’t even know if you can. There's nothing left to be said, nothing left to be worked out. This is just it.

Why does it have to be this way? Your stomach churns at the idea of walking out for good. How can you? Nothing has changed for you—everything you feel for him is right there, right there where it’s always been, and you can’t do anything with it.

You indulge in the moment a little longer, stretching out to softly press your lips to his with the bittersweet taste of a loving goodbye—one last time. You savour the feel of him, his lips, so warm, so soft and sweet and familiar—

—and then pull away, the air filling the space between you lingering with the memory of what could have been.

He lets your hand fall away this time, pained haunted eyes scrunching closed as you further the distance between you until you’re at the door to the apartment. The quiet exhale of a sob reaches your ears as you open the door, and you dare not look back at Matt falling apart as you close it softly behind you.

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