You Drew Stars Around My Scars

“you drew stars around my scars”

pairing: experimented on! jungkook x experimented on! reader

powers au!, childhood besties au!, patients au!

genre: angst, fluff, sfw

wc: 5.9k

synopsis: meeting jungkook was like gazing up at the brightest star in the sky as you lay helpless on the cold ground in the dark night. you both found comfort in one another. you healed each other as you suffered through painful experiments together. the pain was bearable, with him by your side. whenever he was around, your smiles were brighter, your shoulders were lighter, and all your worries just seemed to disappear in an instant. good things don’t last though. you learned that the hard way.

OR

jungkook and y/n meet in the hospital both trying to be cured of their ‘disease’ (they have powers :O) and form memories along the way <3

tw: experiments on human (not detailed though), scars, gun

*inspired by ‘cardigan’ by taylor swift: “you drew stars around my scars” pls listen to it while u read this 🥹🥹(A/N: GONNA BE FIGHTING HARD FOR TICKETS TO ERAS TOUR THIS WEEK SO I WROTE THIS HOPING TO MANIFEST SOME TICKETS😭🙏🙏)

——

13 june, 2005

You monitored the pale, white room around you. White bed. White cupboard. White walls. You sighed in frustration. Your rainbow obsessed 7 year old brain screamed at you to add some colour to the walls. Note to self: Bring crayons to colour walls next time.

“Please…I will take care of her… don’t do this…”

Hearing the small familiar voice of your mother, your eyes lit up, and you climbed onto your white bed, propping your elbows onto the tiny window frame in the small room, peeking your small head out as you stared curiously into the other room. Your mother talking to a man in a white coat. They were having a serious conversation, and your mother seemed like she was about to cry. Why is mommy crying? Is she hurt? You thought to yourself, immediately jumping off the bed and running to the room next door to find your mother and comfort her.

The moment you entered the room your mother was in, you noticed she instantly wiped her tears away, trying to hide her tears from you.

“Hey sweetie, you like the room?” She plastered a smile on her face as she looked endearingly at you.

“It was alright. It could have more colour though. Next time I should bring my crayons and draw Bibi on it!” You let out a huge smile at the thought of Bibi, showing off your missing front tooth. Bibi was your imaginary friend. Picture a golden retriever, but covered in rainbows. Making friends were not exactly your specialty. For some reason, everyone called you a freak and did not want to talk to you, all because you were able to move things with your mind. And so you found comfort in your imaginary friend Bibi instead. He was the only one who understood you.

“Hey sweetheart, you’ll be staying here for a while, ok? It’s to make you better. Don’t worry, mommy will come back to visit when I can.” You could tell your mother was holding back her tears. It was the same face she made when daddy screamed at her and left us, or when she received a call that grandma died.

“W-why can’t mommy stay with me?” You felt tears brimming at your eyes as a sinking feeling appeared in your heart. You could feel that something bad was happening.

“Y/n, you are a danger to your mother. You need to stay here to get better-“ The doctor in the coat was cut off as I screamed out loud.

“NO! I WANT MY MOMMY! IM NOT GOING TO STAY HERE!” Your tears were overwhelming you as more people stomped into the room, grabbing your mother’s arms as she tried to grab you into her embrace. She had released her tears by now, sobbing uncontrollably. The people who stomped into the room grabbed her arms harshly, dragging her away from me and out of the door.

You felt your arms being pulled back by the doctor as you tried reaching out for your mother. You let out a frustrated scream, as your emotions ran rampage. The room around you started to shake and you unintentionally slammed everyone in the room against the hard wall — including your mother. Everyone except you fell hard to the ground as they hit the wall, all groaning in pain. You looked at your mother apologetically, then looked at your own hands in disgust. What have I done?

Your mother looks at you with one last glance, glossy eyes as she mouths to you ‘It’s ok, i love you’ The security people, as if unphased from the hit, immediately got up, containing their job as they dragged your mother forcefully out of the room. You didn’t dare to stop them. Not after what you did. You knew you were a monster.

“Do you see now, y/n? You’re a danger to everyone. If you want to be fixed, you will do the wise choice of cooperating with us so you can see your mother again.” The doctor got up slowly, looking at you with a cunning smile.

You gulped. You were scared. So, so scared and lonely. But you knew you had to do this. You had to get better. You had to make your mom proud. So you bravely nodded, agreeing to stay at the facility to get help.

—

2006

You never saw your mother again after that incident. You were unsure if she chose not to see you again because she thought you were a monster or if she was not allowed to visit you, but you sure hoped it was the latter.

You grew accustomed to the lifestyle. Everyday, your morning would be filled with ‘recreational activities’ like playing chess, but having to move the pieces with your mind, or doing basic commands with your powers that the doctors made you do. Afternoons were the worst. They would strap you into the terrifying pink chair in the ‘rainbow room’ and conduct experiments on your brain. For a room called ‘rainbow room’, it was certainly not full of rainbows. You would have to sit through hours of excruciating pain as the voices in your head overwhelmed you. There were so many needles, blood. But there was nothing you could do. None of the doctors cared for you. You had no one.

As time passed, you started getting used to the lifestyle. The food wasn’t bad, you had a chef that would make what you wanted, and servants that would get you what want. The only issue was the loneliness. You realised you were the only patient at the facility. Nobody ever talked to you. The guards, doctors and servants were not allowed to form a relationship with you. You had no one to talk to — except Bibi. But you knew Bibi wasn’t real. You weren’t a kid anymore - you had matured quickly from having to face the bitter reality. Bibi was merely your coping mechanism from the horrors of your daily life.

That was until he came along.

On 13 June, 2006, Jeon Jungkook, a 9 year old boy, was admitted into your facility exactly a year after your admittance. You were excited when you heard the news. You would finally have someone to talk to, someone to share your pain and to hang out with — a friend. Sadly, you did not hit it off as well as you expected it to. Jungkook was a shy, frightened boy, slightly shorter than you, eyes red and puffy probably from the amount of times he cried after being separated from his family. You felt for him. You were in the exact same situation as him a year ago, and you understood that he needed some private time to heal himself. He was definitely not in the mood for making friends. So you kept your distance for a while, not wanting to seem too desperate.

Until the night of his first experience in the ‘rainbow room’. You laid on your bed, reading the same book for the thousandth time as you sighed in boredom. Until you heard a sniffle in the hallway.

Curious, you stepped out of your room, not shocked to see Jungkook crouching into a little ball in the hallway outside his room, crying quietly. You could see the deep scars left on his left arm, the same ones you get daily from the experiments. You crouch down beside him softly, hesitantly patting his back as you tried to comfort him wordlessly. At first, he looked tense and uncomfortable at your touch, but he slowly eased into it as he saw the same scars on your arms. You inched closer to him, giving him a warm embrace as you cried together with him.

After that night, the two of you became closer. He realised that you were just like him. That he was not alone in his painful journey. And so started your friendship with Jungkook.

You soon realised Jungkook was more than a shy, frightened boy. He could be playful and kind at times, and he quickly became your close friend — more like only friend.

He painted your bleak childhood colourful with memories and fun moments. The two of you would make inside jokes about the staff there, laughing at how they always wore the same clothes and probably didn’t wash them, and joke over stupid things like whose powers were stronger or who was taller.

Yet despite all the jokes, the two of you placed deep trust in one another, comforting each other when the experiments got too harsh and painful, convincing each other that it would end some day. Mornings and afternoons of playfulness and fun ended in late nights of cuddling and crying together. This lifestyle became a norm for the two of you. But still it was tolerable, because you had each other.

—

2010

“Y/n, look what I found!” Jungkook ran into your room with a big, smug toothy grin on his face, hiding something behind his back.

“Did you finally find out where your room actually is? Because I’m starting to think you don’t know that since you’re always in my room.” You rolled your eyes playfully as you pretended not to be interested in what he actually brought.

His smile faltered for a second, processing your words, before he faked an angry frown, and pounced onto your bed that you were laying on, tickling you as revenge.

“Ok stop,” you giggled, “I was just kidding, tell me what you brought.” He finally stopped tickling you, pulling something from under his shirt behind his back, as he excitedly presented it to you.

You jaw dropped in shock as you immediately snatched it from his hand, staring at it in disbelief.

“That’s right! A full set of rainbow coloured crayons just for you!” Jungkook beamed with pride.

It was only the previous night that you admitted your obsession with rainbows to him, telling him stories about Bibi, and sharing about how you wished you could colour your room walls. You’ve been begging the workers for some sort of colour since you’ve arrived, but they never met your requests, saying that it was too “childish”. You couldn’t help but wonder how Jungkook managed to get it.

“I bet Bibi could have never gotten this for you, it just proved I’m a much better friend than him!”

You laughed at Jungkook’s statement. After telling him about Bibi, he had been so jealous that you had another friend other than him, even though you repeatedly told him numerous times that Bibi was an imaginary friend. However, you didn’t admit that you hadn’t talked to Bibi in a long time since you’d made friends with Jungkook. That would make his pride swell too much.

“How did you get it? The workers never ever let me get anything like this!” You were still in disbelief.

“Well, doctor choi has been wanting to do the new form of experiment on me since a few weeks back, and he said he would reward me with anything I wanted if I did it! So since I’m the bravest and coolest person ever, I did it today!” Jungkook said with a smug smile.

You frowned when you heard what he said. For the past few weeks, Jungkook had opposed greatly to doing the new format of experiments, since it was on a much larger scale than the previous experiments we had done. Our previous experiments usually ended in scars on our arms, but this new experiment was performed on the whole body. Jungkook had protested against it, because he was too afraid of needles. He had always been less receptive to pain than you. But why did he suddenly agree to do it today?

You looked down on Jungkook’s body, noticing new scars that were on his legs. He quickly tried covering them, saying, “It’s no big deal! It wasn’t even painful!”

You knew it had to be painful. The size of the scarring were just much larger than the usual. You pouted in guilt, hugging Jungkook tightly, “You didn’t have to do that! I bet it hurt so bad!”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to do something for you after all you’ve done for me…” He looked at you, face blushing slightly from your close proximity.

That night, the two of you didn’t sleep, colouring the plain walls with the crayons until dawn broke.

“Pfff. What is that supposed to be?” Jungkook muffled his laughter when he turned to see what you were drawing.

Frowning, you exclaimed, “It’s the galaxy! These are all the planets and all my beautiful stars!”

“Those are supposed to be stars?! They’re so ugly!” Jungkook joked with you.

You threw one of the crayons in his face, ignoring his comments. You didn’t care how ugly your drawing was, you loved seeing the sky and stars shining. Especially the stars. Stars were your favourite thing. Before you came here, you and your mother went stargazing every week, staring into the beautiful sky. Even though you probably would never be able to see them again since you weren’t allowed out of the building, you still held on to the hope that maybe one day you could have that chance again.

You stared at your galaxy for a while before turning over to Jungkook’s side to see what he was drawing.

You were shocked to realise that he was a much better artist than you. You inched closer to his side, smiling when you realised what he drew. A portrait of you and him together, on a lush green field, staring up into a sky full of stars. Although you never told him directly about your love for stars, you realised he must have guessed it from all the times you talked about them and tried drawing them. Your felt your heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of Jungkook being so attentive to your likes.

Your eyes trailed down to below the beautiful drawing to see a small writing below.

‘Y/n and Jungkook together forever!’

—

2015

As the years ticked by quickly, Jungkook started growing from a boy into a man. Once he hit puberty, he shot up like a tree and grew muscles. His featured became more defined and he grew out of his baby fat. You noticed that as Jungkook turned into a teenager, he had also turned more rebellious towards the workers, always unwilling to follow through their instructions and ending up getting punished. Yet he still stayed kind and sweet towards you, acting like the same 10 year old boy when he’s around you.

“One more time and we will not tolerate this anymore! You got it?”

Hearing the faint voice of doctor choi, you quietly get up from your bed and run to your door, peeking out softly, looking in the hallway.

Doctor Choi stood outside of Jungkook’s room in anger, scolding him. You could barely see Jungkook from your angle, only seeing half of his body.

“Ya, ya whatever. I won’t do it again.” Jungkook rolled his eyes and then slammed the door in Doctor Choi’s face, resulting in Doctor Choi stomping away in anger.

When you were sure Doctor Choi was out of sight, you quietly tip toed to Jungkook’s room, knocking on his door impatiently.

“What more do you want? I-“ Jungkook opened the door, annoyed.

When he saw you, he paused and his eyes softened.

“What did you do again? I was so worried when I couldn’t find you this morning! You have to start being more careful! These people have power over our entire lives! You can’t just act recklessly like this!” You immediately pushed past him and entered his room, sitting on his bed, as you looked at him angrily.

He carried a childishly guilty look, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“I didn’t do anything bad! I just kind of sneaked out…”

“What!?? You tried sneaking out again?? Are you crazy? You could get into serious trouble-“

“I didn’t try, I did sneak out. I succeeded.” He said with a smug smirk on his face.

You paused your words in shock.

“Wait what? You sneaked out? Whats outside? Did you see the sky? How did you sneak out?” You bombarded him with questions.

He chickled slightly, sitting beside you in the bed.

“Chill, it’s mostly just greenery. But I found a really nice spot. I’ll take you there tonight.” He smiled gently at you.

You don’t know why you agreed with Jungkook’s ridiculous rebellious plan, but the thought of even a chance of being able to see the night sky again was just too tempting.

So now you and Jungkook were currently hiding in the vents, waiting for the right time to sneak out when nobody was looking. You sat rolled up in a circle beside Jungkook who looked noticeably more uncomfortable than you due to his size. The two of you were inches away from each other and you could feel your face heating up at the close proximity.

“This is really uncomfortable.” You muttered in the awkwardness.

He chuckled stating that it would be worth it.

Sure enough, he was right, as he usually was. When the workers were not looking, he quickly dragged you out of the vent as the two of you ran as quickly and quietly as you could to the spot he was talking about.

“Don’t open your eyes!” Jungkook placed his large hands over your eyes excitedly as he led you quietly to the spot.

You followed him blindly, placing your trust in him.

“OK! Open your eyes now!” You could hear the smile in his voice, excitedly opening your eyes.

When you peeled your eyes open, you stayed silent, in awe at the view you saw. The sky was pitch black, but the bright stars around twinkled in the dark. You felt like crying. You’ve been longing for this view for years. And now that you could see it in real life you didn’t know how to feel.

“I-It’s not the best view but I thought you would like it.” Jungkook said with a shy smile.

“It’s beautiful, Jungkook! I love it so much.” You were on the verge of tears, throwing yourself onto him as you embraced him tightly in gratitude.

You could feel him sigh in relief, hugging you back just as tightly.

“I’m glad you love it.”

The two of you sat on the field in silence, staring at the sky in awe. From your peripheral view, you noticed that Jungkook was looking at you the whole time.

“You should take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You joked with him as you turned to him momentarily.

“I really wish I could.” He replied.

You kept quietly, not expecting that response. The two of you stayed quiet for a while before you broke the silence.

“My mom used to bring me out to star gaze every week… I miss her so much.”

Jungkook looked at you in slight shock, not knowing how to reply. Though the two of you shared everything with each other, parents were not a topic you commonly discussed as it was pretty sensitive.

As silence engulfed the two of you again, you asked Jungkook, “Do you want a family when you grow up?”

“Yes, but only with the woman I love.” He stared intensely at you.

You looked back into his eyes, not knowing how to reply.

“Y/n, you are the one I lo-“

You cut him off quickly, pressing your finger onto his lips.

“Please don’t, I don’t think I can handle that.” You say apologetically, “I don’t deserve to be loved. My scars, they’re too ugly. I- I’m ugly. I don’t deserve love.” Your tears fumbled your words.

Jungkook’s eyebrows fumbled, his strong arms grabbing your arms gently, relentlessly pulling it towards him even as you tried your best to pull it away. He gently looked at your scars, rubbing onto them as he pulled them to his lips and kissed them gently.

“They’re beautiful y/n, everything about you is beautiful.”

Your tears started pouring as Jungkook looked at you with so much love and affection, kissing your ugly scars with so much care as if they were the most beautiful thing in the world.

“No they’re not, I can’t even look at them. It hurts, Jungkook. I hate everything about myself.” You leaned your head on his shoulders as you cried harder.

Jungkook hesitated for a moment, before grabbing something out from his pocket.

You almost laughed amidst your tears when you saw what he took out. A pink crayon. You remember giving that to him because you refused to use that colour in your drawings, stating that you hated that colour. (mostly because it was the colour of the chair in the rainbow room) As years passed and your crayons were used up, you never knew he had kept that crayon until this day, keeping it in his pocket like that.

You kept quiet as you watched him curiously. He grabbed your arms gently, drawing cute little stars around them.

“Look, now your arm is a cute little galaxy. It’s even more beautiful than the sky up there.” He smiled gently at you.

Looking at your arm now, you chuckled slightly as it did slightly resemble the universe above you. Jungkook used his fingers to wipe away the tears below your eyes.

“Since I kissed your scars, don’t you think you should kiss mine too?” He smirked.

You laughed, tears dissipating as you bent down and kissed the scars on his arm as well. You grabbed the pink crayon, drawing stars around his scars as well. You frowned when you realise his little universe didn’t look nearly as nice as yours.

“Wow you’re trying to make my scars uglier with your ugly stars.” He teased you.

This time, instead of throwing the crayon into his faces, you smiled endearingly as you leaned your head onto his chest, savouring as much as you could of this sweet moment.

“Jungkook… sorry for cutting you off just now. In fact, I-I actually love-“

Just as you were about to confess, you were suddenly interrupted.

“Jeon Jungkook! I told you no more sneaking out! This is it! You will be punished! Grab her!”

You felt yourself being pulled away from Jungkook’s side as two strong men grabbed both sides of your arms.

“Let go of me!” You tried pushing yourself off and using your powers but you were too weak after the experiments this week.

“Stop! Let go of her now!”

You’ve never seen Jungkook this mad before. Jungkook used his powers, twisting the heads of the two men holding you, making them crumble on the floor with blood gushing out of their eyes. You looked at Jungkook in shock.

Before you could run away, more men appeared, grabbing you once again, other men grabbing onto Jungkook.

At this point, you were a sobbing mess and the both of you were unable to escape since Jungkook’s powers were too weak from attacking the two men.

Jungkook was fuming, struggling in the grip of the two men, as he repeatedly shouted, “Don’t hurt her! Please! Let her go!”

You could feel yourself getting weaker as the men holding you placed a device onto your arm, draining your energy.

“This is your punishment, Jungkook. You’ll never see her again.”

That was the last thing you heard before you blacked out.

——

2016

You barely saw Jungkook again after that. They moved his room into another wing, and held his experiments elsewhere. You were back to 2005, lonely and depressed.

The only times you heard of Jungkook were through overhearing gossips from the workers.

“He caused a ruckus again, asking to see y/n. “

Your heart ached, longing to see him once again as well, and also concerned that he would be punished for being uncooperative.

You started focusing more on following the doctor’s instructions, with the hope that you could rid of your powers quickly so you could be released together with Jungkook. You were starting to see hope, everyday your powers were slightly diminishing and becoming weaker as you focused diligently during your experiments. Although as your powers grew weaker, you noticed you were becoming weaker as well. You’d lost a bit of weight and strength. But that didn’t falter you. You were too determined on losing your powers and escaping the facility.

Every morning, you would wake up to the fading drawing of you and Jungkook together watching the sky, bringing you back to the memory of that cursed night. Nights ended with you daydreaming on what could have been if you guys weren’t separated. You just wished you could have seen him one more time.

You didn’t know that your wish would have came true so soon.

It was 2am at night. You were lying on your bed, staring at the stars you had drawn on your ceiling with the crayons Jungkook gave years back. When someone entered your room quietly.

“Y/n, I have no time to explain. You have to come with me now.”

You looked up, shocked at the familiar voice. Sure enough, it was Jungkook in the flesh. He had an anxious look on his face, as if he was in a rush.

“W-what? How?” You didn’t know how to react after seeing him for the first time in so long. He looked the same from the last time you met him, except he grew buffer and more handsome. You looked at his arms, realising he still had pink stars that looked like the ones you drew around his scars. You assumed that he had traced over the stars when they started to fade so that they would stay intact. You let out a small smile at that.

He grabbed your wrist tightly, dragging you out of your room in a rush as he kept looking around for workers. You were still in a state of shock, unable to say a word as you followed him. When he was sure no one was in the hallway, he dragged you into the janitors room, closing the door.

He turned to you, glossy eyes looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered in his life.

“I missed you so much.”

“Me too.”

The two of you stood in silence for a few seconds until Jungkook remembered why he came to find you.

“Look, y/n, we have a chance to escape. No, we need to escape. I found out something about the facility here. They have no plans to actually cure us, they can’t. They plan to have us stay here forever, to contain us and weaken us so we can’t escape. They’re afraid of us, y/n. And they can kill us at any time. They couldn’t kill us previously because the government did not allow it with the public watching. But with time passing, I overheard them saying that the public is forgetting and the government gave them the green light to kill us anytime we prove we’re a threat. We need to go, y/n.”

You knew this time it wasn’t a joke. Jungkook had never put on such a serious face before, and you could only nod at whatever he was saying. It was weird, the way you trusted him so easily. But he was the only person in your life who ever truly understood you and supported you. Maybe that was why you agreed to easily to whatever he said.

“W-when do we leave?” Your mind was still confused at how fast things were escalating. A moment ago you were just about to fall asleep, and now you were about to escape from the only place you’ve been in for the past few years of your life.

“Now.”

You followed him quietly as the two of you entered the vent you’d once been in. Memories of that horrible day came into your mind, but you pushed them away. Despite having an inkling that something about his plan could go wrong, you tried ignoring that thought, hoping it would be a success and that the two of you could actually leave together.

The two of you crawled through the vent, going a different route from the previous time. When he stopped abruptly, you stopped as well, waiting for his instructions. Looking down from the vent through the tiny holes, you realised you were above the main entrance of the building, the same entrance you and your mother had walked through the first time you entered.

You held your breath at the memory of that day. You hadn’t seen this door since that day in 2005 since it was always blocked off by guards and lots of protection. You felt heartbeat increase, maybe there really was hope at an escape.

“Ok on my signal you follow me and jump down, alright?” Jungkook turned around to look at you as he whispered. You nodded determinedly in response.

When Jungkook mouthed the word ‘now’ to you, he kicked off an opening on the vent and jumped down onto the floor as you followed along. As you jumped down, you stumbled slightly, but Jungkook caught you, steadying you with his arms.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” The guards, who had been on break took notice of us and ran after us from a few meters away.

“Run!”

Jungkook grabbed your arm tightly, pulling you along with him as the two of you ran for your lives out of the building.

As you ran, you started panicking as all you could see around you were greenery. But then hope came again when you could see a town with people and buildings in the far distance. There was a chance the two of you could make it.

You ran harder, locking hands with Jungkook as you both ran towards the town.

Bang!

The sound of the gunshot resonated through the forest. You didn’t feel any pain. But that made you feel worse. Because you knew it was Jungkook that had been shot.

“Shit…” Jungkook groaned in pain as he grabbed onto his stomach, blood gushing out.

Despite the pain, he didn’t give up, dragging you to a blind spot in the forest behind a tree where no one could see the two of you.

You placed him gently on the floor as tears flowed down your eyes uncontrollably.

“No…no, please…” You muttered as you tried putting pressure on the wound.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Go. Go without me.” He said with little energy.

“No! No… I’m not leaving you here.” At this point you could barely see anything, everything blurred from your tears.

“You have to go now y/n… please… I love you so much…” He said with tears.

“Sorry, y/n, I didn’t want to show you my new power this way, but I have no choice.” He said weakly.

You were confused for a moment, until he grabbed onto your arm and said, “You will run as fast as you can to the town there and not look back once. And you will never ever return to this place.”

Instantaneously after his command, your legs stood up without your will and ran towards the town.

“W-wait! Jungkook! I love you! Stop this now! Please! I’m begging you!”

Your words were no use, your legs following Jungkook’s command as you couldn’t even look back to give a final glance at him.

When you reached the town, you broke down on the street immediately, wanting to run back to help him, but you physically couldn’t.

2018

Healing was hard. Especially without Jungkook. But eventually you moved on, like you always do. After escaping, you found a small job as a cashier at a convenience store, becoming close friends with the old grandma who owned the store. Your income was not a lot, but it was enough for three meals a day and rent for a small apartment. You went on that way for about 2 years, until realising you were too lonely and needed a new companion. And so you adopted an 8 year old golden retriever who had previously been used for animal testing. The moment you saw the scars on his frail little body, you broke down and sobbed at the adoption drive in front of dozens of people. You knew at that moment that he was yours. You named him Jeon Bibi.

—

13 June, 2020

“Jeon Bibi! The park is this way, where are you bringing me to?” You chuckled at your dog’s cute behaviour as he excitedly dragged you away to the opposite direction of the park you usually walked to.

“Ok, ok you’re the boss, i’ll follow you.” You smile affectionally at him as you trail behind him, curious to find out where he was bringing you to.

When Bibi came to an abrupt stop, you realised that he stopped behind the tall silhouette of a man’s back. You looked up curiously at the man, wondering why Bibi brought you to him. The man whipped around when he felt Bibi sniffing his hands.

You felt your breath hitch as the familiar man turned around, staring deeply into your eyes. For a moment, time stopped. Your eyes turned glossy as years of memories flashed passed your mind in an instant, the walls you’ve built around your heart demolishing in a split second. Your eyes trailed from his slightly longer, curlier black hair down to his large brown doe eyes, and to his pink lips, adorning a new lip piercing. You brought your eyes down to his body, noticing he became even buffer and taller. Then your eyes reached his arms and you felt your heart stop, looking at the scars that you once rubbed, kissed, newly decorated by familiar stars that were now permanently inked onto his skin.

He seemed equally shocked as he stared at you, tears brimming his widened eyes.

You both didn’t move an inch, staring into each other’s eyes. You were the first to break the silence.

“I thought you said my stars were ugly.”

He broke into laughter amidst his tears at the fact that that was your first comment after meeting him. You could feel your heart squeeze at his laughter. God, you missed him so, so much. You found yourself laughing along to his contagious laughter. For a moment, it felt like the two of you were 10 again, laughing without any worries.

“Y/n, everything about you is beautiful, even your ugly stars.” He ceased his laughter, small smile on his face as he looked at you intensely, years of memories hidden behind those eyes.

He paused for a second, hesitating before confessing.

“Y/n, I love yo-“

Before he could finish, you cut him off by taking a step closer to him and smashing your lips against his. He instantly melted into the kiss, grabbing you tightly, scared you would be separated again. You hugged him back tighter, reassuring him that the two of you would stay together forever.

After all, he was your star, your salvation, the one who made you love your scars, the one taught you acceptance and love, the one who made living worth it.

A/N: I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Ifeel so attached to them i cant do this rn i’m so sad. if u don’t understand the last part basically he REMEMBERED THE SHAPE OF HER STARS AND GOT A TATTOO OF THEM EVEN THOUGH HE HATES NEEDLES OK 😭😭😭😭ok but actually this piece was a bit of a rush since i wanted to quickly post it before my great war so it may be a bit incomplete at parts ANYWAYS PRAY FOR MY GREAT TICKETING WAR TMR🙏🙏THANKS LOVELIES FOR READING and do give comments if u can because i love reading feedback <3

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who knows his mistake was falling in love with you, but would do it again if you gave him a second chance. and it was just a second chance that he asked, that he begged. let Jungkook make the same mistakes. let Jungkook learn from his mistakes. let Jungkook love one more time so he can stop being in love with you. Jungkook was full of devotion, an ocean of pure love ran inside him desperately looking for a beach where he could delight and calm all the turmoil that existed inside him. just one more time. just one more kiss. just one more touch. just another chance was all Jungkook asked for because, even though his downfall was rooted in his devotion, Jungkook knew nothing more than loving you. it was a reality for Jungkook for years, an eternal life, and it was all he knew — let him live his life once again, that was all Jungkook asked for. “i should have seen this ending coming for myself, but it never stopped me from loving you. i allowed myself to feel because i knew you would never leave me. so why did you leave? why don’t you come back to me?”

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who has a table full of bouquets of flowers that he never gave you. Jungkook could never get rid of that annoying habit of buying you flowers whenever a day was more beautiful or a special date was approaching — it had been a constant in Jungkook’s life to offer you several bouquets of flowers. there was always love in the bright colors of the flowers, a little understanding in some branches, complete fascination in the various leaves and all the flowers, all the bouquets, contained much more than Jungkook’s love. the bouquets had hope blossoming between the many petals; hope for a repeated past, hope for an altered present, hope for a future with you. but, no matter how colorful the bouquets were, no matter how bright the flowers were, they all had the same fate when bought by Jungkook; without any support or water, Jungkook just placed the bouquets on the table, looking at them with regret, hating himself a little for having succumbed to that habit of his that was only born with you. and the bouquets piled up. and Jungkook didn’t throw away the bouquets. there, on that table adorned with the destruction of his love, lay all of Jungkook’s devotion, a withered devotion that had no one as the object of its desires. “today i bought you a bouquet again. i just wanted to tell you that i bought your favorite flowers. they will always be here waiting for you. please, come and get them when you can.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who feels his heart break every time he hears news about you. it was as if every word about you was loaded with sharp daggers that stabbed heavily into Jungkook’s heart and made him bleed tears of longing and hurt. hearing any information about you destroyed Jungkook. you got your promotion? you didn’t celebrate with him. you adopted a new cat? you didn’t ask Jungkook for name suggestions. you were okay? how could you be okay if Jungkook felt smaller and smaller, breaking into insignificant fragments that scattered wherever Jungkook passed in hopes of finding you and clinging to you? how could you be happy when Jungkook counted all the stars at night in hopes of one of them granting his wish for you to return to him? each piece of news burned hotter than the next, Jungkook’s small, fragile heart turning to paper, burning with the flames of insignificance and neglect — so much news about you and none about how much you missed Jungkook. “i heard you finally managed to buy the house you wanted. it’s still strange to imagine you in a house different than mine, but i want you to know that i’m really happy for you.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who swears his lips were dry with all the words he didn’t get to say to you. Jungkook couldn’t remember the last time he felt like his lips were his — since the beginning of time it was clear that Jungkook’s sweet lips belonged to you; every word Jungkook said was adorned with your smiles and sweet laughs; every song Jungkook recited was framed with your beauty and essence; all the kisses Jungkook gave you were star-lit, all the constellations creating stories about you. for years, Jungkook’s lips belonged to you — now that you were gone, you’ve stopped taking care of them. your negligence appeared in rough form on Jungkook’s lips, no amount of lip balm being able to replace the lack you did to them. slowly, Jungkook’s lips were forgetting about you, getting rid of the skin you once touched, pushing with it all the words Jungkook liked to have said to you. “i love you and i want a life with you. i don’t think i can handle a life without you by my side. please stay.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who stops sleeping because he can’t bear to dream about anything other than you. between sleepless nights and random dreams, Jungkook always chose to spend his nights sitting on the couch with the television on, his eyes staring but his mind running through memories and scenarios of when those restless nights were shared with you. how could Jungkook dream about anything if he only wanted you? he didn’t have any control over his dreams — he wanted to dream about you, but Jungkook knew he didn’t control his mind and he preferred to forbid his brain from creating any comfort for his heart rather than live experiences not worth living, just because there was no you.

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who burns all the memories he has with you in the hope of being able to forget you. all the photos that had a touch of your magic were deleted from his cell phone, but not before printing them and throwing them in the fire; all the letters you exchanged with Jungkook when he traveled the world were thrown into the fire without a second thought; all the tickets to the movies you went were consumed by the hot flames of a fire of revolt and devastation. standing in front of the fire, seeing his entire life reduced to the same ashes that dusted his heart, Jungkook was static, no emotion behind his eyes glazed over in the fire; seeing the flames dancing, consuming everything he was, Jungkook could onl—

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who stopped loving all the details about himself that made you fall in love with him — if you had stopped loving Jungkook, why would he love himself?

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Coffee Stain | jjk

☆summary: you grief, and it's the expression of your everlasting love for Jungkook.

☆pairings: Jungkook x reader

☆rating: 18+ (it deals with heavy themes)

☆genre: grief!au, angst

☆warnings: this is a grief!au so it's rough. jungkook died and reader tries to grieve him. lucid dream where she sees him and talks to him again, curses, a lot of crying

☆word count: 1.9k

☆a/n: this hurts. idk why i wrote it. i was sad watching a sad instagram reel and then this happened. i apologize, and i love y'all, and if you need to talk just reach out <3 i'm always here for you guys.

☆☆☆☆☆

            There’s been a coffee stain on the kitchen counter for weeks.

Staring at it, you can almost hear the laughter it brought forth then. A laughter of crinkling doe eyes, of a bunny grin and arms wrapping around your middle. It’s a hand clutching around your heart, like it used to clutch around your fingers.

It’s the ghost of bodies entwined that weren’t meant to be separated.

In the bathroom, his towel has started to smell like humidity instead of the body wash he used, the one he claimed was good for his hair too. A 3-in-1 combo thing, something you used to tease him constantly about. And though the smell is a sign that you need to clean the towel, you can’t bring yourself to do the laundry.

In fact, you can’t bring yourself to do any chores. You just let Bam out three times a day, and then you go back to bed. Back to a cold bed that was supposed to be an island of you and him.

Now it’s an island of your grief, of tear-stained pillows and sorrow-filled sheets.

The sun rises and sets every day, but time has stopped. Time stopped on a surprised rainy day when he didn’t come home.

And he’ll never come home again.

It burns. It burns like the pizza you put in the oven, thinking that maybe you’d eat for the first time in weeks. The smoke pricks your eyes, suffocates your lungs. You hope it’ll steal your breath like his breath was stolen, too.

A last exhale, one you weren’t there to share.

You open the windows to air the room, and late spring flows in. Chirping birds and a soft breeze surround you, and you feel sick to your stomach. Because he won’t experience any other season. His life ended on a rainy April day, forever altering yours in the process.

Bam watches you from where he’s lying down by the door, still waiting for him to come home. Indeed, he’d used to come home around this time every day, to whisk you in his arms and tell you he loves you. But not that day.

No, that day, you sat on the couch watching the raindrops chasing themselves on the window, your phone clutched in your hand because he’d been supposed to be home an hour ago. When the phone rang bringing the news, your life became quiet.

It’s been quiet since then.

Your friends come over in the evening, with food you try to eat. You remember evenings that you’d spend with them and him, laughing and playing games and doing everything that young people do.

Young people aren’t supposed to die. Or so you tell yourself as you follow the conversation, but never participate, like maybe he left with your voice too. Your friends don’t complain about it – they know how much he meant to you, how much you meant to him, too.

You wonder what he’d say if he were here tonight, and you think you wouldn’t be able to hear it. Not when you haven’t been able to listen to his last voice message again, even though it sits on your phone, a keepsake of your love gone too soon.

When your friends leave, they hug you tight, though it’s never as tight as he used to hold you. Because he was the only one to know how to hold your pieces together and tonight, like every night since then, they fall apart. They fall apart like dandelions in the wind, so easily blown away.

You go to bed, Bam with you, staring up at the ceiling, imagining that it is his body next to yours. That it is his soft snores you can hear, his gentle breaths dragging you to sleep hours after you lied down.

You wake up feeling different. The light shines differently, like it’s from another world. The apartment smells of bacon and coffee, and you furrow your brows. The bed is empty, yet warmth lingers in the sheets next to you.

You step out of bed, tiptoe on a floor that you know to be usually cold in the morning, yet today it’s warm. You’re wearing an oversized white t-shirt he usually wears, and you feel like you’re forgetting something, yet you can’t quite tell what.

You walk out of the bedroom, and Bam greets you like he always does in the morning after his walk, with his tag wagging so wildly it’s making his whole body shake from side to side. You laugh, petting him as he tries to jump on you so that he can lick your face, though he eventually abandons to trot to the kitchen instead.

You follow behind him, smiling at the sight of his naked back, as he cooks something on the stove.

“You woke up just in time,” he tells you, shooting you a quick glance over his shoulder.

His eyes are sad. A sorrow deeper than the ocean hides in his pupils, and you’d frown if you hadn’t missed him so much.

“What are you making?” you ask.

He motions to a bowl on the counter. “Pancakes. And bacon and coffee, too.” He glances at you again, like maybe you disappeared while he was looking at the pan on the stove. “You can pour yourself a cup of coffee while I get everything ready.”

You nod, smiling softly, before doing so, grabbing your favourite mug from the cupboard. You frown – wasn’t there supposed to be a chip in it? Yet the mug looks pristine, entirely new. You shrug it off, and then you pour the coffee, before pouring one for him too. You set them on the table and sit in your usual spot, looking out the window.

The sky outside is purple and bright, and you think you can see constellations dusting it.

You know. You’ve known since you woke up, but you don’t care.

You watch him as he finishes cooking, and then he carries the food over to the table. He sits next to you, in his favourite spot because he gets to see you and the TV at the same time. The TV is not on right now, and his attention is solely on you, like he’s drinking you in like you’ve been drinking him in.

“How did you sleep?” he asks.

His eyes are infinitely sad. It’s startling, and you can’t bear the weight they hold. So you focus on your food, while he sits there watching you.

“I slept okay,” you reply. “You?”

He chuckles. “I slept too much.” He sighs, and it’s heavier than the universe. “I’m always sleeping lately.”

You laugh, because what else are you supposed to do?

“You’re awake now,” you tease, and you pat his arm.

His skin is soft and warm, void of any scars.

“Only because you’re here,” he replies, and he smiles again as you meet his doe eyes. “Now eat.”

You obey, enjoying the taste of his food – he’s always made the best pancakes, and today is no different. You even think they’re better, though you reckon that would be impossible.

“You should make pancakes more often,” you say when you’re done eating. “I can’t remember the last time you made them.”

He chuckles, eyes crinkling at the corners, yet the depths remain eternally sorrowful. “I’ll make them again soon.”

You smile, pausing to admire him for a few seconds before you ask, “Should we go back to bed?”

“We’re not Sunday,” he teases.

You narrow your eyes. “It can be Sunday just this once.”

His giggles accompany you as he grabs your hand and pulls you to the bedroom, and soon you’re in bed again, laughing as he tickles you.

“Fuck, I missed your laugh,” he says, and you pout.

“I missed you,” you answer.

He nods, and the sadness invades all his features. “I know.” Bam appears, jumping on the bed to lie next to you while Jungkook kneels between your legs, hands still resting on your sides. “You’ve been taking good care of Bam?”

“Yes,” you say. “We’ve been taking a lot of walks.”

He grins like the sadness was never there, and then he turns towards the dog. “Aren’t you lucky?”

Bam rolls on his back as Jungkook starts petting him, and soon he’s rubbing the dog’s belly, cooing like he’s talking to a baby. It’s adorable, and you admire the view even though it hurts so deeply you think you might be dying.

When he’s done with the dog, he looks at you again, a soft smile gracing his lips. “What have you been up to?”

You sigh, and you pull on his arm until he’s lying with his head on your chest. “Nothing.”

“That sounds boring,” he teases, and you think you feel his tears wetting the shirt you’re wearing, though you don’t mention it.

“Hey, I’m just doing my best,” you reply, pinching his side.

He laughs. “I know.”

“How long until you have to go?” you ask.

He sighs, and he glances at the time on the night table. “Not long.”

You rub a hand on his back, your arms tightening around him. He looks up at you, and you meet his gaze, hoping to find an eternity in them.

“I wish you could stay,” you whisper.

“Me too.”

He kisses you then, his feather soft lips meeting yours for a short embrace of the love you share. Your heart settles in your chest, your ache momentarily forgotten, and you wish to get lost in him. Wish to stay here with him forever, but he inevitably pulls away from the kiss, looking over his shoulder.

“It’s time to go,” he says.

You nod, because you know. You feel it too, and so you force yourself to get up. He quickly puts a shirt on, and then you follow him to the door.

“Text me when you get to work?” you tell him, eyes filled with tears.

“I will.” He meets your gaze, his own eyes lined with silver. “Please be safe.”

You chuckle. “You be safe.”

“Always,” he says. He opens the door, looking outside, but he doesn’t move for a while.

“Should we hang out again soon?” you ask, hoping that it’ll make him stay.

He looks back at you. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

You nod, and he takes a step outside. He’s fading out of focus, yet you try to hold onto it, to keep him here with you. It’s like it works – he turns back around, and then rushes to you, wrapping his arm around your waist as he hides his face in your neck. But you’re losing him again – already, the apartment has faded away, and all that’s left is the purple sky with its infinity of stars.

“I love you,” you whisper as he, too, fades away.

In the vast expanse of nothing, you think you hear him saying it back. You reach for him, and you think you can see him again, see his smile, though he’s just a little too far for you to touch.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come home.”

You wake, the bleak light from the sun filtering through the blinds, and the sky proves to be the blue of sorrow again. Grief, the expression of your everlasting love, sits on your chest, and you can’t breathe.

“I love you,” you whisper through the pain, and you mean it, more than you’ve ever meant anything before.

After all, there’s been a coffee stain on the kitchen counter for weeks.

☆☆☆☆☆

if you need to talk please reach out, and also don't hesitate to scream at me for this bc idk wtf it is

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate

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EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who still has your pillow on his bed, just because it smells like you. no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi swore that particles of your essence were still reveling in that white pillow; no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi swore he still felt you every night, when his thoughts were more violent and his heart asked for comfort, asked for you; no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi would never wash that pillow, fearing that the memories of you would drown in the sea of neglect that covered the entire space outside the bed, outside of Yoongi’s safe haven. yes, no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi would never be able to forget how your soul smelled like home. “i carry with me the weight of the longing you left behind. part of me wants to believe that it’s all just a dream. but when the moon is high and my thoughts suffocate me, it’s your comfort that i miss. it’s you that i miss.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who looks for you in every crowd. he knew he was just hurting himself, but Yoongi couldn’t stop his eyes from taking in each face closely, hoping to see your sweet smile on them, hoping to see your bright eyes on them, hoping to see you in the middle of them. without noticing, Yoongi always found himself in the middle of crowds, those places he always avoided and preferred to see from afar; but now, when your departure squeezed Yoongi’s heart and the longing for you guided Yoongi’s steps, he always ended up in the middle of the crowds, wanting, waiting, begging, to see you one last time. “your existence haunts me. the ghost of our memories wanders among the crowds, seeking from them the love they know only you can give. it’s a game without any victories.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who goes back to the places where he kissed you to relive the memories. the days were grey, painted in tones of melancholy, and Yoongi could only feel his heart sink. it was there that he kissed you for the first time, your shy smile was still stuck on the small park bench; it was in front of that tree that Yoongi said the first i love you to you, your nervous laugh still echoed through the tree’s branches; it was in front of that window that you stole a kiss that tasted like caramel, he could still see his rosy cheeks in the immaculate glass of the store. the entire city was a map of Yoongi’s happiest moments; in every corner, in every nook, in every neighborhood lived fragments of your soul and the memory of you covered every street with a permanent veil of pure guilt, regret, longing, love. “it is in these places that the beauty of your soul still endures. and it was in those places that i kissed you and loved you and swore to always love you. and i will always love you.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who spends sleepless nights wondering where he went wrong. had Yoongi forgotten any important dates? no. your birthday was celebrated with laughter, the smiles from your anniversary still painted works of art in Yoongi’s heart. would his work have interfered in any way with your life together? no. Yoongi no longer spent nights in the studio. Yoongi had already stopped locking himself in his office when he was at home. Yoongi had renounced his art, his passion, to be able to love you. but, was that Yoongi’s mistake? did he love you too much? was Yoongi’s love so big, so intense, so suffocating, that it only gave you one way out? a way out of his life? “tell me if my devotion was the cause of my destruction. i ask you. please, tell me where i went wrong so i can love you again. tell me what i didn’t do so i can have your love again.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who can’t look in the mirror without seeing you next to him. it was a constant agony that stepped and beat in Yoongi’s heart, squeezing tightly all the love he still felt, sharply attacking all the longing he had. and Yoongi only had to look in the mirror to feel it, to see it. there you were. always smiling, your hand gently holding Yoongi’s hand, your eyes locked on him. entire years were spent living next to you, living with you. entire days were spent in a weightless sea of pure love and fascination. and now, looking in the mirror, Yoongi felt empty, he felt incomplete. now, looking in the mirror, Yoongi’s heart manufactured a memory of you, cruelly reminding him that what was next to Yoongi was just the hope that still made his heart beat.

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who is slowly isolating himself. the crowds stopped hiding your face in them; the streets cleared every step you had walked; Yoongi’s house expelled all your essence without his permission. and now, lost in the middle of nowhere, without finding any hope in his sheets, in your pillow, Yoongi just sat on the floor and stayed there. still. the longing of you was the only thing that still made him live, still made him exist. every step Yoongi had taken, led him to that exact moment, to that point wh—

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who can’t say the word love again — for, without you being in his life, what meaning did that word have?

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hopeless hearts

summary: you never understood the gravity of your position as an intern working Kcon until you fall for one of your favorite idols, Jeon Jungkook—quite literally too.

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

genre: idol/fan au, strangers to lovers au | fluff 

warnings: the slowest of slow burns <3, mushy mushy fluff <3 

word count: 17k

a/n: inspired by a job application a friend sent to me. sentences in italics are the characters speaking korean! 

.

Sometimes you think you have a lot of mixed feelings when it comes to your job.

On one hand, it’s a pretty incredible opportunity, one that you acknowledge not a lot of people get to experience first hand: which is working as an intern in the event operations department for Kcon—the annual Korean convention in which big Kpop groups will travel around the world to bring their music and their joy to the international fanbase. For someone who never actually had the means and the ability to make the trip as an audience member of your own accord, it’s fascinating to witness the back-the-scenes sight of how much effort and how much time goes into planning and organizing an event of this scale.

And because Kcon it in of itself is half a convention and half a concert, there were always many people needed to cover the different subsections of the event, which is where your role as an intern came into play. Given that there were two interns in the department of organizing the physicality of the event, you were put on the team mainly in charge of organizing the convention while the other intern assisted with scheduling of the talents and making sure the performances would go by smoothly.

But on the other end of that spectrum, working with vendors really allows you to see how many people handle responsibility and deadlines and it makes you want to pull the hair out of your roots. You like to think of yourself as a fairly reasonable person, giving a vendor 24 hours to respond to emails at the latest before having to resort to more emails and phone call—but this is absolutely ridiculous.

Keep reading

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🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

raven unit I (m) jjk

Jeon Jungkook x Reader

‒ raven unit. (m) chapter one: gallaticus. ✎  [13k words]

genre: political!Au, taskforce!Au, warcrime!Au

warnings: eventual smut, angst, gore, violence, drug mentions, alcohol mention, graphic description of violence, death.  With your life at risk and several people around you dead, your loyal head of security makes sure your safety is taken care of when he’s out of the picture. Three ruthless, dangerous and deadly men take on the task to protect and hide you, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok and the one in command, Jeon Jungkook.  masterlist. chapter two. So, I would just like to mention I neglected my duties to write the requests sent my way because my good friend @diofulin​ had me thinking of this idea and when I knew it I had written 25k words and was looking at a small series. For what it’s worth, I hope you like it. Comment, reblog and I’ll be posting the nest chapter around Wednesday. 

Keep reading

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