EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK Who Knows His Mistake Was Falling In Love With You, But Would Do It Again If You

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who knows his mistake was falling in love with you, but would do it again if you gave him a second chance. and it was just a second chance that he asked, that he begged. let Jungkook make the same mistakes. let Jungkook learn from his mistakes. let Jungkook love one more time so he can stop being in love with you. Jungkook was full of devotion, an ocean of pure love ran inside him desperately looking for a beach where he could delight and calm all the turmoil that existed inside him. just one more time. just one more kiss. just one more touch. just another chance was all Jungkook asked for because, even though his downfall was rooted in his devotion, Jungkook knew nothing more than loving you. it was a reality for Jungkook for years, an eternal life, and it was all he knew — let him live his life once again, that was all Jungkook asked for. “i should have seen this ending coming for myself, but it never stopped me from loving you. i allowed myself to feel because i knew you would never leave me. so why did you leave? why don’t you come back to me?”

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who has a table full of bouquets of flowers that he never gave you. Jungkook could never get rid of that annoying habit of buying you flowers whenever a day was more beautiful or a special date was approaching — it had been a constant in Jungkook’s life to offer you several bouquets of flowers. there was always love in the bright colors of the flowers, a little understanding in some branches, complete fascination in the various leaves and all the flowers, all the bouquets, contained much more than Jungkook’s love. the bouquets had hope blossoming between the many petals; hope for a repeated past, hope for an altered present, hope for a future with you. but, no matter how colorful the bouquets were, no matter how bright the flowers were, they all had the same fate when bought by Jungkook; without any support or water, Jungkook just placed the bouquets on the table, looking at them with regret, hating himself a little for having succumbed to that habit of his that was only born with you. and the bouquets piled up. and Jungkook didn’t throw away the bouquets. there, on that table adorned with the destruction of his love, lay all of Jungkook’s devotion, a withered devotion that had no one as the object of its desires. “today i bought you a bouquet again. i just wanted to tell you that i bought your favorite flowers. they will always be here waiting for you. please, come and get them when you can.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who feels his heart break every time he hears news about you. it was as if every word about you was loaded with sharp daggers that stabbed heavily into Jungkook’s heart and made him bleed tears of longing and hurt. hearing any information about you destroyed Jungkook. you got your promotion? you didn’t celebrate with him. you adopted a new cat? you didn’t ask Jungkook for name suggestions. you were okay? how could you be okay if Jungkook felt smaller and smaller, breaking into insignificant fragments that scattered wherever Jungkook passed in hopes of finding you and clinging to you? how could you be happy when Jungkook counted all the stars at night in hopes of one of them granting his wish for you to return to him? each piece of news burned hotter than the next, Jungkook’s small, fragile heart turning to paper, burning with the flames of insignificance and neglect — so much news about you and none about how much you missed Jungkook. “i heard you finally managed to buy the house you wanted. it’s still strange to imagine you in a house different than mine, but i want you to know that i’m really happy for you.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who swears his lips were dry with all the words he didn’t get to say to you. Jungkook couldn’t remember the last time he felt like his lips were his — since the beginning of time it was clear that Jungkook’s sweet lips belonged to you; every word Jungkook said was adorned with your smiles and sweet laughs; every song Jungkook recited was framed with your beauty and essence; all the kisses Jungkook gave you were star-lit, all the constellations creating stories about you. for years, Jungkook’s lips belonged to you — now that you were gone, you’ve stopped taking care of them. your negligence appeared in rough form on Jungkook’s lips, no amount of lip balm being able to replace the lack you did to them. slowly, Jungkook’s lips were forgetting about you, getting rid of the skin you once touched, pushing with it all the words Jungkook liked to have said to you. “i love you and i want a life with you. i don’t think i can handle a life without you by my side. please stay.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who stops sleeping because he can’t bear to dream about anything other than you. between sleepless nights and random dreams, Jungkook always chose to spend his nights sitting on the couch with the television on, his eyes staring but his mind running through memories and scenarios of when those restless nights were shared with you. how could Jungkook dream about anything if he only wanted you? he didn’t have any control over his dreams — he wanted to dream about you, but Jungkook knew he didn’t control his mind and he preferred to forbid his brain from creating any comfort for his heart rather than live experiences not worth living, just because there was no you.

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who burns all the memories he has with you in the hope of being able to forget you. all the photos that had a touch of your magic were deleted from his cell phone, but not before printing them and throwing them in the fire; all the letters you exchanged with Jungkook when he traveled the world were thrown into the fire without a second thought; all the tickets to the movies you went were consumed by the hot flames of a fire of revolt and devastation. standing in front of the fire, seeing his entire life reduced to the same ashes that dusted his heart, Jungkook was static, no emotion behind his eyes glazed over in the fire; seeing the flames dancing, consuming everything he was, Jungkook could onl—

EX-BOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK who stopped loving all the details about himself that made you fall in love with him — if you had stopped loving Jungkook, why would he love himself?

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who still has your pillow on his bed, just because it smells like you. no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi swore that particles of your essence were still reveling in that white pillow; no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi swore he still felt you every night, when his thoughts were more violent and his heart asked for comfort, asked for you; no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi would never wash that pillow, fearing that the memories of you would drown in the sea of neglect that covered the entire space outside the bed, outside of Yoongi’s safe haven. yes, no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi would never be able to forget how your soul smelled like home. “i carry with me the weight of the longing you left behind. part of me wants to believe that it’s all just a dream. but when the moon is high and my thoughts suffocate me, it’s your comfort that i miss. it’s you that i miss.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who looks for you in every crowd. he knew he was just hurting himself, but Yoongi couldn’t stop his eyes from taking in each face closely, hoping to see your sweet smile on them, hoping to see your bright eyes on them, hoping to see you in the middle of them. without noticing, Yoongi always found himself in the middle of crowds, those places he always avoided and preferred to see from afar; but now, when your departure squeezed Yoongi’s heart and the longing for you guided Yoongi’s steps, he always ended up in the middle of the crowds, wanting, waiting, begging, to see you one last time. “your existence haunts me. the ghost of our memories wanders among the crowds, seeking from them the love they know only you can give. it’s a game without any victories.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who goes back to the places where he kissed you to relive the memories. the days were grey, painted in tones of melancholy, and Yoongi could only feel his heart sink. it was there that he kissed you for the first time, your shy smile was still stuck on the small park bench; it was in front of that tree that Yoongi said the first i love you to you, your nervous laugh still echoed through the tree’s branches; it was in front of that window that you stole a kiss that tasted like caramel, he could still see his rosy cheeks in the immaculate glass of the store. the entire city was a map of Yoongi’s happiest moments; in every corner, in every nook, in every neighborhood lived fragments of your soul and the memory of you covered every street with a permanent veil of pure guilt, regret, longing, love. “it is in these places that the beauty of your soul still endures. and it was in those places that i kissed you and loved you and swore to always love you. and i will always love you.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who spends sleepless nights wondering where he went wrong. had Yoongi forgotten any important dates? no. your birthday was celebrated with laughter, the smiles from your anniversary still painted works of art in Yoongi’s heart. would his work have interfered in any way with your life together? no. Yoongi no longer spent nights in the studio. Yoongi had already stopped locking himself in his office when he was at home. Yoongi had renounced his art, his passion, to be able to love you. but, was that Yoongi’s mistake? did he love you too much? was Yoongi’s love so big, so intense, so suffocating, that it only gave you one way out? a way out of his life? “tell me if my devotion was the cause of my destruction. i ask you. please, tell me where i went wrong so i can love you again. tell me what i didn’t do so i can have your love again.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who can’t look in the mirror without seeing you next to him. it was a constant agony that stepped and beat in Yoongi’s heart, squeezing tightly all the love he still felt, sharply attacking all the longing he had. and Yoongi only had to look in the mirror to feel it, to see it. there you were. always smiling, your hand gently holding Yoongi’s hand, your eyes locked on him. entire years were spent living next to you, living with you. entire days were spent in a weightless sea of pure love and fascination. and now, looking in the mirror, Yoongi felt empty, he felt incomplete. now, looking in the mirror, Yoongi’s heart manufactured a memory of you, cruelly reminding him that what was next to Yoongi was just the hope that still made his heart beat.

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who is slowly isolating himself. the crowds stopped hiding your face in them; the streets cleared every step you had walked; Yoongi’s house expelled all your essence without his permission. and now, lost in the middle of nowhere, without finding any hope in his sheets, in your pillow, Yoongi just sat on the floor and stayed there. still. the longing of you was the only thing that still made him live, still made him exist. every step Yoongi had taken, led him to that exact moment, to that point wh—

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who can’t say the word love again — for, without you being in his life, what meaning did that word have?

---

“you drew stars around my scars”

pairing: experimented on! jungkook x experimented on! reader

powers au!, childhood besties au!, patients au!

genre: angst, fluff, sfw

wc: 5.9k

synopsis: meeting jungkook was like gazing up at the brightest star in the sky as you lay helpless on the cold ground in the dark night. you both found comfort in one another. you healed each other as you suffered through painful experiments together. the pain was bearable, with him by your side. whenever he was around, your smiles were brighter, your shoulders were lighter, and all your worries just seemed to disappear in an instant. good things don’t last though. you learned that the hard way.

OR

jungkook and y/n meet in the hospital both trying to be cured of their ‘disease’ (they have powers :O) and form memories along the way <3

tw: experiments on human (not detailed though), scars, gun

*inspired by ‘cardigan’ by taylor swift: “you drew stars around my scars” pls listen to it while u read this 🥹🥹(A/N: GONNA BE FIGHTING HARD FOR TICKETS TO ERAS TOUR THIS WEEK SO I WROTE THIS HOPING TO MANIFEST SOME TICKETS😭🙏🙏)

——

13 june, 2005

You monitored the pale, white room around you. White bed. White cupboard. White walls. You sighed in frustration. Your rainbow obsessed 7 year old brain screamed at you to add some colour to the walls. Note to self: Bring crayons to colour walls next time.

“Please…I will take care of her… don’t do this…”

Hearing the small familiar voice of your mother, your eyes lit up, and you climbed onto your white bed, propping your elbows onto the tiny window frame in the small room, peeking your small head out as you stared curiously into the other room. Your mother talking to a man in a white coat. They were having a serious conversation, and your mother seemed like she was about to cry. Why is mommy crying? Is she hurt? You thought to yourself, immediately jumping off the bed and running to the room next door to find your mother and comfort her.

The moment you entered the room your mother was in, you noticed she instantly wiped her tears away, trying to hide her tears from you.

“Hey sweetie, you like the room?” She plastered a smile on her face as she looked endearingly at you.

“It was alright. It could have more colour though. Next time I should bring my crayons and draw Bibi on it!” You let out a huge smile at the thought of Bibi, showing off your missing front tooth. Bibi was your imaginary friend. Picture a golden retriever, but covered in rainbows. Making friends were not exactly your specialty. For some reason, everyone called you a freak and did not want to talk to you, all because you were able to move things with your mind. And so you found comfort in your imaginary friend Bibi instead. He was the only one who understood you.

“Hey sweetheart, you’ll be staying here for a while, ok? It’s to make you better. Don’t worry, mommy will come back to visit when I can.” You could tell your mother was holding back her tears. It was the same face she made when daddy screamed at her and left us, or when she received a call that grandma died.

“W-why can’t mommy stay with me?” You felt tears brimming at your eyes as a sinking feeling appeared in your heart. You could feel that something bad was happening.

“Y/n, you are a danger to your mother. You need to stay here to get better-“ The doctor in the coat was cut off as I screamed out loud.

“NO! I WANT MY MOMMY! IM NOT GOING TO STAY HERE!” Your tears were overwhelming you as more people stomped into the room, grabbing your mother’s arms as she tried to grab you into her embrace. She had released her tears by now, sobbing uncontrollably. The people who stomped into the room grabbed her arms harshly, dragging her away from me and out of the door.

You felt your arms being pulled back by the doctor as you tried reaching out for your mother. You let out a frustrated scream, as your emotions ran rampage. The room around you started to shake and you unintentionally slammed everyone in the room against the hard wall — including your mother. Everyone except you fell hard to the ground as they hit the wall, all groaning in pain. You looked at your mother apologetically, then looked at your own hands in disgust. What have I done?

Your mother looks at you with one last glance, glossy eyes as she mouths to you ‘It’s ok, i love you’ The security people, as if unphased from the hit, immediately got up, containing their job as they dragged your mother forcefully out of the room. You didn’t dare to stop them. Not after what you did. You knew you were a monster.

“Do you see now, y/n? You’re a danger to everyone. If you want to be fixed, you will do the wise choice of cooperating with us so you can see your mother again.” The doctor got up slowly, looking at you with a cunning smile.

You gulped. You were scared. So, so scared and lonely. But you knew you had to do this. You had to get better. You had to make your mom proud. So you bravely nodded, agreeing to stay at the facility to get help.

—

2006

You never saw your mother again after that incident. You were unsure if she chose not to see you again because she thought you were a monster or if she was not allowed to visit you, but you sure hoped it was the latter.

You grew accustomed to the lifestyle. Everyday, your morning would be filled with ‘recreational activities’ like playing chess, but having to move the pieces with your mind, or doing basic commands with your powers that the doctors made you do. Afternoons were the worst. They would strap you into the terrifying pink chair in the ‘rainbow room’ and conduct experiments on your brain. For a room called ‘rainbow room’, it was certainly not full of rainbows. You would have to sit through hours of excruciating pain as the voices in your head overwhelmed you. There were so many needles, blood. But there was nothing you could do. None of the doctors cared for you. You had no one.

As time passed, you started getting used to the lifestyle. The food wasn’t bad, you had a chef that would make what you wanted, and servants that would get you what want. The only issue was the loneliness. You realised you were the only patient at the facility. Nobody ever talked to you. The guards, doctors and servants were not allowed to form a relationship with you. You had no one to talk to — except Bibi. But you knew Bibi wasn’t real. You weren’t a kid anymore - you had matured quickly from having to face the bitter reality. Bibi was merely your coping mechanism from the horrors of your daily life.

That was until he came along.

On 13 June, 2006, Jeon Jungkook, a 9 year old boy, was admitted into your facility exactly a year after your admittance. You were excited when you heard the news. You would finally have someone to talk to, someone to share your pain and to hang out with — a friend. Sadly, you did not hit it off as well as you expected it to. Jungkook was a shy, frightened boy, slightly shorter than you, eyes red and puffy probably from the amount of times he cried after being separated from his family. You felt for him. You were in the exact same situation as him a year ago, and you understood that he needed some private time to heal himself. He was definitely not in the mood for making friends. So you kept your distance for a while, not wanting to seem too desperate.

Until the night of his first experience in the ‘rainbow room’. You laid on your bed, reading the same book for the thousandth time as you sighed in boredom. Until you heard a sniffle in the hallway.

Curious, you stepped out of your room, not shocked to see Jungkook crouching into a little ball in the hallway outside his room, crying quietly. You could see the deep scars left on his left arm, the same ones you get daily from the experiments. You crouch down beside him softly, hesitantly patting his back as you tried to comfort him wordlessly. At first, he looked tense and uncomfortable at your touch, but he slowly eased into it as he saw the same scars on your arms. You inched closer to him, giving him a warm embrace as you cried together with him.

After that night, the two of you became closer. He realised that you were just like him. That he was not alone in his painful journey. And so started your friendship with Jungkook.

You soon realised Jungkook was more than a shy, frightened boy. He could be playful and kind at times, and he quickly became your close friend — more like only friend.

He painted your bleak childhood colourful with memories and fun moments. The two of you would make inside jokes about the staff there, laughing at how they always wore the same clothes and probably didn’t wash them, and joke over stupid things like whose powers were stronger or who was taller.

Yet despite all the jokes, the two of you placed deep trust in one another, comforting each other when the experiments got too harsh and painful, convincing each other that it would end some day. Mornings and afternoons of playfulness and fun ended in late nights of cuddling and crying together. This lifestyle became a norm for the two of you. But still it was tolerable, because you had each other.

—

2010

“Y/n, look what I found!” Jungkook ran into your room with a big, smug toothy grin on his face, hiding something behind his back.

“Did you finally find out where your room actually is? Because I’m starting to think you don’t know that since you’re always in my room.” You rolled your eyes playfully as you pretended not to be interested in what he actually brought.

His smile faltered for a second, processing your words, before he faked an angry frown, and pounced onto your bed that you were laying on, tickling you as revenge.

“Ok stop,” you giggled, “I was just kidding, tell me what you brought.” He finally stopped tickling you, pulling something from under his shirt behind his back, as he excitedly presented it to you.

You jaw dropped in shock as you immediately snatched it from his hand, staring at it in disbelief.

“That’s right! A full set of rainbow coloured crayons just for you!” Jungkook beamed with pride.

It was only the previous night that you admitted your obsession with rainbows to him, telling him stories about Bibi, and sharing about how you wished you could colour your room walls. You’ve been begging the workers for some sort of colour since you’ve arrived, but they never met your requests, saying that it was too “childish”. You couldn’t help but wonder how Jungkook managed to get it.

“I bet Bibi could have never gotten this for you, it just proved I’m a much better friend than him!”

You laughed at Jungkook’s statement. After telling him about Bibi, he had been so jealous that you had another friend other than him, even though you repeatedly told him numerous times that Bibi was an imaginary friend. However, you didn’t admit that you hadn’t talked to Bibi in a long time since you’d made friends with Jungkook. That would make his pride swell too much.

“How did you get it? The workers never ever let me get anything like this!” You were still in disbelief.

“Well, doctor choi has been wanting to do the new form of experiment on me since a few weeks back, and he said he would reward me with anything I wanted if I did it! So since I’m the bravest and coolest person ever, I did it today!” Jungkook said with a smug smile.

You frowned when you heard what he said. For the past few weeks, Jungkook had opposed greatly to doing the new format of experiments, since it was on a much larger scale than the previous experiments we had done. Our previous experiments usually ended in scars on our arms, but this new experiment was performed on the whole body. Jungkook had protested against it, because he was too afraid of needles. He had always been less receptive to pain than you. But why did he suddenly agree to do it today?

You looked down on Jungkook’s body, noticing new scars that were on his legs. He quickly tried covering them, saying, “It’s no big deal! It wasn’t even painful!”

You knew it had to be painful. The size of the scarring were just much larger than the usual. You pouted in guilt, hugging Jungkook tightly, “You didn’t have to do that! I bet it hurt so bad!”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to do something for you after all you’ve done for me…” He looked at you, face blushing slightly from your close proximity.

That night, the two of you didn’t sleep, colouring the plain walls with the crayons until dawn broke.

“Pfff. What is that supposed to be?” Jungkook muffled his laughter when he turned to see what you were drawing.

Frowning, you exclaimed, “It’s the galaxy! These are all the planets and all my beautiful stars!”

“Those are supposed to be stars?! They’re so ugly!” Jungkook joked with you.

You threw one of the crayons in his face, ignoring his comments. You didn’t care how ugly your drawing was, you loved seeing the sky and stars shining. Especially the stars. Stars were your favourite thing. Before you came here, you and your mother went stargazing every week, staring into the beautiful sky. Even though you probably would never be able to see them again since you weren’t allowed out of the building, you still held on to the hope that maybe one day you could have that chance again.

You stared at your galaxy for a while before turning over to Jungkook’s side to see what he was drawing.

You were shocked to realise that he was a much better artist than you. You inched closer to his side, smiling when you realised what he drew. A portrait of you and him together, on a lush green field, staring up into a sky full of stars. Although you never told him directly about your love for stars, you realised he must have guessed it from all the times you talked about them and tried drawing them. Your felt your heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of Jungkook being so attentive to your likes.

Your eyes trailed down to below the beautiful drawing to see a small writing below.

‘Y/n and Jungkook together forever!’

—

2015

As the years ticked by quickly, Jungkook started growing from a boy into a man. Once he hit puberty, he shot up like a tree and grew muscles. His featured became more defined and he grew out of his baby fat. You noticed that as Jungkook turned into a teenager, he had also turned more rebellious towards the workers, always unwilling to follow through their instructions and ending up getting punished. Yet he still stayed kind and sweet towards you, acting like the same 10 year old boy when he’s around you.

“One more time and we will not tolerate this anymore! You got it?”

Hearing the faint voice of doctor choi, you quietly get up from your bed and run to your door, peeking out softly, looking in the hallway.

Doctor Choi stood outside of Jungkook’s room in anger, scolding him. You could barely see Jungkook from your angle, only seeing half of his body.

“Ya, ya whatever. I won’t do it again.” Jungkook rolled his eyes and then slammed the door in Doctor Choi’s face, resulting in Doctor Choi stomping away in anger.

When you were sure Doctor Choi was out of sight, you quietly tip toed to Jungkook’s room, knocking on his door impatiently.

“What more do you want? I-“ Jungkook opened the door, annoyed.

When he saw you, he paused and his eyes softened.

“What did you do again? I was so worried when I couldn’t find you this morning! You have to start being more careful! These people have power over our entire lives! You can’t just act recklessly like this!” You immediately pushed past him and entered his room, sitting on his bed, as you looked at him angrily.

He carried a childishly guilty look, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“I didn’t do anything bad! I just kind of sneaked out…”

“What!?? You tried sneaking out again?? Are you crazy? You could get into serious trouble-“

“I didn’t try, I did sneak out. I succeeded.” He said with a smug smirk on his face.

You paused your words in shock.

“Wait what? You sneaked out? Whats outside? Did you see the sky? How did you sneak out?” You bombarded him with questions.

He chickled slightly, sitting beside you in the bed.

“Chill, it’s mostly just greenery. But I found a really nice spot. I’ll take you there tonight.” He smiled gently at you.

You don’t know why you agreed with Jungkook’s ridiculous rebellious plan, but the thought of even a chance of being able to see the night sky again was just too tempting.

So now you and Jungkook were currently hiding in the vents, waiting for the right time to sneak out when nobody was looking. You sat rolled up in a circle beside Jungkook who looked noticeably more uncomfortable than you due to his size. The two of you were inches away from each other and you could feel your face heating up at the close proximity.

“This is really uncomfortable.” You muttered in the awkwardness.

He chuckled stating that it would be worth it.

Sure enough, he was right, as he usually was. When the workers were not looking, he quickly dragged you out of the vent as the two of you ran as quickly and quietly as you could to the spot he was talking about.

“Don’t open your eyes!” Jungkook placed his large hands over your eyes excitedly as he led you quietly to the spot.

You followed him blindly, placing your trust in him.

“OK! Open your eyes now!” You could hear the smile in his voice, excitedly opening your eyes.

When you peeled your eyes open, you stayed silent, in awe at the view you saw. The sky was pitch black, but the bright stars around twinkled in the dark. You felt like crying. You’ve been longing for this view for years. And now that you could see it in real life you didn’t know how to feel.

“I-It’s not the best view but I thought you would like it.” Jungkook said with a shy smile.

“It’s beautiful, Jungkook! I love it so much.” You were on the verge of tears, throwing yourself onto him as you embraced him tightly in gratitude.

You could feel him sigh in relief, hugging you back just as tightly.

“I’m glad you love it.”

The two of you sat on the field in silence, staring at the sky in awe. From your peripheral view, you noticed that Jungkook was looking at you the whole time.

“You should take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You joked with him as you turned to him momentarily.

“I really wish I could.” He replied.

You kept quietly, not expecting that response. The two of you stayed quiet for a while before you broke the silence.

“My mom used to bring me out to star gaze every week… I miss her so much.”

Jungkook looked at you in slight shock, not knowing how to reply. Though the two of you shared everything with each other, parents were not a topic you commonly discussed as it was pretty sensitive.

As silence engulfed the two of you again, you asked Jungkook, “Do you want a family when you grow up?”

“Yes, but only with the woman I love.” He stared intensely at you.

You looked back into his eyes, not knowing how to reply.

“Y/n, you are the one I lo-“

You cut him off quickly, pressing your finger onto his lips.

“Please don’t, I don’t think I can handle that.” You say apologetically, “I don’t deserve to be loved. My scars, they’re too ugly. I- I’m ugly. I don’t deserve love.” Your tears fumbled your words.

Jungkook’s eyebrows fumbled, his strong arms grabbing your arms gently, relentlessly pulling it towards him even as you tried your best to pull it away. He gently looked at your scars, rubbing onto them as he pulled them to his lips and kissed them gently.

“They’re beautiful y/n, everything about you is beautiful.”

Your tears started pouring as Jungkook looked at you with so much love and affection, kissing your ugly scars with so much care as if they were the most beautiful thing in the world.

“No they’re not, I can’t even look at them. It hurts, Jungkook. I hate everything about myself.” You leaned your head on his shoulders as you cried harder.

Jungkook hesitated for a moment, before grabbing something out from his pocket.

You almost laughed amidst your tears when you saw what he took out. A pink crayon. You remember giving that to him because you refused to use that colour in your drawings, stating that you hated that colour. (mostly because it was the colour of the chair in the rainbow room) As years passed and your crayons were used up, you never knew he had kept that crayon until this day, keeping it in his pocket like that.

You kept quiet as you watched him curiously. He grabbed your arms gently, drawing cute little stars around them.

“Look, now your arm is a cute little galaxy. It’s even more beautiful than the sky up there.” He smiled gently at you.

Looking at your arm now, you chuckled slightly as it did slightly resemble the universe above you. Jungkook used his fingers to wipe away the tears below your eyes.

“Since I kissed your scars, don’t you think you should kiss mine too?” He smirked.

You laughed, tears dissipating as you bent down and kissed the scars on his arm as well. You grabbed the pink crayon, drawing stars around his scars as well. You frowned when you realise his little universe didn’t look nearly as nice as yours.

“Wow you’re trying to make my scars uglier with your ugly stars.” He teased you.

This time, instead of throwing the crayon into his faces, you smiled endearingly as you leaned your head onto his chest, savouring as much as you could of this sweet moment.

“Jungkook… sorry for cutting you off just now. In fact, I-I actually love-“

Just as you were about to confess, you were suddenly interrupted.

“Jeon Jungkook! I told you no more sneaking out! This is it! You will be punished! Grab her!”

You felt yourself being pulled away from Jungkook’s side as two strong men grabbed both sides of your arms.

“Let go of me!” You tried pushing yourself off and using your powers but you were too weak after the experiments this week.

“Stop! Let go of her now!”

You’ve never seen Jungkook this mad before. Jungkook used his powers, twisting the heads of the two men holding you, making them crumble on the floor with blood gushing out of their eyes. You looked at Jungkook in shock.

Before you could run away, more men appeared, grabbing you once again, other men grabbing onto Jungkook.

At this point, you were a sobbing mess and the both of you were unable to escape since Jungkook’s powers were too weak from attacking the two men.

Jungkook was fuming, struggling in the grip of the two men, as he repeatedly shouted, “Don’t hurt her! Please! Let her go!”

You could feel yourself getting weaker as the men holding you placed a device onto your arm, draining your energy.

“This is your punishment, Jungkook. You’ll never see her again.”

That was the last thing you heard before you blacked out.

——

2016

You barely saw Jungkook again after that. They moved his room into another wing, and held his experiments elsewhere. You were back to 2005, lonely and depressed.

The only times you heard of Jungkook were through overhearing gossips from the workers.

“He caused a ruckus again, asking to see y/n. “

Your heart ached, longing to see him once again as well, and also concerned that he would be punished for being uncooperative.

You started focusing more on following the doctor’s instructions, with the hope that you could rid of your powers quickly so you could be released together with Jungkook. You were starting to see hope, everyday your powers were slightly diminishing and becoming weaker as you focused diligently during your experiments. Although as your powers grew weaker, you noticed you were becoming weaker as well. You’d lost a bit of weight and strength. But that didn’t falter you. You were too determined on losing your powers and escaping the facility.

Every morning, you would wake up to the fading drawing of you and Jungkook together watching the sky, bringing you back to the memory of that cursed night. Nights ended with you daydreaming on what could have been if you guys weren’t separated. You just wished you could have seen him one more time.

You didn’t know that your wish would have came true so soon.

It was 2am at night. You were lying on your bed, staring at the stars you had drawn on your ceiling with the crayons Jungkook gave years back. When someone entered your room quietly.

“Y/n, I have no time to explain. You have to come with me now.”

You looked up, shocked at the familiar voice. Sure enough, it was Jungkook in the flesh. He had an anxious look on his face, as if he was in a rush.

“W-what? How?” You didn’t know how to react after seeing him for the first time in so long. He looked the same from the last time you met him, except he grew buffer and more handsome. You looked at his arms, realising he still had pink stars that looked like the ones you drew around his scars. You assumed that he had traced over the stars when they started to fade so that they would stay intact. You let out a small smile at that.

He grabbed your wrist tightly, dragging you out of your room in a rush as he kept looking around for workers. You were still in a state of shock, unable to say a word as you followed him. When he was sure no one was in the hallway, he dragged you into the janitors room, closing the door.

He turned to you, glossy eyes looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered in his life.

“I missed you so much.”

“Me too.”

The two of you stood in silence for a few seconds until Jungkook remembered why he came to find you.

“Look, y/n, we have a chance to escape. No, we need to escape. I found out something about the facility here. They have no plans to actually cure us, they can’t. They plan to have us stay here forever, to contain us and weaken us so we can’t escape. They’re afraid of us, y/n. And they can kill us at any time. They couldn’t kill us previously because the government did not allow it with the public watching. But with time passing, I overheard them saying that the public is forgetting and the government gave them the green light to kill us anytime we prove we’re a threat. We need to go, y/n.”

You knew this time it wasn’t a joke. Jungkook had never put on such a serious face before, and you could only nod at whatever he was saying. It was weird, the way you trusted him so easily. But he was the only person in your life who ever truly understood you and supported you. Maybe that was why you agreed to easily to whatever he said.

“W-when do we leave?” Your mind was still confused at how fast things were escalating. A moment ago you were just about to fall asleep, and now you were about to escape from the only place you’ve been in for the past few years of your life.

“Now.”

You followed him quietly as the two of you entered the vent you’d once been in. Memories of that horrible day came into your mind, but you pushed them away. Despite having an inkling that something about his plan could go wrong, you tried ignoring that thought, hoping it would be a success and that the two of you could actually leave together.

The two of you crawled through the vent, going a different route from the previous time. When he stopped abruptly, you stopped as well, waiting for his instructions. Looking down from the vent through the tiny holes, you realised you were above the main entrance of the building, the same entrance you and your mother had walked through the first time you entered.

You held your breath at the memory of that day. You hadn’t seen this door since that day in 2005 since it was always blocked off by guards and lots of protection. You felt heartbeat increase, maybe there really was hope at an escape.

“Ok on my signal you follow me and jump down, alright?” Jungkook turned around to look at you as he whispered. You nodded determinedly in response.

When Jungkook mouthed the word ‘now’ to you, he kicked off an opening on the vent and jumped down onto the floor as you followed along. As you jumped down, you stumbled slightly, but Jungkook caught you, steadying you with his arms.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” The guards, who had been on break took notice of us and ran after us from a few meters away.

“Run!”

Jungkook grabbed your arm tightly, pulling you along with him as the two of you ran for your lives out of the building.

As you ran, you started panicking as all you could see around you were greenery. But then hope came again when you could see a town with people and buildings in the far distance. There was a chance the two of you could make it.

You ran harder, locking hands with Jungkook as you both ran towards the town.

Bang!

The sound of the gunshot resonated through the forest. You didn’t feel any pain. But that made you feel worse. Because you knew it was Jungkook that had been shot.

“Shit…” Jungkook groaned in pain as he grabbed onto his stomach, blood gushing out.

Despite the pain, he didn’t give up, dragging you to a blind spot in the forest behind a tree where no one could see the two of you.

You placed him gently on the floor as tears flowed down your eyes uncontrollably.

“No…no, please…” You muttered as you tried putting pressure on the wound.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Go. Go without me.” He said with little energy.

“No! No… I’m not leaving you here.” At this point you could barely see anything, everything blurred from your tears.

“You have to go now y/n… please… I love you so much…” He said with tears.

“Sorry, y/n, I didn’t want to show you my new power this way, but I have no choice.” He said weakly.

You were confused for a moment, until he grabbed onto your arm and said, “You will run as fast as you can to the town there and not look back once. And you will never ever return to this place.”

Instantaneously after his command, your legs stood up without your will and ran towards the town.

“W-wait! Jungkook! I love you! Stop this now! Please! I’m begging you!”

Your words were no use, your legs following Jungkook’s command as you couldn’t even look back to give a final glance at him.

When you reached the town, you broke down on the street immediately, wanting to run back to help him, but you physically couldn’t.

2018

Healing was hard. Especially without Jungkook. But eventually you moved on, like you always do. After escaping, you found a small job as a cashier at a convenience store, becoming close friends with the old grandma who owned the store. Your income was not a lot, but it was enough for three meals a day and rent for a small apartment. You went on that way for about 2 years, until realising you were too lonely and needed a new companion. And so you adopted an 8 year old golden retriever who had previously been used for animal testing. The moment you saw the scars on his frail little body, you broke down and sobbed at the adoption drive in front of dozens of people. You knew at that moment that he was yours. You named him Jeon Bibi.

—

13 June, 2020

“Jeon Bibi! The park is this way, where are you bringing me to?” You chuckled at your dog’s cute behaviour as he excitedly dragged you away to the opposite direction of the park you usually walked to.

“Ok, ok you’re the boss, i’ll follow you.” You smile affectionally at him as you trail behind him, curious to find out where he was bringing you to.

When Bibi came to an abrupt stop, you realised that he stopped behind the tall silhouette of a man’s back. You looked up curiously at the man, wondering why Bibi brought you to him. The man whipped around when he felt Bibi sniffing his hands.

You felt your breath hitch as the familiar man turned around, staring deeply into your eyes. For a moment, time stopped. Your eyes turned glossy as years of memories flashed passed your mind in an instant, the walls you’ve built around your heart demolishing in a split second. Your eyes trailed from his slightly longer, curlier black hair down to his large brown doe eyes, and to his pink lips, adorning a new lip piercing. You brought your eyes down to his body, noticing he became even buffer and taller. Then your eyes reached his arms and you felt your heart stop, looking at the scars that you once rubbed, kissed, newly decorated by familiar stars that were now permanently inked onto his skin.

He seemed equally shocked as he stared at you, tears brimming his widened eyes.

You both didn’t move an inch, staring into each other’s eyes. You were the first to break the silence.

“I thought you said my stars were ugly.”

He broke into laughter amidst his tears at the fact that that was your first comment after meeting him. You could feel your heart squeeze at his laughter. God, you missed him so, so much. You found yourself laughing along to his contagious laughter. For a moment, it felt like the two of you were 10 again, laughing without any worries.

“Y/n, everything about you is beautiful, even your ugly stars.” He ceased his laughter, small smile on his face as he looked at you intensely, years of memories hidden behind those eyes.

He paused for a second, hesitating before confessing.

“Y/n, I love yo-“

Before he could finish, you cut him off by taking a step closer to him and smashing your lips against his. He instantly melted into the kiss, grabbing you tightly, scared you would be separated again. You hugged him back tighter, reassuring him that the two of you would stay together forever.

After all, he was your star, your salvation, the one who made you love your scars, the one taught you acceptance and love, the one who made living worth it.

A/N: I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Ifeel so attached to them i cant do this rn i’m so sad. if u don’t understand the last part basically he REMEMBERED THE SHAPE OF HER STARS AND GOT A TATTOO OF THEM EVEN THOUGH HE HATES NEEDLES OK 😭😭😭😭ok but actually this piece was a bit of a rush since i wanted to quickly post it before my great war so it may be a bit incomplete at parts ANYWAYS PRAY FOR MY GREAT TICKETING WAR TMR🙏🙏THANKS LOVELIES FOR READING and do give comments if u can because i love reading feedback <3

---

BROKEN FUTURE

PAIRING: jungkook x reader

GENRE: college students, angst

TAGS/WARNINGS: established relationship, pregnancy, arguing, logic vs feelings, blood, heavy angst, minor character death, talks of abortion, uncensored profanities

WORD COUNT: 9k (excl. synopsis)

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦!

𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗡𝗢 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗠 𝗢𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡

SYNOPSIS;

You and Jungkook were the epitome of young romance ever since the early days of high school, with dreams of a shared future that included graduation, exciting careers, and a life filled with love and adventure. Your bond was unbreakable, or so you believed.

𐚁₊⊹

You stumbled backwards, your legs weak and unsteady, and your back collided with the cold surface of the wardrobe. A gasp escaped from your mouth, sharp and involuntary, as the reality of the situation struck you with full force.

You blinked rapidly, hoping that your vision was somehow deceiving you, that the line would fade or vanish altogether.

But it remained, bold and certain.

“No, this can’t be happening, not now” you kept chanting to yourself.

You paced back and forth in your room as tears streamed down your face, marked by sobs that echoed through the confined space of the thin walled apartment that you shared with your boyfriend. Your heart was pounding against your chest like a trapped bird desperately seeking escape, and your tear-streaked face betrayed your inner ruckus as you tightly clutched the small white stick in your trembling hands.

A positive pregnancy test.

The longer you stared at it the more breathless and disoriented you felt.

You remembered laughing and dismissing what your friends, Hana and Mina, had to say about your stomach protruding more than it usually was. But now, the two distinct lines displayed upon its surface confirmed your greatest fear. It scared you how much of a blunt reminder it was of the life-altering consequences that awaited you.

The room, once a haven of comfort, now felt like a suffocating prison, closing in on you from all sides. Louder and audible sobs escaped your lips, intermingling with short gasps for air, as panic consumed your thoughts.

The weight of the situation bore down on you, colliding with your dreams and aspirations. You had invested countless hours into your education, many sleepless nights, and gave your everything to strive to become a nurse. You didn't want it all to go to waste.

How would Jungkook react? What would he say?

Jungkook wasn’t just any college student; he was ambitious, dedicated, and entirely focused on his dream of becoming a lawyer so he could build the future you both planned together. He had worked tirelessly since his early days, excelling in every class, every extracurricular, all with the singular goal of being accepted at a top law firm. You remembered the long nights he spent studying, the countless sacrifices he made to stay on top of his game.

You didn’t want to ruin what he worked so hard for.

But the problem didn’t just end there.

What would your parents say?

You were the only child, the apple of their eye. They had worked tirelessly and sacrificed so much to provide you with the best opportunities. Your mind flooded with images of your parents’ faces — the pride in their eyes when you were accepted into your dream college, the joy in their voices during frequent phone calls, and the unshakeable support they had always shown you.

They had high hopes of you making them proud, often reminding you of the bright future they envisioned for you. They trusted you to be miles away from them, pursuing your dream with their hard earned money.

But now?

What do you tell them now? You were barely 21.

Your heartache intensified with every step you took, your feet echoing in the silence of the room. “What do I do?” you cried to yourself as you sat on the bed, bouncing your legs up and down.

Just as despair threatened to overwhelm you, the front door creaked open, and a familiar voice echoed through the hallway.

“Babe, I’m home!” you heard.

Jungkook returned home after a long day of classes at the university, and he stepped into the apartment expecting a quiet and peaceful evening. However, as he switched on the main lights, he heard the sound of soft cries coming from the bedroom.

“Babe?” he called out once again, his brows furrowed in confusion as he took his shoes off.

Hearing no response, he made his way towards the bedroom. There he saw you sitting on the bed with your face buried in your hands. Your tear-streaked face and trembling shoulders immediately sent alarm bells ringing in his mind. Concerned, he dropped his backpack and speed walked over to your side.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked, taking your hands away from your face. Instead of answering, you threw yourself into his embrace and wrapped your arms around his neck, breaking down even more.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Come on, tell me” he asked, his voice soft and filled with genuine worry.

“I…I think w-we messed up Jungkook” you cried in between your sobs.

“What do you mean?” he frowned, pulling away and looking at you confusingly.

You looked up at him with your red puffy eyes, filled with a mixture of defeat and anxiety. It took you a moment to find your voice, but you had to tell him. Breathing out a shaky sigh, you revealed to him the white stick that displayed two red lines on it. Your voice quivered as you uttered the words he never expected to hear.

“I'm pregnant” you finally muttered out, your voice barely above a whisper as you felt yourself choke up with overwhelming emotions.

Jungkook’s eyes widened, and his initial shock soon transformed into a mixture of fear and uncertainty.

“W-What?” he stuttered as he shifted his gaze from the pregnancy kit to you. A wave of emotions crashed over him, and his mind spun with conflicting thoughts.

“That day…you didn’t use a condom, a-and I forgot to take the morning after pill” you then said, adding to his fear.

There was a long uncomfortable silence, and you saw the way Jungkook’s gentle gaze shifted into sheer panic and disbelief. “Are you serious?” he asked, his voice shaky and unstable. And you simply nod, sobs continuing to escape from your mouth.

“Fuck! This can’t be happening” he abruptly stood up, startling you. You eyed him anxiously, his breaths became shallow and he began pacing around the room as he ran his fingers through his brown locks.

You and Jungkook had dreams of your own which you were both set on achieving to live up to the future you both planned. And the idea of a baby entering the equation threatened to disrupt everything you both had worked for, and he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the weight of responsibility that accompanied parenthood.

“I’m scared, Koo, I never wanted this to happen” you whimpered, “I don’t know what to do” you bit down on your nails.

“Abortion. Y-You need to get an abortion” Jungkook blurted out without thinking twice, stopping in his tracks and turning to you.

You felt your entire world stop, his words hitting you like a physical blow. The thought never crossed your mind, but now having to be confronted by it, it made you feel sick to your stomach. It felt too cruel to you.

You looked at him in disbelief, “are you serious?” you asked as you stood up.

“Does it look like I’m joking to you Y/n? I don’t want my, and our, future to be ruined by a drunken mistake we’ve made” he said, taking a few steps towards you.

“But it’s our baby Jungkook, we can’t kill something we both created” you argued, feeling more tears flood down your cheeks.

“So then what the fuck do you want me to do Y/n? Stay and raise the kid with you?” he raised his voice.

“I’ve been studying so hard and spent so many sleepless nights wanting to become a lawyer, and I’m almost there. I don’t want to have it all going down the drain over a child I don’t even want” he spat.

“And you think I do? I’m all the way on the other side of the country, Jungkook. I made a promise to my parents to work hard and make them proud. I’ve been working just as hard as you. Do you think I want to throw it all away too?” you cried.

Jungkook let out a deep frustrated groan as he pulled onto his hair, “then what do you want to do Y/n? If you’re going to keep the baby, you know it’s going to ruin both of our futures, and none of us want that” he tried to explain.

But you lightly shook your head as you sat back down on the bed, “but I can’t kill it either. I just can't, it’s our baby” you cried, hugging yourself around your womb.

However, as you expressed your decision to keep the baby, Jungkook’s anger erupted like a dormant volcano finally reaching its breaking point. His frustration swelled as he confronted you, his voice trembling with a mix of rage and despair.

“What are you being so damn selfish?!” he exclaimed, causing you to flinch.

“You fucking know this is not the right time! We're both in university, away from our homes and barely making ends meet. How can you even think about going through with this knowing it’s not what we want right now?!” he raged.

Your eyes widened at his outburst, feeling your heart sink to the pit of your stomach. Tears welled up in your eyes as you fought to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm you.

It was as if it was a battle between logic and feelings. You knew he was right — bringing a child into your chaotic, uncertain world would be a huge challenge and put your hard work in jeopardy.

But you didn’t have the heart to go through an abortion. You couldn't explain it, but despite the logical reasons, doubts and the fears, you felt a deep connection to the life growing inside you.

The look in your eyes and face scared Jungkook.

You were a person of deep emotion and empathy, traits that had always guided your actions and decisions. And now, faced with the reality of an unexpected pregnancy, he could see those same traits overwhelming you to make decisions that would put all your hard work and future at risk.

He knew that you knew he was right, but he also knew that an abortion was not an easy decision for you. Everything that connected you and him, you’d protect. And the baby somewhat served as a symbol of your long and unbreakable bond.

“I know it's not an ideal situation Jungkook, but I just can't” you whimpered. The room seemed to shrink around them as their opposing perspectives clashed. Jungkook’s anger surged, fueling his words.

“Okay fine, but what about my life? What about our plans? This is going to ruin everything we've worked for Y/n. We won't be able to finish our degrees, pursue our careers, or have any stability. How can you be so selfish and inconsiderate?!-” he continued raising his voice.

“I’m not forcing you to stay!” you yelled almost instantly.

The room fell silent, the weight of your words hanging heavily between you both. Jungkook felt his slowly anger subside, and his shoulders slump in surprise and defeat as his teary eyes stared into yours.

Both of you were passionate individuals, deeply committed to your goals and aspirations to build yourselves a future you both planned ever since you were kids. But in the sudden unexpected turn of events you found yourselves at a crossroads, your paths diverging before your very eyes.

The heart that was once one was torn into two, each piece slowly drifting away from each other and into the unknown path ahead.

The silence was deafening, too loud and suffocating to speak into. And you mustered up the courage to soon break that silence.

“I said what I had to s-say…and I n-never said that you had to s-stay” you cried through your trembling voice. But who were you kidding? You and him both knew how badly you wanted him to stay.

“You’re right, this isn’t what I expected, let alone wanted, but life is full of unpredictable shit Jungkook. I’m scared of the future ahead of me, but I can never have the heart to kill a life we both created, whether you choose to stay or not” you sniffled, placing your hand over your womb.

“Y/n-” Jungkook tried to speak as he stepped forward, but you were quick to cut him off.

“I’m sorry for ruining everything we had planned, okay? But please…I can’t do this. It’s difficult for me enough” you cried.

Jungkook struggled to find words as tears began to stream down his cheeks, mirroring the anguish in his heart. In that moment, the love you both had for each other felt tested and strained under the weight of your diverging paths. You both grappled with difficult choices and the uncertainty that lay ahead. Despite the heartbreak, you had to confront your individual desires, knowing that your decisions would irrevocably shape your lives.

Without saying a word, Jungkook heaved out a deep sigh before storming out of the room. Hearing the front door slam shut, you dropped down on the ground and broke down into loud heart wrenching cries.

You felt torn. Confused. Overwhelmed. You loved Jungkook more than anything, but you couldn’t deny the connection you felt with the life blooming inside you despite your fears.

You knew that carrying this baby to term would cost you your future, your hard work and your parents’ money, but you couldn't shake the feeling that terminating the pregnancy would be an act of betrayal against yourself and your unborn child.

You yearned for Jungkook’s understanding, for him to see things from your perspective and be with you in this journey. But you knew he wasn’t ready to become a father, not when he was close to achieving his dream. And the last thing you wanted to do was ruin everything he was working for.

As you gazed out of the window, you wondered if you could find a way through this. At the same time, you questioned your own strength, your ability to raise a child against all odds.

Perhaps you could seek support from your parents, lean on their shoulders to seek guidance and stability. But you knew you couldn’t do that. They’d hate you. Perhaps they might disown you, too disappointed and ashamed to have a daughter like you.

You had Hana and Mina, but even with them, you felt as if in the end there was no one who knew you like Jungkook did. No one who could comfort you like he did. But the person who knew you the most and loved you the most was now abandoning you, and you were scared.

And deep down, you prayed he came back, telling you he would stay.

As the morning light streamed through the curtains, you slowly opened your eyes, your eyelashes weighed down by your tears. You had cried yourself to sleep, your heart heavy with emotions. The soft warmth of the bed provided a fleeting comfort, but the faint scent of Jungkook’s cologne that still lingered in the sheets and in the air brought you back to the painful reality and the memory of last night.

As you sat up on the bed, a wave of nausea washed over you, causing you to wince and clutch your stomach. You stumbled toward the bathroom, your body still plagued by waves of morning sickness. Dropping down in front of the toilet, you hunched over and began vomiting.

But it wasn't just the nausea that burdened you; it was the painful realisation that your dreams, your relationship, and your future had suddenly become entangled in a web of your overwhelming choices.

On the other hand, the front door unlocked, revealing Jungkook, looking weary and disheveled, as if he hadn't slept at all last night. As he pushed open the front door, his footsteps echoed through the quiet hallway as he stumbled in, a haunting reminder of the fracture in your relationship.

An uneasy stillness hung in the air, accompanied by the distant sound of you heaving and gagging in the bathroom. His heart clenched with guilt and conflict realising the physical toll pregnancy was already taking on you, and he knew you needed him now more than ever.

With hesitant footsteps, Jungkook made his way to the bathroom, where he found you hunched over the toilet, your face pale and your eyes looking tired. The sight tugged at his heartstrings, the realisation of the life growing within you engulfing him with conflicting emotions. He couldn't deny the love he had for you, nor the bond you both had formed over the years.

It wasn't that he didn't care for you; rather, he struggled to envision a life where he could balance his aspirations and provide care for a baby. He just wasn’t ready yet.

With a heavy sigh, Jungkook felt his firmness crumble. He couldn't ignore the sight of you, doubled over in discomfort, emptying out whatever you ate yesterday. Kneeling beside you, he reached out tentatively, his hand coming to rest on your trembling back and rubbing it in a gentle manner.

Your vomiting eventually subsided, and you slumped back, exhausted and pale. Jungkook stayed beside you, his hand never leaving your back as he kept you steady. As your breathing steadied, he wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your shoulder.

He could feel the tension in your body slowly dissipate as you leaned into him, finding comfort in his embrace. He pressed a soft kiss on your neck, the familiar touch stirring a mix of emotions within both of you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his lips brushing against your neck in another soft kiss. You nodded weakly, your eyes welling up with tears.

Yet, even as he held you, Jungkook’s mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. He felt a crushing guilt for your pain, but also a deep-seated fear of losing his dreams. He loved you, without a doubt, but the thought of sacrificing his future for a child he wasn't ready for filled him with dread.

As you turned to look at him, he saw vulnerability mixed with a flicker of hope. It was a plea for understanding and support, for unity in the face of an uncertain future. He knew at that moment that his decision would shape not only your lives but the life growing inside you.

Conflicted and divided, Jungkook realised he had a choice to make.

He could choose to run away from the responsibilities that lay ahead, escaping the challenges and embracing a life of comfort and ambition. Or he could confront his fears head-on, standing shoulder to shoulder with you, embracing the unknown together.

There was an unspoken understanding between you as you both stood looking at each other — a realisation that your paths had diverged. Deep down Jungkook knew he didn’t want to stay. He couldn’t be the partner you wanted, nor the father the baby deserved.

He knew he had hurt you with his words and what he was about to do next, he was guilty, but he couldn't stay.

You knew Jungkook for years. You could practically read him like a book, especially what his eyes displayed. And staring up at him now, and the look in his dark and tired eyes, you knew.

You knew.

You knew he wasn’t going to stay. Whatever that was happening right now, it was the least he could do to offer you some kind of comfort before he leaves you. Out of pity at least. And that was what hurt you the most.

“Jungkook-” you tried to say, but he beat you to it.

“Let’s get up first and wipe your face” he said and he stood up, and he held your arm as he helped you up to your feet.

Grabbing some tissues from the nearby tissue box, he passed them to you and you began wiping your mouth. You then tossed the tissue and flushed the toilet before you followed him out to the living room.

Your tears didn’t stop, and neither did your eyes leave his. You waited. You waited for him to say something — anything.

Jungkook’s shoulders were slumped, and he looked as though he had aged years in a single night. There were bags under his eyes, face pale and puffy as if he hadn’t slept at all. He sighed deeply and hung his head, unable to meet your gaze. He fumbled for words, the silence stretching unbearably between you.

“Y/n,” he finally managed, his voice barely more than a whisper, “I don’t know what to do. I really don’t” it then cracked.

“Baby I love you, and I never wanted to hurt you,” he said, “but I can’t do this. I can’t stay. I’m not ready to be a father just yet” his lips trembled as he spoke and tears building up in his eyes.

“I have dreamed of becoming a lawyer ever since I was in elementary school, you know that, and I have come a long way working hard towards it. And I know you tirelessly worked hard for your dream too. But this is too much Y/n. Balancing our academic life alongside parenthood, I can’t do it. I just can’t!” he gritted his teeth and pulled on his hair in frustration.

“I know I’m being selfish, but I’m scared Y/n, just as much as you are” he said, his teary eyes finally meeting yours.

“I’m scared. I don’t want to lose everything I’ve worked for, but I can’t stand the thought of losing you either” he sniffled.

Your heart shattered at his words, knowing that you were both trapped in a situation with no easy answers. Seeing him like this, so vulnerable and broken, shattered your willpower to stay strong. You had never seen him so scared, so utterly defeated. And you wanted to reach out, to comfort him, but your own fear and sadness held you back.

The weight of your predicament hung heavily in the air, and for the first time, you realised just how fragile your future had become.

There was no right or wrong solution in this. And it shattered you both completely that maybe it was best to just part ways and live with the choices you both made. No matter how badly you wanted him to stay, you knew you couldn’t let your decision on keeping the baby weigh him down. And as much as it hurt you, you knew you had to let him go.

“I…” you tried to speak but found yourself choking on your sobs. You shut your eyes tight and clenched your hands to tight fists by your sides as tears continued to flood down. You took a deep breath and fluttered your eyes open to meet his gaze again.

“Like I said, I’m not forcing you to stay Jungkook” your voice was weak and barely audible, but Jungkook could still hear you clearly. And it somewhat angered Jungkook that you were still adamant on keeping the baby knowing the consequences.

A deep frustrated groan escaped from his chapped lips as he ran his inked fingers through his messy locks.

“Y/n, it’s not like I don’t want a family with you, of course I do. I do want a baby with you one day, but just not now. We can have all the babies we want when we’re settled with our careers!” he said, his breathing fast and ragged.

He walked over to you and hastily cupped your face in his, leaning his forehead against yours as he looked down into your eyes.

“You’re the only woman I picture my life with, no one else. And I do see a future with you. I do see us with a family of our own. But this is all too early my love. We’re barely standing on your two feet right now” he tried to persuade you. You felt his hot breath fan over your quivering lips, absorbing everything he was pouring out to you.

“I know this is not easy for you. I know we created this baby. But please, please think with your head and not your heart for once” he then said. And somehow his words rubbed you the wrong way.

With the little strength you had, you shoved him back, taking him by surprise.

“Why can’t you just accept that I don’t want to get an abortion Jungkook?” you cried.

“Maybe you don’t have the heart to understand how hard it is, but I do. Whether it was a drunken mistake, we still created a life, and it’s growing inside my womb. And killing something we created? I just can’t, okay?” you slapped him with your words.

Jungkook stood stunned for a second before his features morphed into total defeat. At this point, the two of you were just going round in a circle with no end. And Jungkook didn’t see the point in trying anymore, because either way, the two of you had already made up your minds.

He didn’t know how to respond to that outburst. All he could do was stare at you silently crying. “Right…okay” it was all he said before giving you a teary glance and walking away.

You watched him walk into the bedroom, and you felt your heart sink to the pit of your stomach. Your world was slowly crumbling down and there was nothing you could do.

He wasn’t staying.

Using the walls to guide you, you staggered your way to the bedroom where you heard shuffling. You stood silently in the doorway, your heart aching as you watched Jungkook furiously stuffed his belongings into the suitcase.

The room felt heavy with tension, but none of you spoke a word. You stood there crying silently, a torrent of emotions coursed through your veins.

Jungkook, on the other hand, was aware of the presence by the door, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up. His heart was torn apart. He never wanted to be faced with such a dilemma, but his determination to fulfill his dream was much stronger.

Although you didn’t want to force him to stay, you felt yourself give in to the fear of being alone without him by your side.

And you found yourself trying once again knowing the obvious answer. As tears cascaded down your cheeks, you mustered the strength to break the silence that engulfed the room.

“Jungkook,” you whispered as you walked inside, your voice trembling with sorrow.

“I’m sure we can find a way to make this work. Together” you said Jungkook paused for a moment, his hands frozen in midair, caught between the task at hand and the plea of the woman he loved.

His eyes were filled with hurt and unspoken emotions when he looked at you. “We can't Y/n” he finally replied, his voice hoarse and tinged with regret.

“I can’t have a baby that would ruin everything I’ve worked hard for. Please try to understand” he added.

With every shirt stuffed into the suitcase, your heart sank deeper into despair. The realisation that you both were headed towards a heartbreaking separation became more tangible with every passing moment. And as he closed his suitcase, the sound of the zipper sealing your fate seemed to echo throughout the room.

You watched, your eyes following his every movement, as he picked up the suitcase and walked towards the door. The weight of your shattered dreams lingered heavily in the room, overshadowing the memories of your once-happy days.

“I hope you find the success you're searching for Jungkook, truly" you said with a small smile on your face as you followed him to the door, your words filled with a mix of sadness and hope.

Swinging his bag over his shoulders, Jungkook gave you a look of guilt and disappointment through his teary eyes. “I love you Y/n, I always will, but I’m sorry” he whispered.

Jungkook didn’t exactly know what he was sorry for; for choosing his dream over love, or for how cruel fate was. With one last glance, he picked up his suitcase and walked towards the door. You felt a lump form in your throat as the door shut behind him, the ache of loss enveloping you.

The room grew quieter, emptier, and as the door closed behind him, you knew that your relationship had entered a new chapter, one that would require your own cognition, healing, and a willingness to rebuild what had now been broken.

You were scared. The bright clear you and Jungkook had planned was now all dark and blurry. And the possibility of your parents disowning you terrified you even more.

But even though fear was following you like a shadow, you were determined to protect what was now a symbol of your lost love.

“Momma will protect you baby” you cried, caressing your abdomen.

2 YEARS AGO

──────────

Hand in hand, you and Jungkook strolled along the deserted sidewalk, your fingers interlaced as you both savored the aftertaste of the delightful dinner you just had to celebrate on you getting into your dream college — the same one Jungkook was going to go to as well.

Your footsteps echoed softly against the quiet streets, a soothing rhythm that mirrored the calmness of the night. The night air was cool and breezy, carrying the faint scent of blooming flowers from nearby gardens.

Jungkook pulled you a little closer, feeling you shiver from the gentle breeze that rustled the leaves of trees. Your lips curled up into a tender smile as you glanced at him, and he returned the smile followed by a soft peck on your forehead.

You walked in a comfortable silence for a while, the only sound being the rhythmic tap-tap of your footsteps on the pavement. Wanting to light up the mood, Jungkook gave you a light nudge and a playful look.

“Wanna hear something funny?” he asked, and you raised your brow in curiosity. He leaned in and whispered something into your ear, and seconds later, you found yourself laughing hysterically as you doubled over clutching your stomach.

Your laughter rang out into the quiet streets, earning a few curious but admiring looks from people who passed by. Your laughter was music to his ears, a symphony of joy that he cherished a lot.

“Jungkook! Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that!” you playfully elbowed him, looking at him a little surprised.

“What? It’s true though” he reasoned, giving you a shrug. Jungkook continued cracking more jokes, and your laughter continued to echo through the tranquil night.

Soon enough, you both found yourselves walking up a hill. As you reached the summit, your laughter gradually faded into silence, replaced by a shared sense of awe.

Reaching towards the edge and leaning against the rails, a deep overwhelmed sigh escaped your lips as you gazed at the scenery in front of you. The twinkling lights of the metropolis created a breathtaking view, as if the stars had descended to earth.

You and Jungkook stood there, side by side, hand in hand, each lost in your own thoughts. No words were needed as you both admired the breathtaking view.

The view felt like a canvas of dreams and aspirations, and in that moment, it felt as if the world was yours to conquer. The night had shifted from chaos to serenity, and your connection with Jungkook felt deeper than ever.

The cool breeze continued to brush against your cheeks, but now it carried a sense of calm, as if the city itself was taking a deep breath, ready for another day of challenges.

You tilted your head upwards, your gaze fixated on the starry sky above. A soft sigh escaped your lips as you admired the celestial beauty that shone light at the dim earth. Your eyes began to water, and your shoulders drooped a little, feeling a sudden heaviness weighing upon your heart.

Sensing the shift in your mood, Jungkook turned to look at you, his smile faltering as he noticed your glistening eyes.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked as he pulled you closer.

You gave him a weak nod, “yeah, I just…I miss my grandma” you answered as your voice cracked.

Jungkook felt a tug in his heart, and his hand moved up to your waist, giving it a gentle comforting massage as he leaned into place a kiss on your forehead.

“I know she’s proud watching how strong you are” he said, and his words brought comfort to your heart as you imagined her among the shining stars in the heavens above.

“I hope she is” you whispered, leaning your head against his shoulder.

You knew she was.

It had been almost three years since your grandmother had passed away, but the memories of her and all the time you’ve spent with her were still vivid and precious, engraved deeply in your heart. She was more than just a family member. She was your best friend, and your life mentor.

Growing up, you had spent countless hours at her house. Her grandmother always had a way of making everyday moments magical.

You recalled the countless hours spent in the garden with your grandmother, tending to the vibrant flowers and vegetables. She had a way of turning mundane tasks into magical experiences. She taught you the names of each plant, explaining how they thrived under different conditions, and in the process, imparted lessons about patience, hard work, and the beauty of nature.

Your grandmother’s faith in you had been a guiding light, especially during the dark days of grief and doubt. When you received your acceptance letter to nursing school, your first instinct was to rush to her house to share the news. But she was no longer there. Her chair by the fireplace was now empty, and her presence remained a cherished memory.

As you closed your eyes, you could almost hear her gentle voice, filled with warmth and affection.

“You can be anything you want to be, darling. I’ll always be proud of you no matter what. Never forget that strength is in your blood.” she would say, her eyes sparkling with confidence. “Believe in yourself, and the world will open up to you.”

You were pulled back to reality when you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. He didn’t say anything, just held you close, offering silent comfort. Feeling the love and warmth radiating from his hug, the tears you had been holding back now flowed freely.

“I miss her so much,” you whispered, your voice breaking.

“I know baby” Jungkook murmured while stroking your hair gently, tightening his embrace as he rested his chin on top of your head.

“But you know she would be so proud of you. You’ve become everything she believed you could be” he said.

His words brought a fresh wave of tears, but also a sense of peace. You knew he was right. your grandmother’s legacy lived on in you, in the way you cared for others, in your passion for nursing, and in the love you carried in your heart.

If not for yourself, you wanted to work hard and make her proud.

1 MONTH LATER

───────────

It was a cold winter morning and the air was crisp, biting at the young man's cheeks as he walked alone, lost in his thoughts. Jungkook, his breath visible in the frigid air, trudged through the frosted pathway towards his lecture. The icy wind whipped through the campus, reflecting the chill in his heart.

It felt like an eternity, but it had been a month since he had broken up with you. A decision made out of fear and a desperate need to protect his dreams. It had been a month since he last talked to you. A month since he even saw you. He had been avoiding you completely as if you didn't exist, yet he still wondered how you were doing. Part of him felt like he lost the right to, but his heart was still there in your hands.

As he made his way inside the building, his steps felt heavier than usual, burdened by everything that had happened a month ago. Every day has been a challenge for him. He barely took care of himself anymore like he used to when he lived with you.

He never wanted this to happen, for things to turn out how they were, but he was so torn between his dreams and his responsibilities.

“Jungkook!” he heard a manly voice call out for him from behind, breaking him out of his thoughts.

He stopped in his tracks and turned around, and there he saw his best friend jogging his way towards him. As he finally reached him, the short male threw his arm around Jungkook's neck as they both continued to walk.

“What's your plan after your class finishes? You only have a two hour lecture today” the boy asked.

Jungkook sighed and turned his gaze back to the front, “I don't know, just do a few grocery shopping first and head back to the dorm” he answered.

His routine ever since he moved out of your shared dorm has been the same — wake up, attend lectures and head back to the dorm to continue studying. On his days off, or if he had hours to spare, he would do a little shopping or go to the gym.

Anything to get his mind off you. But as days passed, he felt himself grow weaker and tired, maybe because of not having you by his side.

“Ehh? That's it?” the boy cringed.

“Then what do you want me to do Jimin? And besides, it's freezing cold” Jungkook sighed once again.

“Me and Taehyung are planning to head out for a karaoke night and have dinner there as well. We booked a room, so you should join us” Jimin suggested.

But Jungkook shook his head, “thanks, but I'll pass,” he told him.

Jimin's face dropped in disappointment, “come on Jungkook, loosen up. You can't keep living in the dark like this” he said.

“But what if I want to live in the dark like this?” Jungkook stopped and turned to the blond one.

Jimin stayed silent and stared at his best friend with a heavy heart. Despite Jungkook's efforts to be silent about his pain, Jimin could see through the facade, recognising the hurt and weariness in his best friend's eyes.

Jungkook gave Jimin one last look before turning around and walking away.

“Because you're guilty Jungkook,” Jimin said, loud enough for Jungkook to stop almost instantly.

Jungkook's fists clenched, and his jaw tightened, but it wasn't anger that boiled within him; it was a mix of shame, regret, and frustration. Jimin walked towards Jungkook to catch up with him, and placed his hand on his broad muscular shoulder.

“I know you're still thinking about whatever happened between you and Y/n. And I know you're still hurting thinking about her even though you're doing everything to avoid her” he began to speak.

Jungkook's heart clenched at his best friend's words. He was right.

“But you can't keep running away like this,” Jimin added, “and can I tell you something?” he then asked as he turned himself to face the weary man.

Jungkook raised his head to look at his best friend who paused for a moment as he nibbled on his bottom lip.

“You need to talk to Y/n, and I mean properly” he began, and Jimin could see how almost instantly his face fell hearing your name. The silence that followed was loud, and Jungkook could feel his heart starting to pick up its pace.

“We did, Jimin, but it didn't work out. Clearly we already knew what we’re choosing” Jungkook told him.

“I know, but just…” Jimin sighed as he trailed off.

“She's struggling a lot, Jungkook. Her friends said she's barely attending her classes anymore. But when she does, it's like they can't even recognise her anymore. I saw her yesterday and it made me worry about her even though we’re not close. She's gotten paler and thinner, and has bags under eyes like she hasn't been sleeping for days. I tried to talk to her a few times but she just didn’t want to talk, she didn’t want to talk to anyone” he explained.

Jungkook's heart sank to the pit of his stomach, and his walls around him came crumbling down.

“You and her may be on different terms about the baby, but she really needs you more than anything right now. I know all of this is sudden, and that you're not ready, but you can't run away from your responsibilities forever. Go and talk to her, you'll both figure something out, I'm sure of it” he said as he placed his hand on his best friend's shoulder.

To Jungkook, it was easier said than done. But right now, he couldn't endure the heaviness in his heart as the realisation was soon settling in him as he began to acknowledge how his actions had caused you pain. And everything Jimin had told him began to make sense. He was right, he needed to talk to you again — to see you.

Jungkook quickly blinked away the tears before they could fall, and he relaxed his clenched fists as he zoned back to reality.

“You guys aren't completely alone in this, okay? You have us, always” Jimin reassured the boy who looked like he was carrying the weight of the world. Jungkook's heart warmed at his words, and he couldn’t help but feel grateful to be surrounded with amazing people in his life.

Jungkook hoped to see you find you during the rest of the day so he could talk to you, but you were nowhere to be found. He tried to approach your two friends, Mina and Hana, but they scowled at him and walked past, ignoring him completely.

Jungkook sighed and gave up, and decided to wait until tomorrow.

THE NEXT DAY

──────────

It was another crisp winter morning, and amidst the frost-kissed streets, Jungkook clung onto his bag as he made his way to the university. His heart was heavier than yesterday and his steps were uncertain.

His thoughts were consumed by what Jimin told him yesterday. It was all he could think about. After failed attempts to get a hold of you anywhere at the campus yesterday, Jungkook hoped that he would get to see you today at least.

As he reached inside and into the hallway, he heard a loud, shrill cry that pierced the air. It came from the corridor that led to the female toilets.

Confusion and worry consumed him as he quickened his pace. But when the screams and yells began to sound familiar, he heard your name. He heard those familiar voices desperately calling for you to wake up, and in that moment his heart stopped and his fear intensified. His heart began to pound in panic, and without a second thought, he broke into a sprint.

As he reached the entrance to the female restroom, he pushed the door open, and there he saw a sight that made his heart drop. There you laid on the tiled floor, looking paler than he had ever seen you, your face blank and eyes half open.

“Oh my god! Mina, call the ambulance!” Hana yelled at Mina. Your two friends were kneeled huddling around you as they tried to get you to consciousness, but you were barely giving any response.

That's when Jungkook noticed the blood that ran down between your legs, staining your skirt and the floor beneath.

He ran towards you and pushed your friends aside, gently scooping you and cradling you in his arms. Your body was so cold that he almost flinched.

“Y/n, hey, wake up!” he gently shook your body. You were barely conscious, and he could see you trying to keep your eyes open.

“J-Jungkook?” you struggled to speak as your hand slowly made its way up to his sweater. You tried to grab hold of him but your body was too weak.

“I’m here, I-I’m right here baby” he whimpered as his hug tightened.

“W-What’s happening?” he trembled as he looked at the two panicked and crying girls.

“I-I don’t know. We were just talking a-and all of a sudden she collapsed, and now she’s b-bleeding” Mina explained.

“Jungkook,” Hana looked at him, “I-I think she might be having a miscarriage” she stammered tearfully.

“The ambulance is on its way right now” Mina said.

Time seemed to come to a stop as Jungkook felt his world crumble. It was in that moment, with his heart in his throat, that he feared the worst and hoped for the best, ready to confront the unexpected turn of events. The voices around him blurred into the background as he focused on your pale face.

“I’m sorry” he whispered as tears pooled in his eyes, “I’m so sorry” his voice cracked in the end. He wished he could turn back time, undo the pain he had caused, and be there for you in every possible way.

“O-Our baby, she’s g-going to be o-okay, right?” you stammered, trying to focus your gaze on him, but all you could see was blur. Jungkook’s chest tightened at your question, and he didn’t know how to answer, and instead just hugged you to reassure you.

A few moments later, the paramedics finally arrived. Jungkook felt his body suddenly lose its warmth as they took you from his arms and placed you on the stretcher. He silently watched you finally lose your consciousness, and the paramedics quickly rushed to place an oxygen mask over you.

“We need to get going, now” one of them urged, and with a nod from the rest, they all made their way back to the album with the stretcher.

Jungkook didn’t think twice to ditch his class and rush to his car to follow the ambulance with Mina and Hana deciding to tag along. At that moment, he didn’t care about anything. All he could do was pray for you and the baby to be safe.

As Jungkook and your two friends rushed through the corridors of the hospital, his heart violently pounded in his chest. “She’s going to be okay, right? A-And the baby?” he asked, looking at the doctor desperately.

“She’s going to be alright. But we can’t be too sure about the baby since she’s well early into her pregnancy, and bled quite a lot” the doctor answered honestly before rushing inside the emergency room, leaving the crying boy standing numb.

All he knew was that if anything happened to the baby, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

Jungkook sat himself down on the chair with his head buried in his hands, lost deep in his thoughts. That was until he heard Hana’s angry voice.

“This is all your fault!” she yelled as she marched towards him. Jungkook didn’t react or lift his head to look at her, instead, he let her say whatever she had to.

“If you weren’t such a selfish fucking coward none of this would’ve happened!” she screamed.

“Hana, calm down” Mina told her. Hana glared at him and backed away before sitting on the chair opposite him.

But she was right, he was a coward.

Time crawled by as he anxiously paced the hospital's cold floors, continuing to question his past decisions and praying for the baby to be okay. He had never felt more helpless and regretful. Every minute that passed felt like an eternity.

And finally, the same doctor emerged from the emergency room, his face a mix of exhaustion and relief. Jungkook rushed over to him, his heart filled with a mix of fear and hope.

“D-Doctor, are they okay?” he asked.

“She’s okay. She’s stable now, we managed to stop the bleeding” he began, “and miraculously the baby is okay too” he added.

Jungkook’s tensed shoulders finally relaxed as relief flooded over him.

“It seems like she collapsed because of stress and weakness. I encourage her to take some time off and stabilise her health first, because she’s at a very vulnerable stage of pregnancy — so anything can happen” the doctor explained. Jungkook nibbled down on his lip in guilt. It was all his fault.

“She’s resting, but you can go and see her” he gave him and smiled before leaving.

Jungkook turned and looked at your two friends, they gave him a look that they wanted to go first.

So he let them. And as he sat there feeling relieved that both of you were safe, he thought back to that day. He couldn't believe the situation he had created, the pressure he had put on you to get an abortion, and how close he had come to losing you both. He realised the magnitude of the situation that his fear and immaturity had created, and the innocent life he was so willing to abandon.

He couldn’t deny the connection he began to feel between his unborn baby.

Thirty minutes or so passed.

After Hana and Mina were done visiting you, Hana gave him a hard glare as she walked past him.

“If you really love her, Jungkook, you better make it right” she said, before leaving.

Jungkook clenched his jaw as he watched them leave, but then his attention went towards where your room was. He took slow and hesitant steps, and when he finally reached the room, pushed the door open. There he saw your pale and fragile form on the hospital bed. Seeing the tubes and monitors surrounding you, his heart grew heavier.

You were awake, sitting up when your back rested against the pillows. Your expression was unreadable as you blankly stared at the plain white wall in front you. The sight was a clear contrast to the vibrant girl he had once known.

“Y/n” he whispered your name as he slowly walked towards you, the sound barely audible in the quiet room.

But you heard. And before he could draw nearer, your voice pierced the silence, cutting him off sharply.

“Get out” you commanded.

Your words were like ice, sending a shiver down his spine. You didn't even glance in his direction, your eyes remaining fixed on the empty space before you. The coldness in your tone struck him, differing from the warmth he had always associated with you.

But who was he kidding? He made his choice and he knew you were going to hate him, especially after everything he had said to you. You were upset, heartbroken, and you had every right to be.

But why did it hurt so bad?

He stood there clenching his fists, paralysed by your rejection, feeling the ache of his heartache like a physical pain in his chest. Blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over, he searched desperately for something to say, some way to bridge the gap that had opened up between you.

“I’m sorry” he finally whispered.

It was all he could say. It was a pathetic attempt to reach out, to offer some sort of comfort or apology, but he knew deep down that mere words could never erase the pain he had caused.

In all honesty, deep down you knew he wasn’t entirely at fault. But you were angry. Angry at him. Angry at yourself. You were angry at the world.

You heard the rawness in his voice, the guiltiness.

But you were afraid he was going to fall in the trap of your doomed fate, and you didn’t want to ruin or burden his life any more than it already was.

“Just get out Jungkook. Go. Go live the life you want. Don’t let us hold you back” you said, finally turning around to look at him with your glossy eyes.

And as he stood there, shattered and empty, he realised that in that moment, he had lost not only you, but a piece of himself as well.

“I’m sorry Y/n” he said once more, lowering his head as he slowly broke down.

“Me too” you replied before tearing your gaze away from him. there was some silence between you both as Jungkook stared at your silently crying form.

“I love you, and I’m sorry” his voice cracked.

With a final longing gaze, he turned around and walked away with heavy footsteps. It was a matter of seconds that once he stepped his foot out of the room, he would be leaving behind the girl he loved and the life you had once dreamed of together.

When you heard the door closing with a soft click, your shoulders dropped. With a shaky sigh, you clenched your eyes shut, unable to contain the flood of emotions any longer.

You began to sob.

And each sob grew louder as seconds passed by, echoing outside the corridors. Jungkook heard the heart wrenching cries, and it took him so much to not stop and run back in to engulf you in his arms.

His eyes, filled with tears, shut tightly, as if closing them could shield him from the reality of the pain he felt. His breathing was ragged, each breath came in shallow, uneven gasps. The sobs that he tried to choke back rose uncontrollably from his chest, shuddering through his body.

He felt a raw ache in his throat, the bitter taste of the partition of your years long of love. He bit his lower lip and clenched his jaw, but the sobs broke free, escaping in rough, broken bursts the further he walked away.

Everything was over.

And despite that, you both knew deep down that a piece of your hearts would forever remain with each other.

𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗘𝗗

@𝗷𝗸𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰

©️

(insta: jeonjkfiles)

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🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

to be loved is to be seen.

pairings. idol!jungkook x reader

genres/aus. fluff, established relationship, idol!au

warnings. mentions of smoking and alcohol

masterlist

—

“i’m going to use the bathroom real quick.” you tell jungkook as you lift yourself off the couch. he’s quick to stand up with you but you lightly push him down, your index finger grazed against his skin from the buttons on his shirt being unbuttoned and exposing a bit of his chest.

you shake your head. “stay, i’ll be back.” you say while pulling one side of his shirt closed to hide the bareness. girls have been staring at him and trying to come up to him and it’s getting annoying.

his bottom lip is pushed out slightly, pouting before he lets you go alone.

jungkook watches you make it to the stairs until you disappear from his sight.

you’re thankful the bathroom wasn’t occupied and you could easily walk in, locking the door behind you.

anxious thoughts invade your mind. the five drinks you’ve had can’t even cloud your thoughts nor make you tipsy enough—curse your body for not being a lightweight.

jungkook’s friends had invited you two to a party and originally he didn’t want to go because you were with him and he wanted to be with you. but he barely gets to see his friends and it’s been awhile since he’s been out with them. it took a bit to persuade him but he gave in on the exception that you came. and you didn’t mind. you thought it would be fun. it was fun.

but his friends aren’t your friends and your social battery around strangers tends to drain fast. they’re nice people and all, but now you just want to go home.

this was your idea you know… yeah well, you’re gonna tough it out for him because he’s having a good time and you’re gonna do anything for him. good pep talk!

“__?” three soft knocks and his sudden voice makes you jump, realizing you’ve been standing in front of the sink, stuck in your head.

“hang on!” you shout out, quickly using the restroom and washing your hands before you step out to meet the boy on your mind.

his eyes find yours quickly, trying to decipher any changes in your body language or to read anything going on behind your orbs.

“you okay? you’ve been in there for awhile so i came up to check on you.” he asks with concern in his voice.

you try to smile but it comes out small. “yeah, sorry,” you opened your mouth to continue but nothing comes out.

a couple drunkenly tumbles up the stairs, heading towards you both but he’s quick to grasp onto your waist and move you both against the wall. the couple passes you and disappears into a room, slamming the door behind them.

both of you slowly turn your heads to look at each other with raised eyebrows and you burst into fits of laughter. him still holding onto you, as you two start to quiet down. the scent of his cologne and cigarettes permeated your nostrils, remembering him and his friends were outside smoking earlier. in the early stages of you two dating, the smell used to bother you, so jungkook had the notion to smoke outside shirtless so the smell doesn’t catch onto his clothes and to brush his teeth so he can kiss you easily. now you’re used to it.

suddenly, he’s gazing down upon you. “you tired?”

immediately shakes your head, “no.”

he lets out a deep breath and hums, sliding a hand into the front pocket of his jeans before throwing the other over your shoulders, pulling you closer to his side as he guides you downstairs.

“well i am. let’s go home.” he declares, his head turning left and right to find where his friends went while you just gawk at him.

but you don’t say nothing.

once you both reach his group of friends, they’re heads turn towards you both. “guys i’m feeling tired so we’re gonna head home.”

“what, already?”

“that’s cool, thanks for coming man.”

you released yourself from jungkook so they could bid their manly goodbyes, them also thanking you for coming and saying it was good to see you.

jungkook links his hand with yours as you both make your way out the building onto the streets. with your hand in his, he brings it up to his face and softly kisses the back of it three times.

you fondly stare at him before hanging your head as you watch both your pairs of feet walk in sync.

“sorry i made you leave early, i know you said you were tired because of me. i didn’t mean to force you to leave ‘cus i know you were having fun–“

he stops in his tracks and squeezes your hand. “baby, ever since i met you, the thought of being without you made me crazy. so what makes you think i’d want to be out without you?” he expresses, taking your face in the palm of his hands and pressing his lips against yours in a short kiss. “plus, being at home in bed with you honestly sounds really fucking good right now.”

a timid smile stretched onto your lips before you reached on your tippy toes to kiss him again. “i love you.”

“i love you, silly. now let’s go home. are you hungry, ‘cus im craving ramen and i might make some when we get home.”

“ramen actually sounds really good right now.”

it’s 3am as i finish this so enjoy another self indulgent jungkook brain rot :D the way ill be at an outing w family or friends having fun but then two hours pass and with the snap of fingers i go quiet and have a rbf and i’m ready to go home and be in bed💀 anyway likes & reblogs are v much appreciated !! stay safe and healthy <33

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Especially if it's Jungkook Au, all I want is to cry. Please recommend some fic that is full of angst. Noo smut, please.😭

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

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