Because Otherwise I Might Start Forgetting Things

Because Otherwise I Might Start Forgetting Things

I am going to tell you all about my mid-winter break.

Things:

     So I got into CalPoly. The crazy school I told you about earlier. Visited, it was okay, they're giving me some money but not lots, I'll think about it and hopefully I'll get in other places. Not a big story.

     Big story: I saw Jackie Choi. And by saw I mean I got to hang out with her for a day in which she showed me the awesome parts of Monterey, she talked about her touristy home while I got to be a tourist, we had delicious nutella crepes, we talked about boys, we took pictures in this weird photobooth on the wharf, we visited an actual antique shop, an antique clothing shop, and a little old bookstore, we generally freaked out over actually being in the same place at the same time, and we got to communally yell at David Krucik. Just like old times. Oh and we slept together. No but actually, seeing her being wonderful in her show and sitting next to Krucik of all people was amazing. Talking to Krucik really was a throwback, because I really had not talked to him in two and a half years, and all we had to do was mock each other and talk about CTY and watch everyone congratulate jackielove on being awesome. So that plus our sleepover that consisted of the three of us, plus two of jackie's seriously fabulous friends (one of whom we had to sneak in), made talking until three in the morning and getting up two hours later to catch a plane totally worth it. Because I realized, as David woke up to give me a sleepy and sincere hug goodbye, that "See you later" is really all I can say to CTYers. Because I will. I will see them later. So I could go hug jackielove goodbye without any real problem because it wasn't really goodbye. I'll see her again. Just like how if i managed to see David Krucik again, the same David Krucik who was more frustrating and obnoxious than maybe anyone else at CTY, and actually have a good time, I'll find a way to make sure I get to see everyone I want to. It might be soon and it might be a years from now, but it will happen. So there.

And then I got to come home and not get free movie passes but still watch the Oscars and eat chicken pot pie, which is basically the best thing ever. After people who make me happy.

KRISTEN!!

I'm sorry you had a bad day/week! We are SO CLOSE to college. We can't give up now! And those lovely feelings of being with people just as nerdy and weird and awesome as we are and learning for learning's sake will be back! Never lose hope! You are inches away from the finish line! Find some nutella, watch a bad movie/read a bad book, and take a long shower. I guarantee it will make you feel better!

Nutella and a book. You know how right you are :) Thank you dearly. I hope you're doing well. College is indeed coming and I'm excited for you to be accepted to all your magical places.

And There We Were All In One Place

and by that i mean actually i was sitting alone in my car parked at the boat launch and singing to American Pie and kind of falling apart

i don't know what's wrong with me and my mother keeps trying to have a serious what's wrong? talk. but anyways today was three more tests and suddenly being sick and five hours of rehearsal which is actually the shortest it's been all week but still miserable because people are not nice. so i was driving home, and Don McClean came on the radio just as I started crossing the bridge home to my island, and I pulled over at the boat launch.

i think it was just stress and memories and everything at once but i just kept having flashes of ctyers as we were at cty and that song and us yelling and just being together and being safe and loved and together and invincible. i miss learning for the sake of wanting to know things and not having to feel bad about it. i miss a lot, and right now everything is stressful. so i just kind of sat there crying and looking at the water and it's the first time i remember being by that bridge on my favorite spot and not being comforted, because instead i was just struck by how alone i felt. even though i know i have friends here who i love dearly and this is why i write nice things about them and i know this is miserably melodramatic of me but so be it.

kind of like how tomorrow i'm going to want to be somewhere else while we work on sets for 12 hours. but anyways. point being, it might be a while before i work my way through my posts about people. cause i gotta get my act together. this is absurd.

On Maya

So this one will definitely be read by the subject and she will probably clap her hands together in her happy aww gesture.

Ignore the fact that that is in the passive. But in all seriousness, I will say it again, Maya is the single most feminine person I know, and I mean that in the very best way possible. As she thinks she knows but actually it’s truer than she might realize, Maya is beautiful. And not just because she has high aesthetic standards for herself. But that honestly is beside the point because Maya is wonderful because of how she always cares about the emotional well being of her friends, and because she always makes a point of trying to be positive, and she is funny and smart and all the happy things that make her so fun to be around. Like, if she had a weakness, it would be caring too much. But we all can live with that. I feel bad because this probably isn’t new because I’ve told her a lot of this before, but it’s true. Oh also she sings like a baby angel. Only happy to listen to. Sidenote, why are all of my friends amazing singers? So there’s that. If there were more people like Maya the world would be a much warmer and fuzzier place.

This is not my most well written piece. Huh. Sentiment remains.

Why You Should Be Proud of Me

cause looklook i'm back to writing nice things because i no longer have 93456190874589237745146 test and i'm sitting here waiting for scene changes and someone to tell me to go home and mainly i feel incapable of doing work. so i suppose on second thought maybe not that proud. but at least a little. i am going to make this week not awful, i've decided.