Things I've Heard Environmental Science Majors Say:

things i've heard environmental science majors say:

"For the test we'll need to tell the different flavours of mayflies apart." / "Did you just say flavours?"

"It amazes me how many city kids are in this program." / "We're all desperate to get out of this city."

"I think everyone who attended all the surface water pollution lab sections should be allowed to lick one piece of glassware of their choosing. Y'know, as a treat."

"Professor, nobody goes into this major unless they like to eat dirt." / "Great, so you can talk the Students' Association into convincing the board to give me funding for my trees?"

"What're we toasting to?" / "Nitrogen pollution."

"You look frustrated. What's up?" / "I had twenty-one Leptophlebiidae in my dish. He's going to think I'm lying about how many Leptophlebiidae are in my dish."

"If you weren't raised by Wall-E, do you even belong in this class?" / "The Onceler." / "Fuck, good point."

"Dude, I spent the whole exam trying not to sink my teeth into a really, really juicy bug in my sample—" / "Cranefly?" / "...yeah."

"Well, just make sure you're not (person)'s lab partner. Last weekend's trip involved him leaving too many fish in the dirt for the professor's liking."

[exhausted chorus] "And the fish go belly-up."

"What's the major difference between east coast and west coast soils?" / "Alcoholism."

"Got any plans for the holidays?" / "Gonna go home and listen to my entire extended family call me a tree-hugging hippie." / "Aren't we all?"

I’m done w diagnoses there’s nothing wrong w me. I’m just a bit peculiar and eccentric

statement begins

Goes the same with sticks and leaves

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writing is the most insane hobby it's like,

is it easy? no

is it fast? also no

but is it fun? well,

Sometimes I think about the thread of "terms that jumpscare AO3 users" and, as an environmental scientist, I would like to contribute:

In pedology (dirt science), there's something called the Permanent Wilting Point, and I've had to watch my prof write "PWP" on the board with a straight face on numerous occasions