Kisses You Mwah Mwah Mwah "go Big Or Go Home"
kisses you mwah mwah mwah "go big or go home" <- my standards exactly (and im not talking height... well technically i am just another one-)
The worst part of it all is: you really like him. He makes you feel like you're in high school again despite the fact that he's decades past that point in his life - it's the way your heart flutters in his presence, the way he makes your cheeks heat up when he compliments you. However, this is anything but an innocent crush. You want more than the kiss on the cheek he gives you when he greets you at your doorstep, more than his hand holding yours as he helps you step in and out of the car, more than his arm around your waist as he leads you to the table.
THIS. WHOLE. PARAGRAH. GRAHHHH this perfectly sums up what its like to go on dates when you're not a minor anymore like you know what you want and it still feels like you're a kid? so wanting that is wrong but you want it and you know it should feel right but you're too scared to act on it. which leads me into:
But, at the restaurant, you decide to order a double shot of liquid courage, which is a one-way ticket to going home with Joel.
OK GIRLLLLL I SEE U... baddiessss pose for me (ass fat slim thick no tummy) love the number implications because if u think abt it, its a double shot right which is supposed to be strong and she says one way which means she's not coming back... guys a ONE WAY TICKET MEANS YOU'RE NEVER GOING BACK MEANING SHE WANTS IT TO LAST DID I JUST COOK???
He gets so far as slipping his hand up your dress, but the moment his fingers brush the gusset of your panties, you grab his wrist. "Joel—" "Yeah?" He's quick to sit up and back off completely — not exactly what you intended but you're grateful that he respects boundaries.
oh my god the respect is so amazing... like personally that would be such a green flag because being able to push away ur own desires to hear out what the s/o wants is just!! peak relationship behavior me wants...
Handjobs, blowjobs, the whole nine yards - well, really, the first three bases in the sports/sex analogy.
STOPPPP I NEVER GOT THAT ANALOGY ESP W SO MANY OF MY GUY FRIENDS PLAYING FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL LIKE I NEVER WAS INTO THAT... bc i love them <3 and also they're dumbshits so if i ever try and explain they start yapping abt innings and shit i dont really care abt <3 love ya ishanth ik ur stalking my rbs
It doesn't fit down your throat, not even close, but Joel's 50, not 20, so he knows that unlike in pornography, most women cannot deepthroat. He doesn't expect you to even attempt such a feat. Just looking into your eyes while you're on your knees for him is enough to get him there.
FUCKKKK I DONT CARE IF IT RIPS MY THROAT I WANT IT- sorry who was that?? anyways love the realisticness bc i feel like 10 inches and smol girl will not equal something very good so love how realistic this feels! always the relatable one, eh liz?
Gradually, it starts to feel better, a lot better. You start to understand why people like this so much.
... but i don't. thats why i read about it, cause the more ya know...
He doesn't know your sobs of pleasure well enough to be sure they're not ones of pain.
chat what... but that line was so smooth like ngl i would fold immediately if someone was that concerned that even during sex they were watching out for me... ermm.... ahriasdlkasdklas tweaks out
And it's not calculated dirty talk, it's just the goddamn truth.
it sure is *tips cowboy hat and gallops away on a brown horse*
"I swear you're gonna kill me with that thing," you say, gesturing to his cock, which looks not nearly as threatening when it's soft. When he lies down beside you and wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer, you think to yourself, "maybe I am dead, and this is heaven." You don’t realize you’ve said it aloud until Joel says, "I'm pretty sure we're still in Texas, baby.” "Same thing.”
the title ref?? gosh ur so smart thats so funny to me tho like imagine having ur thoughts just blurted out loud cause you cant keep them in... but ig you've already revealed yourself to that person if you've had sex with them? also "death by joel's cock; perfect way to go" an essay by jj - would you read it ik i would (im the goat)
liz liz liz... you maniacal pixie dream... you are the tofu to my vegan lovers burger (where tf did that come from tf) ilysm <3. loved this one.. will be thinking abt... for next few days... weeks... erm... hah.
everything's bigger in texas

pairing: joel x reader
tags/cws: size kink, praise kink, p in v, oral f and m receiving, virginity loss
summary: go big or go home on your first time
a/n: reader is a virgin, but is not specified to be a certain age and in my mind is only a bit younger than joel
div creds to @animatedglittergraphics-n-more
wc: 2k
tags: @vaaaaaiolet @faysslut @leonfucker3000 @withonly-sweetheart

It's embarrassing. It's the reason why you'd hesitated to even talk to Joel in the first place, fearing he might like you back, in which case, he might ask you out, and according to Cosmopolitan and the metaphorical grapevine, you would only get three dates at most before you'd have to end it. And you better not order the fucking lobster. Ever.
You get dolled up on the night you plan to bid him adieu. You'd feel horrible for wasting his time regardless, but the fact that he decides to treat you to dinner at a fancy restaurant for your third date, makes you feel even worse.
The worst part of it all is: you really like him. He makes you feel like you're in high school again despite the fact that he's decades past that point in his life - it's the way your heart flutters in his presence, the way he makes your cheeks heat up when he compliments you. However, this is anything but an innocent crush. You want more than the kiss on the cheek he gives you when he greets you at your doorstep, more than his hand holding yours as he helps you step in and out of the car, more than his arm around your waist as he leads you to the table.
You want him to fuck you.
You try to give yourself a pep talk in the mirror before he arrives, and for an extra confidence boost, you wear the singular pair of underwear in your drawer that matches the one bra that actually fits right, hoping it'll make you feel sexy. But what good is sexy if you’re not going to have sex?
But, at the restaurant, you decide to order a double shot of liquid courage, which is a one-way ticket to going home with Joel.
He drives with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh. He’s so hot that even the smallest things can get you worked up. It’s the first time in a long time that your arousal has been able to override your nerves.
You barely get your coat off before you’re pressed up against the door, and he’s kissing you with a type of hunger you’ve never felt before. You know he'll leave you with a case of stache-rash but you can't bring yourself to care.
You stumble across the room to the couch – you would’ve walked backwards into the coffee table if Joel hadn’t picked you up and carried you. You’re not even that drunk - at least, not on alcohol – just insistent on not breaking the kiss until you’re out of breath and you absolutely have to.
When his body looms over you, all you're thinking about is the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands playing with your tits, making you gasp when his thumbs brush over your nipples.
He gets so far as slipping his hand up your dress, but the moment his fingers brush the gusset of your panties, you grab his wrist.
"Joel—"
"Yeah?" He's quick to sit up and back off completely — not exactly what you intended but you're grateful that he respects boundaries.
"I should just be honest with you. I’ve never done this before, so I’m a little nervous…"
You're more than a little bit nervous, especially when you're so used to guys making up excuses to leave when they notice your hesitance after you reveal the truth, after they find out that they're not guaranteed to have you in bed that night.
Joel doesn't kick you out, not even close, he looks unfazed, and you're at a loss. The script you've planned says: end scene, but the camera is still rolling. You have to ad lib.
“That’s okay. We don’t have to do that. I’m more than satisfied just getting to kiss you. Hell, I’d be happy just to have you sit on the couch with me, not touching or anything.”
You should feel more comfortable - and in a way, it does - but the novelty of the situation still leaves you dumbfounded.
You can see the worry in his eyes gain prominence as you remain silent.
"Hey," he says quietly. "Are you okay? I promise we don't have to do anything like that. We can just hang out, watch a movie or somethin', no touching at all."
"But I want you, Joel. That's the problem. I really want you."
"I want you too, but only when you're ready."
“I am ready, just nervous since this is new to me.”
“Is this your first time doing anything… of that nature?”
"No, I’ve done some things, I just haven’t gone all the way yet."
Handjobs, blowjobs, the whole nine yards - well, really, the first three bases in the sports/sex analogy.
“Would you like to tell me about those things?”
The look in his eyes – sweet and suggestive all at once gives you a spark of confidence.
"I could tell you, but I’d rather show you," you say with a flirtatious smile.
"Only if you let me return the favor."
It takes a lot of willpower to keep yourself composed when you're face-to-dick with Joel. You feel a rush of something — lust, nerves, both? All you can think is: there's no way that is ever going to fit inside me.
It doesn't fit down your throat, not even close, but Joel's 50, not 20, so he knows that unlike in pornography, most women cannot deepthroat. He doesn't expect you to even attempt such a feat. Just looking into your eyes while you're on your knees for him is enough to get him there.
Post-orgasm, he's internally beating himself up for not using his good southern manners and pleasing his woman first. The best he can do is double his typical dedication when he goes down on you.
He doesn't need to try that hard. In what feels like mere seconds, Joel's fingers work you open, pulling an orgasm from you when he dips his head between your legs and flicks his tongue over your clit.
When he can tell you're close, he says, "I'm right here, baby. Let go for me." His lips return to your clit and with his reassurance you let yourself fall over the edge.
It's not until your fourth date that you actually make your first attempt to lose your virginity.
He makes you cum twice - once on his fingers, once on his tongue - before he even takes his cock out of his underwear.
You're tired by that time, ready to apologize and see yourself out, but then you look at him, naked and hard in front of you, and despite your exhausted body, your pussy drools (maybe your mouth too). It gives you a jolt of energy, a rush of blood down south.
Joel’s body is positioned perfectly above you, ready to give himself to you, but he waits, looks at you with admiration in his eyes but doesn’t touch you. When he does, it's his right hand on your cheek.
"Are you gonna… put it in?" you say, laughing a little – anything to break the tension.
"Just wanted to make sure you were okay first," he says with a warm smile.
"I'm more than okay," you assure him.
At your confirmation, his kisses move from your cheek to your jaw, they get rougher at your neck, your collarbone. He sucks on your tits until you whine in impatience.
You feel his breath as he huffs out a laugh into your neck between kisses. But you're more focused on the head of his cock prodding at your entrance. When Joel presses himself inside you — one inch first — you both take in a sharp breath. You're audibly wet, but there's still a stretch, a sting.
Joel sees your eyes squeezed shut and feels you tense up.
"You wanna stop?" he asks.
"No," you tell him. "Just… go slow."
He takes your hand, interlocks your fingers, before giving you another inch. For whatever reason, you hadn't expected him to be this sweet during sex, but you have no complaints.
Gradually, it starts to feel better, a lot better. You start to understand why people like this so much.
But then, you accidentally sabotage yourself when your gaze fixates on his cock going in and out of your pussy. A sense of shame falls over you when you realize he's only halfway inside you.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"It's not all the way in," you sigh.
"And that's okay, baby."
"I wanted to be able to take it all… I wanted to be good for you."
"Trust me, baby, it feels fuckin' amazing. You're squeezin' me so damn tight you're gonna make me embarrass myself."
"I can't help it."
"I know," he says, leaning down to whisper beside your ear, "and that's what makes it feel even better."
You whimper quietly - it's a flustered, needy, good noise, but still, Joel cups your cheek and holds infinite comfort within his touch as he shushes you, saying, "you're doing so good for me."
With slight shift of his hips, a change in angle, he hits that special spot inside you and you can feel the pleasure begin to build.
You moan — louder than you intended to — and it almost startles Joel, briefly takes him out of his trace. He doesn't know your sobs of pleasure well enough to be sure they're not ones of pain.
"You okay? You want me to pull out?"
"No, don't pull out. Do that again," you say, frantically grasping at him, horrified at the thought of him no longer being inside you.
"Do what again?" he says with a subtle smirk that lets you know that he knows exactly what.
"This?” he asks as he hits the same spot again and you can't tell him 'yes' when your mouth is busy with far more obscene noises, so you nod.
"Right there?" he confirms again, as he steadily thrusts in and out of you, not pushing any deeper, only meeting that special spot over and over.
It's rhetorical, and your 'uh-huh' is more than sufficient as an answer.
Pride mixes with lust and he rattles off praises, knowing he'll get your tight, wet heat to clench around him with every single word.
"You're takin' me so well, baby. You look so pretty like this," he says.
You cry out his name like it's the only word you know, over and over again.
"You're gonna make me cum if you keep sayin' my name like that, baby."
And it's not calculated dirty talk, it's just the goddamn truth.
With begging eyes and a mouthful of moans, you nod and hope your wordless gesture will convey the meaning, which is: please.
Your legs wrap around his hips and there is nothing Joel can do to hold himself back from burying himself to the hilt. There's nothing he can do to stop himself from spilling his load inside you immediately.
You swear you can feel him in your stomach, and you can see a bulge in your abdomen, and it would be fascinating if you weren't focused on clutching the sheets for dear life in an effort to save Joel from the wrath of your acrylics as you shudder through your orgasm.
You nearly lose yourself in the bliss of your high, all you know is Joel and the way he feels inside you.
When you come to, you turn to Joel and he says, "I'm proud of you," a phrase that never fails to make you melt.
You want to say "thanks" or "I love you" or any normal response one might give to that statement, but your words are already halfway out of your mouth.
"I swear you're gonna kill me with that thing," you say, gesturing to his cock, which looks not nearly as threatening when it's soft.
When he lies down beside you and wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer, you think to yourself, "maybe I am dead, and this is heaven."
You don’t realize you’ve said it aloud until Joel says, "I'm pretty sure we're still in Texas, baby.”
"Same thing.”

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OOOOOH TYSM FOR THE TAG CLAUDIA N GREY SMOOCHIN YA <3333 SO HARD

ngl this is most of the fandoms im in atm so like hehehehehe yes the last one is simon from cof i play SO many indie horror games as well. as you can tell most of these are from pinterest because my whole personality is what im watching/playing so.. yea
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VILLAINOUSLY tagged by @girlvinland to describe myself w/ 9 images that I already have saved. it really really is just dinosaurs and big pants
spreading the virus now to @sealer-of-wenkamui @heraldofcrow @upon-wings-of-black and @kayleighwhatever. if they want B)
vievve ur not slick. but i am
im very slick (a tear ran down my legs) thats so overused but like seriously i have too many assignments to be thinking abt this...ugifhgeoifraskldaskhdsald;as;ldsakld
save a horse ride a cowboy!!! my life motto!! 🤠🤠🤠🤠

Hot in the wild west 🫨
What bellakath said in Vaquero remix
How bout we go south instea-

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lowkey its the people who put barely any effort into anything, fail all their fucking classes and fucking do all this shit just to bear the success bc their parents are nice
but when i actually work for it im told no.
i swear if i could kill myself?
actually stopped giving shits moments ago so... no im just done with my whole group atp cant wait to abandon them for new people at work!!
lowkey its the people who put barely any effort into anything, fail all their fucking classes and fucking do all this shit just to bear the success bc their parents are nice
but when i actually work for it im told no.
i swear if i could kill myself?
FUCK I ALMOST FORGO5 😭
ALSO KITA UR A AESPA FAN 💍💍💍
AESPA SOLOS RELEASE TOMORROW !!!

