Wothmzn - YUMMY

she radiant on my black til i <existence>

batman and robin: year one

(Aka bruce is still learning how to say no to puppy dog eyes and choreographed dance numbers)

Jason: For the record, I'm only here for Alfred's cooking

Dick: Yes! Right out of the gate!

Jason: What?

Dick: We're playing Jason Bingo, family dinner edition

Steph: Everyone's filled their cards with Jason related scenarios, first bingo gets the last cookie

Dick: I had "Jason says he's only here for Alfred's cooking" right here at the center square

Jason: Grabs Duke's bingo sheet "Jason explains that he's late because he had crime boss business" Well what if I did? Sionis is being a bastard and I had to get some orders going and- I'll mark it off for you

Dick: I think I got the winning card here: "Jason tells us that he's allowed to be a drama queen, because he played Lady McBeth in 8th grade"

Jason: I hadn't had my grow spurt, none of the girls wanted to.

Tim: This is a fun one: "Jason never calls me by my name once".

Jason: Shouldn't have said you wanted me not to say it, Tim... bo. damnit! It just sounds wrong... I don't like this game.

Damian: As expected. "Todd objects to Todd Bingo."

Jason: Oh, fuck off

Duke: Jason drops an f-bomb! That's two!

Jason: Well, guess what, I can spoil your little game by just sitting down and saying noth-

Dick: Anyone has "Jason misses his chair?" No one?

Jason, still lying on the floor: I should've stayed dead...

Everyone: Jason makes a death joke!

have this

I need a fic where Bruce realizes this kid who shoved his way into his sidekick roll will not be leaving anytime soon, and instead of emotionally distancing himself he becomes a combination Helicopter Mom and Shotgun Dad.

☆彡

Tim: Bruce, I’m headed out to meet my friends at the mall.

Bruce: Is that Kent boy going to be there?

Tim, rolling his eyes: Yes, Kon is going. And so is Bart, and Cassie, and maybe Bernard if he can make it.

Bruce: Hnn. Do you have everything? Coat, scarf, keys, wallet, tracker, pepper spray, dagger, kryptonite shard, emergency beacon, first aid kid, fire starter, extra pair of-

Tim: Yes, Dad! I already went through the list with Alfred. I’ll be fine.

☆彡

Kon: Hello Sir! I’m here to pick up Tim!

Bruce: Follow me.

…

Bruce: Sit down.

Kon: In your study? Is Tim on the way, or…?

Bruce: I just thought you might need reminding of the fact that I have a vault downstairs full of items specifically designed to take down a Kryptonian.

Kon: Whuh?

Bruce: You should probably ask your father about the time I was slightly annoyed with him for encroaching on one of my cases.

Kon: Why are you telling me this?

Bruce: Now just imagine what would happen if someone were to hurt my darling little boy.

*door opens*

Tim: Hey Bruce, Alfie said Kon was here, have you seen him? Oh! Hey, why are you two in here??

Bruce: Oh, hey sweetheart, we were just chatting. Have a good time at the carnival!

☆彡

Dick, pouting: I don’t understand, you’re not this protective over who Jason or I date.

Bruce: Don’t be ridiculous, Jason and I may have our problems, but he would never betray me by gallivanting off with someone I disapprove of.

Dick, who covered for Jay sneaking out to visit Roy Harper just last night: Mhm yeah, sure. And you’re not worried about me?

Bruce: Chum, I’ve known who you were going to marry since you were 12 years old.

Dick: WHAT?

Bruce: I have the whole ceremony already planned. I’ve got Gotham’s best wedding planner on standby. You have a very nice house waiting for you both, 20 minutes from here. A modest 7 bedrooms on 5 acres of land.

Dick: I’m not even dating anyone?!

Bruce: I can’t wait to meet my 3 grandbabies:)