This Is The Way

This is the way

Fun game unlocked: re -deciphering my mental illness symptoms

Am I exhausted because of T? Or am I exhausted because I spent the day applying to jobs and depression is hitting different?

One of the dudes at my kung fu school is being really sweet and earnest in trying to support me about starting HRT, since I've been worried about how people will react.

(To be clear, everyone was chill and supportive when I came out as trans and changed my name three years ago But being NB, I know that there are going to be folks who are weird in a well intentioned but clueless kind of way)

Anyway, he just sent me this message and. Like. If a 50+ white guy martial artist can be like this, it gives me hope that maybe it won't always be this terrible.

The text:

Thought of you the other day watching Star Trek Voyager.

And the Vulcan IDIC.

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations

From ChatGPT:

The Vulcan IDIC, or "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations" is a concept from the Star Trek universe, specifically from the Vulcan culture. It represents the idea that the vast array of differences in the universe, whether in terms of species, philosophies, or cultures, is a source of strength and beauty. The symbol of the IDIC is a circle overlaid with a triangle, with a gemstone in the center, representing the harmony of diversity within unity.

The IDIC is a core value of Vulcan philosophy, emphasizing the value of understanding, respecting, and embracing the differences that make up the universe, rather than seeking to eliminate or homogenize them. This concept signs with the Vulcan principle of logic, as diversity is seen as a necessary component of a complete and logical understanding of the universe.

It's a hellish time to be unemployed.

"AI" has enshittified already-terrible ATS (applicant tracking system) software, making it even harder to get your resume seen by a human.

Text-generated AI spam applications means that new jobs are being posted for 2 days before being closed because they're being flooded with hundreds of fake applicants.

HALF of hiring managers admit they think it's acceptable to post fake jobs, and two fifths say they've done it in the past year.

So it's no surprise that nearly 4 months after being laid off, my job hunt is Not Going Well. And today I broke 3 digits on job applications!

My job hunt in 2022 was hellish - 127 job applications and 17 companies interviewed with to get my last job. And yet, I'd give just about anything to go back to THAT job landscape and not this enshittified nightmare fuel hellscape.

Prompt courtesy @creativepromptsforwriting with characters from Community Witch, my as-yet-unpublished queer poly romance novel (okay to RB)

Rav had left his partners looking at potential wedding dates when he ducked out to the kitchen for more coffee. When he returned, both Aspen and Nat were scowling at each other.

"What do you mean it wasn't a date?" Nat asked indignantly. "Of course it was a date!"

"It wasn't a date," Aspen insisted bullishly. "Because it happened completely by accident, and you'd never shown any interest in dating me in high school."

Nat rolled her eyes. "For fuck's sake. You're as bad as Rav sometimes."

"Not that I'm disagreeing, but in what way?" Rav asked mildly, grinning when Nat jumped and cringed guiltily.

"Not being able to pick up on blindingly obvious social cues" Nat replied.

"Insisting that words have meaning," Aspen said simultaneously.

"Whoa." Rav held up his hand and perched on the edge of the couch. "Okay. Aspen, how did this start?"

"Nat suggested seeing if one of our many anniversaries is on a Saturday, which is how we discovered that we apparently different definitions of what 'date' means."

"Aspen thinks that spending four hours walking around town, including a romantic sunset walk on the beach, doesn't constitute a date."

Rav cleared his throat, but was roundly ignored by both of his partners.

"I didn't even know you were living in Parksville!" Aspen protested. "And you said we should 'catch up', not 'do you want to go on a date'."

"Earth to Aspen, 'catching up' is code for 'date', and I was hanging off your arm and making calf eyes at you the entire night! Plus, by your own logic, getting coffee shouldn't count as a date either, even though I kissed you at the end of the night."

Aspen crossed their arms. "I asked if it was a date and you said yes, which makes it a date."

"I think--" Rav began, only to be cut off once more.

"Aha!" Nat stabbed a triumphant finger in Aspen's direction. "If retroactive date-labeling makes coffee a date, then the first one is also definitely a date."

"Please. It was, like, a half-date."

"There's no such thing as half a date!"

Aspen shrugged. "You never dated William."

"No fair." Nat pouted. "You can't play the shitty ex card."

"Maybe," Rav said loudly enough to finally get their attention. "You could accept that different people have different definitions for social constructs like dates, and that different definitions aren't automatically incorrect."

"Right." Aspen said slowly, their eyes twinkling with mischief. "Just like different chili recipes are equally valid."

When Nat's eyes blazed, Rav cut their partners off with a firm, "No. Arguments later. Date-picking now, which means picking a date that includes all three of us."

"Fine," Nat sighed.

"Thank you. Now..." Rav gestured for Aspen to lift their legs so that he could sit between Aspen and Nat, with Aspen stretching out across his lap once he'd settled. "What about our first date with the three of us?"

"Oh, sweetie," Aspen laughed. "Now you're just opening a very similar but entirely new can of worms."

Rav blinked, puzzled. "Am I?"

Nat exchanged an amused look with Aspen. "What would you say our first date was, then?"

Rav took a sip of coffee in a futile attempt to cover his ears going bright pink. "When I was over for dinner and we finally, uh... you know." Aspen and Nat exchanged another, more smug look. "Well what would you say it was, then?"

Aspen cocked their head and thought for a moment. "The first time we did dinner and a movie?" they asked Nat.

"Mm. I was thinking the play. The movie had too much friend-hangout plausible deniability."

"Oh, yeah. You're right, I can totally see that."

Rav fidgeted uncomfortably as he turned an even brighter shade of pink. "That was a date? I thought..."

Aspen and Nat were both staring at him with shit-eating grins.

"I see that I was wrong to intervene," he grumbled. "I liked you more when you were arguing with each other instead of ganging up on me."

When Rav made as if to get up, Aspen octopused themself around him, nearly spilling his coffee. "Don't be like that," they whined. "Staaaaaay. We'll be good."

Rav gave Aspen a sour look. "I highly doubt that."

"Our feelings-and-fucking-versary is actually on a Saturday, if we're still looking at next year," Nat said, looking at her phone.

"Great!" Aspen exclaimed.

"We are not calling it that." Rav realized his mistake as soon as the words had left his mouth, sighed, and course corrected. "Or rather, we're not telling wedding guests about the fucking part."

"Deal," Nat and Aspen chorused.

"Remind me why I'm marrying you again?"

Prompt #1106: IYO (19)

Imagine your OTP where both of them cannot agree on what their first date was.

Past Me, when I first realized how much my writing gave away about my anxiety, neuroses, and trauma

Now Me, leaning into it and using my writing as free therapy