Finally! A Practical Use For Boobs-and-butt Fighting!

Finally! A practical use for boobs-and-butt fighting!

Flawless Defense!

My reaction to the announcement of Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor was mainly one of disappointment. Peter Capaldi is a terrific actor, of course, but he's yet another straight white dude. And, you know, I'm sure he'll do a good job, and I'm sure I will watch and like his tenure as the Doctor. Like I said, he's a great actor.

I just feel like an opportunity has been missed to tell stories about a hero that isn't yet another straight white dude. Because our whole damn culture revolves around telling the stories of straight white dudes. How amazing would it have been to have a character like the Doctor regenerate into a form that isn't straight, white, and male? SO AMAZING.

(And yes I know that Helen Mirren doesn't want to play the Doctor. It doesn't change the fact that she's amazing and would have been amazing. Also, who does sad eyes better than Idris Elba? No one, that's who.)

AUGH!!! NO! JUST NO! DO NOT WANT.

Vince submitted:

Lightning from the Final Fantasy series has always been a female character I liked in video games. Good news is she is returning in a third game featuring her. That is awesome! It looks like you play dress up with her for combat, that could be cool, I guess - kinda weird, but I’ll go with it. Also weird is that the game director and character modeling designer wanted to ‘enhance’ her appeal. AND YES! THEY WILL JIGGLE! 

http://www.dualshockers.com/2013/07/27/more-information-on-lightnings-boob-job-in-lightning-returns-ffxiii-emerge-yes-theyll-jiggle/

Q: Is it true you said you wanted Lightning-san’s size from a C cup to a D cup?

Nobuhiro Goto (Character Modeling Designer): Toriyama-san said “I want it bigger” so…

Motomu Toriyama (Director): [What a] cop-out! (laughs)

Goto: Yes, it was enlarged.

Q: Was it a C cup until now? Does it even jiggle this time?

Goto: Yes!

Toriyama: It’s determined by clothing, like the so-called corrective underwear. (laughs)

…

Dengeki Online‘s report of the Q&A provides further details:

Q: I heard that the chest Jiggles?

Goto: Yes, her chest jiggles. Since everyone can decide what costume she’ll wear, you can make sure it does (laughs). By the way, since Lightning swings her arm when you change her weapon in the menu screen, that’s a recommended action for sure-fire jiggling! To see it even better it could be useful to equip a small shield. Look forward to it!

Geez…

I’m super upset by this.

Nice to know where their priorities are for re-designing her, and that they’re really excited about how you can dress her in specific clothing to watch her boobs jiggle when she fights.

This.

This is the same man.

God dammit. I've already hacked Polaris once. Do I need to hack my hack now to write a Silver Millenium version?

This has generally been a non-professional tumblr but … how to say it? Maybe I’m reconsidering that.

Anyway I write tabletop role-playing games. This is my company site. My games are designed to be simple and easy for beginners to get into. Some of them (Beatrice, SKEW, Clover) support internet play very well and some of them (Beloved) you can play by yourself.

You can buy the games in eBook form for any price, even zero, through a handy instant-gratification delivery system.

Here is a handy guide to games you might be interested in.

I am on tumblr for: Politics. The Drifter’s Escape, a game about America, homelessness, and the Devil.

I am on tumblr for: Slash. Hot Guys Making Out, because that’s what it’s for.

I am on tumblr for: Adorable Animal Pictures. Clover, because it is adorable.

I am on tumblr for: mental health blogging. SKEW is a game written by a crazy person (me!) about crazy author science fiction (ala PKD). See also: Beloved, Witch House. Both games I wrote as healing mechanisms. See also: my entire corpus.

I am on tumblr for: Homestuck. Try Bliss Stage. It draws on a lot of the same source material, and the player/server dynamic has an interesting mirror. Also, if you like “people struggling to save a doomed world:" Polaris.

I am on tumblr for: Homestuck, but really just the porn. Hot Guys Making Out. Does what it says on the tin. It has guidelines for hacking it so you can Solkat to your heart’s content. Also has characters who might reasonably be construed as Morail / Auspisitice / Kismesis.

I am on tumblr for: Steampunk. Being a role-playing game on the topic of the High-Flying adventures of Beatrice Henrietta Bristol-Smythe, DBE, daring Aviatrix and accomplished Exploratrix, and her Gentleman Companion, who for a Modest Fee, accompanies Beatrice Henrietta Bristol- Smythe, DBE, when the Occasion warrants her an Escort.

I am on tumblr for: Anime. Bliss Stage is in many ways Gunbuster the RPG. Clover is in many ways Yotsuba& the RPG. Hot Guys Making Out is in every way a yaoi manga RPG.

I am on tumblr for: fame and followers and fortune. XXXXtreme STREET luge.

On aliases you can trust

Amusingly, I've gotten some pretty waaangsty asks in response to my Trolls versus TVW flowchart. My favorite? From a guy called "DickButt McGee".

Sure, dude. I'm totally going to listen to what you're going to say. How could I not listen to anyone namedDickbutt McGee??

I swear, sometimes they make it too easy.