Part Nine On Ao3

Part nine on ao3

I had to split this one too lmao

edit, wrong link whoops

Excerpt of the fic I finished about G'raha and my WoL's ridiculous rollercoaster of how they actually got together:

G'raha was in the Exarch's solar with his head in a book when I returned the First. I gestured to Lyna to give us some privacy as I entered, and she nodded and closed the door behind me.

I stopped in the doorway, crossed my arms, and cleared my throat to get G'raha's attention. "I can't believe I have to be grateful to Emet-Selch for shooting you," I said, giving him a Very Unimpressed Look. "I hate that guy, so I don't like being in his debt for foiling your terrible plan."

G'raha looked down as he closed his book carefully and set it on the table next to him. "I understand you're angry with me for lying to you," he said, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor. "But the ultimate purpose was achieved. And the stakes were too high to put my feelings above the fate of two worlds."

I sighed gustily and crossed the room to kneel at G'raha's feet. He started as I took his hands in mine, the mismatched textures of his crystalline right hand and flesh-and-blood left hand an odd contrast. "In your shoes, I can't claim that I would have done differently," I admitted reluctantly, knowing that G'raha's penchant for self-sacrifice was a quality that we both shared in abundance. "And I understand why you kept your secrets. What I'm angry about is that you don't value your own life, to the point that you assume that I wouldn't either. And I do value you. So much."

G'raha was watching me with wide eyes. "Oh," he said in a small voice. "I didn't mean... It's just... Even with a hundred years to think about it, I couldn't find of another way. After a while I just got used to taking it for granted that my death was... necessary." He paused to take a deep breath. Shuddered. "Wrapping my head around the fact that it wasn't, that we succeeded and I'm still alive? It's... a lot."

I hated the idea of that so much that I climbed into his lap and cupped his face with my hands. "I forgive you. And I'm so glad you're still here."

G'raha shuddered a second time as his eyes darkened with self-recrimination. "I don't deserve--"

"Just shut up and kiss me, G'raha."

The corner of his lip twitched upward as he gave in. He relaxed by degrees and settled his hands at my waist as I kissed him slowly, like the wonderful, precious impossibility that he was. And I kept kissing him and kissing him like we had all the time in the world.

Finally, G'raha pulled away to look at me with regret. I was half afraid that he was going to say he couldn't do this for some bullshit reason or another - self-sacrifice isn't a habit you unlearn overnight. (I should know.) But instead, he surprised me by blushing faintly. "I'm afraid I can't do more than, uh, this. On account of..." he reached up to gesture at the crystal which extended down his neck and beneath his collar. "It... it doesn't work anymore," he stammered.

I smiled at him softly. "I don't mind. This is nice."

G'raha's blush deepened. "It is," he mumbled, then closed his eyes to kiss me again.

Read the whole fic on AO3

How I explained G'raha Tia to a friend the other day

"His backstory is. ...convoluted.

Like. Imagine if Kingdom Hearts made sense.

That level of convoluted.

It's all like. Very logical given the established lore and how shit works. But the place you get to is "my boyfriend has super trauma because he put himself into stasis, woke up in the apocalypse timeline, merged his essence with a magic supercomputer, traveled to an alternate dimension 100 years in the past, and became an immortal but benevolent king so he could prevent the timeline where I died'

Primary side effect of merging his essence with the magic super computer that is made of crystal? He's fucking turning into crystal. And then he sacrifices himself and FULLY CRYSTALIZES.

So then you do some soul magic, go back to your world where he's still in stasis because the apocalypse that woke him up hasn't happened yet, and are like - here have this other version of your soul where you were half crystal and lived a hundred years and experienced the end of the world twice.

And he's like whoa okay. That's fucked up. Not super sure who I am anymore, this is kinda wild. But you don't find out that's what he's thinking until subsequently when you travel to the literal edge of existence and he TRANSFORMS HIMSELF INTO CRYSTAL AGAIN TO SAVE YOU.

And it's just like. G'raha. My guy. I get that you're having a hard time but fucking stop it.

AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT god dammit he's just the fucking most wholesome nerd. Like "I got too excited about books and forgot to eat or sleep for 3 days" nerd.

And there's this WHOLE SPEECH he does when he's still the Crystal Exarch right at the end of Shadowbringers where he's like, what are you going to do when this is all over? And I'm like rest lol. (Yeah right) And he's like - so I've got this friend, and I'm keeping secrets from [insert your pronoun here], but they're fucking rad and I'm hoping sempai will notice me and maybe we could go on an adventure together? And it's SO FUCKING OBVIOUS he's talking ABOUT YOU in an "all right, keep your secrets" kind of way.

EXCEPT THEN YOU FIND OUT THAT HIS BIG MASTER PLAN WAS: get the WoL to kill all the Lightwardens and absorb their light which will save both worlds, but no one person can hold that much light and live, so I'm going to take it from them and then teleport myself INTO THE RIFT BETWEEN WORLDS AND DIE.

And the only reason he doesn't succeed is because HE GETS FUCKING SHOT

So. [ahem] Yes. I think it says a lot about me that I am like. Yes. The nerdy twunk with super trauma who is OBSESSED WITH ME is my boyfriend.

I took GREAT SATISFACTION in dying for him for a hot minute at the end of Endwalker.

i know we joke about cis artists having the weirdest sense of anatomy, but also even when the anatomy is fine, no one seems to want to draw women doing normal things

I'll preface this update by saying that this is only the second sweater vest I've made.

So yeah, there's some wonky tension and I slightly fucked up the arm holes, but... Pretty pleased with it.

People have asked about a pattern and I uh. Didn't think I'd ever share my shitty graph paper scribble that I copied from a junk mail envelope but here we go. THERE ARE MISTAKES that I was too lazy to correct and just fixed as I worked, including the numbering.

Next step: bind off the shoulders and then I have the joy of the ribbing for the neck and arm holes.

(Tagging by request: @swingingardensludgestudent @garaksapprentice )

Sweater vest attempt number two is going well

Me: Hey internet, how long should I wait before following up with an agent about their request for a full manuscript? The Internet: minimum 3 months Me:

In the 10yrs since you last discussed Bayonetta, have your opinions changed on bayo since everything between 2014 to now (tl;dr the "Bayonetta is good, actually" opinion best typified by Maddy Myers and Leigh Alexander seemingly won the "feminist bayonetta wars" circa 2017 or so, then Bayo 3 came out last year, ended it all on a very comphet note and a lot of the "bayonetta is feminist actually" ended up feeling betrayed while the haters took a very smug "told you so" tone to the whole thing)

Wow. Okay. Uh. So.

1. Do you somehow not realize that it's fucking weird to track someone down on a different social media platform and grill them about opinions they had TEN YEARS AGO?

2. You don't get to give me homework, I don't owe you shit.

3. Internet weirdos like you are exactly why I shut down my blog. Get a better hobby.