New FFXIV Fic: G'raha Wants Us To Fuck Him About His Trauma

New FFXIV fic: G'raha wants us to fuck him about his trauma

Length: 4K words - with 5 more chapters planned, (Eventual) very smutty smut coming in the next chapter Alisaie / G'raha Tia / Warrior of Light

G'raha was reading a book in my sitting room the next time I woke up and shuffled out in search of food. Despite having been warned by Alisaie, it was hard not to react to how terrible he looked. The bags under his bloodshot eyes made me suspect that he might not have slept at all since our return.

He looked up at me as I approached and smiled with forced jocularity. "Ah, Savvel! I see my guess as to when you'd awaken was accurate. Alisaie went to get dinner for all of us - she'll be back shortly. I also took the liberty of reading you while you were out, and you'll be relieved to know that you should be able to do things besides eat and sleep by tomorrow." He fidgeted nervously with the book in his lap as he spoke, looking so fearful that I was going to be angry with him that I didn't even have the heart to tease him about how utterly predictable he had been in choosing crystal transformation as his method of self-sacrifice.

"Instead of arguing about which of us is angry at who, how about we skip all that and admit we're both idiots," I groaned as I flopped onto the couch next to his chair. I looked over at him through half-lidded eyes, taking shameless advantage of the fact that I knew G'raha found me irresistible when I was sleep-rumpled. "Though if you tell Alisaie I said that, I'll deny everything. Now come here."

The wondering disbelief in his eyes almost broke my heart in two. "You... you're sure?"

"Raha," I shot back, packing those two syllables with loving derision. "I'm too tired to sweep you off your feet properly, so meet me halfway here."

G'raha's eyes were watery as he finally tumbled forward into my arms where he belonged, and for several minutes we said nothing as we just... held each other. And it was everything.

Alisaie returned a few minutes later, carrying what seemed like an obscene number of bags until I mentally tallied everything I had eaten since first waking up. She grinned when she saw G'raha and I cuddling on the couch, though I noted that the tension in her shoulders didn't ease completely.

Not that I blamed her. G'raha was clearly in worse shape than I was.

Alisaie set out her purchases on the table and we helped ourselves to a selection of our favorite foods from The Last Stand. I shared a concerned look with Alisaie when G'raha just stared at his burger instead of biting into it.

"I... I want to ask you something," he said slowly, his voice almost completely toneless.

"Okay," I said gently when he seemed to need a prod.

G'raha's ears were flattening themselves against his head. "I suppose it's more accurate to say that I want to ask you for something. Though, I acknowledge that it may sound foolish, or silly, and that you might not... you might need..."

"Raha." Alisaie said, with such exquisite tenderness that she even surprised herself. "Tell us what you want."

G'raha's ears came up slightly, but his tail continued to twitch. "What would you say to going away where no one could get at us for... say. A week? All three of us?"

"I'd say that sounds nice," I responded cautiously. "I'm under strict orders to get some real rest this time anyhow. Where did you have in mind?"

"I... I didn't have my heart set on a particular destination, as such," G'raha demurred as he unaccountably started to turn pink. "I was thinking more of. Ah. A possible agenda."

We said nothing and waited him out.

"I want to be your free use fuck hole for a week," he finally blurted out.

Read the whole thing on AO3

Excerpt of the fic I finished about G'raha and my WoL's ridiculous rollercoaster of how they actually got together:

G'raha was in the Exarch's solar with his head in a book when I returned the First. I gestured to Lyna to give us some privacy as I entered, and she nodded and closed the door behind me.

I stopped in the doorway, crossed my arms, and cleared my throat to get G'raha's attention. "I can't believe I have to be grateful to Emet-Selch for shooting you," I said, giving him a Very Unimpressed Look. "I hate that guy, so I don't like being in his debt for foiling your terrible plan."

G'raha looked down as he closed his book carefully and set it on the table next to him. "I understand you're angry with me for lying to you," he said, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor. "But the ultimate purpose was achieved. And the stakes were too high to put my feelings above the fate of two worlds."

I sighed gustily and crossed the room to kneel at G'raha's feet. He started as I took his hands in mine, the mismatched textures of his crystalline right hand and flesh-and-blood left hand an odd contrast. "In your shoes, I can't claim that I would have done differently," I admitted reluctantly, knowing that G'raha's penchant for self-sacrifice was a quality that we both shared in abundance. "And I understand why you kept your secrets. What I'm angry about is that you don't value your own life, to the point that you assume that I wouldn't either. And I do value you. So much."

G'raha was watching me with wide eyes. "Oh," he said in a small voice. "I didn't mean... It's just... Even with a hundred years to think about it, I couldn't find of another way. After a while I just got used to taking it for granted that my death was... necessary." He paused to take a deep breath. Shuddered. "Wrapping my head around the fact that it wasn't, that we succeeded and I'm still alive? It's... a lot."

I hated the idea of that so much that I climbed into his lap and cupped his face with my hands. "I forgive you. And I'm so glad you're still here."

G'raha shuddered a second time as his eyes darkened with self-recrimination. "I don't deserve--"

"Just shut up and kiss me, G'raha."

The corner of his lip twitched upward as he gave in. He relaxed by degrees and settled his hands at my waist as I kissed him slowly, like the wonderful, precious impossibility that he was. And I kept kissing him and kissing him like we had all the time in the world.

Finally, G'raha pulled away to look at me with regret. I was half afraid that he was going to say he couldn't do this for some bullshit reason or another - self-sacrifice isn't a habit you unlearn overnight. (I should know.) But instead, he surprised me by blushing faintly. "I'm afraid I can't do more than, uh, this. On account of..." he reached up to gesture at the crystal which extended down his neck and beneath his collar. "It... it doesn't work anymore," he stammered.

I smiled at him softly. "I don't mind. This is nice."

G'raha's blush deepened. "It is," he mumbled, then closed his eyes to kiss me again.

Read the whole fic on AO3

How I explained G'raha Tia to a friend the other day

"His backstory is. ...convoluted.

Like. Imagine if Kingdom Hearts made sense.

That level of convoluted.

It's all like. Very logical given the established lore and how shit works. But the place you get to is "my boyfriend has super trauma because he put himself into stasis, woke up in the apocalypse timeline, merged his essence with a magic supercomputer, traveled to an alternate dimension 100 years in the past, and became an immortal but benevolent king so he could prevent the timeline where I died'

Primary side effect of merging his essence with the magic super computer that is made of crystal? He's fucking turning into crystal. And then he sacrifices himself and FULLY CRYSTALIZES.

So then you do some soul magic, go back to your world where he's still in stasis because the apocalypse that woke him up hasn't happened yet, and are like - here have this other version of your soul where you were half crystal and lived a hundred years and experienced the end of the world twice.

And he's like whoa okay. That's fucked up. Not super sure who I am anymore, this is kinda wild. But you don't find out that's what he's thinking until subsequently when you travel to the literal edge of existence and he TRANSFORMS HIMSELF INTO CRYSTAL AGAIN TO SAVE YOU.

And it's just like. G'raha. My guy. I get that you're having a hard time but fucking stop it.

AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT god dammit he's just the fucking most wholesome nerd. Like "I got too excited about books and forgot to eat or sleep for 3 days" nerd.

And there's this WHOLE SPEECH he does when he's still the Crystal Exarch right at the end of Shadowbringers where he's like, what are you going to do when this is all over? And I'm like rest lol. (Yeah right) And he's like - so I've got this friend, and I'm keeping secrets from [insert your pronoun here], but they're fucking rad and I'm hoping sempai will notice me and maybe we could go on an adventure together? And it's SO FUCKING OBVIOUS he's talking ABOUT YOU in an "all right, keep your secrets" kind of way.

EXCEPT THEN YOU FIND OUT THAT HIS BIG MASTER PLAN WAS: get the WoL to kill all the Lightwardens and absorb their light which will save both worlds, but no one person can hold that much light and live, so I'm going to take it from them and then teleport myself INTO THE RIFT BETWEEN WORLDS AND DIE.

And the only reason he doesn't succeed is because HE GETS FUCKING SHOT

So. [ahem] Yes. I think it says a lot about me that I am like. Yes. The nerdy twunk with super trauma who is OBSESSED WITH ME is my boyfriend.

I took GREAT SATISFACTION in dying for him for a hot minute at the end of Endwalker.

Snippet from my queer polyamorous romance novel, Community Witch - an unapologetically trope-y, cozy, and relationship-driven romance story about the healing from trauma, found family, and joyful queer relationships. (Looking to publish next year.)

---

Aspen glanced around the space but couldn’t identify anything strange. Neither were they able to sense any obvious malevolence. “Does anything here look out of place to you?”

Rav looked around, then shook his head. “Not here. But mostly it stays back in the studio.” He pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door behind the register. “Which is back here.”

Aspen, who had hung out with a lot of artists in university, had expected chaos and mess. They were surprised to instead see a studio that was so immaculate and neatly organized that it barely looked as if it were in use. Even more surprising was Rav’s sudden inarticulate cry of anguish as he strode over to a painting in progress on an easel. “I wasn’t done with that!” he yelled in frustration at the ceiling.

“I take it something was moved?” Aspen asked mildly from the doorway.

“It put my paints away! And the brushes I was using!” Rav gestured in frustration at the large unit of pull-out drawers. “I left out the colors I was using so I’d be able to match them!”

“And… the ghost put them away?”

Rav held up a finger, clearly mistaking their confusion for skepticism. “I know this sounds crazy, but look.” He opened one of the drawers and started tossing tubes of paint on the floor.

Not more than a second later, the tubes lifted themselves off the floor and floated back into the drawer, which then slammed shut. Aspen blinked in shock. “Well there’s something I’ve never seen before. You have a poltergeist that cleans!”

G'raha was staring at Alisaie with the embarrassed look he usually wore when he wanted to ask for something sexual directly. And Alisaie, it seemed, had known him long enough to recognize his tells, even in this very different context. "What do you want, G'raha?"

"You could," he began, only for his voice to break. He swallowed and tried again. "You could...if you want... fuck my throat."

Alisaie blinked. Raised an eyebrow. "Not opposed, but... not what I was expecting."

G'raha attempted to maintain composure, but the twitching of his tail betrayed him. "A skill acquired at the Studium."

Alisaie's face lit up with surprise, then delight, both eyebrows now sky-high. "At the Studium."

G'raha went adorably pink again. "While it is certainly not the experience of every man, many young men have... have certain urges, and one doesn't always want to leave the library to indulge them. Over time, I formed a circle of acquaintances of... like-minded individuals who made a habit of relieving each other without any expectation of personal attachment, and. Well. I've always believed that there's no point in doing something if you don't do it well."

G'raha looked so mortified as he finished his explanation that I honestly couldn't blame Alisaie for the cackling laugh that burst out before she could get control of herself. "I'm sorry," she said, belatedly covering her mouth. "I'm just... I'm realizing now how badly I misjudged you. We had so much more in common back then than I would have guessed."

G'raha struggled for a moment to process this, then gave up. "So..."

"Do you want me to fuck your throat? Because I'd love to do it, now that you've brought it up.""Yes."

(Look, I'm so proud of these horny nerds okay.)

I'm quite proud of this sentence:

"G'raha, the poor, sweet moron, looked as if he'd been hit over the head, as he always did when confronted with the undeniable fact that he was actually quite lovely."

In retrospect I shouldn't have been surprised that this content would do well here

Sweater vest attempt number two is going well