Cats Will Be Like Oh You're Walking Somewhere? No WE'RE Walking Somewhere. And I Will Get There First.

cats will be like oh you're walking somewhere? no WE'RE walking somewhere. and i will get there first. where is 'there' btw

I know there’s already been some hcs about Bruce Wayne going on a DC universe version of SNL but I just need to play it out for y’all

The whole bit is that this is the first time Brucie has ever taken anything so serious in his life, like the promo clip where he’s awkwardly standing with the music guest and a cast mate is basically like “I went to this thing called a meeting yesterday, have you guys ever heard of those before?? Wild!!” And Alfred makes a cameo in his opening monologue where he hands him his script on a silver platter.

But the thing that drives his family crazy is that he actually does a skit where he IS Batman. And they’re all freaking out because like holy shit Bruce there’s walking the line and using it as a jump rope. And he won’t elaborate on any of the specifics just that he actually pitched the idea himself.

The skit is basically just “what if Bruce Wayne was Batman” and it’s him trying to stop a mugging, but he immediately takes a tumble (his Instagram story hinted at stunt training and everyone had their theories, but it all being so that he could do a Buster Keaton-esque stunt is so much better). He freaks out at the sound of some warning fire and immediately surrenders despite the mugger really being equally afraid of him, and then a Villain of the Week captures him with ease, and he flirts the entire time he’s being dragged away.

He fucking kills it for someone without an acting background (to most people’s knowledge) and from that point on it’s a running joke/meme for gothamites to post or talk about what Bruce Wayne Batman would do in place of regular Batman

the adorable one...and then there's Dan.

I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship

Danny: Hello, I'm here for my job interview-

Alfred: You're hired.

Danny: But I didn't even say what position I was-

Alfred: You are Danny Fenton, nineteen years old, blood type AB, Libra. You are here to apply for the personal assistant position under Timothy Drake. You have five years of experience as a receptionist and a personal planner and have been unofficially bookkeeper for your parent's company since you were twelve. You dabble in fanfiction, go clubbing at Vortex- the gay club downtown, and have been one of the few people who yelled at people online for "Countdown to Legal Age" of both Master Dick and Master Tim.

Danny: .....I'm a little scared right now.

Alfred: That's to be expected. You will fit right in. Master Tim enjoys the smell of fear on his employees.

Danny: You were in the army, weren't you?

Alfred grinning: I read that your mother's family are also veterans. Your mother grew up in bases; did she not?

Danny nods: Yes, they are. This is like visiting family.

Alfred: With the proper attitude, you may become family in due time!

Danny mentally: Is he....trying to get me to marry Mr. Drake???

Danny was tired, like 'I feel it in my bones and soul' tired. And he didn't want sleep at home because there's only so many nights, he could spend lying awake making sure his heart was beating in case his parents checked on him.

Currently he was flying aimlessly not really taking in his surroundings, but he could neither sleep while flying or fly forever. Normally he'd sleep over at Sam or Tucker's, but the Mansons had made it clear that he wasn't welcome at their house anymore and Tucker was grounded. Both would sneak him in if he asked, but he didn't want them to get in trouble for him. Which leads him to decide between his two choices, sleeping in a graveyard, or sleeping in a forest.

The graveyard was a little crowded with all the ghosts that called it home but he could probably find a quiet spot to sleep. The forest had a great view of the stars but was filled with traps from both his parents and the GIW after tracking his ecto-signature. Both options weren't appealing, but he wasn't about to chance sleeping on the roof of his house again. There were too many ghost detecting guns attached to it now. Danny sighed, graveyard it was, at least the ecto from all the shades/ghosts would hide him well enough. Decision made, now all he had to do was make his way over there. But first, where the heck was he? Danny looked around at the unfamiliar grey sky and gargoyles littered around and realized he had no clue where he was. He must have flown too far away from Amity without noticing...Again. It was really becoming a bad habit. Danny stared down at the city's inhabitants that were going home or heading to nightshifts or whatever and dreaded the long flight back to his town. And maybe it was ghost instinct, or maybe it was just his exhaustion. But his brain suggested 'What if I just possess someone?' And to him that seemed like a perfectly logical train of thought. He wouldn't control their body or anything, just sleep in their skin...That did not make it sound better at all. Before he could think twice, someone left a general store, arms filled with stuff and somehow projecting an aura of safety. The two thoughts of 'They look comfy' and 'screw it' clashed together in his head as he made the very stupid decision of performing a swan drive right into the someone. "WHAT THE-" "Don't worry, I'll be gone by morning I just need to sleep" Danny cut off the persons freakout-he should really get their name at some point- he would have explained more but the sleep gods had already done their job. This left one very confused, scared, and freaked out Batkid.