xiutingmyself - さよならひとり
さよならひとり

call me L (she/her)| kpop | i write stuff | im a simp for Jungkook (and Baekhyun) | requests: closed | masterlist

861 posts

New Blog

New Blog

Hi everyone, we’re a new kpop/khh writing blog (although we have had our own personal accounts for more than 5 years). My sister and I both love reading any form of fan writing and I write a little so we thought why not make a blog for it. But anyways, please feel free to send us any requests or ask us any questions, we’ll be more than happy to answer. 

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~admin L, the older sis

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More Posts from Xiutingmyself

8 years ago

Saving Lives pt. 1 (M)

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: series, doctor!baekhyun au, fluff, angst, smut (in this chapter)

Word Count: 1,238

Summary: You’re about to start your internship in Seoul’s most prestigious hospital but before you devote your whole life to medicine, you decide to have one more night of freedom. But, what happens when that one night follows you to your job in the hospital? (inspired by Grey’s Anatomy)

A/N: Hello everyone! This is going to be a new series that we will be starting. It is highly influenced by the show Grey’s Anatomy. If some of you don’t understand some medical terms, don’t worry, I barely do and I am going to try my best to translate them and define them as best as possible. And I am going to try my best to be as accurate as possible. Hope you all like it.  ~admin L

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

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Part 1: 

I walk into the club glorified. Our last day of fun before we all start our first day as interns tomorrow. We worked our way up from medical school and now, we’re finally going to start working in a real hospital, through the residency program. One must be an intern first, work their way up to become a resident, and then choose a specialty, which they have to master, to become a surgical attending. My friends and I got accepted to Seoul’s top medical learning hospital where we will begin our internship tomorrow. That’s why we’re here, at a club, to celebrate our last day of freedom before medicine takes over our whole lives.

We go into a booth while Chen gets us drinks. I’m not really sure if drinking is the best thing to do when we have to treat patients the next day but, hey, we worked our asses off to get where we are. We might as well have a little fun.

Chen comes back with so many shots that soon enough, everyone’s on the dance floor, dancing and grinding with each other or with random strangers. I didn’t drink as much as everyone else because I want to at least enjoy and remember my last day of freedom.

After dancing with my friends, I begin to get hot and decide to go to the bar to get a drink.

I sit on a stool waiting for the bartender to make his way towards me. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I see him approach me and as I’m about to order my drink, someone behind me speaks.

“Two gin on the rocks.”

The bartender soon leaves to make the drinks, leaving without taking my order I’ve been waiting so long for. I’m so pissed off right now that I turn around to see who stole my order to scream at them… only to see a handsome man making his way to sit on a stool next to me. He’s undeniably breathtaking but he did do me wrong so I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging that.

“Hey!”

He turns to look at me, with a smirk. Not so much a condescending smirk, more like he’s trying to stop himself from smiling too wide in an adorable way. 

“Hmm?” Gosh, why does he have to be so attractive? I’m not going to let this guy get to me. I regain my composure and try to remain confident.

“You stole my order.”

“No I didn’t,” he says simply, deep voice gravitating me.

“Yes, you did. I was just about to order when-”

“When I bought you a drink.”

I’m about to retort back when his words finally sunk in. I close my mouth not really knowing what to say. “Uh, thank you,” I say awkwardly, averting my eyes to my lap, too nervous to look at him as he chuckles.

“No problem.” I feel him stare at me, making me feel inferior for some reason. “What’s your name?” he asks, suddenly getting my attention.

I look up and let out a hand for him to shake. It’s the least I can do since he bought me a drink. “I’m Y/N.”

He takes my hand in his as expected but what I didn’t expect was for him to kiss the back of it, holding my gaze. I can feel a blush form on my cheeks. “I’m Baekhyun,” he says in a sultry tone.

I felt my face heating up as I removed my hand away from his grip, looking anywhere but him.

“What are you doing at a place like this?” asks Baekhyun, capturing my attention.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

He laughs a little too loudly, making me smile. Why? Why must he be so perfect? “I’m here because I’m bored. Your turn.”

I feel his intense stare boring into me, a smirk still plastered on his face.

Should I tell him the truth? I mean I don’t even know him. “I’m here for my friends birthday.” I technically wasn’t lying, we celebrated Chen’s birthday a few days ago.

“You don’t hit me as the type to be at clubs,” he says as he eyes me up and down, making me feel self-conscious.

I do the same, really taking a good look at him. He’s dressed well like he has a stable job and can afford to spoil himself. His brown hair lays flat on his head, almost covering his eyes, small and dark. He has a button nose and plump lips. For some reason, I seem to be captivated by his lips until the bartender sets the drinks down.

Baekhyun hands me one as I say a soft thank you. I take a sip of my drink as he begins speaking again, “So Y/N, what do you do?”

I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell him I’m going to be an intern at a hospital. Then he’ll judge me for clubbing the day before. So I lie, “I’m a teacher. What about you?”

“I work in medicine.” He probably works in pharmaceuticals. An actual doctor wouldn’t be at a club this late (but who am I to judge). “But I take care of dogs in my spare time.”

That got my attention. I love dogs and I love men that love dogs. “Oh really?” I say interested, my entire attention on him.

He explains his love for dogs and his hobbies and I soon find myself listening to stories about his childhood after 2 hours of talking.

“Wow, so you saved your teacher’s life?”

“Yeah. That’s why she gave me straight A’s for the rest of the year.”

I laugh wholeheartedly, letting myself go around him.

“But that’s enough about me. Tell me about you,” he says as I feel his hand land on my thigh. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping he would make a move on me already. I played along, pretending not to notice.

“What do you want to know?”

“Umm, how about your likes and your dislikes?” His hand moves further up my thigh slowly.

“What you like in a person and what you don’t?” He continues, moving further up.

This time he leans into my ear as his hand inches upward, now hiking up my dress. “What makes you feel good and what doesn’t?” he whispers.

I gasp as he keeps his hand so high on my thigh. “You wanna get out of here?” he whispers in my ear.

He leans back a little, looking me in the eye, “unless you don’t want to.” He moves back, getting rid of his touch, giving me time to comprehend what’s happening.

“Y-yes,” I say softly, just enough for him to understand.

But that wasn’t enough. “What’s that baby girl? I can’t hear you. Tell me what you want.” He begins rubbing the inside of my thigh, giving me a chance to answer. I'm not sure what it was that gave me the confidence to speak, maybe it was the alcohol but I somehow managed to mutter the words lingering in my mind.

“I- uh, I want you to touch me.”

He smirks at my response, and it’s no longer that cute smirk, it’s a lingering smirk with something intriguing behind it.

He soon lets go of my thigh to grab my hand and drag me out of the club. Thank god I carpooled here, although I didn’t expect to go home with anyone, and yet here I am, in a car with someone I barely know, with so much sexual tension in the atmosphere.

What did I get myself into?

A/N: Well I hope you all like it so far. I’m going to probably update like every weekend, especially since school is starting soon. ~admin L


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8 years ago

i’ve been laughing for 10 minutes

8 years ago

Saving Lives pt. 4

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: series, doctor!baekhyun au, fluff, angst, smut (in later chapters)

Word Count: 1,976

Summary: You’re about to start your internship in Seoul’s most prestigious hospital but before you devote your whole life to medicine, you decide to have one more night of freedom. But, what happens when that one night follows you to your job in the hospital? (inspired by Grey’s Anatomy)

A/N: Sorry this took forever to post, but I did promise I would post on the weekend and it is the weekend. But from now on, I will only post on the weekend. I just started my senior year and it’s already hectic with homework. Like idk why teachers give homework on the first week but whatever, I have to deal with it. Anyways, hope you like this chapter. (p.s. Y/L/N stands for Your Last Name)  ~admin L

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

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Part 4:

I quickly turn around and begin to jog away, trying to avoid him. Unfortunately, I feel my arm being grabbed and I’m dragged into a vacant staircase as he closes the door behind him. “Let go of me, Dr. Byun.”

“Dr. Byun? Last night it was Baekhyun.” “Well, Dr. Byun, I think we should forget last night ever happened.” “What never happened?” he asks teasingly. “Us having sex or you throwing me out this morning because I would really like to remember both of those fond memories.” “No. There will be no memories. I’m not the same person I was at the bar.” “Right, because last night you were a teacher and now you’re a surgical intern,” he smirks. “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me the truth, we could have gone to work together. Carpooled.” “Listen Baekhyun, that’s beside the point. We should forget this ever happened.” “You took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it?” he teases more. “I was drunk, vulnerable and good-looking and you took advantage of me.” I begin to smile, trying not laugh. “Okay, first of all, I was the drunk one, and second of all, you’re not that good-looking.” “You took advantage,” he says again. “I did not take advantage.” “Want to take advantage again? How about Friday night?” “No,” I say seriously. “You’re an attending and I’m your intern. This is inappropriate.” I look into his eyes and all I see is lust. “Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” he says, smirk still plastered on his face. “Like you’ve seen me naked.” He begins to laugh, making me more angry. “From now on, I will be Dr. Y/L/N and you will be Dr. Byun.” I shove a binder in his hands. “Here’s Min Hyorin’s chart, her parents have questions.” Before he can answer, I walk out the door, making myself useful. ~ I’m walking towards Hyorin’s room when Chen pulls me to the side. “Hey, so I just did Hyorin’s lab and it came out clear, there’s nothing that explains her seizures.” “Did you tell Dr. Kim?” I ask. “Yeah, but I thought I’d let you know since she’s your responsibility now.” “Ugh, don’t even remind me. She wouldn’t stop talking to me about her rhythmic gymnastics.” “That’s what you signed up for.” “Actually no I didn’t. I signed up to save her life, not to hear about her hobbies.” “It was in the fine print,” Chen teases. “Anyways, let’s go. It’s time for lunch.” We walk to the cafeteria, grab our hospital food (which is not that great but I’m starving so this will do), and sit on an empty table. “How’s your day been going?” I ask Chen. “It’s alright, just running labs. Nothing special. What about you? What have you been up to?” Oh, he has no idea. Like the fact that I slept with the guy who is the head of the neurology department. That means he’s the best brain surgeon in this hospital. That means that because this is the best hospital in Seoul, the capital of Korea, he is the best brain surgeon in Korea. Not only that, but he wants round 2 on Friday. So yeah, I guess nothing much happened. Regardless I told him, “I’ve just been taking care of Hyorin. That’s about it. She seizes every now-and-then but I just shoot her another 10 milligrams of diazepam, but lately, I’ve been needing to give her more dosages because she’s beginning to not respond. ” “Hey, mind if I sit here?” We look up to see Chanyeol hesitantly holding his lunch. “Yeah sure,” I say, pulling out a chair for him. “Thanks, I really need a break.” He slumps down in his seat. “I don’t understand how you can eat after all those rectal exams,” laughs Chen. Chanyeol rolls his eyes, “I’m going to need energy if I’m going to survive all 48 hours.” “I think we can do it,” I say optimistically. “I honestly think we’ll be the first group of interns of Dr. Kim’s that will pass the 48-hour trial.” “You say that now but you won’t be saying that on hour 30. That’s when it hits you,” says Chen. “Whatever Chen. As long as I outlast you, I’m good,” I tease. “Umm you guys,” we look up to see Jihyo with a sack lunch. “All interns are wanted in the board room.” “What for?” I ask. “I’m not sure, all I know is that everyone’s going there now.” We walk to the board room to see it crowded with interns, sitting around the long table. We move to sit in the front when the door abruptly opens causing everyone’s head to turn. In comes Baekhyun, I mean Dr. Byun, and Dr. Kim. They walk to the front of the room and I immediately regret my seating choice. I try to go unnoticed but when I look up, I see he’s already looking at me. He smirks and breaks eye contact before referring to the whole room. “Good afternoon everyone,” Baekhyun says. “I’m Dr. Byun, head of the neurology department here in Seoul Medical. I’ve asked you all here because there is something I need your help with, all of you.” He makes eye contact with me before speaking again. “Patient Min Hyorin is suffering from grand mal seizures and we’re not sure what’s causing it. She’s not responding to our meds, the labs are clean, the scans are pure. She has no visible cause. She’s a ticking time bomb, if I don’t make a diagnosis soon, she’s going to die.” Everyone becomes tense. This is our first day and we already have a potential death in our hands, especially mine. “But this is where you all come in,” Baekhyun says optimistically. “I can’t do it alone. I need your extra minds, I need your extra eyes. I need you all to help me find out why Hyorin is having seizures. I know you are all busy and have more work than you can possibly handle so I’m going to give you an incentive.” The room begins to fill with whispers. “Whoever figures out the diagnosis will get to scrub in with me. Hyorin needs surgery and you will do what no intern will ever get to do, scrub in and assist on an advanced procedure. Dr. Kim will hand you all Hyorin’s chart. The clock is ticking fast people. If we’re going to save Hyorin’s life, we have to do it soon.” With that, he walks out of the room, causing everyone to frantically run towards Dr. Kim to receive Hyorin’s chart. This is a chance of a lifetime. No intern ever gets to have the opportunity to scrub in on a surgery, let alone, assist. This is a job for residents and attendings. We only do labs, charts, and small ER cases like colds and fevers. I have to win, I have to get this surgery, I don’t care if Baekhyun’s going to be there. This is going to help me become the best surgeon I can be. I walk out of the room determined before Chen stops me. “Hey, wait. Let’s work on this together.” “Sorry Chen but I want the surgery.” “I know, so do I but if we work together, we can find the diagnosis sooner. Then, we both will have a better chance of getting that surgery. And besides, we have an advantage.” “And what’s that?” “You. You’ve been monitoring and charting all her data. You know her better than any intern here.” He’s right. I’ve had the most contact with her out of everyone in this hospital. “Okay, fine. Let’s go to the library.” ~ We go to the hospital’s library where all the medical books are at for reference. Doctors can come in here to refresh or research information they need on a diagnosis. Chen and I grabbed a bunch of books and sat on the floor at a secluded area, leaning against a bookshelf. “So it’s not anorexia, chronic renal failure, or acidosis,” says Chen while scanning a book. “And it’s not a tumor because her C.T came out clean.” I wasn’t really listening to what Chen was saying. I’m a little distracted by Baekhyun. It’s just weird knowing that he’s working at the same hospital and that he’s my superior. This is going to make my job a lot harder. “Are you even listening to me right now? What’s on your mind?” asks Chen frustratingly. “Nothing. It’s nothing. How about an infection?” “No, there’s no white count. And she has no C.T lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap.” He sees that I’m distracted again and aggravatingly puts his book to the side and faces me. “Okay, seriously what’s wrong?” Should I tell him? I mean he is my best friend and he won’t judge me, right? He knows I do some crazy shit sometimes so he shouldn’t be too harsh. “Okay, I’ll tell you but you have to promise not to tell anyone. And don’t make a big deal or react in a crazy way.” “I promise.” I take a deep breath and look at him. “I had sex with Dr. Byun. But it was before I knew who he was. It was last night after the club. So please don’t judge me or say anything.” He looks shocked, that he stills for about three seconds. Right when I think he’s about to scold me, he thankfully changes the subject. “What about an aneurysm?” I look at her chart. “No blood on the C.T and no headaches.” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “Okay, so no drug use, no pregnancy, and no trauma.” “I don’t know what else to look for,” I say defeated. “The poor girl’s going to die.” “I thought you didn’t like her that much.” “I don’t but she doesn’t deserve to die for it. I kind of feel guilty complaining about her rhythmic gymnastics.” Chen laughs, “what even is rhythmic gymnastics?” I chuckle lightly, “I don’t even know. But she’s apparently the best up until recently because she fell and sprained her ankle.” That’s when something clicks in my head. I stand up abruptly. Chen stands up too. “What is it?” asks Chen. “I know what’s wrong with her.” ~ We run around looking for Baekhyun when we see him getting into an elevator. We sprint before the door closes. Chen sticks his hand out, preventing the doors from closing. “Wait, Dr. Byun,” calls out Chen. The doors open. Baekhyun seems slightly frightened but composes himself quick. “Yes?” “Hyorin does rhythmic gymnastics,” starts Chen. “Good for her, but what does that have to do with anything?” “Even though she had no headaches and no neck pain, what if she has an aneurysm?” Chen continues. “There’s no medical proof or indicators of an aneurysm,” argues Baekhyun. “Her C.T was also clean.” “But the thing is she twisted her ankle a couple days ago when rehearsing-” The elevator began beeping, indicating that the doors have been open for too long. Baekhyun began getting frustrated. “Listen, I appreciate your hel-” “She hit her head when she fell,” I chimed in. This is the first time Baekhyun realized I was here. That got his attention so I continued. “When she went in for her ankle, doctors dismissed her head bump as nothing other than a minor fall.” “Do you know the chances of a minor fall causing an aneurysm?” began Beakhyun. “One in a million.” With that, the elevator doors closed and Baekhyun was gone. Chen and I turned around and begin making our way back to the library before the elevator doors opened again. Baekhyun steps out, smiling at us. “Let’s go,” he says. “Where?” I ask. “To find out if Hyorin is one in a million.”

A/N: Hope you all like it and remember to request. I would also appreciate feedback. ~admin L


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8 years ago

Stress Relief

Pairing: P.O x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 603

Warnings: blowjob, cursing

Summary: P.O. is having a stressful day at work so you decide to help him blow off some steam. 

Request: from @pyovelybeinglovely : I would like to request a P.O cute/smut (you decide which one, I can't fidndjwjejw) scenario where he had a stressful day at work. Thank you!!!

A/N: This is our first smut posted on here. I hope you all like it and sorry it took long to post, I was nervous about our first request. ~admin L

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The front door slams shut, signaling that someone came in and by the way the door was slammed, you can tell that that person is in a bad mood. You look over to see Jihoon sitting on the couch looking absolutely exhausted.

"Hey, babe," you say as you walk over to the couch. "How was work?" "Oh god," he groans. "It was so stressful Y/N. You have no idea, babe." "What do you mean?" "Well, we're writing some songs for the new album but there's this song where we can't seem to get past the second verse. It's so frustrating," he says, putting his face in his hands in exasperation. "Well is there anything I can do to help?" He looks at you with soft eyes, "no thanks, babe. I'll figure it out." You couldn't just stand there and do nothing while he was stressing out. You felt guilty just being a bystander to his frustration. He could use a bit of a stress relief. You had an idea. "Babe?" You say as you lean over and sit on his lap. He seems a little surprised by your sudden change in demeanor. "Y-Yes?" "I think I know what I can do help you relax a little." You begin straddling his lap until he gets the gist. "And what's that?" You answer back by closing the gap between you two with a kiss. It's slow and gentle at first but then escalates to a more feverish and messy one until you're both out of breath. You lean in close to his ear and whisper, "I want to make you feel good." He moans at that, already anticipating what's in store. You kiss at his jaw and down his neck as you unbutton his shirt. As every button disappears, you kiss lower and lower until you were on your knees unbuckling his pants. "Is this what you want baby?" you ask seductively. "Oh god, yes," he sighs. You pull down his pants slowly, wanting to tease him. "C'mon baby, don't tease me," he says hoarsely. "Be patient," you smirk. Once his pants are at his ankles, you lightly touch his bulge with the tips of your fingers, making him shudder. You lean in and kiss his clothed bulge causing a moan to slip from his lips. "Jihoon," you moan. "Fuck, baby girl. I love when you say my name." At that, you slowly begin to pull down his boxers ever so slowly and watch his dick spring up. He groans at the release. You take ahold of the shaft and slowly begin pumping, his precum making it smoother to pump. "Oh fuck, Y/N, that feels so good," he says, his head leaning back against the couch. You lean in and place your lips at the tip of his cock and suck softly. He moans loudly, encouraging you to go down on him. The warmth of your lips makes his hips buck up, causing you to gag. "Fuck, princess. You're so good at that." You go lower and lower each time as he moans and curses louder and louder until his cock twitches indicating he's close. "Yeah babe, just like that," he says as you bob your head down his shaft. "I'm close," he says and after a few more seconds, he's cumming in your mouth, causing you to swallow every little drop. Once he comes down from his high, you get up on the couch and kiss him passionately until you need to take a breath. "Thank you so much, baby," he begins. "You sure do know how to make me feel better." "Anytime."

A/N: Feel free to send in requests. ~admin L


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8 years ago

BTS reacting to you falling asleep on them

A/N: Thank you so much every one that have supported us and that followed us. We just started this account and we are close to having our first 100 followers so thank you so much. ~admin L

BTS Reacting To You Falling Asleep On Them

Jin: 

“Okay calm down Jin,” he says to himself, swallowing nervously (gif). “She’s just a friend and nothing else.” He looks at your sleeping face and confirms that he does want to be more than friends. 

BTS Reacting To You Falling Asleep On Them

Suga: 

He would be the first one to sleep. While you were awake, watching the movie, he would subconsciously pull you towards him in his sleep and snuggle close to you and you’d fall asleep in his arms to wake up to some weird explanation as to why he’s spooning you. 

BTS Reacting To You Falling Asleep On Them

J-Hope:

He wouldn’t even notice you were sleeping because he would fall asleep first. He felt comfortable and safe around you to sleep in front of you. Little did he know that he would be waking up to you sleeping next to him, snuggling close to him for warmth and comfort. 

BTS Reacting To You Falling Asleep On Them

Rap Mon:

“I have something to tell you,” starts Namjoon, about to confess. He looks down at you, to see you sleeping on his lap. He sighs, “I’ve liked you a lot and I’m having a hard time being around you (gif) because all I want to do when I see you is kiss you and hold you, and want to have eyes only for you.” He sighs again, knowing you’ll never hear those words come out of his mouth when you’re awake, but little did he know that you heard his confession and you felt the same.

BTS Reacting To You Falling Asleep On Them

Jimin:

He can’t help but smile so wide when you lean on his shoulder and fall asleep. He’s been too nervous to make any contact with you that when you make the first move, he can’t help but burst into joy. 

BTS Reacting To You Falling Asleep On Them

V:

You and Taehyung were laying down on the grass. He turns to you to see you sleeping, snuggling closer to him. He was really nervous, but didn’t want to move in case he woke you. So he stared at you the whole time until you woke up.

BTS Reacting To You Falling Asleep On Them

Jungkook:

You were both studying for an exam at his place and were listening to a boring audio book when you both fell sleep on his bed. Jungkook woke up to see you sleeping peacefully on his bed. He covers both of you with a blanket and falls back asleep. It's only when your phone begins to ring that you both wake up, under the covers. 

"Good morning," Jungkook says, stretching his arms, yawning. 

"It's morning?!" you scream. 

You hear him chuckle. "No, its night. But you can sleep over."

BTS Reacting To You Falling Asleep On Them

A/N: Requests are open, or feel free to ask us any questions. ~adminL


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