Kpop Fics - Tumblr Posts
traitor- EIGHT: insane.
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synopsis: you and yeonjun were best friends for most of your life’s but he’d recently gotten into a toxic relationship with someone you’ve never liked, he knew that and still decided to be with her. though you’d never thought he’d go to the extent of cutting you off because of her. much less expect that years later he’d make his way back into your life.
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tags: @bbinwrld @soobsfairy444 @stqrgr7 @nishik1 @skittlez-area512 @odisdad @zonked-times @vocaloshin @vixensss @mackjestic @matcha-binz @txtmetonight @novvogily @ckline35 @jaeneohee @staryuyu @binluvsu @kyujism @doumachi @beomkgyu @cherriesbloss0m @cur-sedd @soobadooba
traitor- TEN: cupcakes man
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synopsis: you and yeonjun were best friends for most of your life’s but he’d recently gotten into a toxic relationship with someone you’ve never liked, he knew that and still decided to be with her. though you’d never thought he’d go to the extent of cutting you off because of her. much less expect that years later he’d make his way back into your life.
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tags: @bbinwrld @soobsfairy444 @stqrgr7 @nishik1 @skittlez-area512 @odisdad @zonked-times @vocaloshin @vixensss @mackjestic @matcha-binz @txtmetonight @novvogily @ckline35 @jaeneohee @staryuyu @binluvsu @kyujism @doumachi @beomkgyu @cherriesbloss0m @cur-sedd @ye0nvibezzn @soobadooba
traitor- ELEVEN: the ferris wheel
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synopsis: you and yeonjun were best friends for most of your life’s but he’d recently gotten into a toxic relationship with someone you’ve never liked, he knew that and still decided to be with her. though you’d never thought he’d go to the extent of cutting you off because of her. much less expect that years later he’d make his way back into your life.
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“what do you mean of course you did? it took you 5 tries” you say laughing, covering your mouth. “okay to be fair, the games here are rigged!” he smiles at your laughing face, taking into account jakes words. “do it already” but when is the perfect time to do so?
“okay so wanna go on the ferris wheel next?” you asked but jay paid no heed, too busy in his own thoughts and mindlessly responded, “yeah of course, lets go”
walking together side by side, jay cant help but eye your hand contemplating if he should hold it or not. wondering whether or not acting upon it would be too much since after all in your eyes you’re just friends.
-
after patiently waiting in line jay hands the tickets to go on the wheel giving you a light smile, “lets go” candidly, jay was a bit nervous to get on. he didn’t especially have a fear towards heights it was more of a fear of the ride suddenly stopping at the top. i guess it was perceptible on his face as the ride began since you suddenly asked, “are you okay jay?” he inclined his head, “yeah im fine” for a short time you looked at him with a worrisome expression before reaching your hand out to rest on top of his. “it’s fine if you don’t want to tell me.”
why do you act like this? you make his heart race but your face telling him that it wasn’t a big deal, that he shouldn’t think to much of this, that this is a normal thing for friends.
looking at your hands together he thinks, but isn’t this was he wanted all along?
the rest of the ride was awkward, he couldn’t get out of this thoughts. did you even like him back? what would be the point of sacrificing your friendship? just so he could get relief from his built up feelings?
this continued for the rest of the night, he tried to push it away but it was clear the mood had shifted.
in the end he just couldn’t do it, he was so determined to confess but realized if the possibility of loosing you was in the question then he can deal with his feelings on his own.
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A/N: AHH IM SO SORRY FOR THIS GUYS but this is a yeonjun smau 😔😔💔 sorry if there’s any grammar mistakes im literally so sleepy making this 😭
tags: @bbinwrld @soobsfairy444 @stqrgr7 @nishik1 @skittlez-area512 @odisdad @zonked-times @vocaloshin @vixensss @mackjestic @matcha-binz @txtmetonight @novvogily @ckline35 @jaeneohee @staryuyu @binluvsu @kyujism @doumachi @beomkgyu @cherriesbloss0m @cur-sedd @ye0nvibezzn @reallyspaghetti @304files @soobadooba @jayhoonvroom
traitor- TWELVE: worried
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synopsis: you and yeonjun were best friends for most of your life’s but he’d recently gotten into a toxic relationship with someone you’ve never liked, he knew that and still decided to be with her. though you’d never thought he’d go to the extent of cutting you off because of her. much less expect that years later he’d make his way back into your life.
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making this while listening to bags by clairo did NOT help 😂 why am i sad for them
tags: @bbinwrld @soobsfairy444 @stqrgr7 @nishik1 @skittlez-area512 @odisdad @zonked-times @vocaloshin @vixensss @mackjestic @matcha-binz @txtmetonight @novvogily @ckline35 @jaeneohee @staryuyu @binluvsu @kyujism @doumachi @vivicake @cherriesbloss0m @cur-sedd @ye0nvibezzn @reallyspaghetti @304files @haechansbbg @purriodsblog @alemi-i @ioanawlw @soobadooba @jayhoonvroom
CHOI BEOMGYU - “starry eyes forever”
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SYNOPSIS AND MENTIONS: goofy/random texts w beomgyu, beomgyu x fem reader, use of “😏” as a joke, mentions of barbie, league of legends, jinx, 25 21 and cas 💝
AUTHORS NOTE: I AM SO SLEEPY MAKING THIS HELEPEP so sorry if there’s grammar mistakes ‼️
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traitor - THIRTEEN: say hi
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synopsis: you and yeonjun were best friends for most of your life’s but he’d recently gotten into a toxic relationship with someone you’ve never liked, he knew that and still decided to be with her. though you’d never thought he’d go to the extent of cutting you off because of her. much less expect that years later he’d make his way back into your life.
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OMG I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT POSTED FOR THIS SMAU IN LIKE A MONTH IM SO SORRY 😭 so heres a short little ep since the next one is gonna be a written one !!
tags: @bbinwrld @soobsfairy444 @apple9i3 @nishik1 @skittlez-area512 @odisdad @zonked-times @vocaloshin @vixensss @mackjestic @matcha-binz @txtmetonight @novvogily @ckline35 @jaeneohee @staryuyu @binluvsu @kyujism @doumachi @vivicake @cherriesbloss0m @cur-sedd @ye0nvibezzn @reallyspaghetti @304files @haechansbbg @purriodsblog @alemi-i @ioanawlw @soobadooba @jayhoonvroom @harufluff @minjiji-03 @geminidas
🎯 TARGET: did bro just break into song
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synopsis: y/n thinks, “he hates me” but thats not the case at all. niki is head over heels for the girl so why does he stare at her like he wants to kill her???
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tags: @rikibun @sakiimeo @riki-is-my-bias @mivami08 @j-wyoung @nyfwyeonjun @luvtyunn @k1ttylvr @sunghoonsbeautymark @haechansbbg @clairecottenheart @yumilovesloona @hayleywaley @coolwitu @minjiversee @chaeugwi @mrchweeee @s00buwu @soobs-things @im-yn-suckers @rikislady @hyuzaa @lovrqis @reveriewons @neozon3nha
🎯 TARGET: (FLIP U SUNOO)
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synopsis: y/n thinks, “he hates me” but thats not the case at all. niki is head over heels for the girl so why does he stare at her like he wants to kill her???
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two posts in one day whatt 😇 (I LOVE SPRING BREAK !!)
tags: @rikibun @sakiimeo @riki-is-my-bias @mivami08 @j-wyoung @nyfwyeonjun @luvtyunn @k1ttylvr @sunghoonsbeautymark @haechansbbg @clairecottenheart @yumilovesloona @hayleywaley @coolwitu @minjiversee @chaeugwi @mrchweeee @s00buwu @soobs-things @im-yn-suckers @rikislady @hyuzaa @lovrqis @reveriewons @neozon3nha @hooniesgf @leaderwon @rikisgeef @armydrcamers @sunkislove @enhaz1 @gothgyuu @girlokarina @jiyeons-closet @baevsxii @erehkinnie30 @luchiet @evalevaeva @leep0ems @yizhoutv @miumiuisme @simjyunnie @vixialuvs @wonkisbbg @gweoriz @loviniki @jeongingf1 @jayujus @eleanorheartschishiya @givemeakith @akuspic @aaasia111 @wanderers-archive
TXT TEXTS - another members pc
• REQUESTED by @astridxxxx !!
• A/N : i haven’t done a ot5 txt smau in a whileee, hehe tysm for requesting ^^
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perm tags: @skittlez-area512 @aaa-sia @nishislcve
divider by @/fairytopea !!
TXT AS YOUR DOOR DASHERS
warnings: soobs has grammar mistakes im too sleepy to fix, mentions of blood and tyun being “tired of living”
a/n: late to the trend but OT5 TEXTS AT 4 AM LETS GOOOO
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Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]
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Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?
Rating: NC-17 // NSFW
Genre: Series | Mafia!AU | Crime!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff | Smut
Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC
Warnings: Graphic Violence (bloody violence), Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut
Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47
Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]
Word Count: 2,441
Tag List: @prisczero, @pinkpjmin, @btsaudge, @flowerwrites06, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali, @shrimpmsg,
Chapter 47: DNA
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“We’re completely different baby. Because we’ve found our destiny.“
© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.
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Seoul – Cheongdam; Gangnam District South Korea
There were few expectations that Kim Taehyung had in life. He expected to wake up, have breakfast (and by breakfast, he had every intention of making love to his woman), shower, eat actual breakfast, and then continue with his day. His work was always different; working with artists of various talents. It didn’t have to be in the music industry. Taehyung found promising artists of all forms of medium in his line of work. Some nights he worked late. Some nights he came home early.
These were all normal expectations.
What he didn’t expect was to come home to a lovely ceramic plate flying at his head.
Instincts took over rationale and he quickly dodged, the plate shattering into half a dozen pieces against the wall. When he looked up, he saw Raelyn preparing to aim two coffee mugs at him from the kitchen. She lunged one at him and he dipped around the corner as it smashed into the wall.
“W-Whoa!” he yelled, peeking around the corner, “Raelyn, what the hell?!”
She said nothing. Raelyn chose to chuck the other mug in her hand instead of answering him. Taehyung ducked behind the wall again. He hurried out of his shoes and shrugged his coat off his shoulders, letting it land on the floor. Taehyung raced into the kitchen just as Raelyn began reaching for the carving board; presumably to beat him with. She yelled at him, a host of incoherent sounds tumbling from her, and he wrenched the heavy board from her hands and tossed it onto the counter.
He ignored her banging on his chest and only winced when she grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled. Taehyung did his best to put a lid on his mounting anger and, instead, chose to focus on the fury painted over his girlfriend’s face. He reached out to grab her wrists, holding them firmly between them and forcing her to finally look at him.
“Raelyn!” he yelled again, his voice booming off the walls and causing her to be still for even half a second, “What’s the matter? Tell me what the fuck is happening!”
But she didn’t say anything. All he saw was the onset of tears brimming her eyes until they, too, spilled down her cheeks. He searched her gaze, looking for a clue that would tell him anything about what forced her to go into a frenzy. He watched her fingers curling into fists as he held her wrists securely in his grasp, her chest rising and falling with how heavy she was breathing. He was so confused.
Until his eyes rested on the counter and he saw a pregnancy test. There were two faded blue lines on the applicator. His grip suddenly slackened and his arms fell at his side. Raelyn didn’t resume her punching assault. She covered her eyes instead, sobbing into her hands. It only took a moment for him to realize what was happening before his vision went vertical for half a second. Shaking his head, he tried to get his head right as it attempted to swim.
“H-How long?”
He grunted when he felt Raelyn punching his shoulder. “I don’t know! A month! Maybe longer!” She angrily wiped at the tears on her face. “I won’t know until I get an ultrasound done.”
Taehyung rubbed at his shoulder absentmindedly, stopped, and then smiled widely. He saw Raelyn aiming to hit him again, but he shifted and grabbed her by the hand. “Then let’s get one done.”
“Are you crazy?!”
It was hard to keep his smile from growing, but he tried. The flustered look on Raelyn’s face, however, had him dissolving into a small giggling fit. She tried to break out of his hold, successfully freeing one hand. She immediately used it to punch him repeatedly on the shoulder. This only forced him to laugh even harder and he began holding his sides.
“You think this is funny?! HUH?!”
Before Raelyn could assault him again, he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up. She kicked her legs back and forth, wriggling in his hold, but he only buried his face into the juncture of her neck. He continued to laugh until he felt tears leaking out of his eyes. He hadn’t meant for her to see it, but she must have felt it because she slowly went limp in his arms. Her hands settled on his shoulders as he held her aloft, her feet dangling off the ground and resting along his shins.
“T-Taehyung-ah,” she said gently, moving her hand to curl at the side of his neck, “are you alright?”
He didn’t want to let her go. Not yet. He continued to keep her close to him, her body still in the air and pressed against his chest. His laughter died off and he wrapped his arms even tighter around her waist. She didn’t protest or fight him, instead choosing to card her fingers through his hair until her digits were pressed against the nape of his neck.
Taehyung nodded his head, setting Raelyn down slowly until he felt her feet resting on the floor. He pulled back and she looked up at him, brows knitting together in concern. His smile remained, a little softer, and he let his hands trail down until he could curl his fingers into her palms. Small tears spilled out of the corners of his eyes and he gave a half laugh, using his shoulders to swipe away the moisture on his cheeks.
“I’m better than alright, Noona.” He pulled her a little closer. “I’m so happy.”
Raelyn looked unsure. “You are?”
He gave an emphatic nod. “Yeah, I am.”
This seemed to almost stun her, but she didn’t say anything. Not immediately. He could sense her reticence. He knew there wasn’t anything he could do to chase that little bit of doubt away, so he simply waited. He waited for her to process things the way she often did – usually a handful of minutes of cogwheels turning in her mind.
Finally, she sighed as he saw her shoulders sag a measure. “But why?”
He knew this was coming. He was ready for it. Taehyung always knew he’d be ready if the conversation ever led to this topic. He just never expected it to happen so quickly.
“Because,” he began, taking a breath, “I’ve always wanted to be a dad.”
Again, Raelyn said nothing. She just waited for him to continue, knowing he would.
“I’ll admit it, I was jealous of Jin Hyung a little when he told us that Ana Noona was pregnant. Maybe there was a part of me that selfishly wished you were pregnant too.” A measure of guilt wormed around in his heart and he let go of Raelyn’s hand to rub at the tender spot in the center of his chest. “I know that it isn’t just about me, though. It wasn’t on purpose. I know we were both careful and I—”
Raelyn shook her head. “No, these things just happen sometimes. Use all the protection in the world, but that isn’t a hundred percent preventative. There are instances where it can just…happen.”
He smirked. Hearing her logicalize the situation made his girlfriend even more endearing. Bringing rationale into the relationship was her way of processing and analyzing things. Raelyn was hardly what anyone would consider an impulsive individual. In an unexpected situation, she was doing her best to keep a level-head once the initial fallout of emotions was finished.
Leaning forward, he peered into her face and she, in turn, leaned back so he couldn’t completely crowd her space. “You still mad at me?”
He could see her struggling not to smile, her eyes averting his gaze to keep her expression as flat as possible. “…maybe.”
“You sure?”
“No.”
“Can we go get an ultrasound now, hm?” Swaying their arms back and forth, he pushed out a small whine. “I wanna know if we’re gonna be parents or not.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” Raelyn said, slipping her hands from his so she could head to the coat closet in the living room, “get your jacket. It’s cold.”
Taehyung scampered behind her, letting her arms shrug into the coat. He made sure she was fully zipped up, holding her hand as she put on her shoes. It took him no time to throw on his padded coat and hop into his boots. He had to keep himself from all but dragging her out of the complex, half tempted to carry her all the way to the hospital.
He was anxious to know if he was already building something with his own two hands.
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Seoul – Hannam; Yongsan District South Korea
“What did you just say?”
Taehyung kicked his legs back and forth at the island in the kitchen, cradling the glass of wine in his hands. Yoongi screwed the top to the whiskey bottle closed, setting it on the counter. He seemed to be scrutinizing over what Taehyung just told him, leaning back on the counter and crossing one foot over his ankle.
Instead of answering, however, Taehyung grinned and took a sip of wine. Yoongi’s brows twitched in frustration, not known for being the most patient of people in their inner circle. He wouldn’t be able to get away with keeping his mouth shut for much longer.
“Where’s Jungkook?”
Taehyung decided to change the subject instead.
Yoongi snorted, not blind to his little avoidance method. “Hwaseong,” he replied easily, lifting the glass to his lips.
“Huh?” Taehyung blinked. “Why did he go back to Hwaseong?”
“He and Eden are on a trip there,” replied Yoongi, crossing the kitchen to sit in the chair across from him, “said something about wanting to show her our hometown.”
“What? Really?” Taehyung laughed while leaning back a bit. “Our maknae is so sentimental. Never expected him to take his girlfriend to our country town.”
Yoongi didn’t say anything. Taehyung saw his older brother’s expression shift, but barely. He’d heard from Jimin that Yoongi and Eden were together once. For years. Yoongi kept it a secret from all of them for an indeterminable amount of time and while Taehyung was never one to pry into the affairs of others, he had to admit that he was a little shocked to discover the person he often left them for was Eden McGee.
Will wonders never cease? he thought, watching Yoongi’s movements carefully. And now he’s forced to watch the woman he cared for engage in an intimate relationship with his youngest brother…
Setting the glass down on the marble counter with a whisper, Yoongi took a breath and looked at his watch. Something seemed to pass over his brother’s expression, something that anyone who didn’t know Min Yoongi would have missed. It was something that Taehyung would have missed had he not been paying attention.
He blinked at Yoongi from across the table, the older man refusing to meet his gaze.
…he still cares about her.
“When are you going to tell Hoseok about Raelyn?”
Yoongi’s words smashed through his thoughts, like a rock crashing through a window. For a moment, Taehyung felt his heart jump into his throat – getting stuck there. He tried to swallow down the uncomfortable feeling, internally praying that Yoongi dropped the subject. The truth of the matter was that Taehyung wasn’t sure when – or even how– he was going to bring it up to Hoseok in the first place. It wasn’t like it was light dinner conversation material.
Hoseok was level-headed. While Taehyung knew that his brother had already accepted his relationship with Raelyn, there was no telling how he would react upon hearing the news of her pregnancy. It wasn’t like it was with Anastasia. There was a good chance that Hoseok would simply take it in stride. On the other hand, he could explode.
Like a time bomb.
Clearing his throat, Taehyung drained his wine glass and set it down roughly on the counter. “Do I have to?”
He resisted the involuntary need to flinch when Yoongi’s dark eyes glared openly across at him. “…are you serious?”
“Yes, I am.” Taehyung said it out loud to convince himself.
Yoongi steepled his fingers together. “Don’t you think it’s a little irresponsible not to?”
“No,” he said a little more confidently, “it would be irresponsible to tell him when I don’t have my shit together. I want to tell him as a brother who is proud of the news, not some kid wanting his parents to fix his mistakes.”
For a while, all Yoongi did was stare back at him intently. The weight of his gaze made Taehyung’s breath shorten a measure, but he refused to have his resolve shake. He knew that Yoongi was the most practical of them all, willing to chop away any hindrances to their existences without hesitation. In a way, he could be even more ruthless than Hoseok.
Finally, he shrugged and stood from his chair. “It’s your choice,” Yoongi said while turning to head to the sink, “just make sure you don’t wait until it’s too late.”
Taehyung frowned. “What do you mean?”
He heard Yoongi scoff. “Don’t play dumb, Taehyung-ah.” He turned to glance over his shoulder at him. “You know things are going to get messy once the Jade Fangs decide to make their move.”
“Let them,” he said, standing from his chair, “it’s not like we aren’t ready for the fight.”
“Things are different now. Very different.” Yoongi crossed the room so he could stand beside Taehyung. “We’re not gangsters anymore. We don’t have power anymore. It’s going to get ugly and it’s because everyone has something to lose now.”
Taehyung felt a cold sweat touch the base of his neck as Yoongi gave him the once over.
“…some of us more than others.”
He jumped when he felt Yoongi’s hand patting his shoulder. The smile on his brother’s face was a mixture between bitter and sad. Yoongi sighed, turning away from him to leave the kitchen.
“Congratulations, Taehyung-ah.”
Taehyung sank back into the chair, as if the wind had been knocked straight from him. Part of him was happy to hear his brother acknowledge the small measure of joy he’d received in his life. The other part was fully aware of the warning Yoongi shared with him. They had more to lose now. More than ever.
I won’t let them take it from me. Curling his hands into fists at his knees, he narrowed his eyes harshly. I’ll never let anyone take my happiness from me.
Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]
![Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f25e55716011f0468b4b92bb80b456ee/946a4b81acc64d17-e7/s500x750/9a5858b20006860dd597f4b23b791f2ffaafaf8b.png)
Plot: “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?
Rating: NC-17 // NSFW
Genre: Series | Mafia!AU | Crime!AU | Angst | Romance/Fluff | Smut
Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC
Warnings: Graphic Violence (bloody violence), Heavy Language, Angst, Slow Burn, Smut
Additional Warnings: Graphic depiction of torture, graphic physical violence, captured/kidnapping, major character death
Previous Chapters: Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51
Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || Admin E’s WP || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]
Word Count: 5,133
Tag List: @prisczero, @pinkpjmin, @btsaudge, @flowerwrites06, @unoriginal-username15432, @halussali, @shrimpmsg,
AN: And it all goes downhill from here, Ladies...
Chapter 51: Begin
![Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bd3e02cf8f60060d4301d1868b10c497/946a4b81acc64d17-e0/s500x750/d910aaf1bc834a63b41fa1614138046b9d9610c8.gif)
“I can’t stand you crying. I want to cry instead, although I can’t.”
© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.
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Seoul – Samseong; Gangnam District South Korea
9:45 AM
Jungkook was three steps from heading to the insane asylum.
One step represented each day that he hadn’t been able to track Eden down.
He barely heard the words of comfort that Jimin was giving him. He knew that it had something to do with it not being his fault, but how could it not have been? He hadn’t heard from his wife in three days, assuming she got wrapped up with family affairs and was too busy to check in on the first day. The second day had him concerned that she’d gotten hurt. By the third day, Jungkook was at his wit’s end.
Only to find out that she’d been snatched up before she ever got the chance to leave for Daegu. He shouldn’t have put her second to his job. He shouldn’t have let her leave their house to go to the train station alone.
He shouldn’t have let this happen.
The image of Eden’s beaten form in the video clip was branded across the forefront of his mind. Hoseok was angry, determined to track down the Jade Fang members who’d done this. Jungkook was angry that they were still part of the equation. They should have been eliminated years ago.
It wasn’t like they weren’t aware of what Im Changkyun was capable of. They’d seen the vicious things he’d done while they were Jade Fang members themselves. He didn’t think it was necessary to attend district meetings, feeling the rest of the bosses were beneath his standards of proper mafia leadership. Hoseok was his only equal and it appeared that he continued to see him as such.
Divine Intervention prevented Jungkook from leaving the house that night and storming the stronghold of the Jade Fangs alone. He would have burned every single one of their businesses down; he was determined to do so. Jimin escorted him home that night and there was a parcel waiting at home for Jungkook. His brother made him a drink and when Jungkook opened the package, he collapsed on the floor and cried until he could barely breathe.
It was a gift Eden prepared for him for his birthday – a handmade model of his dream car. Seated in the car were miniature figures of Eden and himself. He didn’t remember passing out. He didn’t remember Jimin tucking a blanket over him. He could only remember Eden’s face, smiling as they shared breakfast together the morning she was taken.
“Jungkook-ah,” called Jimin, pulling Jungkook out of his inner musings. There was concern painted over his brother’s face and he took a breath, waiting for him to continue. “I think we’ve covered everywhere here.”
Jungkook said nothing. Instead, he pulled out the small notebook he carried with him and scratched out Gangnam from the list. For two and a half days, they combed every single section of Gangnam they could. There was a part of him that knew that the Jade Fangs wouldn’t be so arrogant to hold her hostage in their former territory. But there was also a part of him that could reason Im Changkyun doing something so ridiculous as a form of “poetic justice” against them.
To him, the Golden Jackals never disbanded.
“What about the others?”
Jimin sighed, leaning against the driver’s side door of the car. “They’re hitting the other areas. Hoseok called in some favors from the other district bosses to let us through.”
All Jungkook did was nod. There was something off about this whole situation. Very off. There shouldn’t have been a single obstacle in the way of the other district heads when it came to taking over their territories. Yongsan and Gangnam were completely up for grabs; Hoseok said as much. Jungkook could only guess that Changkyun’s influence prevented them from stepping a single foot into their turf. He more than likely was determined to get Hoseok and the others back so they could do a mass district takeover.
“I don’t like that Tae Hyung went off by himself,” he suddenly said, meeting Jimin’s gaze.
“Yeah,” he replied softly, “I don’t either.”
Jungkook frowned. “He still hasn’t checked in yet?”
“No.”
He didn’t want to prod any further. Jimin was probably more worried about Taehyung than any of them. While it was unsurprising that he went off on his own, it was unlike him to not have checked in by now. Taehyung wasn’t a morning person, which was why they all knew that he hadn’t slept while he was on the hunt.
Then again, none of them were really sleeping.
A soft ache throbbed at Jungkook’s temple. He pressed a hand to his chest, taking a small amount of comfort in feeling his wedding band dangling from the necklace chain. He didn’t know how much longer he could handle not knowing what was happening with Eden.
“Hyung, I—”
“She’s fine, Jungkook-ah.” Jimin’s words sliced through his own, as if he’d already predicted what he was going to say. When he met his brother’s gaze, he saw the reassuring smile tinged with just a hint of worry. “If I know her, she’ll make them regret the day they decided to take her.”
“Not before I do.”
Suddenly, Jimin and Jungkook’s phones chimed simultaneously – indicating they received a message. Both looked at their phones immediately and Jungkook felt his heart rate escalate. It wasn’t a matter of him losing hope as seeing the message renewed his vigor.
It was from Taehyung.
Taehyung: I found her. She’s near Namyangju in Gyeonggi-do. Somewhere in the Industrial District. I’m heading back now.
Jungkook looked at Jimin the same time he did. Without uttering a word, they flung the doors open to the car and hopped in. Jimin fired up the engine and punched it, speeding out of Gangnam. Jungkook stared at his phone as more messages came through from the others. It didn’t take him long to figure out that they were closer to that location than everyone else. It was a half an hour drive, traffic willing.
They’d get there first.
10:17 AM
Namyangju – Gyeonggi Province South Korea
Jungkook felt like it took them a hundred years to get to their destination. With every mile marker they passed, it brought him one step closer to finding Eden. One step closer to bringing her home. He clung to the smallest shreds of his willpower not to scream at Jimin to drive faster. They didn’t need to get into any kind of accident before they reached her.
Jimin swung the car into an empty street, the desolate district eerie even in the morning light. Jungkook tumbled from the passenger side, all but tearing his seatbelt from his body in the process. Jimin called after him, but he paid him no mind. His legs ate up the ground as he ran headlong into the central area of the decrepit buildings.
No one lived in the abandoned sections of the province anymore, but the government hadn’t bothered with tearing it down. His hope began to dwindle, realizing just how expansive the district was. It would take them hours to find her at this rate.
Resisting the urge to scream, he slowed to a jogging pace before stopping altogether. Running around blindly without a single clue as to where to look would get him nowhere. They were just wasting time. There was even the chance that the group would up and relocate themselves before they could even have a chance at finding them.
Eden would be lost forever.
He heard Jimin run up behind him, clapping a hand to his shoulder. Jungkook did his best to tether his scattered thoughts, chasing away the worst possibilities from his mind. He needed to calm down and think.
“There were a few cars parked near the back,” he said after catching his breath, “we might need to go up top to get a better idea of where they might be.”
Jungkook nodded, pointing straight ahead. “I’ll head to that building down there. Text me if you find anything.”
Just as he was about to take off, Jimin grabbed him – halting his movements.
“No, we stick together.” Jungkook opened his mouth to protest, but Jimin’s glare quickly silenced him. “If something happens, we won’t be able to do anything alone. We’re stronger together.”
While he wanted to argue, he knew that his brother was right. Even if splitting up would help them cover more ground, there was a good chance that they wouldn’t have a way to defend themselves if they got caught in a sticky situation. Jungkook did his best to push down his mounting impulsivities. Charging in blindly was foolish and would most likely get them killed.
“Alright, Hyung,” Jungkook said, relenting, “let’s go together.”
Not wasting another moment, they tore off down the center of the district – eyes rapidly searching in every direction their necks would allow them to turn.
10:32 AM
Minutes crept by at a snail’s pace.
Jungkook did everything he could to keep his head together. There were too many horrifying images playing rapidly in his head, like a flipbook that ended in blood splatters. Jimin stayed at his side, matching his pace as well as his fervor. Every so often, they would stop to peek into various buildings. They climbed up to higher vantage points to get a better lay of the area, dipping off to resume their search.
Everything looked so dead from the inside out.
A scream tore through the vast emptiness, causing Jungkook to trip over his own feet and he came crashing to the ground. Jimin was immediately beside him, grabbing him by the arm and hoisting him back up. Jungkook’s heart pounded double-time in his chest; it hurt. A cold sweat broke out over his skin and he couldn’t stop his body from trembling, even though Jimin rubbed small circles on his back.
“E-Eden,” he barely managed to croak, his legs shaking to the point where it was difficult to stand. Jimin continued to hold him up. “That was her!”
The sound was close.
Jimin said nothing. He continued to guide them along the path, turning around corners until he heard his wife scream again. It was even closer. They were almost to her!
He felt his brother release the hold he had on him and Jungkook involuntarily sagged against the side of a building. He didn’t know where they were or how deep into the district they’d gone. Jimin’s expression was focused and if he was feeling any sort of turmoil, it never showed. Not once.
The building they were pressed against was yellowed from age and neglect. Numerous cracks ran along the sides and bits of paint were peeling back; some pieces flying away from even the slightest gust of wind. The window had a long crack running from an upward angle to the corner of the pane; dirty and smudged. Jimin wiped a hand across the bottom to get rid of the dirt so he could see inside. Jungkook sidled up beside him to peek in as well.
He could feel Jimin’s vice-like grip on his shoulder, pinning him in place. Jungkook’s vision blurred momentarily before regaining focus, zeroing in on the image of his wife strung up like some animal. There were a few lackeys around and appeared to be bored – as if they were waiting for something interesting to happen. Jungkook felt the muscle at his jaw throbbing viciously as he clenched his teeth, grinding them in anger.
He wanted a gun. He would have emptied a clip into every single one of them.
Jungkook tried to move, but Jimin wouldn’t let him go.
“Hyung!” came his harsh whisper, but Jimin shook his head roughly.
“Wait, Jungkook,” he hissed back, finally letting him go, “just wait.”
“I can’t, dammit!”
“You can and you will.” Jimin’s words were final. “We don’t even know what kind of weapons they have in there. If Changkyun’s willing to play dirty like this, there’s no guarantee that his men won’t fill us full of holes with guns they obtained illegally.”
Jungkook wanted to protest, but he knew that Jimin was right. They needed to assess the situation fully before making a move. If they ran in there blindly without understanding what they were up against, there was a chance that Eden would die in the crossfire.
“So what now?”
Jimin continued to look through the window and he could see the wheels in his head turning. Strategy was his strongest suit so Jungkook did his best to be as patient as possible. A handful of seconds passed before he turned to meet his gaze.
“I’m going to go in from the front.”
“What?!” Jungkook gave him an incredulous look. “That’s crazy. Are you crazy?!”
“Shut-up and listen to me.” Jimin turned to look back through the window. “I’m going to draw their attention to me. This window is loose so as soon as I get them to chase me, I want you to go in and grab Eden and then get the hell out of here.”
He didn’t like this plan.
“There’s ten of them, Hyung. Maybe more. You can’t outrun them all.”
Jimin grinned, still peering into the building. “I can try.”
Jungkook grabbed his shoulder. “Hyung!”
He felt his arm being yanked off abruptly, causing him to take a step back. Jimin cast an icy glare in his direction.
“Do what I say.”
He wanted to protest again. He wanted to tell him that this was suicide. They should wait for the others. Wouldn’t that have been the smart thing?
But if they waited too long, then they may miss their chance. The Jade Fangs could probably swarm them, call for more men, and then overtake them completely. Jungkook knew that the plan was the best option they had right now.
It didn’t mean he had to like it.
Without waiting for him to agree or even disagree, Jimin turned and ran down one side of the building. He rounded the corner and disappeared on the other side, leaving Jungkook alone to wait. There was a distinct feeling of dread sweeping over him, telling him that there was danger to watch out for. But wasn’t that obvious? Didn’t they understand that, knowingly showing up to this place?
This was unavoidable.
A loud bang rang out inside the large interior. Jungkook peered over the bottom of the window, craning his neck as best he could. Light flooded into the dark space as he watched Jimin’s shadow stretching along the floor. All the men inside turned around, grabbing what weapons they had near them to launch an assault. Jimin immediately dispatched one of the lackeys close to the door before turning to run away from the building. All but two gave chase.
Now!
Jungkook thrust the window open, causing it to break further from the force. He leaped in through the opening and charged forward. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction caused by his entrance, Jungkook barreled into the man closest to him – taking him down with a swift grappling throw. The man landed on his head; a distinct crack heard from his skull smacking into the concrete.
He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, a flash of silver, and he dodged at the last second. Whirling his body around, he jumped back with his arms extended out as another man tried to hit him with a metal bat. Jungkook bobbed and weaved out of the way, moving just out of reach at the last possible moment. Pivoting on his back leg, he waited for the man to try to swing at him again before catching the bat in his hand and pulling it toward him. The man slid on his heels, the distance closing rapidly. Jungkook aimed a kick straight for his stomach and sent him flying.
He brought the bat down over the man’s head for good measure.
With the two men unconscious, Jungkook swerved around and ran toward Eden. He did his best to avoid looking at her injuries, not wanting to distract himself from the most important task he had: freeing her. As he looked at her restraints, he did his best to concentrate on her face. She was semi-conscious, the noise bringing her out of whatever fugue state she was in.
“J-Jungkook-ah?” She coughed. “Y-You shouldn’t be here…”
“Shh,” he admonished, his eyes flicking over her bindings, “save your strength.”
His hands moved with lightning speed, fidgeting over the ropes and chains binding her as she hung from a large hook attached to the ceiling. When he finally managed to loosen the ropes, he lifted her up by her waist so he could untether her from the hook. Her arms dangled limply around his neck; the chains clamped around her wrists jingling together with the sudden movement.
Her body lacked the strength to keep herself upright and she nearly collapsed to the ground. Jungkook held fast to her, moving her arms over his head so he could undo the chains around her wrists. He could tell she’d lost weight and she seemed almost a shell of who he knew her to be. He focused on getting her to safety – choosing to smother his fury into the pit of his stomach.
“Go,” she whispered as he held onto her, “get out of here.” She coughed again. “Leave me.”
“Not a chance in hell,” he snapped, draping her arm over his shoulder as he held onto her waist, “now come on.”
Jungkook wouldn’t hear anymore of this nonsense, even if it was coming from the woman he loved. She was barefoot, but there wasn’t any glass on the ground. If she didn’t think she’d be able to walk, he’d carry her on his back and dare her to say otherwise.
Shuffling toward the entrance, he could hear men yelling in the distance. But it sounded like it was getting closer. Jimin was circling back, probably to make sure that they’d gotten out. If they could hold out a little longer, the others would come and then they could cause a big enough scene to get the hell out.
Just as he reached the entryway, he turned to make sure the two men he’d dealt with were still on the ground. Satisfied that they weren’t going to be getting up anytime soon, he turned back toward the exit.
A shadow moved from the corner. Eden saw it before he did. Jungkook shuffled to the left. He was half a step short.
The pain didn’t register at first. All he could focus on was Yoo Kihyun who was now directly in his path to freedom. It wasn’t until he saw the older man take a step forward that Jungkook took a step back. But not of his own freewill. He was forced to step back.
The knife in his gut pushed him to move.
Eden screamed but he barely heard it. Jungkook nearly dropped her, but his stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to fall. Not in front of him; her captor. A chilling smile painted over Kihyun’s face as he tilted his head, peering into Jungkook’s eyes. It was like he was asking him what his next move would be without having to say it out loud. For a split second, Jungkook’s vision blurred.
Releasing the hold he had on Eden’s arm, he grabbed a hold of the knife and pushed back – pulling the blade slowly from his gut. Kihyun blinked in surprise at him, watching as he drew the older man’s arm away from his body while still holding his wife fast to him. Again, Eden screamed, but this time she moved with whatever strength was left in her body – arms reaching out in a feral manner.
She scratched her nails across Kihyun’s face, forcing him to reach up and cover his cheek. Jungkook stepped forward, pulling the knife completely from his stomach, before spinning it in his blood-soaked fingers to grasp the blade’s handle. Kihyun stumbled backward a step and Jungkook quickly closed the distance, plunging the knife directly into his shoulder and aiming a kick to his knee. He waited for him to hit the dirt before pulling Eden quickly behind him.
He didn’t have to express the need for urgency.
They both disappeared into a nearby cluster of reeds.
10:45 AM
Blood wept from the side of Jimin’s head as he rounded the corner of a building. He held onto a rusty metal pipe, clutching it at his side. He knew one of his ribs were broken, if not two, and there was a good chance he very nearly sprained his ankle hopping over a broken-down car to avoid being clobbered with a length of chain. He quickly did a tally in his head, making a note that he was able to knock down four of the eight that were chasing him. Two of them he tripped up along their pursuit and the rest were now trying to comb the nearby streets in search of him.
Hearing Eden’s scream forced him to double back toward the building where he’d left Jungkook. It wasn’t the sound of agony. It was of outrage. Something must have happened. He needed to get back to them and quickly.
Jimin wiped some of the sweat and blood from his head, spitting at the ground. Once his heart calmed down, he tried to ascertain his whereabouts. Just two buildings over and he’d be right back where he’d started.
Come on, Park Jimin. Calm down and focus.
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out, eyeing the screen. It was from Yoongi.
Yoongi: We’re almost there! Where are you guys? Give us a landmark!
Taking a moment to breathe, he turned his head in every direction to try and gauge a decent landmark for the others to follow. There was a cluster of blue barrels far away from the abandoned buildings, just toward the edge where a large field of reeds were. He quickly texted him back, letting him know the location.
He slid the phone back into his pocket, gripping the metal pipe in both hands. Now he just needed to get back to Jungkook who, he hoped, had Eden in tow.
His phone buzzed again; this time in succession. Someone was calling him.
Dipping into a nearby building, he hunkered down in a shadowed corner to look at the phone. It was Jungkook. He answered.
“Jungkook-ah?”
“H-Hyung…”
Jimin could tell something was wrong.
“Where are you?”
“T-The…the reeds…”
He had to refrain from cursing. There were reeds in every direction. He took a breath to calm his nerves.
“What else do you see around you?”
There was a pregnant pause and he wondered if something was happening with the call.
Jimin-ah?”
It was Eden. His heart practically jumped into his throat.
“Oh, thank God he got you out. Are you alright?”
“Never mind that. Jungkook’s hurt.”
He could hear the frantic tone in her voice. Jimin tried to smooth his voice out in a way that would help take the edge off for her.
“Okay, just breathe. Can you tell me where you guys are right now?”
“I can’t really see anything. The reeds are so thick.”
“Can you see any barrels around you?”
“Hold on.”
It was only a few seconds, but Jimin felt like he was losing years off his life as he waited for her to answer.
“I can see some blue ones. But they’re far away.”
He resisted the urge to smile. They weren’t that far from his current location.
“How far?”
“Several yards. They’re across that dirt path.”
“Okay, good.” His side screamed at him from the position he was in, but he ignored it. “I want you to meet me there, okay?”
It sounded like she was about to sob which unnerved him.
“Can’t you just come here? Jungkook’s hurt badly and I don’t have the strength to carry him.”
Jimin hissed quietly to himself. I told him to be careful… He took a breath. “Alright, I’ll come to you. I’ll be there soon.”
“Hurry!”
Ending the call, Jimin slipped out the back of the building and made his way around the next bend. Part of him wanted to throw the pipe off in a different direction, hoping the noise would distract others away from his path. But if they got flanked, he’d need a way to defend Eden, Jungkook, and himself. Especially if Jungkook was as hurt as Eden claimed he was.
This isn’t good, he thought, tearing through the back alleyway and heading up the side of the street to disappear into the thicket of reeds.
10:57 AM
Even though he knew he’d only traveled a few blocks, it felt like he’d been moving for miles. Each turn he made, Jimin thought he was getting more and more lost. Every so often, he’d turn his head to look over his shoulder and spy out the buildings – making sure that he was still on a straight path to the others. He heard some of the other men shouting at each other, trying to figure out where they’d gone, and each of these times, Jimin would pause so that he didn’t give away his position.
Just as he was about to resume his search, he heard a distinct shuffling sound off to his right. It was close.
“J-Jimin-ah? Is that you?”
It was Eden. She sounded exhausted and halfway to the underworld, but it was her. Jimin quickly darted in the direction of her voice, parting the reeds in front of him as he went.
A lump of ice dropped in his stomach at what he saw.
There, cradled in her arms, was Jungkook. A large blood stain blossomed from his shirt and he saw Eden pressing his jacket to his stomach and putting pressure on the injury. She was crying, doing her best to keep her sobs nonexistent so they didn’t alert the others of where they were. She looked up, relief and despair battling for dominance over her features. Jimin dropped the pipe in his hands, his legs slowly carrying him toward Jungkook just as he spit up blood from his mouth.
“J-Jungkook-ah,” he stammered, collapsing to his knees.
Despite the obvious pain he was in, Jungkook flashed him a smile full of blood-stained teeth. “H-Hyung,” he managed to get out, albeit garbled from a mouthful of blood, “what took you so long?”
Jimin didn’t have the energy to snap back. He felt like part of his soul just left him completely. His eyes roved over Jungkook’s body, trying to figure out the cause of his brother’s current state. He lifted his gaze to meet Eden’s.
“What happened?”
“It was Kihyun,” she said weakly while brushing some of the fringe off of Jungkook’s forehead, “he came out of nowhere and—”
“That doesn’t matter,” Jungkook interjected, causing them both to focus on him, “Hyung, get her out of here.”
Another piece of his soul was pulled away.
“W-What?”
Eden shifted him in her arms, clinging to him in desperation. “I’m not leaving you!”
“Yes, you are.” Jungkook reached up to his neck, grabbing the necklace and popping it off in one quick motion. He smeared blood over his skin and clothes, holding it up for Eden. “Take it and go.”
She emphatically shook her head and Jimin could tell that even doing this was zapping her of what strength she had left.
“You bastard,” she muttered, curling her fingers into the fabric of his jacket, “how can you expect me to leave you? Huh?” Eden lowered herself, pulling him against her body to hug him close. “Till death do us part, remember?”
Jungkook did his best to wrap an arm around her, coughing more blood out and staining her shirt. “…and this…is where…we part.”
Eden shot back, looking down at Jungkook as tears streamed down her face, dripping onto his cheeks.
“J-Jungkook,” she stammered, her bottom lip trembling as her voice shook.
Again, he smiled up at her. “I love you, Eden.” He grabbed her hand and placed the necklace inside her palm, closing her fingers over it. “If…if I’m reborn, let me love you in the next life too, okay?”
Jimin could hear his own heart shattering in his chest.
“Hyung…take her and go.”
“But Jungkook-ah—”
“Please.”
Tears leaked out of Jimin’s eyes. It took everything he had, but he stood up and crossed over to where Eden was. She continued to hold onto her husband, refusing to let go even as Jimin tried to pull her up and onto her feet. She fought him but even she knew that she didn’t have the strength to keep it up. Jimin held her against him and they both gazed at the satisfied and peaceful expression on Jungkook’s face. He nodded to them, mouthing for them to go.
Jimin turned, hauling Eden with him as she wailed silently into the crook of his shoulder.
I’ll come back for you, Jungkook. I won’t leave you alone out here...
11:05 AM
He knew that it was only a few minutes since he watched Eden and his brother leave. In those few minutes, Jungkook believed it was several lifetimes. In those few minutes, he thought back to everything that led to this very moment. All the choices he’d made, the road he’d traveled, and the people he’d traveled on that road with along the way.
He regretted nothing up until that moment.
The only thing he knew he would have to repent for would be leaving his beautiful wife behind alone. They’d had a few chapters written in their life together, but they were pages filled with hopes and dreams for an uncertain future. Life never gave guarantees. The only certainty for life was death. It was the same for everyone.
The sun was reaching its peak over the skies. There were very little clouds littering the pale blue blanket above him and he wasn’t sure if it was the bright light that was making it difficult to see or something else. Jungkook lost feeling to the lower half of his body nearly two minutes earlier.
Again, he coughed and more blood sprayed from his mouth. Tears brimmed his eyes, slipping from the corners to seep into his ears.
My brothers…
Jungkook could feel his eyelids growing a little heavier with each passing second, but he forced them to stay open.
Eden…
But the darkness began to creep around the corners of his vision, blurring out the light until it was a faint glow in his line of sight.
He wanted to keep feeling the warmth of the sun on his face until the very end.
…until we meet again.
A scenario of a date with GOT7 yugyeom at an amusement park please :-)
Suzy : Hello again. How are you guys?? So this is my next fic. Hope u enjoy this ^^ I really did enjoy writing this ^ Ask box is open ^^ The other fics of mine u can find on my blog ^^ Have a good time ^^ ____________________
GOT7 Yugyeom - An amusement first date
”_____!” someone called your name. It was Yugyeom and you two decided to spend your first date here in an amusement park. He came to you and said : “_____-ah. I’m glad that you came. Did you wait for a long time?” “Oppa. I’m glad too. I just arrived.” you said, smiled at him. He smiled back and said : “_____-ah! You look really cute and beautiful today. I like these dress.” You blushed immediately at his words. You wore your favorite lacy white dress and the little pink cute bow in your hair. “Thank you Oppa!” you replied, still shy. “Uhu…Come on, _____-ah. Let’s go on some attractions. Which one do you want to go. The roller coaster or the haunted house?” he took you by the hand and guided you to the atractions. “The haunted house?” you asked. “Yeah..I hope it won’t be a lit of people. I hate to wait for the long time.” “Ok, but… I-I really don’t like to be in some dark rooms so…” “Oh, are you afraid of the dark?” he asked, looked at you with concerned eyes and squeezed your hand tightly. “N-no?” you saus carefully. “_____. Don’t lie to me. If you don’t want to go there we don’t have to…” “No!” you cut him off. “No… I mean… I know you really want to go there. I’ll go with you.” “A-are you sure?” he asked, a little bit worried. “Y-yeah.” you said, a but nervous. “Just be by my side.” you whispered. He smiled at you and hugged you tightly : “_____-ah. Don’t worry. I’ll always be by your side. I promise.” You didn’t say anything. You were so touched by his words. He was so cheesy. Your heart was beating so quickly and you felt butterflies in your stomach. You were really happy, nobody else made you feel like this before. He was the first and you were glad that was Yugyeom. You two stood there for a while in each other’s embraces, he stroking you hair, your face burried in his stomach, smelling his scent. “Thank you Oppa.” you said after a while. “Anything for you princess.” he said, smiled brightly at you. “Ok, so now let’s go on the roller coaster.” “Alright Oppa.” you responded. Hand in hand you went with him to your destinatio which was the roller coaster, both sat down on the seats. “Let me help you.” he said while checking you seatbelt. He was done and took your hand, looked at you : “Ok _____. I was on this many times. It’s nothing about to worry, ok?” he said, squeezed your hand tightly. “Ok Oppa.” you said quietly. Suddenly it started to go. You started to panic and squeezed nearly crushing his hand. He smiled at you and just this simple thing give you a lot of courage. It reached the top and you looked down. Wow, it was so high. You wanted just to stay calm so you tried to not screaming a lot. But what surprised you was Yugyeom’s screaming. He was screaming like a little girl. You find it really funny and all your worrying vanished away. Truthfully you enjoyed the ride. Finally the ride ended and you got off first. Yugyeom got off after you and looked like without the soul. ” Oppa. I really enjoyed the ride. How about you?” you asked him. “Uh…what? Yeah…” he replied “Oppa. Why are you look like a ghost?” “Uhu…Really?” he said uncertainly. “Oppa. You were scared, weren’t you?” ” Uh…I-I…” he scratched his head. “You were really scared.” you said, started to laugh. “Hey, don’t laugh at me.” he said, pouting. You couldn’t resist and kiss him in the lips. You were in schock of your onws actions. You pulled away. He stood there disbelief, his eyes nearly popped out. You were speechless : “Oppa. I’m so sorry. I really didn’t know what I was doing. I-I…” you couldn’t say anything because he cut you off by kissing your too. He oulked away and said : That’s okay _____-ah. I wanted to do it too.” You blushed at his statement. You started to feel so shy. You played with your fingers, you stood there looking down at your shoes. Suddenly you felt your chin was lifted by his hand to make you look at him. “_____-ah. I really like you. No, I never felt like this before. I think…maybe…I think I love you. Yeah. I am in love with you. I love your innocence, I love your smile, your eyes, your voice. Everything. You are the first and maybe the last girl that I love. Please be mine forever.” he said to you, sincerity in his eyes. Your heart skipped a beat. No, maybe couple of beats. You couldn’t believe it. The only boy that you ever loved confessed to you that he was in love with you too. You were still looking at him when you felt something hot on your cheeks. You were crying of happiness. “_____-ah. Did I say something wrong? Why are you crying? _____-ah!” he started to panic, shaking you by your shoulders. You didn’t respond but you quickly hugged him tightly to stop him. “Pabo. Pabo. I love you too.” you said. “Really?” he asked in disbelief. “You think that I’d lie about this?” you said, slowly ending the crying. “I’m sorry but I am just really happy.” he said, smiled brightly. “I’m happy too.” “So. Is that mean that we’re a couple now?” he asked you. “Hm. Maybe…” you said, smiled at him. “I think we are. Ok princess. We have a lot of to do now.” he said and took your hand, guided you to some stalls with games. He decided that you won’t go to the haunted house. He said that he didn’t want his princess to be scared of things like this. You two had a lot of fun. You were playing games together, sharing foods like candy cotton, he won you the bear with heart and the sign I love you. “Wow, _____-ah. I really enjoy it today. What do you want to do next?” he asked you. “I’m sorry Oppa but it’s quite late so I think that I’ll go home.” you said, looked at him with the sad look. You really didn’t want this day to end. You were so happy with him. “You have the truth. I will walk you home then.” he said, smiled at you. “Ok Oppa.” you replied and hand in hand you two together went slowly to the entrance. “Oh Oppa. Let’s take a pic. There’s a photo booth.” you said excitedly and you ran to it. “Hey, _____. Wait for me.” he shouted and ran to you. You went in, Yugyeom after you and made some crazy pics. You went out to take the pics and looked at them : “Oppa. Look at you here. You look really silly.” You point at one of the pics, laughing. “Hahaha, really funny. But look here, I am not the only one that looks like an idiot.” he said. “What did you say?” you looked at him. “Oh. My _____ is now really scary. Maybe I should run.” he smiled at you, started to go away. “Yeah you should!!!” and you chased after him.
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is it your birthday? well if it is, happy birthday!! heee can I request a scenario when you break up with Jongin for some reasons, not like bcs he cheated or what but bcs like, you just thought that it's better for his career and can you make it like after the break up he chase you and kiss you passionately and tell you that he doesn't care as long as you're with him? heeee sorry if it was too much to ask ^^
Suzy : Hi. My birthday was in February but thank you ^^ Kai…one of my fav members in EXO ^^ Hope you like it ^^ The other fics of mine you can find on my blog ^^ The request box is open guys ^^
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EXO Kai - Stay with me
"Let’s break up." you said to Kai. He just came home from the practise, exhausted. “What?” he couldn’t believe what you said. “You heard me. Let’s break up.” you said again more coldly than before but inside your heart was broking. “I heard that!” he shouted angrily. “But why? Do you have anybody else? You don’t love me anymore…did you ever love me?” he said, the hurt in his voice was so evident. “I…I-I…” you didn’t know what to say. All of these things weren’t true. You were madly in love with him. He was your first love and you know that you won’t ever love anybody else. You just saw some posts on the Internet. You two went public with your relationship month before. You two were together fpr one year and were so happy. You both thought that his fans would cheer for your relationship but the most of them hated you. They said that you’ll ruin his career, that you are nothing, you’re ugly, fat etc. But this wasn’t the biggest problem. Today was the point to make you kniw that you really can’t live like this. Flashback : “Hey, are you _____, Kai’s girlfriend?” you heard someone said and you looked around, saw the group of girls. “Yeah. Can I help you?” you said politely. “That’s really her. We are Kai’s fans. And we want to congratulate you.” “Yeah. You two are ours favorite couple.” “Yeah. You are really cute together.” they said to you, make you smile back. “Ah. Really? You guys are so sweet. Thank you guys.” “Yeah. Unni. Can I call you like that. Ugh…we are so jealous. Hope you will take a good care of him.” “Yeah. Uh…do you want some water? It’s so hot today.” “That’s alright guys. I have to go now.” you said politely and started to go away. “Wait…just take your water please.” You turned around to look at them but you just feel that something cold was on you. One of the girls spilled all of the water on you. You were in schock. “Hahahaha. And she thought that we like her.” “Just look at you. Oh you poor girl. I really don’t know how could the sexy dance machine of EXO chose you as your girlfriend. You’re so ugly and fat.” “Maybe you’re with him because of his fame, isn’t it like that?” SLAP!!! One of the girls slapped you so hard that you fell. You quickly touched your cheek, hissed in pain. “Oh. Did it hurt? Maybe you now know how we feel.” “You just should break up with him.” “You don’t deserve him.” “He should dates someone like him. Some idols.” “Or at least girls like us.” You were really hurt at their words. You didn’t know that you were crying until you felt something hot on your cheeks. “Oh. She’s crying. Maybe we should go to let her cry here alone.” “Poor you.” one of the girls said to you sarcastically. “Let’s go girls. Why we should waste the time with these kind of people. Hahahahaha.” and they walked away. You was there still on the ground, thinking of what happened a while before. You didn’t think about that it’s gonna be that bad. You knew that not much fans will like you but you thought they would cheer for your relationship because of Kai. But today was the day that made you think differently. Maybe they were right. Maybe you’re not a good match to him. So you decided to break up with him and now you are here with him. “I…I-I…” you didn’t know what to replied. “Why you’re not saying anything. Don’t say that you don’t have any reasons. Do you love anybody else that you’re doing this? Say something!” he shouted at you made you flinched. “I’m sorry.” you whispered. “I’m leaving now.” you grabbed your suitcase that Kai didn’t notice before. “Good bye Jongin.” you said and opened the door to leave. Kai looked up at you and saw the tears on your cheeks and the bruise on it. Before he could say something you left. He sat there still thinking about what happened. He couldn’t believe that you really left, let him alone. His was in his trance when sudenly he got a call. He checked the name..it was Kyungsoo. ‘That’s not her.’ he thought to himself. “Hello. Hyung…what do you need?” “Kai. You didn’t see that yet?” “See what?” he asked, a bit confused. “The news. It’s about _____ and saesangs.” “What?” Kai shouted, nearly dropped the phone on the floor. “Just watch it. It’s on channel 5 now.” Kai quickly turned on the TV. “The saesangs attacked the girlfriend of one of EXO members. They spilled the water on her and slapped on her cheek. It wasn’t the first time that saesangs attack…” Kai stopped to listen to zhe news. ‘That’s why she had a bruise on her cheek.’ he thought to yourself. Suddenly he realised that this was the reason that she left. He didn’t waste the time anymore and chased after you. You couldn’t be so far. He hoped you’re still near. He were looking for you in the park when suddenly he saw you sitting on the bench, waiting for the bus. He felt relieved that he found you. He came near to you. “Still wanna leave me?” he said, sat down beside you. “Uh Kai. What are you doing here?” you were surprised. You wanted to act coldly but you couldn’t. He was the man that make your heart warm. “What do you think? To take you back home.” he said simply, smiled at you. “Don’t be silly. I’m leaving.” you stood up, wanted to grab your suitcase but Kai took you by your hand and kissed you passionately. You wanted to pull him away but he was stronger and still kissing you, he hugged you tightly around your waist. You were so weak that you couldn’t resist longer and melted into the kiss, kissing him back. He pulled away first and still embracing you, you both were catching your breaths. “I know everything.” he said, looked down at you. You looked up at him, didn’t know what he was talking about. “What are you…” “About saesangs. They were the reason to leave me. Is that so?” he said, carresed you cheeks. Your tears started to fill your eyes. “How did you…” “I just know it. But why _____. Why did you let them to hurt you like this. Why did you left me? You know that I love you.” “Kai. I know that you love me. But, look. We are from the different worlds. You are an idol who is succesful because of his skills, talents. You’re an amazing dancer, rapper and more. And you’re tall, handsome and, and…just look at me. I’m an average girl, short, I just don’t deserve you. You should find someone that match you well. Who is succesful as you, beautiful, tall not a girl like…” you couldn’t say anything more because he kissed you passionately again. You were the first to pull away. Before you could say anything he started : “Is it what that saesangs told you?” You couldn’t look up at him, you felt ashamed. He lifted your chin and said : _____-ah. I don’t care what they say, what they think I should do or shouldn’t do. I love you and will always love. You’re my sunshine, I’d suffer if you left me. I promise that I will protect you. Please, stay with me. Please. I won’t let anyone to hurt you anymore. I will protect you. I love you _____-ah.” “I-I don’t know…” you said. “I don’t want to ruin your career.” you whispered. “You make my life more brighter. How could you ruin my career.” he said enthusiasticly. “I don’t know.” you whispered, smiled. “Silly. Come on, let’s go home Jagi.” he took your suitcase and you both hand in hand went back home.
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Hi! My birthday is on September 16 and I would love to come home and read your story to finish off my day. :) please write a Hoya scenario? You decide what happens. :) thank you! :) and glad you got a speedy recovery!
Suzy : Hi Sweety! Since it’s your birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I wish you the best! I wish you the most important things which is the health, happiness, love…everything you wish to come true :) I’m sorry but really I’m not good at these things. Hope you’ll understand :) enjoy my birthday gift for you :) and don’t be shy for the next time and make sure to don’t send it as anonymous because I really feel terrible that I can’t properly send you my birthday wish :) ;)
PS: I know that September 16 is on Tuesday but because of the story I just made it on Monday…hope you don’t mind the story is really long. If you don’t like it just inbox me and maybe I will change it :)
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INFINITE Hoya - Happy Birthday!
It’s early morning. You want to wake up, get up from your bed but your body isn’t listening. Your eyes disobeying you. You just want to spend your time in bed, sleeping till afternoon and just let the world behind your back. That’s why you were slowly drifting into a slewp again when
“Beep beep!”
“Urgh!!” you groaned. Really hate your alarm clock. You just shut it down and started to sleep again when suddenly your phone started to ring. You groaned again and with your eyes still closed you blindly take it.
“What!” you said angrily to your phone.
“That’s not nice of you Jagi!” you heard your boyfriend’s voice whined. Your boyfriend is Infinite Hoya and right now he was on tour.
“Oppa! I’m sorry but really. It’s so early morning. Why you’re calling me?”
“Sorry. I just want to say my Jagi Good morning.” he groaned. “And really. It’s 7:30. You should get up. You still have classes to attend, right?”
“You’re silly. I’m not. It’s Sunday.”
“No. It’s Monday Jagi. What did you do that you don’t remember which day is?”
“What?! It’s Monday?”
“Yeah Jagi. GOOD MORNING!” he said cheerfully.
‘That’s why my alarm clock was on.’ you thought to yourself and slap yourself on your forehead.
“Omg! I have to go!” you said quickly.
“But wait. It wasn’t just that what I wanted to say. Ha…”
“I’m sorry Oppa. But I’m in the rush. I have to go! I am busy today. I have classes and work in the afternoon!” you said and quickly got up and rushed into the closet.
“But Jagi!”
“I’ll call you later Oppa. I love you!” and you hang up. You quickly put on your clothes and went into your bathroom to make a daily hygiene, put your makeup and put your hair into a ponytail. You quickly checked yourself in a mirror.
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Your outfit :
“You look good _____.” you smiled to yourself.
You grabbed your things and rushed to a bus stop. Luckily your class starts in 9AM so you’re not late. After 30 minutes you arrived at school.
“Wow. I still have a time. Let’s get a coffee and something sweet to eat.” You went into a nearby coffee shop and ordered your favorite drink and some cute muffins :
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“Omg!! It’s so cute. Hoya Oppa would like it!!” you squealed. “I just send him a pic.” You quickly grab a muffin and took a selca with it near your face with a cute smile. “Oppa. Here’s a gift for you. I know that you love muffins and I just saw this little cute one. Jealous?? When you’ll return we can go and buy it together. Can’t wait to see you! I miss you so much. I Love You Oppa! 💋😘💕” You click on “SEND” with a smile on your face. You quickly checked your watch.
“Twenty minutes to the first class. Let’s go!” you said and grabbed your things to go. You didn’t know why but you felt like today is gonna be special. You’re feeling really happy today. “It’s gonna be a good day today.” you said to yourself.
__________
Finally you’re in class. You sat down on your spot and wait until your class begin.
“Hey _____.” you heard one of your friends said.
“Hi Jess. How you’re doing?”
“I’m great. What about u? It’s your day today.” she said and hugged you.
“What? It’s a normal day.” you asked her confusedly.
“Hey. Don’t say that you don’t know. Sweety. It’s Monday. September 16. It’s your birthday!” she said.
“Oh. Really? I didn’t think about today’s date. Omg! I really can’t believe that I did forget my own birthday!” you were shocked. ‘Really what is with me!’
“That’s alright Honey. I have something for you. Here. It’s a gift from me.” she relieved a little box nicely wrapped by a little ribbon.
“Omg. Thank you so much Jess!” you said and hugged her tightly.
“Hey. You don’t even know what I bought you and you’re nearly squeezing me to death!” she squeeled.
“Oh I’m sorry. I’m just so happy that you remember my birthday.”
“Of course I do silly. Ok. Stop speaking and open it! Come on. I cant wait until you see that.”
“Okay. Okay.” you said and unwrapped the ribbon. You opened the box and you couldn’t believe your eyes.
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“Oh my God! It’s the scarf that I really wanted but it was out of stock! How did you find it?”
“Don’t ask and try it!” she said and hurriedly wrapped it around your neck.
“Yeah. It looks well on you!”
“Omg. Thank you. Thank you so much!” you said and hugged her again.
“You’re welcome _____!” she said. You heard the bell ringing.
“Okay. I have to go. So meet you after school? We’re going to work together.” she said.
“Okay. Meet you at the gate!” you shouted after her and the class immediately started.
__________
The day went quickly. The school wasn’t so stressing. Through the school breaks your friends gave you a lot of gifts. It was so sweet of them. But you just wanted one thing. Just a call or a message from Hoya to wish you happy birthday. He even didn’t send you a reply on your pic you sent in the morning. You know that he was busy but this just made you sad. You were checking your phone again at the school gate.
"Hey, are you ready to go?" Jess came to you.
"Huh? Yeah. That’s why I’m waiting here, right?" you shoved your phone into your pocket and smiled lightly at her.
"Hey! What’s going on? Why you’re so sad? You’re supposed to be happy, right? It’s your day today _____." she asked, looked at you worriedly.
"Ah. It’s nothing. I’m just expecting a message."
"From…Who?" she asked curiously.
"Just from Hoya Oppa. He’s on tour now so we can’t see each other."
"Oh, don’t say that he didn’t wish you happy birthday." she said enthusiasthically. You didn’t reply.
"Oh. Wait. You’re not laughing with me. Really? He didn’t send it?" Silence.
"What a boyfriend! He should text you, call you! It’s not so nice from him! If he was my boyfriend, I would not forgive him!" she said a bit angrily.
"Hey. It’s alright. He’s busy. I understand he has to remember a lot of things."
"It’s your birthday _____. And as your boyfriend he should remember at least this."
"Jess. Calm down. I know but see. It’s my own birthday and even I didn’t remember. Luckily I have my good friends, especially you to remember it." you said and winked at her.
"Okay. Let’s go or our boss would not be that happy as us." you said and linked your arms with her.
"Alright. But when you see Hoya just kick his ass for me." she said, smiled at you.
"You don’t have to worry about it." you replied and you two bursted into a laugh.
__________
Finally you’re going home now. The work was a bit exhausting but you were enjoying it. You quickly checked your phone again.
"Hm…still nothing. He has to be really busy."
You were nearly at your apartment when you saw a silhouette. You thought it was a stranger and you started to feeling afraid. That person turned around and you couldn’t believe it.
"Oh. Jagiya!"
It was Hoya. He ran to you and you saw that he had a bouquet of pink roses.
"Jagiya! I’m so glad that you’re finally here. You don’t know how long I have been here waiting you." he said and smiled at you. You just stood there and watched him like he was an alien and he had fallen from Mars. Maybe you didn’t even breath at the moment.
"Jagiya. Are you okay?" Hoya shook a hand in front of your face.
"Huh…Oppa? What are you doing here?" you asked him, still shocked.
"Sound like you’re not glad that I’m here." he said a bit sadly.
"No…No. I’m so glad that you’re back. OMG! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" you said and jumped up on him. You hugged him so tightly that not just he couldn’t breath but even you couldn’t breath too.
"I missed you too Jagiya!" he whispered and kissed you on the forehead.
"What are you doing here? I thought that you have a tour."
"Yeah. We still have a tour but it’s my Jagiya’s birthday. I can’t miss it. So Happy Birthday." he said and hugged you even tightly.
"Oh. So you do remember." you said and felt warm in your heart.
"Of course I remember. You’re the most important person for me. I have to remember this." he said, smiled at you. You just watched him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. You couldn’t help but kissed him passionately. You just felt really happy to be loved by the most amazing person on this planet. He smiled into the kiss and broke it.
"Wow. Someone really missed me so much." he said and you blushed lightly.
"Of course I did. I love you." you said and smiled shyly at him.
"I love you too." he said and smiled brightly. He took both of your hands and kissed them.
"Wow. My Jagiya’s hands are so cold. Let’s go home to warm them."
"Okay Oppa. But what about a bouquet of roses?" you asked him and pointed at the bouquet on the ground which fell down when you two hugged each other.
"Oh. I nearly forget." he said and grabbed it. He stood in front of you and went down on one knee.
”_____. Will you accept this bouquet as an evidence of my love for you?” he said smiled at you. You were so touched that you started to cry.
"Pabo. Of course I will accept it. I love you!"
"I love you too Jagiya!" he stood up and kissed you.
"Okay. Really let’s go in now. I was freezing here to death!" he said.
"Hey. You want to stay out more?"
"What? NO!"
"So you have to be really fast or I will let you out!" you shouted and started to run to your house.
"Hey. Wait! JAGIYA!"
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So hope you like it! Sorry I am posting it this late but I hope you understand :-)
Show me your love! - EXO Sehun for now :D
Suzy: Hey guys. How have you all been? :) I am so sorry that I did not post something but with my health problems I do not have time for this. But don’t worry. I am starting the new story, still thinking about if there’s gonna be more chapters or not. So guys if you like it just send me a message if you want a SEQUEL! Love you everybody! :) Enjoy the story! ♥♥♥
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“I’m sorry!”
These two words. The heart-broking two words were the last that you heard from his lips. His lips which you miss so much. You were used to feel them on your owns. Which were always whispering you the sweetest things you have ever heard. They were music to your ears which you have listened to always when you were in his embrace that was so heartwarming, when you could always smell his scent from his chest when you two cuddled, he caressing your hair and having his hands around you protectively. You were so happy with him, these little things still surrounding you in a big bubble of memories just don’t make you to forget him but making you craving for him more.
Why he left me? Why?
These similar questions were haunting your brain everyday, every night. It was like a nightmare. You just can’t live without him. He was your everything. He was your happiness, your oxygen for breathing. Now, he was gone. You have nothing. Your heart is broken, your body is soulless, you’re missing the most important things for your living. Will you survive this everything? If you will, how? How will you at first move on? How will you start to enjoy the life again? How will you love again? Will you be alone on this fight to get over him? Or will somebody help you?
It’s really difficult to answer these questions. Maybe you won’t even find the answers. It’s like you were stuck in the bubble. Everything about him is still surrounding you. Your memories, his presents for you, his clothes.
Even now you were in your bed, wearing his big T-shirt that he used to wear always that he stayed at your place.
‘It’s gonna last for a long long time.’ you thought to yourself. You were still thinking about him. It was almost two weeks but the pain is so unbearable. You can’t do nothing else than be like this. Still in your thoughts you heard the ringing from your door.
“Are you serious?” you shouted to the door. You groaned and threw the blanket over your head. Of course the visitor didn’t leave and decided to annoyed you until you finally get up and open the door. You cursed under your breath and kicked angrily your blanket. You went idly to the door and before you know who was there you shouted : “What?!”
“Whoah whoah whoah…Don’t be so rude on me! I’m your bestfriend!” it was Sehun, like he said, your bestfriend since the kindergarten.
“Urgh…what are you doin’ here!” you asked without saying hi and letting him in.
“Ok. You weren’t at school almost for two weeks, you aren’t picking up your phone and…OMG! You look awful!” he said after seeing your face properly. In fact, you were a total wreck. Your hair was a mess, you have circles under the eyes, your ex’s T was on you loosely. You even didn’t eat these two weeks properly so you were like a hanger.
“What happened to you?” he asked, his hands on your shoulders and looking at your face in every angle. You just stood there lifeless, didn’t know what to say. When you just think about the reason, your heart ripped again, your voice stucked in your throat, tears again starting to flow.
“Oh no no no! Don’t cry ____! What happened, just say it to me. You know you can tell everything to me.” he said soothingly, brushing your tears of your cheeks with his thumbs. You know that you can tell him everything. You just don’t want to tell him this. Because it was the fault of you. He had warned you before but you didn’t listen to him.
“Come on ____. If you’ll keep it away from me, I will still find out. But I want to hear it from you. I don’t want to hear that from anybody else, just from you. If you will keep it you will get hurt more. I don’t want you to be hurt. Just say it loud, you’ll gonna feel more better.” he said looking straight into your eyes. Those eyes that always make you trust him.
You calmed down a bit, took a deep breath and started : “He…H-he broke up with me.” you almost whispered. You felt that Sehun tensed up and his hands fisted into a ball. He started to get angry and that worried you. When he’s angry he’s like a different person. You were startled when you saw him angry for the first time and you didn’t want to see that person again.
You hugged him tightly and said : “Sehun, please calm down. I am scared when you’re angry. Please calm down…” you whispered.
After feeling your warm embrace his tensed shoulders dropped and he released his fists. He took some deep breaths and take your hand to let you into your bedroom. He sat you comfortably on your bed, threw a blanket over your shoulders to keep you warm and sat down beside you.
He looked at you and said : “Ok. Tell me everything about that.” he took your hand and made circels with his thumb.
You took a deep breath and started : “H…H-he…” your voice cracked. Your eyes were filling with tears again and your voice stucked in your throat. Sehun hugged you tightly and whispered sweet things with his smooth voice calming you down.
“Shh…that’s okay. I’m here with you. It’s alright.” You calmed down. took some deep breaths again to start.
“H-he said, that he found someone who loves more than m-me. He said that he l-loved me but he do love more that girl. J-just he founded someone better than me!” you shouted and felt like your heart shattered into pieces again. You were crying so loudly, you wanted to all of the pain go out of your heart. It was so unbearable.
“Shh…come on. I’m right here. It’s gonna be okay. I am here with you.” Sehun whispered into your ear soothing you with circular motions on your back he was doing with his hand. You cried a lot on his shoulder, hugging him so tightly, afraid that he would left you.
“P-please stay here with m-me.” you said.
“I’m not going anywhere. I stay with you and be there for you. Forever.” he said and still whispering you the sweetest things until you felt asleep in his lap.
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DENG! It’s the end for now. Just one question for you guys : DO YOU MIGHT HAVE SOME IDEAS WHO HER EX IS? Is one of the exo members…so if you have an idea just inbox me :]
Here’s one little gift from me! Good night!
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EXO Chanyeol - Out of the shell
Suzy : Hi guys. I was still thinking about write somw fic so here it is.
Hope you enjoy :-) Ask box is open ;-) :-) ____________________
The birds were singing. The sun was gazing through the curtains. Everything seem so peaceful. Nearly everything.
Finally you opened your eyes. You were so tired, the pounding in your head was unbearable. You realised that you were in your bedroom. You sigh in relief.
Yesterday you went clubbing with some of your friends and you decided to loose yourself and did drink a little bit.
Ok. You were so drunk that you don’t remember what exactly happened yesterday. You just remember one thing that you saw your crush to be there too. You sigh again, looking up at the ceiling.
‘Did he see me?’ you thought to yourself. It’s been four years that you have a huge crush on him.
PARK. CHAN. YEOL.
Yeah. You have a crush on this tall freaking handsome boy with oh so husky voice that makes your legs wobbly everytime he talks. Unfortunately, he seems like he even doesn’t know your existence!
'Hate my freaking life!’ you slapped yourself on the forehead making the pain more unbearable that wasn’t even possible. You wonder what you did all night.
“Okay. I have to wake up.” you said and starting to sitting up when you did realise a few things.
One. Why were you naked?
Two. Why is your bedroom in a mess like a tornado went through.
Three. Why are the men clothes on your floor. The men clothes!
“Oh no no no! _____! Don’t say that I did something what I think that I did!” you speak to yourself. You slapped your cheeks few times, rubbing your eyes so hardly that they started to hurt, pinched your hands few times but the men clothes weren’t gone, you still weren’t in your so childish hello kitty pyjamas and your room wasn’t so tidy like before.
'Like I am a tidy person.’ you thought to yourself. You grabbed something to cover your body that was the man’s shirt because you were too lazy to go straight into the closet and it was big enough to cover your whole body to your thighs.
You slowly went out of the bathroom to check your whole apartment and you heard the water from the shower. You quickly grab the nearest thing which was the shoe on the floor and quickly went to the bathroom doors. Deciding whether to open the doors and scare the man to death or wait for him to get out when suddenly the door opened. You were so scared that you started to scream causing the intruder scream too. You hold up the shoe and starting to beat him.
“Yah! What are you doing here in my apartment huh?” you shouted at him, beating him at the same time.
“Yah! _____! That’s me. Please stop that!”
You recognised the familiar voice and immediately stopped. There he was. Park Chanyeol standing just with the towel around his waist, the water still dripling from his hair looking at you confused and with fear at the same time.
“C-Chanyeol! What.. w-hat are you doing here!” you asked him maybe the most stupid question. It was obvious right?
“Uh…I was taking the shower if you don’t mind. I didn’t want to wake you up from the peaceful sleep so I just slipped from the bedroom. But what are YOU doing here with the shoe in your hand?” he asked you amusingly.
You looked at your hand realising that you’re still holding that shoe so you quickly hide it behind your back, blushed slightly looking down to your legs.
You scratched your neck and said : “Hm…I thought that you were some intruder that was so perverted and slept with me. I was so shocked when I saw the men clothes in my room.” you looked at him innocently.
"Aha. You thought someone broke into your house and slept with you?” he asked, his lips in a smirk.
“ Yeah. I know it’s weird but you know. I was so shocked that I didn’t think clearly on the first place. I am so sorry that I beat you.” you said a bit ashamed.
“That’s okay. But why you would were the intruder’s shirt. Or you wanted to seduce him?” he asked you causing to look at him with your jaw dropped.
“W-what are you talking about? Of course not!” you were out of words. You slapped him on the arm making him laugh. His question surprised you. You didn’t think about that. You just put it on to cover yourself. His laugh didn’t stop making you sigh. You turned around and went into the bedroom again, leaving him and the shoe on the floor.
“Hey _____, don’t be mad at me. It was just a joke!” Chanyeol said and followed you.
You sat down and looked at him. “Chanyeol. What did happen yesterday?” you asked him.
He raised his eyebrow and asked : “You don’t remember?”
“Okay. I think that I was too drunk to remember that, right?” you said, crossing your hands.
“Yeah. That’s true.” he said and sat down beside you, looking at you.
'Please just don’t say that I did something stupid!’ you thought to yourself, looking down at your swinging legs. Only God knows what happened yesterday. And Chanyeol.
“To say the truth, I don’t remember it too.” he said. You looked up at him shocked. You were looking at him, looking for some hints that he was joking. But you found nothing.
Suddenly, he cracked into the laugh. You grinned at him and starting to slap him on his arm. “Yah! Tell me the truth!” you shouted at him.
“Okay okay. I will. Just please stop beating me!” he recovered from his laughing routine and cleared his voice.
“Okay. Yesterday we met in the club, you confessed to me.” he said now seariously.
“What? I confessed to you?” you were shocked again.
“Yeah. You did.”
'Oh my God! I am dead!’ you thought.
You were so embarrassed. How could you confessed to a guy that you like. No! You LOVE him! And that’s the problem. He’ll never date a girl like you. He’s everything that consists the word ‘PERFECT’ but you were just an average girl which is gonna be his fan and admiring him from afar.
You were still looking at your legs when you felt fingers on your chin causing you to look at him.
“Do you want to know what happened here?” he asked you nicely. You weren’t sure if you wanted but you felt that you nodded and gulped hardly.
“You were so drunk that I insisted driving you home. When we arived you were still sleeping so I caried you up. I put you on your bed and before I went away you holded my hand and said : I LOVE YOU. I turned around to looked at you but you already kissed me on the lips.” he said, looking at you.
You were so ashamed and looked down but his fingers made you to looked at him again.
He looked deeply into your eyes and said : “You know what happened next?”
You shooked your head and waited for him to start speaking again.
“I did make a love with a girl that I love.”
Your eyes widened at the realisation of his words. You looked at his eyes finding the sincerity and love.
“Y-you love me?” you asked him.
“Yeah. Since I first saw you at the library. You were reading a book at the corner of the library. You looked so beautiful and stunning. I did want to go to you but I was just a coward to go and introduce myself to you.” he confessed.
You were so taken aback by his confession that you didn’t realise you were crying. He gently wiped your tears with his thumbs and kissed you on your forehead.
“I am so glad that you confessed to me _____ or I wouldn’t be able to be here beside you. I love you!” he said and hugged you tightly.
“I love you too Oppa!” you said and smiled at him. He smiled back and kissed you lovingly. His lips were so warm and soft sending electricity through your body. He broke the kiss making you press your forehead with his. You looked up at him and pout.
He noticed that and asked : “What happened Jagiya?”
'Omg! He called me JAGIYA! Oh ma feelz!’ you thought.
“Oppa. I am just sad that I don’t remember our first love making."He laughed making you smile and blush a bit.
"Jagiya! I didn’t know that you were that perverted!” he smirked at you.
“Yah! I am not perverted!” you denied. He didn’t say anything and kissed you passionately making you out of breath.
“Let’s change it than.” he said huskily and kissed you again.
Seems like you’re not gonna admire him from afar anymore.
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Show me your love! - EXO Sehun ... (PART 2)
Suzy : Hey guys, the second part is out!
Hope you enjoy it. Still deciding if I should reveal the second member or not. Have a good day! :)
___________________
Part1
You woke up to the bird's chirping. The sunlight was passing through the curtains.
'Today's gonna be the nice weather.' you thought to yourself. Despite the sunny day you didn't want to get up and enjoy your day outside feeling the sun rays on your skin. You just wanted to stay at home, laying on your bed all day and just let your desperate life more sad and terrible.
You sighed heavily when suddenly you heard your doors opening and felt an incredible smell of food making your stomach growl and the saliva flow out of your mouth.
"____!!! Wake up! Come on! You just can't stay at home like this when it's so beautiful outside." said the person. It was nobody else than Sehun. He put the plate on the nightstand and shook you lightly.
"Urgh!!!" you groaned annoyingly.
"Uh! Come on ____! You can't stay like this forever. You have to go out." Sehun tried to pull you out of the blanket but you holded it tightly.
"I don't want to! Let me be!" you shouted and tried to kick him off.
"YAH!! WAKE UP!!!" he shouted and took the blanket off of you and threw it on the other side of the room.
"YAH! OH SEHUN!" you shouted back, sat up and looked at him angrily. He on the other hand looked so happy with a big grin on his face which you wanted to brush it off oh so badly.
"Finally you're up." he said calmly.
"What are you doing?" you said, your hands crossed and a pout on your lips.
"I'm helping you." he said calmly, he took the plate into his hands and sat down next to you.
"With what?"
"Just to making your life better. Look at you. You're a bundle of misery, reminiscing on the person that left you. What do you think he's doing now? Acting like you, laying on the bed all the day, crying his pain off?" he said and looked at you. You were speechless, didn't know what to say.
"I bet that he doesn't. He is now with his girlfriend that he loves. Do you think that he will think about you? About your love, your heart that you gave him, about days you two spent together. No, he doesn't ____-ah. He is happy with someone else now."
His words just pierced through your heart. You didn't want to admit it but he was right. The one who's in pain was you. Not him. You are suffering now, he doesn't know how it hurts. He doesn't know the feeling of that pain but he is the person who caused it. You felt your tears started to run.
Sehun gently whipped them by his thumbs and placed both of his hands gently on your cheeks causing to look at him.
"____. You have to move on. Just forget him and turn the paper to the next chapter. Let's change your life today, let's start a new story. Let's get on a journey and find a new lifestyle. Let's discover the new way of love, the more beautiful sides of love." he said and placed his lips gently on your forehead, giving you the sweet kiss.
You lost your breath. You didn't know why but the feeling of the kiss sent you the electricity through your veins to every part of your body. It was like you were newborn and ready for the new chapter of your life. You hugged him tighly around his waist and whisper : "Will you help me?"
"I will. Let's start a new life together." he said into your ear.
"Together." you whispered and fall asleep again in his embrace due the exhaustion of all the crying.
_____________________
Ok. This is quiet short but I wanted to end her desperate life and starting her new life in the new chapter.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter :]
Here's the Prince! :)
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This was really cute. Glad I read it. 💜💜💜
I DARE YOU.
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Felix x reader. (s)
Synopsis: The shy you meet the charming stranger, Felix, through a dare that leads you both into a whirlwind of a night filled with new, unexpected things. (17,6k words)
Author's note: It’s a late bday fic for Felix. I had soooooo much fun writing the smut in this one and I rarely said that so I hope you had fun too reading it x
Not this—being in a loud, dark club with Rex and her friends, a group of people you barely know, and the alcohol in your glass isn't any less foreign, a poor substitute for your usual chamomile tea.
A typical Friday night for you usually means snuggling on the sofa with your favorite blanket, a book in hand, and a cup of tea.
The music is thumping, the strobing lights flickering incessantly, and the sheer chaos of it all overwhelms your senses. It's overstimulating, like stepping into a world where you don't quite belong.
But here you are, trying to push past your comfort zone for one night, specifically for your best friend, Rex. You make the exception because it's her birthday.
You've known Rex since high school, and to this second, you're still not entirely sure how you two became best friends.
Rex is everything you aren’t—fierce, vibrant, and unapologetically confident—while you are introverted, shy, and awkward. Yet somehow, in that contrast, you found something that clicked. Maybe it's the way she effortlessly pulls you out of your shell or the way she always has your back without needing to say much.
For almost eight years now, this unlikely bond has stood the test of time, bridging the gap between your quiet, dull world and her wild, colorful one.
However, at times, the stark contrast between you and Rex pushes you to the edge. She thrives on excitement, constantly seeking new experiences, while you cling to routine. You like the comfort of predictability—having the same breakfast every day, enjoying the calm of your familiar surroundings. Rex, on the other hand, is always nudging you, sometimes even shoving you, to break free from that comfort zone. She wants you to explore, to live a little, and while you appreciate her intentions, it can feel overwhelming. She never seems to understand that trying new, exciting things isn’t natural for you the way it is for her.
Just like tonight. Rex has convinced everyone to play Never Have I Ever, and it quickly becomes apparent how out of place you are.
Every statement, every confession, is about wild, reckless things—everything you’ve never done. With each round, your glass remains untouched while everyone else takes shots, laughing as they reveal their mischievous pasts.
By the time the group is tipsy and lightheaded from confessing their wild and naughty escapades, you are still as sober as ever, quietly sitting there, feeling even more like a fish out of water.
Rex eventually notices your lack of participation. She puts down her glass and says, “Alright, this is getting boring. Let’s change the game!”
You notice her eyes flicking to you, and you feel your heart sink. “But I’m having fun,” you assure her, forcing an awkward laugh.
Your words are not entirely false. It isn’t like you aren’t having fun—it just isn’t your kind of fun.
Rex smirks, knowing you too well. She can see through your calm façade. “Sure you are. Alright, Never Have I Ever cheated on a test?"
Everyone else laughs, raising their glasses to take a shot, but your glass stays put.
“Guys, you shouldn’t cheat on...” your words trail off as you notice the looks they give you.
“See?” Rex says, turning back to you. “It’s not fun if you’re not participating.”
You scoff, but you can't really argue. It's true. The game isn’t exactly designed for someone like you.
“I’m still having fun,” you insist with a faint smile, but even you can hear how fake that sounds.
Rex lets out a sigh and scoots closer to you. “It’s my birthday, and I want my best friend to have fun on my birthday.”
One of her friends groans, putting her glass down with an exaggerated eye roll. “Whatever, I’m hitting the dance floor.” She slides out of the booth, and the rest follow, leaving you and Rex alone.
Maybe Rex’s birthday has become a bit boring because of you, but you told her before that you would’ve preferred a small gathering at your apartment, maybe just the two of you.
“I’m sorry I’m ruining your birthday,” you mumble, feeling guilty for being a party pooper and aware that it's unfair to her.
However, Rex’s attention has already drifted elsewhere—on someone, to be exact. She turns her head back at you with her eyes twinkling with mischief.
“He’s been checking you out,” she whispers against the loud music.
You snort and shake your head in disbelief, glancing in the direction she subtly nods toward, checking if she's telling the truth.
Across the room, a guy with bleached blond hair and tattooed hands sits casually, dressed in a leather jacket. His fair skin and delicate features are striking, but you can’t help but laugh to yourself. There is no way he is checking you out—not when Rex, your stunning, lively best friend, is sitting right next to you.
Before you can argue, Rex turns your head toward him. Your eyes lock with his instantly, and your heart skips a beat. You tell yourself it's just the loud, thumping music making your chest pound like that. He smiles faintly at you, and you quickly look away, feeling heat rise in your cheeks.
“Okay, new game!” Rex suddenly announces, clapping her hands.
You blink in shock. “Wait, what?”
“Don’t worry, it’s just between you and me,” Rex says with a mischievous grin, taking a second to sip her drink.
You raise an eyebrow, wary of what she has in mind. “Okay...?” you respond nervously.
“Truth or dare,” Rex finally reveals, her eyes gleaming with trouble. “But here’s the twist—there’s no truth.”
“Rex, I don’t—” you begin, but she cuts you off by covering your mouth with her hand.
“It’s my birthday,” she says, her voice low yet commanding. “You’re obliged to do whatever I ask.”
You sigh, nodding reluctantly. Rex removes her hand and holds yours instead, her fingers cool and reassuring despite her devious smile.
“My dear best friend,” she says, that mischievous grin lingering on her red-painted lips, “I dare you to kiss that guy.”
Your eyes follow her finger, and it's pointing at the bleached blond guy with the tattooed hands across the room.
“What? No way!” You blurt out, eyes widening in shock.
“Come on! It’s just a kiss. You can do it," Rex says casually, showing how different the two of you view this dare. She then squeezes your hand and adds, "Besides, he’s been staring at you all night.”
Your heart pounds, not from the music but from the sheer terror of Rex’s dare. Kiss a stranger? In a club? You aren’t Rex—confident and fearless. You’re the girl who barely participated in Never Have I Ever because the wildest thing you’ve ever done is stay up late to study for finals.
“But I… I don’t know him,” you stammer, your palms getting sweaty on your lap.
“That’s the point of the game!" Rex says lightly. "And it’s not like he hasn’t noticed you. He smiled, didn’t he?”
The idea terrifies you, but there is also a small part of you—buried deep under all the shyness and caution—that is curious. What if you step out of your comfort zone for once? What if you do something wild, something you’d never do on your own?
As if she hears your thoughts, Rex leans closer and softly says, “You’ve spent your whole life playing it safe. It’s just one kiss. What’s the worst that could happen?”
You glance back toward the guy. He’s still sitting there, calm and collected, his long bleached-blonde hair falling effortlessly around his face. He hasn’t looked away since your brief, flustered glance earlier. Instead, he seems… unfazed, but there’s something curious in his eyes, like he’s still watching, waiting.
“I can’t,” you mutter again, shaking your head, feeling that familiar wave of discomfort rise in your chest.
Rex leans in closer, holding your hand gently. “Look, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to have fun for once, not think about everything so much. You trust me, right?”
Of course you trust her. Rex has been by your side for eight years, through thick and thin. As wild as she is, she always has your back, no matter what.
The logical part of your brain screams at you to refuse, to stay in your lane. But there’s another voice, quieter but growing louder with each passing second, telling you to just do it, to be bold, even if just for one night.
You inhale deeply, your hand still in hers, and with a shaky voice, you say, “Fine. But if I make a fool of myself, I'll kill you and leave your body in a ditch.”
Rex bursts out laughing, not finding your words threatening at all. “Deal! Now go get him, tiger!” she says, giving you a playful slap on the butt.
“I can’t believe I’m about to do this,” you mutter under your breath, standing up on legs already turning to jelly.
You look over your shoulder and find Rex grinning, clearly delighted. As encouragement, she gives you a nudge in the guy's direction.
As you walk toward him, each step feels surreal, heavier than the last. It doesn’t take long before the guy notices you, and to your surprise, his faint smile grows.
When you finally stop in front of him, you don’t know what to say. Your throat tightens, and for a moment, you regret even considering the dare. But despite everything, you hear your own voice ask, “Do you mind if I kiss you?”
There's no turning back now, and it’s not like he's the type to say no, not with the way he's looking at you—intrigued. And despite the panic in your chest, there’s something thrilling about the way he watches you.
He looks at you with a mix of surprise and amusement, then his smile turns soft. “How could I say no to that?” he says, his voice surprisingly low and deep.
Not giving yourself time to overthink, you close the gap between you and him, leaning in as he does the same until your lips and his meet in the middle.
The kiss isn’t wild or reckless like you imagined it would be. It’s gentle, slow, and—much to your surprise—perfectly in tune with the moment. It feels like the first time you’ve ever kissed anyone, full of nerves, fluttering excitement, and the kind of tenderness you hadn’t expected from a stranger.
When you pull back, your hand flies to your lips, barely believing you’ve just done that. Your heart is still racing, but this time, it isn’t just from fear. You feel the thrill and rush of stepping out of your comfort zone, and you think... maybe you can push yourself a little more, just a little bit.
Absentmindedly, you open your mouth and ask, “Do you want to get out of here?”
-
It's a typical Friday night for Felix—hanging at the club with his friends, having a few drinks, casually watching the scene. The same kind of night he's had countless times. His eyes wander across the room, drifting from one group of people to another, and then… he sees you.
You're completely out of place, dressed in something someone would wear to church on Sunday, your glasses slightly sliding down your nose, sitting with your hands clasped tightly in your lap. The glass you're holding? He's pretty sure it's just an accessory for your idle hand. Then he observes the people you're with—they're clearly here to let loose and have fun, his usual type—the kind of girls who are bold and uninhibited. But you? You're different, and that’s what intrigues him.
Felix isn’t being judgmental. He knows everyone needs to blow off some steam once in a while, but there's something about seeing you in this environment that captivates him. You don’t belong here, not really, and yet here you are. The juxtaposition of your quiet presence amidst the chaos of the club fascinates him. He finds himself watching you without meaning to, drawn to how out of place you are.
Then, your eyes meet. You look right at him from across the room, and he doesn't look away. He holds your gaze, wondering if you’ll hold it too, but you drop your eyes almost immediately.
The shyness in that simple act is oddly cute because most girls he meets in places like this are bold, forward. They don't shy away from eye contact, but you? There is something sweet in your hesitance.
The second time you glance over, Felix notices a change. You're a little braver, and this time, you don’t just look—you stand up. Your steps are hesitant but purposeful as you cross the room, and before he can think too much about it, you're right in front of him.
“Do you mind if I kissed you?” you ask, your voice soft, small yet determined.
Felix raises an eyebrow, surprised but amused. He can’t help but smile at the way you asked for permission. Most girls don’t ask—they just do. But your politeness, your shyness, the way you're so out of place in this club yet standing in front of him, asking so sweetly—it's irresistible.
He looks at you, his smile widening. “How could I say no to that?”
A kiss has always just been a kiss for Felix—a simple way to satisfy some biological need, with no deeper meaning behind it. But this? This kiss doesn’t feel like that.
The kiss takes him back to something he hasn’t felt in years—the thrill of a first kiss. The kind that's innocent, pure, and full of nervous excitement. He can’t remember the last time he had a kiss that made him feel like this—something chaste but electrifying all at once.
As you pull away, Felix almost groans in protest. He wants more, needs more of that flutter, that spark. His lips tingle, and he can tell yours do too, as your hand flies up to your mouth as if you can’t believe what just happened.
"Do you want to get out of here?" you ask, your voice shy, but with a daring edge that Felix hadn’t expected.
Your charm is something else—shy and demure one moment, then bold and forward the next, endlessly fascinating him. There's just something about you that makes this feel less like a random encounter and more like something worth exploring.
Consider his curiosity piqued, eager to see where this unlikely encounter will take him next. He meets your gaze, a playful smile tugging at his lips, then he says, "Lead the way!"
You turn, feeling the heat of his presence close behind you as you make your way through the packed club. The noise slowly recedes, replaced by a focused, almost intimate atmosphere between you.
As you reach the exit, Felix places a hand on the small of your back, guiding you through the crowd. Once outside, the cool night air hits you, a refreshing contrast to the club’s stuffy heat.
Felix glances at you, his smile still in place, and asks, “So, what’s the plan?”
-
To be honest, you have no idea why you asked him out. You acted spontaneously, which is unlike you, but you know what you want. You crave the thrill and the excitement, and ultimately, more of that explosive kiss.
Without thinking, you reach for Felix’s arm, pulling him toward the dimly lit alley next to the club. The urgency between you both is palpable, the energy from that brief kiss still simmering just beneath the surface.
As soon as you're out of sight from the street, Felix pins you against a stack of old crates filled with empty beer bottles. His hands find your waist and pull you close. Your lips collide again, this time more passionate, more intense. Your heart is beating out of your chest as your fingers tangle in his long hair.
In the intensity of the moment, you lean back slightly, misjudging the proximity of the crate. Your head strikes the edge with a sharp thud, and the sudden pain makes you wince.
You gasp and accidentally break the kiss for a second, but you decide to laugh it off—you don’t want to ruin the moment.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice tinted with concern.
“I’m fine," you say, half-laughing.
Felix smiles, though concern fills his eyes as he leans in close. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m okay, I’m—” you begin to blabber, wanting to resume the heated moment by leaning in for another kiss, but you immediately stop when you notice the shift in his expression.
His hand reaches up to the side of your head, and that’s when you feel it too—the warm, sticky sensation spreading through your hair. Then, he shows you his fingers, coated with your blood.
“I don’t think you're okay,” he mutters, his voice suddenly serious. “You’re bleeding.”
You can feel the adrenaline and embarrassment mingling as the pain begins to set in.
Felix gently touches your shoulder, trying to comfort you as he guides you away from the alley. “We need to get this checked out. We need to go to the hospital.”
Oh, no! This was supposed to be your night of finally breaking out of your shell, not a night where you make a fool of yourself in front of a hot guy.
“It’s not a big deal. I don’t need to go to the hospital,” you insist, trying to brush off the situation.
He shakes his head firmly, but his hand remains gentle on the small of your back. “We’re getting this checked out. You can’t just ignore it.”
Without taking any of your excuses, Felix hails a taxi until one stops and pulls to the side of the road. He helps you get in, and on the ride to the nearest hospital, he checks on you every once in a while, asking if you're okay. His tatted hands and rough exterior are such a contrast to his gentle, attentive demeanor.
That only makes you hate how the night has taken a turn. The two of you could have done more than just kiss by now if it weren’t for you bumping your head on a stupid crate.
“Come back if you feel dizzy, nauseous, or if there’s a ringing in your ears,” the doctor says as she takes off her latex gloves, leaving the nurse to finish the rest.
Despite the night’s earlier excitement, you feel a tinge of embarrassment about the whole incident. You're thinking of faking a concussion just to stay the night in the emergency room, but you're aware that would only make him worry more about you.
Guess there's no other option but to push your way through this humiliation.
As you step out of the emergency room, you see him standing against the wall, looking impossibly cool in his rough leather jacket. With his striking features, he could’ve been doing a photo shoot for a magazine.
“Hi,” you nervously greet him.
The adrenaline has drained from your body, leaving you feeling deflated. It's like the girl who kissed a stranger in a dark alley has vanished, replaced by your usual shy, awkward self—plus, you now have a bandage on your forehead.
The magic of the night has faded, and you wouldn't blame Felix if he decided to leave now that he’s met the real you. He glances up from his phone, a soft smile stretching across his lips.
“Hey. You okay?” he asks, putting his phone back into the pocket of his leather jacket.
“Three stitches, no concussion,” you say, trying to sound casual.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” Felix sighs, visibly relaxing.
“You know, you don’t have to wait for me. I can deal with this myself,” you say, feeling a little guilty. He’s already done enough by helping you get to the hospital.
“I can’t do that,” Felix says, his voice steady.
“Why not?” you ask, genuinely curious.
“I can’t just leave when you’re hurt,” he answers simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
That's such an unexpected answer from an unexpected man. He barely knows you, yet here he is, waiting outside an emergency room just to make sure you're okay. That thought warms you—but then it hits you: you don’t even know his name.
“Unless I’m actually concussed… do I know your name?” you ask with a shy laugh. “Or did we skip introductions?”
Felix chuckles, holding out his hand to you. “Felix,” he says, his deep voice sending a pleasant shiver through you.
You take his hand, offering your name in return. “Nice to meet you, Felix.”
It's about to get awkward from here, you can feel it. The momentum of the night has stalled, and now you aren’t sure what to say or do. You like him, but it feels like the window to continue this spontaneous night has closed. Maybe it’s better to retreat.
“I’d better head home,” you mutter in defeat, but deep down, you hope the end of the night won’t feel as anticlimactic as it seems.
To your surprise, Felix straightens up from the wall and turns toward the exit. With a warm and genuine smile, he offers, “Let me take you home.”
-
As Felix stands outside the emergency room, leaning against the wall, he notices you stepping out, looking more like yourself again—shy, awkward, but also kind of endearing. He can see the hint of embarrassment in your eyes, like you're expecting him to vanish now that things aren't as wild as they were earlier. But you have no idea he isn’t that kind of guy, not when it comes to this.
You walk over, your voice soft and uncertain as you greet him, “Hi.”
“Hey. You’re okay?” he puts on a smile, relieved that you're okay.
“Three stitches, no concussion,” you answer, trying to play it down.
“That’s a relief,” he sighs.
Honestly, if anything worse had happened to you, he would’ve felt responsible, and he can’t live with that. Sure, his appearance might have given off the wrong vibe, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. You need help, so he helps you.
“You know, you don’t even have to wait for me. I can just deal with it myself," you awkwardly clasp your hands in front of you and keep avoiding his eyes as you speak.
“I can’t do that,” he says; there’s no way he leaves you alone after everything.
“Why not?” you ask, genuinely confused.
Felix doesn’t really have an answer to that, so he slowly shrugs and says, “I can’t just leave when you’re hurt.”
You give him this look, like you're trying to figure him out. He guesses you don't expect him to care, but he does, and that is that.
A moment passes in silence, and you shift awkwardly in front of him. “Unless I’m actually concussed... do I know your name, or did we skip the introduction?”
It only hits him now that you both indeed haven't introduced each other. He chuckles and holds out his hand. “Felix.”
You take it, and your hand feels warm and delicate in his. “Nice to meet you, Felix.”
You seem like you're about to wrap up the night, but he can see it in the way you're fidgeting, like you're ready to go but also unsure about how to end things.
“I’d better head home,” you mutter, your voice almost apologetic.
But Felix isn’t ready to end the night, and he can tell you don’t want to, either—you just don’t have the nerve to ask. And honestly, he doesn’t want the moment to slip away, so he decides to give you an out.
“Let me take you home,” he offers, and when your eyes meet his, he can see the relief flicker across your face.
When the taxi pulls up outside your apartment building, he watches you try to act cool, but he can tell you’re hesitating. You don’t want the night to end any more than he does, but you aren’t going to say it.
Felix has been with enough people to know when someone is too shy to speak up, and you are definitely in that space. He leans in slightly and asks, “Do you mind if I come in for a bit? I’m afraid I need to use your bathroom.”
Your face lights up with a smile you can’t hide, and he has to hold back a grin of his own.
“I don’t mind at all," you say, trying so hard to conceal the excitement in your voice.
The two of you head inside. You lead the way to your apartment, climbing the stairs, giving him a view of your back as the hem of your dress sways while you walk until you reach the fourth floor.
Thank God for that! If you climbed another flight of stairs, he would have followed his intrusive thoughts and dropped to his knees to peek under your skirt to see what kind of underwear you’re wearing.
Felix bets it's white, cotton, probably with cute floral prints. He shakes the thought away when you abruptly stop walking as you arrive at the front door of your apartment.
Once you unlock the door, you open it and step aside to let Felix in. He flashes you a smile as he steps in the small yet cozy apartment. He glances around and sees the pictures on the wall, mostly of you and a tall girl with curly brown hair. He remembers her as one of the girls you’ve been with at the club.
“The bathroom is that way,” you tell him, and Felix makes his way down the hall.
Once inside, he wastes a bit of time washing his hands, fixing his hair, checking the hair products, all the while giving you a moment to settle.
When he comes out, you’re in the kitchen, your hair now tied back into a low bun, exposing your neck and the soft tendrils of hair on the nape of your neck. You look… different, but still really cute.
“Would you like a drink?” you ask, sauntering your way to the fridge.
“Anything cold would be nice,” he answers.
You take two cans of soda out of the fridge, bringing them with you to the living room and sitting on the small sofa.
“Sit down, please,” you say, permitting him to sit in the space next to you since there’s no other place to sit.
“This is a nice apartment,” he comments, his eyes glancing around while his hand works the tab on his soda can.
“Thanks,” you mutter with a smile, holding the can of soda in both hands. It has been opened, but you're not drinking it.
"I can safely assume you live with a roommate?" he asks, then takes a gulp of his soda, which instantly refreshes him.
"Yes," you answer. "Rex, she’s one of the girls... back in the club," you awkwardly explain, confirming that he's right—she's the same girl from the club.
"Is it short for Tyrannosaurus—" he pauses for dramatic effect, "—Rex?"
You let out a chuckle and push your glasses up your nose. "Her real name is Rebecca, but she insisted on being called Rex because it's..."
"Sounds cooler?" he easily guesses.
"Yeah," you nod in confirmation, "and it's her birthday today, so..."
"That's why you were at the club?" he asks, slowly getting his curiosity answered.
"I think it's obvious that I wasn't there because of my own volition," you openly admit.
Felix can see it now—the way you seemed out of place back at the club. It isn’t your scene, and it makes sense now that you explained it is Rex’s thing. He hesitates, feeling a question burning in his mind, one that he needs an answer to, regardless of what it might reveal.
"And the kiss?"
-
Oh, no! Not this again.
Please don't say that Felix is actually interested in Rex and that he was checking her out instead of you. This wouldn't be your first time, but what a pity! What a pity it would be if that turned out to be true.
Until Felix asked about the kiss and whether it was Rex’s idea or not.
Your throat tightens, but you know you have to be honest. “Rex dared me to do it,” you admit, your words tumbling out faster than you wanted.
He nods, but you can see a flash of disappointment in his eyes—brief but noticeable. Before he can respond, you rush to explain the rest of the truth.
“But the one we shared in the alley? That was me. I wanted that,” you add.
Felix gives you the chance to explain more, so you continue, determined to make him understand. You put your can of soda on the table and inhale before speaking.
“Earlier, during this game Rex and her friends played, they were talking about all these wild things they’d done, and I just sat there... realizing how much I’ve missed out on.” You pause to let out a sigh as the weight of your confession settles between you. “I’ve spent so much time focused on studying, hitting all my academic goals, that I never gave myself the chance to live. And I don’t want to wake up one day full of regret for not taking chances.”
You look up from your lap at him—not necessarily meeting his eyes, or else you'll be a nervous wreck. “So tonight, I decided to push myself for once. The kiss might’ve started as a dare, but when I pulled you into that alley… that was real. For the first time in my life, I felt so alive.”
Felix remains quiet for a moment, his eyes searching yours, taking in every word. You can feel his hesitation, though—a cautious distance. His concern isn’t just about your head injury; it's something more.
“You don’t have to do all that just because your friends have done it,” he says, his voice gentle but firm. “You do it when you’re ready.”
His words hit home, and you feel a wave of realization. The thrill and the pressure you’ve felt earlier are starting to clash with a deeper understanding of what you really want.
You may be naïve and know little about this intimate stuff, but you're also the one who knows you best, and you know what you want—you want this.
“I’m doing this for me. I want it. I'm ready," you unequivocally say, full of conviction.
Felix’s expression softens, but doubts linger in his eyes. “I think you know what kind of guy I am. I don’t do relationships. I… casually date. I’m not a good guy.”
You can’t help but smile at that, shaking your head in disagreement at his last statement. “You insisted on taking me to the hospital, waited until I got treated, and then made sure I got home safely. If that’s not a good guy, I don’t know what is,” you lay out all the facts on why he isn't what he says he is.
He sighs, clearly conflicted, running his hand through his long, bleached hair. “I’m just not sure if you really want to do this… with me.”
“I want to do this with you," you say without the slightest doubt.
There's a reason why he's here when he had his chances to walk out of this situation. He could have ditched you back there in the club, in the dark alley, or at the hospital. He could have gotten into that taxi and gone home, but instead, he chose to come in here.
Felix is quiet again, his eyes locked on yours as he considers what you said. Then, after what feels like an eternity, he lets out a sigh, letting the last bit of hesitation slip away from him.
"We should go to your bedroom," he says, his voice low but confident.
The excitement flares up in your chest, your heart racing as you rise from the sofa. This is it. The feeling you’ve been chasing all night—the sense of truly living, of stepping out of your comfort zone. You lead him to your bedroom, each step heavy with anticipation.
When you open the door to your bedroom, you pause for a moment, suddenly feeling vulnerable. It’s strange—no one ever warns you how personal it feels to show someone your bedroom. It’s not just a room; it’s a reflection of you, of your habits, your life. You close the door behind you, your breath catching as Felix steps in and takes a quick look around.
He glances over the shelves, where countless books are crammed into every available space. A small smile tugs at his lips, a look of slight amusement crossing his face as he takes it all in. It’s like he doesn’t expect this—your quiet, introverted world clashing with the chaotic energy of the night.
But then his eyes land back on you, and your pulse quickens. You’re alone now, really alone, in the privacy of your bedroom, and the reality of it all settles over you. You can feel the weight of the moment, not knowing how to begin but wanting to. You step closer to him, hoping he’ll take the lead.
Felix sits down on the edge of your bed, his eyes still on you. He pats the space beside him, an invitation, and you sit down next to him, nerves tingling under your skin.
"You have a very interesting room," he says with a playful smile, but there’s no mockery in his tone—only genuine surprise.
You shyly chuckle, your hands fidgeting in your lap. "Yeah, I’m… very aware."
He turns to you, his gaze softening. He’s studying you, taking you in, and when he looks into your eyes, you feel like he’s seeing something deeper. Then, as if realizing something, his brow furrows slightly.
“Can I take them off?" he asks, nodding toward your glasses. "Will you still be able to see without them?”
“I’m nearsighted, so yeah,” you confirm, your hand halfway to your face to take them off, but Felix gets ahead, gently removing them for you. Then he places them carefully on your bedside table.
The world around you becomes a soft blur, but Felix… Felix is in perfect focus. He’s all you can see. His delicate features stand out, his warm brown eyes locking onto yours, his freckles like tiny constellations dusting his cheeks and nose. It’s like he’s become the center of your universe, and nothing else matters in that moment.
You get a little overwhelmed as you take him in—his beauty so striking, so close, making your heart beat out of your chest. You wonder if he can hear it too.
"Can I take your hair down?" Felix asks, his voice soft but deliberate.
Unable to provide a verbal answer, you nod. His hand is quick to reach behind your head, releasing your hair from the tie, and you feel an unexpected wave of relaxation wash over you, like the tension you’d been carrying all night had been held there, in your hair.
Felix’s fingers move through the strands gently, combing through them, letting the ends slip through his fingers. The tattoos on his hand catch your attention, and as his sleeve rides up, you notice even more ink snaking up his arm.
"How many tattoos do you have?" you ask, unable to hide your curiosity.
"I stopped counting a long time ago," Felix chuckles, a lightness in his voice that makes you smile.
He notices your lingering gaze on his tattoos, and without hesitation, he starts unbuttoning the cuff of his shirt. He lets the fabric fall back, giving you a clearer view of the designs that cover his skin. The sight of his muscles beneath the inked patterns, the veins trailing down his arm, captivates you.
"Is it okay if I touch you?" you ask, your voice quiet, unsure if it’s too bold.
"You can touch me," he says with an encouraging smile, "anywhere."
The last word unexpectedly provokes you; it was just a word until Felix gives it a new meaning now, and it's been echoing in the back of your mind in his deep, low voice. Anywhere.
With a tentative hand, you reach out, slowly rolling his sleeve up higher. The tattoos become more detailed—the lines and shading intricate—but what holds your attention is the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. The combination of the ink and the physicality of him makes you feel a strange sense of intimacy. Afraid that you're overstepping, you let the sleeve fall back and flash him a smile of gratitude.
“You know this will be easier if you sit closer,” Felix says, his tone suggestive but gentle.
You shift closer, trying to keep your breath steady. The space between you shrinks, but the heat from his body seems to rise, making your heart race.
"Closer," Felix murmurs, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
You move another inch.
"More," he says, his voice a bit firmer this time.
You scoot a little more until finally, there’s no space left between you. Your body is pressed against his, and the warmth from him feels overwhelming, your skin tingling from the proximity.
"I think you should put your hand around my neck," Felix suggests, his voice a low rumble.
"Are you sure?" you ask, still worried about overstepping.
"Of course," he reassures you, guiding your hand up to his shoulder.
From there, you let it drift to the back of his neck, feeling the strong line of muscle beneath your palm.
The two of you are incredibly close; you can feel his breath brushing against your cheek. As if the proximity isn't enough, his hand cups your jaw, his thumb softly rubbing your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine.
It doesn't take a genius to know what comes next; you can feel it coming as the tension intensifies with each passing second.
"I'm not a good kisser," you blurt out, your insecurities successfully breaking through the haze of the moment.
"You did just fine earlier," he says, watching as his thumb swipes across your lower lip.
You try to argue, but before you can say another word, Felix presses a soft kiss to your cheek, leaving a searing warmth behind.
"Stop thinking and just..." he trails off, kissing just beneath your eye, sending a shock of sensation through you, "… do it."
Before you can process his words, his lips find yours. The kiss is electric and powerful, wiping away every doubt and insecurity. The world narrows down to the feeling of his mouth on yours, the sound of your breath mingling in the quiet of your bedroom.
Felix pulls away just enough for you to catch your breath, his hand moving to brush your hair to the side. He does it carefully to avoid accidentally touching the bandaged wound on your forehead.
"Now," he says, voice deep with desire, "we’re going to put in a little tongue."
Dazed and a little disoriented from the kiss, you nod, your brain unable to compute a word.
He kisses you again, this time slower, more deliberate, teasing you with his tongue as it slides across your lips. It’s sensual and intimate, and when you let him in, the kiss deepens, and you try your best to move in sync with him.
When Felix pulls away, he’s grinning, looking impressed. "See? You’re a natural."
Flustered, you look down, but he isn’t having it. He wants your eyes, your full attention on him, so he puts his hand under your chin, gently angling your face back toward his.
Not giving you a moment to think, he plants a kiss on your lips again—gently, but there’s intensity to it, a sense of hunger that needs to be satisfied.
At the same time, his other hand travels down to your back, tracing down your spine before he withdraws it back to your front, reaching for the button of your dress.
You've been handling it well so far, but when he touches you there, it triggers the alarm bells in your head. You try to convince yourself that it's okay; you trust Felix, and he's not going to harm you, but your body abruptly freezes, and you stiffen against him.
Felix notices immediately and takes his hands off of you, concern painted on his small face.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asks softly, not wanting to alarm you further.
First, it was Rex’s birthday party, and not long after that, you did it again by bumping your head during a makeout session in the dark alley, and now this. You sigh and look down at your lap, wondering why you keep sabotaging your life like this.
"I’m sorry, I just... I–I wasn’t ready for that," you meekly say, looking down at your lap, feeling embarrassed.
"That’s okay," he says with a soothing voice. "I’d rather you tell me when you’re uncomfortable."
Anyone else might have been annoyed or disappointed, but Felix—he’s patient, gentle, and very understanding. You feel a rush of gratitude for him.
"Okay," you murmur, nodding.
"Or you can just slap me next time," he jokes, trying to lighten the mood.
Slapping his face would feel like vandalizing the Mona Lisa, so you shake your head in strong disagreement while softly laughing, "No. I wouldn’t do that."
Thanks to you freaking out without reason, you have to start all over again, and you can only hope that Felix has some patience left for you.
You watch as he glances toward your bedside table, eyeing the small stack of books. "Are these the ones you’re reading?"
"Yeah," you reply, your smile returning.
"You’re telling me you’re reading five books at once?" he asks. His tattooed fingers trail along the spines as he reads the titles under his breath.
"Three are for school," you say, chuckling, "but the other two are for fun."
"Oh, so you do know how to have fun," he teases you with a charming smile that makes his eyes lively.
You know he's trying to lighten the mood, and you feel thankful that he indeed still has some patience left in him.
Felix picks up the smallest one from the top of the stack and flips through the pages. "Poetry," he remarks.
"Yeah," you nod, feeling a bit shy.
He looks at you with something new in his eyes. "Would you read me one?"
"A poem?" you stammer.
"No, the index page," he teases you yet again.
You laugh, feeling a bit silly for asking, and then take the book from him. You open it, easily finding the page you marked as your favorite poem.
"Okay... I’ll try," you say as you clear your throat.
Your fingers nervously brush the edges of the page, eyes glancing at the words, but you’re aware of Felix’s gaze on you. His presence is overwhelming—his closeness, the subtle intensity in his expression.
Despite everything, you begin reading, your voice low and a little shaky.
"Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which I cannot touch because they are too near."
Felix leans in closer, his breath warm against your cheek. His hand moves to the back of your neck, brushing the loose strands of your hair away.
You pause, feeling the pressure of his nearness, but he nudges you gently.
"Keep reading," he whispers against your skin, the warmth of his voice sending a shiver down your spine.
You swallow, forcing yourself to focus. Your voice is a little shaky as you continue.
"Your slightest look easily will unclose me though I have closed myself as fingers; you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens—"
Felix’s lips press softly against the corner of your mouth just as your voice falters. You draw in a breath, trying to steady yourself, but his kiss lingers, feather-light and teasing.
You glance at him, the lines of the poem slipping from your mind.
"Go on," he murmurs, his mouth now brushing your jawline. His hand slips to your waist, holding you in place as if keeping you tethered to the moment.
"I... I—" you stammer, your focus crumbling under his touch, his lips trailing a path down to your neck. You grip the book tighter, trying to maintain the thread of the poem, your voice coming out as a breathy whisper: "you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose—"
Felix presses another kiss just below your ear, making your breath hitch. He’s being gentle but deliberate, his lips grazing your skin with an intention that makes it almost impossible to concentrate.
Your heart bursts, the words on the page becoming blurry. "Felix..." you murmur, caught between the poem and the sensation of his kisses.
"Don’t stop," he whispers again, this time against the curve of your neck, sending a rush of warmth through you. "I want to hear the rest."
Your voice quivers as you try to continue, the lines of the poem mixing with the feeling of his lips.
"Or if your wish be to close me, I and my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending—"
His kisses grow slower, more languid, as if savoring every inch of your skin. Each one draws you further away from the poem, your pulse quickening under his touch. He pulls back just slightly, and his eyes meet yours, his gaze heavy with desire, but still, he urges you on.
"Finish it," he says softly, his thumb tracing your lower lip as he holds your gaze.
You exhale shakily, barely able to focus anymore, but you try.
"Nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility..."
Before you can finish the last line, Felix’s lips capture yours, cutting off the rest of the poem. His kiss is deeper this time, not asking for permission but claiming the moment as his own. The book slips from your hand, forgotten, as you lean into him, your breath mingling with his.
The poetry becomes a distant memory as his kisses consume you, every touch drawing you further into him. And for the first time, you don’t feel the need to pull back or hesitate. You melt into the moment, into him, as the poem fades into the background, replaced by the quiet intensity of Felix’s lips on yours.
The poem may be incomplete, but the moment is whole.
-
Felix watches as you fumble with the edges of the poetry book, your nervousness plain in the way your fingers tremble. He can sense how hard you’re trying to focus, trying to find your voice in the moment.
There’s a certain charm in how unsure you are, the way your eyes keep darting up to him, like you’re looking for some kind of permission. But he knows you don’t need it. You want this—he can feel it in the air between you.
When you finally start to read, your voice is soft, hesitant.
“Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence...”
Felix can barely concentrate on the words. It’s your voice—that shaky, uncertain quality—that pulls him in, and you’re so close. He leans in, pressing the warmth of his lips against your cheek, testing, teasing. He feels the way you stiffen, your breath catching. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but the urge to touch you, to close that gap, is too strong.
"Keep reading," he murmurs, his lips brushing your skin, barely above a whisper. He feels your pulse quicken beneath his touch.
You take a deep breath and continue, your voice even softer now, trying to hold it together.
"Your slightest look easily will unclose me though I have closed myself as fingers..."
As your voice trails off again, Felix can't resist. His lips graze the corner of your mouth, light and fleeting. He watches your eyes flutter, sees the way you're barely hanging onto the thread of the poem, and it makes him smile inwardly. He pulls back just enough to see the heat in your cheeks, the uncertainty fighting with desire in your eyes.
"Go on," he urges, this time pressing his lips to the soft skin just beneath your jawline. His hand slips to your waist, fingers curling lightly around you, holding you steady, grounding you as he teases.
"I–I..." Your voice falters completely as his lips trail lower, brushing the sensitive spot near your neck.
He loves the way you stammer, the way your breath comes in shallow gasps.
"You open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens—"
Felix hears your voice waver again, and he chuckles softly against your neck. He knows exactly what he’s doing. The poem doesn’t stand a chance against his kisses, but he likes this game, this slow unraveling of your composure.
"Felix..." you murmur, barely able to hold onto the words.
He pulls back just enough to speak, his breath warm against your ear. "Don’t stop." His voice is low, coaxing, as he brushes another kiss just below your ear. "I want to hear the rest."
You try—he can see you trying—but the way you tremble beneath his touch makes it almost impossible for you to concentrate. He watches you struggle, a mix of amusement and desire in his gaze as you fight to continue.
"...Or if your wish be to close me, I and my life will shut very beautifully..."
Felix’s lips move slowly across your skin, savoring every inch. He can feel the tension in you, the way you’re holding onto control by a thread. But then, something shifts. He presses one last kiss to your neck, soft and lingering, and watches as your resolve crumbles. The book slips from your hands, your breath hitching in your chest.
“Finish it,” Felix whispers, his thumb grazing your lower lip. He can see the words have all but left you, but he waits, eyes fixed on your trembling lips.
"...The power of your intense fragility..."
Before you can finish the line, Felix presses his lips to yours. The words are lost as he kisses you, claiming the moment. There’s no hesitation in the way your body responds, melting into him as if you’ve been waiting for this all night. The book falls from your hands, forgotten, as his hands move to pull you closer.
He feels the way you surrender to the kiss, how every bit of uncertainty you held before dissolves. His kiss deepens, slow but deliberate, until he pulls back just enough to look at you, lips still close, your breaths mingling.
Felix takes a quick check to see if you're comfortable enough to continue, his thumb brushing across your cheek as he leans his forehead against yours. He can feel the way you’re still caught in the moment, still wanting more.
His hand slides down to your shoulder, tracing the curve of your spine. He brushes your hair to the side, kissing you again—slower this time, deeper. The way you respond, your lips meeting his with growing confidence, only pulls him in more.
Felix takes your hand and gently places it on his chest. He feels the way your hand stays immobile for a moment, but then it starts to move, roaming curiously over his body. Your touch is tentative but warm, and soon enough, your fingers tug at the opening of his shirt, revealing a peek of inked skin underneath. Felix notices the way your curiosity lights up your face. “Do you want to see the rest of my tattoos?”
You hesitate, biting your lip as you think about it, unsure if you should say yes. To avoid letting him hear how eager you are, you nod instead.
“But you have to help me with the buttons,” he says, glancing down at his shirt.
It’s a subtle invitation, but the way he says it makes you feel like you’re in control. You start undoing the buttons, one by one, your fingers working carefully, as if each button is a gateway to something unknown. When you finish, you stop, leaving the fabric still draped across his chest. There’s a moment of hesitation, as if parting the shirt will reveal something too intimate, something more than just skin.
Felix senses your nerves, so he does the rest; he shrugs the shirt off his shoulders, revealing the ink that covers his chest and arms. Normally, he’s confident about his body, but under your gaze, he feels a flicker of vulnerability. You’re studying him, and he can feel the weight of it, like you’re looking past the surface.
“It’s all over you,” you mutter in awe.
One, in particular, seems to draw your attention—the dragon on his ribcage. Felix notices the way your hand lingers there, eyes fixed on the intricate design. He smiles softly, taking your hand and pressing it gently against the dragon.
“Here... feel it,” he says, guiding your touch.
Your fingers trace the lines of the tattoo, feather-light and full of wonder. Every slight graze of your fingertips sends a rush through him, and the way you’re touching him so delicately is like you’re trying to memorize the feel of each tattoo.
“Do you like it?” he asks, his voice soft but laced with curiosity.
“I had no idea I liked tattoos until now,” you innocently answer.
There's something so honest in your words, and Felix can’t help but smile, feeling the tension between you shift into something deeper, more intimate. He watches you as your fingers continue to explore, and for the first time in a long while, he feels a kind of peace in this closeness, like it’s more than just physical. There’s something in the way you touch him, like you’re seeing him for the first time—not just his body, but all the stories inked into his skin.
Then you take your hand back and fidget in your seat. You open your mouth, but no words come out. After a while, you ask, “Should I undress?”
“Only if you want to,” he says, not wanting to pressure you and also trying to make it clear that this is on your terms.
With a shy nod, you start moving, fingers flying to the buttons of your dress, fumbling a little in your nervousness. Felix notices and, sensing your discomfort, turns his head away, giving you the privacy you need. He helps by dimming the lights on your bedside lamp, knowing that a girl like you prefers the softer glow to ease the tension. Now, the room is bathed in a quiet, warm light, making everything feel more intimate, more comfortable.
“Do you need help?” he offers after a moment, his back still to you.
“I’m done anyway,” you respond, your voice softer now.
Felix hears the faint sound of your dress hitting the floor, and he inhales, preparing himself for what he's going to see. He turns his head slowly, careful not to look directly at you until he’s sure you’re comfortable. His eyes first meet yours, searching for any sign that you’re nervous, that you want him to stop, but you hold his gaze, and that’s all the permission he needs. His eyes travel down, finally taking in the sight of you.
The first thing that catches his attention is the unexpected—the matching silk and lace set you’re wearing, soft and delicate against your skin. It’s a contrast to the image he had in mind, and it takes his breath away. The colors, the fabric—it all highlights your natural beauty in a way that almost overwhelms him.
Beautiful. That’s the only word that comes to mind, but even that feels like it doesn’t do you justice. You’re beyond that. You’re captivating in a way that makes him hesitant to even touch you, as if the act itself would somehow break the spell between you.
“I want to touch you,” he admits, his voice trembling with restraint, overwhelmed by how much he desires you but not wanting to rush.
“Okay,” you say, so simply, so openly.
-
The intimacy of the moment is overwhelming. Felix is sitting there, shirtless, and the way he’s looking at you makes your skin tingle. The silence stretches between you, heavy with unspoken questions.
After a while, you finally manage to speak. “Should I undress?”
Felix’s gaze is soft, his voice gentle when he responds, “Only if you want to.”
His words reassure you, but still, your hands tremble as you reach for the buttons on your dress. You fumble with them, nervous fingers struggling to move faster. Felix, sensing your discomfort, turns away, giving you a moment to compose yourself. It’s a small gesture, but it makes you feel better, like he understands without needing to be told.
You manage to undo the last button, letting the dress slip down your shoulders and fall to the floor with a soft thud. You glance at Felix, and he still isn’t looking. He’s turned the light down, creating a softer, warmer atmosphere that eases some of the tension in your chest. It’s as if he knows that you’d rather not be fully exposed in the harsh glow of bright light.
“Do you need help?” he asks, his voice careful, like he’s afraid of pushing you too far.
“I’m done anyway,” you reply, your voice shaky but steady enough.
Felix exhales, turning back to face you slowly, almost cautiously. He looks into your eyes first, making sure you’re okay before letting his gaze travel down. When his eyes finally take in the sight of you, you see something shift in him. His expression softens, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest, almost painfully so.
You weren’t sure what he’d expect to see, but the look on his face—like he’s in awe—makes you feel beautiful in a way you’ve never felt before. You're wearing your favorite matching set, silk and lace, in a color that contrasts perfectly with your skin. You chose it thinking you might need something that makes you feel confident, but now, under Felix’s gaze, you wonder if it was the right choice. But then you see the way he looks at you, like you’re something precious, and all your doubts melt away.
“I want to touch you,” Felix says softly, his voice trembling, almost as if he’s afraid to break the moment.
“Okay,” you answer, trying to sound calm even though your heart feels like it’s about to explode.
Felix doesn’t rush. His movements are slow, deliberate. He brushes your hair aside, his fingertips barely grazing your skin, but it’s enough to send a shiver down your spine. His knuckles trace down your chest, stopping at the center, right between your breasts. His hand rests flat there, and you feel the warmth of his palm seeping into your skin, the beat of your heart thudding loudly under his touch.
“You're so beautiful,” he softly murmurs as he looks into your eyes.
You can feel heat spreading across your face. You want to say something, but the words get stuck in your throat. Instead, you just look down, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, by how gentle and caring he’s being.
Felix leans in, and when he kisses you, it’s not rushed. His lips are soft, and the kiss is gentle, as though he’s trying to coax you out of your shell. You kiss him back, a little more confidently this time, the warmth of his body pressing against yours making everything feel more natural.
The more time you spend with Felix, the more certain you feel that you’re in the right place, with the right person. His presence is calming, his touch patient and careful. Every kiss, every gentle brush of his hand against your skin reminds you that he’s giving you all the time in the world. He doesn’t rush, doesn’t push you beyond what you’re ready for, and that thought alone is enough to make your heart swell.
Felix holds back so much—it’s evident in the way he slows his movements, adjusting to your hesitance, waiting for you to catch up, to feel comfortable. You notice how he looks at you, always checking, always making sure you’re okay with what’s happening. He’s so understanding that you can feel your insecurities start to melt away, one by one, like the weight of them no longer matters in this space you’ve created together.
As the kissing becomes more intense, your breathing picks up, and the room feels warmer. You feel his strong yet gentle hand resting on your shoulder, his fingers playing with the strap of your bra, and you know what comes next.
This time, you decide to take the initiative and ask, “Do you want me to take these off?”
“If you allow me to,” he answers with a soft smile.
You’ve always known your body isn't the kind men fantasize about, or at least, that’s what you tell yourself. “They’re not—They’re not my best features,” you meekly admit.
Felix’s eyes don’t waver, and his smile turns into a playful smirk, one that both teases and comforts at the same time. “How can I know for sure when I haven’t seen them?”
You feel a smile tugging at your lips; he has a fair point, and you can’t argue with him when he looks at you like that—like he sees you, not just the parts you want to hide.
You nod, giving him permission, and lean forward slightly to make it easier for him to reach behind you. His fingers find the clasp of your bra almost immediately, without hassle.
The sound of it unclasping makes your breath hitch, anticipation swirling in the air between you, and then he pulls back just enough to let the bra fall away, his fingers gently sliding the straps down your shoulders. His movements are slow, with excitement simmering underneath, as if he’s unwrapping a precious gift.
And then, you’re bare in front of him, vulnerable in a way that sends a nervous thrill through you.
Felix doesn’t rush to fill the silence. He doesn’t gawk or make you feel exposed. Instead, he looks at you with a soft, quiet admiration that makes your heart flutter.
“They're perfect,” he says, and the sincerity in his praise makes your insecurities seem small, insignificant.
-
Felix's breath catches in his throat at the sight of you, bare in front of him. The soft curves of your chest stir something deep inside him, and for a moment, he has to hold back from letting his hands act purely on impulse. He swallows hard, trying to keep his cool, even though the urge to touch you is overwhelming.
“They’re perfect,” he says softly, his voice rougher than he intended. He means it. It’s not about size or shape—he just likes seeing you, just like this.
If he's being honest, you’re not what Felix thought he always wanted. But now, with you in front of him, he finds himself thinking that you’re more than enough—perfect, in fact.
He lets himself lose a bit of that self-control, his hand reaching out, grazing your skin before cupping your breast, his gentle yet curious fingers exploring the softness of your chest. They fit perfectly in his tattooed hands, and he feels heat rising in him.
“See? They’re perfect,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin as if to prove the point.
You remain quiet as he touches you, but your eyes go wide, lips parting slightly, and then, unexpectedly, you run your palms over your own breasts, fingers grazing your nipples with a restless, almost nervous motion.
The sight of you touching yourself, so innocently but also with that hidden desire, nearly drives him over the edge. He has to clench his jaw to stop himself from groaning aloud.
"Why are you looking at them like that?" you curiously ask in a shy voice.
“Like what?” he asks, his voice deep and low, almost a growl as he leans in closer, needing to hear you say it.
“Like you want t-to…” You hesitate, stumbling over your words.
“Lick them? Suck them?” he finishes the sentence for you, the words falling from his lips with an intensity that makes you look down at your lap, cheeks heated.
You nod, too shy to say it aloud.
Felix exhales slowly, his restraint hanging by a thread. “Come here!” his voice is rough, almost commanding as he gestures for you to sit on his lap.
Biting your lip, you crawl onto him and sit right on his lap.. You freeze for a moment, probably feeling his hard flesh prodding under you.
"You can ignore that," he tells you, at least for now, but he knows both of you can’t ignore that for long.
Somehow, that thought worries him, and he expected you to sit stiff as a board on his lap, but you immediately settle in close, and when he puts his arm around you, you let out a ragged sigh, instantly melting into him.
Fuck, you're so close, especially that part of you, hanging so close to his mouth. He gulps air and reminds himself to take things slowly. This is about you, not him.
You put your hand under his arm and grasp at his back, your hard nipples grazing his chest in the process, and Felix can’t resist cupping your breasts and rubbing his fingers over them.
Soon, your body softens around him, but his hands grow rough as he touches you, molding you to him as he claims your mouth. The kiss is a savage thing of teeth and tongues, but there’s no hint of protest from you. Instead, you match his roughness for roughness, kissing him back until you run out of breath.
As you come up for air, he covers your nipple with his mouth and sucks hard. He pulls you close so he can do the same with the other one; this time, he has your nipple rolling on his tongue. Oh, he can do it all night, just playing with your soft mounds.
Your fingers make their way through his hair, tugging at it as you arch your back with unconscious demand. It's apparent that you love this, losing your mind over his touches.
Felix lets go of your breast, then drags his lips upward, climbing the column of your throat until they find yours, kissing your mouth with such intensity that it causes you to sharply inhale air.
As he's kissing you, his hands refuse to remain idle. He cups your breasts, stroking the buds until they ache and pinches them, sending a burst of sensation straight to your core. With caution, he takes it to the next level, shifting his focus to another sensitive part of you. He's smoothing a hand over your stomach, and he can feel your muscles clench. Cautiously, he slides a hand up your inner thigh.
“I want to touch you here,” he says while gently palming your sex with a bold grasp, and the heat of his touch spreads through the fabric of your panties, searing hot.
Your hand immediately flies to grip his wrist, intending to pull him away, but your hand stays there; if anything, you pull it back and let it rest on his inked forearm.
“Is that permission?” he whispers into your ear.
He sees the conflict in your eyes. He guesses the reason you hesitate is that this is new to you, and you don't know how to handle this side of yourself. After a while, your body wins over your hesitant mind as your hips arch against his hand, asking him to continue, asking him for more.
He pushes your underwear to the side, and as he kisses your neck, his fingers trace your bundle of nerves, circling it, then applying the gentlest of pressure to test whether you like it or not.
A low moan slips out of you, and he can feel you tugging at his hair, hard.
"Do you want me to keep my hand there?" he asks as he looks into your dazed eyes.
You innocently nod.
"All right. I'll do that," he says with a hasty kiss on your lips. He continues by tracing your slick entrance with his fingertips, touching you there lightly, trailing around and around in dizzying circles.
"Does that feel good?" he asks, barely audible.
Still unable to give him a verbal answer, you nod again.
He aims his parted mouth toward your neck and purposely scrapes his teeth against your skin before he licks and kisses you there, causing goosebumps to spread over your skin.
"Will you let me get inside?" he asks for permission as his fingers tease your entrance.
It's obvious that you want it from the way you're arching your hips against his hand, but he doesn't want to risk losing you to the nerves again; he needs to hear you say it this time.
"Yes," you breathlessly say with a small nod.
With your consent given, his fingers search through your folds, coating them with your essence, and he lingers around your entrance for a little while before pushing one finger into you.
He feels your sharp intake of air as your head rests so close to his, your teeth faintly biting your lower lip to muffle the noises you make.
Felix gives you time to adjust before adding another digit. Two fingers are inside you now, pumping them, and he curls them, finding that spot that makes you...
"Oh!" you gasp, your hand grasping at the end of his hair like it gives you a lifeline. Your legs tremble, causing you to lose your balance, and you almost topple back, but Felix is quick to grip your waist to keep you steady.
The whole thing is so cute. Felix rubs his lips to hide a grin as you steady yourself on his lap and fold your hands in your lap. He knows that if he continues, you’d likely fall to the floor. You're the kind of girl who gets weak when you get hot, and don’t get him wrong; he loves that. If anything, it makes every bit of effort it has taken to get past your guard worth it.
"It's better if we lay down," he suggests as he removes the strand of hair caught between your lips.
"Okay," you say, your voice small and filled with obedience.
Once you get off his lap, Felix takes the lead again. He stretches out near the center of the bed, propping himself up on an elbow, and pats the space next to him. No moment of hesitation this time, you crawl across the bed and lay down next to him.
Felix leans over you and kisses you, starting right back at the beginning with innocent brushes of both of your lips and teasing licks before taking your mouth once again. He wouldn't say you're that great of a kisser, but it's entertaining feeling you learn. You may lack in skill, but you make up for it with your eagerness.
He puts your hand on his bare chest, letting you roam free from there; he needs you to feel him too, how his body heats all over from his desire for you. You drag your hand down his chest, fingers trailing the hard ridges of his abs, and then you keep heading down south, meeting the waistband of his jeans.
Felix is unprepared when your hand suddenly goes to his crotch and strokes over the fly of his pants. Pleasure courses through him, and his cock jumps in excitement, a hoarse groan slipping out of his parted mouth.
He remains calm even though you've just awakened a part of him that he wants to keep tamed, for now. He notices the curious hand and then the curious eyes.
"Want to touch it?" he offers, his eyes half shut, heavy with lust.
"Can I?" you ask back instead of answering.
It's about time to set it free anyway; his jeans have been tightening around the crotch for quite some time. He unzips the fly open, then tugs at the waistband of his jeans and pulls it low enough to let his swollen member out of its confines.
Your hand lingers on his abdomen, hesitating to put your hand on the thing you're curious about.
He takes your hand, puts it on his cock, and then makes you close your fingers around it. The sight of your soft, delicate hand wrapped around his cock makes his heart thrumming inside his chest.
"This is my cock," he says, trying to keep his voice calm.
He guides you to stroke your hand on it, pumping it up and down his length, showing you the pace he prefers: slow but steady. "I want you to tell me when you want it."
You swallow air and look down to see that he's no longer guiding you; you're stroking his cock on your own, and he must say, you're doing so good at it.
He returns the favor by reaching down between your legs, touching you there again. His fingers meet your wetness, hot and slippery, tantalizing him.
After a moment, he decides to hover above you, letting go of your lips to start making a trail of kisses down your front. Your chest is heaving as he gets closer to your core, but he does the unexpected by detaching his mouth.
"Do you mind if I take this off?" he asks, fingers tugging at the elastic band of your underwear.
You lick your swollen lips and lowly mutter, "No."
He flashes you a soft smile before doing what he asked. His palm scrapes up the outside of your leg as he pulls your underwear down. You help by lifting your hips to make it easier for him to take it off.
Felix stands at the end of the bed with your underwear in his hand. He lets you watch as he takes a long sniff of it; you smell so heavenly that he wants this smell all over him. But first, he has to make it fair. He takes his jeans off along with his underwear, exposing his naked body in all its glory for you—just for you.
In return, he gets to see all of you, your body wrapped in miles and miles of soft skin. His eyes feast on every part of you, but you cross your thighs together, blocking him from seeing the thing that tantalized him all night.
He runs his tattooed hands down your legs, offering you his warmth and comfort as a way to assure you that he wants nothing but to make you feel good. When he deems you're relaxed enough, he parts your legs open, and his eyes widen as if he sees something that goes beyond what his brain can comprehend.
"You're so wet for me," he says, swallowing air as the sight suddenly makes his throat dry.
Felix satisfies his need by taking a closer look at it, his eyes darkened and fixated on the thing that endlessly tantalizes him. He licks his lips in reaction to the overwhelming urge to taste you.
He uses his thumb to circle your clit, which engorges with every motion. "It wants my mouth so badly," he tells you, his eyes dark and heavy with lust.
Felix presses his cheek to your inner thigh and, ever so softly, places a long kiss on the skin. It's close to where he wants to be but not enough. His need grows desperate.
"Put us both out of our misery and let me taste you."
-
Felix is perfect. He stands there like carved stone, but his skin is smooth and hot to the touch, firm but giving, alive. His muscles hunch and shift as he moves, and the dragon tattoo winks at you as he steps out of his pants; the motion alone is so sexy.
This is Felix in all of his naked glory. He is perfection, even that part of him—gosh, especially that part of him. His erection demands your full attention, hard and veiny, in flawless proportion to the rest of his beautiful body. You have never given a man oral sex before, but your mouth waters at the sight of it. You want it.
You can’t remember how to breathe as he puts his tattooed hands on you, rubbing them up and down the outside of your legs, making you tingle down there. You see how he quietly inhales air before parting your legs open and lets all the air out of his mouth as he shifts his eyes to see what's between your legs.
It's the most private part of you, and you expect him to see it in disgust, but the way he looks at it... you see nothing but pure admiration. He puts his focus there, needing more time to process what he's seeing.
"You're so wet for me," he says, barely audible as he holds his breath.
He bends down close to your wet flesh, making your nervousness spike to heart-pounding levels, and his eyes never stray away from what he wants. Then his thumb meets the peak of your sex, gently rubbing it, and you quietly moan under your breath.
"It wants my mouth so badly," he says, receiving your body's signals too well.
The little kisses he places on your inner thighs feel soft, but you can see that it's not quite what he wants; he's so close to it, yet he handles his self-control really well.
He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them, they immediately find yours. Then he murmurs, "Put us both out of misery and let me taste you."
It hits you now that he truly wants this, you. He likes what he sees, and his craving for your most private parts is real. It's dirty but highly erotic and exciting. You want to give it to him; you do, but you doubt that the reality will meet his expectations.
“Will you be disappointed if I don’t like it and I don’t respond like other women?” you ask, feeling a little anxious, thinking that you’re about to ruin the moment. Again.
“If you don’t like it, then we’ll move on,” he simply says, spreading your legs wider and then landing a gentle, closed-mouth kiss on your clit, catching you off guard.
Your body stiffens for a second, not expecting that sensuous jolt, and then you relax in the next second.
"Hate that?" he asks with wistful, downturned eyes.
"I..." You still can't decide if you like it or not; you need more—
Felix lands another kiss, followed by a slow tasting of his tongue on it. He hums his approval and covers your sex with his mouth, sucking with slight pressure as his tongue laps over your clit, repeatedly.
Your mind shuts down; your body slowly goes limp as heat blooms inside you, and your face buries in the blanket as the pleasure intensifies. This feeling is new to you; your body is in a state of shock from the immense sensations, and you feel like you're about to cry when he abruptly stops.
"You don't like it?" he asks after getting no answer from you. "Let me try it another way..."
Felix pushes two fingers into you, and your eyes roll to the back as he begins a steady pace, combining it with his tongue flickering over your cunt, and somehow, you can’t stop your hips from rising to meet his thrusts.
Oh God! You're riding his hand and smothering his face with your wet cunt. You tell yourself to stop, but you can't; you find your hands tangled in his long, bleached-blond hair instead. You're tightening around him, so wet now you can hear the slippery sounds every time he pumps his fingers into you.
"I'll stop," Felix says as he licks his glistening wet lips, then rubs his tongue over you fast and hard, making you clench helplessly around his fingers.
"Felix..." you breathlessly call his name. You can't believe how needy you sound—almost pathetic even.
"One last taste..." Felix says before planting his mouth on you again. He sucks with perfect pressure, his tongue cleverly dragging out the pleasure to keep your release out of reach. He presses a parting kiss to your sex and lifts his head, stopping for real this time.
"Yeah, you look ready now," he says it so low it's almost like a whisper.
Truthfully, you've been ready for a while now, and you love the idea of demanding his... cock and him providing it; you just can’t get those words past your lips.
Apparently, the look on your face tells it all. As he props a hand next to your waist, he looks at you and asks, "Do you want it?"
You stifle a nod, and you're aware that's not enough to convey how much you want it.
His hand reaches for the strand of hair covering your face and asks again, "Do you want it now?"
Want, want, want. You eagerly respond in your head, but you force yourself to remain calm and say, "Yes."
Felix nods and lands a kiss along your jaw, then drags his lips close to your ear. With a hoarse voice, he whispers, "I'll give it to you."
His warm, soft yet firm body blankets yours as his lips bombard you with kisses, each kiss peeling away your senses along with your worries and insecurities; you eventually stop thinking altogether.
"Excuse me for a second," he says with a kiss on your lips, getting off the bed to look for something on the bedroom floor.
As Felix picks up his jeans from the floor, you watch the muscles on his back bunch and shift as he moves, admiring the twin indentations at the base of his spine. The view is nothing compared to when he turns around, showcasing his ethereal visuals and a godly figure of chiseled abs, not forgetting his cock in a size that demands your attention.
He gets onto the bed, kneeling and using his teeth to tear through the foil packet to extract the condom.
"Want to help me with it?" he offers, his eyes sparkling in the dimly lit room.
You swallow air and say, "Yes."
Your hands aren't steady, so you and he end up doing it together, and once you’re both done with it, he pulls you close. You shiver at the feel of your skin coming into contact; your nipples graze his chest, and his length burns against your lower belly. You suddenly feel very self-conscious.
Felix runs his hands up and down your back as he angles his head, trying to catch your gaze but keeps failing.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
You look at the hollow in his collarbone and hunch your shoulders forward. "I feel—I feel naked."
“We’re both naked," he states the obvious with a light smile.
You don’t know how to explain that you’re not only feeling naked on the outside but also from the inside, and that if he looks into your eyes, he’d see all of you. No one wants to see that. This is supposed to be fun and educational, not soul-baring.
Felix flashes you a smile as he tilts your head by your chin, and you catch a glimpse of tender eyes before you close yours, knowing that he's about to kiss you.
Soon, his warm lips brush over yours, tasting of him, you, and sex. His hands caress you, gently kneading the flesh of your waist before grabbing you by the thighs and hooking them around him.
Slowly, he lowers you onto the bed and then covers your body with his. He places sweet little kisses on your jaw, your neck, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, and eventually, your lips.
“If you don’t like it, if something hurts... I want you to talk to me, okay?"
As always, you give him a nod before saying the words, "Okay."
"Okay," he repeats, then sweetly kisses your lips. "Now, can you turn over for me?"
You obey him, turning over on the bed and lying on your stomach, taking in the sight of the rumpled pillows and wooden headboard.
"Lift your waist for me, please?" he politely demands, and you do what he asks, lifting your waist off the bed as he slips a pillow underneath.
It takes you a moment to understand what he's doing. In this position, he chooses not to let him see you, and at the same time, it makes you less self-conscious.
"Is this better?" he asks as he places a hot kiss on the skin behind your ear.
"Yes," you say, feeling comfortable already, but you don't think about how you can't see him and what he's going to do to you.
A low sigh escapes your lips as his rough hand glides down your back and massages the flesh in voluptuous motions. His firm chest brushes against your shoulder blades as he props an arm on the bed next to you.
You take a deep inhale as his hand reaches between your thighs, his fingers searching through your folds and sinking deep, pumping fresh essence out of you until it drips around them. As if that isn't enough, he teases your clitoris with gentle touches.
"Felix..." you desperately call his name.
"You're ready, mmh?" he asks, planting a soft kiss on the nape of your neck.
Soon, his hard length prods at your entrance and pushes its way inside, painstakingly slow, as if he wants you to feel every inch of that delicious cock stretching you out.
All this time, you thought sex was repulsive, uncomfortable and painful—something you kept avoiding because your past experiences validated those thoughts—until now. With Felix, you feel nothing but intensifying pleasure even after he is fully sheathed inside you.
"Oh, you feel too good," he whispers into your ear with a low growl.
His words make you feel all sorts of things, and you should say something about him too—how good he feels inside you, how he fills you perfectly. You try to speak like he’s asked you to, but all that comes out are gasps and sighs of pleasure. Instead, you try to communicate with your body, spreading your thighs wider for him and trying to match him thrust for thrust.
His tattooed hand propped against the mattress captures yours, and he interlaces both of your fingers together.
“Now, it's perfect," he whispers.
For a timeless moment, you're hovering on the brink until orgasm crashes over you. He knows, but he relentlessly drives into you. You try to meet his thrusts, but you can’t quite match his strength and intensity.
With your eyes closed, you dare to look over your shoulder, and he immediately captures your mouth, stroking his tongue deep into you. Before the last orgasm has finished, you feel another building. You're clenching hard, the tiny muscles fluttering around his cock.
With a hoarse groan, Felix surges into you one last time, hard and shallow, sending you both to your highs. He rubs his lips against your jaw and neck, then lowers your shaking body to the bed. He holds you, wrapping his tattooed arms around you and drawing you even closer, holding you like his.
With your eyes still shut, your fingers trail his forearm, feeling the defined muscle and the smooth skin—a combination that is utterly distracting. His scent, his warmth, and his solidness surround you, slowly lulling you into a dreamless sleep.
Now, it's perfect, you say in your head.
-
Felix breathes in deeply, letting the warm, comforting scent of your space envelop him as he burrows into the sheets, a happy sigh escaping his lips.
Slowly, he pushes himself up from the bed, and your room looks slightly different basked in the morning sunlight. Like this, he can see the colors of the books on the shelf, the hats and scarves hanging on the bedroom door, and the succulents you keep on your windowsill. Under a different light, your room looks a lot more alive.
It's also illuminating the memories of last night—your shared laughter, the sweet sounds of pleasure that echoed around him, the rustles of the sheets as your naked bodies tangled under the duvet. A rush of warmth fills him at the recollection, but as he looks around, reality settles in: he is in your room, in your apartment, and he shouldn’t overstay his welcome.
Collecting his clothes from the floor, he dresses methodically, and once in a while, he can't help but glance back at the bed where you shared such an intimate night.
Once he's decent, he steps out of the bedroom, finding you right away in the kitchen. Your hair is in a messy bun, glasses perched slightly askew on your nose, and you're dressed in a simple white t-shirt and pajama pants. You are focused on reading something on your phone while quietly eating from a bowl.
“Morning,” he greets, his voice deeper in the morning air, startling you slightly.
“Morning,” you reply, a soft smile lighting up your face.
As he continues buttoning his shirt, he slides onto a vacant stool at the small dining table.
“Orange juice?” you offer, “or do you prefer coffee?”
“Not a coffee person,” he honestly replies, and you immediately pour him a glass of orange juice, your movements easy and familiar.
You turn around to put the carton of juice back into the fridge and come back with a plate of breakfast for him, serving it in front of him.
“I don’t know what you like for breakfast, but this is what I usually cook for my roommate,” you say, sliding a plate of scrambled eggs and toast toward him.
“Wow! Thank you,” he says in utter gratitude.
Felix can’t recall the last time he enjoyed a nice breakfast with the person he had a one-night stand with; usually, he’d be gone before his partner even woke.
He glances toward the door of your roommate’s bedroom, wondering if she's inside.
“The birthday girl isn’t home yet?” he asks as he lifts his fork.
“She’s probably staying over at one of her friends,” you reply, your tone casual, suggesting you are used to this arrangement.
Felix finds it convenient this way. He enjoys the intimacy of just the two of you in the calm of the morning. The presence of another person would only ruin that.
“Is that what you usually have for breakfast?” he asks, peeking into your bowl, which contains slices of fruit, granola, and yogurt.
“Yes,” you answer with a small smile.
“Ah, that explains…” he absentmindedly says, not realizing the implications of his words until you catch his gaze.
“Explain what?” you ask, your curiosity piqued.
“Uh... that explains why you’re so smart,” he lies with a casual smile, hoping to brush off any suspicion.
The truth is, your diet explains why you smell and taste so good; the thought makes him bite back a smile, recalling the events of last night.
"Oh..." your reaction is a mix of surprise and gratitude, but he's still unsure if you understand the meaning behind his words. If you do, just know that it's a compliment.
After breakfast, Felix uses your bathroom for a quick wash-up and retrieves his jacket from the sofa. He adjusts his shirt before putting it on, realizing the time has come to leave, even though he wants to stay longer.
With heavy steps, he approaches you as you stand by the door, sensing the moment is drawing to a close.
Your eyes are on him, but your hands are clasped behind your back, your eyes shimmering with a different kind of light than when he first met you. They seem more alive now, filled with warmth.
“I want to thank you for last night,” you say, a smile creeping onto your face as the memory flashes through your head as it does for him.
“No need to thank me,” he replies. He refuses to accept your thanks when you're not the only one gaining something from last night.
“We had fun last night,” he remarks, not fully realizing he is speaking for both of you.
“I mean, I don’t know about you, but I had fun last night,” he corrects himself with an awkward laugh, pressing a hand to the pulse point on his neck out of nervousness.
“I had— I had fun last night,” you shyly remark, looking away for a second to compose yourself before looking back at him, a shy smile still lingering.
“That's good to know,” he replies, catching your shyness as it creeps into his demeanor.
A moment passes in silence as you look at each other. He has so many things to say, but no words are spoken. He can see that you're struggling to fathom your thoughts into words too.
“Felix,” you call in a different tone from the way you called him last night, yet it makes his heart flutter the same.
“Yes?” he answers, his heart beating in anticipation.
You open your mouth, but no words come out, then close it again, thinking hard about whether to say it or not.
“You can talk to me,” he assures you, his hand flying to your elbow and gently holding it.
Taking a deep breath, you finally close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his in a quick, unexpected kiss.
The surprise electrifies him, but the briefness leaves him wanting more. He quickly decides it's best to ask for forgiveness later rather than permission. He cups your jaw and leans in for a proper kiss; eventually, his lips meet yours in a kiss that means so much more than that: it's a tender connection that feels just right.
As much as he likes it, he knows he has to let go eventually. He slowly pulls away, only to see a smile blooming on your face, and his lips reflexively follow suit, smiling back at you.
“I hope that’s okay,” he murmurs, but he knows he's not sorry at all for what he did.
You nod, your smile shy yet genuine. "That’s—”
Suddenly, the door swings open, and Rex stumbles in, making a ruckus with her arrival as the keys jangle in her hand and her shoes drop onto the floor, oblivious to the intimate moment unfolding between you two.
“Oh?” she gasps, stopping in her tracks when she finally notices the two of you. Her eyes glance between you and Felix.
“Oh!!!” she exclaims again when she recognizes Felix as the guy you kissed for a dare last night.
Realizing she's interrupted something private, she hurriedly clutches her purse close to her chest and dashes into her bedroom, shouting, “I’m not here!”
The moment is shattered nonetheless, and Felix knows he can't stay here for as long as he wants, not when your roommate is now present.
“I'd better go,” he says, even though he hasn’t planned anything beyond that.
“Okay,” you say in a way that makes you sound defeated.
“Okay,” Felix repeats, hoping you would say something to extend the moment just a bit longer.
But good things often come to an end. Felix shoves his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and takes a good look at you one last time, imprinting it in the back of his mind.
“It was nice to meet you,” he earnestly says with one hand on the doorknob.
“Me too,” you reply, your smile soft and genuine, lingering in his thoughts even as he steps out of your life.
At least, for now.
-
Here you are again, surrounded by the pulsing energy of the club with Rex and her friends. You’re still the same shy, nerdy girl, yet somehow, you handle the scene better now. It's a familiar chaos, except that tonight, it's harder to ignore Felix’s absence.
Noticing that you're not having fun like everyone else, Rex leans in closer to talk against the loud music playing in the club.
“Are you disappointed that he’s not here?” she asks, her alcohol-tinted breath brushing your ear.
“Why should I be disappointed?” You scoff, trying to mask the truth. But deep down, you are counting every second since you walked in without seeing him.
“You think I didn't know that you’ve been secretly watching the door?" Rex chuckles, almost spitting her drink. "Or the way you get a little excited whenever you spot a blonde guy?"
Guilty as charged. You are caught, but admitting it feels like opening a wound. You tried not to dwell on it, convincing yourself it was just a one-night stand and these feelings... they'll eventually fade, right?
“Don’t worry,” Rex says as she gently squeezes your knee. “He’s probably still on the way.”
“He didn’t even ask for my number, Rex,” you confess, finally voicing the disappointment that has been gnawing at you ever since that day.
“Then fuck him!” she exclaims, fierce as always. “There are plenty of cute guys, and I'm sure we can find one tonight.”
"No, thank you," you flatly reject the offer.
"Why not?" Rex asks, her eyes studying you.
You scoff again, but inside, the truth lingers: you're still hung up on him.
“Because you’ve already drunk too much," you choose to lie instead, taking her drink from her hand.
Suddenly, someone enters the booth, and you recognize him instantly, even with his bleached hair slicked back. Your heart leaps at the sight of Felix. He looks just as perfect as you remember, but doubt creeps in. Does he remember that night as vividly as you do?
He stands across the table, drink in hand, smiling at you, but you manage a polite smile back, not wanting to set yourself up for another disappointment.
“How about a round of ‘Never Have I Ever’?” he suggests out of the blue, his deep voice drawing everyone’s attention.
"Yes, let's do that!" Rex enthusiastically responds while raising her drink higher in front of her.
Felix trails the rim of his glass with his tattooed finger as he thinks of something, and a while later, his eyes fiercely stare at you with a sly smile dancing on his face.
“Never have I ever... made out with a guy in a dark alley, bumped my head on a crate, gotten three stitches, and still proceeded to give him a night he can’t forget?”
A rush of warmth washes over you, either from his eyes that don’t stray away from yours even for a second or the fact that he still remembers everything. You smile nonetheless, feeling the flutter in your chest returning.
Everyone goes silent, glancing around, unsure who might have done that, except for Rex, who squeals next to you like a giddy child.
“I have,” you confidently say, out loud with a proud smile.
You take the drink from Rex’s hand and drink it in one go, wincing at the bitter aftertaste but recovering quickly.
You daringly stare back into his eyes as you take the next turn. “Never have I ever regretted not asking someone for their number?”
“I have,” he replies without missing a beat and downs his shot in one gulp.
Felix places the empty glass on the table, walks over to you, and holds his hand out to you. “Now, I dare you to come with me.”
It isn't a dare when it's exactly what you want; it's a wish come true. You take his inked hand, feeling the warmth radiate from his skin, and let him lead you away from the table and into the night.
In the dark alley where it all started, Felix pulls you close until your bodies collide, wrapping his arms around you. Impatiently, he kisses you hard and deep, full of longing.
The kiss is intoxicating, even better than you remember, and as he steers you away from the crates lining the alley to avoid any mishaps, you softly laugh.
Felix leans his back against the brick wall and holds you close, his face lingering only inches away from yours, breath mingling in the cool night air.
“Let’s avoid visiting the hospital tonight,” he playfully says.
In that dark alley, with the world falling away around you, you realize you don’t want this to ever end. You lean in, capturing his lips once more, and you melt into the kiss, bracing yourself for what you're about to ask and the answer you'll get.
“So, what now?” you ask, your fingers caressing his cheek, tracing the contours of his face.
“We can start by finishing the poem,” he says, a playful glint filling his eyes, reminding you of the lines you have barely gotten through that night.
You grin as the weight of the time you spent worrying about not seeing him again lifts off your shoulders. “Okay, but I think I need a new beginning for this one.”
This time, you know what you want, and what you want is more nights like this, more moments, and more of whatever this is between you and him, and that’s the only dare you're doing tonight: to find out what that is.
-
“(i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens; only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.”
-
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good "friends" - jennie.kim.

genre: fluff, angst (4.3k) (w!w)
summary: you couldn't help that you were in love with your best friend in the whole world, you couldn't help that you could never be her's, but you could make sure that no one else got to be her's either.
note: this is the first time i'm writing a gay fic, and i put everything i felt towards my first girl crush when i discovered i was bi, into this and i hope everyone who is brave enough to love who they love, enjoy this and of course, happy pride month <3
masterlist
“but you know, we would all just die anyway,” your best friend in the whole world, jennie, puffs out a cloud of smoke as your head rises and falls on her chest, matching her heartbeat, matching her breathing.
you were talking about a potential apocalypse, another viral outbreak, anything that would end the world as it was.
she passes the melting butt to you and as you suck in a breath, you feel the wetness her mouth left on the paper and you smile, “i would be happy to die, if it was with you.”
jennie lets out a giggle so soft, you almost don’t catch it but then she sits up, resting on her elbows, seeing your relaxed face on her body and she smiles too, “you’re feeling romantic tonight,” a teasing tone whispers from her mouth and you almost sit up, grab her face and tell her,
i want everything romantic with you,
i want everything with you.
but you laugh instead, snuggling into the warmth of her skin, you breathe out “that’s what friends are for, miss jennie kim,” and she doesn’t say anything, just shakes her head at you with affection and falls back on the bed.
you pass the cigarette back to her and wonder if she feels you on it too.
-
“and the statistics should come by tomorrow, we’ll discuss it again and take the necessary measure,” your co-worker, andrew, droned on, in a too confident and too boring way, you stifle a laugh when you catch jennie’s eye from across the table.
she rolls her eyes at the presentation and you roll your eyes back, both of you smile as if there weren’t thirty other people in the conference room who could turn and see you being lost in each other.
when you were dismissed, you wait for jennie by the door but just as she reaches you with eager steps, “ms.kim! would you mind staying back for a minute?” andrew’s voice booms from the other end of the conference room and you catch the wince on jennie’s face.
“of course, sir,” she turns back to you with a pout and it takes everything in you to not melt into the floor, “go, save yourself, i’ll catch you later,” jennie whispers to you and then runs away but the warmth of her whisper stays in your ears and burns in your cheeks.
on your desk, you click through photos that you and jennie took over the years, she looked gorgeous in everything, you looked pretty when you were with her.
and this wasn’t your insecurity speaking, you were happy when you were with jennie, and that happiness gleamed on your face more than any highlighter in the world. it made you pretty, you felt your most beautiful whenever you were with her.
you look up as you see her skirt float behind her, and you swear you don’t mean to stare, you really don’t but you do, anyway. you always do.
it wasn’t your fault, she sat there, flipping her hair and tying it into a ponytail, leaning over her screen with the faintest red cheeks, and her eyes narrowed and widened at her screen comically with every single click of her finger.
you wouldn’t look away even if you could, you had no better use of your time.
“she’s really pretty,” you hear andrew behind you and instinctively, you turn to agree, to say ‘she is, and she will never be yours’ but he was your boss, and you were in an office, whether you liked it or not.
but then, you realize he wasn’t even talking to you, he was just behind you and he was talking to someone else, about jennie, about your best friend, jennie.
your cheeks grow hot, not in the way jennie made them sometimes (or always), but with a simmering anger that you felt all the way down to your clenching toes.
“do you think i should ask her out?” andrew chimes again and you clench your teeth next, setting your eyes on the changing pixels in front of you, “why not? i’m pretty sure she’s single,” another voice comes in and you jerk your chair back, standing up.
“she’s not,” you say, louder than you intended to and they look at you quizzically before their faces go up in uncomfortable smiles.
“were you listening in on us?” the other guy accuses you, and andrew shakes his head, pulling the guy back, “she’s just telling us about her friend, chill man.”
he was being reasonable. unlike you.
you suddenly felt small.
small and petty.
small and petty and angry.
small and petty and angry and-
“but is it true?” andrew’s voice breaks through again and you look up, head a bit foggy with the truck of emotions that crashed your insides.
“yes, she is not single.” you say with a dismissive bow and plop back down on your seat to click through your screen frantically.
you hear andrew hum behind you.
as if he didn’t believe you.
and a new rage brew in you.
but before you embarrass yourself again, his footsteps recede from you and you breathe out.
jennie was single.
you wish she wasn’t. but she was.
and if andrew found out, well he couldn’t do anything but he was your boss.
and this was an office, whether you liked it or not.
-
“and then she started pissing me off, why would i want her boyfriend? has she seen his face?” jennie snickers, sipping her tea beside you and you laugh with her, “god knows she deserves better but all the pretty girls go for the worst guys,” you shake your head with your eyes rolling back and she nods in agreement, sighing out.
the office break room was far removed from the rest of the office, everyone came here for privacy and some came to make calls, some came to make out, some came to exchange numbers, and some came to watch their crush sip tea beside them.
“it’s really sad, why can’t pretty girls be with each other?” she shrugs her shoulders and you feel light-headed at her words.
pretty girls.
with.
each other.
“yeah, why don’t pretty girls date each other?” you ask back and jennie frowns, not understanding your question, “i mean, that would be ideal but most are straight so,” she sighs again as if she wasn’t one of those pretty girls who was straight.
but you weren’t sure about that either.
last she told you, she wasn’t sure either.
you were sure about yourself.
but because she never was sure, you never felt it was right to hurry her or even ask her anything about it.
today could be your lucky day though.
“hey jennie, can i ask you something?” she looked up at you with raised eyebrows, eyes narrowing down at your nervous tone and your mouth suddenly felt as if someone stuffed a roll of cotton into it.
both of you were past the point of asking to ask questions, you were past that point of politeness and formalities which made your question completely out of character for the two of you.
“shoot,” she whispers, deciding to entertain you and you clear your throat, chugging the last of your tea and gripping the cup to give you strength.
but pretty girls just can’t be left alone.
“jennie!” andrew came bursting in the door with his usual charismatic flair and the color in your face drained.
you three should never be in the same place, not after you lied to him and never told jennie that you lied to him.
she turns around with a smile to greet him, one you notice is a bit tight, the professional smile she gives at work, and your chest unclenches. a sigh of relief stays in your throat.
a professional smile.
in a professional setting.
she doesn’t smile at them like she smiles at you, she doesn’t hug them like she hugs you and she doesn’t see them the way she sees you.
right?
but then, you hear her soft laugh.
and your brain burns with green-lit flames.
he was making her laugh.
in the one minute that you looked away, got lost in your thoughts, tried to convince yourself that she would never be with him, the way she is with you, he makes her laugh.
“ah, you’re here too, always by her side” he snickers and jennie nods, she beams at you and you feel the flames cool. you catch the look on his face, the distaste at your presence that never seemed to leave her side, the disgust at your very face but you stared back at him, with just as much distaste, just as much disgust.
then he turns back to jennie with this dazzling smile and your flames return.
“i wanted to show you something, actually” he speaks through his smile to her and completely ignores you.
you’re fine with that.
what you’re not fine with is, when andrew moves closer to her, in the already cramped room and places his phone between them, swipes his fingers in a way that they barely caress the back of her hand and jennie sees the images of his vacation with an interest you never thought she had.
the whole scene kills you.
him, next to her, you felt his warmth through her and you didn’t like it.
her, next to him, laughing and complimenting his pictures because she was nice like that, you felt her warmth too but it was divided, it was between him and you, and not just you. you didn’t like it.
you, next to both of them, gripping your cup so hard that you heard it crack in your hands and your eyes gathered hot tears.
they were the kind of tears that couldn’t come from sadness, they were the kind to only arise from the deepest, darkest depths of your anger, they were the kind to blur your vision so badly that you couldn’t even see your own two feet in front of you.
you waited.
one minute.
two minutes.
three minutes.
you watch the clock as it ticks by and each minute, your tears enter and exit your lash line.
“by the way, how’s your boyfriend, jennie? all well?” his voice breaks your tears and now, your face went down with shame, as if the situation wasn’t upsetting enough already.
jennie tilts her head in confusion, that’s when she catches his pointed gaze towards you.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” she smiles unsurely and you see her hands clench and unclench on the sides of her body.
“oh, y/n was just telling us that you weren’t single, so i assumed, i’m deeply sorry if that made you uncomfortable,” he pleads with puppy eyes that make you gag and jennie whips her head to you, the gears in her mind creak loudly.
you only shake your head in defeat.
“oh that,” jennie starts and you hold your breath, you wait for the humiliation to crash and burn into you, “she must’ve been talking about my last date, i forgot to tell her that it went badly, that’s on me,” she laughs breezily, bumping your shoulder and for that minute, you could’ve gone down on your knees and popped out a ring.
“ah, i see,” andrew looks delighted at her answer but he seems to have the shame not to show it too much.
but you can’t stand being around them anymore.
“excuse me,” you mutter and walk out of the room as quickly as your legs can carry you, the last thing you hear before leaving is, “hey, so there’s this event next week,” and you never wanted to hear the rest.
but that day jennie came back home and sat on the edge of your bed, “hey, so there’s this event next week,” and you had to hear the rest of it.
-
“and you’re positive that he said it’s okay for me to come?” you ask for the fifteenth time, “i’m actually going to hit you,” jennie glares at you but then her face melts into the broadest grin which reassures you, she grabs your hands and squeezes, somehow you feel it in your chest “it’s going to be fine, i’m never leaving your side,” and that makes you slip in deeper into the pit you’ve made for her love.
and you were alone in that pit, grabbing at the edges and pulling yourself up, but a flash of andrew’s face, a flash of his heat, has you falling all the way back in its depth.
and it’s cold in the pit, it’s scary in the pit, wondering if she will ever like you or if you will have to feel her warmth forever and never be able to call it your’s.
andrew’s mansion didn’t surprise you, you had heard of how he grew up with a wealthy family, how his family’s connections directly made him your boss even if you and jennie had more experience, he was everything you hated in a man and he was everything jennie tolerated in a man.
which only terrified you.
“now, where is he?” jennie tries to look over the crowd of well-dressed people who were dripping in jewels that blinded you, that only reminded you that jennie liked shiny things and you were as dull as dull could be.
then, you see him, catch his eye over twenty heads and he nods at you with a smirk, you almost vomit on your feet.
you could ignore him, never tell jennie that you found him, and whisk her away, eat the expensive food, drink the expensive drinks, and take her back to the home you made together, where you would lay on her chest and share a cigarette.
so, you turn her away and use her shoulders to guide her towards the other side of the room, away from the boy who tried to follow but failed.
“i think i saw him that way,” you mumble into her ears and her shoulders drop in relaxation under your palms, she lets you pull her away and you think ‘i won, this one time, i won.’
you drink the expensive drinks, several of them actually, some of them only out of spite, and jennie eyes you, completely amused at your determination to bleed him dry (even if the drinks didn’t make the softest dent in his wallet.)
you eat the expensive food, all while complaining about the lightning of the room, the tacky furniture, and the overall disappointing vibe of the people, and again, jennie listens, she smiles and laughs with you.
when you reach the garden beside his mansion, you have no words of hate left in you, you stare ahead at the lush green bushes and flowers that move softly in the night, your hand is clutched in jennie’s and nothing can make the scene better.
“you know, this is the most fun i’ve had all day,” you whisper with your head on her shoulders and back pressed against the side of andrew’s home and you feel safe, you feel calm, you feel loved.
“me too, but it would’ve been fun going to some club together too.”
together.
you wanted to tell her that the ‘together’ you were right now, wasn’t enough and the ‘together’ you wanted, was…well, maybe something she would never want.
“jennie,” you breathed out, not knowing what you would say next, if the words you wanted would ever come out, but then she looks at you, her head tilts, her hair falls in her eyes and she stares at you with earnest, with the kind of love that you would move mountains for.
every movement of her body that faced you, a face that breathed out air that you took in, hair that flowed with the wind, fingers that brushed the side of your body, toes that dug into her heels, all of it dug itself under your skin.
“yeah?” she hums, waiting for you, always so patient, always so sweet, always so close but so, so far.
and you almost say it, always let your words leave you and go to her, where they belonged.
“jennie!”
and your words crawl back to you.
the pit reopens under your feet as andrew’s shape breaks the night, he breaks the circle of calm that you and jennie floated in, and suddenly, its straight backs and fake cheery greetings.
but then.
he steps forward.
his arms go up.
she steps forward.
her arms go up.
and she is in his arms.
he is in hers.
he steals your warmth in a second.
he doesn’t even look at you.
and your fists curl so hard that your nails break the soft skin of your palm.
for anyone else, it’s just a hug, a friendly hug.
to you, it’s the end of the world.
they pull back with smiles.
if maybe you weren’t so livid about the hug, you would notice her smile, her professional smile.
but you were.
you were so livid that you could throw andrew into a thorny bush and never regret a thing, you were so livid that the open wound on your palm was the last thing on your mind, you were so livid that you could-
“..great party, we’re having so much fun, you organized it well,” jennie speaks and andrew laughs, waving his hand, “oh this is nothing, i’m glad you’re having a good time, did you find the address alright?” his hand returns to her shoulder and you watch as his fingers brush the skin beside the fabric of her top.
“yes, your message helped a lot,” she nods and smiles, and his hand falls from her shoulder. but the skin he touched, stares back at you, mocks you, laughs at you.
and tears gather in your eyes again.
they were texting.
were they flirting on text?
did he ask her how her day was?
did he ask her if she ate?
did he tell her a flower that he saw on his way to work, reminded him of her?
did she tell her day was good, it was better when she would see him?
did she say she ate well, did he?
did she giggle at her phone and send him a heart when she talked to him?
falling off a mountain would be easier to get up from.
getting run over on a highway would be softer than this.
death would be kinder than this for you.
then, she laughs at something he says.
and your fists curl again, more blood smears on your palms and your tears blur your vision.
the whole scene kills you.
you feel your body shutting down as their voices swim around you, as their laughs dig into your spine and drop you to your knees, as their combined warmth knocks you off your feet.
“let me show you this painting i have inside,” andrew says and you panic.
if they go inside together, that was it for you, that was all the confirmation you needed to know that whatever hope you held for you and jennie, you could burn it to the ground and sing it goodbye.
it was now or never.
you either tell jennie now or stay silent forever, bury your love so deep into your pit that no one could unearth it.
“i would love that,” jennie cheers and you watch her take his hand, you watch as she eyes him, but you still don’t notice her tight smile.
then, you see her hand dangle in the back, reaching for something…and you are the only one behind her.
it was now or never.
it was now or never.
it was now or never.
it was now or never.
it was now or neve-
it was not something you thought you could do.
up until the minute your skin touched hers, you thought you never should.
but your hand grabbing her elbow, and gently pulling her back, makes you question everything you were ever capable of.
maybe you could always do this, but you just never did.
when jennie turns back, you take a deep breath and only shake your head.
you stare right at her as your head moves and she stares, for a second, a minute, an hour, no one knows.
but her eyes widen and her hand drops from andrew’s.
“i think i’ll be there in a minute,” she smiles at him and this time, you see the tightness in her smile.
he stares at you, sneers at you, and whips his head back to enter his home.
maybe you will be out of a job tomorrow.
but that didn’t matter.
jennie stepped closer to you, a bit unsure and hesitant, and all the courage you had drained out of you.
“what was that?” she asks, and you know what she’s talking about but your words are too scared now, they don’t want to come out and you’re their slave.
“i’m talking to you,” she says again, her voice wavering.
she waits.
but she isn’t patient anymore.
she sees your head facing the ground, your hair falling around your face and she wants to shake you to get an answer, she wants to hug you and she wants to yell at you.
“i-“
“i hate everything,” comes out from you, and jennie quiets, the night quiets too, the leaves stop rustling, the trees stop moving and the flowers turn up to listen to you.
more important than all of them, jennie listens to you.
“i hate everything when i’m not with you,” you sniffle, your tears running their track across your face and collecting under your chin, “i hate everyone when they’re with you, i hate every inch of their skin that touches you, i hate every word they say that you listen to, i hate every joke they make that you laugh at,” you wipe your face furiously, remembering every person who you hated and feeling pathetic for hating them.
“and i don’t know what to do, i don’t want to hate them because they’re not bad people, but when someone else is beside you, i feel lost, as if the place that was mine in this world, is stolen” your heart burns as you speak senselessly, your own words sound ridiculous to you but when you look up and see tears at the edge of jennie’s pretty eyes, you keep going.
“i don’t want you to be with someone else, i don’t want you to laugh with them, i don’t want them to be what i am to you,” you suck in a breath and laugh bitterly, “i want all of that with you, i don’t want to be your friend, i hate being your friend, i always have wanted to be something more, i always want to have everything with you.”
a pause.
a look at her.
the relief of her attention.
“sometimes, when we lay in bed, i want to ask you if your chest is tight too, if you feel me on the tip of your cigarette, if you ever want to kiss me but i can’t. still, i’m asking now, p-please let me be everything to you too,” and then you see her, really see her, not her pretty eyes and her soft hair, you see just a girl, holding back tears with a trembling jaw and shaking hands.
“tell me you want it too jennie, please,” you feel no shame when you beg her, you only feel the weight crushing your chest lift from you and go to her.
you just have to wait to see if she carries it or not.
for a few seconds, the world moves around you but you feel suspended, out of motion, out of energy to move or breathe or feel, you feel like ash flying away with the air.
but then, she steps forward.
eyes still so full of tears.
you want to wipe it away.
you want to cry it all instead.
but then.
but then.
she takes your weight, she makes it hers.
her arms loop around your neck and they tug your head down, you smile at how much you have to reach down to face her but that smile wipes away when her lips brush against yours.
slowly.
with a hint of hesitation.
but you pull her closer.
and for the next few minutes, you kiss her as if searching for stars in her mouth, right outside of andrew’s home and you smile again.
-
on the way home, you are surrounded, by her scent, her touch, and your most favourite, her warmth.
and now, her warmth, was all yours.
you lean on each other as you wait for the bus, then you watch as your bus passes you.
and then.
and then.
you just cuddle into each other even more, and you smile, as if you weren’t capable of doing anything else with your face.
when you reach home, it’s pitch black but you see her, she sees you and your cigarette lights up to guide the both of you back to where you belong, on your bed, with your head on her stomach and her fingers in your hair and the hand that she bandaged, plays with her fingers.
and as jennie passes her cigarette to you, you know she feels it this time, you on the wilting paper of it and you feel her, as you always have.
the feeling of belonging to someone and having them belong to you, eclipses everything else in your life and you feel it especially when she props up on her elbows and whispers,
“i would be happy to die, if it was with you too,” and when you say, “you’re feeling romantic tonight,” she smiles and falls back on the bed.
“that’s what girlfriends are for.”