Don't Get Attached | Drabble Series

Don't Get Attached | Drabble Series

"We're still on break, got it?"

“Y/n?” a female voice is muffled by the sound of the music outside. Fixing my curls, I tighten the strap of my two-piece before turning to Yoona, the host of the nightclub I’m currently working at. Very odd pairing, I know, I’m still not sure how I got the job, but it’s quick money, right? It’s only been a few weeks since I started, but I still cringe over the idea of satisfying the male gaze, so, I try to numb that part of my consciousness at work. As far as I’m concerned, this is temporary, just until I can pay off my mom’s hospital bills. She was diagnosed with Diabetes a month ago and had to be hospitalized for treatment, which unfortunately, as with everything in this capitalistic world was not free. 

Cut scene to the present time, I’ve learned to somewhat navigate this nightlife business, learning a few tips and tricks from the other girls, who are way older than me but are also struggling financially. I guess we are all just trauma-bonded in the end. To be quite frank, money wasn’t the only thing that fueled this decision of mine. Today also marks a month since Jungkook and I decided to take a break from our relationship. Nothing really happened aside from the fact that I was stood up and caught him with another girl, the usual plot, right? Anyway, I think this job came to me as a source of distraction, dissociating myself from reality until the thoughts in my head outscream the DJ at the front. Why didn’t we just break up, altogether? Fair question. Well, based on Jungkook’s words, he was meant to “change” over this period of separation and supposedly “can’t bear to lose me”, or something like that.  We’ll see, he’ll either be my everything or yet another lesson. 

“Someone is here for you. They’ve booked out a VIP room?” Yoona sounds and looks unsure, resting her head on the door frame before letting out a deep sigh. 

“Who? Is it Mark? I told the security not to let him in anymore,” I say almost irritated by the mere thought of that man. Ugh, he was the epitome of a manchild, always whining and demanding everything to go his way. I’m sorry, but my dignity will not be negotiated over money. I would rather die poor than have someone walk all over me because they can. 

“I’m not sure, I’m sorry. It’s so busy out there, you know with Valentine's Day and all,” she sighs, rubbing her temples. Oh, right. It’s also my first Valentine's without Jungkook in about two years. Just more fuel to the fire, I guess. 

“That’s okay Yoona, thanks for letting me know,” I reassure her with a soft smile, taking a deep breath before heading out. She wasn’t lying, the club is full to the brim. Every corner is occupied by a man with a stack of dollar bills in his hands, surrounded by bottles of champagne and naked bodies. 

Knock Knock Knock 

“Hello … what? What are you doing here, Jeon?” I almost yelp, jumping from the sight of his rested form on the velvet couch. Those naked bodies that I mentioned before, well, turns out I wasn’t an exception, covered in nothing but a lacey two-piece bedazzled with fake rhinestones. So, you could imagine the panic in my eyes, as I tried to pathetically hide behind a nearby curtain. Technically, it’s nothing he hasn’t seen already, but now it’s different. 

“I don’t know, what do people usually come here to do?” Jungkook grins, stretching his body before resting his head on his tattooed hand. 

“How did you find me?” I snap, still behind the curtain, too ashamed to come out. 

“Does it really matter if I’m already here?” there is a distinct hint of lure in his tone as his eyes focus on my furrowed expression. 

“Stop playing. I told you we needed a break,” I snap again, only this time with my body fully exposed to his visual field. Crossing my arms over my chest, I walk towards him, determined to prove that I in fact am not flustered by his presence. 

“I am on a break … and it’s pretty relaxing so far if I say so myself,” Jungkook grins, eyeing me up and down before leaning his arms on his knees, moving in closer. 

“Well, I’m not dancing for you if that’s what you want,” I scoff, rolling my eyes at his teasing sense of humour. 

“That’s okay, I don’t want you to dance,” he reassures with a soft smile, except nothing about him or this situation is soft. Suffocating at best. 

“Then what exactly do you want?” 

“Sit on my lap, y/n, and we’ll see what happens next,” he says hushedly, hooded gaze looking up at my scattering eyes as his hands trace up my thighs. 

“Fuck off Jungkook,” I try to walk away until his grasp on my arm tightens, pulling me back onto his lap. Now, inches away from each other, there is virtually no air to breathe. 

“Careful love, you know I only ask nicely once,” he whispers into my ear, softly nibbling on the skin before looking back at my flushed face.  

“Let me go, Koo,” I insist with my gaze still lowered as I try to push myself out of his grip. 

“Mhmm … Koo. I missed your voice. Say it again, y/n,” Jungkook pleads softly, leaning his head closer to meet my eyes. “Please?” he adds, caressing my red cheek with the back of his hand. Feeling my chest heave up, it’s hard to breathe. Unable to break out of his possession, there isn’t much I can do but give in to his desires. 

“Koo?” I say softly, innocent eyes looking up at his darkened orbs as his fingertips traced my lips.  

“Good girl, aren’t you?” he grins with a sly wink, before nuzzling his face into my neck, hugging my form tighter than before. Feeling his hot breath on my skin, I can’t help but succumb to the adrenaline and panic running through my veins. 

“I have to go,” I stutter abruptly, moving his face up to mine. Searching his eyes, there is an evident sense of emptiness behind them. Sadness even. 

“Please stay, y/n. You must be tired, let me take care of you,” he pleads into my palms, placing a soft kiss on the tip of my index finger which was covered by a bandaid. And, although I knew I would regret it later, I stayed. 

“Okay,” I whisper, straddling his thighs as my legs go numb at this point. Nibbling on my lips, I watched as he pulled out a black ribbon out of his jean jacket. 

“May I?” he asks innocently. 

“Oh, do I have a choice?” I chuckle at the way that innocent smile of his quickly turned into a sly grin. Tucking a few curls behind my ear, Jungkook leans closer before tying the ribbon over my eyes, gentle with his touch. Giving up yet another sense to his possession, I feel the panic rush in again. 

“Wait!” I snap abruptly, gripping his arms. “Whatever you do … this doesn’t mean anything. We’re still on a break, got it?” I try to convince both of us, before finally giving in. 

“Of course, whatever you say y/n,” Jungkook whispers into a needy kiss, nibbling on my bottom lip as his hands unclasp the bedazzled bra. Feeling his kisses go down to my neck, purple hues of desire begin to mark my skin. One thing is for sure, our lust for each other has been desperately fueling the whole of that break. And, as I hesitate to touch him, Jungkook senses my tension before placing my hands on his exposed chest, gliding them up and down his defined abs. 

“It’s still all yours, baby,” he whispers into my ear, laying me down on the velvet couch. Alarmed by the cracking sound in the background, my chest heaves up in suspense before a cold sensation hits my consciousness. Gliding an ice cube down my stomach, Jungkook’s hooded eyes watch in satisfaction as my back arches from the feeling. Licking the trail of melting water, he sucks on the soft skin, leaving a few love bites behind that turn me into a whimpering mess. 

“Koo,” I whine, reaching out to feel his arms. That is until a yelp escapes my parted lips as he glides the melting ice cube under my panties, which are already wet. With my chest heaving up, there was no time to even protest as his grip on my thighs tightened, moving me closer to him. 

“I’ll warm you up, baby,” Jungkook reassures with a raspy tone, helping me take off the lacey fabric before putting it in his pocket. Leaving a trail of kisses up my thighs, he stopped by my throbbing core which was now hot and cold at the same time. 

“Hi, gorgeous,” he grins.

Don't Get Attached Masterlist

Dear Koo | Teaser

➪ Pairing: penpal Jungkook x female reader 

➪ Synopsis: Dear Koo is an advice column for all of y/n's confessions, questions, and delusions. A safe haven for her inevitable cries for help as she navigates through adulthood. Who is the lucky know-it-all on the other side of the line, you might ask? Well, it's none other than Mr. Jeon Jungkook, the president of the Lovers Club and the boy who had cared for her since their diaper days. After moving abroad for his studies, Jungkook vowed to keep in touch by creating this submission box. "I'm just one Dear Koo away, y/n,"

➪ Genre: platonic relationship, fluff, childhood best friends, coming-of-age

Like a Hostage

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱

⇢ warning: explicit language, mentions of rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, drug use, alcohol use, and suicide. ⇢ w.c: 4.5k

Spending the rainy Friday at home, Jungkook browsed through the list of recently added movies on Netflix before clicking the one with the most viewer votes. And, as you rested your legs on his lap, the two of you shared a warm glance once his hands naturally began massaging your toes, careful with the bruise on your ankle. One that you comedically earned from your skiing accident, where you overestimated your skills or better the lack of them and dared to race your athlete-build boyfriend. Needless to say, despite giving you a headstart, you found yourself dumbfounded in his embrace after an innocent rabbit scare led to your crash into a nearby snow pile. 

“Does it still hurt?” he asked, palm gently hovering over the purple hues. 

“Not really. I’ve been using that cream you gave me,” you replied with a soft smile, drawing circles on his tattooed forearm. 

“Next time, let's verse in something that won’t leave you in a cast, mmhh?” Jungkook teased, placing a gentle peck on your hand before intertwining his fingers with yours. 

Diverting your attention back to the screen, your sleepy gaze suddenly widened as the camera panned closer to the female lead's naked body during a steamy shower scene. Flinching at the visuals you stare at the ceiling, awkwardly fumbling with the rings on your fingers before Jungkook notices your tension, quickly skipping over the intimate parts. 

“Y/n, is everything okay?” he asked quietly, glancing down at your flushed state. 

“Mmhm,” 

“Baby, what's on your mind? Tell me,” he leaned in closer, tucking a few stray hairs out of your face. 

“Nothing, it's stupid,” you managed to form somewhat of a reassuring smile before glancing back at his sly grin. 

See, you’ve always wanted to save yourself for marriage, and while the decision didn’t stem from religious beliefs or values it was significantly fueled by your desire to have control over your life. At least some parts of it. If it was up to you, in a perfect world where children were born into love, you wouldn’t be consumed by the dreadful shame of knowing that the bride’s side of the family would consist of only yourself. Since, once your parents left, so did the structure in your life as you tiptoed over the cracks in the weathering foundation, but now, the cards were in your hands. And, you were dedicated to the hope of blooming at your own pace and with the right person. However, to this day, somewhere deep in your subconscious, this tiny voice of doubt kept daunting your decision. Would it be fair for Jungkook if you starved him of your touch? How long would he be willing to withhold his lust until one day you were no longer worth it? 

“Oh, come on, don’t be shy. It’s natural. But, I guess now we know why this was the top pick. Horny bastards,” Jungkook chuckled, sneaking in a quick wink before resting his head on the couch. 

“Well, you must have thought about it, right?” your eyebrows furrowed, lifting your torso from the blanket cover. 

“About what?” 

“You know,” you murmured under your breath, feeling the flush in your cheeks. 

“Have I thought about sex with you?” Jungkook’s voice deepened, hooded gaze slowly observing every inch of your exposed body. 

“Shhh, why are you so loud?” you yelped, hushing his lips with your index finger until his hold on your hand tightened, and with one swoop you were exactly where he wanted. On his lap. Lips inches apart. 

“Y/n, I think about you all the time.” he grinned, tracing the bottom of your pouty lips as your breath hitched in your throat. “Not, in a freaky, call 911, stalker type of way, but…” he leaned in closer. 

“I think about the heart-shaped vein on your eyelid …” he whispered into a soft kiss on your lid. 

“I think about the moon tattoo behind your ear …” shivers went down your spine as his teeth gently grazed your skin, hands roaming under your tank top. 

“I think about the little mole on your ring finger, and the way your baby hairs curl up after you come out of the shower,” Jungkook's eyes searched your fluttering gaze, the back of his palm gently stroking your cheek as you unconsciously melt into his touch. 

“No, you know, that’s almost exactly what a stalker would notice,” you teased, tightening your hold on his hand as he tried to intertwine his fingers with yours. 

“Oh, sweetpea, if only you could read the thoughts in my head,” he sighed, resting his forehead on yours before pulling you closer onto his lap. “But, I need you more than I want you,” his words echoed in your ears, playing over and over again like a broken record. 

There’s a difference between a need and a want. You might want it to stop raining because the humidity has been frizzing up your hair, but you need water to survive. Like it or not, without it, you’d be dead in three days. Shrivelled up like a raisin in the sun. In the same way, although the sexual attraction between you and Jungkook was obvious to the naked eye, there was a fine line between your want and need for each other. He might not be the best at showing it, but behind all that ink and muscle, was a lost boy who’s spent his life running from his past, in search of something that would make him fight for the future. So, as far as he’s concerned, as long as you were breathing, his life served a purpose. One to protect, love, and care for you and the battle scars that were left behind. To him, you were the water that the human body feared losing. 

Eyes flickering down to your lips, Jungkook smiled into a teasing kiss as your hands rested on his chest, burning tension depriving you of oxygen. He was gentle, hooded gaze searching your eyes for hints of discomfort. But your orbs were dark, infused with the craving for his touch, the need to be close, skin to skin, as one singularity. 

“Koo?” you whispered, softly pulling on his silver chains. 

“Yes, y/n,” he grinned, biting down on his bottom lip.  

“Can I?” you asked with a hesitant plead, hands gently caressing the side of his neck. 

“I’m all yours, love,” he whispered in your ear, unbuttoning his black dress shirt before tracing your fingers down his sculpted chest. 

Admiring the lust in your boyfriend’s eyes, you felt the knot in your stomach tighten as your lips left a trail of needy kisses on his burning skin. Sucking on his soft spots, hushed moans escaped his parted lips as his grip on your thighs tightened. And, with a slow pace, your bodies fell in sync, grinding against the tempting friction. 

“Y/n?” Jungkook whispered, gently lifting you off his lap before laying you down on the sofa. 

“Mmhm,” 

“Can I?” his veiny hands trailed up your waistline, hooded gaze glancing up at the mess he created. But, despite giving him a nod of reassurance, he knew better than to go against your better judgment. Valuing your boundaries, he never wanted you to feel rushed, consumed by regret or questions of his intentions. So, he asked again, broad shoulders hovering over your form as his chains dangled inches away from your lips. 

“I need to hear you, baby,” 

“Yes, yes you can, Koo,” you giggled, pulling him into a long kiss, as his body layed on top of yours. 

Pinning your hands against the headrest, his warm touch embraced every crevice of your heaving chest, tossing your bra on the floor. And, as you laid under him, your eyes linked, fueling a kick of adrenaline spreading through your system. It was a bit of everything, all at once. The nerves, the pleasure and the aftermath. 

But, for now, your mind was solely consumed by the effect of his soft lips as they marked your collarbone in paints of purple possession, forcing you to dig deeper into his back. Enjoying the pain, echoes of Jungkook’s groans filled the dim room, admiring the way your back arched from the sensation as the friction between your sensitive heat and the evident bulge in his jeans became harder to ignore. 

“Baby, we have to stop,” he said with a furrowed gaze, tilting his head back as you watched the sweat roll down his heaving chest. 

“Did I do something wrong?” you quietly asked, covering yourself with his shirt. 

“If you do one more thing right, I won’t be able to pay for my actions,” Jungkook hushed your nerves with a sly wink before cuddling into your warm embrace, taking in the smell of the cherry-scented perfume that you wore on your first date. 

To him, it was so bluntly obvious that it was never about your body, your eyes or your sweet smile that made him fall in love. It was the way you made him feel at ease. The way you calmed the turbulence of chaos in his mind with a single touch, a single whisper of reassurance. When you were by his side, the world seemed a little less shitty. 

But, if it were really that simple, the story would’ve already ended. No? Yet, here we are. Anticipating the worst, not knowing the half of the abuse. Please don’t forget that love is bittersweet and when two souls are tethered by the heartstrings of their past, the fear of old pain could foreshadow the end.

“Mom?” Jungkook’s voice echoed through the dark corridor as he slowly pushed the unlocked door of his parent’s house. 

“Mom? It’s me, where are you?” he called out again, furrowed gaze scanning the surroundings for hints of life. Until whispers of his mother’s voice muffled from the haunting gloom leading up to the second floor. Attempting to turn on the lights, sparks of electricity burst through the living room chandelier, forcing Jungkook to resort to the flashlight on his phone. Careful with his steps, the creaking sound of the old wood accompanied his way up to his mother’s room where she sat on the edge of the bed, back facing the door. 

“Mom?”

“Jungkook? What are you doing here?” she asked quietly without even a glance, wiping the dried tear stains off her lifeless face. 

“I … I wanted to remind you that y/n and I will be leaving town for a week. I mentioned it over the phone but thought it would be best if I came in person as well,” he explained, worried gaze lowered to the bruises on her wrists. They looked fresh, like the abuse happened recently. And judging by the state of the room, the chances of it happening were high, as the floor remained witness to the littered bottles of antidepressants and liquor. 

“Mom, is everything alright? Did you and Dad fight again?” Jungkook asked, kneeling in front of his mother’s still form before she abruptly pulled her knees to her chest, scooching further away from his touch as her widened eyes stared back at his. 

“That stupid bitch. I never liked her, always hogged you like a slut.” she cried out in frustration, shaking her head in denial. “No, no, go ahead. Leave, for all I care. Let your father beat me to death but don’t come crying back when I’m finally gone.” the rage in her voice grew stronger with each word, bitting down the tears before her bloodshot eyes lowered again. 

She knew y/n was never the problem, but it was easier to be angry at people than to tell them that you’re hurting. So, that’s exactly what she learned to do, all she grew to know. She became angry at the world, at the guilty and the innocent. Leaving Jungkook as her weakness, the one person in her life that she wasn’t able to give up even if that meant losing herself to the abuse of her husband. But, the more time Jungkook spent with y/n, the less time he had to protect his mother. So, he became a buffer, neutralizing the flames that slowly burned down his family tree. However, in doing so, he developed a fear of commitment, unable to give someone his all when the desperate cries for help beating from his mother’s chest grew to consume him. 

“It’s me or her, son,” her voice trembled, hands reaching for his as Jungkook’s head rested on the edge of the bed. 

“But why? Why do I have to choose? Why can’t you let me have one thing for myself? Wasn’t Jieun’s death enough?” he cried out, choking on the tears that rolled down his face. 

“Don’t you dare bring up your sister,” 

“Why not? If it weren’t for your guys' constant fights she wouldn’t have jumped. Jieun-ie would still be here, with me,” Jungkook’s voice broke down, furrowed gaze hidden behind his trembling hands before he was brought back to that night. The night his world turned upside down. The night his little sister plumaged to her death, leaving behind a void in his heart that no one has been able to heal. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” his mother’s voice pierced through his dwelling, as her cold gaze glanced out the window with not one hint of remorse. 

“Then explain it to me,”

“I can’t. It’ll only make you hate you more,” 

“Try me,” Jungkook scoffed, resting his head on the window frame beside her. 

“She was raped. Your father raped Jieun … and when she tried to call the police … he threatened to shoot me. That night, when you went out to your friend’s house, two officers knocked on our door with suspicion of abuse. But, your father was a powerful man and a good liar at that, so, he demanded a warrant unless they wanted to settle everything in court. And, after they left we had a big fight, he wouldn’t stop, nothing could stop the rage in his eyes. I tried pleading with him, to let Jieun leave so she wouldn’t have to hear me scream because I was ashamed. But, he wouldn’t let that happen, he wanted to punish her for going against him. So, she heard everything and died because of the guilt.” his mother’s voice broke down into a whisper as she struggled to breathe, feeling the tightness in her throat. 

“Mom!” Jungkook pulled her behind him, as the door suddenly slammed open, revealing the daunting silhouette of his father. Who was, naturally, drunken out of his mind. The smell of alcohol travelling with his steps, as he inched closer to their still bodies. 

“Finally came back home, son?” he grinned, opening up his arms as a welcome back hug. 

“Don’t call me that.” Jungkook hissed, feeling his mother’s hands tighten their hold on his jacket as her panic kicked in. 

“What did she tell you?” the man growled, dropping the fake smile as his furrowed gaze pierced through her hideout. 

“Don’t you dare to come closer.” Jungkook threatened, slowly moving back before they hit a wall. 

“Or what?” his father sneered maniacally with a raised brow and a slight head tilt, plunging onto Jungkook with his fists in the air. Squeezing her eyes shut, the woman flinched behind her son’s broad shoulders as the sound of shattering glass suddenly echoed in her ear. Watching the blood run down his veiny hands, Jungkook pushed the glass deeper into his father’s chest, darkened orbs staring into his lifeless state. And, although he knew his father’s heart stopped beating, Jungkook wanted him to last longer, to feel the pain spread through his body until it was humanly unbearable. He wanted to abuse his power the way his father abused his mother. He wanted to get justice for Jieun.

Wrapping his tie around the cut on his hand, Jungkook pressed the button to your floor before resting his head on the elevator door. He didn’t know where else to go, or frankly, what else to do. There’s only so much that one could take in one night, yet, it felt like his whole life flashed by, unleashing a tide of old pain that evolved into new trauma. Maybe this was a bad idea, he thought to himself, zipping up his bomber jacket to cover up the blood stains on his shirt as the elevator door opened. Walking down the dimly lit corridor, his head felt heavy, vision slowly blurring out of focus until he heard your voice, furrowed gaze glancing up at a man in your doorway. 

“Anyways, thank you so … oh, Jungkook? What are you doing here?” you gasped, smile slowly fading after you noticed that his attention remained on your friend who awkwardly waved back at Jungkook’s burning glare. 

“Hate to interrupt,” Jungkoook hissed, tongue poking the side of his cheek as he bumped past the guy before abruptly closing the door in his face. 

“Koo?” you asked hushly, looking up at his welled-up eyes that flickered down to your lips as your hands rested on his chest.  

“Who was that, y/n?” he whispered breathlessly.

“That’s Mino, he’s my neighbour. My wifi started acting up, so I asked if he could help,” your words trailed off into silence, waiting for his reaction.

“Why didn’t you ask me?” 

“I called but you didn’t pick up, so I thought you were busy. I’m sorry …” your gaze slowly lowered, hands fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. 

“No, I’m sorry. I got caught up with some stuff,” Jungkook sighed, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand before pulling you into a hug, feeling the tension melt by your touch.

“Hey, what happened to your hand?” 

“Just a little cut, it doesn’t matter. Now, how about I take you for a little ride, mmhm?” he winked, placing a soft kiss on your forehead as your fingers intertwined. 

Securing your helmet, Jungkook kissed the mole on your ring finger before pulling your hands around his waist. Starting up the engine, he glanced over his shoulder with a sly grin as you flinched, startled by the sound of his motorcycle. 

“Do you trust me, y/n?” 

“Hypothetically,” you laughed nervously, tightening your hold around his waist as he drove out of your apartment complex. The time was reaching midnight but the bright hues of Seoul’s nightlife kept the momentum going. Feeling the wind in your hair, chills ran down your spine as his speed increased. And, with each gear shift, faces in passing cars became harder and harder to make out. 

“Jeon Jungkook, you’re insane!” you screamed, helpless cries muffled by the pounding of his heart. He was insane. A murderer. Or was it self-defence? Nonetheless, it didn’t matter, because his life, the way he knew it, was already slipping through his fingers. Consumed by the darkness of his past. And you? Well, you were the last speck of brightness that kept him sane. So, he held onto the moment, keeping you close because it felt right. In hindsight, that’s all he ever wanted. You, were all he ever wanted. 

“Let’s go?” Jungkook said softly, hand reaching for yours as you walked down the bridge near the Han River. The same bridge where you first met. On the night that you thought would be your last. To this day, you could never figure out how he managed to be in the right place at the right time, seconds before your body sunk deep into the dark water. He saved you, but now, he’s the one who’s dying. 

“Koo?” you whispered, looking up at his pale face. 

“Mmhm,” 

“Thank you,” you said, nibbling on your bottom lip to fight back the tears. 

“For what?” his worried gaze searched your fluttering eyes before stopping in his tracks. 

“For saving me,” you felt your breath hitch in your throat with each word. 

“Y/n …” Jungkook said, before tiny raindrops wet your skin. And, within seconds as the sudden lightning bolt struck the sky, it unleashed the wrath of a heavy pour. But, Jungkook didn’t seem to mind it, pulling you into his chest as his hold on your shivering body tightened. 

“Koo, it’s raining. We should go,” you whispered softly, burying your face into his jacket. But, he didn’t reply. Barely moved. 

“Koo?” you asked again before looking up. His eyes were closed, brows knitted with tension.

“Please, y/n … just a little longer, let me hold you for a little longer,” he breathed out, gently caressing your hair as tears rolled down his face. And, for a moment, it felt like time stopped. For a moment, all he could feel was the beating of your heart, a glimpse of a future he felt unworthy of. Deep down, he knew that your love for each other was fragile. As if he could foreshadow the end, the way your feelings would eventually succumb to the pain and exhaustion of trying to win against every shortcoming that’s been thrown at your shared path. 

So, as he laid you down onto the soft duvet of your bed, your glossy eyes sparkled under the moonlight. Reaching for his hand, you looked up at his hollow gaze. 

“Aren’t you going to lie down?” you asked. 

“I should go,” Jungkook replied, caressing your hand with his thumb before slowly letting it go. 

“Please don’t. I’m asking you,” you plead, lifting the duvet before clearing up his side of your bed. 

“Promise me you’ll still be here when I wake up?” your lips trembled, cuddling into his warm embrace as your hands intertwined. 

“Always,” he whispered, biting back the tears before placing a gentle kiss on your head. 

And, although he said exactly what you wanted to hear, you layed on his chest knowing that this time, something was different. His touch was cold, lifeless even. Something in him has switched and it killed you to wonder where it all went wrong. Like pieces of shattered glass, the two of you reflected each other's weaknesses, connected by the heartstrings of predisposed despair. 

Watching you sleep, Jungkook rested his head on yours, closing his eyes for a moment until his phone buzzed. Reaching for the nightstand, he scrolled through all the missed calls from his mother. Who stayed back in the house, sitting on the floor, knees to her chest, watching the lifeless body of her husband surrounded by a pool of blood. Stuck in a state of shock, she didn’t know what to feel. It could have easily been her who was bleeding out, with her life cut short by the hands of her abuser. But, yet, again, Jungkook managed to be at the right place and at the right time. But, at what cost? Killing his father as an act of self-defence still puts him on the radar, and sooner or later the cops would want answers. The problem is that, when one lie gets out, everything else will follow. The abuse, the rape, the suicide, and the murder. 

So, Jungkook knew he had to leave. Now. But he couldn’t bear leaving you without a reason. So, he had to lie to protect your peace. Betray your trust and see the spark in your eyes slowly vanish. Make you feel worthless, like you weren’t enough. Pull on the strings of your breaking heart and step on the wounds that would hurt the most. Make you hate him enough to let go.

“Tell me,” you cried out, resting your aching head on the cold wall of his room.  

“What?” Jungkook sneered, furrowed gaze glancing at the tear stains on your face. It hurt. Hurting you, hurt him. 

“Tell me this was all a lie,” you yelled, kneeling down before him as your trembling hands reached for his. 

“You know I can’t, y/n,” he whispered, fighting back the tears. 

“Do you regret it? Please, say that you regret it,” you cried into his lap as his hands resisted the urge to comfort you, to hold you in his arms and tell you that it was going to be okay. Because in hindsight, it never was. 

“Would it matter if I did?” 

“Bullshit. You’re lying. I know you are. God, don’t you think I at least deserve to know the truth?” your pupils dilated, knitted brows raising at the sight of his empty glare. It was hollow. As if there was nothing behind those dark eyes. 

“Fucking hell, y/n. Are you even listening? I hurt you, and you still stayed. When will you get the hint?” Jungkook scoffed, pushing your hands off of him before slamming his fist on the nightstand. 

“When you grow the balls to admit that you’re scared of loving someone beyond fucking them. What you really couldn’t hold it in your pants?” you felt your throat tighten, finding it hard to breathe, even though you knew you couldn’t ask for his help. Because the person that was standing in front of you was no longer the one you used to know. There was nothing left of Koo. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, y/n,” his voice broke down, glossy eyes looking back at your defeated self. 

“Whatever. I’m exhausted, Jungkook. Fights for us turned into fights with you. All I ever wanted was to be loved, and I truly thought that you out of all people would understand that,” you let out a deep sigh, wiping the tears off your face as quiet whimpers left your parted lips. 

“Y/n … where are you going? Please, don’t just leave,” he cried out, gulping down the pain of seeing how you looked at him. Like he was a stranger.  

“It’s okay, Koo. I finally got the hint,” she replied with a soft smile. 

“Y/n, if you walk out that door, we’ll never see each other again,” he sobbed with each step you took further away from him. 

“You know, that night, at the bridge, I was crying on your shoulder and you told me to live for you. But, I wish you would’ve just let me fall. Because, at least then, I knew for sure that the pain would only be temporary.” you glanced back for the last time, reminiscing all the memories that led up to this night, before closing the door behind you as your heart sank to your stomach.

“I still love you, I promise,” Jungkook’s whispers trailed off into a void. One that consumed his life ever since his sister died. And, one that will continue to do so, for nothing is as painful as love. In hindsight, it was all very clear, his broken soul knew who to love but not how to, always losing someone in sacrifice for another. While the cries of your bleeding heart knew how to love but never who, as you grew up alone, betrayed by the ones that were meant to be your everything.

Like a Hostage | Masterlist

✰ Pairing: boyfriend Jungkook x female reader 

✰ Synopsis: One feared committing, and the other feared not being loved. And, although it was clear that they had no future together, the universe always seemed to bring them together. Predisposed to a rocky relationship, they fall victim to a life of pure bliss, blind to the pretty lies of their mad love.

✰ Genre: lovers to enemies, cheating, toxic relationship, possessiveness, blackmail, dysfunctional family, angst, slow burn, mature content

⇢ Prologue: Live For Me - 1k

⇢ Like A Hostage - 4.5k

[68/547] — until we meet again, jungkook ♡

bonus:

Like a Hostage

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱

⇢ warning: explicit language, mentions of rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, drug use, alcohol use, and suicide. ⇢ w.c: 4.5k

Spending the rainy Friday at home, Jungkook browsed through the list of recently added movies on Netflix before clicking the one with the most viewer votes. And, as you rested your legs on his lap, the two of you shared a warm glance once his hands naturally began massaging your toes, careful with the bruise on your ankle. One that you comedically earned from your skiing accident, where you overestimated your skills or better the lack of them and dared to race your athlete-build boyfriend. Needless to say, despite giving you a headstart, you found yourself dumbfounded in his embrace after an innocent rabbit scare led to your crash into a nearby snow pile. 

“Does it still hurt?” he asked, palm gently hovering over the purple hues. 

“Not really. I’ve been using that cream you gave me,” you replied with a soft smile, drawing circles on his tattooed forearm. 

“Next time, let's verse in something that won’t leave you in a cast, mmhh?” Jungkook teased, placing a gentle peck on your hand before intertwining his fingers with yours. 

Diverting your attention back to the screen, your sleepy gaze suddenly widened as the camera panned closer to the female lead's naked body during a steamy shower scene. Flinching at the visuals you stare at the ceiling, awkwardly fumbling with the rings on your fingers before Jungkook notices your tension, quickly skipping over the intimate parts. 

“Y/n, is everything okay?” he asked quietly, glancing down at your flushed state. 

“Mmhm,” 

“Baby, what's on your mind? Tell me,” he leaned in closer, tucking a few stray hairs out of your face. 

“Nothing, it's stupid,” you managed to form somewhat of a reassuring smile before glancing back at his sly grin. 

See, you’ve always wanted to save yourself for marriage, and while the decision didn’t stem from religious beliefs or values it was significantly fueled by your desire to have control over your life. At least some parts of it. If it was up to you, in a perfect world where children were born into love, you wouldn’t be consumed by the dreadful shame of knowing that the bride’s side of the family would consist of only yourself. Since, once your parents left, so did the structure in your life as you tiptoed over the cracks in the weathering foundation, but now, the cards were in your hands. And, you were dedicated to the hope of blooming at your own pace and with the right person. However, to this day, somewhere deep in your subconscious, this tiny voice of doubt kept daunting your decision. Would it be fair for Jungkook if you starved him of your touch? How long would he be willing to withhold his lust until one day you were no longer worth it? 

“Oh, come on, don’t be shy. It’s natural. But, I guess now we know why this was the top pick. Horny bastards,” Jungkook chuckled, sneaking in a quick wink before resting his head on the couch. 

“Well, you must have thought about it, right?” your eyebrows furrowed, lifting your torso from the blanket cover. 

“About what?” 

“You know,” you murmured under your breath, feeling the flush in your cheeks. 

“Have I thought about sex with you?” Jungkook’s voice deepened, hooded gaze slowly observing every inch of your exposed body. 

“Shhh, why are you so loud?” you yelped, hushing his lips with your index finger until his hold on your hand tightened, and with one swoop you were exactly where he wanted. On his lap. Lips inches apart. 

“Y/n, I think about you all the time.” he grinned, tracing the bottom of your pouty lips as your breath hitched in your throat. “Not, in a freaky, call 911, stalker type of way, but…” he leaned in closer. 

“I think about the heart-shaped vein on your eyelid …” he whispered into a soft kiss on your lid. 

“I think about the moon tattoo behind your ear …” shivers went down your spine as his teeth gently grazed your skin, hands roaming under your tank top. 

“I think about the little mole on your ring finger, and the way your baby hairs curl up after you come out of the shower,” Jungkook's eyes searched your fluttering gaze, the back of his palm gently stroking your cheek as you unconsciously melt into his touch. 

“No, you know, that’s almost exactly what a stalker would notice,” you teased, tightening your hold on his hand as he tried to intertwine his fingers with yours. 

“Oh, sweetpea, if only you could read the thoughts in my head,” he sighed, resting his forehead on yours before pulling you closer onto his lap. “But, I need you more than I want you,” his words echoed in your ears, playing over and over again like a broken record. 

There’s a difference between a need and a want. You might want it to stop raining because the humidity has been frizzing up your hair, but you need water to survive. Like it or not, without it, you’d be dead in three days. Shrivelled up like a raisin in the sun. In the same way, although the sexual attraction between you and Jungkook was obvious to the naked eye, there was a fine line between your want and need for each other. He might not be the best at showing it, but behind all that ink and muscle, was a lost boy who’s spent his life running from his past, in search of something that would make him fight for the future. So, as far as he’s concerned, as long as you were breathing, his life served a purpose. One to protect, love, and care for you and the battle scars that were left behind. To him, you were the water that the human body feared losing. 

Eyes flickering down to your lips, Jungkook smiled into a teasing kiss as your hands rested on his chest, burning tension depriving you of oxygen. He was gentle, hooded gaze searching your eyes for hints of discomfort. But your orbs were dark, infused with the craving for his touch, the need to be close, skin to skin, as one singularity. 

“Koo?” you whispered, softly pulling on his silver chains. 

“Yes, y/n,” he grinned, biting down on his bottom lip.  

“Can I?” you asked with a hesitant plead, hands gently caressing the side of his neck. 

“I’m all yours, love,” he whispered in your ear, unbuttoning his black dress shirt before tracing your fingers down his sculpted chest. 

Admiring the lust in your boyfriend’s eyes, you felt the knot in your stomach tighten as your lips left a trail of needy kisses on his burning skin. Sucking on his soft spots, hushed moans escaped his parted lips as his grip on your thighs tightened. And, with a slow pace, your bodies fell in sync, grinding against the tempting friction. 

“Y/n?” Jungkook whispered, gently lifting you off his lap before laying you down on the sofa. 

“Mmhm,” 

“Can I?” his veiny hands trailed up your waistline, hooded gaze glancing up at the mess he created. But, despite giving him a nod of reassurance, he knew better than to go against your better judgment. Valuing your boundaries, he never wanted you to feel rushed, consumed by regret or questions of his intentions. So, he asked again, broad shoulders hovering over your form as his chains dangled inches away from your lips. 

“I need to hear you, baby,” 

“Yes, yes you can, Koo,” you giggled, pulling him into a long kiss, as his body layed on top of yours. 

Pinning your hands against the headrest, his warm touch embraced every crevice of your heaving chest, tossing your bra on the floor. And, as you laid under him, your eyes linked, fueling a kick of adrenaline spreading through your system. It was a bit of everything, all at once. The nerves, the pleasure and the aftermath. 

But, for now, your mind was solely consumed by the effect of his soft lips as they marked your collarbone in paints of purple possession, forcing you to dig deeper into his back. Enjoying the pain, echoes of Jungkook’s groans filled the dim room, admiring the way your back arched from the sensation as the friction between your sensitive heat and the evident bulge in his jeans became harder to ignore. 

“Baby, we have to stop,” he said with a furrowed gaze, tilting his head back as you watched the sweat roll down his heaving chest. 

“Did I do something wrong?” you quietly asked, covering yourself with his shirt. 

“If you do one more thing right, I won’t be able to pay for my actions,” Jungkook hushed your nerves with a sly wink before cuddling into your warm embrace, taking in the smell of the cherry-scented perfume that you wore on your first date. 

To him, it was so bluntly obvious that it was never about your body, your eyes or your sweet smile that made him fall in love. It was the way you made him feel at ease. The way you calmed the turbulence of chaos in his mind with a single touch, a single whisper of reassurance. When you were by his side, the world seemed a little less shitty. 

But, if it were really that simple, the story would’ve already ended. No? Yet, here we are. Anticipating the worst, not knowing the half of the abuse. Please don’t forget that love is bittersweet and when two souls are tethered by the heartstrings of their past, the fear of old pain could foreshadow the end.

“Mom?” Jungkook’s voice echoed through the dark corridor as he slowly pushed the unlocked door of his parent’s house. 

“Mom? It’s me, where are you?” he called out again, furrowed gaze scanning the surroundings for hints of life. Until whispers of his mother’s voice muffled from the haunting gloom leading up to the second floor. Attempting to turn on the lights, sparks of electricity burst through the living room chandelier, forcing Jungkook to resort to the flashlight on his phone. Careful with his steps, the creaking sound of the old wood accompanied his way up to his mother’s room where she sat on the edge of the bed, back facing the door. 

“Mom?”

“Jungkook? What are you doing here?” she asked quietly without even a glance, wiping the dried tear stains off her lifeless face. 

“I … I wanted to remind you that y/n and I will be leaving town for a week. I mentioned it over the phone but thought it would be best if I came in person as well,” he explained, worried gaze lowered to the bruises on her wrists. They looked fresh, like the abuse happened recently. And judging by the state of the room, the chances of it happening were high, as the floor remained witness to the littered bottles of antidepressants and liquor. 

“Mom, is everything alright? Did you and Dad fight again?” Jungkook asked, kneeling in front of his mother’s still form before she abruptly pulled her knees to her chest, scooching further away from his touch as her widened eyes stared back at his. 

“That stupid bitch. I never liked her, always hogged you like a slut.” she cried out in frustration, shaking her head in denial. “No, no, go ahead. Leave, for all I care. Let your father beat me to death but don’t come crying back when I’m finally gone.” the rage in her voice grew stronger with each word, bitting down the tears before her bloodshot eyes lowered again. 

She knew y/n was never the problem, but it was easier to be angry at people than to tell them that you’re hurting. So, that’s exactly what she learned to do, all she grew to know. She became angry at the world, at the guilty and the innocent. Leaving Jungkook as her weakness, the one person in her life that she wasn’t able to give up even if that meant losing herself to the abuse of her husband. But, the more time Jungkook spent with y/n, the less time he had to protect his mother. So, he became a buffer, neutralizing the flames that slowly burned down his family tree. However, in doing so, he developed a fear of commitment, unable to give someone his all when the desperate cries for help beating from his mother’s chest grew to consume him. 

“It’s me or her, son,” her voice trembled, hands reaching for his as Jungkook’s head rested on the edge of the bed. 

“But why? Why do I have to choose? Why can’t you let me have one thing for myself? Wasn’t Jieun’s death enough?” he cried out, choking on the tears that rolled down his face. 

“Don’t you dare bring up your sister,” 

“Why not? If it weren’t for your guys' constant fights she wouldn’t have jumped. Jieun-ie would still be here, with me,” Jungkook’s voice broke down, furrowed gaze hidden behind his trembling hands before he was brought back to that night. The night his world turned upside down. The night his little sister plumaged to her death, leaving behind a void in his heart that no one has been able to heal. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” his mother’s voice pierced through his dwelling, as her cold gaze glanced out the window with not one hint of remorse. 

“Then explain it to me,”

“I can’t. It’ll only make you hate you more,” 

“Try me,” Jungkook scoffed, resting his head on the window frame beside her. 

“She was raped. Your father raped Jieun … and when she tried to call the police … he threatened to shoot me. That night, when you went out to your friend’s house, two officers knocked on our door with suspicion of abuse. But, your father was a powerful man and a good liar at that, so, he demanded a warrant unless they wanted to settle everything in court. And, after they left we had a big fight, he wouldn’t stop, nothing could stop the rage in his eyes. I tried pleading with him, to let Jieun leave so she wouldn’t have to hear me scream because I was ashamed. But, he wouldn’t let that happen, he wanted to punish her for going against him. So, she heard everything and died because of the guilt.” his mother’s voice broke down into a whisper as she struggled to breathe, feeling the tightness in her throat. 

“Mom!” Jungkook pulled her behind him, as the door suddenly slammed open, revealing the daunting silhouette of his father. Who was, naturally, drunken out of his mind. The smell of alcohol travelling with his steps, as he inched closer to their still bodies. 

“Finally came back home, son?” he grinned, opening up his arms as a welcome back hug. 

“Don’t call me that.” Jungkook hissed, feeling his mother’s hands tighten their hold on his jacket as her panic kicked in. 

“What did she tell you?” the man growled, dropping the fake smile as his furrowed gaze pierced through her hideout. 

“Don’t you dare to come closer.” Jungkook threatened, slowly moving back before they hit a wall. 

“Or what?” his father sneered maniacally with a raised brow and a slight head tilt, plunging onto Jungkook with his fists in the air. Squeezing her eyes shut, the woman flinched behind her son’s broad shoulders as the sound of shattering glass suddenly echoed in her ear. Watching the blood run down his veiny hands, Jungkook pushed the glass deeper into his father’s chest, darkened orbs staring into his lifeless state. And, although he knew his father’s heart stopped beating, Jungkook wanted him to last longer, to feel the pain spread through his body until it was humanly unbearable. He wanted to abuse his power the way his father abused his mother. He wanted to get justice for Jieun.

Wrapping his tie around the cut on his hand, Jungkook pressed the button to your floor before resting his head on the elevator door. He didn’t know where else to go, or frankly, what else to do. There’s only so much that one could take in one night, yet, it felt like his whole life flashed by, unleashing a tide of old pain that evolved into new trauma. Maybe this was a bad idea, he thought to himself, zipping up his bomber jacket to cover up the blood stains on his shirt as the elevator door opened. Walking down the dimly lit corridor, his head felt heavy, vision slowly blurring out of focus until he heard your voice, furrowed gaze glancing up at a man in your doorway. 

“Anyways, thank you so … oh, Jungkook? What are you doing here?” you gasped, smile slowly fading after you noticed that his attention remained on your friend who awkwardly waved back at Jungkook’s burning glare. 

“Hate to interrupt,” Jungkoook hissed, tongue poking the side of his cheek as he bumped past the guy before abruptly closing the door in his face. 

“Koo?” you asked hushly, looking up at his welled-up eyes that flickered down to your lips as your hands rested on his chest.  

“Who was that, y/n?” he whispered breathlessly.

“That’s Mino, he’s my neighbour. My wifi started acting up, so I asked if he could help,” your words trailed off into silence, waiting for his reaction.

“Why didn’t you ask me?” 

“I called but you didn’t pick up, so I thought you were busy. I’m sorry …” your gaze slowly lowered, hands fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. 

“No, I’m sorry. I got caught up with some stuff,” Jungkook sighed, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand before pulling you into a hug, feeling the tension melt by your touch.

“Hey, what happened to your hand?” 

“Just a little cut, it doesn’t matter. Now, how about I take you for a little ride, mmhm?” he winked, placing a soft kiss on your forehead as your fingers intertwined. 

Securing your helmet, Jungkook kissed the mole on your ring finger before pulling your hands around his waist. Starting up the engine, he glanced over his shoulder with a sly grin as you flinched, startled by the sound of his motorcycle. 

“Do you trust me, y/n?” 

“Hypothetically,” you laughed nervously, tightening your hold around his waist as he drove out of your apartment complex. The time was reaching midnight but the bright hues of Seoul’s nightlife kept the momentum going. Feeling the wind in your hair, chills ran down your spine as his speed increased. And, with each gear shift, faces in passing cars became harder and harder to make out. 

“Jeon Jungkook, you’re insane!” you screamed, helpless cries muffled by the pounding of his heart. He was insane. A murderer. Or was it self-defence? Nonetheless, it didn’t matter, because his life, the way he knew it, was already slipping through his fingers. Consumed by the darkness of his past. And you? Well, you were the last speck of brightness that kept him sane. So, he held onto the moment, keeping you close because it felt right. In hindsight, that’s all he ever wanted. You, were all he ever wanted. 

“Let’s go?” Jungkook said softly, hand reaching for yours as you walked down the bridge near the Han River. The same bridge where you first met. On the night that you thought would be your last. To this day, you could never figure out how he managed to be in the right place at the right time, seconds before your body sunk deep into the dark water. He saved you, but now, he’s the one who’s dying. 

“Koo?” you whispered, looking up at his pale face. 

“Mmhm,” 

“Thank you,” you said, nibbling on your bottom lip to fight back the tears. 

“For what?” his worried gaze searched your fluttering eyes before stopping in his tracks. 

“For saving me,” you felt your breath hitch in your throat with each word. 

“Y/n …” Jungkook said, before tiny raindrops wet your skin. And, within seconds as the sudden lightning bolt struck the sky, it unleashed the wrath of a heavy pour. But, Jungkook didn’t seem to mind it, pulling you into his chest as his hold on your shivering body tightened. 

“Koo, it’s raining. We should go,” you whispered softly, burying your face into his jacket. But, he didn’t reply. Barely moved. 

“Koo?” you asked again before looking up. His eyes were closed, brows knitted with tension.

“Please, y/n … just a little longer, let me hold you for a little longer,” he breathed out, gently caressing your hair as tears rolled down his face. And, for a moment, it felt like time stopped. For a moment, all he could feel was the beating of your heart, a glimpse of a future he felt unworthy of. Deep down, he knew that your love for each other was fragile. As if he could foreshadow the end, the way your feelings would eventually succumb to the pain and exhaustion of trying to win against every shortcoming that’s been thrown at your shared path. 

So, as he laid you down onto the soft duvet of your bed, your glossy eyes sparkled under the moonlight. Reaching for his hand, you looked up at his hollow gaze. 

“Aren’t you going to lie down?” you asked. 

“I should go,” Jungkook replied, caressing your hand with his thumb before slowly letting it go. 

“Please don’t. I’m asking you,” you plead, lifting the duvet before clearing up his side of your bed. 

“Promise me you’ll still be here when I wake up?” your lips trembled, cuddling into his warm embrace as your hands intertwined. 

“Always,” he whispered, biting back the tears before placing a gentle kiss on your head. 

And, although he said exactly what you wanted to hear, you layed on his chest knowing that this time, something was different. His touch was cold, lifeless even. Something in him has switched and it killed you to wonder where it all went wrong. Like pieces of shattered glass, the two of you reflected each other's weaknesses, connected by the heartstrings of predisposed despair. 

Watching you sleep, Jungkook rested his head on yours, closing his eyes for a moment until his phone buzzed. Reaching for the nightstand, he scrolled through all the missed calls from his mother. Who stayed back in the house, sitting on the floor, knees to her chest, watching the lifeless body of her husband surrounded by a pool of blood. Stuck in a state of shock, she didn’t know what to feel. It could have easily been her who was bleeding out, with her life cut short by the hands of her abuser. But, yet, again, Jungkook managed to be at the right place and at the right time. But, at what cost? Killing his father as an act of self-defence still puts him on the radar, and sooner or later the cops would want answers. The problem is that, when one lie gets out, everything else will follow. The abuse, the rape, the suicide, and the murder. 

So, Jungkook knew he had to leave. Now. But he couldn’t bear leaving you without a reason. So, he had to lie to protect your peace. Betray your trust and see the spark in your eyes slowly vanish. Make you feel worthless, like you weren’t enough. Pull on the strings of your breaking heart and step on the wounds that would hurt the most. Make you hate him enough to let go.

“Tell me,” you cried out, resting your aching head on the cold wall of his room.  

“What?” Jungkook sneered, furrowed gaze glancing at the tear stains on your face. It hurt. Hurting you, hurt him. 

“Tell me this was all a lie,” you yelled, kneeling down before him as your trembling hands reached for his. 

“You know I can’t, y/n,” he whispered, fighting back the tears. 

“Do you regret it? Please, say that you regret it,” you cried into his lap as his hands resisted the urge to comfort you, to hold you in his arms and tell you that it was going to be okay. Because in hindsight, it never was. 

“Would it matter if I did?” 

“Bullshit. You’re lying. I know you are. God, don’t you think I at least deserve to know the truth?” your pupils dilated, knitted brows raising at the sight of his empty glare. It was hollow. As if there was nothing behind those dark eyes. 

“Fucking hell, y/n. Are you even listening? I hurt you, and you still stayed. When will you get the hint?” Jungkook scoffed, pushing your hands off of him before slamming his fist on the nightstand. 

“When you grow the balls to admit that you’re scared of loving someone beyond fucking them. What you really couldn’t hold it in your pants?” you felt your throat tighten, finding it hard to breathe, even though you knew you couldn’t ask for his help. Because the person that was standing in front of you was no longer the one you used to know. There was nothing left of Koo. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, y/n,” his voice broke down, glossy eyes looking back at your defeated self. 

“Whatever. I’m exhausted, Jungkook. Fights for us turned into fights with you. All I ever wanted was to be loved, and I truly thought that you out of all people would understand that,” you let out a deep sigh, wiping the tears off your face as quiet whimpers left your parted lips. 

“Y/n … where are you going? Please, don’t just leave,” he cried out, gulping down the pain of seeing how you looked at him. Like he was a stranger.  

“It’s okay, Koo. I finally got the hint,” she replied with a soft smile. 

“Y/n, if you walk out that door, we’ll never see each other again,” he sobbed with each step you took further away from him. 

“You know, that night, at the bridge, I was crying on your shoulder and you told me to live for you. But, I wish you would’ve just let me fall. Because, at least then, I knew for sure that the pain would only be temporary.” you glanced back for the last time, reminiscing all the memories that led up to this night, before closing the door behind you as your heart sank to your stomach.

“I still love you, I promise,” Jungkook’s whispers trailed off into a void. One that consumed his life ever since his sister died. And, one that will continue to do so, for nothing is as painful as love. In hindsight, it was all very clear, his broken soul knew who to love but not how to, always losing someone in sacrifice for another. While the cries of your bleeding heart knew how to love but never who, as you grew up alone, betrayed by the ones that were meant to be your everything.