I Don't Know If It's An Autism But When I Was A Kid Or Even Now I Smile When Looking At People, Being

I don't know if it's an autism but when I was a kid or even now I smile when looking at people, being around them or talking to them.

Sometimes it didn't happen but most often it did and I'd turn my back when passing by someone because I couldn't stop myself from smiling and laughing even though I didn't want to.

To this day I don't like looking at people because if that, and when I'm mad I can't express my thoughts correctly and end up smiling and laughing which bugs me because I don't want to smile and laugh.

This isn't something I've experienced, but it could be a trigger effect...your brain associates smiling with laughing... So any smiles can trigger laughter. But I can't say for certain.

Loved seeing that, it was a nice touch, and it was kinda adorable.🥰 Now I kinda want to see Hunter (and perhaps Tech, too) with wet hair.

Okay here’s where I’m going to be an animation geek because one thing that absolutely floored me in episode 15 with appreciation is that they actually had Omega’s hair become floppy and looking soaking wet-

It’s such a cool detail that they didn’t have to do, but they actually put in that effort. Which is either they had something more complex going on with how her hair is rigged on her model, or they made a whole other model just for Omega with wet hair for just this short time (unless we see it more next episode)

Tech's behavior throughout this whole story is CHEF'S 👏 FUCKING 👏 KISS! 👏💋 Sympathized and agonized thought the whole thing. Well done!

Burning House

The sound of screams are easier than just my thoughts with no one here. But it’s too late, but it’s too late

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Sobbing. That's what filled Havoc when the jump was complete. Omega fell to the ground and started crying. Wrecker picked her up and she continued to wail, even as he tried to calm her down. "We'll get him back, we'll get him back-" Wrecker whispered, rocking her back and forth.

In the cockpit, Echo took off his helmet, biting his cheek as he thought what they were going to have to do. Tech sat there, unable to move as he listened to Omega cry, his skin begun to crawl. "Hunter use to cry a lot..." Tech muttered. His voice was barely above a whisper, "Omega sounds like him-" Echo looked over, "He'd cry, he never stopped crying, they'd take him away, put him in a sensory deprivation tank, then when he came back, he'd cry even more-" Tech rambled. But his voice was dull, as if it wasn't even his voice at all.

"-We need to go back! Wrecker! We need Hunter!" I need Hunter! Omega screamed, hitting Wrecker's chest. Who, of course, took all the pain, took every hit, and made not a single reaction. He only continued to hold her and love her.

"We'll get him back-" was all Wrecker could say, he wished she'd stop crying. Hunter, you need to stop crying, it'll make it worse.

"Get him to stop crying, please-" Tech held himself tightly as he begun to shut down. He needed Hunter to stop crying.

"Omega, Omega's crying." Echo said, Tech's head jolted to look at Echo, pure shock on his face. Tech opened up his mouth to speak but all that came out was a squeak as his eyes started to tear up. He never made mistakes like that, he never made mistakes like this. But this, was the second time it happened.

Echo's eyes went wide, seeing Tech's eyes fall apart and in a second, Tech took off his helmet and Echo couldn't help to notice the way his hands shook, Tech's hands never shook. "Omega," Tech spoke, telling himself not to make that mistake again. He tried to hold his helmet, but his hands would start shaking, his bones started to ache, he had to move them, he couldn't keep still. Tech shook his head, discomfort growing until, at last, he threw his helmet on the ground, slamming it on the ground.

"Tech!" Echo jumped up, but Tech, all his moving, and shaking, he'd stopped, he'd forced himself. Inside, Tech was forcing himself not to move, not to blink, not the breath. "Tech." Echo went to his brother as Wrecker came in to see what happened, Omega still crying. Echo gave Wrecker a blank stare, "Tech we're gonna get him back, we just gotta make a plan-"

"I'm aware that we'll get him back!" Tech hissed, standing up, making his brothers jump and Omega turned to look. She stopped crying. "I'm aware of what needs to happen but this never should have happened! We should never have been placed in such a situation where we are missing two of our brothers!" He screamed as he fumed, crying as he did, unable to control everything inside that had just broken loose. They all stared at him. He hated to be stared at.

He looked at them as they looked at him, he tried to pull himself back together, holding himself as if that would shove everything back inside. But he had simply shattered. He couldn't look at them and he didn't want to be in his body. He wanted to disappear, to hide away, he hated this attention. He had been frozen but he couldn't help his shaking. Scared of what they'd say, scared of what they'd think. He was completely terrified, he was only terrified. "I," He looked at them, eyes wide, filled with that terror that crept up his body, whispering in his ear, 'You left them, Crosshair and Hunter, they're going to hate you-' it whispered in Tech's ear. "He ordered me to leave him-"

"He ordered all of us to," Echo spoke softly and slowly. He didn't see past the terrified look on Tech's face, "It isn't your fault." We're not gonna blame you if we never get him back. We're going to blame ourselves.

"No, no he didn't. He said my name, he ordered me." Tech corrected Echo, "It's going to be my fault, just like it would have been my fault if Wrecker hadn't woken up, how it's my fault we keep leaving Crosshair-

"Tech-"

"Don't inturrupt me!" Tech yelled, "I hate it when you do that!" He knew he was being irrational, he'd talk himself down soon enough. So right now, he didn't care. Hunter was gone and for all the logic in the universe, Tech felt it was his fault. It was his fault. He couldn't be here any longer. He needed to hide from his shame brought upon by the wide-eyed look of his brothers and sister. He looked down, cursing himself, all he could do was leave the room. He needed to leave.

As he left, there was a stillness that flowed through them all, defeat. Their brother, they just abandoned, but this brother, the absence of this brother was as if they had one lung instead of two, possible to live, but much too hard and failure to adapt is always possible. Tech, was failing. "Sorry.." He mumbled as he left. He had nothing else to say. Echo and Wrecker just watched, they did not blame him for being unable to exist without Hunter. This was different. Losing Hunter was different. They didn't have a replacement for Hunter.

"Tech!" Omega cried out, unable to do anything else. It was the only thing she could do, yell. Which made Tech freeze. He turned his head slightly, waiting for Omega to speak, "Don't leave us too-" She begged through tears. Tech lingered there in the doorway, thoughts racing, he then looked forward, away from his brothers, away from Omega, and all she could do was beg, "Please," She whimpered,

"Please don't leave me."

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Remove the stereotype of knowing everything about the so called special interest, I have never had one, but I'm curious why is it called like that, when it isn't for Neurotypicals?

So the list you posted, it just sounds like something a person likes, but why is that it is called special interest?

Because if a Neurotypical would say, if they had those interest(s) that are on that list, or more. Its just...likes. hobbies even. But when a Neurodivergent has any of that, its called a 'special interest' why is that? It just occured to me too this question, I find it strange. That it has a name like that for Neurodivergent but not for the Neurotypicals.

I also feel like, if you utter you like something, then people just assume straight off the bat that it is a 'special interest' when it may not be.

Its the same with the Autistic Meltdown, or that other thang I forgot what the name of it is. Why is it called like that? Because again, if a Naueotypical has, like a big outburst of anger and they get real mad even throwing stuff, whatever someone does, it's not called specifically a meltdown, or that other thing i forgot the name of it. I'm genuinely wondering btw, not trolling.

This is a good question, and completely understandable.

Firstly, a special interest is specific to autism. My post lists a variety of ways that they can manifest, but obviously it's not the only ways.

A special interest is different to a hobby in the way that an autistic engages with it. A hobby for a neurotypical is something they know all about and do to pass the time. They may even take breaks from it.

A special interest for an autistic may not even have a physical component, we have anxiety about not interacting with it, and it's not to just pass the time. It can feel like a core part of us.

Which is why if a special interest fades, we can be left in a state of deep loss. It's like losing a loved one. It can cause grief.

Autistics can also just have hobbies.

Now, an autistic meltdown or shutdown is once again specific to us because it's linked to how we engage in the world. Specifically, sensory input.

A neurotypical can have a "meltdown" after a bad week at work, a break up, plus their car won't start and they'll scream and need a day off. It may even lead to a breakdown. They are serious, and they need self-care. But it's a long build up of stressors.

An autistic meltdown is a painful experience of no longer being able to endure sensory input. We need to escape, and harmful stims, screaming, crying etc are our only coping skills we have left in our arsenal. There is no emotion behind it, no end goal, except to make the pain stop.

i feel like the infantilisation of autistic people in the eyes of science and psychology really stunts them when it comes to talking about some of the issues that come from being autistic in a world built for nt people. like i dont think ive ever seen substance abuse rates discussed wrt autistics because thats an “adult problem” and the public at large has an image of autistic adults as overgrown kids, despite the fact that almost every other autistic adult ive met has had a history of substance abuse issues at least partly in response to the stress of existing in the world as an autistic person. like if youre constantly beset on all sides by stress and sensory overload of course youre going to gravitate towards drugs and alcohol and things that smooth over those sharp edges, make socialising easier, etc…