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Yijiangchunshui1203 - Untitled


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More Posts from Yijiangchunshui1203

When your makeup-artist husband helps you with your evil eyeshadow
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Artist: blackwatervial
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â â âž It seems to be today. The battle at the East Sea ten years ago was on this day. I didn't expect after fighting to the death ten years ago, ten years later, we'd be drinking together like this in our wedding room. â˝ â â
Today, Iâm crying about Li Xiangyiâs childhood, the way it taught him that losing meant he didnât deserve to exist, and how that governed his response to the East Sea battle ten years earlier and to all the revelations at the end of the show.
Li Xiangyi obviously loves his shifu and shiniang, and they definitely loved him, too, given that his shifu wanted him to focus more on enjoying life and less on changing the world and obtaining victories, and given that his shifu sacrificed himself to try to save Xiangyi and his shiniang wanted to. So, his childhood with them definitely had more love, support, stability, and learning opportunities than his earlier life, which features such traumas as seeing his mom murdered in front of him, living on the streets starting at age 4, watching his older brother die in front of him and then forgetting his older brother existed, probably from traumatic amnesia/dissociation. That being said, though, his shiniang and shifu made some truly horrific decisions that caused some epic problems for both Li Xiangyi and Shan Gudao! Itâs not just that they withheld incredibly important knowledge about Xiangyiâs early life and background from him (who his parents were, why they were murdered, that he had an older brother, the secret of his heritage)--although wow, that is a terrible way to raise a traumatized childâitâs also that they fostered competition instead of caring, both with the children they raised and between each other. Iâm thinking in particular of the fact that, once shiniang and shifu separated, they each took a child (based on drawing lots) and had Xiangyi and Shan Gudao fight once a month to determine not just which kid was the better martial artist, but which adult was a better teacher, and, by extension, parent and person!Â
That last thing is just so infuriating and, frankly, abusive: it makes each kid think competition and winning is how affection is earned, and that any sort of mistake or loss or failure is the absolute end of the world, because youâre never just letting yourself down or not reaching your potential: you are proving that you donât deserve their care and affection. It also taught Xiangyi that he was responsible for their caregiverâs happiness and reputation, and once you have that kind of overdeveloped sense of responsibility as a child, you carry it through into every aspect of your life, because you donât know any other way of being. No wonder Xiangyi thought he carried the world on his shoulders: growing up, the mountain home/training center was his worldâsince it seems like he didnât have interactions with anyone else until he left the mountain at age 15âso he had been carrying that belief for at least a decade without having seen any other models of ways to exist.Â
Also, we know Xiangyi thinks he owes his shiniang and shifu for having brought him into their family: having that added sense of debt makes everything so much worse, because he essentially thinks he owes his entire existence to them. It seems like Xiangyi felt like he had to win the competitions to prove he deserved to be there, but also to prove he deserved to exist.Â
For his early life, he only felt the positive side of this expectation, because he never lost, since his martial arts skills were so much stronger than Shan Gudaoâs. He was unintentionally primed to assume the outcome was a foregone conclusion, because he didnât have any real challengers. This also hammered home the idea that he was right about things, that he should call the shots, and that collaboration wasnât really relevant to his life, since it wasnât as if his shifu taught Xiangyi and Shan Gudao how to fight side by side to defeat other opponents. Losing seemed like something that happened to other people (namely, Shan Gudao), and given the emphasis his shifu and shiniang placed on the competitions, I imagine winning time after time was more than just an adrenaline rush; it was positive reinforcement that he deserved the good things that had come his way, had repaid the debt he owed his shiniang and shifu, and would continue to earn love, respect, a family, a home, and a right to exist.
But when he lost? When he had never had a model for what losing safely feels like? (When the only times he lost were when he lost deliberately to try to cheer up Shan Gudao, but was berated for it, and told it was shameful and wrong to throw a fight for any reason, so losing becomes even more associated with shame?) When losing wasnât a way to learn, but a sign that he might lose his love, his family, his home? What happens when the scaffolding upholding his right to existâhis ability to winâcomes crashing down?
Suicidal ideation. Because he lost not only the battle with Di Feisheng, but also his shixiong, his shixiongâs body, his fiancee, the lives of his men, his reputation, his new home (the Sigu sect), and being able-bodied. In short, he lost everything part of him always feared heâd lose and then some. So why would he think he still has a right to exist, after that? How could he believe someone telling him it wasnât his fault, when all he has ever known is that the responsibility for everyone he cares for lies with him?Â
(I feel like itâs really telling that he didnât go back to his shiniangâs or shifuâs home after everything went to hell; he said it was because he had been unfilial and couldnât bear to go back after his shifu died, but it also seems like, given that he had lost everything else, he felt like he didnât deserve the comfort, family, and home it represented, so staying away is his punishment.)
Given all this, it makes total sense that Li Lianhua wants so desperately to think of Li Xiangyi as dead: he canât actually reconcile being alive and having failed. So he tries to create a new persona that doesnât want to be the best in the jianghu or thrive on praise and responsibility, while he tries to correct what he thinks of as his mistakes, before he dies of Bicha poisoning.Â
He tries to live the life his shifu wanted for him, where he enjoys pleasures like wine, food, relaxation, and growing things instead of focusing on making a name for himself or winning, and he tries to stay away from people, attachments, and love, because you canât lose them again if you donât have them to begin with.
But of course, saying someone is a different person doesnât make it so. He still wants to be the bestâthe best physician, the best at scheming, the best at detective workâbecause he still doesnât actually know how to be any other way. So he still has the same problems as Li Xiangyi: he still withholds information and commands more than collaborates (itâs frankly amazing he works as well with Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as he does), still has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility (he believes he has to be the one to save those he cares about and stop everyone else, whether Shan Gudao or the emperor), and at the end, is still suicidal (because now he thinks heâs responsible for the death of his shifu, for not seeing Shan Gudaoâs plot, and probably in some warped way for the Nanyin situation once he learns the truth of his heritage, because the man has never met a situation he canât take the blame for).Â
It doesnât surprise me at all that Li Lianhua doesnât fully get how much he means to Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing at the end, or that he thinks they just want their version of Li Xiangyi: he canât imagine being loved and still having made a mistake.
The women in Mysterious Lotus Casebook
Normally I feel like I have to turn off my feminism brain for some of these shows, but I was beyond pleasantly surprised at how deftly the main female characters in MLC were handled...
Qiao Wanmian: The perfect set-up for a female character only brought in to serve the main male character's emotional arc (usually by getting fridged), but she... gets her shit together, takes over the sect, and becomes a boss ass bitch?? SLAY. She respects both Li Lianhua and herself enough to recognize it's never going to happen between them and she needs to live her life on her terms. She also realizes Ye Baiyi Xiao Zijin is a piece of trash and she deserves better. -1 for excessive teary pining for Li Xiangyi, though tbh I can relate, because I too will be obsessively and excessively crying over Li Lianhua for 10+ years. Embarassing for both of us. Still, 14/10 for a self-respecting lady
Master He: THE mom of all time. Teases Fang Duobing for his obessesion with his boyfriend Li Lianhua. Pulls the "I'm not your biological mom but I raised you, bitch" shit and it works. Steps in, fists raised, whenever her son needs help in a fight. Loves torture devices. Meanwhile, you keep forgetting if Fang Duobing's dad is dead or if he's just on the couch playing duolingo like the dad in Barbie. But it's fine because mom carries the whole fam + family business anyway. 16/10 milf
The princess: Seemed more pissed than heartbroken that Fang Duobing ran away from their marriage, which neatly avoids the "spurned woman" trope. Is so freaking cute I wanna squish her cheeks. Acts like a realistic pouty teen but also wields her princess power like it's nobody's business. Understands Fang Duobing's desires at the end and respects them both enough to let him follow his heart. 15/10 would adopt
Jiao Liqiao: Batshit psycho. I love her. Unhinged and horny on main. Infinity/10
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Do you ever think about how unbelievably fucked up insane it is that they had Li Lianhua wear a dead womanâs wedding dress and then dressed Di Feisheng up as the groom for a dead woman in a separate episode and THEN put them in a bridal chamber where the two of them drank the celebratory wine for newlyweds together. The next morning Jiao Liqiao said to him âNow you have a choice to make: Be with me and live, or be with him in deathâ He already made his choice. He made it twenty episodes ago where he carved a dead manâs name into his palm. Every single person who had ever been in that cursed dress ended up dying in a body of water and he did. He was sold to be a groom for someone already rotting in a coffin and Li Lianhua took him home. And do you ever think about the fact that everything is literally canon. Whoever wrote this was out of their mind and then actual human beings acted it out on camera and another separate group of people put it on our real life tv screens. Itâs canon and thatâs the worst fucking part. Di Feisheng really did marry a dead man