Your dumb as a rock, sick as shit, hot as fuck, hillbilly ass punk highschool dropout with nothing interesting about them besides shaking their cane at the moon and taking pictures of their cat. Piss fast, shit hard 🤘🔥🔥
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I Already Posted About My Cats Shenanigans Earlier, But I Guess She's Decided Tonight Is A Good Time
I already posted about my cats shenanigans earlier, but I guess she's decided tonight is a good time for chaos:
So I was taking a shower and, because she's clingy, I bring her with me so I don't have to get out to open the door. Well, I look up to see her tossing a stink bug into the tub. So funny thing— I am deathly scared of bugs. My cat loves bugs.
Because I'm nearly fucking blind, I spend half a minute staring at it, trying to figure out what it is but not wanting to get too close to it. It's not moving, so if it's a dead bug who cares. Because it IS dead, right? ...Right? Well here's another thing: my cat is really bad at killing bugs. She loves them, as in she loves to torture them. Horrible, I know.
So this stink bug suddenly jumps on my leg and I scream and flail. Meanwhile my cat is sitting on the little bath mat screaming with me because why the fuck not I guess. I scream for my mom, she comes busting in half awake thinking something is tragically wrong, and I'm frantically pointing at the stinkbug I shook off and partially waterboarded. It would almost be acceptable, IF it were actually a stink bug. But. I can't see for shit.
She picks it up, looks at it, looks at me, and says it's a fly. A fat fucking fly. My cat is very proud of herself. I am something akin to a drowned chihuahua.
TLDR: My cat has lost shower privileges
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yikes-ajax liked this · 1 year ago
More Posts from Yikes-ajax
Im so tired so bear witness to the horrible crimes I have committed at work
*jazz hands*
I so badly wish I could catch my cat running and meowing down the hall at the same time on camera. You can hear each step in her voice.
I had taken her collar off to let the skin there breathe tonight, so when she started playing with it, I let her scamper off with it in her mouth. I think she realized that she was no longer wearing her collar, and in fact packing it around, because hardly a minute later she came running back to give it to me, sounding genuinely distressed to the point I thought something scared her. She just wanted the collar back on :P
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