I Just Dont Want Them To Touch Me :( - Tumblr Posts

I already posted about my cats shenanigans earlier, but I guess she's decided tonight is a good time for chaos:

So I was taking a shower and, because she's clingy, I bring her with me so I don't have to get out to open the door. Well, I look up to see her tossing a stink bug into the tub. So funny thing— I am deathly scared of bugs. My cat loves bugs.

Because I'm nearly fucking blind, I spend half a minute staring at it, trying to figure out what it is but not wanting to get too close to it. It's not moving, so if it's a dead bug who cares. Because it IS dead, right? ...Right? Well here's another thing: my cat is really bad at killing bugs. She loves them, as in she loves to torture them. Horrible, I know.

So this stink bug suddenly jumps on my leg and I scream and flail. Meanwhile my cat is sitting on the little bath mat screaming with me because why the fuck not I guess. I scream for my mom, she comes busting in half awake thinking something is tragically wrong, and I'm frantically pointing at the stinkbug I shook off and partially waterboarded. It would almost be acceptable, IF it were actually a stink bug. But. I can't see for shit.

She picks it up, looks at it, looks at me, and says it's a fly. A fat fucking fly. My cat is very proud of herself. I am something akin to a drowned chihuahua.

TLDR: My cat has lost shower privileges