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"You said normal girls were boring, but when I told you about my Fyodor obsession you were gone by the morning 🙄"

…..

Absolutely pains me how nobody has given Dazai a reality check yet. I'm talking a real shake down. Cutting remarks about his insufferable behavior. Calling out his sadistic streak and hypocritical choices. Fuck, I need that so badly.

Beast Akutagawa would deliver, I just know it 😭

It’s so funny when people draw aku smoking like guys, please, he’s literally dying

Ok but the implication that Fyodor inherits the personality traits of the people who kill him is extremely messed up when you think about it. And considering how old he is it's very likely his original personality has been completely taken over by this point, honestly I wouldn't be surprised if Fyodor doesn't actually have a grand master plan but is instead working with a hodgepodge of half baked ideas culminated by his past vessels over the centuries.

Especially when you consider that these new desirers seem to effect him strongly, with him not giving two shits about Aya until he took over Bram and now suddenly he's yandere levels obsessed with her.

Here me out

The fact that part of a person's like will or feelings if its super strong will stay with fyodor when he takes over gave me a thought

What if fyodors original goal was never rid the whole world of abilities? What if it was just to get rid of his own ability? Like if when his ability activated for the first time after being killed because of someone trying to rob him or something in ye olden days, he hated his own ability. Like it happened, he didnt know what happened, and he went back to his house, and his family just looked at him terrified. Fyodor was still fyodor, but not quite the fyodor they knew. What if originally he saw and knew how precious abilities were to others, and thought that his was the only one was the one that had to be destroyed, because it defied the very nature of life and ruined meaning for trying so hard to live well? He tried his hardest to let himself just die normally, but no matter what, he was murdered, often times in revenge. As time went on, he kept getting killed by corrupt or insane people, their intense hatred of the world around them, no doubt some had an intense hatred for abilities too, and that stuck with fyodor. Every time it got stronger, to the point where it warped his own wishes and perception of life. That's when it went from his ability to all abilities.

your honor, did you consider that my client was in a silly goofy mood? that he’s liiiiterally bbg ??🥺👉👈

The Great War in bsd amalgamates WW1 and WW2 but is temporally WW1. For every argument I've seen hyperfocus on the references to WW2, I haven't seen any touch on the references to WW1 — such as (but not limited to) the implied existence of either ongoing or only recently suspended Port Treaties; the introduction of novel warfare and post-WW1 rush towards nuclear research; the aberrations such as the telegraph rack in the Agency office and the slightly-off United Nations logo and the United Nations existing at all without an apparent preceding League of Nations; the existence of an entirely fictional nation state, the Republic of Nalis, the youth of which is reminiscent of the crop of republics created from the dissolution of the Russian, German, Austro-Hungarian, and Ottoman Empires after WW1 (but which of course wouldn't be familiar to us since Japan, France, Germany, and England factionalized in bsd's Great War very differently than in our own, resulting in different terms within bsd's Treaty of Versailles analog).

This isn't to say that there aren't many references to WW2, such as the presence of foreign military police in Japan who wear uniforms resembling those of the US military police that occupied post-WW2 Japan. But, I've noticed that the WW1 references are rarely if at all recognized, even after Fukuchi described the specter of a temporal WW2, leading to lots of concluding that the Great War is WW2 rather than WW1 when it's neither and it's both.

I must seem a horrible character to you, but the fact is that I want to die so badly I can’t stand it. Ever since I was born I have been thinking of nothing but dying. It would be better for everyone concerned if I were dead, that’s certain. And yet I can’t seem to die. There’s something strange and frightening, like God, which won’t let me die.

Dazai Osamu, “Villon’s Wife”

After spending a year stalking Ueda I can confidently say Ryan Reynolds doesn’t have shit on Ueda. Ueda is perfect. Ueda is all we need. Ueda is god.

Still no akutagawa in his cunty knight cosplay this chapter 😕

Chuuya is us every chapter fr

We do know actually, that Dazais body is canonly covered in scars and injuries, that is something that has been confirmed in the dark era light novel.

Why Dazai wears bandages could have multiple reasons.

He could either cover these scars because he doesn't want anyone to to see his injuries and take pity on him or feel bad for him, and possibly ask intrusive questions, as I think it would make him feel very uncomfortable. Like, jovial, lighthearted dazai works so hard to keep that fassade up, I just know he hates it if people pitied him..

I also believe that Dazai has shown to be very uncomfortable when it comes to other people getting too much into his privacy or his personal life, he tends to be a very closed off person who can't deal with others intruding the depths of his emotions, and I also think he doesn't really know how to respond to these things- that could be another reason Dazai uses bandages, they provide him with some closure.

(Notice how every time somebody asks him why he wears bandages he makes up some grand funny reason that's so obviously fake that it catches people off guard, and completely distracts them from the question. see in the first ever omake.)

Since a lot of injuries and scars seem to come from his days in the mafia, he might also want to cover them up as to not be reminded of his days filled with darkness or to potentially have to answer questions about how he got those scars (in the mafia.)

I think all of these reason are quite in character ways for dazai to act, and at the end of the day I guess, we can only theorize lol.

So does Dazai actually have a bunch of scars (self inflicted and other) under his bandages or is that just something we as a fandom collectively made up and agreed on like a mutual headcanon?

I mean I see where that would come from it makes sense to the point where I have 100% accepted that as canon (and I think literally anybody else too) I just wonder if there is concrete evidence that’s he has scars (I haven’t read all of the manga yet) or has it been confirmed?

WORST BEHAVIOR . . . dazai gets turned on watching you fight and just can’t help himself.

ft. pm!dazai + f!reader, pm!reader, possessive behavior, physical fighting, dazai is a little pervy, one use of ‘good girl’, semi-public & unprotected sex, choking (m!receiving), 2.5k w.c…mdni !!

p.s.! ⊹ ࣪ ˖ i know i’ve been promising this one for a while :< thank you for being patient with me !!

dazai already knows you indulge him; you let him get away with more than anyone else ever would. even outside of work, when he’s stripped of the authority that comes from being the youngest port mafia executive, the unspoken next in line for the throne of yokohama’s underworld, you always give into his whines of five more minutes or just one more kiss, i swear.

if you asked him, it was your own fault that he liked you so much; you were addicting. if the port mafia was a black hole where all light escaped, you were a twinkling star, falling from the sky right into dazai’s blood-soaked hands, and he loves you more than he ever thought he could. you weren’t quite an executive yet, but you were good at what you didー fighting.

there were only a few things in his meaningless life that made him less than bored: drinking with odasaku after work, harassing chuuya to tears, and watching you train, or better yet, getting to see you on a mission. his favorite part was that you always looked so, so hot while you were doing it.

he tries to act surprised when you’re both sent to take care of some low-level group, threatening to leak information that they definitely didn’t have. he didn’t really have to come with you on this assignment, it was below his level as an executive, after all, but he went through all of the trouble of leaking the address to one of the mafia’s “hideouts”, ensuring they’d show up at the dingy warehouse. it looms before the two of you, weathered from the salty air of the port, glass windows splintered and broken.

his coat flutters behind him with every giddy step, happily following after you and your little black skirt; maybe if he was lucky enough, he’d get a peek beneath it.

“are you sure you don’t have somewhere else to be right now?” you turn to look over your shoulder, reaching your hand out for him and intertwining your fingers loosely.

“there’s nowhere else i’d rather be.” he swings your arms between the two of you loosely. you only drop his hand to pull the rusty door open, greeted by three men, all expectantly waiting for you.

“my, my,” he whispers against the curve of your ear. “looks like we’ve been caught.”

“what do we have here? a little girl…” one of the men grins, looking at you in a way that made dazai want to kill him himself. the way his eyes drag up your body stirs an instinct to pull you behind him. “…and her guard dog?”

of course, he’d never put you in any real danger. this group was pathetic, and even at three to one, they didn’t stand a chance against you. dazai can predict all of their moves flawlessly anyway, and you have a implicit understanding that he never gives you more than he knows you can handle. his gun remains heavy against his side, always within his reachー just in case.

his fingers instinctively twitch towards the grip as one of the men reaches to grab you, but you don’t let him, seizing him by the forearm, leg sweeping him from behind and tossing him onto the ground. he falls to the concrete with a groan, looking up at you with a dazed scowl. the heel of your foot connects with his jaw before he can make another move, and he falls still against the ground.

one of the other men comes from the side, but you’re still too quick, catching him out of the corner of your eye and dodging with ease. you hit him hard enough for him to stumble, and you take the opportunity to grab him by the throat, knocking him backward. dazai’s eyes widen, the hair rising against the bandages wrapped around his arms and neck; he was almost jealous. the man chokes as you slam his back against the wall hard enough for his eyes to roll back and his body to crumple to the ground.

there’s only one man left, and your lip splits when his fist connects with your face. dazai’s eyes narrow, and the man’s glaze over in frustration as you recover quick enough to dodge his next hit, crouching low. you curl your leg around his waist from behind, pulling him down to the ground by the back of his shirt until he’s pinned beneath you.

you’re quick to get up, and when you’re far enough away for dazai’s comfort, he aims his gun and fires once, twice, then again before the man falls still.

the only thing heavier than dazai’s presence is his gaze, and you feel it prickle against your skin like the sharp edge of a knife from where he’s still standing in the doorway. when you meet his eyes, they’re red and glowing, and locked onto you.

he walks towards you, only the heavy sound of his shoes against the cement and your quiet breaths filling the warehouse. you swipe your thumb across your lip, breaking his gaze to look at the blood smeared into the crevices of your fingertip before dazai grabs your chin, tilting it upward. his tongue is warm as it traces along the cut before he presses it past your lips. your noise of surprise is muffled as he kisses you, the taste of your own blood permeating your mouth.

he walks you backward until the back of your heels hit the edge of the cold, concrete wall. his mouth never leaves yours, tracing the roof of your mouth and the edge of your teeth as if he doesn’t already have every part of you committed to memory. his cock strains against the fabric of his trousers, poking against your thigh as he presses himself flush against you.

“dazai,” you try to warn, but it isn’t very convincing, breathed out like a hymn; god, his name has never sounded so sweet. he sings your name back with a smile, groping you through your shirt with one hand as the other unbuckles his belt. he slides his fingers down your stomach until he pulls your shirt out from where it’s tucked into your waistband, flipping the hem of your skirt upward to expose those cute little panties. “we’re still…we’re here. in a dirty warehouse.”

“what’s wrong? there’s no one else around. you made sure of that, didn’t you?” he cups your chin between his fingers again and turns your head towards the enemies, bloodied and unconscious, chests heaving shallowly. he presses a kiss to your jaw, trailing up until his lips rest against the curve of your ear. “did you already forget? when their bloodstains haven’t even set into your clothes yet? i didn’t know you could be so cold.”

he unbuttons your shirt with the flick of his thumb, just enough to expose the curve of your tits, sitting oh so prettily in your bra. he skims his fingers against your panties, stroking the soft fabric where your most sensitive spot is covered. he pulls them aside, giggling against your ear when you’re already wet as he slips his middle and pointer fingers inside of you. your frown falters as he curls them with expert precision, eyelids fluttering in bliss as something achingly sweet ignites in your stomach.

“you know what i was thinking while i was watching you?” he drops his voice low, watching the way you sink your teeth into your bottom lip when he finds your clit, grinding the heel of his palm against it in pressured circles. “‘i wonder how it’d feel for her to choke me like that…to wrap these pretty little fingers around my neck and squeeze’.”

the lingering adrenaline of a fight and dazai’s body pressed so close to yours makes you feel dizzy. you part your lips to reply, but his hand is back on your jaw before you can respond, brushing his mouth over yours teasingly.

“do you have any idea what you do to me?” the pad of his thumb is cold against your warm cheek. he strokes himself with the slick collected on his fingers, pressing into you with the tip of his cock. his bangs fall over his eyes as he hangs his head and watches you stretch around the shape of him, disappearing inside your warm cunt inch by inch.

your nails dig into his arms, feeling his lithe muscles tense through the expensive fabric of his coat. he pries your hands off, fingers wrapping around your wrists as he pins them against the wall, holding them in place with one hand. his grin bites against your neck as you throw your head back and arch your hips instinctively.

“my good girl,” he breathes, sucking the skin beneath your ear between his teeth, soothing it with a kiss when you whine. “my sweet, perfect girl.”

“mhm,” you exhale, your own breath getting caught in your throat. your back is pressed against the cool cement behind you, with dazai’s firm chest flush against your front. the broken window above you pools sunlight over your half-dressed bodies. “yours.”

you feel his uneven breathing against your skin as he presses his lips against your jaw. his cock rubs against you deliciously, velvet walls fluttering and clinging to him each time he pulls his hips back. it’s so easy to melt into him like this, with the security of his hands against your skin, his soft hair tickling your neck, and his cock filling you perfectly, like you were made for him to take.

he lifts your leg, fingers squeezing the plush of your thigh and supporting your weight. he thrusts inside you at a new angle, hitting the slightest bit deeper, but it’s just enough to make you gasp as your belly flutters and your knees nearly buckle beneath his palm as he holds you up. your hands clench around nothing, nails digging into your palms in a desperate need to hold onto something.

“the way you threw that man and pinned him to the ground,” he whispers. “would you do that to me?”

“no,” you’re breathless, words lost on you as your mind clouds over with pleasure. his hips grind against yours, the head of his cock kissing the deepest part of you as your eyes roll backward. “i don’tー i’d never hurt you.”

“but i’d let you,” he rasps. “you could do whatever you want to me.”

he lets go of your wrists, and you bend your leg around his waist, trying to press him even deeper. you balance on your tip toes as he thrusts into you harshly, curling your arms around his shoulders, as if his cock nestled inside you wasn’t close enough; it was never enough when it came to dazai.

“fuck,” your voice is breathy and broken, and it echoes throughout the gutted warehouse. the heat building in your stomach is already overwhelming, rushing to your head until you feel drunk on it. your muscles are taut, toes curled as you feel him throb inside you, his hips stuttering. “osamu.”

his grip on you tightens, and he whines; it’s just barely audible, and you would’ve missed it if he wasn’t right next to your ear. your eyes are hazy, half open as you look at him through your lashes as he watches the way your tits bounce against the fabric of your bra in time with his movements.

your hand trembles as you lift it, closing your fingers loosely around his neck and pulling his gaze back to yours. you can’t help but grin, lips curving up into a drunken smile as you watch his cheeks flush a pretty pink and his eyebrows furrow in pleasure. dazai rarely expresses his emotions so openly, and you commit it to memory as best you can through the fuzzy feelings of bliss blurring the edges of your mind. he lets out the prettiest noise, something between a moan and a cry vibrating against your palm, his cock throbbing inside you as you squeeze his bandaged neck.

his thrusts grow sporadic, breathy moans growing in volume. his nails dig into your hips, and you rub your clit desperately, quivering in his grip as you feel him stall and cum, warm and deep inside you.

everything fades to static as the sweetness in your belly burns brighter and brighter until it finally explodes into white, hot, sparkling pieces that pierce your vision. dazai pants and hangs his head, but his eyes snap to yours as you mumble something close to “cummingー”, always so desperate to take in the pretty way you fall apart for him, because of him.

he whimpers when you draw your hand from his throat to his face, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. you cup his cheek, smoothing your thumb against the tape holding his small patch of gauze in place as you breathe in one another.

your legs ache, tensed muscles finally relaxing as you lower your foot back to the ground unsteadily. your head falls against the wall with a final sigh, chest heaving. dazai is beaming at you when you peek your eyes open after a few moments, looking irritatingly adorable with his messy hair and crooked tie.

“i can’t believe we did that here,” you glance towards the pieces of shattered glass that litter the ground.

“you loved it,” he smiles, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. “you love me〜”

he pulls out of you carefully, snapping your underwear back into place. you grip his tie, wrapping it around your hand and pulling him in to press your mouth to his before straightening it and sliding the knot back into place.

he pouts as he watches you start to button your shirt back up, squeezing your waist softly.

“can’t you leave some open?”

your glare is weak, and he meets it with a smile. he slides his coat off his shoulders, draping it over your own to hide your wrinkled clothes.

“i’ll call a car to get us,” he hums, slipping his hand into your own as he guides you outside the warehouse. “i’ll even give you the rest of the day off for a good performance!”

you rest your head on his shoulder, sleepy and sated. the breeze is cool on your warm skin, carrying the scent of the sea as it gently brushes through your hair.

“you know,” he starts, typing away at his phone, still as happy as ever. “you still owe me lunch from losing that bet last week.”

he has another tease on the tip of his tongue, but he falters when he sees the red splotch of blood staining your pouted lips. he slips his hand beneath your chin and tilts your face towards him. he frowns at the cut, visible eye narrowing as he brushes his thumb against the corner of your mouth.

you wrap your hand around his wrist loosely, pulling it back to press your lips to his palmー i’m okay. he sees one of the mafia’s black cars pulling in from the corner of his eye, and presses a lingering kiss to your foreheadー i know. he pulls the lapels of his jacket tighter around your shoulders before he slips his hand back into yours, and when he walks you to the car, his coat flutters behind you.

BSD MASTERLIST

「 ✦ Cruel ✦ 」 Bungo Stray Dogs, Port Mafia: Dazai Osamu

a/n: follow-up from this fic, i hope i did ok! i really like writing pm dazai... also i wanna thank everyone who has followed me/liked/reblogged my posts. i really didn't expect to get any attention at all, so it means so much to me T_T and i will def get to writing ab the other characters soon~

genre: angst. so much of it. and the nasty.

content warning: f!reader. unrequited(-ish) feelings (but not rly). toxic ass relationship (like, RLY unhealthy), dependent relationship... i hope you don't find MC deplorable because personally i find her real af

MDNI! rough sex, choking, fingering, degradation both from dazai and self (bitch, slut), humiliation, trauma, bj (facefucking). dazai is rly rough with main character and not very communicative beforehand, but he checks up on character during. sex is consensual, but main character continues to force herself to do things she doesn't want to for the sake of wanting to please dazai (there is no pressure or coercion involved on dazai's part, to clear that up). if there's anything else you think i should add, please let me know.

summary: after failing to stop sleeping with the port mafia executive, dazai osamu, despite your unrequited feelings, you've come to terms with the fact that you can't bring yourself to leave him behind. but dazai's determined to show you there's nothing in him worth fighting for.

this place is all too familiar to you.

you’re bent over dazai’s desk and he’s towering over you from behind, pressed up against your body. there’s a haughty grin on his lips as he’s rucking up your skirt, grabbing your ass roughly and making you wonder when you began wearing short skirts all the time, if you’ve started doing it for the sake of easy access. after all, how many times in the past year that you’ve known this man has dazai actually taken the time to properly get you out of your clothes before fucking you, let alone gotten completely undressed for you himself? you could probably count it on one hand.

the thought makes you feel somewhat ashamed, knowing that you’re having routine sex with someone who won’t often do something as simple as strip naked for you. somehow the simple act of undressing feels all the more intimate, which makes you feel all the more distant from dazai, making him feel that much more removed in these fleeting moments you share. but of course, you don’t dare to mention it to him – not now, not ever. just let dazai’s hands roam where they wish, because more than anything, you want to please him. more than anything, you just want him to want you – whatever that might mean.

the last time you saw dazai, you had resolved to leave him for good, determining that your relationship was going nowhere. you were well-aware that dazai was only using you for sex, and that you were in the throes of an unrequited love with one of the most dangerous men in yokohama. but staving yourself off of a man like dazai, who could bring you in and out of heaven, was like trying to quit an addiction. you’ve never found yourself more attached to anyone in your life. it wasn’t long until you found yourself sleeping in his bed again. it was futile trying to fight it now.

“i said to look me in the eyes.” vicious words interrupt your thoughts, followed by an exasperated mutter of, “stupid bitch,” as you feel a few light slaps on your cheek. hands that once traveled up your skin so gently, caressing you and handling you like a fragile object, are now grabbing your neck and squeezing its sides, forcing you to meet his arrogant gaze. this is a different dazai than the one you know, a more cruel, more callous one. “ah, there’s my good girl,” he whispers coldly with a smirk, your jaw caught in his slender fingers as you now properly meet his gaze. “now, open your mouth for me… good. see how much prettier you are when you shut up and stop asking so many questions?”

he slips his thumb into your mouth, wetting it with your tongue before swiping your own saliva across your puckered lips.  “good… suck my fingers like the slut you are,” dazai murmurs erotically into your ear, his hot breath tickling your neck as he dips his fingers in and out of your mouth.  “this is what you want, right? what you keep coming back for.”

his words are mean tonight, like he’s punishing you for trying to get too close to him. vengeful, almost. although it’s quite typical of him to get impatient and even indifferent, dazai’s not the type to bring this kind of demeanor into the bedroom… at least, he’s never shown this side of himself before. but tonight he is more than determined to bare it all to you, to show you what he is really made of – and teach you to stay away from him, for good.

as he looks into your big, trusting eyes, which have never gazed at him with malice, he bitterly reflects on his decision. the vastness of those eyes of yours have never held anything but pure intentions and righteousness. they represent everything that he is not… and they hold the same values that got odasaku killed. you are a mere civilian who threw herself into the port mafia’s radar by sleeping with one of its infamous executives. at this point, your name has snaked its way into the mouth of dazai’s underlings; his enemies have readied themselves at your door. dazai was selfish to think he can keep you all to himself, his precious little treasure.

this was bound to happen, anyway. better that it ends now.

before you fool yourself into thinking a man like him can amount to anything more than a killer.

before your hands get soiled with blood.

before you’re shot dead…

… and before he’s convinced himself that he has a right to any of this. a right to see you, a right to hold you, a right to one day love you.

that’s why tonight, he’ll push you to your limits until you cry out in pain and pleasure; and when you’ve had enough of him and tell him to stop, he’ll leave wordlessly and never return, so you’re left only with the memory of his callousness and utter disregard for you.

gazing into the expectant eyes that are staring into his, dazai hikes his hands up your shirt to palm your breasts only to be surprised to feel nothing but bare skin. “no bra? you really are a slut, huh?” he shakes his head with a dry laugh as he tugs your shirt over your head, discarding the article of clothing on the floor. “always so desperate to be fucked.” nipples hardening at the brush of his hand, you bite back a sinful moan as he teases you with fleeting touches that send pulses to your core. the sight of you so vulnerable in his arms makes him hard; you feel his erection pressing into your back as he plays with your nipples. before you know it, those beautiful fingers of his are reaching for where you want him most – between your thighs, pushing aside your panties and sliding between your slickness.

he gasps mockingly as if he’s surprised you’re wet for him, an arrogant smirk forming on his lips. his hands know you well, his fingers finding the spot that makes you feel the best and rubbing in agonizingly slow circles. you can’t help but let his name roll off your tongue and let him know who you belong to, a quiet prayer on your tongue. succumbing to his touch so easily feels almost like a sin, but if it’s dazai, you’d do it in a heartbeat every time. even if it meant going to hell for it.

intoxicated by his cologne and blinded by his touch, when you feel his lips traversing your neck, you’re thinking to yourself like a fool: yes, this is how it should be. dazai’s awfully gentle now. this is how it should always be. you’re starved for him, begging for him to want you.

begging for him to love you.

but this man will never love you.

because this man is the devil.

“get on your knees, pretty girl.” there are those sweet words of his – ‘pretty girl.’ that term of endearment that he’s whispered affectionately against against your neck when his arms are wrapped around your waist at night, when it’s too dark to head home and you find yourself tangled under the sheets until daytime – those words that have confused you, that have left your brain a muddled mess, that offered you a glimpse into the gentleness that could be. tonight, there’s not a trace of kindness in his unyielding voice – nothing to confuse for kindness. his hands are rough, reckless. tossing you over, he faces you with a look that’s condescending and rotten. “get on your knees, and remind me why i keep you around in the first place.”

you’ll take it.

you’ll take it all –

– even if he’s hitting the back of your throat and gripping your hair so tightly that you can barely breathe, that tears are welling in your eyes, that you’re choking on him. you can hardly keep up with his pace, hands clawing at the floor in a desperate attempt to steady yourself. you’re a distraught mess, lips swollen from his shoving himself into you, saliva dribbling down your chin, an undignified whore. but you’ll take it. you’ll take it all, if that’s what it takes to keep him even for a moment more. you’ll squash the feeling that this is so, so wrong, the awareness that he’s fucking you like an object, the knowledge that you’re nothing but a piece of meat to him.

if that’s what it takes to keep him, even if just for a little longer –

– you’ll take it all.

but when he sees those tear-stained eyes of yours, he just can’t bring himself to do it anymore. he pulls out of your mouth completely, leaving you coughing uncontrollably and desperately gasping for breath. a wave of guilt washes over him, knowing that he put you in this condition in the first place. “come here,” he says harshly, trying to keep up his façade as his fingers dig deep into the flesh of your hips. he tosses you onto the bed, the spring mattress squeaking under your weight, then you feel his body against yours from behind as he covers your eyes with one large hand until you see nothing but black. “don’t tell me you still like this?” he asks in a serious tone. he’s so close to you that you can hear his soft pants against your neck, feel the heat radiating from his skin; he must still be worn out from before.

but you say nothing, nothing at all, your lips sealed in a tight line.

he scoffs at your silence, his grip on your body loosening. “use your words. aren’t you going to tell me to stop?”

you turn to look at him, and your gaze finally meets his once more. your eyes are clouded with tears, your cheeks flushed, your lips trembling. but your eyes are unwavering. that grotesque look that he just can’t stand – those big eyes, still full of devotion, unconditional resolve. eyes that are full of nothing but righteousness. he’s the source of your pain, and yet you look at him with nothing but kindness. you look at him as though he can offer you some sort of salvation —

but this man can’t even save you from himself.

“i’m… i’m not.” your voice is meek, a sob escaping you.

you find your body shaking frantically, suddenly hyper-aware of your nakedness and the fact that dazai’s practically completely clothed.

he takes a seat next to you on the bed and wraps a blanket around you, deep brown irises staring into your eyes dubiously, as though he can’t believe a word that you’re saying. then, reaching out to cradle your face gently in his hand, he strokes your cheek with his thumb. his tender caress makes you sick to your stomach and you feel bile rising in your throat – you wish he would go back to fucking you senselessly and calling you names, if only just to make this cruel fantasy go away.

“don’t touch me like that anymore!” you suddenly blurt out of spite, shoving dazai away angrily. “don’t you know how confusing you’re being right now?” you cover your face in your hands like a child just to keep him from seeing you break down, as if you could possibly hide your stifled cries and the tears streaming down your stained cheeks.

“i see,” he says in a quiet voice, hesitating as he retracts his hand. there’s a grimace on his face as he withholds his words, resisting the urge to say something, anything, to ease the pain. but he knows there’s nothing he could say to take back all that’s been done. a tension hangs in the air, disrupted only by the sound of your shaky breath as you heave into the palms of your hands, pressed firmly over your mouth to silence your heartbroken cries. bending over in pain, there’s an empty pit in your chest as you crawl into his lap like a kicked-down dog. dazai makes no movement to get up, just lets you fall against him and hums softly to comfort you, stroking the tendrils of your hair like a wandering ghost.

when your tears finally subside, leaving nothing but your shattered memories, you glance up at him only to find he’s been gazing at you the whole time. on his face, there was a pained expression. something like regret for the past, or maybe even the future.

he looked as though he had been crying, too.

(c) BSDAWGZ Don't steal or plaigarize cos that's mean... and if you enjoyed the fic, please share! Remember, likes don't share my work, reblogs do! ^^~ Beautiful dividers by @ v6que~!

you said that the “because I love you” fan translation was completely wrong but the OFFICIAL 15 English translation is out and says “that’s what makes me love you” 🤨 so that means the officials are wrong/don’t translate well too?

Dear Anon,

Considering your ask, you might be pretty confused. What is really important is to consider the whole passage of the translation and its context, not just the “because I love you”. I will quote my original post:

"[…] I am so fed up with the damn “It must be because I love you” thing still going around??? And that is not the only problem: the whole part is actually wrong.”

“It must be because I love you” does not really make sense”.

The “whole part” that you really need to pay attention to is actually what comes before the “because I love you”, not what comes after. The “It must be because I love you” is grammatically wrong (you can go back to Kani’s blog for additional grammar explanations), and the context in which it is said leads to a misunderstanding.

It might be easier to understand if you put the three translations next to each other, so here you go:

Dazai, sentence 1:

I got it, I’ll answer. / Fine, you win. / Got it, I’m going to answer.

=> I would say that YP is the less closer one to the original Japanese sentence, but since the meaning stay the same (=Dazai is going to answer), then it is fine.

Dazai, sentence 2:

If I answer, though, will you stay away from me? / But would you mind keeping your distance? / I’m going to answer so could you please don’t come near me?

=> In this one, YP decided to get rid of a part of the sentence (=Dazai saying once again that he is going to answer), but the meaning stays the same in the three translation.

Dazai, sentence 3:

I can’t think when I’m walking with you. / I don’t want anyone to think I know you. / I don’t want it to look as if we’re walking together.

=> While the “because I love you” fan TL and I kept the « walking with you/together » that could be found in the original sentence, YP went for something a bit different with « know ». But while YP’s and my translation have the same meaning (=Dazai does not want people to see them together), the “because I love you” fan TL got « I can’t think when… » (= Dazai cannot think when he is with Chuuya.).

We all agreed on Chuuya’s first sentence!

Chuuya, sentence 2:

I also can’t think when I’m around you. / I feel the same way. / Because I also don’t want it to look like that.

=> In every translation, Chuuya agrees with Dazai! But, while in the “because I love you” fan TL’s Chuuya agrees that he also cannot think around Dazai, in YP’s and my translation Chuuya agrees that he also do not want to be seen with Dazai.

Dazai, sentence 4:

Fufu, looks like we’ll get along. / Hee-hee. Look at us getting along so well. / Tee-hee, we’re getting along ~

=> A few variations, but the meaning stays the same in the three translations!

Dazai, sentence 5:

It must be because I love you. / That’s what makes me love you! / I’m very fond of that about you!

=> Considering your ask, you might be wondering if it is the word « love » in itself that is wrong. It is not! YP could have translated “That’s what makes like you very much!” or “That’s what makes me very fond of you”, and I could have say « I love that about you ». People need to get that there is not only one option to translate « 大好き » (I will put some examples of the use of 大好き at the end of this blog, and if you want to know more about how to say “I love you” in Japanese, here you go). ==> So as I already said, for me the “because I love you” fan TL’s sentence is grammatically wrong, and with Dazai’s 3rd sentence + Chuuya’s 2nd sentence which are mistranslated, you are so misled to think that they can’t think straight around each other and bam, here we have a love confession from Dazai?! ===> If you can see, there is something that YP’s translation and my translation have in common: the « that » and « ! ». The “that” is such an important word! The « ! » comes from the よ particle which is being used for emphasis (so you could even go “!!!”). « I love you » is a whole // « that » is a part. Dazai does not make a love confession here, he just says that he likes it when his dog/toy agrees with him.

Again, I agree with Tsubaki’s translation because the main focus here is 「そんな」 (son-na), which means ‘such’/‘that side’. When you use 「そんな」, you’re just referring to particular traits of that person/object, but not a whole entity. Thus Dazai is not blatantly saying ‘I love you’ if we investigate into the wording and context, but just like the way of how Chuuya AGREES with him

You may argue ‘but hey isn’t 君が大好き means I love/like you in Japanese?? I see it everywhere!!’ Yes you’re right.

Yet still, we have to focus on the whole sentence. The full line of Dazai is 「うふふ、気が合うねえ。そんな君が大好きだよ！」 so [そんな君が大好きだよ] is a complete full sentence, just to let you know that I didn’t play the words such to justify myself. Cool, let’s continue.

We can’t neglect 「そんな」 in this sentence and simply pick out 「君が大好きだよ」 just to justify Dazai ‘confessed’ to Chuuya, no, because it’s 「そんな君」 aka ‘that side of you’ as a whole is the subject of the sentence, so we can never directly interpret Dazai said ‘I like you’ as 「君」 ‘you’ is not the full version of the subject. Thus, we need to take care of the whole subject: ‘that side of you’ 「そんな君」.

Full post on Kani’s blog

Can you see the differences between the three different whole translations in this case? I think that the context is very different, but that some people will not want to see the difference because there is one common word: « love », and they are so insistent on making skk canon (even though the person who did the “because I love you” fan TL explained that it was sarcasm in the end). Using « love » does not make the translation wrong, so my answer to your question is: YP did translate quite well here*, since they at least kept the sentences’ meaning.

To sum-up, YP’s translation keeps the original meaning/context which is: - They both agree on not wanting to be seen together - Dazai says that they are getting along since they both agree on not wanting to be seen together - Dazai loves the part of Chuuya (=そんな君） which is agreeing with him

I guess it should be even more easier to understand how insufferable Dazai is being and how done Chuuya is in this part by watching the 15 stage play if you can!

On that note, here is a translation of a part of an interview between Ue-chan (playing Chuuya) and Rui-kun (playing Dazai) on the 15 stage play which can help understanding their relationship:

植田：[...] あと、僕は太宰 治を相棒と思わないことにしています。

――お！　それはなぜでしょう？

植田：相棒になったつもりが一度もないので（笑）。

一同：（笑）。

植田：たぶん、客観的に見たらどう見ても相棒に感じると思いますが、中原中也本人が太宰 治を相棒だという感覚を持ってしまうとバランスが変わってしまうの思うので、僕は相棒だと思わないことを大事にしています。

――それは今回の舞台からですか？ それとも最初から思っていたことなのでしょうか？

植田：『文ステ』が立ち上がった最初の頃から思っていました。

田淵：僕も相棒というより、太宰にとって中也はおもちゃに近いような感じがします。でも、中也には負の感情だとしても感情が動かされている部分があって、だからこそ作中でああいう態度や素ぶりを見せるのかな、と。

もしかしたら好きなのかもしれないですし嫌いかもしれない。同じ土台に立てるような遊び相手でもあるのかな、といろいろな面を感じます。

Full interview here.

Ueda : [...] Also, I (*boku is used, not ore, so “I” is used as Ueda, not Chuuya) am choosing not to think of Dazai Osamu as my partner.

―― Ah! Why is that so?

Ueda : Because I [never/not even once] had the intention to become [his] partner (laughs).

Everyone : (laughs).

Ueda : It is likely that, if you would look at it objectively, by all appearances I think it feels like they are partners but, if Nakahara Chuuya himself was thinking of Dazai Osamu as a partner the balance would change so, not considering him as a partner is important for me.

―― Since this stage? Or was it something you were thinking since the beginning?

Ueda : I have been thinking like this since around the beginning of “Bunsute”.

Tabuchi : More than a partner, I also feel that for Dazai, Chuuya is more something like a toy. Though, for Chuuya even if it is the feeling of defeat, there is a part that will make him move. I wonder if that is why within the play, he shows those kinds of attitudes and manners.

Maybe he likes it, maybe he hates it. I wonder if he could be a playmate standing on the same ground, those are different kinds of aspects I can feel.

Some examples of how to use 大好き（だ）daisuki (da) :

大好き（だ）：love 0 <0が>, like 0 very much <0が>, be very fond of 0 <0が>

(FR : aimer beaucoup qqn•qqch; adorer qqn•qqch; raffoler de qqn•qqch)

• 私は日本文学が大好きだ。(Watashi wa nihon bungaku ga daisuki da): I love Japanese Literature. ; I like Japanese Literature ‘very much [a lot]’. ; I am very fond of Japanese Literature.

• 太宰さんのことが大好きだ。(Dazai-san no koto ga daisuki da): I like Dazai-san very much. ; I’m very fond of Dazai-san.

・太宰さんはカニ料理が大好きだ。(Dazai-san wa kani ryōri ga daisuki da): Dazai-san loves crab dishes. ; Dazai-san has a strong liking for crab dishes.

・私の大好きな食べ物はカレーライスだ。(Watashi no daisuki na tabemono wa karē raisu da): My favorite food is curry rice.

*Does “hat means the officials are wrong/don’t translate well too?”:

If I were to go farther than this one excerpt from the Fifteen novel, I would say that to be honest, I do not know because I only have the 1st BSD volume from YP, otherwise I only have the volumes in Japanese (novels, manga etc.). But I did saw people complaining about YP’s translation a while ago about those different panels:

If I remember well, I thought that the fan TL was actually better than the official TL for this one. (vol.20, p.134)

This one (vol.16, p.12) is still pretty fresh in my mind: people complaining about their “iconic wtf!” being lost in the official TL. Well... as you may know... in Japanese there is not really a way to say “wtf” anyway... And I remember trying to find a way to TL this exchange and being stuck even though the Japanese is really easy to understand. Because to be honest, YP’s TL is actually closer to the original meaning than the fan TL.

Dosu-kun’s 何です？＝ What? / What is it?

Dazoo’s 何が？＝ What is (what)? -> So I actually think that “What what?” is closer than “wtf”.

And finally, this one (vol.15, p.118-119)! I get it that everyone liked the fan TL, but I think it was a bit... exaggerated? But still in the spirit, so I would say that YP, even though I do not remember what they wrote, did not translate that badly..? But yeah... Chuuya is not saying that he is picking the ADA up for daycare (if I remember well, this is how the fan TL goes), it is more like translating a “vibe” instead of the actual meaning of the words? So it is not 100% wrong, and not 100% right! I just think people tends to see Chuuya in a particular way and wants to make him speak... in a certain way or something..?

I know this shit from somewhere...

AAAAH talk about smooth, I was blushing so hard, my mom asked me if I was texting a boyfriend..

I literally carry a picture of you in my wallet.

woah, who's that handsome fella?

that's really cute. I'd return the favour but I lost my wallet, so I'll keep you in my heart instead.

What a slutty pose aswell

I love flatzai so much😍

GOD me too, such an icon, look at him so dainty and cute. So babygirl

I love your haiku!! I tried writing some myself, but it flopped...🥲

I love your poems, you made me write some silly ones of my own( •⌄• ू )✧

I actually screeched outloud when I read this /pos

My family is very annoyed

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

doyouwannamergeoursoulsforthelowlowpriceoftwentydollars

Helloooooo it is I, your biggest fan!..! Let us merge together in an unbreakable bond, it'd be an honor♡ I'm sorry

To feel like I belong, I wrote this silly piece:

Playful

Or deceiving

An intriguing smile

His expression never falters

No longer human?

Or perhaps

An unshakable hero

Or perhaps

The devil himself

Or perhaps

A quiet protector

Or perhaps

A demon prodigy

I think

It's pretty clear;

Not an unworldly being

Nor a hero

But just

Trying

His

Best.

Not as delicious as yours tho-

I love your poems, you made me write some silly ones of my own( •⌄• ू )✧

I actually screeched outloud when I read this /pos

My family is very annoyed

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

doyouwannamergeoursoulsforthelowlowpriceoftwentydollars

♡Dazai NSFW headcannons♡

✎ 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕟𝕤𝕗𝕨 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖! 18+𝕄𝕕𝕟𝕚 ◇

*・゜・*:.。.*.。.:*・☆・゜・*:.。.*.。.:*・☆ .

O- oral: I honestly think, he prefers to give rather than to receive, its just such good stressrelief to him! How could he pass a chance to fiest and absolutely devour your pretty pussy? He'd only whine if you didn't let him, clinging and holding onto you until you'd grant him a taste, which obviously ends in making you cum atleast once on his tounge... he would tease you at first, dragging his wet tounge ever so slowly around your pussy, leaving your poor swollen clit without any attention. You would have to earn it first, pretty mewls and broken pleas falling from your mouth until you finally, finally get what you deserve.. Dazai would huff with amusement against your cunt, only sending vibrations against your sensitive pussy, as you grip his hair hard, when he finally dives in, tounge lapping your swollen nub. He'd know exactly what to do, how you like it, taking note of the smallest shivers, of what makes you squirm and moan. Dazai would close his mouth around your small clit, gently suckling it, occasionally letting the tip of his tounge graze that bundle of nerves softly. He'd finger you in the process, before going all in, his mouth devouring your cunt, messily eating you out like the starved man he is, groaning against your sweet pussy when you tug his soft brown locks harshly- he doesn't mind. If anything he enjoys it, your taste, the way your legs start shaking as you get closer to your high. Oh, what he'd give to get choked between your thighs-the sweetest death imaginable to him. He'd squeeze the plush of your thigh eagerly, pushing them apart for better access. Once you're approaching your orgasm Dazai would only grip your thighs harder, push his face against your pussy more, relishing the sound of your louder growing moans and squelched noises of his sloppy tounge against your cunt, before making you cum all over his mouth, until you're all spent and happy.

S- Size: He's got some nice length to him, definetly longer than average, not too thick though, just enough to give you a nice stretch. His fat tip flushes the prettiest pink when he's worked up, oozing salty pre-cum, just waiting to be tasted. His cock feels heavy on your tounge, and although he prefers to give oral rather than to receive, he'd never decline a good sucky-suck from you, when youre all pretty on your knees for him. His balls are heavy, waiting to shoot his creamy load all over you, inside of you..

A- Asshole (how mean is he in bed?): Oh, he definetly enjoys torturing you from time to time- he's just an asshole, that's who he is- and although he's usually extremely sweet and attentive, whispering sweet nothings into your your ear, about how well you take him, how tight and warm you are, give him some time and you'll find yourself with this: he'll spank you, deny you of orgasms only to overestimate you completely afterwards, hes mean. He chuckles as he denies you of yet another orgasm. You've lost count of how many it's been, coos of false sympathy coming from him as he nuzzles you softly. Poor you, tears glittering in your eyes as you feel your next orgasm approach. Even his words, usually full of praise, turn into words of degradation as he pounds into you. "Look at what a slut you are.. bouncing on my cock like I havent just fucked you yesterday... what a horny cockslut.." He enjoys it, smirking mirthfully as he watches you squirm as he finally, let's you cum.

M- Mirrorsex: Definetly something Dazai would be into. Just the thought of fucking you infront of a mirror gets him rock-hard. He'd hold you, fucking you in different position as he makes sure every thrust is visible, the way his dick enters your pussy, fucking you hard. You flush, watching yourself get yourself get railed by that sexy brunnette behind you. Laughing breathily, Dazai would drown in the sight of you, face all blissed out, tits bouncing, your pussy taking him so well, practically gripping his dick. He'd make you to look at that mesmerizing sight too, both of your bodies softly illuminated by the warm light in the room.

U- Unknown fact about them in bed: Hear me out on this one: Dazai loves getting choked. I don't think this should come as a huge surprise to anyone, considering his Canon reaction when Kunikida/Chuuya/Odasaku choke him (it literally says he was 'blissed out') and although he prefers being in charge in bed, (I can't really see him as a bottom considering how uncomfortable he is being vulnerable in that way), this manwhore, wishes no more than to be choked by your pretty hands. He's most blissed out when your hands-or thighs- close around his throat squeezing him, bonus if your bouncing on his cock in the process, like he'll whine and cum in seconds if you do that. Honestly, he's such a shameless slut when it comes to that, like he'll gladly be bottom if it means getting choked by you.

D- Drive: I would say his sex drive is fairly high, like, he's horny all the time. Even at times when he's not the first one to be horny out of the two of you, it really doesn't take much for him to get hard and leaking. He can go on for hours in bed, like this man has stamina, he'd last multiple rounds definetly. He'd fuck you on his cock until youre a dumb slut, babbling nonsense, and he doesnt care how long that takes! He usually only stops because his darling is completely spent from his cock♡ otherwise he'd go for more rounds.

A- Aftercare: To be honest, a lot of people say that he would be great at aftercare but I think he's ass at it lmao. Take one look at this man and tell me he's good at taking care of you after sex.. if you're just a casual hookup, I doubt he'd put any effort into aftercare at all, don't get me wrong, he fucks like a pro, but aftercare...? If anything, he might like it if you take care of him. If you are in an established relationship, which is something that a guy like Dazai is not going to get into unless he's so utterly selfishly head over heels with you, then I do believe he'd try to put effort into aftercare, even if it's unlike him. Like he'll clean you up with a damp cloth, bring soft new clothes to wear and maybe make you tea.

Z- Zzz (how fast does he fall asleep after the deed?): Pretty fast, if you're in a relationship, he'd make sure that you're taken care of a bit first, but it doesn't take long until he's out like a light.. and believe me, with the way he's rearranged your insides, you're pretty fast to fall asleep too, he just fucked you that well♡

A- Anal: Ooh, he's definetly down to it, as long you're down to it too, of course..! He'd first make sure that his cock is nicely coated with lube or your juices, before slowly pushing into your hole. He's a stretch, and long, so it takes a moment to get used to, but once he starts circling your pretty, sensitive, little clit while drilling in and out of you, you're in heaven... you'd moan uncontrablly, milking Dazais cock completely dry while he murmurs sweet praises- or words of humiliation, into your ear.

I-Intimacy: (how intimate is he?): I dont think he is an intimate person per se. This is just my opinion, and we've seen over and over again that Dazai is someone who although, knows his way with people, he seems to really struggle to express himself in those more heartfelt moments. Like he's so clumsy with it..! That also applies during sex, he'd probably just fuck you senseless in a way that you'd have no place left to think about the intimate parts of sex, and/or put some sort of 'barrier' between the two of you, like not taking off his bandages, acting overly jovial/light-hearted and acting completely in control. I think these are all very in-character things for Dazai to do and when we look at the close relationships he's had (especially with Odasaku and Ango), he never expressed their bonds and deep friendship explicitly, especially not verbally. THAT DOES NOT MEAN HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT ANYONE! he cares a lot. He just doesn't speak like that. Yes, he does act silly, jovial and carefree, but it shown multiple times throughout bungo stray dogs, that he doesn't act in that manner without any reason and often his behavior even serves to cover some sinister stuff beneath the surface.... so before I go on a rant about this let's get pack to the point lol: Dazai would not act super intimately, especially of you're not close yet, so don't expect any "I love you"s during sex in the beginning. I do think once he is truly in love with you he'll warm up a bit more to being vulnerable and intimate, and give you the world. Literally.♡ (take one look at beast!) So in a nutshell: the amount of Intimacy he shares with you depends on how close you are and how comfortable he is with being vulnerable.

(ノ^∇^)Hii, I hope you liked this, I'm planning on doing more characters soon..! Sorry that I got carried away in the last part, I'll probably make a separate post on Dazai and his relationship with intimacy/vulnerability in different contexts.

.·´¯`·->Also, sorry for any english mistakes!<-·´¯`·.