Some Interesting Game That My Guides Shown Me! I Think Its Very Plutonic But Also Jupiterian.

Some interesting game that my guides shown me! I think it’s very Plutonic but also Jupiterian.

Excerpt from: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The pacing of this scene is so good from a comedic standpoint, but it amazes me how genuine Mary’s character was. At this point you weren’t aware that she had been mind-wiped. So it adds a dramatic tone when you watch it all over again.

12/21

The cards I pulled for myself: X of Cups -- Chariot & Queen of Swords -- Empress & Magician

I have everything I need here. And I get to believe in myself because I understand what I’ve been through. I still have doubt come up, it shows up in my Third-Eye. Because I allow myself to see beyond the field of what’s immediately relevant to me. I have always been able to navigate life through my imagination, opening me up to the powers of the unconscious. But instead of that making me connect with people around me, it made me really cynical. I grew up in a chaotic household that required me to find my own source of comfort as a child, which was cartoons and books. 

In healing my inner child, the one quietly observing, I had to reevaluate my need to retreat from reality. That innocent curiosity which once opened portals into many levels of consciousness. I just now learned to fortify myself with intention, putting a clear boundary before the beliefs of the collective and myself. Which allows me to consume mainstream media in an entirely different way. I know that I’m meant to share ideas openly and the powers of my imagination allows me to not only liberate my mind. But liberate the collective unconscious as well.

The Chariot along with the Queen of Swords showing up in position of my mental state... I’m being signaled towards my potential to receive in relationships. Neptune direct through my house of relationships, not only sets the lessons of my natal Venus into perspective but it’s across from the house where I’m learning to shed an old identity. I’ve gotten a lot of insight about my past lives, which show up through the Lunar nodes. My fear of getting lost in the chaos of relationships closed me off to receiving from them altogether. So while I thought I was protecting myself from my abusive family, I was resisting the lessons they were mirroring to me. I didn’t understand how I had a hand in the dynamic, because I wasn’t willing to see all of their anger and volatility in myself. But in coming to accept my role in other people’s lives I have become more emotionally present. I started to see myself in the world but not of it. I was able to forgive my abusers and heal PTSD, because I finally found real empathy.

The Sword Queen is mirroring my growth, because I’m treating myself differently. People treat you how you treat yourself. You have to learn that in order to conceive connections that reciprocate your awareness. My 1st house Mars gives me the ability to define what I put my energy into by virtue of my identity... my relationships with others is directed by my relationship to myself. I’ve made myself more available to express my imagination, giving back to the world by projecting my visions, the powers of the sacral and third-eye in tandem.

I’m unintentionally manifesting through a reversed Empress by focusing on the value of my personal lessons, it’s Jupiter’s influence on my heart chakra. This is how I’m able to recycle the unconscious reality towards my spiritual wisdom. This is how I’m able to maintain a high vibration as I indulge in fantasy and media. Because I see the truth and how it all connects.

      The 3rd house deals heavily with how we’re socialized, how we internalize behaviors and perpetuate the unspoken policies of our tribe. It can be as tangible to you as your native language, or as illusive as an inherited illness.

--- My dream of an Elephant ---

I was on a night drive with my mom, though we didn’t know where we were going. I knew that we were to meet someone who had previously delivered something to us. But we recognized them as family that didn’t like us... so we decided against going in case that the situation would turn hostile.

We ended up going to the next house, which was the same situation, where the person also didn’t like us. Yet my mother approached the house anyway, because it was trickling with water; we saw a giant fountain in the shape of an elephant. My mom was met with an angry woman that I didn’t recognize, and I left after she followed her inside the house.

There was a beach nearby, but I had to cross this apartment complex that looked like a jungle gym... It was full of characters that reminded me of middle school. I tried to ignore them as they taunted me, but some of them flirted with me too. If I looked them in the eyes too long they would draw me in close-- like energetically. 

Each person seemed to dissipate as an abstract shape, while I climbed a scaffolding from the side of the apartment onto the beach... it wasn’t until I reached the top of the complex that I met someone on the beach who gave me the sweetest kiss ever.

---  July begins my personal month XVI ---

The Tower; with Neptune’s influence over the High-Heart. This arcana represents an event that miraculously shifts your reality... Which can be as subtle as lighting, or as harrowing as a puffy cloud. Neptune is a divine masculine sphere working to descend divine energy into the material plane. We can work with his powers of metaphysical emergence through the Soul Star. This is what allows us to have an immersive spiritual experience while we are on Earth.

Neptune’s influence over the High-Heart is meant to manifest a miracle in disguise. Most people are not open to receive miracles from the divine, because society has brainwashed them to sink into the 3rd dimension. Our higher-self works through the Soul Star, which is never blocked. Except our higher-self will act to support us through whatever level of consciousness that we can be reached. The beliefs that you are attached to can be a way for your guides to shield or protect you. However, people with very strong attachments will manifest huge bouts of struggle as the divine reclaims its presence in their life.

That’s why this card is pretty notorious for it’s symbolism. Neptune in your chart defines your highest potential, but you don’t get to experience it unless you’re doing the work to allow the divine some sacred space in your heart. The High-Heart chakra is even more-so distorted by people’s limited understanding because humanity is still going undergoing a Heart chakra awakening. You can’t expect to ascend into 5D overnight... there’s real 3D work to practice and only by turning to your innate divinity can you begin to witness real miracles on Earth.

--- The planet of my highest potential in my 5th house ---

This is the house of pleasure, where the expression of your soul desires attracts more of what you need. It’s where you grow into your power as a magnetic, creative force, or become engulfed in your own insatiable impulses. 

My 5th house is largely ruled by the sign of Self-actualization, which reinstates my sense of character. I’m someone who learned to be proud of myself, and see my own progress when others treated me like I’m disposable. Neptune has taught me that envy is a self-imposed illusion. It’s a perfect pill for escapists who need to deny that they set their own standards... I’ve struggled with my personality for so long because I kept expecting for people to make space for me to fit into their world. It wasn’t until I realized that I could make my own world-- that I belonged to my own lane and category, did I actually start to respect myself. 

A huge marker of my adolescent period was about my self-expression as a culturally displaced, visibly queer kid.

I’ll be using my spectrum chart to make my personal 2022 transit calendar.