Hi!

Hi!

I'm on the second chapter of "What a Doll, what a Dish" and I'm a bit confused 😅

In the first chapter the mc is mentioned to be wearing winter wear and in the second one she is wearing a sundress. Was there a time skip that I missed?

And in the second one at the end of the chapter it says that they got back home at sunset, but in the next paragraph it's 8 am.

Maybe I'm a bit lost, just wanted to point it out to you in case these are errors made while editing these chapters. Not trying to be mean at all 🙏

First of all, thank you for reading the fic!! And second, yeah, there are a LOT of inconsistencies in it 😭😭 I notice and cringe at them all the time istg

I'm planning to give the first two chapters an extensive rewrite but it'll be a little bit until I get around to it (chapter one is in the works rn I couldn't look at it anymore lmao

Thank you for pointing it out to me!! In the meantime I'll just add a coat or smth

I'll Never Meet Another You - Part 3

📺 【 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑰 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑰𝑰 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑰𝑰𝑰 】📺

𝐀/𝐍: *coryxkenshin ass entrance* Hey! W-Wassup? *sweats uncomfortably* It's been a while...

➺ 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬: Obsession, stalking, Boss/Favored Employee, manipulation, Vox having no sense of boundaries, but you don't notice because you're too busy fangirling lmao ➺ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟏,𝟖𝟔𝟖

. . . 

. . . 

The commotion of rushing employees, frantic in their pace to their respective workplaces and office buildings nearly dizzied you on your way to the tallest building in the Entertainment District. Neon luxury bathed every street of the promiscuous sector, composed of streets filled with depraved Sinners, and had your wandering eyes widened with awed stars. 

You had attempted to put more confidence into your steps as you walked around the district, trusting your phone to lead you to the Vee’s main headquarters, despite being slightly shaken by your surroundings.  

But you were determined to keep up the facade of not being too shifty, shy, or ready to bolt. It wasn’t like you even could bolt, anyway. You’d missed your morning shift, and God only knows what would happen to you if you returned to that diner... 

The soft whirring of an overheated camera barely caught your attention, as you were so wrapped in your own little world to notice how the lens adjusted to look directly at you, glaring down at you as you walked. 

The cameras set above the entire city, unbeknownst to cute, quaint little you, had zeroed in on your form since your arrival, wearing a large overcoat – slightly worn, but suitable – over the delicious little outfit that had one demon in particular frothing at the mouth. 

He couldn’t wait to pick out his own little outfits for you to wear, all tailored to match him and his tastes. Just imagining his cute, future wife clad in the dresses that housewives would wear in his time was enough to send the demon into complete overdrive.

Vox was already walking around the halls in a calm frenzy as soon as you slammed the door to your apartment, with your filled-out application in hand. His nerves wouldn't allow him to sit still, not for a moment, not while his dearest was out there, on the streets for any to grab! 

He had even watched with growing tension as you debated over whether you should go to the interview, to which he nearly activated his hypnotism to just push you out the door and into his arms already-! 

Vox cleared his throat. No need to lose his patience, now. You were here, in his domain. No other unworthy scum of a Sinner could snatch you up, now. 

Besides, you put in so much effort to impress your future husband boss, shouldn’t he do the same for you? 

. . . 

“Are you deaf, or just that fucking ᵾꞩēłēꞩꞩ?” Vox barked to the nearest intern, watching them with pure contempt as they shuddered under his icy glare. 

“I-I’m sorry, Sir! I’ll put in an a-appointment with her right away!” 

“Good. Clear my schedule of other meetings for now, and have my office prepared for my appointment.”  

Shock dawned on the intern’s face, but before another moment passed, he stuttered pitifully, “Uhm, could I get her name, S-Sir?” 

Antenna sparking impatiently, Vox allowed your name tumble softly from his lips. No trace of malice from his exhausted frustration poisoning his words.

The tension in his padded shoulders loosened just ever so slightly, before he snapped again at the young trainee, who was blinking dumbly up at him with his mouth agape. 

He’d never seen his boss so calm... It set the hairs on his neck to stand on-end. 

“You got that?” 

The intern jumped, glasses nearly falling off his nose as he frantically jotted down your name. “Got i-it!”

With that, he quickly scampered away to let his other staff members aware of the boss’s new assistant, a shiny toy that innocently wandered the streets of Hell without a care in the world. He prayed for whatever poor soul managed to catch his employer's ever-watching eyes.

Vox rolled his eyes with a disgusted groan before starting again down the hallway. Fluorescent lights bloomed ahead of him, setting a pale, neon path of electric teal and offices stretching literal miles until the nearest elevator.

He probably shouldn’t have left such an important task to some incompetent underling, but there was too much on his plate to deal with it, for now. He had a date meeting with a lovely little doll to prepare for.

For every section of the Vee’s tower, there was a flair completely unique to each member, whether that be Velvet’s more glamourous, chic wardrobe of bone-thin, overworked models, Valentino’s debauched studio simmering with lust around every corner, or the advanced, technologically-inclined office floors where Vox normally dwelled. 

Floors that you would rule over, seated comfortably next to him.

Pointed dress shoes, tipped with cyan flared blue sparks against the polished marble floors like the very electricity the Overlord emitted. Had anyone walked past Vox in that moment, the hairs on the back of their necks and arms would have risen in tandem with the crackling energy that tainted the frigid air. 

There was very little in Vox’s afterlife that brought him comfort, but he couldn’t help but find solace in the thought of you rushing down the streets of the Entertainment District, simply to make it on time to your appointment with him.  

Honestly, it was only a matter of time before he had you in his clutches. Like a naive little lamb to the slaughter, you trusted him with your very soul. 

And, no doubt, that would very soon belong to him, too.  

Vox nearly blue-screened at the thought of a chain around your neck, emblazoned with his name, electric-blue and sparking against your tender skin. He could feel the light buzzing around his cheeks that flared up in a soft lavender-pink against his interface.

Just then, the equivalent of hairs rising on the back of Vox's neck came in a series of light sparks tickling the outlets on the back of his head.

“Voxxy~!” 

Ӻᵾȼҟīꞥꞡ- 

Immediately fixing his grimace, Vox swerved around on his heel with the most tooth-grinding smile he could muster, though a twitch of his left eye was a dead giveaway.

Valentino didn't so much as blink at the Overlord's obvious irritation, not at all taking the hint that maybe this wasn't the best time to pester him with whatever the fuck Val was failing to manage now-

"I've been looking for you everywhere, cariño!" The oversized insect said with too wide a smile, too forced a laugh, and Vox knew he was in for an interrogation - either that, or Val was, once again, trying to rope him into bed.

"You've been locked up in that apartment of yours for so long, amour, why don't we relax for a bit~?"

Vox didn't allow Valentino to usher him a single step away from the large window he'd been overlooking the district, wondering which shadow that scurried the streets belonged to you.

And what a sudden appearance, too. If his mind weren't swarming with thoughts of where you could be at the moment, Vox would've been questioning the sudden - and painfully obvious - distraction Valentino was trying to pose.

"I don't have time for that, right now," Vox brushed off his touch with a disgusted glower. "I have a meeting in ten, so it's going to have to wait, Val." He turned to walk away, albeit with his feathers slightly ruffled, but it was nothing that a couple moments spent with you couldn't-

"A meeting?" The moth demon blinked, his eyes adjusting to the blaring lights ahead. Vox was surprised that Valentino had even made an effort to visit him on his floor, since the Overlord was clearly blind out of his wits.

"Hm... Could this have something to do with whatever's been distracting you from your job, recently? Or..." Valentino scowled down at Vox with a narrowed, scrutinizing gaze taking in the sudden tensity in his padded shoulders.

His face curled into a triumphant sneer when Vox stopped dead in his tracks. If there was anything Valentino hated, it was being ignored.

"Or whoever?" Crimson tendrils of smoke blew from the moth's mouth, tainted by his ire. "They're probably a good fuck, if they managed to match up to your standards," with another smokey drag, Val rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "Since you won't take any of my whores."

"Ɇӿȼᵾꞩē ᵯē?"

White-hot electrical currents climbed up Vox's throat, spreading through his fingertips and zapping at the antenna of his hat. He glared up at Valentino through glitching red eye sockets, daring him to overstep further.

The moth hid a heated shiver underneath Vox's murderous gaze, his glitching eyes sharpened, poisonous blades slitting into his skin at the mention of you.

Oh, you... You were different, weren't you? Not just some cumdump for Vox to use and abuse all in one night, nothing like his dolls that would return to him, bruised and in hysterics because of what Vox did to them.

No. You were special to him. The very thought made Valentino's blood seethe.

"You are certainly one to talk about being distracted."

The porn director took no offense to Vox's insinuation, already as comfortable as he could be with the knowledge that it was the television demon who took reign of the strings.

With overflowing confidence, He simply crossed his arms with a venomous smirk, jutting his hip out beneath one of his lower arms.

Val's way of blowing off steam would one day surely get him brutally murdered. By his own fellow Overlord, no less.

"Aw, did I touch a nerve there, Voxxy~?"

And Vox was two seconds away from ripping the insect apart.

"Don't ӻᵾȼҟīꞥꞡ test me right now-"

"Sir?"

A small, agitating buzz coming from the installed intercom on Vox's face further tipped the overflowing bucket of his impatience. Yet another idiotic distraction from you, another obstruction from his darling's side.

With a final, stinging glower shot towards Valentino, and a non-committal grunt, his claw gave a single tap to the now prominent phone icon on the side of his face.

"Go manage one of your sluts, Val. Maybe actually do your fucking job, for a change."

Vox spared no glance to the moth, but a spiteful scoff and the clicking of back-breaking heels stomping away from him gave enough closure.

"Ӻᵾȼҟīꞥꞡ ⱳħⱥⱦ?" The noxious growl of Vox practically grinding his teeth into the intercom sent jolts of spiking electricity down the employee's spine.

Fuck, this must've really not been a good time to bother him.

The employee huffed as sweat formed at his brow. He mustered up the courage to speak again after feeling as if his tongue would be cut out, should he utter a syllable.

Maybe give Vox the coffee with the sweeter creamer, next time.

"Well, uhm... The lady you wanted me to set up an appointment for... S-She's already here, sir."

Every ounce of bottled-up fury dissipated. Like a sudden, Godsent sunlight bursting through thunderous clouds, the storm in Vox's mind suddenly evaporated into thin air.

Vox tried to grasp his once boiling-hot, downright murderous fury, but the mention of you had stolen every bit of attention he had to spare. Only one emotion - or a muddle of them, really - managed to seep through his voice, into a single syllable.

Shock, surprise, disbelief, jittering excitement, and then...

"What?"

. . .

𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: So, I know its been *checks calendar* (fucking hell- TWO MONTHS??) a while since I've updated this fic, but I swear there is a perfectly reasonable, understandable explanation.

The Vox brainrot has failed me, and I've been indoctrinated into the Welcome Home fandom (do expect some fics about WH btw) ANYWAYS! enough rambling, thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you next time :)

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @starsformydarlingmazel, @chitter-chatter, @hazzbindarlingg, @darkangel582, @matrixbearer2024, @prosciuttosblog, @frog-fans-unite, @mysterypotatoink, @burgerflipper72, @chibikochannumberone, @strawberry-gothic, @roboticsuccubus83, @lulurubberduckie, @fangirlanxiety74, @viviannagiorgini, @localmsifan, @justtnat, @karolinda007-blog, @mglawwica, @wonderlandangelsposts, @saitisfied, @repostingmyfavs, @weirdflower2024, @montis-posts, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @theperfectmangovoid.

@slytherin4ever, @i-love-jafar, @itzlochnessie, @mariaclarade-la-cruz1, @susvale, @valentique, @twismare, @robin-the-enby, @v3n7s, @forbidden-sunlight, @leathesimp, @matemor, @groovybear99, @frompeach, @moonmark98, @nyxnightshade7656, @sushigogo, @crowleysthings, @zombiesnips-blog, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @impulsivethoughtsat2am, @ashdaidiot, @crybabycat1, @repostingmyfavs, @crazii-saber-wolf, @reikamasama, @dudesorriso, @speckle-meow-meow, @alastor-simp.

@maggotzdilemma, @cassidywinters, @justgiulia, @lucifers-silhouette, @going2hell4hazbin, @martinys-world

Kill Your Darlings - Part Three

𝐀/𝐍: I think I'll start posting the rest of this series on A03, while posting one-shots and requests on Tumblr. It's been cool posting my series here, but I prefer posting to A03 when it comes to longer fics.

Nonetheless, please enjoy!

➺ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 𝟑,𝟑𝟓𝟎

The incessant clicking of a mousepad and the mad ticking of fingers flying over a keyboard filled the barren kitchen, as he occasional moan of the wind rocking the apartment complex back and forth and the cold, hard blare of the silver screen on your laptop aggravated the pain of your headache.  

The tips of your toes just barely brushed against the frigid kitchen tile as you leaned obsessively over your computer, clicking away on the mousepad like it was your lifeline.  

At that point, it very well could’ve been, since the precious piece of technology held all of your answers, answers that Alastor wouldn’t offer you – not without a price. 

And you had nothing left to barter, since he already owned your soul – a thought that loomed over you when the demon wasn’t around to distract you from that chilling reality. Alastor owned you. He could’ve pushed you around like a dog strapped to a chain, and yet he didn’t. Most likely because he couldn’t truly control you, since you weren’t lost to his wrathful clutches just yet. 

So, using your timed freedom, you did some digging around on the web in a last-ditch attempt to find anything about Alastor himself, and his history. Know thy enemy, as the saying goes. 

But whether he was truly your enemy, would be tested with time. 

And right now, the blasted internet was proving to be a worthy opponent, since you were practically tearing your hair out by the bunches since you barely discovered anything about him. Still, you were determined to decode his mystery. Humans were terrifyingly efficient at finding each other, and dead ones would be no more difficult, even if you found squat about Alastor. 

Mark my words. I’ll find out who you are, Alastor.  

“Where there is a will,” you clicked away from the barren search results, fully prepared to surf around the dark web if you had to, “There is a fucking way.”  

Even though you hadn’t a clue to his origins or background, you were convinced that Alastor had to have been some kind of serial killer while he was alive, and you’d bet your soul on it.  

His personality fit the stereotype – a well-based one, at that – he was haunting your fucking radio – granted, a very swanky radio – and on top of that, Alastor was a literal demon . Maybe. You weren’t all that certain about what exactly he was, but there was too much evidence supporting the theory to consider him being anything but. 

Whatever the case, you were convinced. Alastor was, without a doubt, a bona fide serial murderer . Perhaps that ominous information should’ve put you on edge, but you were twisted too deep in Alastor’s captivating mystery to care. Fascination had overcome your fear of the unknown, and you were ready to dive in, and lose yourself in his mysterious past. 

But that was proving to be damn near impossible, when you could barely find anything about the bastard. He was a footnote in history, at best. No last name, no family members related to him, nothing.  

Still, you were determined. 

Leaning forward, you chewed on your thumb nail whilst scrolling through yet another forum that went into thorough detail about demon encounters and sacrificial rituals. Or, at least, a human’s rendition of them.  

You had sifted through a fair share of information on demons as well but turned up with virtually nothing, save for many helpful bold-lettered warnings that demanded to be heeded: Do not. Fuck. With demons.  

“Gee, thanks,” you muttered to yourself, clicking away from the site before groaning and massaging your aching temples. 

By all standards, it had been an agonizingly unproductive session of information-scouring. However, you had made some headway with a client of yours and finished most of your task list. Everything minor was shoved to the side in desperation of somehow piecing together Alastor’s intentions, stressing over his poorly veiled threats, and trying to figure out just whoever the hell he was in life. 

Just as you were about to yield to the great barriers of the internet, with nothing but an increased hopelessness and frustration at your lack of understanding of your new “Master” – as you were loath to call him – a soft wisp of a shadow flitting about the kitchen caught your attention out of the corner of your eye. 

“Hello, there,” you sighed without looking up at the shadow, already annoyed with its presence as it leaned over the counter with a smug grin.  

One glance at the computer and your hopelessness told it a thousand words regarding your predicament. 

“Yeah, yeah, you can gloat later. I got plenty done, anyhow.” You raised an eyebrow towards it. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about him, would you?” 

The shadow stared down at you, unimpressed as it crossed its arms, crackling curtly in response. Absolutely not.   

“Aw, come on, not even for a snack? I could make you something.” You nodded towards the fridge, grinning when it perked up and followed your glance. “Just throw me a bone here. Give me a hint, anything, and maybe I’ll give you a nice meal. How does that sound? C’mon, I’m sure you’re hungry.” 

Its emerald green sockets glimmered mischievously, and it bristled with a soft purr as it leaned down on the counter, practically drooling at the thought of a meal.  

A low rumble shook the floors with an unmistakable growl of hunger, and it whined softly. 

You pouted sympathetically. Seems like Alastor hasn’t fed it, recently.  

“Oh, poor baby,” it nuzzled into your soothing touch as you scratched behind one ear. “I’m sure he doesn’t feed you as much as he should,” the shadow’s stomach rumbled in response. 

“Resorting to bribery, are we?”  

You rolled your eyes as the radio flickered on, and you raised an eyebrow at it as it sat innocently upon the coffee table. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” You cooed down at the eager shadow as you completely ignored Alastor and his offended scoff.  

“Ignoring someone when they’re talking to you is quite rude, my dear-!”  

“I have some chicken that I can prepare for you. You can choose the spices, the temperature, whatever you want,” you were beaming cheekily when the shadow perked up, one fuzzy ear twitching towards you. 

“Temptress,” Alastor snapped. 

You at least had the decency to feel partly ashamed, though you just grinned triumphantly. You weren’t proud of having to barter for information, but whatever got you the scoop on Alastor was well worth it. 

“That’s right, just imagine those carefully baked, golden-brown edges, and oh, think of the spices!” Alastor rolled his eyes at your dramatic tone, choosing to peek through the shadow’s eyes at you. Pretty little temptress. You’d somehow tamed his shadow, and he was certain it wasn’t just the chicken that it was after.

To Alastor’s chagrin, the devilish phantom had all but leapt over the counter towards you, curling around you with a loud purr as it nuzzled into your neck.  

You chuckled at its antics and pushed yourself up from your seat, stretching your cramped back and legs and wincing from the lightning strikes of pain that shot up your joints from the hours of sitting in a hunched position. 

“Alright, let’s get you some food,” you scratched beneath its chin, and it hummed contentedly in response, its fluffy tail enthusiastically beating the air. 

“Traitor.”  

You cast a triumphant smirk at the slight pout in Alastor’s from the other side of the line. “Oh, I’m just doing some charity work. Clearly, you’ve been starving the poor thing,” you rubbed the shadow’s cheek, grinning smugly as it nuzzled into your neck with a soft coo. 

“Charity work!? You’ve seduced it with your wiles!” Alastor spat indignantly. 

You rolled your eyes while pulling out a few ingredients. “It’s food, Alastor. And you know what they say,” the shadow suddenly tittered and flew away from your side to rummage through the spice cabinet, “The way to a man’s heart, is through his stomach.” 

“It has no heart, and it is no man,” his tone darkened slightly, but you either took no notice or simply didn’t care as you took out the raw chicken from the fridge. 

“But it’s attached to one,” you grinned cheekily as the shadow returned with several spices in its arms while smiling widely with a wagging tail, while Alastor scoffed with a roll of his eyes. 

You clapped your hands. “Alright, let’s get to work.” 

. . .  

Alastor had grown quiet for most of the process, leaving you and the shadow in pure, content silence as you got to work around the kitchen. The shadow was entirely unbothered at his master’s sudden radio silence, instead choosing to make itself comfortable looming around your form while watching you season and prepare its supper. 

As you waited for the chicken to be cooked, you turned to the shadow who had been staring at you with its head resting upon its inky palm while watching you work with salivating, emerald eyes, simmering with the fire of raw gemstones.

“Now, I believe I was promised some information in return?”  

Static buzzed as it put a finger to its chin, humming softly before speeding off into the apartment, and it soon returned with a pen and paper and scribbled madly across the parchment. 

Alastor Hartifelt.  

As soon as the name tumbled from your lips, a loud record-scratching screech sounded from the living room.  

Ӻᵾȼҟ.  

But you didn’t even flinch at the ear-splitting noise as you grinned and nodded in approval, your determination flickering bright yet again. “Finally, we’re getting somewhere.” You barely got a moment to process your excitement at a new lead, a possible doorway to the holy grail of information about the strange, ominous demon haunting your actual radio-!  

Ding!  

The shadow’s ears twitched in the direction of the noise, and it was suddenly nipping at your nipping at your heels and pushing you insistently towards the oven. You were certain that it was drooling all over your floor, but you stifled your jittering excitement anyway. There were promises to be fulfilled, after all.

“Alright, alright!” Batting the phantom away, you grabbed the oven mitts with a sigh. 

“Not so easy now, is it?”  

“Oh, nobody asked you!” 

You soon plated the chicken and served it over to the phantom, who made quick work of the poor bird in mere seconds. At least it was already dead, you shuddered, trying to push the image of being ferociously torn apart by its razor-sharp canines out of your mind. 

It licked its chops with a satisfied rumble once it finished with not a crumb left on the plate you offered, and you were still reeling from the bizarre few minutes you spent watching it enjoy your cooking. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if it licked the plate. Seriously, how long has it been since the poor thing’s eaten?  

The shadow immediately curled around you as you sat down in front of the counter, hissing lowly at the laptop before burying its face in your neck with a soft growl. You didn’t want to be rude and shove it away, and besides, the shadow’s aura was surprisingly warm, which shielded you from the cold, drafty air of the apartment. 

And so, you allowed it to remain cooing and teething around your neck – as on-edge as it made you – while you typed Alastor’s full name into the search bar. 

As soon as you hit enter, the internet decided to be helpful again, and provided you with a golden website, containing any and all answers to your ever gluttonous curiosity for your new demonic companion, and his shadowy servant.

You smirked and ruffled one of the shadow’s ears. “Nice sleuthing, Alastor Jr.” The shadow grinned into your neck and pulled you even closer, while Alastor chuckled softly at the nickname, choosing to survey the laptop through the eyes of his ghostly scout. 

Not the first choice I’d make, since simply going down to the station would’ve sufficed.  Alastor sniffed and rapped his gleaming nails against his desk, eyeing the device with distaste. Then again, it doesn’t seem like those incompetent oafs would want an account of something so gruesome happening just beneath their noses staining their records!  

You relaxed into your seat, mentally preparing for the deep dive into Alastor’s shady past that you were about to take. It seemed that no information was buried enough to be obscured, so long as you were awfully specific with your search.  

But thank the merciful deities above that some history buff – who seemed quite outraged at the lack of discussion and information around their favorite serial killer – had taken it upon themselves to collect and piece together a consistent timeline of events, all centered around one Alastor Hartifelt. 

Got’chya.

You scrolled a little bit through the Godsent gold mine of information, baffled at just how much there was for you to access. Apparently, Alastor Hartifelt had been a charismatic personality on the radio, a beloved host and rising star in New Orleans. Around the time that he’d made his debut as a radio host, however, was when the murderers started. 

The presence of the Bayou Butcher rocked the city harder than any other scandal at the time, and you couldn’t blame the people for being so paranoid, after reading the brief description of his kills, and his M.O. 

You whistled. “Damn. You have quite the track record, Alastor.” 

“I’m well aware, my dear!”  

You raised an eyebrow at the sound of ruffling paper in the background, accompanied by the clicking of frantic typing. But it didn’t sound anything like the short tapping of a keyboard, and the telltale ring heightened your suspicions. He cannot be serious...  

“Alastor, do you have a goddamn typewriter?”  

“It’s essential, darling! Every good radio host needs a captivating script,” you laughed and shook your head. He’s committed to the bit, I’ll give him that. 

As you explored the very depths of the case surrounding the Bayou Butcher, you began to grow quite curious and weary of just how Alastor disposed of his victims. Unfortunately, there was a certain tab that fed into that very curiosity. At least they provided a warning, before you could view what came next. This one was on yourself. 

“Fucking Christ!” You nearly jumped out of your seat as you clasped your mouth in horror, eyes widened with terror at the gory, uncensored photograph of one of Alastor’s maimed victims.  

The poor soul’s belly had been slit open with a still-inserted butcher knife, with his rotting insides displayed for all to see and staining the floor with bile and undigested food. Squirming maggots and fat cockroaches feasted upon the corpse, which had been festering with mold and disease in Alastor’s basement for quite some time before the authorities found it. 

“Language, my dear~,” said demonic psychopath sang from the radio, and you were just about ready to chuck that thing out of your window as your eye twitched. 

“Prick...” you muttered, quickly scrolling away from the photograph. 

“I heard that.”  

“Greatest apologies, my liege,” you rolled your eyes. Alastor let out an amused huff but said nothing as he went right back to typing out his script. 

Bold headlines like ‘The Bayou Butcher Strikes Again!’ or ‘Victims Brutalized and Missing, Families Torn Apart’ were thrown around wherever you scrolled, and a mere glance at the cohesive timeline provided in one of the documents gave you a good window for how long Alastor had been active. 

“Huh. Seven years...” Alastor perked up at the sudden weariness lacing your meek voice. He had been tuning out for most of your little binging spree, instead electing to tuck into a book in the later evening, since sleep was seldom required for him. Nonetheless, he reluctantly took a peek through his shadow’s eyes to see what you were looking at on that blasted lap-top doohickey of yours, and dread filled his heart. 

Seems that some folks were quite fixated upon my choice of diet...  

Alastor bristled at the other end of the line, practically scenting the small flicker of terror. Your rising fear of him was building up again, and that just wouldn’t do.

Sure, Alastor was cruel, a monster, even, and he knew it. His deeds would instill fear in the hearts of even the most hardened soldiers, and his gluttony, his bloodlust knew no bounds. But not to you, not to the poor, lost little lamb that he’d so graciously taken into his care, that practically domesticated his shadow, who bantered with him. And just when he’d finally broken down a small part of your walls- 

“...So, is it true?” 

Alastor raised an eyebrow, halting from his tireless typing for a moment. “Is what true, my dear?”  

“That you...” you held back from gagging, and a slick smile crept onto his gray lips, “That you ate some of your victims?” 

Sighing, he leaned back in his cushioned chair and gripped the small microphone that he used for broadcasting. The idea of lying to you, treating you like everyone else prickled at his heart with resentment. There was no need to push you away. You were different. It would be different, this time. 

It had to be.

With a defeated sigh, Alastor nodded, though you couldn't see him. At least you’d know, now. At least there wouldn’t be any secrets between you two. 

“Yes,” was the demon, the cannibal’s resounding answer, and the room grew a few degrees colder with tension.  

You’d known that Alastor was... shady, at best. But now, it was out. It was certain. Alastor was a dangerous man, during life and death, but you knew that from the jump.

But at least he told you the truth, and maybe you could count on that, which was a strangely comforting thought. 

You sighed with relief. “As long as you don’t force me to try it.” Alastor chuckled along with you, grinning wider when you clicked away from the computer and sat back with a tired sigh.

“I think that’s enough snooping for tonight. ‘Night, Al’,” you yawned and softly rolled the shoulder that the phantom had been leaning on, and it retracted reluctantly with a soft whine. 

“Wait-!”  

You paused. Turning to the radio, you cocked an eyebrow at the desperation in Alastor’s voice, and he seemed to notice it too, since an awkward silence followed. Heat crept up the radio host’s neck, prompting him to itch and pull at his collar with a low snarl. 

Alastor fucking loathed this feeling. 

“Did you... Did you see anything else? Anything that caught your eye, perhaps?”  

It was the first time that Alastor had spoken to you with anything but suave confidence. “No, why? Is there something even worse than cannibalism, that I should know about?” Crossing your arms, you leaned against the threshold of the living room. 

Alastor softly cleared his throat. “No, nothing like that, my dear. I was simply curious as to how much information was disclosed...” he straightened in his seat, refusing to recognize his anxiousness. “Any mentions of family, spouses, perhaps...?”  

You shook your head with a negatory hum. “Nope, it was all just about you. Why’s that? Did you have a wife? Or a husband?” 

“Just wondering, darling,” he replied hastily, choosing to side-step that question as relief flooded him.

You eyed the radio sympathetically. “Sorry, if that’s... a bit too personal for you. I get it, if you don’t want to talk about it.” Shrugging, you started down the hallway with a wave and a yawn. “Goodnight, Alastor.” 

Alastor watched you, yearning, remorseful eyes tracing the familiar, soft curves of your form as you disappeared down the hallway.

And he answered your final words of the night, a solemn whisper against the cold, bleak air as memories of decades passed invading his memory, threatening overflowing emotions to pool to the surface. 

If you only you could hear the choke in his voice, the restrained tears, the remorse, the regret.  

“Goodnight, my darling.”  

. . .

𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: Thank you for reading <3 It'll be a while before I post here again, since I'll be focusing on my series on A03. If you'd like to read the rest of the fic, I'll put my account below for ya'll

𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 - A03

. . .

➺ 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @starsformydarlingmazel, @chitter-chatter, @hazzbindarlingg, @darkangel582, @matrixbearer2024, @prosciuttosblog, @frog-fans-unite, @mysterypotatoink, @burgerflipper72, @chibikochannumberone, @strawberry-gothic, @roboticsuccubus83, @lulurubberduckie, @fangirlanxiety74, @viviannagiorgini, @localmsifan, @justtnat, @karolinda007-blog, @mglawwica, @wonderlandangelsposts, @saitisfied, @repostingmyfavs, @weirdflower2024, @montis-posts, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @theperfectmangovoid

@slytherin4ever, @i-love-jafar, @itzlochnessie, @mariaclarade-la-cruz1, @susvale, @valentique, @twismare, @robin-the-enby, @v3n7s, @forbidden-sunlight, @leathesimp, @matemor, @groovybear99, @frompeach, @moonmark98, @nyxnightshade7656, @sushigogo, @crowleysthings, @zombiesnips-blog, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @impulsivethoughtsat2am, @ashdaidiot, @crybabycat1, @repostingmyfavs, @crazii-saber-wolf, @reikamasama, @dudesorriso, @speckle-meow-meow, @alastor-simp

@maggotzdilemma, @cassidywinters

*snatches pipe and runs away*

can someone hit me with a metal pipe please ty <3

I hereby nominate @alastor-simp, @forbidden-sunlight, and @certifiedcrybabyyy, @matrixbearer2024, and @y3nze1. Please add to this bc I am PAINFULLY uncreative and there are many brilliant writers out there in this fandom.

And let me just take the mic and say-

You are brilliant. You are deserving of being recognized for your work. I adore you, and you are such an incredible writer and I truly appreciate everything you do for this fandom and keeping the community alive.

Love ya'll authors, thank you for your service 🫡💋

A very incomplete list of Hazbin Hotel Fanfiction Authors/Geniuses

I cannot believe the awsome, talented, absolute magnificent people I've met through this fandom. Writing FF for Hazbin Hotel has become one of my greatest joys in life, and reading the stories and creations of my fellow friends and idols is something that can brighten my whole week - and we don't gatekeep. So, if you're in search for a good read, here are a few of the SUPER AWSOME people I stalk (and I want to stress - this list is never going to be complete, but I'll try to edit it as there are just SO MANY GODDANG MASTERS out there!) @bapple117 If you love #RadioStatic, you have to read 'Bluest Monday' (completed) and the follow-up 'Say Hello, Wave Goodbye' (WIP) She'll break your heart in the most beautiful way. If you don't fancy that but Alastor is your go-to, then you will want to dive in head-first into "If You Can't Say Somethin' Nice, Don't Say Nothin' At All" (complete). But as before, be ready for a rollercoaster of emotional moments and extremely spicy shenanigans.

@hazelfoureyes Goddess of the smut, Hottest writer in Hell - If you're horny, Hazel has got you covered. Especially her 'The safeword is Radioapple'-Mini-series will make you sweat like a Zumba-Instructor on crack. Be prepared to blush, tremble, die and immediately ressurrect, because yes. She is THAT good.

Clover/corruptedteacups on AO3 With whooping 75 chapters and 300k+ hits, her Fanfic 'The Red means I Love you' is one of the best, most detailed slow-burn-pining-angsty-smutty-will-they-wont-they Masterpieces I've read so far. Alastor is magnificent and I guarantee you'll fall in love with Clover, the bunny who captures the heart of you deerest red demon.

@melodyonthewireless Highly underappreciated (imho), her fic "A Match made in Hell" (WIP) follows her OC Sybil down to hell, into the Hazbin Hotel and consecutively the arms of Alastor - but don't you dare underestimate the pink, harmless looking doe. Sybil's witch powers and her sassy, witty personality is quite the match to the established readio overlord. It's such a read, and the wait between chapters the sweetest agony!

@macabr3-barbi3 She delivers every. single. TIME. Her Short stories and One-Shots are like Pringles - Once you pop, you can't stop. I'm deeply in love with 'Dream a little Dream' (WIP), 'Nothing I can't Handle' (WIP) makes me run for a cold shower and did I mention the countless one-shot-candies that make you mouth water and your toes curl?

@slutforalastor/InconspicuousBosch on AO3 Whether it's the One-Shots on tumblr (omg the PRIEST ALASTOR BIT *fans face*) or the incredible Choose-your-Path-Fic "Say it with a smile" (completed) - you will be both amazed at the artistry of the wording and storybuilding and blushing at the sheer craft of the smut and sexual tension.

@impale-me-radio-daddy Founder of the kink #antlerplay, his series of 'The Lookalike' is steamy, outrageous, utterly magnificent and filthy down to the bones. Be prepared for some serious questioning of your own preferences, because you WILL get some epiphanies. And that's a PROMISE.

@hurthermore Listen. LISTEN. Bimbo is the mini-series that had me on a friggin CHOKEHOLD. It takes a special talent to make one so invested in THE radio demon, gentleman a la carte Alastor believably pining after and pounding a lovable, dumb airhead sinner with a fable for skimpy dresses and leave you at the end wanting for seconds and thirds!

As I said, this is a highly incomplete list, and I'll absolutely edit this list as I go. But I needed to put this out in the world. To all of the above, and all of those which I didn't include YET but most certainly will -

I ADORE YOU, I PRAY AT YOUR FEET, YOU ARE AMAZING BEINGS AND I LOVE YOU.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

*me hyperscrolling to find the first chapter of the fic while clearing my entire schedule to read it*

His Dear Synopsis

Residing in the beautiful, mysterious town of New Orleans was the famous radio host, Alastor Hartfelt and his wife, Y/N Hartfelt. They had the most perfect marriage anyone could ever dream of, and they were the most perfect couple that everyone wanted to be. Alastor was the man every lady wanted, and Y/N was the lady every man wanted. But little did the locals know, Alastor and his dear wife had a dark secret within the walls of their own home but they are able to successfully play it off as if they weren't crazy insane; They were typically the Bonnie and Clyde of New Orleans. Then, their death caught up with them quickly than they expected and death did do them apart but they joined each other in Hell, taking it over by storm.

"I love you dearly, ma cherie." he panted, making me blush under the full moon light that shone directly onto our bed. "And I love you, mon amour. Til all of the stars die." I whispered, locking eye contact with him. "Til the end of time." he smiled before leaning down to kiss me.

"The normals, they make me afraid The crazies, they make me feel sane

I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad The craziest friend that you've ever had You think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong Over the bend, entirely bonkers You like me best when I'm off my rocker Tell you a secret, I'm not alarmed So what if I'm crazy? The best people are All the best people are crazy"

Hope y'all enjoy the story idea so far, thank you for reading the synopsis! See you around shortly in chapter 1, xoxo!!! artist: unknown (it’s not my work)

(edit: Chapter 1 is now on the air, go check it out!!)