Yunloyal - Yu

𝘑𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝐹𝑖𝑐 𝑅𝑒𝑐𝑠

♡ Fluff || ୨୧ Angst || ★ Smut || ꗃ SMAU || ✦ One shot || ⌗ Series || ✿ Drabble || ♤ Mature (No smut) || ✹ Humor || ⸙ On hold ||

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Love café ♡ ୨୧ ★✦ -> @chocosvt

synopsis: while you’ve spent the last few months pretending the love café doesn’t exist, you realize you need its services now more than ever. this brings you face to face with jeonghan, the son of a luxury fashion designer who’s got money to burn. your exchanges are strictly business. until they’re not.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Miracle Bunny ♡୨୧★⌗⸙ -> @caramellohigh

synopsis: Minghao impulsively adopts a hybrid for you and you hate him for it. But after getting to know your new hybrid, you realized it wasn’t such a bad idea after all. You’ve gained a new friend, a companion and… perhaps more?

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ illicit whispers ♡★ -> @httphannie

summary: yoon jeonghan's wanted in almost every country but there's no denying that he's handsome so should it come as a surprise when you end up in his prison cell?

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ KIDULT ♡✹୨୧ -> @hvae

synopsis: jeonghan always believed he was never fond of children, especially when he took the job at your daycare. little did he know the child in him was playing hide and seek, finally revealing itself after growing to love the kids. oh, and you too

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ The selfish dilemma ♡୨୧★⌗ -> @joonsytip

Synopsis: It was love at first sight ever since you laid eyes on Jeonghan. To him, you are the annoying co-worker who keeps asking him out. No one is new to your courting agenda which only pisses off Jeonghan but what happens when you stop, all at once....

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ How to give a blowjob for dummies ♡୨୧★ -> @multiland

summary: your friendship with Jeonghan takes a turn the day the two of you cross the line when he decides to teach you how to give a blowjob, despite your promises of everything staying the same. Tired of waiting for him to acknowledge the elephant in the room, you decide to go on dates. Needless to say, he doesn't like it one bit.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ In her shadow ♡୨୧★⌗✹ -> @hoshzone

summary: you never were the one to fall in love but, just when you think you might’ve found the one, he turns out to be your estranged bitch of a sister’s fiancé. you and jeonghan both know better but, he can’t help but wish he’d met you first, thinking you’re a far better match for him than she’d ever be. #trusttheprocessordon’t…

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Little miss naughty ♡★ -> @hoshzone

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : not being able to wait until Jeonghan gets off the phone with Joshua, you decide it’d be a good idea to get yourself off on his thigh. He makes sure you pay for that.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Holidate ♡୨୧★ -> @onlymingyus

synopsis: It's only for a week, he's doing you a favor, and he's your fake boyfriend. Why do you have to keep reminding yourself of that?

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Fall back down to earth with you ♡୨୧ -> @97-liners

Synopsis: in which your manager, jeonghan, thinks it’ll be good publicity for you to date hollywood actor and notable heartthrob, joshua hong. of course, everything would be nice and easy if you ended up falling in love with your fake boyfriend joshua, but life is complicated, and your heart ends up pulling you in another direction completely.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Cigarettes and coffee ♡★୨୧ -> @gyukult

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Responsibly irresponsible: white shoes ♡୨୧ -> @twogyuu

Synopsis: Seemingly exciting at first, Jeonghan slowly comes to realize that being a dad is more than meets the eye, especially when he meets your mother (unexpectedly) for the first time. Did you mention? She doesn't know you're pregnant.

[ More Jeonghan fic recs will be updated ]

Want more Seventeen fic recs? -> Click Here

The Selfish Dilemma || Jeonghan - Part 2

Pairings: Jeonghan x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: It was love at first sight ever since you laid eyes on Jeonghan. To him, you are the annoying co-worker who keeps asking him out. No one is new to your courting agenda which only pisses off Jeonghan but what happens when you stop, all at once....

Word Count: 8k

Warnings (specific to this part): this part is SFW, pinning, lots of office jargons, profanity, tears, everyone is sad, redemption, Jeonghan turns into a love sick puppy, poor Seokmin again, wholesome co-workers Wonwoo, Soonyoung, Jihoon and Joshua, wholesome bestfriend Myeongho, wholesome Seungcheol makes an entry (lmk if I missed any)

Banner credits to my baby @hoeforhao <3

A/N: Thanks to all for showing immense love to the first part of the story. Though initially it was planned to be a twoshot but there's gonna be an Epilogue to this.

[SVT Masterlist] [SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist]

Please heart, comment and reblog, it would really help to keep me going <3

Teaser | Part 1

It's been a week since you started working from home.

Walking out of Jeonghan's cabin had lead you to knocking on your manager's. Mr. Choi, the old man was so worried on seeing your bloodshot eyes and deemed demeanor that as soon as you requested for a week's work from home, he approved it immediately, no questions asked.

It's boring, you'd admit but it's also helpful when you don't have to see Jeonghan's face everyday and sliding over the reject button doesn't really need any effort whenever he calls. His messages are stacking up in your inbox, unread.

Your heart is still hurting, mind is still clouded with the thoughts of that one man whom you love. However, staying at home, away from that ambience, gave you a lot of time to think.

And for the sake of your own peace, you're justifying him. Truth said, you were never lead on Jeonghan. Just brief eye contacts only when talking work. The guy known for having manner hands obviously had no touchy business with anyone except for the times when your clumsy legs slipped, he was somehow there to hold you, everytime. That's it.

Your mind is slowly taking over with rationality and the progress is good enough for you to pretend that you're unbothered when you go back to office next Monday.

Key word: Pretend. And maybe because you're a master in it, thanks to that, you aren't miserable.

Jeonghan is miserable. Because the moment he realises he's with love with you is the moment you're walking out.

He doesn't see you at office for a whole week. You always reject his calls, never respond back to the enormous amount of text he has been sending.

He looks so grief-stricken and he is. Aloofness is something in his nature that he can't do anything about. Always being used to scare people away with one sharp look, he was flabbergasted at your boldness and determination to win him over, which honestly had pissed him at first.

But as the days passed, the itchiness on hearing your voice faded, the furrow in his brows stopped appearing and his heart vacuumed out in his chest whenever he sensed your presence.

He ignored it, all of it because he was sure office romances, well any of sort romantics wasn't for him, proof his last relationship, which had undoubtedly left him scarred and cautious. He has moved on long back and getting adjusted to loneliness shouldn't be a big deal when it always returns to him.

He has been afraid because as you said no one would take his shit, people would leave him one day and he'd just be a spectator at the sidelines holding himself, only having him as his own to pick up the scattered pieces.

When you had joined first, in official terms you were Yoora's replacement. When you started courting him, Jeonghan's mind squared back, afraid of history repeating itself. But he soon realised he was wrong, you weren't Yoora's replacement, you were you and so much more that. You were filling in the cracks formed on his heart with patience, persistency and love. So to save himself from dipping deeper, to save another heartbreak he rooted to his indifference agenda towards you. He chose to ignore his own feelings, chose not to seek answers until it to came down to this.

Turns out by turning you down he wasn't avoiding the inevitable, his heart did break afterall. He wonders how did you handle so many rejections when his gut is withering just from lack of your attention.

Mondays are always blue, but for you it's bluer. Because you know Jeonghan's gonna not let you have it your way.

Till now it's all good, you haven't seen Jeonghan yet. He has already been cooped up in his cabin when you arrived at your desk, he hasn't yet come out of that room once and it's lunchtime.

Chaein doesn't allow anyone else to sit beside you, that's her seat as she claims, "Gosh, I've missed you so much Y/N. It's so difficult to deal with these dumbos without you."

Joshua and Soonyoung gasp in unison.

Seokmin just smiles, he's happy to have you back. But that smile doesn't reach his eyes and you notice that he's unusually quiet. Taking a mental note you corner him later you resume eating. Amidst the chatting and teasing, your eyes stray away searching for that one person.

"He doesn't come here for lunch since last week.", Seokmin says dryly, eyes on the plate, hand which is holding the fork stabbing that poor broccoli. There's no hiding away, you know that Seokmin can read you like an open book.

It's evening and you're mentally preparing yourself because you've to get your design document of a product to be reviewed by Jeonghan. Taking a deep breath you knock on the cabin door. A faint 'come in' reaches your ears and you're suddenly panicking. However, another deep breathe calms you a bit.

Upon entering, the first thing you notice is obviously Jeonghan but what concerns you is his unkempt apperance. The man who falls under the dapper category looked so lost, so deemed. You wonder how could a week do so many changes to a man. Large bags under his eyes, hairs dishevelled, potential weight loss and the list continues.

Jeonghan had been walking on eggshells, even when not around you. He arrived early to office on purpose, avoided crossing the threshold of his cabin and had his curtain blinds rolled over just to not cause you any inconveniences.

He does this because he's scared. What if you see his face and decide to extend your work from home or press on the transfer application. What if he gets to see you lesser and lesser until to the point he doesn't see you at all.

Yes, he's a overthinker.

But he's often taking a peak at you from the gaps of those blinds. You, sitting at your desk, pivoting your full concentration at whatever is there on the screen has Jeonghan admitting that this is the most gratifying sight for him, recently.

"H-How are you?", he avoids eye contact and asks so quietly that you that almost miss it.

The concern for him within you never receded so before you could comprehend the question slips out from your mouth, "Did you have lunch yet?"

Jeonghan's gaze whips at you in shock. Shocked because inspite of everything you're still looking out for him, he's also relieved because of same.

"I'll grab something later--"

"It's almost evening Jeonghan, you shouldn't be needing anyone to fill you about your health and eating habits.", you say sternly, "Anyways it's upto you. I just came to get the document reviewed."

You take the seat opposite to him and just as you were about to speak, he beats you.

"Will you go out with me?"

You are choking on air, eyes round as saucers, almost jabbing your ears in case you're hearing everything wrong.

Jeonghan thinks his heart could burst in chest any moment, it wasn't the plan to ask you so abruptly, then again when has Jeonghan did the right thing at the right time.

"Yes.", you say nonchalantly, out of anger, out of spite and out of hurt. You're in disbelief of his audacity to mock your feelings again, that he's the same selfish prick you've known.

Jeonghan thinks this time he's hearing you wrong, so he gapes at you.

"I can go out of this cabin with or without you.", you continue, lips curled up in mockery, "For all other places, it's a no."

Jeonghan slumps back a little, what did he expect.

He nods and you resume to brief him on the design model. Once done, you're walking out. As your hands hover over the handle of the door, he calls your name.

"Do you hate me?", you hear him ask.

You don't turn back when you say, "Yes.", and walk out.

Jeonghan wonders if the first one hurts like hell, how will he handles the others and he hasn't even started.

The whole office is murmuring. But what all can be prominently heard are gasps and breath hitches.

The reason, Yoon Jeonghan. The man who's always wearing staple colours and long coats is donning a scarlet satin shirt paired with a high waist tailored pant today.

A chic office attire to suffice it subtly. And people are finding it impossible to take eyes off him.

"Woah, what's the occasion?", Jihoon asks Soonyoung, the two standing by the entrance on hearing the mild commotion.

Soonyoung scoffs, "Isn't it pretty obvious? Y/N's the occasion.", he is utterly pissed because all he could think about is his dear friend Seokmin and the zero progress made on his end.

You have just settled on your chair, almost exhausted even before the day started because of the scorching heat draining your the energy.

Taking your phone out, you are putting your work playlist on when you sense something vibrant from the periphery of your vision.

Head up, your eyes go wide, mouth agape on seeing Jeonghan walking through the door. Your favourite colour on him makes no sense at all when you could think that it has been all wrong, no one had ever did the minimum justice to that colour.

Jeonghan's gaze perks up at you, lips curled up in a triumphant smile. He watches as you legit choke on air, eyes locked on him. He saunters to your desk and says, "I've never worn something like this to office before, does it look okay?"

Your mind squares to zero as it produces absolutely nothing. Blinking owlishly at him, you somehow manage to give him a nod. When Jeonghan enters his cabin you slump on the chair, pinching the bridge of your nose because you're sure that you're gonna get a nosebleed today.

And then the torment starts. You are getting called by Jeonghan frequently and everytime he demands your attention you're finding it difficult to maintain an eye contact with him.

"So which model are we going to approach, Y/N?", Jeonghan knowingly puts you to test.

"We are going with A.", you say uncertainly as you look up at him.

Jeonghan bites back the smile, "I thought we decided to go with B?"

Your eyes widen and you're mumbling an apology, "Sorry, yes. I'll setup a meet with my team and come up with possible queries pertaining to it."

Jeonghan nods and you take it as a que to leave.

"Will you go out with me?", your hear him ask.

"No.", you're amazed how it naturally slips out of your mouth and wonder if someday you'd actually mean it for real, not out of hurt or spite.

"Do you hate me?"

You sigh and look away before muttering a 'yes'.

You are aware very well that Jeonghan's attire for the day is of your likes. While you wonder how he knows about your favourite colour, Jeonghan reminiscence why whenever he sees anything in the shades of red, you cross his mind.

"Oh my god! Taylor is re-recording my favourite album of hers.", you squeal out scrolling through your tumblr feeds and look at Jeonghan, "Red will always be superior because those tracks build me in a way and it's my favourite colour as well."

You fill in Jeonghan at the lunch knowing he won't lend an ear to your words. But you've developed this habit and you like to do it anyways.

Jeonghan misses your monologues so he avoids going to canteen for lunch because it hits him how lonely he'll always be and the image of the empty seat in front confirms it. He never responded, never heard but he always listened.

Also, that wasn't the only evidence, the colour of your car, to the frame of the family photo on your desk to your earpods, to the souvenirs you've bought or showed him, to the nail paints you'd put on, they're all something in the shades of red.

It did leave Jeonghan amused as well when he realized he remembers all of this. Like his heart, his brain too by hearts anything and everything related to you and he doesn't need to be genius anymore to know the reason.

He watches you leave but a small smile sets on his lips because today he realised he still has that effect on you so he wishes he can make the thwarting from your end to cease soon.

You wanna make him wear his heart on sleeves and he's willing do it just for you.

Seokmin is done for the day and he plans to drop by the grocery store since he's running out of stock. Just as he enters the parking lot, he finds you leant against his car door.

You wave hands at him and he gives you a small smile.

"I thought you left.", he comments casually, hands searching inside the bag for the car keys.

"I was waiting for you, we need to talk.", you sound so serious that Seokmin halts his actions and looks at you alarmingly.

And his eyes urges you to speak further.

"Not here definitely.", your eyes scan around as you speak, "Do you have other plans tonight?"

Seokmin nods, "I have a friend to meet.", he lies and then proceeds to tell his actual plan, "also have to do some grocery shopping."

You nod dejected, "Okay, then. Let me know when you're ready to talk, I feel there's a shift in our dynamics and I'm afraid that I might have done something wrong unintentionally."

You don't wait for this response as you walk out of the lane leaving Seokmin frozen. He didn't think you'd have time from thinking over Jeonghan to focus on something that's related to him. He never thought you'd notice.

Now, he feels sorry when he sees your slouched demeanor, how did he end up adding more to your plate when you're already brimming.

So he decides to do both of you a favour.

Next day at lunch, you are eating quietly with Chaein gushing in about the hot and also smart guy she went on a date with when someone unpleasant suddenly crosses your mind.

"Where's Seonji? I haven't seen her since I started working from office again."

Joshua's bambi eyes widened more when he realises he had missed to spill this tea to you, "About that...", he takes the weightage when your undivided attention pivots on him, "Remember that day at the cafeteria when she intended to claim that she would be dating Jeonghan? So after you left, Jeonghan warned her about reporting to HR and when she failed some submissions by EOD, he immediately reported to her manager and had her removed from the team."

"Not gonna lie, he's damn scary. Remember how he berated me that day, what a meanie, I could still cry thinking about it.", Chaein claims and shrugs as she throws you a knowing look, "I've heard that he has had over three women reported to the HR department because they over stepped the boundaries they should never as a colleague."

"Since he's behaving out of character for the past days, I realised that apart from the indifference, I've never seen him being a scrooge to you actually.", Joshua almost talks over Chaein, "Rather he always seems to casual, if I might add, comfortable whenever around you. I don't know how it was at the beginning, this is what it has been since I've joined."

"That's what. Jeonghan is scary to everyone. And since he started pulling whatever shit nowadays, he is only doing it for Y/N and he has done it for no one else ever.", Chaein claims.

You gape at the two faces mutely before asking, "Is Jeonghan paying you both for saying this?"

Chaein rolls her eyes. Joshua snorts.

You turned to your last resort, the man whose sole focus is whatever on his plate, calmly eating which makes you doubt if he is even aware of any the conversation that's taking place around him.

"Jihoon", you try to gain his attention and when the said man looks at you with the most neutral expression, you know it's useless but still you tell him anyways, "These two", you point at Joshua and Chaein, "are potentially fraternising with my enemy. But I can trust you right?"

"We're not Y/N.", Chaein chimes in, "and after witnessing everything, we'd never support Jeonghan. It's just... we spoke out our minds."

Jihoon stares at Chaein, at Joshua and then at you, mutely, making the three of you anxious.

"Honestly I'm not at all amused at Jeonghan.", he says and before anyone of you could intercept he continues, "Because you were the one I was amused at, it was beyond my comprehension how persistent you were when he didn't even bat an eyelash at you. If you could show persistence, I believe Jeonghan could also show.... what I'm guessing is redemption. We all have different mechanism. We all work differently."

You gulp nervously at his words but an assuring pat from Jihoon washes the weariness away.

"But at the end of the day, it's you and your validations. If you think he's gimmicking slap him accross. If you think he's sincere, give him a chance at explaining. If you think he had made you suffer enough, either don't waste another ink of thought on him or return all those sufferings to him before allowing him to do anything else.", he wiping the corners of his lips with the tissue and getting up, "That's what. At the end, it should be you. How you treat Jeonghan should come from within you, not me, not anyone else, no third party opinion should matter unless you want to adhere onto some."

And when Jihoon walks out leaving you speechless, Chaein squeals, "And what if I develop a crush on Jihoon because of the damn clear headed man he is?"

"Then you'll have me as your competition.", Joshua quips back instantly and though you don't react, you relate to both of them. His words ring in your head and suddenly you're feeling dizzy.

When you return to your desk, as always a red rose awaits you in the vase and as always you never have the heart to throw it away, so it stays because you know Jeonghan's gonna replace it the next day.

He is always waiting for you at the entrance nowadays and even all you do is wryly greet him out of courtesy he follows you like a puppy.

"Good morning Y/N. Did you sleep well yesterday? There's going to be fest, do you wanna go, I can try to get the tickets even though there's a huge demand...."

While the security gives you both a meaningful look, now that the roles have reversed. He glares at them and proceeds with his attempts of small talks even without getting a response as if he's talking to himself until you halt at your desk and he halts on his words followed by a 'have a nice day' before entering his cabin.

It's intriguing how a man could self sabotage his dear vehicle often because most of the days he says his car is given for servicing or the tyres are punctured, flat out so he could ride home with you, albeit to spend some extra time with you in solace.

"Why is there no traffic today?", Jeonghan says dejected and doesn't realise he has let out his thoughts a little too loud.

"What?", you turn to side, just to glare at him when you see the man sitting beside you practically freeze.

"I-I mean, there's a lot of traffic generally but it's a lot less today... It's a g-good thing..."

"Do you want me as your designated driver now because at this rate I'm driving you home almost everyday.", the words come out of your mouth harsher than intended, "You don't have anyone else to put you through right?"

Jeonghan has his eyes wide in horror and he blurts out a no, "Please that's not my intention. I-I'm sorry for making you feel this way. I-I'll stop. You can pull over. I'll get off and take a taxi from here."

You don't do so and also feel bad when he goes mute throughout the rest of the ride.

You find it funny how Jeonghan is never subtle about his business with you. People who see you two would believe that he's courting you and if you didn't know him better you'd think that he's in love with you.

But that's what, you do know him so you know his motive could be anything but love.

Jeonghan's mind is filled with all the things he had been trying to get your attention and how he failed in all of them.

He is frustrated throughout as the days pass by and that seeps into him deeper today so much that he's sobbing when he punches the passcode of his house.

He's worried about the sincerity which either he's not able to express or you're not being able to see, rightfully. He has thought of confessing his feelings several times but he knows by doing that now, he'd gonna loose you faster, you're never gonna believe him because you don't trust him anymore.

He walks in, sets his bag and gets the scare of his life when the lights turn on and he hears someone.

"I thought I'd never get to see you. Do you always work this late? I got bored waiting, so made myself something barely edible because you're fridge needs restock--"

When their gaze meet, Jeonghan's teary eyes cuts off the one speaking.

"Cheol...", Jeonghan sounds so defeated as he stays rooted to the place, gaze dropped, calling out his best friend's name. Seungcheol nearly freezes, but next he's running to Jeonghan, pulling him into a hug.

"Hey, it's okay.", Seungcheol gently caresses his back, keeping his own shock at bay because it's rare to see his friend crying. In the span of seventeen years of their friendship, he has seen Jeonghan cry only once and now it's the second time he's witnessing it.

After he calms down, Seungcheol asks, "Do you wanna talk about it?". Jeonghan just nods but doesn't say anything so Seungcheol waits.

"I'm in love, Cheol...", and this is how Jeonghan starts and vents out anything and everything he thinks he need to let his best friend know.

All Seungcheol does is give him a smile and that sets Jeonghan really off.

"Seriously? You're smiling?"

Phone calls or facetimings aren't the things that work with Jeonghan, particularly. So it's always Seungcheol who's calling him to get updates from him, very well knowing that he is only termed 'close' friend Jeonghan has and even though he never admits but Jeonghan always looks forward to get his calls.

"Thought you were dead. Didn't take you the kind to control your urge of disturbing my peace for a whole month."

Seungcheol could hear the gruffness from the other side and he answers with a laugh, "It wouldn't actually kill you to admit that you were so worried that you dropped me a text and you actually missed me."

"Whatever floats your boat."

Seungcheol knows about you, ofcourse through Jeonghan's words as an annoying colleague who kept asking him out. And so does Seungcheol know that you maybe not be actually annoying, that you must be someone special to Jeonghan for him to mention you in almost every call he had with his keeper, his best friend.

"Are you sure, you hate this Y/N? Because you never fail to mention her... It's just you don't bring up anyone this often."

"Uh puh-lease, I'm allowed to rant about something that irks me and you've no choice but to listen."

Often termed as tsundere and ignored by people partly because of the aloof aura he emitted, it was the same factor for which Seungcheol found Jeonghan intriguing and as adament he was on being friends with him, he actually achieved it.

So whenever he heard about you, he always got reminded of himself.

"You should have called me, Han--"

"But you were out of country for the conference, I didn't wanna bother you--"

"Nonsense.", Seungcheol scoffs, "So it took her to walk out on you, for you to realise that you're in love with her. That's so typical of you."

Jeonghan sighs and his lips sets out in a pout as he rants further, "I'm such an idiot. That day she was having a headache so I made her a cup of black coffee but...", his eyes are set on his fingers those are drawing random pattern on the fabric of the pants he's wearing, "I could see that she was looking forward to having it. And after she took the first sip, her face literally fell."

Jeonghan gets teary again on reminiscing the memory again,"I had put two spoons of sugar because I thought it turned a lot bitter but that's how she'd would have liked it.", then he looks at Seungcheol, "I know how dampening a wrong coffee could get you but she didn't scold me whereas if it would have been me, I'd given shit to anyone who would have gotten my coffee wrong. She always knew my preferences and likes but me...", he exhales sharply, "I know nothing compared to that. I can't even get her coffee right. I really don't deserve her."

Seungcheol's heart pains seeing his best friend in this plight. He hopes you're just going through a phase because he knows apart from him, you're the only one who actually didn't cower away from Jeonghan because of his cold exterior.

"Did you confess to her?", Seungcheol asks.

Jeonghan shakes his head, "I want to but... She won't believe me and I-I think she hates me enough, I don't wanna add to it."

"Are you serious right now?", Seungcheol chuckles in disbelief, "Imagine yourself being in her shoes once. You confess to someone everyday, only to get rejected every single time and suddenly when you decide to stop pursuing him, he's doing questionable things for you which is all new to you and what would it feel like--", he walks up to where Jeonghan is seated and crouches, "It would be confusing, it would hurt you because all you could think about is why he would be doing all this, what can his motive be."

Jeonghan's eyes widen as the realisation gnaws on him. He stiffens for some moments. His gaze drops as he speaks, "And she'd never think that it all might be out of longing and love because all I've given her is 'I hate yous' but never a single 'I love you'."

"So she needs to know that, Han. You need to confess, and we both know believing is hard on her part. So that's on you, to pursue her, to make her believe that your feelings are sincere because for the past years she has been doing it everyday, without a fail.", Seungcheol pats on his arms, "Bare yourself out infront of her, keep trying but stop when you think it's time."

Jeonghan's eyes are twinkling with new found hope now, all thanks to his best friend.

"How long are you planning to stay here?", Jeonghan asks, "You're out by tomorrow right?"

Seungcheol tsks, "This is what I get for being the best friend. How disappointing."

"I'm hungry, make me something.", Jeonghan is back to his unbothered self as if a switch is flipped, "And also, don't you dare to sneak into my bed later, I'll kick you out."

Seungcheol feigns hurt and gives him the biggest puppy eyes, "You know I need to hug someone when I sleep--"

"I have given you extra pillows for some reason--"

"But they're not as cuddly as you, Han.--"

"Get yourself a partner, gosh. And spare me."

"About that, I went on a date the day before yesterday and--"

"I'm not interested Cheol. I'm hungry. Give me food."

"It's your birthday next week and you won't be getting any gift from me for being shitty."

The banter ends at midnight with Seungcheol sneaking into the bed when Jeonghan is awake but good news, he doesn't gets kicked out of the bed.

Seokmin is finally ready to have a heart to heart time with you.

When he proactively texted you this instance, you immediately invited him to your house to talk over dinner in hopes to mend any mistakes you made, in hopes to reunite with your same old dearest Seokmin.

But you notice him being oddly quiet today as he has been for the past few days. The Seokmin who always talks animatedly is not uttering a word unless it's a reply to a question coming from you.

You hand him the ice cream bowl while he's seated on your couch and you take the seat on the opposite end.

"So are we going to address the elephant in the room?", your gaze is fixed on your bowl when you speak.

Seokmin's head whips in your direction and he thinks it's now or never. He had headed out to your place with only one motive, that is to get the weight off his chest, that is to confess.

"Did I do something to hurt you?", you ask in a small voice, "I know I can be really thick headed and I'm really sorry if I have hurt you, just know whatever it was, it was unintentional."

Seokmin's heart constricts looking at your sincere eyes, hearing you spill apologies without being at fault, knowing that you truly treasure him.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe before opening them only to meet your uncertain gaze.

"I have something to say to you", when he says this, he could feel his heart now thumping vigorously within his chest, beads of sweat forming on his forehead even in the air conditioned room.

You get up and shift to sit beside him. Seokmin thinks the whisk of your scent is overwhelming and the proximity is making his stomach churn.

"Seokmin--"

"I love you, Y/N. I've loved you for long now."

You freeze. Seokmin halts. The hands of the clock moves but time doesn't pass by.

"I'm sorry...", that's the first thing you blurt out and Seokmin smiles.

"It's not you fault Y/N. You've been so in love with Jeonghan that everyone around you faded into the background because all you could focus on was him.", Seokmin bites his tongues to stop those tears pooling in his eyes from falling, "Maybe because you love so openly and I'm exactly the opposite, you could never relate to me."

"That's not it, Seokmin.", your hands itch to hold his but you don't know if you could do that anymore because you think you've hurt him enough, "You're a good guy Min, too good to be true. But how could I have known that whenever you comforted me, you also needed to be comforted. You didn't have to be so cruel on yourself, when I couldn't pick myself up, you shouldn't have been the one to always pick me up, you should have let others do that."

Seokmin lets out a sob and he's choking out the words, "Y-You know it's impossible when you're in love. You should be knowing this when you're... you're going through this as well. And I'm sorry for bringing this up at a time like this but trust me--"

His words halt again when you embrace him tight and place his head on your shoulders, one hand stroking his hair, another caressing his back, "You brought this up because it was constricting your breathes. You brought this up when you were at the edge, when you couldn't hold it in anymore. Thanks for putting yourself before me, this one time. You shouldn't be apologizing when you did nothing wrong."

Your voice cracks when you say, "I can't reciprocate your feelings Min because I'm trying to get over someone I love. I don't want to give you false hope. You don't deserve to be someone's replacement or rebound. All you deserve is the best."

Seokmin's sobs doesn't tend to cease and he is fisting the fabric of your shirt, "Why did you have to be so understanding? Why didn't you just shout at me or kick me out of your house? How do I move on Y/N? How do I get rid of this habit of loving you?"

This time you're choking a sob, "If I knew the answers to the question, trust me my life would have been a lot easier. I'm a sufferer too, Min."

You pull away and wipe his tears with gentle hands and he does the same to you. Now that he is looking at you, you wonder how you missed the love he's radiating for you all this time. You wonder what if it was Seokmin instead of Jeonghan whom you loved.

But all those what's and if's wouldn't mean anything now. Your heart is breaking because out of all things, you never thought you would be the one to massively hurt Seokmin.

Seokmin knew that this would be the outcome. But what pierces his heart into pieces is the way you're blaming yourself, even though it's no one's fault.

Feelings can't be controlled. The heart wants what it wants.

A tap on his arm pivots his attention back to the present. His eyes dart on you as he waits for you.

"Listen to me carefully, this is for you. What do you want me to do for you now?"

Seokmin shots you a confusing look.

"I mean, I'd understand if you don't want to see me for the time being, I'll try not to show up in front of you during the the office hours. If you wanna cut contact, do it, go ahead and block me. Do whatever you feel like doing but promise me you'd come back, I'm sorry if I'm being selfish here, I treasure you too much to loose you."

Seokmin looks dead in your eyes that actually scares you for a moment.

"Don't be ridiculous.", He scolds you, "And don't even thinking of pulling any of those stunts you just mentioned. I'll be okay. We'll be okay."

You heave in relief and Seokmin smiles.

Though you are reluctant to let Seokmin drive back home given the condition, he persists he'll be fine. So you feed him some more ice cream, engage him in small talks and hug him one more time before he's out of the threshold of your house.

When Seokmin walks to where his car is parked he's shocked to see Wonwoo and Soonyoung waiting for him.

"What are you both doing here?", he asks.

"Y/N had texted us.", Wonwoo says as he fished out his car keys, "I'll drive you home."

"And I'll drive your car to your home.", Soonyoung holds his hand flat asking for the car keys, "Then Wonwoo will drop me off, in case you're still curious."

Seokmin is stunned but nonetheless hands him the keys. He now gets why were you so stubborn on feeding him icecream and even engaging in small random talks, it was all to buy some time.

"We can stay if you want us to.", Wonwoo offers and Soonyoung nods. And Seokmin feels his heart is swelling too tight within his chest.

He looks at both of them, thinks of you and smiles in gratitude.

Jeonghan knocks on your desk as soon as he passes by meaning he wants you in and enters his cabin.

You are already emotionally and mentally drained for not getting proper sleep since Seokmin's confession episode happened. Today is particularly exhausting for some reason and you even considered taking the day off but that important client meeting had your feet dragged to the office premise.

"Y/N, I need to tell you something.", Jeonghan says when you enter and gestures you to take a seat.

"Look, I'm really exhausted. If it's something related to work then go ahead otherwise let's keep it shelved for now.", you say sharply.

Jeonghan doesn't let your words sting much and continues, "Are you okay? If you want some rest, you can use my restroom."

You chuckle, "It's really tempting when I have this killing headache but no, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. They're already having ridiculous speculations. Thanks for offering though."

"What speculations?", Jeonghan asks genuinely confused.

"You're really gonna make me say it?", you roll eyes and when you're met by his curious gaze you sigh.

"They think you're courting me. Some are even saying that you're in love with me.", you laugh dryly.

"And what if it's true?", Jeonghan says pacing away and locking the door. He comes back and places both his hands on the armrests, hovering over you.

Your eyes blow wide at the proximity and mind almost short circuits at his question.

"C-Can you shift back a bit?", you are literally stumbling upon your words, "I-It's suffocating."

However, Jeonghan has no intention of doing so, rather he inches closer and says, "You didn't answer me, what if those speculations are true?"

This time you scoff, "You can fool all those people out there but you can't fool me. Because I know how much you hate me so... coming to that, I was meaning to ask you, about your motive. Why are you pulling all those acts?"

Jeonghan knows that he'd face this question so he answers honestly, "There's only one motive Y/N. I know you'd find it hard to believe but listen carefully to what I'm gonna say now."

A moment passes by and you wait but with no eagerness. He knows that office is not a right place to confess when you both are clogged into the working hours. He knows you deserve a lot more than this but he's afraid that he doesn't start now, it'll be late.

So he does it anyways, "I love you, Y/N. And that's the only motive. It's love."

He continues, "I'd admit that I found you annoying when you started asking me out but that annoyance gradually faded. I got used to your affection and caring. I liked the essence of you. Office wasn't boring, I wasn't lonely anymore because I had you. I had realised long before that it wasn't hate as what I used to say, you are that flower that blossomed through the cracks of heart by nurturing it with love and care. And before I could actually realize my true feelings, I started reciprocating yours. I am in love with you."

You are absolutely frozen and next, Jeonghan is panicking when he sees the tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.

"You!", you are fuming in rage as you hit his chest, "Such a jerk!", another hit, "Still making fun of my feelings", another one, "using it against me", and he is encasing your hands within his when you say, "Why are you so cruel? Why don't you admit that you don't actually love me but you love the feeling of having someone pinning on you."

"W-What?", Jeonghan feels insulted, his hands are leaving yours and he's pulling back, now standing strout in front of you, "No. No Y/N, you can't just deduct conclusions for yourself, you can't make assumptions for me. You can't validate how I feel! That's so wrong!"

His eyes peer down at you, "How long have you known me Y/N? How well do you know me?"

His question catches you off guard.

Your tear soaked lashes blink at him owlishly. Just as you open your mouth, he interrupts you, "Think about all the time you've spent with me.  Since the day we met to till date. If you know me well you'll get the answer yourself."

Jeonghan suddenly crouches infront of you. Next, he's wiping your tears with his thumbs and stroking your hair with hesitancy at first and when you don't retort he continues doing so while looking at you with those soft almond eyes.

"Please don't cry, don't waste your tears on me cause I'm not worth of those.", he pleads eyes turning grim, "Seeing you cry, breaks my heart."

And that's what you've known about him. Though he could always pull a poker face effortlessly, his eyes give away the emotions.

Like now, those orbs are radiating warmness and endearment.

"If you're feeling unwell, please take the day off. I'll handle the client meeting.", he requests but you're already spilling out protests.

"No. I know how strenuous and lengthy these meetings can be and like last time I can't let you take that--."

"I love you."

Your eyes go wide again and Jeonghan lets out a chuckle.

"Get used to it because like you..", he drawls the words, "I can be very persistent.", and smiles while stroking your hair, "I'll keep trying until you see how sincere my feelings are for you."

And you don't like how loud your heart is thumping at his words.

Currently you're at home, earlier than the time estimated because luckily, the client meeting got cancelled.

It's also a relief that your headache has subsided because you need time. Time to think, time to comprehend everything and time to collect your thoughts.

Jeonghan is a man of few words, it's his actions those are always loud. He knows that a line should never be crossed. He knows when and where to draw a boundary.

And you know what he's doing is completely his personal business because he doesn't care what others think, doesn't entertain his space being invaded by others. You know because that's how Jeonghan is, added to it some of the instances that you had witnessed.

Your mind reels back to when Chaein decided to be a little bold. It was during lunch oneday when Jeonghan decided to visit the canteen which he rarely did nowadays. Not wanting to interrupt your lunch and relax session with your group, even though a seat beside you was empty, he occupied the table adjacent to yours and kept eating quietly, throwing glances at you every now and then.

"That's enough, we should know what's his deal is.", Chaein suddenly claims with newfound confidence, "I'm gonna ask him what he's actually trying to pull."

You and Soonyoung gape at her shocked.

"That's Jeonghan, Chae. Do you not have any fear for your dear life?", Joshua quips dramatically but with concern.

Chaein doesn't bother to lend ear to anyone's comments or your protests.

"Hey Jeonghan", she calls him out and when the said man looks at her she continues, "What are you trying to do these days? Do you have feelings for Y/N or what?"

The condescending look that Jeonghan gave her, spiked shivers within everyone who saw it, including you.

"Seo Chaein", you could see him seething, "I don't understand how this concerns you. Are you Y/N's newly appointed spokesperson, if so then are you getting paid well?", his lips curl in a smirk, "Or is this a habit of yours, being unnecessarily nosy in others business."

He doesn't wait for any retorts, he just leaves. And the rest of you are left consoling the teary Chaein.

You are shrugging off the not so pleasant memory when you receive a text from Jeonghan.

Not a new occurance, he is very punctual in sending you texts, absolute random texts.

And today, he has sent you snap. Your eyes go wide like saucers when you download the image, it's a screenshot of Taylor's speak now re-recording announcement of her recent Instagram post.

Before you could actually comprehend, your fingers are texting back a 'what!! are you serious rn?'

And then you're banging your head on the pillow.

Jeonghan thinks he's hallucinating when his phone dinges a notification of your name. He types back a quick 'yes' and an 'i love you' in a response and now he's giggling like a teenager in love, rolling on the bed, kicking blankets and throwing fists in air.

Seungcheol who had stopped by his door to ask him something, eyes him in horror, thinking at first that his dear friend is possessed but a moment later he guesses the reason correctly. Also he's quick to record the moment for personal reference.

"Did Y/N finally respond back?", Seungcheol ask and lets out a laugh when Jeonghan practically freezes.

He's poised and all stoic in a no time as he sits up in his bed and gives a nod before asking, "What do you want?"

Seungcheol doesn't bother to ask anything, he just sends the video to Jeonghan and sprints back to the guest room.

The colours of his face drain when he watches the video and next, he is banging on the door yelling, "Choi Seungcheol, you're dead if you don't delete that video right now!", he bangs harder, "Yah! Seungcheol open this goddamn door!"

Inside the room, Seungcheol is snickering while putting on the headphones, that video obviously stays.

"That haircut suits you.", Chaein says as she takes the seat beside him.

Seokmin smiles, "Oh, thank you. I wasn't sure how it would turn out."

"Come on, you're damn gorgeous. Anything would suit you.", she speaks out nonchalantly as a matter of fact causing the man being spoke out turn into a brighter shade of red.

"How have you been?", she asks and Seokmin understands the insinuation.

"Well, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. To be honest I feel empty because I've been holding it in me so long and now that I've let it all out, it's not as painful, just the emptiness settling it. I'd gradually move on. Y/N is helping me a lot, sounds funny right but she is. And so is Soonyoung and Wonwoo."

Chaein pats on his back, giving a proud smile, "You're doing great and remember you have me as well, Min. Please reach out to me anytime you feel like."

"Thanks Chae, much appreciated."

"I was planning to ask everyone for dinner after work.", she says, "You were always the one to initiate those but nowadays we don't go out much as a group and I really miss our eat-outs."

Seokmin feels bad and realizes that things need to get back to normal because that's how he and everyone stays happy.

"We're going out to our usual restaurant tonight.", he announces and is quickly texting the same words in the group chat, "I'll pull in everyone including, Wonwoo. Who doesn't come without a valid reason, gets kicked out of the group."

Chaein lets out a hearty laugh.

Myeongho glares at the man seated in front of him, in his house. The man in front almost cowers away because of the apparent daggers your best friend is shooting at him with his eyes.

"We can't accept this.", Myeongho says eyeing hamper that Jeonghan has bought with him, "Why are you here?", he interrogates, tone too loud which prompts his wife Miso to put a 'tone it down' hand on his shoulder.

Jeonghan thinks whatever he's doing today is absolutely abrupt because first, shows up at Myeongho's house unannounced. Second, if you haven't told him yet then he's gonna reveal his feelings for you to him. Third, well he'll get to that.

When Myeongho says he already had a call with you and he knows, Jeonghan thinks it's time to come clean about his intentions.

So he does, he explains everything, every thought process he went through over the course of time he has known you. How his feelings changed over time, how his perception graded as the time went by. And finally, how he went from hating to sickeningly loving you.

He is so detailed even when verbally exhibiting the timelines of all the realisations those had hit him, that it leaves Myeongho and Miso are stunned.

"Jeonghan", Miso manages to speak, "Why?", she pauses before continuing, "What are you here? What's the meaning of you explaining all this to us?"

Jeonghan smiles, the one that could sooth a heart, "Myeongho has been her best friend since childhood. And you, Miso, I remember her telling once that she doesn't have to worry about Myeongho anymore because he has you. She trust you both with each other and more than that she considers you as her family. She's so excited for the little one, she's used to mention it almost everyday. I wonder who's she sharing her day to day chimes with."

The tears those pricks at the corners of her eyes, Miso blames them on the pregnancy hormones.

"And her family deserves to know that the guy who's courting her inhibits no malicious intentions towards her. I really love her.", Jeonghan sounds sullen when he speaks further, "I know I don't deserve her after all the things I've put her through, but I wish to make up to her no matter how long it takes only if she's willing to give me a chance."

Jeonghan doesn't like how vulnerable love has made him because nowadays, he can't speak of you without getting teary, like now.

Myeongho heaves a sigh. He observes Jeonghan carefully and is even shocked when he notices him trying to wipe his tears discreetly.

"When she used to say that you are a good man, that only your exterior is tough, I used to disregard her saying she's saying this just to defend you, just because she's in love with you.", Myeongho gives a small smile, "But now I could see that she really saw you for who you are. It's upto her, whether she'll accept you or not, but better make up for all the hurt you caused her."

"We're rooting for you.", Miso adds lightly.

Jeonghan's chest swells at their words and just as he's about to leave, Myeongho stops and hugs him. That's when he thinks he has got all the support he needs.

"What's going on here?"

Everyone freezes when they hear your voice.

"What are you doing here Jeonghan?", you walk upto where they're stood.

"He just came to say hi.", Myeongho blurts out hurriedly.

You take a glance at the three faces swiftly, "Okay. Have fun, sorry to interrupt."

Then you're walking out. Myeongho and Miso gives Jeonghan a pleading look and Jeonghan nods before chasing you.

A hand wraps around your wrist and suddenly you're pulled back to his chest. Jeonghan takes the chance to snake his arms around you.

"What are you doing? Unhand me now.", you say, trying to wriggle out of his embrace, which only makes him engulf you in tighter.

"I don't want to.", he says, "Not until you listen to  what I've to say."

Your gaze sweep across and you hiss, "People are watching Jeonghan."

"You know that I never cared about what others think right?", he dips down low so that you could feel his breathes fanning over.

"If you're trying to kiss me then don't.", you whisper.

"I'm not.", he grins mischievously, "It's not that I get to admire you so closely often."

"Who knew you could be this cheeky?", you roll eyes at him, "So won't you tell me what you were doing at my best friends house?"

"I'll tell you that later. And please don't get mad at them, they didn't even know that I was gonna drop by today."

You finally manage to get out of his grip, "Okay fine."

Jeonghan pouts but being good at reflex he gets hold of your hands and says "Since tomorrow is my birthday, can I request something?"

Ofcourse you remember, it's his birthday tomorrow. For the past years you prepared his gifts over a considerable span of time because they had to be special and you curated them with love.

You were the first one to wish him, making sure to call him when the clock stroke 12 at night. Though you never made him cut cakes incase he'd feel uncomfortable, you made him cakes every year and along with other gifts you had them delivered at his address. In return, you'd always recieve a thank you text and that was enough for you.

"Y/N?"

Jeonghan's voice breaks your reverie.

You eye in him with uncertainty and Jeonghan assures you catching on it, "Don't worry, I won't be asking you to do something arduous."

"I'll hear out your request only if you fulfill mine."

Jeonghan is not sure why he's heart is twisting uncomfortably in his chest when he hasn't even heard you out yet. He says, "As long as it's within my vicinity, I try to fulfill it."

"Oh trust me it is.", you say calmly.

"What is it, Y/N?"

You give him a cold smile when you say, "Don't interfere with my transfer request. Let Mr. Choi process it."

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

The Library of Illusion :: Cult of Dionysus Event

Welcome to the Library of Illusion. A place where legend and reality go hand in hand.

Enter each section if you dare. Your task is simple: collect the keys to unlock the Restricted Section and find the treasure hidden within. Will you suceed?

Updates at 7PM CST on Wednesday and Friday.

➥ ateez ot8 × fem!reader

summary: After finding a box full of information on the infamous Library of Illusion, something only spoken about in her childhood, and the hidden treasure it contains, Y/N decides to track down the library and find out if the rumors are true.

genre/themes/au: non idol au, fantasy, science fiction, horror, history, crime/mystery, adventure, supernatural themes, slight biblical & demonic themes

warnings: adult dialogue, sexual content (mdni 18+), elements of bdsm, female reader × ateez, see each part for further warnings

a/n: this has been a long time coming. I'm so excited to finally be able to unveil this event as we've been holding onto it for a while now. Please make sure to check out the other wonderful works by the other writers on this masterlist!

Thank you so much for reading, as always this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. Banners made by me with help from a template made by @imlevis. All my works are ©️ kwanisms. If you enjoy these works please reblog!

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby @thesolarplanetarysystem

ateez taglist: @2hodefender @cixrosie @pyeonghongrie-main @flowerboykun @sanjoongie @anyamaris @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

special tags: @thelargefrye @hwasdollie

join my taglists: permanent | ateez.

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Shadows of Desire

Summary: You always thought the only romance you would experiment with in your life was the one between pages under the flames at midnight. That was until you found him, because the feel of his fangs digging into your neck was more than addictive.

Genre: Vampire.

Part 1.

Part 2.

Part 3.

Part 4.

Part 5.

Part 6.

(Please keep in mind that the number of chapters or parts might be modified later on as the story continues).

love you twice — j. wonwoo x reader — part one

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4

description: in which your extremely hot and sexy one night stand turns out to be your son’s teacher. naturally, chaos ensues, but you might just find love as your life continues to take an unexpected turn.

“so, you’re just going to pretend like you aren’t avoiding me?” wonwoo asks with a brow raised, pointing an accusing finger in your direction. heat flourishes at the tip of your ears as you turn away from his gaze. “i’m not avoiding you mr. jeon,” you mutter, suddenly realizing you’ve just been caught in his trap. he takes a step forward and you back up against the wall as he leans in so his lips are ghosting your ear. "really?" wonwoo murmurs, "because i think you're lying." you both stay like that for a few moments before coming to your senses. he steps away with a heavy breath. "i'm sorry. you can get going if you—" you aren't sure what possesses you in that moment but you just can't allow him to finish what he's saying, grabbing him by the collar and slamming your lips on his.

tags/warnings: sexual content (18+), first-grade-teacher!wonwoo, mother!reader, fluff, angst (light), reader is jun's cousin, dirty talk, sexual tension, tension in general lol, unedited

w/c: 6.7k

a/n: this thought came to mind like once and i just *had* to write it because oh my god???? i hope u like reading this as much as i liked writing it! please reblog and like if you enjoyed, it would mean the world to me c:

“Fuck, yeah,” the pretty man above you grunts into your shoulder as he fucks into you, the drag of his fat cock against your gummy walls having you writhe in pleasure under him. Your fingers reach up and claw at his back, and if the digging of your nails into his skin is hurting, his only response is another deep, guttural groan of pleasure.

“Oh, fuck!” you cry out when his thick tip is hitting that one spot which has your toes curling, throwing your head back into his mattress, weakly bringing your hips up to try and sync with his thrusts, encouraging him to go deeper, harder. “Right there—right—ah! There!”

He continues to batter his length into you after your pleas, muttering out words of praise—“good girl—fuck—holding me so tight, so good,” and the words are going through your ears and straight down to your hot, sopping core because holy hell this man is amazing at dirty talk.

You’re so fucked through that you can’t even remember how you ended up here—all you know is that you were finally left with a free night when your cousin offered to take care of Kei for the night when you expressed the need to have just a little time to yourself. The last thing that comes to your mind at the moment is how you were at a club and somehow managed to end up here, in the bed of an extremely attractive man who seems to know exactly what to do with his mouth, his hands, his dick.

It’s a passing thought that the shame will hit you eventually, but right now all you can think about is how long it’s been since you got laid and how you never, ever remember sex feeling this good. You aren’t sure if it’s just this guy that is amazing or if you’re just really needy and desperate but—oh fuck, he’s slamming into you so hard and there’s that pulse that rumbles deep inside of your core and it has you moaning loud. Okay so, it’s definitely the fact that he might be your best lay pretty much ever, and it has you squirming around as you babble, “‘m gonna cum—I—fuck, I’m cumming!”

The waves of hot, white pleasure hit you hard and it has tears welling up in your eyes as you feel him let out his own moan from the way you’re squeezing him so tight, the feeling of his warm cum filling up the condom as he thrusts into you a few last times. You two stay like that for a moment, his hands on either side of your head holding his body above yours, as you both inhale and exhale deeply trying to catch your spent breath.

After a minute, he’s pushing himself off of you and off the bed, pulling off the condom to throw it out without a word. You take this as your cue to get up and start picking up your clothes, squeaking a little as a dull ache resides in your legs. You catch him looking at you at the sound, and you swear there’s a hint of a smirk on his face, but in the dark of the room you can’t quite tell. As you lean down to slip on your panties, he finally speaks.

“You can use my shower, even if you don’t plan on staying.”

You glance up at him with a chuckle, saying, “You like keeping your one night stands over for breakfast? What a gentleman.” He rolls his, pulling on some pants as he does so.

“Is there something wrong with being hospitable to someone who looks like they can hardly walk?”

“I suppose not,” you hum, ignoring the flush of your cheeks at his sly comment. “I appreciate the offer, but I have to get home—I have someone waiting for me,” you explain, a small smile creeping its way onto your face as you think about Kei. He looks at you for a second, a confused and honestly slightly mortified expression donning his face. Your eyes widen as you realize what that must have sounded like, and you throw up your hands and shake your head. “I don’t mean it like that—I—fuck—I’m not cheating on anyone! I meant something else!”

He gives you a funny look, replying, “I’ll choose to trust you on that, for the sake of my own sanity. I wouldn’t want to know that I’m the cause of a failed marriage or something.”

You grumble as you pull on your shirt, checking your pockets and purse to see if there’s anything missing. “No failed marriages here,” you laugh, tone slightly bitter before you brush it off. “Anyways, you should choose to trust me because I am telling the truth,” you counter as he watches you make your way to the exit. “I guess it doesn’t really matter, since I probably won’t see you again.”

“Too bad,” he grins as you approach his apartment’s door, slipping on your shoes. “That was fun.”

You inwardly bite your cheek at his shamelessness, looking away. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right, I guess,” you huff nonchalantly. “Anyways, thank you for this night. I kind of really needed this,” you admit, and then you’re slipping out of the door before he even has a chance to respond.

When you return to your apartment, you’re greeted by Jun at the door, lips somewhat in a grimace as you find Kei asleep in his arms. “Sorry, he kept saying he wanted to wait for you and he wouldn’t go to sleep so I tried to put on some show for him but then he fell asleep on my lap but I didn’t want to move until you came back,” he explains as he braces Kei under the arms so he can hand him over to you.

“Aw,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to your son's forehead as you look up at Jun. “Thank you so much for this, Jun, it really means a lot.”

He brings a hand up to the back of his neck and chuckles, waving his hand at you. “Don’t worry about it. I know you needed this,” he says, following you to your bedroom to help you set up the bed for Kei. “I got him to brush his teeth and all, so all that stuff is in set. Is there anything else you need help with?” he offers as you finish up tucking Kei into bed, walking out of the room as you shut off the lights.

“No, I think it’s okay,” you tell him honestly, leaning against the kitchen counter to catch up with Jun for a few minutes.

“Okay well, d’you have fun?” Jun asks, and he doesn’t give you the chance to respond before saying, “Seems like you did,” he snickers, pointing to your neck. Your hands fly up to your neck with wide eyes as you remember that your fuck buddy for the night was quite literally all over you.

“Whatever,” you respond with a roll of your eyes, “it’s just one night, and I swear I just needed to let loose a little.” You sigh deeply, and Jun sends you a look of sympathy.

“Everything alright?”

Your shoulders slump as rest your weight on the counter, leaning into Jun has he wraps a shoulder around your arm comfortingly. "It's just—ugh—Kei is starting first grade in two days and I just...I don't know how to feel."

"That makes sense," Jun agrees, "but it's good that he got into that school you'd been trying to get him into, right?"

"Yeah," you sigh again. "Fuck, that was really hard—I had to beg that principal to let him in 'cause they were full and it was a pain in the ass, but it is a really good school so I guess it makes sense." Jun hums in response, encouraging you to go on. "I guess it's just that I'm worried for him? It's only been me and him, you know, so I'm nervous. I know it's a good school, I just hope he's gonna be in good hands."

"Trust me, Kei is an amazing kid, so he'll be able to thrive anywhere. And if the school isn't up to your liking, you always have the option of transferring him out—after all, he's only in first grade so switching schools shouldn't be a problem," Jun explains to you, leaving your side to bring you a glass of water.

"Thank you," you say honestly as you gulp it down. “I think I needed that.”

“No problem. Is there anything else you want to talk about? You know I’m always open ears.”

You throw Jun a smile as you push yourself off the counter. “Yeah, I know, and I appreciate you for that, but honestly, all I need right now is to change into my pajamas and crash into the bed,” you tell him as he slips on his shoes at the doorway, picking up his backpack.

“Alright, alright. Let me know if you need any help or anything. I’m gonna get going now.”

“Thank you again,” you say as you open the door for him. Jun smiles and waves at you, bidding goodnight before he’s walking down the hallway and out of your sight. Once you close the door behind you, you waste no time getting into your bathroom and rinsing your body off, slipping into a much more comfortable set of clothes.

It's around ten minutes later when you're finally done with cleaning yourself and the room up one last time before crawling into the bed next to Kei. As you pull the covers over you both, you feel the exhaustion from the entire day fully engulf you, and before you know it, you're being thrown into a deep slumber.

The next day is Sunday and you spend each minute biting your nails and stressing over anything and everything. Kei’s going to be going to an actual school for the first time ever tomorrow and you can’t help but notice a buzzing instinct that something—just something—unexpected will happen. You can’t quite place your suspicions on something just yet, but the thoughts have you going crazy to the point where you have to call Jun in the night so he can calm you down.

“What if—what if—?” your frantic thoughts are cut off by Jun.

“Okay look I know you’re stressed but maybe you’re making this harder on yourself than it needs to be. You’ve thought of everything and like maybe 0.01% of the scenarios are actually even feasible, so trust me when I say nothing’s going to go wrong.

“But what if—”

“No what if’s!” Jun exclaims exasperatedly, “or else I’m going to come and take Kei to school myself tomorrow because god knows you’re not in the right mind right now.”

“Okay! Okay! I’ll stop!” you surrender in defeat, sighing as Kei comes up to you to show you a drawing he made. “I’m gonna get back to making dinner, Jun,” you say through the phone before squatting down.

“Okay, talk to you later. Try not to lose your mind,” Jun advises, causing you to chuckle as you hang hup, turning your full attention to your son.

“Hey Kei-Kei,” you say sweetly, patting his head as he looks down at the paper in his hands. “What’cha have there?” you ask curiously, scooching closer as he holds up the paper.

“It’s the new school, Mommy,” he explains, holding up a colored drawing of a school and a stick figure of you with an (adorably) abnormally large head holding the hand of a stick figure of him. “An’ there’s you an’ there’s me!”

Your heart swells as you stand up holding the paper, using a magnet to put it up on the fridge. “I love it Kei, you’re such a good artist!” you exclaim, swooping down to pick him up. “You excited for school tomorrow?”

“Yeah!”

“Your teacher’s name’s gonna be Mr. Jeon okay? That’s what the principal told me,” you tell him carefully, setting him down at his elevated seat at the dinner table. “Be nice to him okay? You need to respect teachers.”

“Yes Mommy,” Kei nods along enthusiastically as he watches you go to the kitchen and bring him some rice and curry.

“You remember the plan? I’ll drop you off but I don’t think I can stay long enough to go with you inside ‘cause I have work, okay?” Kei only half-mindedly nods his head as he dives into the food that you’ve set for him, but you don’t have the heart to blame him—after all, this is probably the fifth time you repeated this to him today. “I’ll be there right after school ends though,” you tell him, reminding yourself of the parent-teacher meeting Kei’s teacher had arranged to introduce himself to the parents.

“Okay,” Kei responds, his mouth stuffed with rice and curry smeared on his chin. He looks up at you innocently and you can’t help but giggle, his smile washing all your worries away.

As you clean up his face, you remind yourself of Jun’s words from earlier. Everything’s going to be okay.

And for the most part, everything is okay. In fact, everything’s going great, from Kei’s smooth drop off at his new school, to when you set foot on campus with five minutes to spare before the teacher meeting. There’s a big fat grin plastered on your face as you realize that maybe your hunch that something was going to go wrong was nothing more than that—just a hunch.

Now this is the part where you think you should have known better.

Once the final school bell rings, there are students rushing out of classrooms as you among a few other parents gather around the room that is 103, waiting to see your children and their teacher. As you all form in a line by the door, there’s a slightly older woman standing next to you wearing a kind smile.

“Are you here to see Mr. Jeon?” she asks you. Her warmth grows on you as you smile and nod.

“Yes! I assume you are too?”

“Mhm,” she nods, “I’ve been so excited! He’s a fairly young teacher, you know?”

“Is that so so,” you murmur, “my son is new to the school and all, so we aren’t really familiar with any of the teachers. Does Mr. Jeon have a good reputation?”

The lady shrugs. “I’ve heard he’s quite good with the kids, but I’d hope he was since he’s a first grade teacher…” she jokes. “I haven’t heard anything bad about him, if that’s what you’re asking. What I have heard though, is that he is quite nice to look at!”

You let out a small chuckle at that, amused by the idea of a man who has the parents of his students gossiping about his looks.

“Oh!” the lady exclaims, straightening her back. “Looks like they’re about to come!”

You peer over the shoulder of the father of another student in front of you, watching as the door opens slowly and a rush of Kei-sized children run out. Your smile brightens as your eyes land on your son, calling out his name so that he can run up to you and into your lifting arms. Picking him up, you have time to observe the obvious grin he has plastered on his face, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Hey Kei-Kei,” you say sweetly. “How was your first day of school?”

“It was so much fun Mommy! Mr. Jeon says he’s gonna talk to all of you,” he said, pointing at all the other adults greeting their kids.

“Yeah, that’s right!” you tell him, setting him down. You’re about to say something else before you hear a deep, familiar voice—it hardly takes you a second to realize who it is, and you freeze in your tracks. Your face grows pale as you brace yourself for what you’re about to see and hear—you’re lucky you’re standing in the back so he can’t see you and the million thoughts that are evidently running through your mind..

“Hello everyone, I’m glad you could make it today. I’m Jeon Wonwoo, and as you know, I’m your child’s teacher. I’m excited to start things off on a high note. You can have your child play on the playground during the meeting, since we still have our supervisors out to watch them."

Mr. Jeon. Jeon Wonwoo. Wonwoo. Him .

You should have known that your mother instincts were too accurate—the universe just had to throw you a curveball. You chew on your tongue for a moment figuring out how to handle this situation as you lean down closer to Kei, nodding to him when he looks over at you for permission to follow his newly-made friends to the playground. Taking a deep breath as you watch Kei skip away, you glance over at him , who luckily hasn’t seemed to notice you.

Straightening your back as all of the young kids happily follow each other outside, the hallway is finally only left with him and the parents. “Okay, you guys can come in, I’ve made room for you all to stand around the back since I doubt any of you will fit into your child’s chair,” Mr. Jeon jokes, and while most others laugh, there’s a pit of anxiety gnawing at your stomach that has you going stiff. He moves aside a little, making way for the parents to enter the classroom and greeting each one individually.

Suddenly your breath is caught in your throat and you glance around you, excusing yourself from the lady next to you so you can shuffle to the back of the line, pretending to look through something in your purse. You aren’t even sure what you’re trying to do, but all you know is that you just need a moment to collect yourself, your thoughts. Luck must not be on your side though, as before you know it, the last person in front of you has entered the classroom leaving you dead in your tracks and staring at Mr. Jeon , who’s eyes haven’t turned fully towards you yet.

Maybe this is your last chance to run , you think quickly, but you remind yourself that embarrassing or not, this is for Kei and you’d be damned to miss this meeting. That and the fact that maybe you’re just a little happy that you’re seeing this attractive man again and— no! You scold yourself, don’t think like that!

You shake yourself of such dirty, such inappropriate thoughts when you finally catch his eyes landing on you. That’s when you see it‚ the way his eyes widen slightly as he takes in your figure. He recognizes you, you’re sure of it. His hand is already reaching out to shake yours but it stops midway as you both take a moment to stare at each other before he’s quickly clearing his throat and looking away for a second.

“H-hi,” he says, pursing his lips together after realizing he fucking stuttered. “Nice to meet you. You must be Kei’s mother?” he asks, avoiding the fat fucking elephant in the room. You shyly reach out and shake his hand, fruitlessly trying to ignore the memory of these very fingers being plunged knuckle deep inside of you less than two nights ago.

“Um, yeah, that’s me,” you reply quieter than you want, suddenly finding it unable to meet his gaze as the pads of his fingers brush against your skin. “Nice to meet you too. Kei’s been, um, excited to start school here,” you say louder as you try to avert your attention away from what you’re both thinking about, “so I hope you can make his time here a good one.” Mr. Jeon presses his lips into a smile and you want to bash your head into the wall at how sincere he looks.

“I’ll do my best,” he says, before raising a brow and pointing toward the room. You follow his direction and stand by the other parents who are lined up at the back of the classroom, Mr. Jeon following in behind you and making his way to the front of the classroom.

From there the meeting begins, and he goes over a small presentation over the daily activities of his class, classroom expectations, and such forth. You pay attention to the best of your ability, you really do, but sometimes you find your eyes drifting away from the projector screen and toward his arms that are on show with his short sleeve shirt, your mind trailing off to a place that it definitely shouldn’t. You catch yourself quickly though, mentally reprimanding yourself and turning your attention back to the presentation.

He finishes up the meeting with a list of his contacts and you quickly bring out your phone, along with others, to list down his email and phone number (only for the reason of Kei’s education, of course). “If you have any questions, you can ask me now. If not, you’re free to go!” There’s a series of “thank you’s” that echo through the room as some approach Mr. Jeon and others, like you, shuffle out of the classroom. You can’t lie, your steps are quick and you’re nearly running out of the room so fast that you don’t catch the way his eyes linger on your back as you exit.

“He said I’m a great artist! We did some coloring and he said my flower looked really nice.”

“Well he didn’t lie,” you tell your son as you pull up to the parking lot for your apartment complex. “You are a great artist, Kei,” you say as you get out of your seat and pull your work bag with you, then help Kei get out too. “Tell you what Kei-Kei—you want to go to a restaurant tonight?”

The way his smile is so bright and infectious when he’s nodding yes has you leaning down and squeezing him into a hug as you both make your way to your apartment. The rest of the evening is spent with you cleaning Kei up and finishing up your own work—now that Kei isn’t going to full day care, you’re going to have to go to work for half the day so you can pick him up, leaving more work for you in the evenings.

Tonight, you’re determined to finish up your work quickly so you can take yourself and Kei out to dinner at some burger joint as a celebration for his first day of school. By the time you’re home, Kei is exhausted and nearly falling asleep in your arms as you carry him up. Setting him down and tucking him into bed is the last thing you do before going to the living room and sinking down into your couch, sighing out of your own fatigue.

You’d think you don’t have enough energy to think about anything else, but once you’ve cleaned up and are trudging to crash onto your bed, those thoughts are creeping up your back.

Jeon Wonwoo.

You roll around under your sheets, pressing your face into the pillow as you mumble incoherent curses. It was only a one night stand, only a casual fuck, so why are you here still thinking about him? For fuck’s sake he’s Kei’s teacher! You just can’t be having such thoughts about him! Right?

So why are you squirming under the sheets thinking about that night—the way he made you feel things you never could even imagine feeling. “Fuck!” you mutter to yourself, slamming a pillow over your head. You huff lowly, rolling over in your bed, pressing your eyes shut as you hope that if you pretend that you’re asleep hard enough, your brain will actually lull your consciousness away. And for a moment, it works—you’re asleep within a few minutes.The only downside? You may or may not be dreaming about Jeon Wonwoo.

The rest of the week is, thankfully, slightly easier on your heart. You only really go to Kei’s school to pick him and thanks to the valet system in place, you often don’t even have to get out of the car, one of the older volunteer students always helping him into your car.

Kei seems to be having the time of his life as well, always coming back home with saying something along the lines of, “Mommy, today Mr. Jeon taught us this really cool thing…” or “Mommy, Rei and I made up this new game at recess…”—least to say, you’re enthralled that he’s having a good time, and you almost forget about how his teacher haunts your thoughts every night.

It’s Friday now and as promised, you stay behind after school today so you can watch Kei play with his friends for some time on the playground. You’re on your phone, scrolling through some work emails to mentally calculate just how much you’ll have to work tonight to ensure a relaxing weekend. You're in the midst of frowning when you see a shadow approach you from the corner of your vision, although you pay it no mind. At least, not until you hear his voice.

“Hey.” It’s deep and calm and has you thrown back into those thoughts that you've been so desperately trying to avoid. You’re hyper aware of his figure next to you, and the way that his shoulders, his arms, feel so large and protective next to you is driving you fucking crazy.

“Oh,” you murmur in surprise, turning to look at him. “Hi Mr. Jeon,” you greet awkwardly, keeping a bit of distance between you two as you slip your phone into your purse, “it’s nice to see you here.”

He nods. “The feeling’s mutual,” he tells you, and although you figure it’s just a formality, the way he says it with that small smile tugging at his lips has your stomach doing tumbles. “You can call me Wonwoo, by the way.”

“O-okay Wonwoo,” you reply nervously as the air between you thickens, as if you’re both egging each other on seeing who’s going to fold first. You clear your throat before speaking again, “How’s Kei doing in your class? Is there anything I can do at home to help him?”

“Not at all. He’s a good student,” Wonwoo—god, his name sounds so nice in your head—replies almost immediately. “He’s really good at drawing, I’ve noticed.” Wonwoo notices how your face lights up at that comment, the tension on your shoulder dropping slightly as you respond.

“Yeah, he loves to draw at home. I’ve been thinking of putting him in an art class or something where he can practice and stuff,” you explain, eyes flickering over at Kei who’s sliding down some slide with another boy.

“That would be nice,” Wonwoo agrees, and once again the silence returns.

“I should get going now,” you say after a few moments, pulling your phone out to pretend like you’re checking the time. “Kei-Kei!” you call out, and it only takes a few seconds before your son is bounding down the playground and up to you as you crouch down. “Hey buddy, it’s time to go,” you tell him.

“But I wanna play Mommy!”

“Kei-Kei, please? I have to work tonight and you’ve played for almost an hour now.”

He’s frowning deeply and you find yourself almost caving in, but before you do, Wonwoo is speaking. “Listen to your mom, Kei, okay?” His voice is stern yet gentle, and the way Kei’s face softens has relief coursing through your veins.

“Okay Mr. Jeon,” Kei agrees, taking your hand as you stand up. You look at Wonwoo with gratitude.

“Thank you for that,” you say quietly, slightly embarrassed. “We’ll get going now.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Wonwoo says casually, pushing his hands into his pocket and stepping back. You’re walking away as you say bye, Kei flashing a grin at Wonwoo as he waves him goodbye. “See you later,” Wonwoo calls out to you. “Hopefully,” he adds and you swear he chuckles when he here’s you choke in shock. You don’t look back out of the humiliation that your cheeks are burning, tugging Kei along as he goes on about the new game he’s made up with his friends.

Jeon Wonwoo might just be the death of you.

The first month of Kei’s school continues to go smoothly. You don’t come across Wonwoo much after that, although that may partly be due to you avoiding him. It’s not as if you dislike him, in fact, it’s quite the opposite—you think you might like him too much.

His face, his glasses, his smile—fuck—the way he’s so kind, so gentle—you can’t seem to find a single thing wrong with him. Everyday Kei comes home babbling a new happy story about Mr. Jeon and what he taught the class, or a new compliment he gave him, and you can’t help but fall for him simply through the words of your son.

It is a little embarrassing, if you’re being honest—having a crush on a man at your big age—but you just can’t help it.

As the month progresses, you find both yourself and Kei get used to things—he seems to enjoy going to school every morning and you enjoy the happy smiles he holds when he returns. Everything seems to fall into a perfect pattern, with nothing seeming to go wrong. Well…that is, at least, until this Friday.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” you exclaim, knuckles white as you grip the steering wheel, glancing at the time on your dashboard. Your last meeting ended up longer than you planned but you couldn’t leave, given it was with executives, and now you’re stuck in traffic as you’re already late to pick up Kei. “Ugh,” you groan out, trying to peer over the cars in front of you only to realize that you might be stuck here for a bit.

You’re slightly frantic trying to figure out what you’re going to do—any other day you would have called Jun and asked him to pick Kei up for you, but he’s on a trip with his friend so that isn’t an option right now. Chewing on your bottom lip, you glance at the unmoving traffic and pull out your phone, scrolling through your contacts. You don’t think twice before hitting the contant labeled Mr. Jeon, letting out a sigh of relief when you hear the other end pick up your call.

“Hello, Mr. Jeon?” you say quickly when you hear some shuffling on the other side. “This is Kei’s mom.”

He says your name softly before asking, “Can I help you?”

“Hi, yes, I’m really sorry, but I think Kei might be waiting for me at the valet but I’m stuck in traffic and I—fuck—” you mutter when you need to slam the breaks hard. “—sorry for my language—I just don’t know how long it’ll take for me to pick him up and I don’t want him to wait for me too long so I was hoping that there was something you could do so he could wait in the office or something—anything really—just so he can wait somewhere safer while I come,” you blabber.

Wonwoo takes a few seconds to reply, and for a moment you think you might have spoken so quickly that he didn’t hear a single thing you said. “He can stay in my room, if that’s okay with you,” he finally says, and you blink a few times.

“I—really? Tha-that’s definitely okay with me, yeah. That would be amazing, thank you so much Mr. Je—Wonwoo. Thank you,” you ramble, shutting up quickly when you hear a soft chuckle from the other side.

“Yes really. Don’t worry about it, I usually stay in the class after school anyways. You said he’s in the valet?”

“Yes, he usually waits by the tree,” you tell him, and a silence can be heard from Wonwoo as he gets up from his seat. “Thank you again, I’ll come as soon as I can.”

“No problem,” he replies, and with that you hang up, leaning back in your seat as you feel you can finally relax now.

It takes you around another 25 minutes before you’re finally pulling up to the school's parking lot, quickly making your way through the familiar route to Kei’s classroom. Knocking on the door, you peer through the small glass window, insides growing warm and fuzzy at the scene of Kei happy drawing on a desk. It takes a few seconds but then there’s a hand on the knob, opening the door for you.

“Thank you so much,” you let out before you can even see all of Wownoo’s figure.

He laughs and holy hell is it one attractive laugh (since when did you start finding laughs attractive?!). “Stop saying thank you, please,” he groans jokingly. “I might just start feeling bad. Seriously, it’s no problem, I’m usually here for a while anyway and Kei is wonderful company.”

You purse your lips, tentatively stepping into the room as Wonwoo moves for you, arm brushing against yours as you approach Kei. “Hey Kei-Kei, you wanna go now?”

Kei turns to look at you, eyebrows slightly furrowed. “But Mr. Jeon said I could play outside if I wanted!” You turn your head to look at Wonwoo, raising a brow.

“Uh, since the supervisors are still out I said he could play in a bit since I didn’t know when you were going to come,” he explains, and your gaze softens, turning back to your son.

“Okay Kei-Kei, but only fifteen minutes, okay?” you tell him, helping him clean up as Kei makes his way out the door and towards the playground. After putting his stuff away, you pick up his bag and head in the same direction as Kei to follow him, pausing when you feel a hand on your wrist.

“You can stay here, you know?” Wonwoo tells you, a smirk playing at his lips. “I don’t bite.”

You plaster a sympathetic smile through your nervousness, hastily replying, “I know, I just—I’ve already bothered you today and I think I should just head off now.”

“You aren’t bothering me.”

“Okay well,” you counter as you make your way to the door, “what if I just really want to watch my son have fun?”

“You’re really good at this, you know?”

“Good at what?”

“So, you’re just going to pretend like you aren’t avoiding me?” Wonwoo asks with a brow raised, pointing an accusing finger in your direction. Heat flourishes at the tip of your ears as you turn away from his gaze.

“I'm not avoiding you Mr. Jeon,” you mutter, suddenly realizing you’ve just been caught in his trap. He takes a step forward and you back up against the wall as he leans in so his lips are ghosting your ear. "Really?" Wonwoo murmurs, "Because I think you're lying." You both stay like that for a few moments before coming to your senses. He steps away with a heavy breath. "I'm sorry. You can get going if you—"

You aren't sure what possesses you in that moment but you just can't allow him to finish what he's saying, grabbing him by the collar and slamming your lips on his. Wonwoo’s arms fly up to your face and cup your cheeks, immediately running his tongue along your lips. The familiar taste of his tongue sliding against yours is something that you thought you wouldn’t experience after that night, but having him with you, right now, like this is enough to have your mind racing—he’s so fucking addicting that you can’t even fathom how you went more than a day without him.

Wonwoo's grasp on your face has you tilting your face, noses brushing past each other as you deepen the kiss, your fingers lacing in his thick locks to hold him close. His lips move so effortlessly against yours you'd even go as far to say you two were dancing, as you stumble back into the wall. Wonwoo presses you against the surface and you let out a gasp as he leans down, kissing you so hard and passionately that it might just suck the air out of you.

And it probably does, considering when you finally pull away from each other you’re gasping for air both from just how long Wonwoo’s lips stayed connected to yours, along with how breathtakingly amazing of a kisser he is. He looks down at you with some sort of sparkling look in his eyes and it has you weak in the knees, gripping onto his hair tighter.

He lets out a low grunt at the action and holy fuck the sound is doing things to you but then you’re both reminded of where you are and what you’re doing and then Wonwoo is stepping back as you let go of him, putting some space between you two. His glasses are slightly foggy and he takes them off to rub the moisture away on his shirt.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” You reach for his hand, cutting him off.

“It’s okay,” you murmur, somewhat bashful of your own actions as you look down, “We both did that so uh…don’t apologize.” Wonwoo looks up at you and then back down at your hand holding his, squeezing it comfortingly.

“Okay,” he says gently, reaching for his phone in his pocket. “Can I, uh, get your number? I only have it saved on the school phone…” he asks hopefully, looking up at you as he uses one hand to smooth his ruffled hair, the other holding up his phone in your direction.

Your lips are pressed into a tight smile as you try to hide your cheeky grin. “Of course,” you say maybe a little too quickly, punching in your digits and handing it back to him. A silence settles between you two, but it isn’t uncomfortable like before, no, it’s rather…warm now.

“I…” Wonwoo starts to admit, “…never thought I’d end up in a situation like this.” You giggle and nod your head in agreement. “But, um, I’d like to see where this goes.”

“I like the sound of that,” you reply with a smile, and it's the truth—your stomach tumbles with a good feeling that things might just go your way.

a/n: hope u liked it! i'm super duper excited for this story and was literally kicking my feet writing this so you can expect a part 2 quite soon! in the meantime, please like, comment, and reblog! send me an ask or comment if you'd like to be tagged in part 2!

pt.2

Useful Skills

Shadow Summoner! Fem Reader x Kaz Brekker

SPOILERS for Wylans story arc and season two of shadow and bone.

Slow Burn with Kaz because he deserves someone willing to go his pace.

Synopsis: Kaz needs new blood and it comes in the form of Wylan's childhood best friend. A powerful Grisha.

warnings: angst, I did my best to be accurate to Kaz but show Kaz is a little different from Book Kaz so I'm still learning, general angsty crap, and mention of the reader being related to the darkling (trying to make it a little accurate to the books/show)

You had known Wylan Van Eck for almost 8 years, your mother was a maid in his house. You and your mother lived in the servant's quarters on the Van Eck property, meaning you spent almost all your time around him and his family. You never went to a proper school, your mother didn't want you to when you lived in Ravka in case the Grisha testers came. She kept your abilities hidden until you moved to Ketterdam where Grisha testers wouldn't find you.

Your mother died a few years ago, and you left the Van Eck house and found work as a server in a Pub. It was not a job you were happy with but it kept a roof over your head so you would suffer through it for now. You lost touch with Wylan until one day when he entered the pub with three other people.

You almost didn't recognize him, he hadn't grown much from when he was a child but he looked a little more confident. He was sitting against a lanky zemeni boy, exchanging hopelessly smitten glances. Opposite them was a woman dressed in a beautiful gown and a man clad in all black with almost no skin showing. They were in complete contrast to Wylan and the Zemeni boy, sitting as far away from each other as possible.

It was the end of your shift when another server seated them in a booth at the far end of the pub. You knew you had to walk past them to get to the back, where your bag was stored in a small closet away from customers, but walking past meant possibly being recognized.

You hadn't left the Van Eck residence in good faith, having lost your temper at Wylans father for working your mother into the ground and causing her death. When Wylan had tried to speak with you, you had snapped at him and stormed away. Did he hold that against you and would he be hostile? Why was he here of all places?

You tried not to think about it, walking straight passed the table and through the back. You stumbled around the chefs and untied your apron, shoving it in your bag. You took a deep breath before heading back the way you came. You opened the door and stepped out, sidestepping around another waiter serving food at a table close by. As you tried to walk past the table Wylan was seated at, a cane blocked your path.

You stared down at the black cane blocking your path, following it to the gloved hand which held it. You didn't have to remember his name to know who he was.

The man clad in black stared at you, "Y/N, take a seat."

You almost laughed, stopping yourself before offending the bastard of the barrel, "And why would I do that?"

"Because your skills are wasted here."

You would be lying if you weren't interested. But how did Dirtyhands, leader of the Dregs, know what skills you had?

The Zemeni slid over a little more on his side of the booth, dragging Wylan along with him. You hesitantly sat down, avoiding eye contact with Wylan.

"Hi," Wylan squeaked out, offering a shy smile. Your heart melted slightly Wylan was the kindest soul you had ever met. He wouldn't dare hurt a fly and didn't deserve the mistreatment he got from his father.

"Hey,' You replied, feeling any tension resolve. You offered him a smile, watching the anxiety melt away from his face. To further remove any tension, you stole a piece of bread from his plate that sat untouched in front of him. Picking off a piece and eating it casually.

The girl on the opposite side of the booth giggled, following your lead and humming an appreciative sound at the taste.

"So..?" You turned to Brekker, "What is it exactly that you think my skills are?"

Kaz's eyes flickered from you to Wylan next to you, "Wylan tells me you have a unique talent."

You paused your movements, turning to narrow your eyes at Wylan, "Did he just," You grumbled. You had shown Wylan your summoning when you were both 15. He was your best friend and swore he would never tell another soul, he was the only person you knew who wasn't scared of shadow summoning.

Wylan stumbled over his sentence, "I didn't, uh, tell him everything."

Kaz's face morphed into a scowl.

This time you did laugh, "So you came here on a whim?"

Kaz opened his mouth to speak but was beaten by the woman.

"We need your help to break someone out of Hellgate."

Your face gave away your surprise, you had never been anywhere near Hellgate but you knew the stories, "Hellgate? As in the most secure place in Ketterdam?"

"Wylan seems to think you can help us," Kaz said.

You looked at your childhood friend, thinking over the specifics. You just might be able to help but summoning meant exposing yourself and your abilities. The Fold and The Darkling were gone, but how would people react to another shadow summoner?

"So," the Zemeni spoke, his arm draped over Wylans shoulders, "You in?"

Stepping into the Slat for the first time felt strange. You hadn't been in a warm, dry place for years. Finding it now in the middle of the barrel felt counter intuitive. You weren't expecting it, but once you stepped past the threshold you were hit by a wave of warmth.

You were somewhat jealous, your own room in the boarding house was never this warm. And you lived on the outskirts of the barrel and the financial district.

The bottom of the slat held a bar that had seen better days, to say the least. Kaz led the way to another booth, clearly the group's go-to planning table. Maps of Hellgate and various scribbled notes were perched on the wood.

You slipped into the booth and sat next to Nina, who had talked your ear off the whole walk to the Slat about Matthias the (former) Düskelle and love of her life. You didn't mind, enjoying listening to something more upbeat than the drunken rambles of patrons you were used to. Besides, it was clear she was head over heels and you always tried to help out fellow Grisha.

As Kaz went over what he was planning, you listened intently. He had fleshed out almost every part of the plan, but kept on ending up with one key factor.

"We'll be seen."

You shared a glance with Wylan.

"I can help with that."

Kaz quirked an eyebrow, waiting for you to explain further. You were hesitant, they could fear you and kill you on the spot. Or you might have to kill them.

You looked around the room, by now it was so late into the night that even the bars would be closing. There was no one else in the Slat. The last Dregs had crawled in half an hour ago and were nowhere to be seen. It didn't mean anyone couldn't walk in at any time.

Nina could feel your heartbeat grow more erratic, "No one is around." She said, trying to assure you with her small science.

"The Dregs won't interrupt us while we're in here," Kaz spoke, for a second you thought you saw curiosity in his eyes.

"Just-" You took a shaky breath, you hadn't shown anyone your powers since Wylan. Only using them in hiding to avoid growing weak. For the longest time, your mother scolded you for using your powers, teaching you the dangers of summoning anywhere that wasn't in private.

"Never tell anyone," She would mumble, wrapping you in her arms as you both curled up on the small bed in your room in the servants quarters of the Van Eck Mansion, "Your powers are your gifts, but they are your crimes too, Milaya. If anyone finds out they will punish you."

You broke the rules she set out only once, with Wylan. Were you ready to risk your comfortable life for these people you just met?

"It's hard to explain," You leant back against the booth, twisting your fingers nervously, "It's easier to show."

Kaz gestured impatiently, waiting for you to show them.

"Wylan said your Etherealnik," Jesper said flippantly, "We have a heartrender," He gestured loosely to Nina, "A wonderful durast," He grinned and gestured to himself, "About time we add an Etherealnik.”

You smiled, "Well if you're so sure."

You pressed your palms together, pausing for a second and then pulling them apart. Twisting your hands in opposite directions, your fingers moved independently to call the shadows to you. For a fleeting moment, it was like the world was losing colour, and then darkness was gathering around your hands, amassing between your palms.

You heard Nina gasp but ignored her to focus on your shadows. They reached out in tendrils, spreading up your arms as they tried to block the light from you. You pressed your hands back together, and the shadows expanded quickly and overcame the room, plunging space into pitch black. As soon as the darkness overcame the room, you called it off. Returning the room to its usual light.

Once the room was back to what it was before, you glanced around at the faces of the Crows. Wylan had the same impressed smile he had all those years ago, forever in awe of your powers. Nina was staring wide-eyed at the table, a slightly unreadable look on her face. Jesper's jaw was slack, mouth agape and blinking rapidly.

You were surprised to see Kaz wasn't at all shocked. He had the slightest smirk, not an ounce of fear or hesitation on his features.

"Those skills," He said with the same smirk, "are definitely of use."

Getting into the Hellshow hadn't been an issue. You and Nina had gotten on a boat and calmy taken seats towards the back of the crowd. Nina had to keep her face somewhat hidden, deciding on tailoring herself slightly to avoid Pekka's gaze. She had told you briefly about the last time she was here, trying to deliver the pardon Nikolai Lanstov convinced the Kerch government to write. She had been thrown out on Pekkas orders, pardon ignored. She was forced to leave not knowing how Matthias was.

You felt bad for her, it was hard to be separated from those you loved. Not that you ever had anyone other than your mother, but when she died you would have done anything to bring her back.

"So," You turned to Nina, squished up against her to avoid being too close to the drunken men beside you, "What exactly is the hellshow?"

Nina's brow furrowed in disgust, "The prisoners fight for better living conditions, food, a visit from family. It's barbaric."

She was looking over the crowd, eyes filled with silent fury. You followed her gaze to where a bearded man sat surrounded by burly prisoners. She pointed him out, "Rollins." Her voice held a hatred you hadn't thought possible of her.

You had stopped Kaz the night before, asking him what you were thinking again now, "Why don't we just kill this Pekka Rollins?"

Kaz had given you an annoyed look - although almost all of his looks were annoyed. He gave you no answer, but Jesper had filled you in on how Kaz had something personal against Rollins, something about Rollins running a con that lead to his brother's death. The specifics he didn't know. Kaz was a mystery, even to those that he seemed closest with. He seemed to like it that way. In the week it took for you all to plan the heist, you had learnt very few things about the bastard of the barrel.

Almost immediately you noticed how well he kept his thoughts and emotions hidden. At first, you had jokingly declared you would hate to play cards against him and Jesper confirmed he yet to win against his boss. Then you started to admire him, the calculated look in his eyes and the strength he projected made him the force The Barrel knew him as. Every now and again you could see a crack in his resolve. The way a corner of his mouth would quirk up for a fleeting second when Jesper made a particularly terrible joke. The quick flash of a solemn emotion - regret? pain? - when he was accused of being heartless by Nina or Per Haskell.

The other thing you noticed was entirely by mistake. It was obvious how Kaz was never without his gloves, it was the first thing you noticed about him. You didn't need to know why, everyone had their cruxes. You kept your own hidden, you assumed he did too. Then you noticed how he kept himself away from others. He never stood too close or flinched away from others' touch. You noticed it quickly and adjusted, trying to respect his boundaries. To you, it was the least you could do after what he had done for you.

You didn't think the boy had noticed, but he had. Kaz had been interested in your mysterious nature too. You kept hidden well, he hadn't expected you to shadow summon even though Wylan had warned him you were uniquely talented. He had to make assumptions about you, you looked quiet and well-mannered. But he had been surprised to learn you were anything but. You spoke your mind with little regard for manners or etiquette. Kaz grew to admire it. Not many people argued with Dirtyhands, or offered different plans from his own, but you were constantly challenging his ideas and in many ways, making them better.

Kaz couldn't, however, find your crux. It infuriated him, he found himself watching you and trying to learn more. That infuriated him more.

He could see you seated in the bleachers now, but you couldn't see him. He had slipped into the arena unnoticed by Pekkas men, hiding away from their gazes.

The plan was set in motion when Wylan and Jesper made their first move. You and Nina would then find Matthias' cell and Kaz would lead Jesper and Wylan to you. The plan was to break him out of the cells and smuggle him hidden in your darkness. Nina had told you how Matthias had been unlearning Druskelle's ideas, but he still might be hostile towards you. It made you nervous, using your power in public for the first time with the risk of Matthias messing you up. It was a considerable risk. Nina had tried to reassure you she would prevent him from interfering.

There was a far-off rumbling, then a muffled boom. You and Nina pretended to be startled like the other patrons, adding to the panic as fog started to fill the arena. As the crowd panicked and headed for the exits, you subtly summoned your shadows to extinguish the lamps around the room. The darkness drew more panic. You and Nina used it to slip past the crowds and into the hallway leading to the cells.

You almost stabbed Jesper as he came barreling around the corner in his guard's uniform. He reeled back, hands over his chest in surprise as the sudden blade.

"Saints," You swore, pocketing the knife and reaching to steady the boy, "I thought you would be slower."

“Change in plans,” Kaz said with no further explanation, "Wylan's bombs will distract the guards for a time. We need to find the frejdan quickly."

You nodded, resuming your position and following Nina as she searched for Matthias' heart. Occasionally you would clasp your hand around her wrist - a gesture not missed by Kaz. Nina had figured out quickly you were an amplifier, allowing you to help her search more efficiently. She hadn't told anyone else, because she knew what it meant. A shadow summoner who was also an amplifier? It was undisguisable the relation there.

Your group halted at a large bolted door, Nina mumbled out how she was sure Matthias was in a room beyond.

"What about guards?" Wylan spoke quietly, half hidden by Jesper, who had his pistol in hand. Wylan was in a guard's uniform too, but it looked much bigger on him, giving him an almost adolescent look.

Nina paused, "Three."

You turned to Kaz, watching him as ideas turned around in his mind.

"Wait-" Nina spoke again, crossing her hands together, "There's more than just guards."

"How do you mean?' You pressed.

"There are men in the main space," She explained, "Prisoners perhaps?"

"Rollins." Kaz hissed. None of you could know for sure, but it seemed likely. This changed everything, you had all been operating under the assumption that the prisoners were locked in their cells during security breaches. At least, that had been what Kaz's inside source had told.

"Jesper and I should go in," You said, offering a plan before Kaz could, "I can hide us, Jesper can open the door and-"

"No," Kaz interrupted. You were taken aback, he didn't even let you finish.

"Matthias doesn't know you," Nina said desperately, her voice slightly louder than the whispers in which you had all been conversing. "He won't go with you."

You shook your head in frustration, "I can't hide all of us. Even if I could, we don't have a plan.”

"Everyone stop talking," Kaz snapped, his brows pulled together in concentration.

You bit back a smart remark, it wouldn't do any good now anyway.

"Nina, Jesper," Kaz started, "You take Wylan and create a distraction, explosion or whatever." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a watch, gesturing for Wylan to bring out his own, "When the minute clock is on the 8, something big that ensures we can slip out. Then you go back to Ketterdam, as quickly as possible."

That gave you all 25 minutes but meant Nina wouldn't see Matthias. Nina looked disheartened but waited for Kaz to finish.

"Y/N and I will get Helvar. We'll use the distraction to get out, and meet you back at the Slat."

"How will we get Matthias out of a locked cell?" You hissed.

Kaz fished something out of his pocket, opening his palm to show you the small silver lock pick.

"Of course," You sighed dramatically, "I should have known you know how to pick locks."

Kaz gave you an amused smile and a look that read, Do you even know me?

Nina reached up to her neck, unclasping a necklace she always wore, "Give this to Matthias, so he knows you are with me."

You nodded, tucking the necklace in the pocket of your skirt to keep it safe.

Kaz sent the three away but not before Jesper worked his Durast science and unlocked the door.

You turned to Kaz, "I can hide us, block the light, but I can't disguise sound."

Kaz followed your gaze to his cane, nodding once in understanding.

You took a deep breath, it was now or never. Kaz pulled the door open as quietly as possible, watching your face contort in effort as you called shadows to you to surround the both of you.

You turned to Kaz before stepping into the room, "You'll have to stay close."

You didn't wait for his response, just took a dubious step into the room and pressed against the wall. Nina had said Matthias was in the 5th door on the left, but once you had entered you realized just how open the space was.

The fifth door was in the middle of the circular space, the only cover would be from Pillars of stone that held the roof up. You spared a glance at Kaz, who was standing mere centimetres away from you on your back, his cane held firmly in his grasp off the ground. Standing so close to him felt different, you hadn't expected him to be so cold. It was like he was drawing your heat away from you, which you welcomed. You were always too warm, something about the effort of summoning made you overheat easily. Your mother used to say your skin always felt feverish. Now for the first time, you felt balanced.

Kaz felt it too. How heat rolled off of you in waves. Being so close to you warmed him, which seemed impossible. He hadn't felt warmth since he was a boy, since before the Queen Lady’s Plague. You sensed his unease, looking at him and offering the smallest of apologies, your voice so quiet he hardly heard it.

He nodded for you to continue, trying not to get caught up in the feeling of being close to you. You both counted the doors as you inched along, stopping as you reached the fifth door. Kaz slowly bent down, and you spotted a flash of pain as he moved his leg. He faced the lock and started working while you stood beside him watching the courtyard.

Nina was right, there were more than three men in the room. At least eight were seated around a makeshift table, sitting on the table itself was one Pekka Rollins. You could hear the vulgar conversation he was keeping, it made you think about how much Kaz hated him. You startled when there was a soft clang, the noise echoing off the cobble walls. You turned to look at Kaz, who was silently cursing himself and staring at the lockpick resting on the floor.

"What was that?" A rough voice groused.

Rollins climbed up from his seat, he took a few slow steps towards where you were hidden in the shadows. The lanterns on the walls weren't lit, you had made sure to block the one that was nearby on a pillar to avoid any obvious shadows. Rollins was staring into the darkness like he could see you, it made you so nervous you could feel your heart beating out of your chest.

Rollins snatched a lantern from the table, holding it up and taking a few more slow steps. You tried to step back slightly but only nudged Kaz. If he noticed, he didn't react, still working on the lock. As Pekka drew closer, the lock clicked open, allowing Kaz to push the door open. He blindly reached out, grabbing your wrist, pulling you into the cell, and shutting the door behind you as quietly as possible. Almost as quickly as he had held your wrist, he let go, stepping away as you held your palms facing up to draw the shadows back into the room to avoid Rollin's suspicions.

Thankfully, it was only Matthias in the cell. He had stirred from sleep at the sounds of footsteps, when he opened his eyes you stumbled around Kaz to shove your hands over Matthias' mouth to stop any words from coming out. The Frejdan made a disgruntled noise, sleep leaving his eyes and his hands locking onto your wrists with a deathly tight grip.

"You alive in there, Helvar?" Rollin's accent gave way to his chuckle, he kicked the door, causing it to rattle and groan.

You and Kaz stared at Matthias, urging him to keep his mouth shut. With any luck, Pekka would leave and chalk it up to the sleepy groans of a prisoner. You should have known luck was not on your side.

"Helvar," Rollins barked, this time bringing his fist against the door.

You pulled your hands away from the druskelle. Mouthing "Please" to him.

"Leave me be," The Frejdan spoke hoarsely.

Rollins let out an ugly chuckle from the other side of the door but after another few tense moments, you heard footsteps moving away.

You stepped back, accidentally bumping into Kaz in the cramped space. Matthias moved from the cot, fixing you and Kaz with a dirty glare that made you even more nervous.

"Who are you?"

"We're friends of Nina," You tried to explain, beating Kaz to speak because you knew he would only escalate the situation.

Matthias' face turned sourer, within a blink of an eye he was moving. You had no time to react as he grabbed you and pushed you against the wall, his forearm pressing against your throat. He put enough pressure to limit your air, like he was trying to warn you, not to hurt you. You quickly touched your hands together and reached out to summon. Matthias grabbed your wrist and slammed it against the wall. It made a sick crack, pain blooming through your wrist and hand. You let out a string of curses, biting your tongue to avoid being too loud.

Kaz used the crow end of his cane to press against Matthias' neck, "I suggest you let go, Helvar."

Matthias let out a soft growl as he spoke, "Who are you?"

His accent was so pronounced, every word he spoke in Kerch was thick with the Frejdan accent he would never be rid of.

"Friends of Nina," You insisted, "In my left pocket, Nina gave me her necklace."

Matthias loosed his grip slightly, looking from your face to your skirt's pockets. He let go of your wrist, but you daren't move it. He slowly fished out the necklace, holding it up to study the delicate chain. He slowly moved his forearm off of you, stepping back and staring at you with wide eyes.

As soon as he was the step back, you pulled your wrist to your chest. Kaz's eyes flickered from you to the giant Frejdan in the middle of you.

"Can you..?"

You shook your head, "Maybe," you pulled your wrist away from your chest and flexed your fingers. Pain shot up your arm, causing your face to twist in a grimace.

"You are..." Matthias paused, "...Grisha."

You nodded, "I was our ticket out of here."

Kaz scowled at the Frejdan, something about his look made you think he might leave the Drüskelle here after all.

"I'll make it work," You said, pushing the pain to the back of your mind to continue with the job.

Kaz looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. He tried to move over as much as he could letting you shuffle past and stand in front of the door.

You turned to look at the druskelle, "Don't make any noises, they will hear it."

Matthias' brows pinched together, he looked to Kaz for an explanation but the boy just ordered him to stay close.

You took a deep breath, forcing your broken hand to open so that you could summon. Moving your fingers was hard, they were reluctant to dance like usual when you summoned. You pressed past it, drawing the shadows to conceal your group, opening the door slowly and sneaking out. Kaz and Matthias stayed close behind you, following you all around the room back to the exit. As you solely opened the door, a far-off bell started to sound.

"Jesper," Kaz said quietly.

You nodded, quietly slipping into the corridor and ushering Kaz and Matthias in too. You dropped the shadows once the door closed, ignoring the incredulous stare Matthias was giving you. Kaz led the way back through the corridors and winding hallways, leaning heavily on his cane as he walked. You knew that the time he had spent off it must have caused him pain, you felt bad that the plan had gone so terribly wrong.

Kaz seemed to always have a backup plan because he led you and Matthias out of Helgate like a man on a mission. You stumbled along behind him, keeping your wrist held to your chest. Kaz led you and Matthias down a stairway, the door at the end lead into the night air. You were surprised to find a small balcony, a rotten wooden platform perched on the rocks. The saltwater had eroded away the wood on the front, making it creak and flake dangerously under your feet. Kaz made quick work of slipping down the platform and onto the rocks, he pressed his palm against the wall to steady himself. He turned back to you and Matthias waiting impatiently for you both to follow him. Matthias went first, stepping down easily, making the drop look like a small step. You tried to step down with some sense of balance, but your foot found a slippery rock and you tripped forward. You hit into Kaz, who steadied you with a hand to your bad arm. You hissed and recoiled, watching Kaz's face change.

"Sorry," You whispered, noticing how he swallowed thickly, panic barely contained in his eyes.

Kaz took a moment, looking at your genuine expression. He knew that you knew, but you made no move to ask about it his weakness. For that, he was grateful.

Kaz pushed out of his haunted thoughts, turning and leading the way across the rocks and around the outside of Hellgate. You had been walking for ten minutes when the rocks started to mix with chunks of rubble. Walking on the rocks with the rubble moving underneath your feet became harder. You all slowed down and clung to the wall for the extra support it gave.

"Saints," You murmured when you came across the gaping hole in the wall made by Wylans explosives.

"Wylan knows what he's doing," Kaz quipped, slight amusement in his tone.

It took your small group at least two hours to get back to the Slat. The majority of that time was spent in a tiny row boat getting sloshed by freezing water. You were sat next to Kaz while Matthias rowed, you had offered your help but he had huffed in Frejdan something that seemed like 'I can do it myself'.

By the time you all had entered the Slat, there had been no one on the streets and you were freezing. Matthias seemed to be dealing with the cold best, no doubt his childhood in the icy Frejda had trained him well. You and Kaz were shivering as you stumbled along, all of you were damp from your trip on the sea. Your skirts were soaked, making them heavier and heavier as you walked.

Stepping into the Slat would usually warm you up, but this time it didn't. You could see Wylan and Jesper sitting at the bar, watching Nina pace up and down. They all snapped to look at you when the door slammed shut behind you. Nina let out a tiny squeal, running and throwing herself into Matthias' arms. You and Kaz looked on briefly before stumbling further into the room.

"Saints," Jesper looked both of you up and down, "We thought maybe you'd died."

You let out a chuckle, "You can't kill weeds."

Kaz looked at you surprised and you offered him a smile.

"What happened?" Wylan asked, watching Nina and Matthias approach arm in arm.

Kaz fixed Matthias with a glare, "Your oaf broke Y/N's wrist."

Nina looked from Matthias to you, then stepped forward to assess your wrist. You offered her your hand without complaint, letting her heal it the little she could.

"It was a mistake," You defended Matthias, mostly from Kaz's dark stare.

Later that night, which had turned more to early morning, you sought out Kaz in his room. You had changed into dry clothes, your wrist wrapped to keep it steady until morning when you would find a healer. You walked up to Kaz's door, then hesitated. What if he was asleep?

You knocked anyway, gently so as to not startle him.

"Yes?"

You pushed the door open, stepping into the room slightly. Kaz didn't even turn from his perch at his desk to look at you.

"I- uh," Your voice came out much quieter than you were expecting, almost sounding broken.

Kaz stopped scribbling on the paper on front of him.

"I just wanted to ask," You spoke clearer this time, "If you were okay?"

Kaz turned to look at you this time, surprised. After a few days with the bastard of the barrel, you had gotten better at reading his subtle emotions. Even the ones he tried to hide deep in his eyes. Like the anxiety when you touched him, or again on the boat.

Kaz didn't answer, he didn't have to.

"You don't have to answer," You said after a moment of silence passed, "Everyone has their..." You searched for the right word.

"Weaknesses," Kaz said.

"Weaknesses." You agreed.

You took a small step forward, testing the waters. Kaz didn't tell you to back off or look fearful.

"We all have them," You continued.

Kaz nodded once, "And you?"

You smiled, "Dirtyhands doesn't know?"

Kaz looked away and sighed in exasperation.

You stepped closer, approaching the desk, "It's this."

You summoned your shadows, forming them into a small tangled shape in your palm. The shadows reached up your arm, trying to tangle their way around you. You dismissed them, staring at the empty space above your palm.

Kaz thought about how wrong you were.

"If you ever need to share," You took a step back, "I'll be here."

You left him at his desk, exiting the room and closing the door behind you. Maybe it would take some time, but you were willing to wait if it meant becoming someone Kaz Brekker could rely on.