Then I Knew Right At That Moment, Everything Is Now Different.

Then I knew right at that moment, everything is now different.

When you see so much truth about this

Idris Elba: Speech on diversity in the media and film

I’m here to talk about diversity. Diversity in the modern world is more than just skin colour. It’s gender, age, disability, sexual orientation, social background, and - most important of all, as far as I’m concerned – diversity of thought. Because if you have genuine diversity of thought among people making TV & film, then you won’t accidentally shut out any of the groups I just mentioned.

One thing I noticed about myself these days is that I'm getting more and more attached to my bed and sleeping but it isn't just because "I'm tired". This is probably me having a hard time adjusting to my new school—or I'm at least hoping that it really is about that. Cutting some ties with the people and things I was once surrounded by is definitely not a good sign. I'm gonna give it some time.

It’s good to do this sometimes.

To the one who got away

I don’t consider myself great when it comes to words. I always find myself struggling whenever I try to find the perfect words for something dahil ‘di ko kayang pabanguhin ang mga salita. Siguro kasi habang tumatagal, kumokonti yung nagiging inspirasyon ko sa pagsulat at salita. O siguro dahil hindi rin mabango ang realidad na meron ako. Pero for this time, gumawa ako ng isang tula (na gagawin naming kanta. Yes, namin.) para sa isang espesyal na tao sa’kin.

Hindi ko man kayang sabihin sa’yo sa paraan ng pagbigkas, aawitin ko nalang sa’yo ang mga katagang matagal ko nang nais sabihin. 

Ito ay isang paalam ng huli.

// 040417 

And now I know

I’ve been suffering for the past three years because of what we have become. April 6, 2017, your birthday, made me very reluctant of the plans I thought I have well-thought of. You already look happier. I wouldn’t want to take that away by bringing you a problem only I couldn’t solve. 

But I still did it. 

I messaged you. I wished you a very happy birthday and told you the things that bothered me since the very first time we became something. No, we’re not a couple. I don’t even know what we are. What I only know is that we have something fragile going on between us. People are desperately trying to find out what it is, but how would they even understand if we, ourselves, don’t get it at all? 

But now, with that message, it was clear that we don’t need other people to understand. 

It is us that needs the understanding. Finally, we understood it last night. 

And now I know, we’ll both go on with our lives without carrying the mess of the past. I can finally say that I’m relieved and that I’m ready to move forward too. 

Thank you for making things a little better than it should. 

You might not see this letter, but I wanted to tell you that I’m finally loosening my hold to that hope. You have a special place in my heart, you always do.

// 040617