Everything Is Changing And It Feels Like Spring Came Too Quickly

everything is changing and it feels like spring came too quickly

it's sunny and bright outside this weird February

and everything seems to be changing so rapidly

and I've come to realise everything is dependant on a perspective

when I saw an angel from a weird angle

the bright sun making it's features distorted

and lately I've been cold in more ways than just one

and today I felt like crying about everything

and I did when you held me at a bus stop and told me you're grateful to have me

and we talked about the future

or the lack of it

in the time we had until your ride home came

both decided on a silent life and nice cafes

I need you to know you're a good kid

and I know you're going places

• places better than this one - zero (me)

(on friends who hold your head like they're afraid of hurting you in any way. on having no future but still hoping for at least another summer. I came back home with cold finger tips and this poem scribbled on my hands. I told you about my ideas for my poetry but now you're in one.)

and I never asked to be a poet

but when I don't write

I always make a line

it's just a quick decision

whether I cut it

or snort it

and I could make myself bleed

or I could make a living

writing these sad lyrics

and shouting at strangers

doing both is working out

for how long? guess I'll try

to find out, and hopefully

make it out alive

"lyricist" - zero (me)

[it's yet another song draft rather than a poem but ayyyy writing block!!!! ]

I can't believe it all

how great I've been

and I've been

sleeping thru all nights

without shedding a tear

and I've been content

in the choices I've made

I haven't skipped

a single breakfast in a while

and I prayed every night

without swearing at all

I've gone out with friends

almost every single day

and I came back before

it could get too dark

and I've been fine I swear

I'm just a little tired

but it's nothing

tonight I'll go

way earlier to bed

• lies I told my mother - zero (me)

actually, yet again it's a song bit, but I thought I'd post it

there aren't any words in which I could put the purest act of your love that is sitting with me at night and listening to me complain about writing poems and songs

I hope you realise all the love in them is for you

somewhere on your way you lose the want for sleep at night

you stay up until the sun shines through your window and fall asleep once your house stirs

the nights are long and you haven't felt so alone in so long

and on those nights

nothing has a face

the whole world is all eyes

there's something missing

the missing poster is missing a face

the mirror is missing a reflection

you're missing feeling at home

you're missing your old self

you're missing yourself

and on those nights

you don't have a face

" reflectionless " - zero (me)

around the dinner table

comes a story not so old

that they think does not

resonate anymore

about crooked floorboards

and cold water for months

and saving all your money

in order to save yourself

and when it ends they

hand you some cash since

these times are past us

but you know you're wise

and so put money in a jar

hidden from everyone

you have to save up

in order to save yourself

the times have never and

will never change

• savings jar - zero (me)