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Buffy 5x20-5x21 and A Long Way Home
A close friend of mine is a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I never watched it, although I've seen other TV shows helmed by the brilliant and risk-taking Joss Whedon. One day we were analyzing one show (I'll leave it unmentioned) that tried to use similar themes as a short myth arc from Buffy. The two did not compare. But something amazing was happening. As my friend described Buffy's dilemma, I found myself filling in the blanks before she could finish her sentences. Because it made sense. I'd already tackled a similar value and character revealing duty vs. duty crisis in Jon Snow, in ALWH.
For years, I was not aware of this, because GRRM's 5-book foundation made it so easy to play with his themes. The fic was well-reasoned, however, it garnered backlash that left a sour taste in my mouth. (More on this later.)
Here's the rundown on Buffy's 5x20-5x21 myth arc. A moment of crisis gives way to a major character giving up by entering a catatonic state. Buffy's duty as a Slayer and her duty to her sister Dawn are in direct conflict:
Glory getting her hands on Dawn means the end of the world. Killing Dawn is the safest way to prevent this. Buffy spends 5x20 "Spiral" fighting against this idea, leading to Giles being severely injured and Glory capturing Dawn. If Glory opens the portal, Dawn must die to close it, otherwise everyone dies. 5x21 "The Weight of the World" isn't just Buffy grappling with her guilt, it's also her working through a moral conundrum. Is one innocent girl worth the entire world? What comes first - Buffy's calling/duty to the world or her love/duty to her sister? Buffy comes out of the episode with the moral conflict resolved. In the end, she chooses her sister. If that means the end of the world, she feels that they aren't in a world worth having around. It's a great exploration of Buffy's character and her values.
What a RELIEF!
When I began writing A Long Way Home in 2017, I wanted to change things up from my previous Jonerys fics. I went for "post-GoT 6x09, Jon and Dany meet by chance, but for once the revelation of his parentage doesn't bring them together, it keeps them apart."
Long story short, after they became lovers, once home he found out who he is, lost his nerve and ghosted her, then returned to pursue a second chance with her.
Spicy, but I figured it would give people something to chew on, ways to reflect on their lives as the hero of their own story, and as lovers. Would they crumble under the weight of Jon's circumstances and hesitate to return? Would they prepare themselves for disappointment and even forgive, as Dany had? Would they freeze and choke even once they could no longer justify their silence on a secret? But there was pretty sour backlash. Over the years, I wondered, is this fic too mature for some readers or am I being insensitive to the characters?
Once or twice I considered deleting the fic.
But I refused to budge. Jon's POV in the past makes him look like a fuckboy and Dany's POV in the present makes him look even more like a fuckboy. Therein lies the reason for their estrangement, which we must discover chapter by chapter.
In fact, when I finally applied Buffy's 5x20-21 arc to ALWH, I found that everything was similar. The core:
Jon is exhausted from war (and more). He spent so much time at war, ranging, arranging and politicking at the Wall (like never done before), to then to be mutinied against, captured and nearly slain again after battling the Bolton's. That he feels guilty for the fact that he knew their alliance might not be accepted and moreover because they're blood-related tops off a crushing crisis he's long been unaware of.
The middle shell:
The pain...the fear...choking almost gives a sense of relief, is a self-fulfilled prophecy. To relinquish the responsibility of loving her, continuing their line (Targ) and the fallout that could come to both their Houses and families if the alliance was not accepted by the Northern. Of risking the tens of thousands of lives in their charge…
The outer shell:
Jon has made mistakes. Although he has failed her, he has not lost his faith. The only way to lose her for good is to not get out there, not fight for her, not fight for the world. For no matter what person does, there's always a path forward. Crisis resolved.
Turns out, there wasn't a problem. I just needed to understand the main conflict more deeply (see Buffy) then go back to make Jon's crisis more apparent. There needed to be more details on the promises he and Dany made before he left Dragonstone, to make it less likely to conclude he abandoned her. That was all!
So I want to thank my bestie Diana, Jonerys readers and Buffy for all of the help. Tying up those loose ends helped me muster up the courage to return to my outline in the continuance of the fic series "We Could Live Together" and start planning the many, many details involved in making it a satisfying story.
Jon's still got an inferiority complex and Dany still runs from the trauma of loss. As remaining high lords seek to ensnare them in the game of thrones, they're both still trying to figure out how to be their own person, yet avoid becoming what they fear. Hopefully I'll manage to put their trials on the page and hit PUBLISH. In the meantime I want to keep sharing ideas as they have developed, as that’s about 1/2 of writing.