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A Thousand Times Over

Jumin Han x MC / Reader

Mystic Messenger

a/n: Two updates??? After how many months of nothing? You can thank the bathtub scene from the MDZS Audio Drama for this one.

Very slight citrus ahead.

You take Jumin by the hand and lead him away from the crowd of the party. It isn't often that you feel you have to insert yourself, but now more than ever after his surprise proposal, did you need to make yourself heard. And of all the people here—a warmth blooms along the bridge of your nose—you knew Jumin would listen most willingly. The two of you stop at a secluded corner, well away from prying eyes or ears.

"What is it, my dear?" He asks softly, as if he knows he is there for a reprimand.

You take a moment to compose yourself, "So the proposal?"

There's a conflicted and hurt glance that flashes across his eyes. You know the feeling. In the past eleven days, the two of you had been through so much. Even now you yourself know that. In the face of it all, you had risked kidnapping, a bomb-scare, threat via Sarah and Glam Choi (which in hindsight of the other two were hardly threats at all)—so much brought you and Jumin closer together. You had seen so much into the fragile mind of what made Jumin Han the way he is. 

The way you love him.

You sigh after a moment and gently cup his face. His storm grey eyes dazzle to light as if lit by lightning and he pauses like a deer-in-headlights within your hold. Your thumb finds purchase along the upward swell of his cheekbone, and you can't help but lightly swipe along the smooth skin there. 

He relaxes and whispers with reverence, "I apologize...if I was too hasty."

"You weren't too hasty," you interrupt before silencing yourself. You want to be careful about what you say before you say it.

Jumin is patient.

There is no regret in regards to him asking to marry you. The answer is one that you would make a thousand times over, the outcome the same each and every instance. But under the circumstances of your stay in the past eleven days, your relationship had hardly reached romantic partners let alone lovers. You wanted to make sure that he was as ready as he could be, not just you. For a man who closely guarded his heart, these were swift steps to take all at once. 

Jumin leans in suddenly and it causes you to reel back to reality. 

"Can I help you?" You try to be serious, really. But there is an amused hint at the edge of your voice that you cannot hide.

Jumin smiles. It is shy yet bright, elusive yet radiant. It is Jumin. "When you worry, your face is quite cute."

In that moment you realize that he is ready, and before you know it—the world tugs you into motion. Your hands bring his face closer, and you press a fervent kiss against his lips. His body once again seizes and you feel his breath stutter in his chest like a bird fluttering haphazardly. Every moment of his lips against yours is warm, and you have to ground yourself to his touch in order to not get lost in the dizzying sensation. 

When you pull away from him he exhales heavily and there is a tender blush that creeps along his cheeks and his ears.

"You weren't too hasty," you murmur. "Because I think no matter what, my answer will be the same. But...I can't help but wonder, how do I marry someone whom I've only kissed once?"

Understanding grows in his expression. 

"You told me to be greedy, that with you, whenever I want is fine." You're starting to feel like maybe you aren't making sense. "But you've always held yourself back. Even in this extravagant display for me. A proposal, a gift to me because of your care and love for me, there was hardly little in return for you. When will you gift yourself, Jumin?"

He stares owlishly and utters out, "Gift myself?"

"Yeah, you know…" Your hands slip from his face to his shoulders, resting comfortably. "You're always offering yourself to others. Offering your services, your money…in my case, you. But when will you let yourself be selfish? When will you truly and honestly give yourself a break?"

"You want me to be selfish?" His face has gone blank and there is something inscrutable in those stormy eyes of his.

"With me you can be selfish, you don't have to restrain yourself to look perfect," you realize that's what it always boils down to. Jumin, your lovely and quirky and considerate Jumin, versus Jumin Han the corporate heir who has both face and reputation to uphold. "You can take and no one will fault you for that."

He is quiet. 

"You must know how important it is for you to be loved and appreciated. Not just me." There's one last card in your grasp to convey your emotions, because words are so much harder to utilize. You stand up on your tiptoes. This time gentler, this time softly—your lips graze his, and you repeat his words. "Jumin. Will you let me be your life companion? My love."

You're not ready for the feverish crash of lips against yours, of your body being pressed against the wall as Jumin towers above you. Your mouth tilts into a smile as you lace your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. His shoulders shudder and his hand tilts your jaw, granting him better access. Everything is disorienting, and in this little hidden corner of your world, you allow Jumin to freely take from you. Your breath staggers and it feels as though you can no longer tell up from down. That's fine. Because as Jumin takes, you give so openly and freely.

He gasps in surprise as you bring him impossibly flush against you, mouth and lips and tongue pressing ever urgently into his. His nose bumps against yours, and he makes the smallest of sounds. Something sparks in your chest and you chase it. You wish to hear his little noises a thousand times over and feel the touch of his lips and skin a thousand times more. Fingers dig into your hips and the hand along your jaw is a firm anchor. You realize that he too is chasing after each noise and each little reaction of yours. 

Someone, perhaps Jaehee, calls both yours and his name from across the hall. 

Jumin shudders as if he is torn, and in a bout of rebellious pettiness, you flick your tongue between the part of his lips. You've never taken Jumin as someone who is overtly daring—perhaps bold in the way he presents himself—but never quite someone you would say is reckless. But he surprises you. In return his gives a quick bite to your tongue followed by an even quicker suck—eliciting a shocked whimper from you. 

Your knees tremble.

He pulls away slowly after that, running his thumb along your swollen bottom lip. "I'll have you know I was a perfectly sane man before you told me to be selfish."

It takes you a moment to recover, and you lick his thumb lightly. "Well if I'd known I'd get that for telling you to be selfish, I'd had done it sooner."

He chuckles, it is low and baritone, and it sends a swell of happiness through you. For once he seems so genuinely happy, so himself. And you gave that to him.

Your names are called again. 

He leans down and takes one more kiss from you, and you are more than happy to oblige. 

"So, uh, are you going to be selfish every day...or…?" you drawl out. 

This time he laughs, and the world trembles around you at the crystalline sound. Another item to your thousand times list. Definitely another item.

"Don't tempt me," he hums, his eyes lowered contently. "Be good."

"Aren't I always?" You gaze up at him eagerly.

"If that were the case…" He straightens out your outfit and then his, making sure the both of you are presentable. "Then maybe every day."

You chirp innocently at him and he shakes his head with another soft bout of laughter. Together you two make it back to the hall, where he apologizes to Jaehee—explaining you both had needed some air and a moment. She gazes unamused and ready to chew him out for pulling such a publicity nightmare for the RFA is party. But when you glance up at him from the corners of his eyes, his gaze is distant and blissful. There is a blush on his nose that isn't normally there.