Adam Radford - Tumblr Posts
brand new prized possession just dropped
adam is alive au but lawrence hid the fact he's an apprentice for this reason
i'm such a freak so drabble under the cut 👍
you could say they were dating or wont but it's still the same. lawrence has hid it for months, maybe even years.
when adam eventually figures out and all hell breaks loose.
"so what? you try to play his games on me too? make me think you're my savior? you really were behind it all this time. you shot me, left me to bled out, and left me for days just for your game? and it didn't even work! does diana know? does allison? you gonna test me again?"
he would probably storm out and just walk around aimlessly before realizing he's literally nothing without lawrence after the trap. (he's alive and nothing).
lawrence would 100% go find him and adam would go back "just because i need somewhere to stay" (he missed him).
adam wouldn't trust him for a while, reasonably so. he had put his entire life in lawrence, for gods sake.
he would come around eventually, but it would take lots of trust rebuilding and a long, long while.
do i think adam would become an apprentice? fuck no. but as long as lawrence was safe and adam wasn't a part of it, i think after a while it would go back to normal-ish.
bonus angst (ooc) points: lawrence exploiting adam's photography for jigsaw without him knowing
i don't agree with adam stanheight becoming an apprentice, I think he'd have a lot of hatred towards kramer and have a lot of trauma from the trap so anything jigsaw related would really piss him off. also if he found out lawrence was an apprentice he'd cut him off immediately and be super upset
doing some research about adam's possible injuries (his arm, shoulder, ankle, immune system, etc.) for an analysis i'll probably post tomorrow. anything i should remember/you guys want included?
update: posted! check my recent :)
"No matter how many times Lawrence reassured Adam he would come back, Adam knew he wouldn’t. Lawrence seemed to know this too, despite the looming denial in his gut. He felt the need to make it up to the man. Maybe that's why Lawrence Gordon is letting this man, who he just shot, kiss him like he’s the air around him."
I just woke up from a dream where I wrote chain shipping fan fiction and this is all I remember
listen to 'this night has opened my eyes' by the smiths while reading!
adam's medical analysis from a teenager who has no idea what he's doing but has internet access >_<.
why does no one talk about adam's injuries after the bathroom trap?
obviously his shoulders messed up, yeah, but what else? well in this hypothetical we'll assume that instead of amanda coming to kill adam it's larry coming to save him. it's estimated that this was three(?) days after the bathroom trap.
realistically he would be incredibly malnourished and would die from dehydration unless he drank the water from the bathtub/toilet (let's say he did in this au) which would cause him diseases such as sepsis, cholera, e. coli, the such. and if any one of you goes “well! he could have eaten zepp!” i’m not even entertaining that. obviously, sure, he could have, but for my own sake let's say he didn’t. sorry guys i’m not that committed
another reason i don’t think he would eat zepp is because he was barely alive when mandy killed him. his fight or flight kicked in and thats why he went so hard. this motherfucker got electrocuted several times after he was shot. he almost immediately gave up on moving unless necessary.
his ankle would probably be rubbed raw and sprained. i couldn't find a lot of information about ankle shackling and what it does… so… i’m just guessing at this point. not to mention the fact they’re both barefoot? adam probably stepped on the glass he threw several times. you can hear glass crunching under mandy’s boot in saw three. that's how loud it is.
he would probably need physical therapy. not as much for his leg as larry, but definitely some.
back to his shoulder: assuming he didnt die of shock. adam still has his overshirt from the beginning of the movie. he could have taken advice from lawrence and put that onto his shoulder and stopped his bleeding. but since he didn’t, let’s assume the best solution is losing mobility in his right shoulder/arm.
adam’s immune system would also be incredibly shit after this. he’d probably be feverish, delusional, etc. when we saw mandy killing adam he looked like he was having delusions.
when adam is killed by mandy he starts coughing up blood (given this was after he hit his head) but we can also argue that this is another side effect? of what, you may be wondering. idfk some problems. maybe electrocution!
again with the malnourishment i feel like it would be hard for him to eat after this because like.. he’d get sick a lot… i guess…
tldr: adam would be malnourished and unable to eat for a while, his ankle would be sprained and rubbed raw, defo has an infection, no immune system, little to no function in right arm, feet would also get very cut up.
---
now, his canon death. let's talk about it, shall we? he got his head bashed in and suffocated. the man threw up his own blood. three things that definitely cause death! i think this is the order it happened since no one can decide. concussion, throws up own blood, chokes on it, since he can’t breath to begin with, he dies from asphyxiation. if we follow matpat’s theory that he faked his death, we can argue back that even if he somehow survived that he would almost 100% die from his concussion or choking on his own sick.
tldr: adam is dead :(
---
also adam wears combat boots. this isn’t important by any means. i just wanted to point it out. and his boxers look hella cool. They’re just polka dots but i like them lots.
anyways guys like and follow for a part two feel free to tell me to add things in reblogs/comments and i will share my opinion. Remember i am not a doctor i’m just a teenager with webmd and a dad who said it was pretty accurate! if ur shot go to the hospital trust. umm yeah:3
sun to me - zach bryan
things i've remembered i was going to add:
-attachment issues. if he sees lawrence again and they get close(r) (especially in the hospital) he would never let that motherfucker go. if you call it a traumabond or true love, either work.
-he was probably seizing. there's such a strong possibility he would have bit his tongue off or some shit, idk I've never had a seizure so I'm not 100% sure what happens...
YEAH anyways
listen to 'this night has opened my eyes' by the smiths while reading!
adam's medical analysis from a teenager who has no idea what he's doing but has internet access >_<.
why does no one talk about adam's injuries after the bathroom trap?
obviously his shoulders messed up, yeah, but what else? well in this hypothetical we'll assume that instead of amanda coming to kill adam it's larry coming to save him. it's estimated that this was three(?) days after the bathroom trap.
realistically he would be incredibly malnourished and would die from dehydration unless he drank the water from the bathtub/toilet (let's say he did in this au) which would cause him diseases such as sepsis, cholera, e. coli, the such. and if any one of you goes “well! he could have eaten zepp!” i’m not even entertaining that. obviously, sure, he could have, but for my own sake let's say he didn’t. sorry guys i’m not that committed
another reason i don’t think he would eat zepp is because he was barely alive when mandy killed him. his fight or flight kicked in and thats why he went so hard. this motherfucker got electrocuted several times after he was shot. he almost immediately gave up on moving unless necessary.
his ankle would probably be rubbed raw and sprained. i couldn't find a lot of information about ankle shackling and what it does… so… i’m just guessing at this point. not to mention the fact they’re both barefoot? adam probably stepped on the glass he threw several times. you can hear glass crunching under mandy’s boot in saw three. that's how loud it is.
he would probably need physical therapy. not as much for his leg as larry, but definitely some.
back to his shoulder: assuming he didnt die of shock. adam still has his overshirt from the beginning of the movie. he could have taken advice from lawrence and put that onto his shoulder and stopped his bleeding. but since he didn’t, let’s assume the best solution is losing mobility in his right shoulder/arm.
adam’s immune system would also be incredibly shit after this. he’d probably be feverish, delusional, etc. when we saw mandy killing adam he looked like he was having delusions.
when adam is killed by mandy he starts coughing up blood (given this was after he hit his head) but we can also argue that this is another side effect? of what, you may be wondering. idfk some problems. maybe electrocution!
again with the malnourishment i feel like it would be hard for him to eat after this because like.. he’d get sick a lot… i guess…
tldr: adam would be malnourished and unable to eat for a while, his ankle would be sprained and rubbed raw, defo has an infection, no immune system, little to no function in right arm, feet would also get very cut up.
---
now, his canon death. let's talk about it, shall we? he got his head bashed in and suffocated. the man threw up his own blood. three things that definitely cause death! i think this is the order it happened since no one can decide. concussion, throws up own blood, chokes on it, since he can’t breath to begin with, he dies from asphyxiation. if we follow matpat’s theory that he faked his death, we can argue back that even if he somehow survived that he would almost 100% die from his concussion or choking on his own sick.
tldr: adam is dead :(
---
also adam wears combat boots. this isn’t important by any means. i just wanted to point it out. and his boxers look hella cool. They’re just polka dots but i like them lots.
anyways guys like and follow for a part two feel free to tell me to add things in reblogs/comments and i will share my opinion. Remember i am not a doctor i’m just a teenager with webmd and a dad who said it was pretty accurate! if ur shot go to the hospital trust. umm yeah:3
i saw a metaphor (on a chainshipping fanfic of all things) and it was like, adam feels like he's made of smoke and honestly i have never felt anything so deeply
adam and larry who hurt each other like pressing cigarettes against skin.
umm its been one year since the first time i watched saw (2004)!!! i made it five minutes thru and didn't get hyperfixated for another ten months but who's counting
repost of my chainshipping fluff since it got two likes </3 (watch me add 17 million tags) slow-burn fluffy lovey cute shit under the cut!
Through coastal towns, and coffee shops, bustling cities, and grungy motels, Adam and Lawrence found a home. They had grown so used to spending painful nights stuck in the hospital, their skin flushed as they grew closer.
Adam suspects it's Lawrence's guilt. His need to stay with Adam to make up for leaving him. That if he leaves, so will Adam.
While yes, that's a big part of it, Lawrence also finds comfort in the bubbling sensation of his lower gut. The warmth and Adam's furrowed brow, in his swear filled sentences, in his puffs of cigarette smoke. When they were originally in the hospital, Adam wouldn't leave him for a second.
(Lawrence for sure he wouldn't ever live down the confused glare Allison gave him when she entered their shared room to see Adam curled into Lawrence's side, fast asleep.)
But now Lawrence finds himself chasing Adam wherever he goes.
When they both thought it was too much to stay. They piled into the shared car and drove.
Beaches were hard for Lawrence with his leg, grungy motels bothered Adam's shoulder, but despite it, they found comfort in each other's presence.
In slow sleep-ridden breaths. In gentle whispered words. In strokes and hair in circles drawn on backs.
They found ways to make up their love for each other. Adam using gentle hands to hold up the other, while he placed his knub into the plastic prosthetic. Lawrence when he uses precise hands to care for Adam's wound.
Slowly but surely, they found also home in eachother.
i don't smoke (except for when i'm missing you.)
--
1.7k words
adam faulkner-stanheight x lawrence gordon
tropes: m/m, hurt / no comfort, mlm, ghost!adam faulkner-stanheight, slight headcanons, trans!adam faulkner-stanheight, slowburn(?), they're in love they just don't realize it, no happy ending, angst, religious mention once, chainshipping, suggested divorce between ali and larry, lawrence is an apprentice, canon timeline, not betaread we die like adam faulkner-stanheight
note: the title is a reference to the song i don't smoke by mitski! uh yeah! please enjoy:). posted on my ao3.
tags: @mychem1calbr0mance , @st4rcryptid
Every night had the same premise. Lawrence goes to sleep, dreams about Adam, and wakes up.
Tonight is no different. Lawrence is sawing his leg off, but it never comes off. He’s just pressing the blade against his leg and sawing. When he blinks, he has a gun pointed to Adam. Lawrence tries to stop himself from firing it, as if it would change what really happened. But it doesn’t. He puts seven rounds into Adam this time.
Adam looks so young. So painfully young. Because he was. The most youthful he had ever looked. Larry thinks about how that was the youngest and oldest he’ll ever look. And Lawrence took that away from him. Took him away from his parents, his friends, his siblings (if he had any). He murdered Adam. Shot and left him to rot. Took away his life. And now he’s gone. Because of Lawrence. He looked petrified.
He blinks one more time and Adam is bashing in his skull instead of Zepp’s. He looked even younger, even more afraid. and with that, he jerks awake.
His temples are near-exploding and his sheets are soaked. Lawrence’s chair is just far enough it’s painful to grab it and as he collapses in it, his will to shower is now gone.
A ghost dripping blood blurs his way into Lawrence’s vision. A gnawing feeling of guilt curls itself into the blond’s gut. It bubbles and hardens into a deeper feeling similar to rage. At himself, at Adam, whoever his mind can reminisce of. Somehow, Adam dissipating into a soft smoke makes Lawrence’s grief worse.
Lawrence tries to convince himself that Diana is sleeping in her room across the hall, to fill the lonely empty inside of him. It doesn’t work. He knows that Diana is at Alison’s with her new boyfriend. He knows it’s just him. Alone with the ghost of his most guilt ridden victim following him.
The shower dulls the ache in his head and the warmth consuming him like the fires of Hell themself. His foot aches, despite the fact it’s alone, rotting in a bathroom with the decaying corpse of Adam. John hadn’t told Lawrence to come in, so he has all day to pity himself.
His hair drips water down his back that makes him shiver. He can feel Adam’s presence (or the lack thereof) in the room with him. Lawrence wants nothing more than to call out. To scream at him. He closes his laptop and shoves his work to the side.
An empty balcony clouded with smoke is Lawrence’s favorite place as of recent. The sting of cigarette smoke reminds him of the irony of his job. The irony of it all. He’s a cancer doctor, who’s smoking. He’s a doctor who saves people, yet couldn’t save the one person that mattered most. He’s supposed to save people, yet he kills them in his freetime.
“Larry.” Adam chirps out. He’s smiling. “Thought you didn’t smoke?”
Lawrence’s face pulls into a mix of annoyance and longing. He sighs deeply before thinking of a response. “I didn’t. And then I did. Simple as that.”
Adam seems to take this answer before the corners of his lips quirk up once again. “You’re kinda pathetic, y’know?” He smirked like the Joker himself possessed Adam’s facial muscles. “I mean, really Lawrence. Smoking for someone you knew for six hours before you killed him? You didn’t even know me.”
“Exactly. I didn’t know you. Nobody knows you. You told me you were alive and nothing, and you were right.” Lawrence had to pause when he felt bile creep up his throat. “That’s why I feel guilty.”
That reasoning shuts Adam up quickly. Lawrence swears he heard the boy mumble a soft apology before sitting down. “I don’t blame you. I know that… Everything that happened was for a reason. I know that. I know that whatever happened to me was for the better.” He started. “I would have done the same in a heartbeat. I wish someone would have done that for me.” Adam chuckled, but it sounded more sad and pathetic than happy. Then again, everything Adam did was sad and pathetic. John was right.
The younger sits down and looks over at Lawrence. “Are you actually a ghost or did I make you up?” The blonde whispers. It was supposed to be to Adam, but came out like he was talking to no one in particular, and maybe he was. Adam hums in response. “I’m whatever you want me to be, handsome.” He winked. The older man clearly was not thrilled with this response. Adam could tell. He made a noise adjacent to clearing his throat. “Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that I’m not mad at you. Y’know, just… don’t leave me alone wondering where you are.” Adam said softer now. His smirk had melted into a soft and genuine smile.
Lawrence didn’t like how it tugged at him. He rubbed his eyes and put out the cigarette he was smoking, before staring blankly over the balcony as he nodded at Adam’s previous comment.
Paperwork was boring, and that’s all Lawrence could really do except for sleep. So he slept.
When Lawrence opens his eyes, Adam's decayed face floods his view. He's not stupid. It's been two months, he wouldn't look this dead. His jaw is eaten away and his body is pale. Adam's skin like the moonlight reflected off his window.
Lawrence squeezes his eyes closed. When he decides it's been long enough, he unclenches his body. His eyes slowly open. Adam is laying on his side, and his hand is propping up his head.
The older man desperately tries to cool the warm, tingling feeling that Adam's shit eating smirk is causing him.
"Hey, doc." His whiny voice pierces Lawrence's ears. Adam's voice to Lawrence is like a whistle to dogs or the wind humans used to hear. Lawrence feels his throat desperately constrict as he begs it to swallow his shame. "Adam. It's far too late for this."
He's still not sure if the Adam that's in his nightmares is the one haunting him, but he tolerates them both, so why fuss?
Adam stays silent, simply observing Lawrence and seemingly admiring the empty pit he leaves in Lawrence's stomach. His smirk transformed into a softer, more playfully smirk. "Sick of me already? Jeez, Lar, no wonder you left me."
A sour taste other than smoke fills Lawrence's mouth. "Don't call me that." The man said sternly, trying to hide the meek shame in his voice. Lawrence let out a breath he was holding. Talking to each other felt like walking on eggshells. Or landmines.
Looking over at Lawrence, the shorter stays unmoving. Just taking slow and deep breaths. He blinks. Adam is gone, the only remnant being a dent in Lawrence’s pillow, and the faint reminisce of a “sorry” on Larry’s lips.
Remembering Adam is cold. Touching (or the lack thereof) the ghost of Adam is colder. Lawrence is currently hugging the air, gripping it like a vice. His arms are loosely hung around Adam’s neck, and his nose is digging into his collarbone.
This is extra humiliating, because Lawrence is hovering over the air because he can’t touch Adam without his skin ripping through his hands and into the air he breathes.
Adam’s shirt is cotton. It’s soft and wet and soaked in blood. Lawrence tries to grip it but he watches as his wounded shoulder puffs into gas before resolving back. This makes the blond feel worse.
Ugly sobs rip painfully through Lawrence’s throat as it tries to close to ward off the whines and cries. He cries until he thinks he might throw up and some more after that.
He resists the urge to slam his fist desperately into a wall until his knuckles are shreds of skin and muscle. As he clenches his fist where Adam’s hair would be, the ghost whispers shushes to him. Promising he isn’t angry anymore, that Lawrence shouldn’t be either. Lawrence swears up and down he feels ghostly hands sliding up and down his back. The eldest gasps harshly for air.
Lawrence can’t remember the last time he’s cried like this, surely before Diana was born. Maybe even before Alison and him met.
“You’re fine, Lawrence, Jesus Christ!” Adam whispers, unsure of what to do. “Just take a deep breath… let it all out. I can take it… I can take it. I can take your anger, I’ll keep it safe inside me.” If Lawrence knew any better, he would think Adam was speaking gibberish. However, at that moment, Lawrence listened, leaning against Adam and wailing. He wasn’t even sure why. He drove his fist into Adam, even though he couldn’t feel it.
“Yeah, that’s it. If you need to be mean, you can be mean to me. Just lean on me as you break my heart.” Adam said softly, listening as the other tried to mumble stupidly about how he was fine. “Oh, don’t fucking bullshit me. If you were fine, you wouldn’t be crying and punching a ghost.” He scoffed to which Lawrence scoffed too.
The doctor didn’t have the strength to fight back, so he just let himself weep against Adam.
“I want to know more about you, Adam.” Lawrence said, scribbling his signature on various pieces of paper. The brunet perked up.
“What do you want to know?” He smiled up at Lawrence. “Anything.” The eldest whispered.
Adam looked up at the ceiling. “Well, I grew up catholic. I dropped out of highschool. I wanted to be a vet. I took up photography because it was the only thing my brothers weren’t doing. Oh, yeah, I have twelve brothers, I’m the youngest. I overdosed on depression medicine when I was nine. My nose bleeds randomly. I can’t really sleep. I’ve always wanted to fall in love.” Adam listed random items about himself.
Lawrence hums in response. He tries to get choked up. “What about you?” Adam asks.
“I also grew up catholic. I wanted to be in the army growing up. I tried to take my life at 19.” The silence after that was tense enough from Lawrence to make the quiet awkward and calm enough from Adam to make it nice. Lawrence thought before responding again. “And, I’ve also always wanted to fall in love.”
note: rb & comments are always appriciated 💛
quick(ish) doodle i decided to colour kinda...
made a pixel (kind of) doodle of adam, midterms and projects coming up soon so i haven’t had the chance to draw much argh