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Red vs Blue Secret Santa: South's Christmas Escapade

My RvB Secret Santa gift for mspyro! One of the things on her list was a fic showing South in a more positive light! I really like seeing a more three-dimensional approach to her character too! A fair waringing, this is pretty self-indulgent and cheesy. I'm sorry if it's not the best thing I've ever written! If you want something better I'd be happy to tackle another one of your prompts! I hope you had a Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday/fun regular day!

A common misconception aboard the Mother of Invention was that Agent South Dakota was completely heedless.

The assumption was born naturally enough – after all, South Dakota had not historically been delicate with the feelings of others. She couldn’t be counted upon to alter her demeanor to suit the needs of others, even in the direst of situation. No matter how the dynamics around her shifted, she was still South: stubborn, abrasive, and driven .

Most people assumed that she was oblivious to social nuance, that she was too self-absorbed to pay attention to her surroundings. Either she was too dense to care what was going on with the rest of her comrades, or she just didn’t care. South was happy to let them think that. It was easier for everyone. The others didn’t need to know that when she was sitting alone in the mess hall, seemingly brooding, she was really tuning in to her own version of Freelancer Radio.

It was during one of these silent surveillance sessions that she first heard North mention Christmas.

Holidays as the twins were growing up had always morphed into huge affairs, with decorations and seasonal foods, even gifts. Birthdays, Halloween, Easter, they were escapes, excuses to celebrate, ways to make up for the family dysfunction that dominated the rest of the year. Come winter their parents practically vomited Christmas cheer over the house. There were stockings and holly and Christmas cookies; relatives swarmed like flies around a dead animal. After a certain age South had become disillusioned with the festivities, seeing them more as interruptions of her daily life than manifestations of joy.

North, however, had thrived on these occasions. He was always the one humming Christmas carols before November was out the door, the one insisting on putting the star at the top of the tree. He even liked being surrounded by extended family, even though they weren’t far from being complete strangers. South sometimes wondered if he had missed things like holidays since they had joined up. She never asked him, and he never said anything about it.

That day in the mess hall, though, she heard him, his voice warm with fondness, describing in great detail all of his fondest memories of Christmas to his excitable AI, Theta. She could hear the child-like computer program chattering excitedly, occasionally pausing to ooh and ah at one of North’s stories. South tch’d, trying hard not to be amused. She was supposed to be the sour one, after all.

“Do we have Christmas here, North?” She heard Theta asked tentatively, sounding downright hopeful for being essentially an advanced toaster.

North’s chuckle was low and comforting. “I don’t think so buddy,” he said, cheery front faltering ever so slightly. Anyone who didn’t know him as well as South did would have missed it. “It would be nice though, wouldn’t it? You know when we were little South and I were little-”

There was something about the wistfulness in North’s voice that made it claw straight into South’s ears, burrowing into her brain and ruminating there until she knew something had to be done, if only for her own conscience’s sake. People could say anything they wanted about South, but they could never say that she didn’t love her brother.

This was not going to be good for her reputation.

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The whole exploit had proven a bit more difficult than she had originally intended. She had initially hoped that no one else would have to know about her little project, but some of the tasks she had undertaken proved beyond her area of expertise.

In the end, she had to let Connie in on her secret. That was fine, she supposed. If anyone had to see her soft underbelly she was glad it was Connie. She had recruited her friend after a thoroughly exasperating encounter with FILSS. Dealing with supercomputers had never been her strong suit. Connie, on the other hand, knew how to sweet-talk the ship’s AI. CT seemed to know all of the ins and outs of the computer’s programs, and proved much more successful than South at mocking up a simulation. South might have been swayed to show her gratitude had the smaller agent not giggled when she told her what she wanted made.

“Shut up!” South snapped.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s just… so not like you!”

 “I said shut up!” She fixed Connie with her most menacing glare. “I swear to god, if you tell anyone about this I will through you straight out the airlock!”

Under that threat, Connie had been able to summon up a modicum of professionalism.

Worse than Connie, she had had to beg a favor from Wyoming. He was on the squad with the next shore leave, and she needed something from on-planet. She \ tried to convince him to switch her leave dates, but in the end the best she could manage was for him to pick up a package from her. Owing Wyoming a favor made her feel dirty enough, but the way he looked at her when he handed over the package told her he had looked inside. She hoped he could tell from her stare just where his entrails would end up if he dared bring the matter up.

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In the end, the worst part about the whole endeavor was the nerves. She stood in the training room chewing the inside of her cheek as she waited for her brother. He hoped she had gotten the note she had slipped under his door, that York hadn’t picked up it first and hid it from him like the jackass he was. She also hoped that word of her peculiar behavior wasn't spreading around the ship. A great deal of time and effort had gone into building up the persona of the tough, no-nonsense bitch, and she didn’t want the entire thing to crumble because she was caught, heaven forbid, caring about someone. And what if North thought the whole thing was stupid? That they were too old for this kind of thing? What if he laughed and shook his head and gave her that damn look like he was talking to a fucking teenager and not his grown-ass twin sister.

Hell, she was about to cut her losses and run when she heard the clomping of combat boots on the hard metal floor. No turning back now.

“South?” North called out before daring to enter. He sensed something was amiss. “Are you okay? It’s a little late for a sparring session, can it wait until –“

With his first step onto the training floor he almost choked on his words. His widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but Theta’s voice replaced his own.

“Wooow!”

There, standing in the middle of the training room floor was South. Standing behind her was a large, holographic Christmas tree, peppered with glittering colored lights. Her expression lingered somewhere between expectation and nausea.

“Merry Christmas bro.” She said in a small, sheepish voice.

“South…” For a moment she was afraid she was going to get some condescending speech. Luckily, North continued before she had a chance to aim a right hook at his face. “You did all this? For me?”

South shrugged, scuffing her boot against the floor. “Well, you and Theta. I mean, the kid had never seen Christmas, right? It’s not that big of a deal…”  

North’s grin was so radiant South worried he might pull a muscle. Before she had time to wriggle away he had his arms around her in a crushing hug. “It’s a huge deal, South.” He insisted.

“It’s amazing!” Theta chimed in, drifting over to the tree to inspect it. "So pretty!"

South clawed at her brother’s shoulder. “Get off me you big dope! Let go!” North laughed heartily at her squirming but conceded, backing away to give his sister room to breathe.

She tried her hardest to scowl at him, but she doubted very much that North believed her anger. “Alright, whatever. I guess you should open your gift now or something.”

“South…” North began again, but as soon as the box was brandished in his face he amended whatever he had been about to say to, “Is this wrapped in pages of our field manual?”

“Shut up and open it!” South snapped, and North was kind enough not to antagonize him. With Theta watching in what she hoped was computerized glee, North tore the ruined instructions on bomb disposal and rifle maintenance off of the box and popped it opened to reveal a mug emblazoned with the words “World’s Okayest Brother”.

South was once again amazed that he didn’t manage to rupture something with his grin.

“This is great, South. Really, it is. I just….”

“…. Feel bad because you didn’t get me anything. Yeah, I figured you would. I’ve got it covered.” From behind the trunk of the holographic tree she produced a second mug, this one bearing the words “World’s Okayest Sister”.            

“See? It’s like, matching or whatever. I know you like that kind of shit-“

Once again North was hugging her, mug still in hand. South started swatting at him again, but when he tightened his grip she relented and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Alright fine. But you can’t tell anyone about this, got it? Not a single person. Not York. Not Wash. No one.” North inhaled in a way she knew meant he was about to ask a question, so she explained before he could bother. “Can’t have people start thinking I’m soft or anything. They’d walk all over me.”

Her brother was smiling again. She wasn't sure how she knew, given that his chin was on her shoulder. She could just tell.

“Our secret.” He promised.

She let him hang on to her for a few moments longer before she started feeling antsy. She was getting ready to worm out of his grip with North spoke again.

“South?”

“Yeah North?”

North hesitated a minute. “You do know it’s December 9th, right?”

South scowled and socked him in the gut. Lightly. It was Christmas after all.

Look at this nerd. Hey! I finally debuted my Guns for Hire South Dakota cosplay! I’m really happy with how it turned out. I was so excited to put it on for the first time. I felt like such a badass. No one recognized me at the con, but I did get a lot of compliments on the outfit! I’m actually thinking of wearing it again at YoumaCon in October, so if anyone will be there and wants to meet up just drop me a line. The only thing that I may need to reevaluate are the shoulder pads. They were made out of foam and velcroed to the shoulders, but the velcro kept peeling off the fabric because the spikes made the pads too heavy. Also the black paint started chipping pretty badly around the second day, but that can be easily corrected. I have to apologize because I’m terrible at poses and make weird faces when I’m having my picture taken. I’m afraid I just can’t capture South’s amazonian glory! It was a really fun costume though and I can’t wait to wear it againt and get some better pictures. Also shout-out to kozzdraw who helped me edit the pictures! And to my younger brother who sewed the jacket from scratch (with absolutely no experience) and painted the shirt at the last minute.