Alice In Borderland X Reader - Tumblr Posts
This is getting me back to my aib era
I come to your aid, my dear writer!
an idea would be an adhd!gn!reader that always manages to survive, but no one understands how.
they get distracted easily, can't concentrate for too long when someone is explaining the plan, and start wandering off to explore, etc.
everyone think they survive only thanks to the rest of the group
but chishiya is the only one who sees the truth (reader finds important clues at early stages of the game while wandering off, they try to explain what they believe is the right answer (normally being the right answer) but no one manages to understand what they mean because reader doesn't explain their full thought process or forgets to add context, asking simple questions out of curiosity and sometimes helping the group realise stuff, their previous fixations on random hobbies being useful, etc)
also, the reader is usually calm and unbothered about the situation, always in a good mood
people underestimate them a lot

gn reader with adhd x Alice In Borderland
It was time to play another game, you had only two days left on your visa which left you with no other choice. Hatter teamed you up with Kuina and Chishiya, something that made you feel safer. You drove to the location of your assigned game, a mansion in the Aoyama area, one of the wealthiest in Tokyo. You enter the entrance hall and each grab a phone off the table. In the room are two other players waiting for the game to start. A man fitting the aesthetic of the area, wearing an expensive watch and an even more expensive-looking suit is tapping his foot impatiently on the marble floor. And a posh older woman who could easily be your grandmother, fidgeting with her pearl necklace.
Chishiya immediately starts analyzing the people and the room while Kuina greets the other players. The registration closes and an arrow appears pointing to an opening door, everyone hurries inside and the door closes behind you. On your phones appear the ace of clubs and a voice starts explaining the rules. “Game: escape room. Find clues and get out of the room in time.” You laugh “An ace? We’re definitely gonna ace this” you look at your friends to see if they got your joke, Chishiya rolls his eyes while Kuina snorts. They got used to your humor by now but you never skip the opportunity to make a cheesy joke to lighten the mood.
“Thirty minutes left.” You look up at Chishiya as he begins speaking: “Okay, the room is big so let’s split up to cover the ground faster. Share everything…” You look around the room as your attention is pulled to a big bookcase. You tilt your head to read the titles. “I loved this book, ooh, Kuina you will really like this one!” “... and lastly we need a code to open that door.” Chishiya ends his little instruction talk. Everyone splits up to look for clues, the room is basically a large living room. Decorated with lavish couches and baroque art. After scanning the shelf with books you notice an aquarium with a small turtle. You smile as you watch it move, becoming hypnotized by the cute animal.
Meanwhile, the others were searching frantically for the key that would open a box. You got taken out of your trance when someone yanked you backward. “Search the fucking key you idiot” the posh asshole swears as he grips the front of your shirt. Immediately Chishiya and Kuina come to your aid. “Look violence isn’t gonna solve this game, so leave him alone” Kuina speaks. The guy lets go of you and points at the box, “We need a key to open it, search for it.“ You take it from Chishiya’s hands and examine it. It’s a wooden box, decorated with flowers, one flower stands out, a carnation. “Hey, Kuina did you know that a green carnation used to be a symbol to show that you were queer. It was popularized by…” You rush to the bookshelf as the others stand in confusion, your fingers trace the names of authors until you find the one you’re looking for: Oscar Wilde. You take it off the shelf and read the title. “The Picture Of Dorian Gray” you exclaim “I loved this book! The way Wilde portrays the dark side of humanity…” “Y/N!” Kuina signals. “Oops sorry. Does anyone have a knife?” “I do” the old woman proclaims while waving her purse in the air. She pulls the knife out of it but hesitates to hand it over. “What are you going to…” Chishiya snatches it from her before she’s able to finish her sentence. “Just trust them.”
He gives you the knife and you walk determined towards the portrait hanging above the fireplace and slash it. Behind the canvas a key appears, you grab it and toss it at Kuina who opens the box. “Ten minutes left.” The box contains a riddle that gets rapidly solved by Chishiya, the riddle leads to another clue. It keeps on going like this and it looks like you were almost there. You slowly gravitate back to the turtle.
“Five minutes left” the voice chimes. Behind you, the others cheer because they found the final code. You join them as Chishiya types it in. The door opens but you were met with another one. A sorrowful sigh left the older lady and the man punches the wall. The door was beautiful, so would have been escaping but you could just as well admire the craftwork that went into making the door. Beautiful curves, leaves, a turtle. A turtle. “One minute left.” You reach for the wooden turtle and start pushing it. It moved. You copy the unusual trail of the actual turtle, which had made you so interested in it in the first place: a triangle.
The door opens and everyone leaps through just in time before the floor collapses. You look at your friends in shock before grinning widely. “I fucking love you y/n” Kuina sighs as she pulls you into a hug, Chishiya pats your back “Well done.”
notes: I hope you enjoyed it! it was fun writing a reader with adhd and putting some of my own special interests in it ;) (queer history)
did i just bingeread everything you posted? absolutely. do i regret it. absolutely not. ✨you are an amazing writer!!!💕 And while we’re at it can i request a scenario where Niragi goes crazy and scares his s/o really bad but he gets kinda soft and tries to comfort them later? If that makes sense haha And also a giant thank you for writing in gender neutral!!🥺💕
Thank you so much for reading my fics! I’m honestly really flattered haha 😅 Here is you’re request!
Comfort From A Tormentor | Suguru Niragi
{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}
Character(s): Niragi (ft. OC)
Summary: Niragi tries to comfort you, his S/O, after you witnessed his murderous behaviour for the first time
Warnings: toxic relationship, blood, murder, graphic violence, pushy behaviour, reader watches someone being killed, going into shock, panic attack, quite intense trauma, slight abuse of power
Word Count: 2.4k
*reader is gender-neutral

You always knew that Niragi wasn’t the kindness at The Beach, which was quite blatantly obvious. When people heard you guys had gotten together and were now in an established relationship, you had many people express their concerns privately with you, labelling him as an evil and violent character. You always shook it off, because you’d seen nothing of the sort during the time you had spent with him.
The worst you ever saw him say or do was a threat, or a short punch to the ribs as a warning, but even then the victims usually deserved it. You hadn’t experienced one of Niragi’s ‘outbreaks’ that people have discussed with you about. You started to believe it was all rumours to keep you away from him until he lost it one night in front of you, causing you to believe everything you had been told about him.
It was a usual night at The Beach, people parading around the pool and filling their brains and sinuses with alcohol, allowing them to forget their shared hardships for the evening.
You sat in a small booth that was excluded from the rest of the crowd. Your head was leaning on Niragi’s broad shoulder as you watched everyone dance to the blaring music. You felt the bass vibrate through the ground and in your chest, making you excited from the fun atmosphere.
Niragi lifted his hand and pet your head softly. “You okay little mouse?” he checked, bringing his face closer to yours and placing his lips on your cheek. You turned your head towards him and brushed your lips on his. “Yeah, I’m just tired,” you whispered. Niragi smirked and rubbed his hand along your bare leg. “We can go to bed soon, let’s just stay a little longer.”
Niragi shifted underneath you and stood up, making you lean back against the cushioned backrest. “I’m going to get a drink,” he stated bluntly before picking up his rifle from the small table that sat in front of you. “Don’t let anyone touch you otherwise you’ll regret it.”
You felt uneasy at his threat, but you knew if you just listened to him he would never carry through his brutal promises. He wasn’t that hard of a personality to figure out.
You watched as he strolled away towards the bar, leaving you by yourself and cold in the booth. You moved your eyes from him and looked around to everyone else, watching a few people jump into the pool and laugh together. You wished Niragi had less of a important placing at The Beach so he could relax like everyone else instead of constantly having to deal with stupid drunken dickheads causing trouble.
You looked over towards the bar again to see if you could spot Niragi, but couldn’t see him from where you were sitting. You needed to go to the bathroom and you were wondering if you could make it before he returned. You shrugged your shoulders and stood up on your feet to leave. It wouldn’t be that long, and besides if he did some back to you not being there, you were sure he wouldn’t mind. It’s just the bathroom.
You quickly made your way past the few crowds of dancing bodies. The smell of sweat and alcohol filled your nostrils as you pushed through, making your face scrunch up in disgust. No matter how long you spend there, you would never grow used to the party smell.
You made your way to the lobby to get to the bathroom located there. It was a quiet walk and hardly anyone was in the halls. It made you more calm, knowing that no one was around to bring you a hard time.
But unfortunately, you thought too soon. As you arrived at the lobby and were crossing the main lounge area, a young man with jet black hair and blue board shorts stood up from one of the couches. You failed to notice him earlier due to him being hidden behind the backrest.
“Oh hey!” he exclaimed your way excitedly. “I thought you’d come here. I saw you drink a rather large cocktail earlier so I just guessed you’d show up some time soon or later.”
You froze in shock, looking the man up and down with confusion written on your face. “What?”
He shook his head as he slowly made his way over to your frame. “Forget it. I wanted to get you away from your psychotic side piece so I could get a chance with you without being killed.” His smile was a bit too creepy for your liking, bringing an unpleasant tingling feeling up your back.
You stepped back as he attempted to reach out and grab your hand. He slowly recoiled with a frown on his tanned face. You shook your head and hands, denying his movements towards you. “No thanks actually. I’m not interested,” you insisted, turning your back to try and escape into the bathroom.
You felt your heart drop from the sudden grip on your wrist, pulling you back towards the annoying man and into his chest. He lifted your chin so you were looking at him and crashed his lips onto yours.
You panicked, ripping your arm out of his grip and pushing him away from you. He stumbled back a bit before smirking at your angered expression.
“What the fuck was that?!” you screamed at him, wiping his saliva off of your mouth in disgust. “Did no one ever teach you what no means?!”
Before the man could respond, a piercing sound of gunshots rang through the room. You covered your ears and dropped to the ground in fear of being hit. You looked towards the man and saw him crouching as well with a few bullet marks scattering the carpet around him. They barely missed him.
You kept your head down low in case of another load being shot at any moment, but you were grabbed by your upper arm and pulled up roughly after a few short moments. Niragi stood there, angered expression on his face and tightening his grip on your arm. You felt your blood pumping with adrenaline from his movements.
“What the fuck did I tell you?” he hissed into your face, being way too quiet for your liking.
You didn’t know what to say. Your words were trapped in your throat, being held there by the shock of the gunshots and Niragi’s anger towards you.
“I told you to not let anyone touch you. And how hard is it to stay in one place for five minutes?!” His fist moved from your arm to your jaw, holding it tightly so you would face him. Tears were developing in your eyes. You tried to stop them from rolling down your cheeks in fear of angering Niragi more, but the pain throbbing in your jaw made it nothing but more difficult. This wasn’t the Niragi you knew. He’s never laid a violent hand on you before.
“Niragi, stop,” you whimpered out, holding onto his wrist that was hurting you. “It hurts.”
“I don’t care. You deserve to be hurt after not listening to me.” Niragi finally released his grip from your jaw. You dropped to the ground, clutching your face in pain and letting out quiet sobs. The look in his eyes was menacing, making him seem unpredictable. You were terrified, pushing your legs against the carpet to separate yourself from his tall frame.
You watched as he turned away from you and walked towards the young man, who scrambled to his feet to try and run away. But Niragi leaped towards him and grabbed his shoulder before he could do so. He pulled him back harshly onto the ground and placed a boot on his chest, keeping him there. The man struggled until Niragi held the barrel of his gun against his forehead, making the petrified man freeze underneath him.
You watched in horror as he leaned down and pressed harder and harder on his bare chest, making the defenseless man cry out in fear of breaking a rib. “You’ve made a huge mistake my friend,” he growled, sticking his tongue out and showing off his piercing. “You dare touch what’s mine, you suffer the consequences.”
You leant up against the concrete wall, feeling too weak and in shock to stand up. You cried and screamed as you watched Niragi stamp his foot incredibly harshly on the man’s head several times. Blood poured down the side of his face and he put his hands up in defense, which deemed useless against Niragi’s strength. Niragi didn’t stop, moving his aim from the man’s face to his chest, hands, stomach, groin and thighs. His screams of pain and suffering echoed around the room, ringing in your ears and making your heart ache. Yes, he did attempt to force himself onto you, but hearing another human screeching out for help when you could do nothing was one of the most painful things you could ever inflict on an empath such as yourself.
You shook violently and covered your eyes with your hands, not wanting to see anymore. You wanted to disappear, to evaporate into the wind. You wanted to wake up back at home, in your safe warm bed from before the Borderland. You felt sick from the contrasting differences between the world in your head and the one you were physically in. Why couldn’t you just fade away?
You felt a presence in front of your shivering form, and you slowly peeled away your hands to reveal the abuser in front of you, looking into your eyes worryingly. Your stomach dropped from catching a glimpse of the blood splattered lightly across his attractive features. You felt nausea building in your stomach, making you want to throw up.
“Baby? What’s wrong?” Niragi lifted a hand and tried to place it on your cheek, but you flinched away violently and screamed as you crawled onto your hands and knees, attempting to quickly escape him. It was deemed almost impossible to do considering the emotional state you were in at that moment. You just watched your lover beat a man until the light left his eyes, you weren’t going to recover from the shock quickly.
You cried as he grabbed your ankle and roughly pulled you back. You struggled against his grip and tried to shake his hands off of your shoulders and waist desperately. You were terrified that he was going to hurt you, beat you until you were dead just like his other victim.
“Baby! Why are you so scared?! Hold still!” Niragi cried, attempting to hold your thrashing body against his to quiet you down. He was feeling desperate and helpless, what was happening to you? You’ve never done this before. He thought maybe you were in shock and thinking that he was the man trying to force himself on you.
“Y/N! It’s me! I’m here, you’re okay!” he cried in a frightened tone. He managed to pull you roughly by your waist into his lap and held the back of your head against his chest area. He began to shake himself, being so worried about your emotional state. He felt you suddenly stop struggling in his arms, hearing your soft sobs of fear against his shirt.
“What’s going on baby? You’re scaring me,” he groaned into your neck. You shivered against him, feeling too weak to even push yourself from his chest. You could do nothing but sit in his lap, terrified of the man who was attempting to comfort you.
“It’s okay. He’s gone now. He can’t hurt you anymore,” he cooed, stroking your hair in an attempt to calm your rapid breathing. He let out a shaky breath, being on the verge of tears. He felt his heart rapidly pumping in his chest, thumping against his ribcage. He was at least comforted at the fact that you were back in his arms, away from everyone and everything that wanted to separate you from him.
He leaned his head back and looked at your face tucked into his chest. He saw your tight hands scrunching his black and white button-up into themselves, making him feel soft at how vulnerable and small you looked.
“It’s okay baby. I’ve got you. I’ll always protect you.”
You tried to level your breathing, listening to Niragi’s heartbeat to focus on something else other than the fact that he had just murdered someone in front of you.
Everything everyone had said was true. Niragi was purely an evil person, filled to the brim with violence and murderous impulses. You repented your doubts so badly, wishing that you had listened. But you chose to give him a chance to be a good person for once in his life, and he threw it out the window. Only now, you couldn’t escape him. You had to now live with being the object of a murderer’s desires.
You felt Niragi snake his arms underneath your knees and shoulders gently, standing up from the ground with you in his arms. You clutched onto him from around his neck, tears still slowly travelling down your face.
“Let’s get you to bed, hmm? My little baby must be so tired after all that.”
‘After all that’. He said it like it was nothing more than a bad day. Your boyfriend just killed someone in front of you and then just forced you back into his arms. This wasn’t a bad day, it was a traumatic experience that would stay with you for the rest of your life, remembering every detail and image of the event vividly.
“Niragi,” you mumbled. He glanced down to your weak frame, face going soft from the tired expression across your features. “Shh, don’t speak. Just go to sleep. I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.” He leaned down and placed a tender kiss to the top of your head.
You didn’t want him to be there when you woke. In fact, you didn’t want to wake up at all. You felt miserable and defenseless in his arms, wishing for nothing more than to wake up and for it to be all some horrific dream.
But you didn’t wake up, because it was your reality. Niragi’s delusional, obsessive and abusive mindset was nothing new anymore, it was normal everyday life for you from then on.
Game Of Hearts

| 1 |
↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.
↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader
↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller
Word Count: 11k
___| Next
Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together!
Side mention: This could be considered a prequel to the current Alice In Borderland. I’m writing based off the Manga bc I was a glutton and couldn’t wait no spoilers will be present as of...

Escapism
noun
the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy ♡
You had known all about this during your short lifespan, as a child you’d often play pretend with your sister that you were movie stars living in a five star hotel rather than the shitty busted up apartment on the wrong side of town. Escapism came in, many forms. It was often a way for people to cope psychologically, simply because sometimes, facing the reality of your situation can be too much for one person to handle mentally.
Or at least, that was the topic of your lecture today in class. The human mind always fascinated you. Even at the young tender age when your mom died and you watched your once cozy little family fall apart piece by piece until nothing was left in its wake.
It was your fascination that drove you now for most things, why? Why, why, why? You always wondered what the motive was behind someone’s actions, not only thing but you wanted to understand them better, to try and sympathize. You were already fairly intuitive in nature. It wasn’t difficult to read people. In fact your line of work made it easy, you’d watch a man who would be excited to be with you reach for his left finger as if used to touching something. A wedding band perhaps?
The lowlife cheater was fairly common in a whore house after all. Or the man who had been pissy this morning behind you in line because you had decided to try something new on the menu and you weren’t fast enough, obviously because he was tardy and woke up late, his shirt unbeknownst to him was button the wrong way and his tie loose and even the way his hair fell were all signs of being late to work.
It was the little things you noticed in people’s facial expressions, the way they moved and spoke. You could read people like a book, and sure sometimes it was useful. But you often wished you weren’t so perceptive. It drove you mad knowing when a potential love interest was no longer interested through a simple text or a friend not wanting to talk by their tone. Sometimes you wished you could just blot it all out, still, you lived like this day in and day out, you were used to this kind of thing and honestly. Friends? Love? Your gaze dropped a little to your feet, the pumps you were wearing a jet black and the heel too high for any respectable woman to ever wear.
...It wasn’t like you ever had any of those in your life and you had struggled to come to terms with the fact that you could survive without that kind of support. Still...it made you envious, the couple happily holding hands on the sidewalk. The group of friends all laughing at a table while they studied. Oftentimes these feelings are muted, but when you’re faced with something you’ve always craved, those muted feelings suddenly become hyperactive in your mind.
It’s pathetic, honestly.
“How dare you! You disgusting slut!”
In this moment however, you were brought back to reality at just what was happening, you squeaked loudly as you dodged the shoe the woman had thrown at you. This was all a regular occurrence, you had a lot of regulars who weren’t the most amazing people but hey, money was money. But along with them they also left a trail which their wives and girlfriends always followed. And then they always blamed you instead of their partner for leaving them for a prostitute despite you never having agreed to anything such as that.
It really wasn’t your fault, you were just trying to make a living while juggling with keeping up your own education, paying your fathers debts, rent and still somehow getting food on the table. What part time college job could provide that?
Prostitution wasn’t a job you would’ve gone into willingly but given the past and your trauma that was already laced in it you had been learning that sometimes because of the trauma we experience, sometimes people go back to that same trauma and actively participate in it as a way of feeling like they’re in control.
That whatever happened before, would never happen again if you were in control. You weren’t sure if you qualified under this category, trauma came in many forms but the one most used as an example in your class was that a study showed that women who were assaulted often develop a kink for consensual non consent as a way of coping with what happened, except this time, it’s in a controlled environment where it can end the moment they want it too.
Again, you weren’t sure you fell into this category, but you often wondered if your line of work was intertwined with your earlier memories when you were younger, if anything it brought comfort to you. Much of it, blotted out now simply because your mind couldn’t take it. Trauma expressed through amnesia was also much more common than many thought, and it’s so small, so easy to miss. After all how can you be aware of something if you have no memory of it anymore?
“Security!” Your manager screeched, two of the bodyguards were already between you and the feral woman who was ready to gut you clean as she screamed hysterically, her husband...your regular....at her side trying to get her to calm down only for her to come to her senses and slap him clean across the face. You didn’t condone violence, but he did have it coming...
You weren’t about to justify cheaters, you couldn’t imagine the hurt someone had to feel that not only did their partner cheat on them, but it was with someone...like you...You had been trying not to put down your job occupation, sex workers were just as valid as anyone else...you knew you would’ve thought this way if it was anyone but you in this position.
You sighed as you ran your hands through your hair, watching the couple get dragged out of the tight space of the brothel, “Jesus christ....didn’t you say you stopped using perfume because of this?” Miki, your manager sighed as she crossed her arms. You didn’t want to say your manager was your friend but she was the closest you had as you’d often complain to her about most of your problems. Sex work often attracted broken people, it wasn’t something she wasn’t used to.
“Yeah, but apparently he never got around to washing his clothes…” You wiped your mouth on the back of your hand, “Lipstick stain,” You glanced down at the ruby pink color that stained your skin now, “Fuck...that did hurt.” You rubbed your sore cheek that was still throbbing from where she had first slapped it when she ripped the door open of the room where she got to see with her own eyes you riding her husband.
It had happened so many times now you weren’t even embarrassed about someone walking in let alone a partner. Miki gave you a lopsided smile as she patted your shoulder, “Guess that just pays for being one of the best here. Did you at least get paid.”
You nodded, “Yeah, I always make them pay in advanced but I was hoping to get a tip afterwards...He was a lawyer so you know he had good money.” You sighed, crossing your arms, you were well aware of his partner because a lot of the time he didn’t even come in for sex anymore. It was funny how humans work.
He often felt his wife was overbearing and you had suspected some sort of verbal abuse by the way he talked about her constant screaming. Truthfully, you don’t think he ever intended on cheating with her. He just wanted someone to talk to without being judged, you could relate with sympathy to that, but he unfortunately chose to walk into a brothel instead of a therapy clinic and this truly was the only inevitable outcome. Still, you hope if for anyone’s sake, he gets that divorce for himself.
“Hey I think I’m gonna call it a day. I need to get back to Nanami, she was wanting to talk to me about college applications.” You sighed as you rubbed your neck, ever since she had graduated high school she had been chomping at the bit to start applying for college, maybe to just get out of the house and into a dorm. You couldn’t blame her and if she did that it would lighten your load a little.
Guilt washed over you at the thought as Miki chuckled, “They grow up pretty fast huh? My brother was the same way, except the moment he found out I was a sex worker was the moment he called me a whore and we haven’t talked since. That was probably about five years ago,” She crossed her arms as she sighed, “Crazy how the things we do for the ones we love, never appreciate our effort...I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“If I’m not bruising.” You offered a weak smile as you nodded at her before going back to your room to get changed. Truthfully, you much like anyone else, often wished you could go to a world where reality wasn’t a concept any longer. Where you could lay out in the sun for the whole day and just soak up it’s rays with no worries or trepidations.
But sooner then later everyone had to face their fears. Even you, you supposed. But no matter how hard you fought your demons, they always came back tenfold. Again, you supposed your story was no different from tens of thousands, and yet you all live on regardless. Maybe it’s you who should be the one seeking therapy. Pulling on your jeans and the cropped top over your head before pulling the jacket over your arms and grabbing your bag.
The walk home was as quiet as ever, your hood over your head and earbuds any unwanted attention, it wasn’t too late at night, only eleven PM and your work had just been getting started but that had ruined the night for you and besides, you had already failed a test today, you could use the sleep tonight.
Occasionally you’d hear the sirens of a cop car passing by or a bystander shout, nothing out of the ordinary in this neighborhood. Walking up to the apartment complex you pulled the key from your bag as you unlocked the door. Quietly stepping insides as you shut the door before locking it once more. Your nose wrinkled at the smell of stale air mixed with rotten...something…
If anything, you were always lacking in something, you had been so busy most of the day that you never had time to clean anything leaving the house in a horrible state. Not that you thought this was much of a house.
Walking down the narrow hallway you opened the rickety door with a missing lock as you gave a brief smile to the small clump of bedsheets. Your sister was curled up and on her phone, eyes darting to the door with a hint of fear before she jumped up, “Y/n! You’re home earlier from night shift already!?”
You offered a smile as you set down your bag and nodded, sitting down on the mattress that laid on the floor as you replied, “Yeah, a coworker needed the extra hours so I let them cover for me tonight. Besides, you wanted to talk about college applications?” Your sister was under the impression your late night job was bartending at some hole in the wall downtown, where in all actuality you just went there to drink a few days and talk to the loud and sometimes obnoxious, but good hearted bartender who loved talking about his nerdy underaged friends that couldn’t do anything beside stay and drink soda.
It wasn’t that you didn’t think your sister would accept you, if she knew what you were actually doing. Fear, most times came in many different forms and this was one of them. You simply didn’t want to be judged, even by her. So nobody in your life truly knew who you were, and therefore, how could you hold the expectation for people to accept you into society if you were already self sabotaging yourself?
All philosophy aside, you were simply a lost soul, looking for your way in the cruel reality called life.
“Yes!” Nanami was chipper as always as she squealed, clapping her hands, “I…! I was thinking about applying to the university you attend! Maybe I'll get a grant and move into the dorms there? I already applied for several jobs, I’m just waiting on a callback!”
You offered a small smile as you hugged your knees to your chest, “I think you’d like it there, there’s lots to do around campus. But what will you go in for? The only advice I can offer is be sure it’s what you want to do.”
Nanami’s face faltered a little as she hummed, “Well...I thought maybe working with animals? I’d love to be an assistant surgeon in veterinarian? I know it’s a pretty...sad job but...I really like the idea of being able to heal such innocent things.” Your smile tugged into a gentle one at your sister. She was too tender for this world.
It had been your goal sense the day your mother died that you took care of your sister, it didn’t matter what happened to you. You could rot for all you cared at the end of the day, all you wanted was to look up and see your sister's smile and her happiness in life blossom. She more than anyone deserved it.
“I think you’ll be great at it.” You encouraged as you rested your chin on your hand, always happy to see her bounce in excitement as you yawned, your body was used to your demanding schedule but it was always more than happy to welcome a few extra hours of sleep.”
Hearing the door loudly slam close caused you both to jump, Nanami hurriedly crawled back in bed, pretending to be asleep as you frowned. Your dad must’ve come back home from wherever he was.
“Y/n! Just stay here! Can’t you talk to him later?” Nanami looked scared, she always did when he was around. But you weren’t about to stand down to the bastard any day of the week, you offered a weak smile as you replied.
“It’s fine Nami, I’ll be just a few minutes.” You replied, you knew that she knew, that was probably a lie. But you’d try your best, for her sake at least. But somebody had to put this guy in his place occasionally and it was always you. It results in a lot of screaming sometimes, other times he’d break down in tears or on a bad occasion you’d get shoved to the ground, a few times hit. Nothing major.
Walking out of the room you leaned against the wall of the entrance of the hallway watching your father stumble around in the living room, “Did you finally talk to the loan company?” You called out as you asked, not in a forgiving mood tonight. He had said he’d do this for two weeks in a row. The company that sank your whole family into the ground. The reason your mother couldn’t take it anymore and put a blade to her wrist.
Your father stood up, looking a little wobbly, obviously drunk, “Now listen here little girl I don’t have shit to own to you or anyone else.” You sighed as you tucked your tongue into your cheek, annoyance flowing inside you as you straightened up. You weren’t going to be bullied into being scared of this guy.
“Actually you do,” Your smile twisted into something more sharp, more bitter and sinister as you walked forward, “See, if you hadn’t of gotten involved in something shady like loan sharks we wouldn’t be drowning in debt and mom wouldn’t have killed herself because of you and both your daughters wouldn’t hate you. I know you drink away all our money in some pathetic attempt to escape from the cold reality that you fucked up your whole life and watched your family slip from your fingers while not even trying to do anything other then put us in further shit,” You closed your eyes as you tilted your head, “But the least you could do, is admit that. You owe us at least that for being a total fuck up.”
You opened your eyes to find pure rage brewing in your fathers eyes as you smiled once more, this time a false sense of sickly sweet tone to it as you shrugged, “Or you could live in denial, at this point, there really isn’t anything you can do to get anyone back ♡ ”
You had turned around, planning to tell Nanami that maybe she should go sleep over at a friends house today but you never got the chance, suddenly being slammed into the wall and flecks of spit hitting your face, “I am your fucking father! I deserve respect from you and your worthless sister! Do you know how much I provide for you both?”
Anger splintered through your veins as you grabbed onto his wrists, his fingers digging into your neck as you squirmed, “Like fucking what!? A shitty broken down apartment that your vacant from because you’re too fucking ashamed of yourself to even look at us sober!?”
Much like years in the past you weren’t surprised to hear Nanami cry as she rushed out of the room at the sound of you both screaming, “Stop!” She cried out, trying to break you both up, “Stop! Don’t fight! Why…! Why can’t we all just get along!” She sobbed only for your dad to shove her down making her curl up in defeat.
Alarm bells were triggered in your head at the sight of Nanami on the ground, she had never actually gotten hurt while in your sight and it was triggering something deep inside you as you watched him stalk up to her. Your hands shaking and rage boiling in your mind as you grabbed the closet thing you could find. An empty beer bottle on the table.
Your vision blurred and you don’t quite remember what happened other than glass shattering over his head and the brute force of you shoving something before blood was stained on your hands.
How did you end up sitting against the wall? Why was there….blood on your hands…? Your fingers trembled at the metallic sticky substance. All you could hear were Nanami’s sobs and cries as she frantically pushed herself away from the body slumped on the ground.
“You…! He…!” Nanami’s eyes brimmed with tears as you heard a loud boom making you jump, your eyes darting to the open window where….fireworks, big and bold crashed and crackled before you felt like you were sucked into a vortex making your whole vision black out.

Your head felt fuzzy and there was ringing in your ears as you groaned, curling up into yourself as the darkness beckoned you closer before you forcibly opened your eyes. You were laying against the hardwood floor. Beams of light streaked through the window and you could see dust particles in the air against the shower of sunshine that streamed in.
...Wait...Light? The thought had perplexed your head enough to make you push up from the ground, memories pulling into your mind as your breath became shallow, suddenly looking to the side where...you slumped against the wall. It must’ve just been a bad dream….your eyes flickered to Nanami’s curled up figure...a really vivid dream…? Something wrenched in your gut as you rubbed your eyes. What happened? “Nami…!” You whispered, forcing your muscles to move despite their protest as she whined.
After another moment she reluctantly opened her eyes, flickering around before she suddenly scrambled up, taking a deep breath as if realizing what had happened before, looking towards where your dad once was she frowned, “...I...What…” She seemed just as perplexed as you and if her face was anything to go by, last night had obviously happened, “Is dad…” She looked at the absent place of the floor.
Leaning against the wall your eyes darted around the room, “I guess so…” You silently felt relief at knowing your dad was still very much alive as you leaned back as you closed your eyes, trying to remember what had happened before everything went dark...oh..! The fireworks...had it been a celebration last night? Your brows pinched together, something felt...off...getting up you opened the door to the apartment walking out.
“Y/n? Y/n! Hey! Where are you going!” Nanami called out, quickly chasing after you as you frowned, cars were parked odd and there was no one out on the street...as in...at all...Something was very wrong and you couldn’t figure out what.
“Wow...it..must be a slow day…” Nanami felt a sense of discomfort at the lack of life as you both walked down the side walk, it didn’t just feel like a slow day it felt, apocalyptic. As if humanity just left on it’s own leaving nothing but an empty city behind. Cars were parked on the curb and a few even left in the street.
“No, it’s like everyone vanished...This is really weird.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as you frowned, looking around as you came closer to where typically it would be a booming part of the downtown but it was empty, just as everything before.
“Well, maybe it’s a national holiday?” Nanami rubbed her head, trying to make sense of the situation just as much as you, surely everyone wasn’t...gone...right? She looked around as she bit her lip, second guessing herself at all the cars that were vacant, “Hey Y/n.”
You paused as you looked at your sister, curving an eyebrow as she offered a weak smile, “What if everyone got raptured away like they talk about in christanity?” Your expression flattened as she giggled, obviously getting a rise out of you as you crossed your arms.
Raptured? Where? To heaven? “Wouldn’t it be fire and brimstone then if that was the case?” Nanami pouted at your words as you shrugged, snickering yourself at her expression, the tables now turned as you sighed, “I don’t think there’s anyone left in Tokyo...I mean, it feels like...we’d have seen someone by now...right?”
“Well…” Nanami frowned once more, a little disturbed at your words as she spoke, “There’s no way everyone could be gone I mean, where would they go? And how could we miss something like that...Maybe the police found us and now we’re under some weird simulation.”
Chills spilled down your spine as you shoved her making her whine, “Don’t say that! That makes me feel all weird…! I didn’t…!” You cut yourself off, you didn’t what? Murder your own dad in cold blood...you looked down at your hands, they were free of any blood but it still felt like something like sin lingered. Like no matter where you went, it would always be stuck to you.
You didn’t like this, not one bit. Briefly you felt the urge to go hunt down your dad, he was a deadbeat but you would never...you’d never kill him....Right?
“Well…” Nanami hummed her eyes scanning ahead before they jumped to the mall that was up ahead, “Hey…! If nobody is here...maybe we could make use of it! Come on! Let's go!” You yelped at her grabbing your arm before dragging you ahead. Cars were all parked and yet not a single person exited through the mall's entrance. Something just felt off! You wrapped your arms around yourself as you warily looked around the empty mall, “Nanami I really don’t like this!” You looked around, concern bubbling inside you as she ran ahead into the store, digging through the section of clothes as she giggled.
“Relax! I doubt any of this is real and even so…! Who’s going to stop us!?” She shrugged as she bounced in excitement, “Oh my god! I had dreamed of something like this happening! Now we can do whatever we want! Go wherever we want! Y/n!” She gasped with a smile, “Now we don’t even have to worry about money!”
“We don’t even know if this is permanent.” You looked around warily, not partaking as she began plucking off the racks, “Regardless of what this is, I don’t like it. I want to go back home, our home. This just doesn’t…” You shook your head, “This just doesn’t feel right.”
“Well you can feel that way!” Nanami clacked her tongue as she gave a childish smile, “But I’m gonna go through this whole store and get a new wardrobe so feel free to sit on the bench and tell me what you think looks good!”
Looking away you sighed, unable to pinch the anxious feeling you had away as you sat down reluctantly as Nanami went into the changing room. Well...at least she was smiling and she was happy...With each outfit Nanami tried out and giggled, you giggled with her and maybe things weren’t so bad after all…

“What a perfect day.” Nanami hugged you close as she sighed, yawning as you looked up at the sky in awe, you had seen a single star while living in Tokyo before, but now it was filled with constellations and millions of stars that stretched for miles. You could stare at it for days and days. The sun had just set a little over half an hour ago and you were ready to retire and find something to eat at the apartment.
You and Nanami had tried going to the food court but much to your dismay everything had been...rotten...soiled and ruined, meaning there was no point in trying to find anything there and you were getting really hungry despite devouring bags of chips you had both got at the convenient store, another thing that stood out to you was that there was no electricity...at all..
Looking back up to the sidewalk something caught your eyes...was that…! Light!? “Hey! Nanami look!” You shook her making her squeak as she looked up ahead, “It’s the hospital! They have electricity there which means there’s other people! Of course! Why didn’t we think to check essential areas!? Come on! Lets go! I wanna figure out what happened.”
“Alright! It sucks that this is already over but at least I can finally charge my phone, the battery is pretty low.” Nanami nodded in agreement as you both made your way up the road.
The walk wasn’t too far and you felt excitement fill you at the sight of the hospital all lit up as you walked into the entrance, a frown slowly setting on your lips once more as you walked past the receptionist desk and…! Oh there’s other people!
You felt relief wash over your as you ran up, there were at least seven other other people here at least! “Hey! Guys oh my god. I thought everyone was gone! What’s going on?” You asked, smiling bright in relief that you and Nanami weren’t the only ones left behind. Was this some kind of evac point or…?
Silence ensued and you slowly began to frown as you felt everyone stare at you as if you were insane, “Um…” You wrapped a hand around your arm, suddenly feeling as if everyone knew something you didn’t, “What’s going on…?” You furrowed your brows as you tilted your head, unsure of why everyone was looking at you like this.
Somebody looked like they were going to talk to you, a guy relatively around your age but a woman stopped him- his girlfriend maybe? “Stop, the less that know the better chance we have.” She said quietly though you still heard just enough. Fear twisted inside you as you took a cautious step back...The...the less you knew?
“Wow, you guys are assholes,” A girl suddenly whistled out, she was sitting in a waiting chair, a cowboy hat on her head paired with distressed jeans and...a bikini top? Strange but you’d roll with it if it meant getting answers. She stood up as she offered a smile, “Akari, nice to meet ya’. You folk must be new to the Borderlands huh?” She jutted her bottom lip a little as you frowned.
“Um I’m Y/n and this is my sister Nanami...?” You introduced yourself despite feeling confused as you raised a brow, “Borderlands…?” You echoed, what was that supposed to be? Other than Tokyo?
Akari gave a nod as she let out a brief chuckle, as if amused by your confusion but you sensed she had no real ill will unlike....your eyes checked to the couple that stood off in the corner on their own, “That’s what they call it here,” She nodded in affirmation as your eyes darted back to her in confusion, “To be frank with ya’, I don’t have a damn clue what's going on. Nobody does. But ever since you crossed the threshold there’s no going back, so I’ll be brief. We’re all considered outsiders here and we participate in games at venues such as this to extend our stay.”
Nanami and you looked at one another confused as Akari waved you over to the table in front of a TV, “Here, you’ll wanna put these on, it’s for the game.” She explained as you carefully picked up the metal bracelet, something about it felt ominous as you reluctantly put it on, jumping at the way it latched together and there was no getting it off now, “Word of advice, just don’t panic and you probably won’t die.”
“What?!” You screeched as Akari smacked your back, panic evident in your voice as you turned around to face her making her laugh again, this girl was insane! She had to be! “You’re…! You’re joking!”
Akari wrinkled her nose as she tilted her head, “Ah shit, I wish I was- Oh…! There’s the last player!” Just on que everyone turned to look at who had arrived, someone heaving breaths with their hands on their knees as if they had sprinted. You were mildly worried at why he seemed so scared but you had a feeling that was the least of your problems right now.
“Y/n what’s going on…?” Nanami frightened grabbed your arm as she hid a little behind you due to all these immensing strangers that looked like they were ready to feed you to the sharks, literally.
The guy walked past you both as he put on his bracelet, your eyes sharp as you watched it latch together automatically, your gaze jumping to everyone's wrists to notice you were all now wearing one. The TV suddenly lit up.
Game
You squinted your eyes a little at the sight of the screen, just what were you about to unwillingly participate in…?
Difficulty: 5♣
“The game you will be participating in is, Monster under the bed.”
A playing card? Monster under the bed? Your brows furrowed as you looked at Nanami who shrugged a little despite her concerned expression, looking just as confused as you. You could’ve made a joke out of this, surely it would’ve been easier. Maybe everyone would bust out laughing and you’d be at the end of a poor joke but...somehow you felt that wasn’t the case. Thus paying very close attention to whatever was on this screen,
“Everyone will be sectioned off into pairs by the number chosen on your bracelet, when the doors to the ward open you will have three rounds ten minutes each to figure out who is the monster under the bed that must be returned to its own, once the ten minutes is up you must hide before you are found. If the selected pair that is the monster is chosen correctly it’s a Game Clear. If the monster is not found by the end of the third round or if the pair fails to hide it’s a Game Over.”
Rules:
Once the doors are open you and your partner must find a hiding spot by the time limit
Both partners must be hidden. If one is exposed to the monster it’s a Game Over for both partners
There will be an X marked on the ground to place the monster of your guess onto.
You will have three rounds of ten minutes each to find the monster.
Any attempt to remove bracelets results in a Game Over
If the monster is not found by the third round a Game Over.
The only Game Clear condition required is for the monster to be returned by the third round.
What…
What!?
“Now the game will commence, you have five minutes to figure out who you have been paired up with before the doors open.”
Your mind was blanking as you watched everyone look down at their bracelet, hurriedly you lifted your arm as your mind blanked 2 looking back at Nanami her lips were already quivering as she sniffled lifting her arm in defeat as your lips dropped open, 5.
“Hey! Guess you’re my partner!” Akari grinned as she wrapped an arm around Nanami who sniffled, “Oh…” She looked between you both, “Oh! Oh don’t worry! We’re not the monster so I’ll make sure your sister lives! You should go find your partner.”
Your hands trembled unsure of what to do before you went to hug Nanami, “Whatever happens just stay calm okay! I need to go find my partner now!” You whispered, kissing her cheek as she sniffled while nodding.
Everybody was shuffling around looking for their partner now, you passed by a few people, 4, 1, 3...did you even have a partner…? You scanned around, your throat tightening a little in panic, there had to be a mistake! There were only 8 people surrounding you- you yelped at the tight grip that suddenly held your arm forcing you to turn around to be met with a white hooded figure, a lollipop handle hanging and earbuds in before sighing, “So it appears I’m stuck with someone useless.” The man concluded as he stood up making you back away a little as your lips parted somewhat indignantly.
How...how rude! You looked up, unable to fully make out his face but you could tell you didn’t like him one bit, “I’ll…! First of all I’m not useless! I’m just trying to understand what's going on! This is insane! We aren’t actually going to die from this, are we!?” Pushing his hood down you were immediately met with a snide gaze and cat eyes that leered at you like you were nothing more then dirt beneath his feet, long blonde hair pushed behind his shoulders and his bangs hanging low, suddenly a viscous side smile appeared on his lips, “Apparently so, otherwise I wouldn’t have watched half my last game get their brains blown out and the other half hung.”
You reeled a little away from the blonde, your face dropped in semi horror, unsure if this was just a sick joke or he was serious. You searched his face a thousand times over, but for the first time in your life, you couldn’t figure out what his goal was. You couldn’t figure out anything about him, except he was exceptionally cold, “Well I don’t suppose I have much choice to doubt you,” He said with an annoying sing song tone as he rattled his wrist that showed the bracelet with a matching 2 on it, “My name is Chishiya, just stay out of my way and we’ll both live.”
How arrogant! You scoffed as he walked past you, not the least bit bothered at your offense as you whipped around, glaring at his back. How come out of everyone you got stuck with the most…! Pompous! Arrogant! Ugh! You crossed your arms as you followed behind him, stilling secretly sending daggers into his back with your eyes as everyone shuffled into the ward.
Hospital beds were scattered around the room, a few closets and one large vent at the bottom right corner of the room ahead.
“Wait, what is this?” The first person to speak was a fair thin older gentleman, he appeared friendly as he observed the room around him, everyone looked around in confusion as you noticed what he meant.
Any possible hiding spot was covered by either sheets of metal or locked tight...How were any of you supposed to hide if…!? The rules mentioned nothing about solving puzzles to gain access to a hiding spot!
“Forget that,” Another man said with a sneer he was broad and a bit older, well into his late twenties at least, perhaps a gym coach? Or maybe a wrestler of some sort? He looked like he could break you and nearly every other person in this room like a twig, “We need to figure out who’s the monster. “ He cracked his knuckles as you leered a little away and nobody spoke for a second.
Of course, who would out themselves as the monster, more importantly, how does one even know they’re the monster? You could immediately feel tension rise as the previous, more patient man spoke, a little more collected, “How about we just check one another's’ watches! If anywhere it would show us on that! One pair should work on solving these puzzles here so everyone has a place to hide”
“Unless the monster is among us and it sabotages us so we all die by the time limit.” The girlfriend crossed her arms as she darted her eyes around. Truthfully you didn’t know what to believe, the wording on the soundbox was rather confusing as to just what were you looking for. Was the monster supposed to be in the group or it’s own entity?
“If that were the case it would’ve showed up on our watches, which it didn’t. So that won’t work.” Chishiya spoke matter of fact, his tone cool as his eyes gazed across the room before he walked away from the group inspecting various hiding spots granted you didn’t think he was about to help anyone but himself, if anything you were at least lucky that him securing a hiding spot meant it was one for you as well.
You looked at everyone in confusion, some arguing while others scattered to look for a hiding spot as the clock ticked down. You breathed in relief at the sight of Nanami and Akari both going for a bed to hide under. Your gaze finally found Chishiya’s form before following him, unsure of what you were supposed to do, if anything outside trying to figure out just what the monster even was.
You glanced up at the digital clock that stood above the entrance you had just come in from, it was already a minute in before you searched the floor where you found a red X in the center of the room, that must’ve been the...what? Offering spot? You cringed a little at the idea. Looking forward you peered behind Chishiya’s shoulder deciding to not think about that, it seemed the metal sheet that had wrapped around the bed and was sealed to the ground was locked by some sort of metal device…? Contraption? Lock?
“Isn’t hiding under a bed a bit obvious…?” You frowned as you crossed your arms, unsure as you looked behind your shoulder once more to where accusations were already being thrown in the group.
“The vent is a decoy to make you waste time, I already checked,” Chishiya replied, his fingers nimble as they rattled the metal, “And even if someone were to accomplish it in the time limit it’s the most obvious spot the monster would first check. Next would be the closet given it’s at eye level and the first thing one is drawn too when they walk into a room.”
Your lips parted a little in surprise at his assessment...obviously he wasn’t just overconfident, “And why this spot?” If he had really thought about all this in less than a minute then...did he have a reason for this spot? You now found yourself, slightly less annoyed and a little more curious as to what was going on in his mind.
“If the monster were to check a bed it would be after his eyes are drawn to the closet. Next in that line of sight would be the vent directly across it, which would be his next place to look if not his first and vice versa. The beds are all staggered throughout the room making them less conspicuous compared to the other hiding places, the bed on the far end of the room would be no good.”
Your brows furrowed in curiosity at his assessment as you watched Chishiya blow a piece of hair from his face, wiggling out one piece of the knotted metal, “It’s too far from the entrance where as the one in the middle is by average the one most people would start with, where as the first? It’s almost too soon in the start to look there thus making it the safest.”
“It’s them! They’re over there conspiring!” You both twisted around to watch the broad man point an accusing finger at you both as your eyes darted from him to the clock on the wall, which read at six minutes. A few other pairs, relievingly so was your sister had started working on a hiding spot while a few others stood around and argued.
Your face coiled a little as you replied, not appreciating the accusation to such a baseless accusation, did they not realize the longer they argued the less time they had to secure a hiding spot? “Someone who’s terrible at playing the minority would often be the first to point fingers. There’s only six minutes left before the first round is over and we need to hide. But if you want to talk about this then sure,”
You stepped closer as you crossed your arms, scanning over him before continuing, “Let’s talk about the chances of you being the monster, ever since you first came in you’ve been all twitchy and acting like something is wrong. Even when we first got paired up, you seemed a little panicked. Anyways,” You turned around as you spoke, “How do we know one pair is a monster and not one single person?”
“Eh,” Akari sat on the bed that her and Nanami chose as Nanami fumbled to work out the puzzle, she had always been good at those! You felt assured as your heart beat frantically at the idea of them not being able to get a hiding spot in time, “Let’s all calm down,” She gave an awkward laugh, “This isn’t a hearts game, we shouldn’t divide our trust. This is a team building after all which means this game should be making us work together, the last thing we need to do is throw that away on our own accord.”
“...Team building?” You frowned as you murmured having not been aware that this was some sort of game category...Hearts? Clubs? The memory of the playing card flashing on the screen appeared in your mind again, right...was that to stand for some kind of game genre? If Clubs stood for team building then...there should be no reason that the monster is any of you. Why would they even suggest that to begin with?
Then...what was the monster?
“One minute remaining.”
The lights suddenly began flickering, “Got it.” Chishiya yanked the last piece of metal undone as he pulled the sheet of metal off, everyone was now scrambling and the few who had not done their puzzle were now panicking. Getting down you crawled under the bed, your back flat to the ground as you inhaled sharply as you noticed the lights beginning to dim, “This is...uncomfortable.” You mumbled, trying to ignore being pressed shoulder to shoulder with a man you didn’t even know besides him having a god complex, “We should’ve went with the vent.”
“By all means, if you want to try and get yourself killed already. Go for it.” You turned to look at him, dark endless cat eyes meeting you as you harshly glared at him, why was he so condescending!?
You were about to snap back something before you realized it was completely dark and the door slammed open causing you to jump. Was your heart always this loud? You could see the heavy boots step against the ground making you unsteadily inhale, swallowing as you closed your eyes. You could only place your trust that Chishiya hadn’t picked a horrible spot.
More importantly your mind was plagued with worry for your sister, you had been so caught up you hadn’t even tried to help her yet...did she even…! You heard a sudden loud scream from two people causing you to stiffen as you looked up at the bed frame lined with wooden planks. You could only cower back down at blood suddenly painting the floor.
Your stomach suddenly churned as you covered your mouth. So he wasn’t lying. Chishiya however looked just as nonpulsed as he did when he first told you himself, his eyes blankly staring up at the bed frame as if this was just a regular game of hide and seek as people screamed as they were torn apart.
Or that’s at least what you assumed it was.
After an agonizing few minutes the doors finally closed and the lights flickered back on making you breath in relief as you waited a moment, could you even bear to face what was waiting on the floor? You winced a little before something caught your eye. What was with all this extra wood stuck in the frame?
Chishiya had already gotten out from under the bed and before you suddenly heard a few girls scream, your sister among them making you puff and breath as you scrambled from beneath the bed.
Standing up your mouth agape at the horrid sight of the female and the broad male that had been too focused on accusing others, they didn’t have...enough time...it looked like they had been completely mutilated, blood pouring on the floor and the smell made you want to gag as you looked away.
“Well, now what do we do.” Akari scratched her head, also not looking phased that two people had just been brutally killed. Your eyes stayed placed on the bodies before they slowly trailed to your hands, the memory of blood staining them still fresh in your mind.
“Well we have to figure out where the monster is?” The girlfriend of the couple spoke up, she looked around somewhat suspiciously, “But I’m not sure where we could find it? Maybe it has to do with the bracelets? Maybe there’s a clue hidden.”
“Oh what about in the cabinets?” The collected man from before offered as he went to search the cabinets, your frown furthered as you glanced around. Everyone was now getting along, still on edge but along at least.
Chishiya only leaned against the wall, his hands in his pocket as he rolled the lollipop in his mouth, his gaze the same steely one it was before as if he had done his job in securing his temporary salvation and was now done.
Or maybe he just didn’t know what to do? It was obvious his strength didn’t lie in teamwork, clearly. But then again, you weren’t sure what was going on, you couldn’t get a read on him. Crossing your arms you stayed beside him, your eyes briefly washing over your sister who was working Akari to dig through a desk together.
“Cabinets and drawers are too obvious.”
Chishiya’s eyes flickered to your figure, his expression just as cold if not...a little smug maybe? He said nothing in return as you continued, “If we’re looking for a monster, it’s obvious it’s a metaphor for something. Inanimate most likely,” Your eyes flickered around the room, inhaling sharply, why did it feel like the answer was right in front of you?
Think…! You glanced at the clock, only six minutes left. The rounds were really short…! “It’d be something small and inconspicuous, something that’s in plain sight….but easy to miss...and the game said it was a pair which means there’s more than likely two.”
“Three,” You glanced at Chishiya as he spoke, pulling the lollipop from his mouth, that permanent smug look on his face as he answered, “Two is what they want you to think and if you spend a round searching for each like they hope it’s game over by three.”
You rubbed your neck as you frowned, “It’s already the second round and we haven’t even found one…” You glanced around before you suddenly perked up, “Wait…!” Getting back down on the floor you laid on your back as you pushed yourself under the bed, “Chishiya! Help me get this thing out!”
Within a moment the blonde appeared as well, his eye sharp and keen as they noticed straight away what you were tugging at, “You think this is the monster?”
You looked at him as you raised a brow, “We have less than four minutes left on our second round, you have a better idea?” Chishiya said no more but helped regardless, successfully with the both of you maneuvering it around from beneath the wooden boards you managed to get it out.
Holding it up you looked at it, “It’s a poppet doll.” You turned to face him as you smiled in accomplishment, “They’re typically used as curses to place upon people in folklore. If anything is a monster, this would be it.”
Excited at your first victory you pulled out from beneath the bed as you waved it up, “Hey guys! We need to start looking for something similar to this! If not a replica.” Everyone huddled around you examining the doll before the microphone sounded, “One minute remaining.”
Everyone had immediately scrambled back to their hiding place as you ran to the red X, placing the poppet on it, that's the reason that had to be there right!? You’d just have to see, hurriedly you ran back to your spot under the bed. Making it just in time as the lights flickered off.
The door slamming open once more as you slowly inhaled, it had to work right? If not...then you were at a loss for what to search for and you were utterly screwed.
The boots stomped against the floor past the bed as you closed your eyes, unable to calm yourself. After a moment you heard a screech and something rip open before screams followed making you jump. Chishiya’s eyes were on the feet that stood by the closet that had been obviously ripped open.
You heard the sound of something wet and a gurgle before a body slumped to the floor and you could hear begging before something got snapped in half causing you to close your eyes once more...Did you make it angry!? Was that not it? Fuck. You had never felt this stressed before as it roamed around, passing in front of your bed as you tensed.
Was this your last moment alive? Truly?
Much to your relief, the door closed once more before the lights followed, flickering on, relaxing a little you sighed as you reluctantly got out from underneath the bed with Chishiya to see what had happened. Much to your horror it was the man who had been so kind this whole game and his partner.
The monster didn’t check anywhere in the first round, yet he did this round? You tried to block out the bodies slumped in the corner as you glanced at the red X, the poppet doll gone.
“Why- why were they killed!” Nanami’s eyes began to water as she grabbed her head, “This makes no sense!”
“If it accepts the doll that means we only need two more. What happened to them is irrelevant.” Chishiya stuffed his hands back into his pocket as you glared at him sideways, not appreciating his careless tone. You could deal with it, but you didn’t want your sister dragged into it.
Grabbing your chin you thought about it for a moment, “Well...the game said to return the monster to its own and…” You glance down at the X, was there some kind of unsaid rule that if you didn’t get all three of them on the first try that it would start hunting down players? “How would a mother feel if they only returned one of its children?”
“This thing doesn’t have feelings,” The girlfriend of the partners replied coldly, her eyes like steel of her own as she clung to her boyfriend, “It’s as he said,” She waved to Chishiya, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll be like them if we don’t figure this out.”
You glanced around the room, “Tell me this, if it doesn’t matter, then why did they give us all these different hiding spots?” Everyone was silent, all eyes on you as if your question didn’t make any sense, your eyes flickered to the clock that was nearing eight minutes, you didn’t have time to monologue, “No think about it. The monster never intended to look for us- that was never stated in the rules. So why did they give us all of these choices if we only needed one per pair? My point being, if we found one poppet in our hiding spot then...You get where I’m going with this? Chishiya.”
He glanced up at you acknowledgement as you curved a brow, your lips threatening to tug into a smile as you tilted your head, “How confident are you in solving that vent?”
He glanced back down and for the first time, you watch a cocky wide smirk twist onto his lips, “You’re lucky to have someone as smart as me here to be able to open it.” You tucked your tongue into your cheek as in annoyance as he sauntered over to the vent already getting to work, “As for everyone else, we need to open up as many of these as possible to find the other two.”
Everyone immediately scrambled to get to work, with only seven minutes on the clock this was...going to be difficult. First Nanami and Akari searched all the opened spots as you worked on another bed. Rubbing your head as muttered, “Shit...I never was good with puzzles.” You awkwardly hung your head in defeat temporarily, briefly letting your eyes shift to Chishiya who was fiddling with several locks, his gaze sharp and you couldn’t even imagine all the calculations going on in his mind. You were somewhat envious of what it would be like to be that perceptive to anything adhering to logic and solution.
“Aha! Found one!” Akari yanked the poppet from the top of the closest as Nanami covered her mouth, looking like she was gonna throw up being so close to so many dead bodies. You ignored the grisly sight at the second victory of the poppet doll. Akari quickly placed it on the X as you began to work on the puzzle once more, looking up at the clock. Oh no...Oh no there was only three minutes left!
“Chishiya! Hows that puzzle coming along.” You called out, trying not to sound alarmed but you could see the clear cut annoyance on his face as he continued working through the locks, “If you’d like to help while struggling on a novice lock feel free.” He replied condescendingly, not appreciating the pressure.
You rolled your eyes with huff as you finally managed to get it undone, feeling triumphant as you searched under the bed but there was no luck, “There’s nothing here!”
“Or here!”
Several people called out as well as you rubbed your head, standing up, “If the only other place that hasn’t been searched is the vent then maybe there’s only two? It did say a pair.” You felt a lump of anxiety well in your chest at the sight of the clock ticking close to a minute and half.
“Should we really take the risk?” The boyfriend asked as he rubbed his neck, concern on his face as he looked around, “If we’re wrong then we’ll all…”
You hadn’t even thought of that…
“...! Hey.” You turned to Chishiya who seemed to be trying to get your attention making you immediately come over, if he was asking for you it’d have to be for something important given there was nearly less then two minute on the clock, “Hold this right here.” He immediately pushed your hand onto the lock right where he wanted it, “This is a two handle mechanism meaning that there needs to be two people unlocking it. Push down and out at the same time.”
“Hide! Everyone needs to hide now!”
The lights were beginning to flicker as everyone scrambled to hide, stress evidently put on your shoulders now more than ever. You could only hope he was right with your life on the line, “Now!” You pushed down on your side, the lock sliding as you pulled out, pulling a piece of metal holding up the lock directly out as Chishiya did the same with his side.
The lock fell off as well as the metal of the gate of the vent, you immediately with no hesitation leaned inside it was dark and hard to make it out anything besides the steep drop off. So he was right, this was a waste of time for a hiding place.
Looking down you caught sight of wood before laughing in relief, “It’s here! Wait shit! Chishiya! It’s too far down in the vent, you’re gonna have to lower me down to reach it. Time?”
“Forty five seconds.” You felt unfamiliar hands on your hips lifting you up as you were lowered down, “We have time.”
You squinted trying to see as you reached down, “Lower me further! I’m not quite in reach,” Your muscles began to ache in your shoulder as you reached harder, growling in frustration, “Time!?” You were lowered a little further, the wooden poppet brushing against your fingers.
“Thirty seconds! Could you go a little faster?”
“Could you lower me a little quicker- Ah! Hey did you almost let go!?” You snarled back, grabbing the poppet doll, giving a good yank as it lodged in between the crevice it was in, “Get me back up! I got it. Time!”
“Twenty seconds.” Chishiya called back, pulling you up as you gasped, pain from the metal jabbing into your stomach evident as you were met with a darkening room. Setting your feet firmly on the floor your eyes flew to the flock fifteen seconds and your spot was all the way across the room….!
“Where are we supposed to hide!? We can’t get all the way there in time!” You hissed out running to the X as you dropped the poppet down. The lights shut off as the final five seconds counted down and before you could do anything you were shoved to the floor as you squeaked. Your body throbbing in pain and your mouth immediately covered as you were met with the coverage of a bed but neither one of you were bold enough to try and scramble beneath it as the doors slammed open.
Fuck.
Your whole body was tense as your eyes squeezed shut, you were just a little ahead of the X here, if this is all the poppet dolls...they’d have no reason to go further into the room...unless...Your hand squeezed tight around the wrist of the hand that covered your mouth as you tried to calm yourself at the loud thudded footsteps.
It was quiet for a moment before you heard more walking before the doors closed.
“Game Cleared”
The lights turned on as you fell limp against the side of the bed, Chishiya’s hand removed from mouth as you pushed your hair from your face, closing your eyes as you breathed in relief, “Holy shit.” Was all you could mutter to yourself, you had never been more grateful to breathe air in your whole life.
“I guess you weren’t that useless after all huh.” Chishiya clacked his tongue as you turned your head to look at him, raising your brows as your face contorted into something between insult and amusement.
You’ve only known this man for a half an hour and yet...something about his words, if you dug down deep past that smug expression of his, was this a compliment? Looking away you pressed your tongue into your cheek, trying to keep from smiling, “Yeah, and you’re still conceited and arrogant but, I guess you have a good reason to be.” You glanced back at him again but you could hardly hold his gaze, something in that brief moment was electrified between you both as you laughed somewhat sheepishly, closing your eyes as you looked away once more.
What the fuck was even wrong with you? If this was back before today you would’ve totally kicked this guy in the balls and went about your day.
“Y/n!” You straightened up at the sound of Nanami’s voice, your expression brightening as you stood up, quickly running to her as you hugged her tight, “I can’t believe that just happened…” She whispered to you as she pressed her face into your neck. You couldn’t either but, you were thankful you had survived this game. Whatever it was.
“Come on, let's get out of this room.” You tugged on her arm, no longer wanting to be in this death room despite knowing it was all over. Pulling her out you paused at the sight of the TV and a...register…? You bracelet unlocked as you took it off, tossing it on the table as you tilted your head.
“Congratulations Game ''Clear ``.''
“...Now issuing visas to those who survived the game…?” You furrowed your brows as you glanced at Nanami who rubbed her head in confusion. You grabbed the receipt as you looked it over with a frown before picking up the 5 of clubs playing card along with it. Odd.
“It’s how many days you’re allowed to stay now! Almost a whole week, that's a good score for a first game!” Akari called out as she patted your back making you jump a little.
Almost a whole week…”Until we have to play again to...continue our stay?” You raised a brow, deciding not to ask what happens if you refused. While you had many questions, you had a feeling you knew the answer to that one.
A part of you couldn’t even believe this had happened, or was it all still a dream.
“Hey…! Sorry for all of that in there,” You turned to see...oh…! It was the boyfriend of the partner, the gifrlfriend stayed behind looking brooding, “I’m Ryu and that’s my girlfriend Hiroko I was...ah…” He faltered a little, rubbing the back of his neck as his gaze flittered to his girlfriend who was glaring him down, “You should stop by the Beach- I...I think you guys would make good additions! Bye!” He hurried not even finishing his original sentence before scurrying off making you furrow your brows at what he even meant.
“The hell?” Akari raised a brow as she watched the guy run off, “Seems to me he wanted to chat more…guess we know who's really pulling balls in that relationship.”
Nanami suddenly snickered, covering her mouth as she giggled, “Hey Akari! Why don’t we stay together! We did really well in the game together!”
“Awh shit, if you guys really want me too!” Akari offered a quirky smile as you laughed, you had no problems with someone staying behind with you. Looking past Akari your smile faded a little at the sight of a white hoodie exiting the entrance.
“Hey- I’ll be right back!” You pushed past the both of them who paid you no mind as you pushed out of the exit and down the stone steps, not sure why your feet were making you chase after such an egotistical man but…!
“Chishiya!” You called out, making the man pause, he turned around, pulling the earbuds out as he glanced up from his hoodie, raising his brows in acknowledgement, “Um…” Why did you even chase after him…? You stepped down the last step as you wrapped your arms around yourself.
It was silent for a moment as you berated yourself internally for why you seemed so speechless all of a sudden. Chishiya however didn’t seem to mind, his eyes absent now as he stared up at the hospital, “I used to do my clinical rotations here.”
You were broken out of your silent thrashing of internal humiliation as you raised your brows, lips parting in curiosity as you asked, “You were a doctor?”
“No,” Chishiya snorted, that amused calico look of his on his face once more as he looked down at you, “I was a medical student. Training to be a doctor but that obviously didn’t happen…” His lips curved into a frown, his eyes cold once more as they looked back up at the building, “I came here tonight to see if anyone I knew would be here.”
“Oh…” You looked away, feeling somewhat awkward and unsure of how to reply to him as silence took over once more beside the occasional rustling of the wind in the tree’s, the urge to speak overtaking you to the point you couldn't resist, “Chishiya...I…” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful, “We...made a really good team back there.” You forced yourself to look up at him as you offered a bright yet subtly shy smile, “If you want...you could stay with us…?”
Chishiya pulled the lollipop stick from his mouth, letting it drop to the ground as he spoke, “No thanks.” You turned to him in surprise as you frowned a little, you shouldn’t have expected anything less…
“Oh...I understand.” You offered a weak smile as he turned his back on you and began to walk once more, “I just have one more question,” You called out causing him to pause, “...Do you by any chance know about a place called the Beach?”

Note: Whew...! As a lurker in the Alice in borderland fandom I saw a lot of people complaining about the lack of Chishiya fics so I decided to volunteer myself and take on for the team to write a series for this little blonde fucker so PLEASE let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy!! Also
Game Of Hearts

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↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.
↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader
↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller
Word Count: 7k
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Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together!

“So...you beat a 6 of diamonds by yourself on your first try?”
..what the fuck was your sister doing. No really. What did she think she was doing? She had this...look on her face ever since she had been formally introduced to Chishiya and you didn’t like it one bit. Akari had exchanged glances with you several times as you wanted to wilt in embarrassment while your sister continued to parade with this act.
“It was a game of Blackjack, I wasn’t familiar with the rules but after one round it was easy to pick up.” If anything this was a good stroke on his ego which he had to know was getting on your nerves.
It was painfully obvious your sister was trying to make an effort to show some sort of attraction to him to get his attention? You weren’t sure, truthfully all you knew was that if you knew it had to be clear to Chishiya as well who as always kept that same stoic expression on his face, not the slightest interest besides potentially making you mad, “Losers were hung and cheaters were shot.”
You scrunched your face as you watched his eyes flicker to yours briefly, a glimpse of a cheshire smirk on his lips that vanished instantly making your eyes hone into a childish glare. He knew you didn’t like this! He knew it! You just knew that he did!
“Hey, not to come off strong or anythin’ but…” Akari scrunched her nose, “Is your sister a virgin or something? She seems like she really wants to hop on that guys dick.”
You didn’t mean to flail at her words but they were just so jarring to hear. Virgin? Dick? Chishiya? No way in hell should those three words ever be in the same sentence. This drew his attention briefly despite not hearing what Akari had said- thank god.
“I don’t fucking know…!” You whispered harshly to her, “And it’s none of my business but…” you rubbed your neck as you sighed, “She probably is.” You relented making Akari howl laughing as you pinched the bridge of your nose, “She’s always had this thing with being insecure and feeling like she’s never enough for guys…personally I always felt the opposite.”
“You’re extremely attractive and no man is worthy of you?” Akari tilted her head as she shrugged, “I can see it.”
“No!” You replied a little flustered, tugging on a strand of hair, “I mean I feel like if she was just confident in herself she’d get laid as much as she wants…” you had decided to not continue your original words with what you had intended. Which was, Nanami always compared herself to you. Nothing made you feel worse than knowing she constantly beat herself up because of you.
Many considered it pretty privilege. It existed, sure.
Did you experience this? More than your fair share, more than you ever wanted truthfully. To the point of feeling dehumanized in a way. Particularly in your line of work as a prostitute before all this happened. Or maybe it was before then? You can’t remember anymore.
Regardless, you often found that while people were much nicer to you. They are always extremely insincere. Particularly men. Watching Nanami get a little closer to Chishiya made you immediately stand up as you gave her a menacing smile, “Nanami, can I talk to you for a second, alone?”
….
“What’s the problem with it!” Nanami had that sour pout she always sported when you call her out on something that wasn’t typically considered- but she also knew- wasn’t a good idea either, “Sure he’s not a prince charming but…” She tugged on a strand of hair as she let a tiny girlish smile tug on her lips, “He’s still pretty cute, and besides we almost just died tonight! I feel like I earned it.”
Shifting away from her, you facepalmed as you sighed, you understood. You did, you all almost died and now what better way to celebrate then getting finally losing your virginity in celebration. No you couldn’t relate to that in particular but you understood. Still...couldn’t she have picked someone a little more… “I just...don’t think it’s a good idea talking to him. That’s all…! I mean seriously, look at him. He’d probably stab us in our sleep if it meant he got an extra charge on his phone.”
“What? So you’re saying I can’t talk to him?” Nanami crossed her arms as she glared at you ungratefully, as you wistfully sighed, looking out to where the other two sat, they were a good distance away where they both sat talking at the fire Akari had built.
You glanced away from her as you puffed a breath, not sure why she was getting such a sour attitude, did she seriously like this guy that much already? Because that wouldn’t do, at all, “Look I’m not saying you can’t talk to him I’m just saying...stop...whatever you’re trying to do! Chishiya is...Nami…!” You cried out in frustration as you grabbed your head, “A guy like that is only going to gaslight the fuck out of you! Take it from me, no amount of skill in bed is good enough for that! He’s trouble Nanami.”
“Then why did you ask him to come with us?” Nanami accused you as she glared at you even more sour than before as you groaned. To be fair he did decline at first. Initially you had asked Chishiya about the beach just as a start to figure out what the guy Ryu was talking about but all of sudden Chishiya said he changed his mind and he wanted to stay with you all. Probably out of curiosity of what the Beach was. You couldn’t blame him.
“He wanted to come with us regardless of me because of looking for the Beach!” You retaliated, why was she getting so defensive!? You just had her best interest at heart here! Whatever if she really wanted to sleep with him that much it wasn’t your business but you didn’t want to deal with her crying when he busted one and conveniently found a reason to leave again. You paused your thought as you glanced at Chishiya who was looking up at the sky.
Would he really do something like that though? Brief hesitation passed through you, you didn’t know. You didn’t know anything with him. For the first time in your life, you didn’t know. And it put you on edge. Severely. What was his intention here? A part of you doubted he’d even sleep with Nanami, just because of who he was.
Regardless of what happened, you still weren’t sure about him. Just because you had been partnered with Chishiya, you had the distinct feeling, it would be wise to not trust him completely. Not yet at least.
Nanami groaned as she stomped her foot, “Why are you always like this Y/n! Can't you just let me do what I want? I am an adult now.”
Yes that’s right, she was an ‘adult’ now, making very adult decisions. Sighing you rubbed your forehead, deciding to just give up for now, “Yeah you are, clearly. Do whatever you want.” You didn’t have the energy after tonight to try and do this right now. And maybe Chishiya would leave on his own, he seemed pretty intended on that before you had brought up your search.
Puffing a breath you watched as Nanami stomped away as she crossed her arms and headed back for the camp. You couldn’t believe her right now…! Out of all the guys she had to choose she wanted to choose the most lifeless guy possible…?
You knew why she was doing this, well you couldn’t know for sure but you had the sneaking suspicion it was because when you both were younger it was because guys always tended to linger around because of you. Perhaps that’s where that sense of insecurity came from…?
Truthfully you never wanted a rivalry between you and your sister, in some ways you considered yourself her caretaker, when no one else was there for her you made sure you were. Every, single, time. You wished she’d just be a little more transparent when it came to things like this and you could work things out without so much emotional stress. Especially now that your life hangs in the balance between life and death constantly.
Wrapping your jacket around yourself you let out a soft sigh shaking your head before turning to face the car parking building, it spiraled upwards and suddenly an idea struck you. Rather than going back to the camp you entered it, pushing into the small room of staircases where you walked up.
Your legs ached by the time you pushed the door open to the top floor that overlooked the night sky. A smile slowly crept on your face as you inhaled the cool night air, you used to love doing this back when you were still in school. Climbing up here all by yourself to listen to some music and overlook the city lights.
Grabbing onto the ledge that overlooked the city you frowned again looking over the wash of black, all the venues must’ve been finished tonight, where some had a game clear or game over would never be known to you. But still, just the notion made you feel nauseous, who could ever do something like this? You tried tracing your memory back but you drew a blank.
Hoping up you sat down on the ledge letting your legs swing out over the blank unknown, looking down you came to the conclusion that if you leaned just a little too far, you’d probably die from falling. Who would’ve thought that would be a kind death compared to other people here.
Hearing a loud blast you jumped as you looked up at the sky only in horror to watch red lasers shoot from the sky all in synchronicity. Your stomach churned once more at the sight that was straight out of a horror film and within a brief second, suddenly it was gone.
“It happened last night too.”
You jolted once more at the cool toned voice as you grabbed your chest, “Jesus do you want me to just slip to my death!?” You chastised as you turned to Chishiya, when did he even get here? Heaving a breath you grabbed back onto the ledge as you leaned back on your hands, “...I guess we know what happens to those who don’t participate in games…”
How horrid, really...how could this even be reality at all? Was this really some kind of simulation or...experiment? A cruel one? Your mind drifted to the Beach again where Ryu must’ve hoped you’d go with them...His girlfriend though...you weren’t sure you trusted her either to be honest.
“...Where do you think we’ll find the Beach?” You turned to Chishiya, his hoodie covering his head as he leaned onto the railing overlooking the city that was engulfed in darkness, his eyes however cast out to the sky where those constellations from before only became more vivid.
He snorted, “Over a body of water, clearly as the name suggests. An actual beach would be too literal otherwise a full name would’ve accompanied it. Perhaps a ship or a hotel? I’ll need a map tomorrow and we can narrow it from there.”
Tucking your tongue into your cheek you heaved a breath, “I’ve known you less than a day but...I get the feeling I’d hate to be your rival.” It was the truth, Chishiya if anything, was not someone who was considered all bark and no bite. Something about those eyes looked so cold and ruthless. As if he genuinely held no concern or resolve for anyone but himself. You frowned as you watched him carefully, what a sad life to live if that was the case.
You watched something akin to a smirk twist on his lips, as if he was proud to hear those words despite it insinuating some amount of fear in you. Which you’d say was partially true, not that you truly feared him but...If he was an enemy? You were simply glad he wasn’t. Especially if he was as ruthless as he appeared.
“So you don’t want me to talk to your sister?”
Your eyes immediately shot open from their lazed state as you twisted to face where Chishiya leaned on the railing, something so annoying about those smug eyes of his as if he was just talking about the weather. Tucking your tongue into your cheek an annoyed smile appeared on your lips, “Oh, so that’s why you’re here? What did she tell you.”
Chishiya didn’t say anything only looking at you with that cocky smirk and dark eyes as slowly your expression faded as you realized she didn’t tell him anything he just took a guess as to what happened between you both and you just confirmed, “You are very annoying you know that?” Your voice lowered a little as you leaned a little closer to him, your expression dry at the realization you fell right into his trap.
He shrugged, but you could tell in his demeanor even when you weren’t meaning too you were still feeding that massive ego of his, “Now that you confirmed it, what’s the problem?” You weren’t scared of him in terms of confrontation. Even if you felt the internal voice in the back of your head tell you that you should be.
“It’s nothing personal against you,” You shrugged, deciding that regardless, it would be best if you were careful with your interactions with him, “Nanami is just…” You pressed your lips together, looking out over the night sky as you spoke, “This world doesn’t deserve someone like her, and someone like you?” A lopsided smile twisted on your lips as you laughed a little, “Be honest with yourself, I shouldn’t have to even explain that.”
“Someone like me?” Chishiya challenged much to your surprise as you looked at him, it was your turn to be amused as he waited for an answer that you didn’t want to give. Why would you? And personally, it was as you said, it was nothing against him.
You had no problems with him, “What about someone like you?” His expression turned smug and cold as he spoke, “I get the feeling you just infantilize your sister to the point she feels suffocated, if she chooses to do something stupid it’s only to get away from you. So what does someone like me have to do with this?” His expression became all the more sinister at your face darkening, “It shouldn’t be me you should be worrying about.” He shrugged, that calico smug smile of his on his lips as he shrugged, “So by all means, explain your wording, I’d love to hear you blame shift to ignore your own problems.”
You glared down at your shoes, infantilized? You didn’t…! Anger simmered in your veins as you took a shaky breath to calm yourself as you let out a short laugh, suddenly looking up with a strained expression as you spoke, “Alright, I was going to be nice, but since you have no social ethic I’ll tell you why. I took one look at you when we first met and all I see is someone who’s completely hollow on the inside. Someone like you?”
You spat out as your brows furrowed, “Has no remorse or care for others and after trying to figure out why I realized it’s not out of a bad life or mistreatment of any kind. You're just that kind of person that really doesn’t care. You’re the worst kind of person Chishiya, you don’t have any reason for the way you are, and I think you know that more than anyone else. This isn’t me trying to blame shift, I’m very well aware of my own problems, this has to do with someone like you manipulating and taking advantage of anyone, in your own words, stupid enough to fall for it.”
You shrugged, your expression dim as you had hoped maybe Chishiya would’ve intervened to counter you and dispel your argument, but the more you spoke, the more you watched his expression become more cold and the more your own words were confirmed to you, “And you know what I think?”
You frowned a little now, somehow saddened by the fact that there was obviously some truth in your words, “I think deep down, you're envious of people like us who can at least outwardly muster the attempt to be kind to people. Where as you?” You laughed a little, “You're so empty, you can’t even fake that. Every time I look at you, I see nothing. No concern, no care, not even anger. Just, nothing.”
The silence between you both, for the first time, felt very loud. Tapping your lip you hummed, deciding to shove even more salt into the wound, a bitter aftertaste about his words previously making you speak, “You know…” You turned around as you hopped off the ledge, now looking up at Chishiya’s figure that was still outlooking the city, “I’d diagnose you as a sociopath, but well...typically they’re charismatic. So I really don’t know what you are. Other than an incredibly sad existence.”
Walking down the steps by yourself you felt the silence loud as your footsteps echoed. A part of yourself was licking your own wounds at his words, infantilizing…! You didn’t...you paused at the bottom of the steps, your expression wavering as you rubbed your neck...did you really do that to your sister…?
Looking back up at the steps you suddenly felt the urge to go back up and apologize to him, you were incredibly honest in your assessment, but...he did ask for it. Even after you tried to be polite about it. And if you could get anything from that, it was the assumption that he just genuinely thought you couldn’t read him or anyone else that well.
You shook your head as you went back to the camp, whatever...It’s not like you’d be in contact with this guy for long. Once you all figured out what this Beach was, you’d simply part ways afterwards and you would no longer have to deal with him. Laying down on the taller grass wasn’t a great bed as you looked up at the sky.
Still...it seemed like you were fire and ice together. You starkly remembered the look on his face, similar to now but something was different when you had both heard the words Game Cleared...you groaned as you rolled onto your side.
Men were so frustrating.

“Are you sure this is it?” You felt a little reluctant at the sight ahead, there were certainly a lot of people but...it was as if they were far, far away from the reality of the Borderlands. And then it became apparent. Escapism, at it’s pure finest, if you had seen anything like it before.
Chishiya’s eyes scanned over the map as he nodded, “If it’s anywhere, it’s here.” He confirmed as you all looked ahead as you curved a brow before shrugging as you sighed, it was better than nothing and you could use some answers.
Strangely, it was as if last night's conversation didn’t exist between you both. You had woken up this morning and continued on as you had before, it was...very strange. You had anticipated he’d either leave or he’d alienate you. Maybe both? But then it occurred to you, he probably just didn’t care what you thought.
You thought back on his expression which lead you to assume that no...It wasn’t that he didn’t care, granted he definitely didn’t care what you thought, that was a give but it wasn’t that he didn’t care in another way...That expression, it was dark and cold, not angry but...something bitter...How strange. You couldn’t pinpoint it. You were just glad you could, at the very least, co exist for the short while you’d be together.
“Well! Let’s go say hi then! I’m sure they’ll take us right to the leader or something...right?” Nanami leaned over to you in confirmation as you gave a weak smile before shrugging. You didn’t see any weapons and everyone was too busy playing around in the pool for you to assume otherwise.
“Well shit let’s go! That looks like a lot of fun!” Akari was the first to bolt and Nanami was quickly after her as you and Chishiya walked behind them both and upon someone seeing you they had called out, “New comers!”
And it was as if the whole party stopped. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you rubbed your neck, “Talk about party crashing...” You mumbled, immediately feeling unwelcome.
“Hey…! You guys made it!” Ryu had pulled himself out of the pool in excitement as he ran up to you all, a boyish grin on his face in awe, “You found us surprisingly fast! It usually takes most people a week at most.” Well most people didn’t have a brainiac in their group...You briefly glimpsed at Chishiya who stayed just as stoic as always. Had it not been for him it probably would’ve taken two weeks to find this place.
“Well if you’re here to join us I’ll take you to number 1!” Ryu nodded as he gestured to you all to follow him as you carefully looked around as you frowned, this place almost felt too good to be true...What even was it?
Opening the doors to the upper level where all the higher ranked...members? Stayed you weren’t sure what you were expecting, “Welcome to Utopia! The Beach!” The man held up a bottle and his frizzy blonde hair swished around with his eccentric waving hands. It was the wall behind him that first you noticed.
Playing cards had been drawn and only a little more than fifteen were X’d off? Was this supposed to be a whole playing deck? “Number 1! This was the group I told you about last night…!” Ryu waved a hand to you all in excitement, “I think they’d be a great addition to the Beach and it’s search for the cards!”
“Cards?” Akari echoed out as she crossed her arms, flicking her hat up a bit to see better as you looked between both men.
The man let out a hardy laugh that made you wince a little...why did it feel like he was more than just...eccentric…? “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves Ryu.” The man slammed him on the back a little to hard making him jump as he rubbed his neck sheepishly, “Allow me to introduce myself! I’m Danma Takeru formly, most know me as the Hatter. Here in this paradise we foster hope for all! Drink as much as you’d like, eat to your heart's content do whatever pleases your soul!”
This was way too good to be true. It had to be...
Something about Hatter seemed absent but you couldn’t figure out what only for it to immediately strike you, it wasn’t that he was eccentric, no...He was definitely neurotic, you weren’t sure how or in what way, but your professor had made your class do a project based on the signs and symptoms of neuroticism based in serial killers that could be attributed to the lead up in their crimes. Not that you assumed this was the potential for Hatter but...well it was the Borderlands and surely it had taken a toll on everyone to a degree...some more then others...
“There’s only three rules to allow you to stay here! The first being when on Beach property, swimwear is required!” He pointed a finger before lifting a second, “The second can be considered quite important.” Hatter turned around as he waved at the large wall, “It’s quite simplistic and I can’t leak my source. There’s only one escape from this hell, and that’s by collecting all the playing cards!”
All potential problems aside your chest fluttered a little at his words, escape…! So this really was real, and you all were experiencing it and the only way out was through collecting a whole deck? Hatter madly grinned as he spoke, “A team of players is created each night as a group of three or four with balanced strengths in their respective game type where the chances of death are lowered significantly! The way this works is simple, rule two is to give up all your cards.”
Really? That's all it took, this was…! This had to be full proof, a part of you still felt this was too good to be true, and you were sure part of it had to due with Hatter, despite his obvious signs of some sort of mental illness, he was quite the charming and upbeat person, it would be hard for anyone to not want to match his energy, “That’s right!” Hatter crossed his arms triphumantly, “Once we collect a whole deck a single person will be chosen to leave!”
What…
Just…Just one person! “But…wait- how does that work? I don’t understand.” You immediately spoke up, pushing forward a little bit as Hatter’s gaze turned onto you, that wild grin of his showing as he chuckled.
“We have a whole ranked system here! The more cards you collect the more your rank moves and the value of each card contributes to your rank. Creating one full deck is impossible for one person but the impossible becomes possible when you band a whole crew together, we have a lot of repeating cards so once the first person leaves more will soon follow after. That’s the goal of our utopia The Beach!”

“I can’t believe we’re actually a part of something so…! Hopeful!” Nanami squealed from behind the barrier, she had finished changing faster than you but she was too excited, a brief smile tugged on your face as you glanced at the barrier before back to your dilemma, “I’m gonna go lay out at the pool! Catch up later?”
“Yeah! Don’t wait up for me I’m...probably gonna be awhile…” You sighed as you rubbed your neck, you never really liked swimsuits all that much…
Nanami hurried out of the room as you sighed, picking up the bikini top in dismay...did they really expect you to wear beach attire the full time? Grabbing the halter top you hummed...beach attire! Okay you could make this work.
It had taken a little longer than you expected to find something that didn’t make you feel so exposed but in the end it worked out. Pulling up the high waisted shorts you ignored how far up your ass it pulled. You’d make it work! Pulling up the sheer beach cover you nodded in affirmation. Still somewhere in your mind lingered an important question, was this really worth it?
Much to your surprise after Akari had agreed straight away Chishiya was the one after to agree, he didn’t seem thrilled...hardly excited either. It made you briefly wonder if he was only staying because this place had electricity which Ryu explained on the way to the dressing room that was fueled by a mass of propane tanks.
Regardless you wouldn’t be picky...It didn’t seem too terrible here. Just cards for free stay to food and a warm bed? It’s not like you’d get a full deck on your own, much like Hatter said you’d prefer to just live out your days at least in functional condition. And hey maybe if you gathered enough cards you’d move to a higher rank. You still wanted to chat with Ryu but just how the Borderlands worked.
Closing the door the room you decided you’d search for him immediately.
The hotel was massive and not even all the floors were in use, looking down at your bracelet that was slated with 52, there was only currently what…? Forty members? Maybe a little more? Stepping out onto the terris your eyes scanned the large crowd that was all laid out, some in the pool and you could spot your sister surrounded by three guys, clacking your tongue you shook your head as you watched her giggle. It was hard to believe she had a complex some days but men not liking her...Honestly.
Close to the middle of the pool you spotted Ryu and Hiroko, who for once had a smile on her face as she splashed him with a giggle. You felt brief hesitation, not wanting to interrupt but...you did want to hear a more detailed explanation about...well everything and Ryu seemed the most approachable…
Shifting a little as you looked down at your attire as you sighed in exasperation, finding a pool chair before shimmying your pants off and kicking off your flip flops before sitting at the edge of the pool dipping your feet in, “Hey Ryu!” You waved over, “Hiroko! Can I have a minute?” Hiroko frowned immediately upon sight of you but with a few whispered words from Ryu she adhered.
“Hey…! I never did get your name. I really am glad you made it! Hatter has been asking us to go out and find people to bring it to help keep growing the Beach.”
You offered a small smile as you kicked your feet in the water, it was the heat of july after all and the water was perfect for swimming, “Y/n, and that's my sister Nanami over there.” You nodded towards Nanami who was giggling over two highscool boys who kept shoving each other in hopes of getting her attention, “Thanks by the way, for last night. Honestly if it wasn’t for Chishiya it probably would’ve taken us weeks to find this place. It’s nice here.”
“You mean the sour blonde?” Hiroko snorted as she glanced over near the pavilion they had set up, turning to follow her gaze you had spotted where Chishiya now was, sporting a pair of white swim trunks and his jacket still zipped up only with his headphones in and on his phone.
“Is there even a wifi signal here?” You frowned as you tilted your head in wonder, he did look pretty sour sitting there, “Ah- anyways, yeah! That’s him, unfortunately he does live up to expectation.” You rolled your eyes a little as you returned your gaze back to the both of them before offering a weak smile, “What I wanted to ask was...God where do I even start, what are the playing cards, and what do they represent? Given we’re supposed to collect them I’m sure they have some significance, that’s a given.”
“Playing cards are awarded for each game you play, the numerical value determines how long you’re allowed to stay at the borderlands on your visa, so if you were to complete a game at a value of five, you’d be allowed five days of stay” Ryu explained carefully, “Much like in a regular deck there’s four suits. What we played last night was a Clubs game, it stands for team building, meaning the game is usually associated with needing to work as a team to clear the game. Spades are related to physical activity- ah...not really my strong suit…” He rubbed the back of his neck feeling a bit sheepish.
“He’s great at them!” Hiroko boasted, obviously proud of her boyfriend as she wrapped an arm around his waist, “He’s just modest- Diamonds stands for intellect and wit, typically anything that has to do with puzzle solving or use of logic and reason. Hearts though….” She winced a little as her nose wrinkled making you tilt your head in confusion, “I’m not sure to be honest, many say it’s a game of psychology, playing with the players minds to make simple game clears a lot harder. I’ve never experienced a heart game though. We’re still missing a lot on the board.”
You tapped your lip as you hummed, “That doesn’t sound too terrible, I did notice they only have the 2 of hearts and the Ace up on the board...The most they’ve collected is spades and clubs?”
“They’re the most common from what I’ve seen.” Ryu shrugged, “I’ve also never had a heart game, I had two diamond though and a lot of clubs and a few spades.”
You thought about it for a moment before nodding, alright this made sense, “And I’m guessing numerical value is the rating of difficulty?”
Ryu brightly smiled as he nodded, “Yeah! We haven’t gotten anything past a seven though! And only one person experienced it and that was a Clubs too…” He rubbed the back of his head in thought, “Well things here only took off a few weeks ago to be fair…”
“Just a few weeks ago?” Your mouth dropped in surprise before looking around in awe, “I never would've guessed! I thought it would take longer to build up such a crowd honestly…”
“Not a few weeks-” Hiroko smacked Ryu on the back of the head as he whined a little, rubbing the sore spot as she spoke matter of factly, “It’s been a few weeks that we’ve been here...I think it’s been going for about a month altogether though...Things have been a little...tense…” She looked reluctant as she glanced away, a shadow cast over her face as you frowned, turning your head a little.
Ryu and Hiroko exchanged looks as she nodded a little, “Well…” Ryu rubbed his shoulder as he lowered his voice, “Hiroko is in the top ten right now because of how much she participates in games, so one day she was with Kuzuryuu, Mihiru and An number 3, 4 and 5 right?” You nodded as you brows scrunched a little, wondering why Ryu seemed a little flighty as his eyes darted around as he lowered his voice once more, “Keep this between us alright? But when they opened the door with Agni- number 2 to a room full of slaughtered people. Apparently Hatter killed them all because they were hiding cards from him.”
...Oh...so you were right? In assuming Hatter was definitely neurotic. Your professor would probably be proud but somehow you had a hard time taking pride in your assessment.
Hiroko winced a little at the memory as she looked away reluctantly, “...Hatter hasn’t really been the same, he only just created rule number three last week…” Right, rule number three.
Death to all traitors. You had definitely suspected something was up with Hatter when he had explained that one but...you always tried your best to give the benefit of the doubt to everyone until you could no longer defend their actions by logic.
That one had admittedly caught your attention when Hatter explained that anyone with holding cards would be killed or if they tried to desert the Beach, a little scary but...again it wasn’t like it was possible for you to create a deck by yourself...But know knowing the story behind why that rule was put in place did make you feel a bit...Uneasy.
“That just happened?” Your face twisted a little as you wrapped your arms around yourself, both Ryu and Hiroko nodded.
“Mhm, just last week. Things are slowly getting back to normal, there've been a few people resistant but I try not to think about it, word of advice? Just stay away from the militant sect, follow the rules and you’ll be fine.” Hiroko, for the first time offered a weak smile, despite her cool disposition she wasn’t too terrible.
“Coming through y’all!” All three of you turned to watch Akari running full speed at the pool before jumping in making you jump as you covered the droplets of water that sprinkled you, “Whatcha talkin’ about over here? Secrets?” Akari swam up, floating on top of the water with a dorky smile, “I love secrets!”
You couldn’t help but giggle as you splashed Akari with your foot as she yelped, flailing to stand up right, “Nothing that concerns you, did you abandon Nanami by herself.”
“No offense but I think she’s doing pretty fine by herself.” Akari snorted as she nodded to Nanami, still yet again surrounded by boys but now had at least three drinks untouched sitting on the glass table next to her. Puffing a breath you rolled your eyes with a smile, typical.
“They’re back!” Someone screamed before you heard more cheers making you straighten up as Hiroko puffed a breath, laying her arms on the edge of the pool as she rolled her eyes, “They went out to gather supplies because that snake tongue freak kept joking about using Ryu as target practice. I told Agni we were low on dry foods and alcohol so it worked out.”
“W-well he wanted to set stuff on top of my head to um…” Ryu coughed a little as he looked away bashfully, twisting around you frowned as you watched several men walk in making your expression further contort. They all had guns. Like all of them. How has there not been a mass shootout?
“We got all the liquor you could need! Get it fresh in the back everyone!” Your nose wrinkled at the sight of several piercings and you immediately knew who Hiroko was previously referencing to.
“That’s Samura he just joined a few days ago,” Ryu spoke up as he nodded towards the guy with a fucking katanna on his back and tattoos all over his face, “People uh, just call him Last Boss though, he kinda looks like the end boss of a game that takes ages to beat. I think it suits him to be honest, a bit weird though…He immediately joined the militant sect as soon as he joined.”
Hiroko rolled her eyes as she spoke, “Yeah Niragi apparently took a liking to him or something- I try not to keep up with them, they give me a headache. Plus that guy looks like a total shut in before he got dropped into the Borderlands, he has zero social skills.” You weakly smiled as you rubbed the back of your neck, that was a bit harsh...although you would say Last Boss did seem...there was something so focused yet...absent about his eyes.
He in a strange way almost reminded you of a toddler that was still working on coordination between completing an action with someone's speech.
The sun was suddenly blocked and a shadow casted over you as a raspy voice shouted out, “Well what do we have here? Fresh meat.” You glanced up to the tall dark haired figure, oh it was...snake tongue freak? As Hiroko had previously said, you would’ve in any other situation snapped something but this guy was carrying a sniper rifle like it was a loaf of bread.
You wrapped your arms around yourself as you looked a little away, unsure of what to say as Hiroko suddenly stood all the way up, pushing herself out of the pool to stand up fully as she gave him a sneering glare, “Niragi go fuck with someone else.”
The man- Niragi leaned back a little as he took a few steps back, cackling as he held up his hands, his tongue sticking out showing off the piercing briefly before he spoke, “Well excuse me miss bitch, I wasn’t talking to you.” A twisted smile appeared on his lips like it was some sort of sick amusement at Hiroko’s darkening glare, “Lemme see you kitty.”
You made a noise similar to a yelp as you were suddenly dragged up to your feet and way too close to guy for comfort, his tongue sticking out and you were for a half a second wondering if he intended on licking you, “What a nice little body here, and such a pretty face too.” He cooed out sickeningly as he squeezed your face harshly, as you looked away from him, “I bet you and me would have a great time wouldn’t we.”
You had dealt with a lot worse truthfully, and somewhere deep inside you were grateful you had otherwise you’d probably be in tears at how terrifying and semi psychotic this man was, “Sorry…” You winced looking up at him with an unappreciative look, “I only fuck people like you when they have a good paycheck.”
Niragi howled out laugh making you briefly relax for a moment, offering a weak smile, at least he had a sense of- “Hey!” You screeched, suddenly being hauled against him as you squirmed to push away from him as you felt his hot wet tongue on your neck, “Let go!”
His hands crawled their way up your waist as you squirmed, his tongue dragging up the lobe of your ear as he growled a whisper, “Why deny a good time huh? It’s okay, they’re always more fun when they resist.” He couldn’t get further when you jammed your knee between his legs taking the brief moment of his pain before harshly shoving him into the pool where a loud splash covered everyone who didn’t even pay any mind to the scene which obviously happened often much to your disappointment.
Hiroko was immediately at your side, something motherish about the way she held you close as you watched Niragi flailed before getting his footing in the pool as he snarled, “You bitch!” Hiroko immediately brought you both back, her chest puffed as she glared him down as he crawled out of the pool, now towering over you both.
What happened next baffled the both of you, something- No...a rock? It smacked straight across his head, not enough to cause any damage but enough to gain his attention, “These are quite useful for short range,”
You whipped around in shock at the familiar voice, Chishiya had thrown a rock up before catching it as he glanced at the small thing, holding it up in examination, “Throw it hard enough and it could probably take out an eye,” He looked up at Niragi with perhaps the most frightening smile you had ever seen, his eyes in that classic cold sneer as he spoke, “Looks like you could use it given how blind you are.”
You stepped away a little uneasy at the tension in the air that suddenly spiked as Niragi glared him down, Chishiya’s lips quirked into a smirk as he shoved his hands back into his pockets, not looking the least bit concerned.
Wasn’t this just perfect?

Note: I am by no means a Niragi simp but like,,,he lowkey kinda fun to write when Chishiya is constantly baiting this man into violence. Next chapter is v fun!! lemme know what you guys think so far! :)
Game Of Hearts

| 4 |
↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.
↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader
↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller
Word Count: 10k
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Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together!

15th Day Sojourn
“Nanami!?” You opened the curtains of her room, your face screwed in anger as she groaned curling into her bed, “What the hell!? You have one day left on your visa and you got hammered!? And what?” You waved at her as she pulled the blanket up upon realization she wasn’t dressed. At all, “Decided to get railed while you’re at it!?”
She groaned as she collapsed back against the bed, “Sorry I don’t have a death wish like you do,” She sneered making your lips part as you scoffed at her words. Death wish!? You understood, going out when it wasn’t required wasn’t something most chose to do. But you had a good dynamic going with Ryu, Hiroko and Akari. You all made a good group together, and it wasn’t every night!
It was just a few times a week! It had been a little over, two? Three weeks at most now? That you had been at the beach? Life was about as good as it could be given the circumstances of your living space. But you made it work.
Truthfully, you weren’t sure what direction your relationship with Nanami was headed, you understood you saw one another less but...It was like this before you had arrived at the Borderlands, what had changed? You felt confused and a bit lost, Nanami had only gotten more and more annoyed recently well...anytime you spoke to her truthfully.
You glared down at the empty bottles, obviously the Beach was the problem here. It was a gateway to all kinds if bad habits that Nanami had clearly taken up. You hardly saw her anymore because she was either too busy partying with her new friends or completely wasted, “This…! Nanami! This isn’t you.” You threw the bottle onto the ground next to her bed as you threw up your hands, “At all! You’d never be this tardy on the day you prep for a game!”
Nanami groaned loudly as she got out of bed, holding the sheet up as she grabbed her clothes, looking irritated at your presence as she growled, “Since when do you care about my games!?” She fumbled as she got dressed as best she could, “All you ever do is try and throw your life away! You never even tell me when you’re going out! One of these days you’re gonna go out and it’ll be the last time I ever see you! Do you realize how stressful that is!?”
Pulling up her bikini top she immediately shoved the door of the room open as your lips parted quickly chasing after her, “You don’t think I try to tell you!?” You shouted back, people immediately making way through the hallway as your brows pinched, “You were too busy getting fucked against a wall when I tried to tell you last week! What the fuck! This is not completely my fault! I could be better about it sure but you…!”
Nanami paused at the end of the steps, now in the lobby as she turned to face you, “But me!? There’s nothing about me! You are so fucking suffocating! I’m not a child Y/n!” An indiginant hurt panged through your chest at her words.
Hopping off the last step you followed after her as your fists curled, “I wouldn’t if you stopped acting like one!” You shouted back, anger coursing through your veins at her accusations, what was with her behavior!? You’d lay back if it meant she’d stop this...these destructive habits!
If she wanted to drink that was fine, if she wanted to sleep with someone it was whatever, she was an adult but this was way too excessive! “All I see is someone trying to prove she's an adult when all she is, is trying way too hard to be someone she isn’t!”
You didn’t care how half the people in the lobby looked awkward and somehow a lot of people were quickly finding the exit. Nanani gasped as she turned around, you could almost see the steam coming out of her ears as her fists curled, “You…! You have no idea who I even am!” She snarled back, “Other than looking at me like a baby! You’ve always been too busy with your friends or school or work and half the time you lied! Why is it I got to hear from somebody other then you that you fucked people for a living. That you were a whore for money!”
You immediately looked away from her as you crossed your arms defensively, hurt beginning to throb in your chest at her words, feeling somewhat caught off guard at that being brought up. You weren’t embarrassed, ashamed? Maybe a little despite your mind telling you that you shouldn’t be.
“Y/n you are NOT mom, you will never be mom. Ever since she died you’ve felt the need to be some fucking savior for me and you don’t! You have no idea what I need. So push off and stop acting like you do!” Nanami snapped, her eyes burning with an anger that looked a lot like hate.
That...You wouldn’t deny that stung. You could hear footsteps quickly walking away as you looked at your feet, your eyes stinging and your vision blurring as your lips quivering and your expression contorted somewhat painfully in an attempt to try to not let the sting of pain burn too deep.
She was just angry, you told yourself in an attempt to lick the wounds that were already in your heart to begin with. It was like being reopened and salt being doused onto it.
You only felt more angry as you furiously rubbed away the warm trail of liquid on your cheeks, irritation blossoming in your chest at the feeling of eyes on you as you hissed, “You can stop staring!” Turning to face the white hood that had been leaned against the wall, previously on his phone but much like everyone else it was hard for Chishiya to not stare at the drama unfolding five feet away.
“Well,” Chishiya clacked his tongue, a semi amused expression his face as he spoke, “What did I tell you?” He quickly shut his mouth at the glare you sent him, wiping your cheek once more, your lips pathetically quivering, he probably thought that and hey, you’d admit it was pretty pathetic.
“I get it you don’t really care about my feelings but I really don’t appreciate the ‘I told you so’ right now,” You waved towards your face as you sniffed wrapping your arms around yourself as you waved a hand at the door, “You know, I never intended to…”
You pressed your tongue into your cheek as you sharply inhaled, “It doesn’t matter,” You sighed looking low, as you rubbed your eyes, “You were right. But I never meant for it to come off like that. Everything I ever did in my life was so that she’d never have to go through what I did.”
There it was again, the bitter tears that threatened to escape your eyes as you stared down at your blurry hands, “To have that kicked back in my face- excuse me for being human, but I feel like the tears are justified.” You looked up at him again as you sniffed, rubbing your eyes again that glossed with wetness.
“And I would never hold that above her or against her. I know she didn’t ask for that, but that’s how much I love her. She is all I have. She would never need to thank me for what I’ve done. I’d do it again no questions asked. But that? That was uncalled for.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to not let yourself get anymore upset then you already were.
“Well, you can’t control how she reacts, obviously.” Chishiya shrugged, having been, maybe a little too used to your random bursts of emotions as he spoke in a sing-song voice, “But the more power you give her the more it’ll make you upset. You should really just drop it.”
You puffed a breath as you rubbed your eyes, “I can’t stand you some days.” Your lips quivered into a pout making Chishiya scoff, probably due to how pathetic you looked.
“Because I’m right?” He spoke as he stepped off the wall, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he raised his brows. You didn’t reply to him as you crossed your arms. Things between you both had been...interesting to say the least.
You by no means considered yourself close friends but...ever since the three of hearts games, you could only assume, that you both had come to a certain understanding of one another. Most days you had never even meant to talk to him. You just always happened to be in the same place at the same time.
Finally you rolled your eyes, feeling a little more composed as you huffed, “There's no debating with you about whether or not you’re right.” You glanced up at him and it was his turn to stay silent before a cocky smirk curved on his lips making you throw your head back with a sigh to try to cover the urge to laugh, yes that was a very familiar sight, “Your ego is gonna get you killed one day.”
You turned to start walking as Chishiya replied, “Maybe, if someone actually takes the bluff. But I don’t think anyone will.” You clacked your tongue, shaking your head as you said nothing in return. In some ways, you even believed him.
If there was anything you had learned about Chishiya it was that he truly was an insane combination of cold and calculating, mixed with a sense of naiveness that others falsely perceived him as, with a dash of, menacing playfulness? But just enough chaos mixed to keep anyone from truly figuring him out.
Still to this day it was difficult to read him. But in some ways, you really enjoyed it. And some parts of you, deep down, did enjoy his company. He always had some dry or witty remark to make, no matter how unpleasant he could be at times.
“Are we still on for tonight?” You looked up at him, a small smile on your face as you both exited to the pool yard where music was blasting and it was permanently summertime, who would’ve thought you were in the Borderlands here, honestly.
Chishiya raised a brow as he spoke, “I’d assume, unless you’re gonna be useless and sulk the whole time.” You rolled your eyes at him, an amused snort escaping you.
“No…! But,” You paused making him pause, “Ah, who knows maybe I’ll just get hit by a car and I won’t have to deal with that anymore.” You waved towards Nanami with her friends as you snickered, making Chishiya roll his eyes at your theatrics, forever the drama queen in his opinion.
“Y/n!” Your gaze shot to where Ryu and Hiroko were laid out in lawn chairs next to the pool where Akari was sitting at the edge. You glanced to Chishiya as you sighed with a shrug, he had attempted to part ways only for Hiroko to glare, “You too sour ass!” Chishiya’s gaze cut into Hiroko who didn’t budge in the slightest at him making you sigh as you rubbed your neck.
Truthfully, you couldn’t help but wonder if Chishiya actually made the effort in talking to anyone outside of you. And that could be argued that you generally initiated conversation. Had it not been for you, you doubt Hiroko would be able to stand Chishiya at all.
“What’s up?” You asked as you both stood in front of their chairs, Hiroko crossed her legs, a margarita in hand despite it being lunch time at best but hey, you couldn’t exactly blame her given the state of where you all lived.
Her expression crumpled a little as she looked between you and Nanami who was on the other side of the pool, “You two good? We ah...heard some yelling?” She raised a brow making you huff as you crossed your arms, looking away from them, “Okay…” Hiroko clacked her tongue, “Well we’re getting ready to go out to get some supplies, food stock is getting low in the back and we needed some help.”
Chishiya’s expression twisted just by a hair making Hiroko’s eyes sharpen on him as he looked away giving a very loud sigh as if inconvenience by this, “Is there an option to decline?”
“No.”
“We’d be happy to help.” You glanced at Chishiya briefly before given a smile to Hiroko and Ryu, “I’ve never done a supply run before so you’ll have to show me the ropes though.” Truth be told you kept yourself fairly busy. You often enjoyed exploring in your off time, and while sitting at the pool was nice, it got fairly boring by yourself day in and out.
So you went out to the parks you knew, you’d go to the ocean front when possible, you had even taken up the hobby of going on a jog each morning. Anything to remind you that you were alive. Contrary to how some perceived it, you felt almost numb in a way to your life being put on the line. To be put into extremely perilous situations, it had taken a toll on your mental health.
Even if you couldn’t recognize it at the moment, and so you had tried your best to pick up hobbies to keep you occupied and away from the addictive sensation of Games. So you often took walks now and explored around the city in your free time.
“It’s easy!” Hiroko stood up as she smiled brightly at your enthusiasm compared to the sour grey cloud that crossed his arms while rolling his eyes, “We have a masterlist written out of what we need to get, you’re free to pick up anything you’d like while we’re out!”
“Anything…?” You tilted your head before a smile tugged on your lips, “Alright! Lemme just go get something to change into on our way out!” Everyone thought you were either vain or insecure but truthfully, you just really hated the swimwear rule.
The moment you stepped off beach property was the moment you were wearing sweatpants and something comfortable. After you had gotten changed the four of you set off as you looked down the long list, mainly canned goods were needed, some dry goods as well and…”Are these farm locations?”
“Mhm, we can get a lot of fresh produce from there! It took awhile of searching but it’s a pretty good spot! We’ll get that on our way back though!” Ryu answered chipperly as he leaned back in his seat up front looking the exact opposite Chishiya who was slouched in his seat looking bored.
You actually quite enjoyed the ride, they used the CD player in the car to play music and briefly, you were taken back to a time in life when things weren’t so intense. It’s hard to believe you ever had a problem in your old life before you came to the Borderlands, everything in comparison now seems so...Childish, in a way, your problems weren’t as bad as you ever thought.
After helping gather canned goods and whatever snacks were on the list you had made your way through the store, stray shopping carts were abandoned and remnants of life still remained, not a lot, but just enough for it to feel eery, it really did make you wonder what happened to everyone.
“There’s a cart right there, you’re gonna break the ones you already have if you keep that up.” You snapped your head to glare at Chishiya as you fumbled with the canvases you were holding, “You know that used to be someone's cart right!” You rolled your eyes as you set them down in the empty cart that had been rolled towards the notebook section.
“And now it’s yours. You’re so emotional.” He sighed in exasperation, his eyes sharply looking down at all the paint material before he snorted as if amused by something making your brows furrow in suspicion.
“I’m not! It’s just having human decency, you know people used to live in this place before whatever happened,” You crossed your arms, tutting as you kneeled down, grabbing a jar of paint in each color, “Although I won’t lie, the cost of living has effectively gone down since then.”
You briefly looked at the expensive price tag that was placed under the paints before placing them into the cart carefully as you twisted back around, rolling the cart towards the brushes.
“Just at the cost of living now,” Chishiya puffed as he crossed his arms, “Shouldn’t you be buying psychology books or something more useful?” His gaze narrowed as you looked over your shoulder at him, now annoyed at his presence that was endlessly judging your every move.
“Shouldn’t you be helping Hiroko find the chip aisle?” Chishiya’s gaze turned cold making you snort, a smile of amusement dancing on your lips as you plucked the first brush from it’s container, “Okay...I guess not. You two really don’t like each other huh.”
“She’s an idiot that thinks she’s smarter than she is,” Chishiya replied, that loose cold tone of his as always making you roll your eyes, “I’d rather be here then in her insufferable presence.” a bit harsh but this was Chishiya, he often rolled between seemingly innocent and scheming to downright cold hearted at times.
“I’m flattered that you’re so interested in my hobbies then!” You replied with a fake peppiness as you swirled around to face him, dumping a pile of brushes into the cart, “Also, just because I’m a psych major doesn’t mean my whole life revolves around it. It’s like saying just because your a med student all you know is how to OD someone and that’s all you do.”
Chishiya clacked his tongue as he raised his brows while shrugging making your expression crumple as you huffed, crossing your arms, “Have you killed someone before coming here? Seriously? I would NOT want you to be my doctor.”
This made somewhat of an amused smirk quirk on his lips as he looked down at you, “I haven’t, but I supposed if it made you feel better I can say I have.” You rapidly blinked, staring at him as if he was insane, “How is that supposed to make me feel better? That just makes me even more uneasy, you could be lying through your teeth and I’d never be able to tell.”
You flailed your arms as you rolled the cart out of the aisle, Chishiya following behind making no effort to show he was in a hurry as he snorted, “For a psychology major I guess I just thought you’d be better at reading people. Guess you’re dumber than you look huh.”
“Do you have some kind of god complex with being smart?” You turned to face him as your expression contorted, “Because yes! I fully admit I’m an idiot, that's not an insult to me. My power is not in my brain but my heart, unfortunately.” You pointed at your heart before wincing a little, truthfully it wasn’t always what it was cracked up to be, “You know what- What’s with that anyways?” You furrowed your brows as you leaned your arms against the handle of the cart, “You really value intellect that much?”
You had noticed that pattern in Chishiya’s speech, an insult he regularly used was among demeaning to someone's intelligence, but not in the childish way it was often used, he meant it literally. As if nothing could be more embarrassing to someone then being dumb, to which you didn’t understand or hold any value too. He was proof that intelligent people were not always the most kind hearted.
Chishiya stared at you for a long minute, his expression unchanging as you shrugged pushing the cart as you peered down the next aisle, “I view life as a game I intend to win,” He relented making you pause as you looked back at him, your head titled, his smile looked viscous as he spoke, “And anyone who doesn’t have any wit to play is destined to lose. And I will win, because nobody is smart enough to beat me.”
You puffed a breath as you raised your brows with a breathy chuckle, “You sound like you need a good group therapy session, is all I hear when you speak. But hey, I guess you’re doing great now considering our lives are being turned into literal games now. I guess every mentality pays off in it’s own way.”
You picked up the pack of prism colored pencils from the end cap as you flipped them to look at the back of the package, “And all I hear is a defeatist mentality from you.” You peered up at Chishiya with an amused expression at his words as you shook your head, all he did was talk but never made any point, was he trying to figure you out in the elusive way possible?
“I’m not a defeatist, I’m just not as ruthless as you, in the way I view life that is. Why? Are you curious about my take on the world?” You teased a little, knowing this would immediately disengage him and just as you thought you watched him puff a breath, his arms crossing and his gaze becoming narrow.
“Why would I have any interest in someone who openly admits to being an idiot?” Chishiya replied, that irritated cat-like expression on his face and that annoying sing-song tone of his, you sighed, rolling your eyes, having learned to not take his cold words so seriously anymore, “If anything, the more you speak, the more confirmation I have that you’re right, you’re a total moron that has no clue what she’s ever talking about.”
Your face scrunched a little as you placed the pack of pencils in the cart before turning to face him, “Then why are you still talking to me?” You asked, raising your hands a little, and when he didn’t reply you smiled, “I mean really, if I’m so obnoxiously stupid, to the point of even admitting it, Wouldn’t it make sense that you’d just ignore me?”
Chishiya sighed as he glanced up at the ceiling, “Because you’re the most tolerable out of everyone here. But even you just open your mouth and shit flies out, I thought maybe with you being in an intellectual major you’d be more prophetic than you are?”
He stopped in a look of mild confusion at why you were giggling so much at his words, you had to cover your mouth as you raised your brows in delight, “Awwh! I didn’t realize you thought of me like that! I would’ve tried harder to psychoanalyze you more if that was the case!”
You laughed as you pushed your hair back leaning against the cart as you shook your head in amusement, “No but seriously, I think you’re getting psychology and philosophy mixed up here. I still only have one functioning braincell, sorry to disappoint.” Your nose scrunched as you smiled before pushing the cart into the next aisle.
“To answer your original question, since wifi isn’t a thing and the internet virtually doesn’t exist anymore I’m trying to find new hobbies to keep me out of games from boredom.” Admittedly, it wasn’t that, you’d say you were addicted to the feeling of putting your life on the line. You hadn’t been in the Borderlands that long.
But something about the adrenaline and the peril need to solve something, it kept your mind active and buzzing for a good few days, even after clearing a game. You already had over two weeks on your visa so there wasn’t really a need to go out and do something as reckless as playing a game.
Truthfully, you were very grateful you had run into Hiroko and Ryu in your first game, and admittedly also Chishiya who had found the Beach in the matter of hours after being told. Because of them, you weren’t nearly as fearful as you could have been, even now.
Being with your friends who were more experienced, it gave you confidence that you’d all solve everything and things would turn out okay. And maybe to some degree that mentality was dangerous.
More than anything, you knew you needed to become desensitized to the games and the cruel reality of the Borderlands if you wanted to last long. That was the real reason you had been pushing yourself to clear games every few nights. You weren’t addicted to the sensation, you just needed to push yourself into an indifferent state of mind.
It wasn’t healthy, you above anyone else knew that, but you knew it was necessary for your mind to adapt to survive.
“What about you med boy? Don’t you have any hobbies outside of fucking with people and making kids cry?” Your lips curled into a smile as you looked over your shoulder, watching Chishiya clack his tongue, rolling his eyes as you snorted.
“What makes you think I talk to children?” You raised your hands in surrender, “Fair enough,” You glanced at him, the silence loud for just a brief moment before you tried to fight the smile on your face as you pressed your tongue into your cheek as he continued, “I’m like anyone else, I can go for a good game of mahjong, chess and on occasion I enjoy building an taser gun-”
You paused as you whirled around, “A what gun?” Your brows crinkled together in confusion at how his sentence jumped from zero to one hundred as quick as it did.
Chishiya made a noise that sounded something between a scoff and snort at your contorted expression, his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the shelf, “I was in robotics as a kid and straight A’s in science and chemistry. I build things.”
“Like...weapons?” You rubbed your head as you frowned, looking away from him as you let out a somewhat wry laugh, “Jeez, so you’re basically saying you’ve always been this intense even before the Borderlands huh.” You puffed a breath as you puckered your lips, suddenly a childish smile on your face, “Wait! So in theory…! Could you...build like a- a slingshot?”
“What are you a child?”
“Well...what about...a bing-bag gun?”
“Already did that in grade school.”
“Stun gun?”
“Vague description but yes I’ve built things similar in function.”
Your lips twisted into a pout as you let your chin rest on the handlebar of the cart, “...Flamethrower?”
Chishiya’s eyes squinted a little as you smiled in victory before he sighed, “No but that’s theoretically the easiest to build.” You crossed your arms, he was just giving excuses now!
“How? How could a flame thrower be easy to build!?” You threw up your arms now annoyed at his confidence.
“Ah, any flammable spray can and lighter, next question?” He quirked a brow, now looking semi amused at your expression as you huffed, now out of ideas, to be fair, just how many weapons could be built from scratch anyways? Impressive sure, but before the Borderlands, just how useful was it anyways? Let alone legal?
“Okay well I’m out of things to ask,” You clacked your tongue, looking away from him briefly before smiling, “Oh…! It’s probably a bad idea but we should go find a spray can, then, I’ve never tried that before!”
What’s the worst that could happen anyways?

“You...burned the store down…?” Akari rubbed her head in disbelief as you pouted, Hiroko having thoroughly chewed your ass out on how irresponsible you were as you sat in the pool chair, your hands on your face and your cheeks puffed.
“How was I supposed to know the flames traveled up to seven feet! It’s Chishiya’s fault, he should’ve at least given me a fair warning!” You threw up your hands as you accused the unbothered blonde.
“I tried, didn’t I?” Chishiya laid out in his chair next to you, a pair of black aviators covering his eyes and this had to be the first time you had seen him without his jacket on, his hair shockingly tied up into a bun and away from his face aside the two strands hanging down as always.
“But like always you wouldn’t shut up and stop to listen. So I thought experience would be the best teacher,” Chishiya shrugged casually, a smug expression on his face as he spoke, “Fortunately for me that’s the last time Hiroko ever asks us to go out with them again. It's a win-win if you look at it like that.”
You whined as you bounced in your seat, leaning back as you sighed, “Hiroko was so pissed off she said she didn’t wanna see me the rest of the day. She really could be a mom.”
“Awh’ does that mean you ain’t coming tonight for the game?” Akari flicked her hat up a little as she raised a brow making you slump with a sigh, you were sure you could go, Hiroko wouldn’t actually stick to her word but...You admittedly felt kinda bad, you just wanted to kill a little time while Ryu and Hiroko finished up.
“I’ll probably sit tonight out, it’s not like I need to clear a game anyways, my visa has nearly two weeks on it and I don’t wanna do a game by myself.” You crossed your arms with a sulk, you didn’t feel confident enough in yourself to attempt a game without anybody else, and if you died nobody would ever know.
Akari whistled as she pressed the beer bottle to her lips, “That sucks,” She took a long chug as your nose wrinkled a little, “But hey! Maybe you could talk to Nanami, she’s been pretty sour the whole morning. I tried talkin’ to her earlier but she was pretty snippy.”
You curved a brow in curiosity, sure Nanami had been mad at you but Akari? They were probably closer friends then you and Akari were any day of the week, “Why?” You rubbed your head, maybe she was just in a mood altogether today.
Akari’s face twisted as she snorted, “Because of you.”
Your head collapsed against the chair as you inhaled sharply, “If she’s still mad about this morning then I’m gonna need a drink before I even try to talk to her. Do you know what’s going on with her? Because I’m extremely lost as to what her problem is.”
Akari placed a hand on her hip as she sighed in exasperation, “I dunno’ other than maybe that group of friends she’s with. They’re all pretty bad apples in my humble opinion, ever since she started hanging out with them she's been pretty moody.”
You placed a hand on your forehead as you sighed, “Right, of course, it’s always the friends,” You collapsed back into your chair as you stretched out, “Listen, don’t get me wrong,” you placed a hand in front of you to block out the sun as you looked up at Akari, “I love Nanami, and I want to work things out with her. I do, but right now?”
You clacked your tongue in semi disappointment, “Me trying to talk to her is only going to make her push me away even more and make even dumber choices. If she needs to go through this, then she’s gonna have to go through it. I’ll be here for her regardless.”
You had known your sister long enough to know that anytime she acted like this, you trying to talk to her would only push her further away and that’s not what you wanted to do. The only difference was you had never seen her go so...extreme before…
And the last thing you wanted was for Nanami to go off the deep end because of you and possibly...you shuddered at the idea, the possibilities were endless here in the Borderlands where there were no laws for people to abide by.
Akari sighed as she took her hat off, fanning it over her face as she rubbed her head, “Hey, it’s not my place to tell ya what to do with your sister, all I’m saying is it may be beneficial to at least try.” She shrugged as she walked away making you groan.
You could try again but you had a feeling it wouldn’t get you anywhere with her. It felt odd to think about, because one part of you felt like you had nothing but time now except for the constant loom of imminent death. You wouldn’t deny the fear that constantly set inside you at the idea of Nanami going into a game and never coming back.
But what could you really do? Outside irritate her and push her to continue doing harmful things? You supposed, in some ways, you were a hypocrite, you were putting your life on the line for nothing other than out of wanting to break the cycle, to remember truly what it means to live, without it even being necessary. You wouldn’t blame her for being angry at you for that.
“Hmm, I didn’t realize you actually let people dictate what you do in your free time, you’re a pretty big push over.” You slowly twisted in your seat to glare at Chishiya’s lounged out figure looking like a cat in the sun as he spoke in a sing-song tone.
“...Do you ever shut up?”
“Not particularly.”
You clacked your tongue, huffing as you collapsed back in your chair, “Well what? You wanna do a game together? I just…” You held up your hands, looking at them as you scrunched your nose, “Feel like if I went with you, there’s a good chance you’d probably use me as bait or something and I’d end up getting killed.”
“Wasn’t that your goal this morning?” Chishiya lifted his aviators as he turned to look at you from his laid out position, you squinted a little, crossing your arms once more as you leaned back in your seat.
“Well- yeah…” You fumbled before squinting even harder at Chishiya’s expression, “But now that you said it like that I have to not die out of pure spite, you didn’t answer my question by the way. I doubt you wanted to do a game with Hiroko anyways.” You rolled your eyes, still not understanding why Chishiya had such a distaste for her.
Sure she was a little accusative and Hiroko obviously didn’t trust him, but could Chishiya, genuinely say that wasn’t for good reason? You had figured out that this man, if anything, was self aware of how he came across from an outside perspective. That was the part that baffled you, how could he blame someone for distrusting him?
Even you distrusted Chishiya to a certain extent, and you had no problems letting him casually know such as now. Truly, you couldn’t rule out the possible idea of being used as bait in a game by him and not even realizing it.
Honestly, given the environment you lived in, you could at least appreciate that he kept you on your toes. And you supposed that was the difference between you and Hiroko, she wanted to trust all of her friends. You weren’t so caught up in that.
Because really, even in the outside world, before the Borderlands, friends could hardly be trusted fully. And those he believed in such, were always disappointed, friends lied, gossiped, went behind your back, slept with previous boyfriends. You hardly trusted anyone fully, in that sense, it wasn’t hard for you to just let go of some of Chishiya’s less then morally good behavior
Chishiya only waved a hand, “If you think we’ll find someone more interesting than your dry friends.”
“My dry friends,” You raised a brow as you twisted to look at his unbothered figure, “Act like you’re unassociated all you want but that doesn’t make you not part of the group. You are so weird. Anyways yeah sure, they just got word today that a new venue opened up at the bridge, we could go there.”
“You’re still a pushover.”
“What the fuck.” You replied deadpan as you stared him down, watching in annoyance at his sunglasses being put back on as he leaned back in his chair but the unmistakable cheshire smirk on his face as you rolled your eyes, “You're just asking to be torn apart.”
“So then why don’t you do it?” Chishiya challenged you casually, evening daring to lift his drink as he took a long sip before speaking up once more, “All you do is threaten people. How am I supposed to take you serious when you never follow through?”
“Last time I did it I made a man commit suicide.” You replied dryly, something in your tone lingering as you glanced out over the pool where everyone just pretended like they didn’t see people slaughtered night after night.
Escapism, was a very raw and primal way of coping with a shitty reality, you understood the concept well enough before the Borderlands, but ever since coming here, it became more and more apparent to you just how common it really was. What were you supposed to do with blood staining your hands.
Red caught your attention briefly as your eyes flickered to your hands that were clean as always. Staring down at them in wonder you couldn’t help but think, that some parts of you would never be the same after this. No amount of therapy or inner healing would bring you back to a time in your life where you hadn’t witnessed the atrocities you had.
Some parts of you, were amazing at blocking out the Borderlands, taking the days you were alive for granted until the moment your heart was pounding and scared for your life, it was an addictive type of feeling in the most terrifying way.
“It was hardly suicide,” Chishiya snorted, not at all perturbed like you were, you looked at him, staring into his figure that drew his attention as he raised a brow, looking unbothered, “You don’t feel the same? All human life is parasitic and is temporary, he would’ve died here anyways, it’s like you said, it doesn’t take much to break the weak link.”
You smacked your lips together as you sighed, some parts of you not surprised at how much of a nihilist Chishiya was, “It doesn’t matter whether his life was baseless and humans are parasitic,” You looked away from him again as you muttered, “It doesn’t change the fact I was the one who manipulated someone into killing themselves.”
Staring down at your hands they trembled only if you looked close enough, briefly you could remember a broken bottle in your hands, sticky wet substance covering them and- “Doesn’t change the fact he would’ve died. It was us or him.” Chishiya shrugged, that snarky yet innocent look on his face as he spoke, “Maybe it’s you who needs therapy.”
“Probably.” Your eyes traced down your fingers before sighing, running a hand through your hair, “If you’re gonna be a nihilist then I’ll see myself to the bar.” Chishiya waved a hand unbothered as you got up from your seat.
If you ever escaped the Borderlands you were absolutely going to be the one at the sitting end of a therapy office instead of the listening side.
----
“You’re a horrible driver.” Your nose was scrunched and you had a death grip on the side of the door of the car, you’d think for someone who was so analytical they’d be more careful. Chishiya? No, he was aggressive with sharp turns and fast pace making you hold on for dear life.
“I never got a license.” Chishiya replied in a sing song tune that you were beginning to find extremely annoying, that stupid smirk on his face as you opened the door the car, stepping out as you grabbed your neck.
“You know,” You turned to face him now standing just before the bridge, “If I’m gonna die here-” Chishiya sighed exasperated as you held up a hand, “What is your fascination with wanting to die?-” “No listen- I’m not saying I will but if,” You stressed the word, “If I die here, I really don’t want it to be from your shitty subpar driving skills.”
Chishiya snorted, rolling his eyes as you both stepped past the platform to which you had been informed awhile ago that there really was no turning back from games, you had...subconsciously assumed that, never having even thought it would be possible to go back from a game, but it was just another stressful reality you’d have to navigate.
You notice three other people who stood around all looking unsure of each other and you both included. You weren’t sure what type of game would be held on the bridge, there were plenty of cars still and you couldn’t help but wonder.
“What if there’s only one survivor to this game? Is that a thing?” You leaned a little towards Chishiya who had stuffed his hands into his pocket, his eyes flickering to you as he raised a brow.
“Does your brain only function on one memory at a time?” Your expression twisted somewhat indignant making an amused half smile curl on Chishiya’s face causing your childish anger to further as you crossed your arms, “Yes they exist, and for that matter I’ll just let you die since you’re so determined to let it happen prematurely-” “It will with the way you drive.” “Stop being so dramatic.”
You puffed a breath as you shifted your weight, “No seriously, what if only one persons survives?” You asked, you hadn’t really thought about it truthfully, you had done games where it was possible but you supposed you had just been lucky, most games if not close to all, many could survive. Was that something you should be worried about. Chishiya only shrugged, not having an answer as you hummed.
It was only six o’clock and the sun was beginning to set, was anyone else going to, “Oh jeez, this doesn’t look promising.” You turned to where someone stood having just arrived. Oh...oh wow, this woman was tall and attractive. It looked like a cigarette was hanging from her lips and she sported nothing but jeans and a bikini top.
Your gaze flickered ahead where you frowned, “I really hate games with props.” You muttered, looking at the anklets that could be doubled as probation bands, seriously? Attaching it to your ankle you inspected that metal loop that dangled from the back, “Do you think they’ll blow our legs off if we move too fast?”
“Doubt it,” The woman spoke up cut in between you both as she grabbed on, inspecting it as she scoffed, “Especially given what we’re doin’. Looks like we’re gonna get real cozy now.”
You looked at the laptop that sat out as you tilted your head.
Game:
Difficulty: 5♠
“The game you will be participating in is, Seek and Destroy”
“That sounds...not fun.” Your nose wrinkled, it was a clubs game, meaning at least you could all work as a team to finish the objection, but...Seek and destroy? You briefly glanced at Chishiya but he remained expressionless, his full undivided attention on the screen.
“In this game there are cars sectioned across the bridge and within five cars, bombs have been planted. One bomb will be activated at a time, you will have five minutes to find it and disarm it. Should you be in the vicinity of the car bomb by the time it goes off you have two choices, Game Over or Test Life.” Your brows furrowed as you listened carefully, “Cables are attached to the bridge, should you be near one you may attach your anklet to it and choose to jump off the bridge to safety.”
“There are five car bombs all total, once the first bomb had been deactivated, the next will start. If you disarm all five, it’s a Game Clear, if you fail to disarm all five, it’s a Game Over.”
Rules
All players must remain on the bridge unless they choose to Test Life
You will have five minutes to plan your course of action, after the siren, the first bomb will be set
If all five bombs aren’t disarmed it’s a Game Over, the only exemption from this rule is if a Life Test is passed in trade.
If someone Tests Life and succeeds, they will make their way back to the bridge and return here as proof of success or it’s an automatic Game Over for them.
“Ha...ha! This should be easy!” A woman spoke up as she grabbed her head, “Guys! If we just chose to test life, we can all escape down, not break any rules and clear the game!” You heard a few others excitedly agree with her but you felt...unsure…
You glanced at Chishiya who remained stoic, the only other person who seemed to also not be sold was the woman next to you, who practically towered over you and looking up you only just realized her cigarette was fake, “You into women or something?” She winked causing you fumble a little as you stepped away, “I don’t judge.”
“I’m into not dying,” You replied as you looked at the laptop, the countdown having already started, Chishiya only shrugged as he spoke up, “Could’ve fooled me.” You rolled your eyes at him, he seemed curious as he followed the other three.
“It’s simple, I’ll just attach this and! Just look for some others!” She excitedly clipped the bungee cord to the metal hoop before she stood up on the ledge, lifting her arms as she breathed in a deep breath, “I’ll see you guys on the way down!”
Your eyes were wide at her blind faith as she fell down, Chishiya peered down as everyone watched in baited breath, “It’s dumb to assume things would be that easy on a Spades game which is based around physical exertion, true bungee jumping matches the energy, but that would be too easy.” Chishiya spoke, shrugging as you glanced at him briefly before back at the woman who had finally hit the bottom of her cord, you had expected her to bounce but you gasped a little as she jerked before you could only assume her anklet broke and she smashed straight into the water.
She...she had to die from the impact with nothing to break the fall from here to there, “Just as I expected,” He sighed in exasperation, everyone turned to Chishiya who appeared only semi annoyed, “Anyone who believed a game value of five would be that easy is truly an idiot,” He offered a snide smile, “Just as I thought, Test Life is meant literally and meant to be a last resort, either you die by a car bomb or you take a chance with a possible faulty cord or band. The only way we clear a game without disarming all five bombs is if one goes off and someone chooses to test life and doesn’t die, it’s not only risky but stupid to rely on.”
“Talk about cold,” The woman beside you spoke up, making Chishiya shrug loosely, “You couldn’t have said that five seconds sooner and we’d have a sixth player?” Her lip lifted a little in annoyance at Chishiya’s callous nature.
Chishiya offered a cold smile, “A hypothesis without any evidence is just an assumption.”
The woman had no words, probably taken aback at just how cold Chishiya was, you leaned in a little as you whispered, “You get used to it. Y/n,” You introduced yourself briefly with a weak smile, admittedly you had just accepted and gotten used to Chishiya’s nihilistic views.
“Harsh,” She snorted, “Kuina. You two seem acquainted.”
Your lips fell back into a grimace as you briefly looked at Chishiya who raised a brow at you, “Somehow...” You shook your head, truthfully, no matter how hard you tried to get away from this man, you always seemed to end up talking to him, or in situations like this with him, “So what’s the plan Spock?” You shrugged as you looked at Chishiya, half your time of planning already over.
Chishiya didn’t reply at first and admittedly you wouldn’t consider him the embodiment of a leader, but you did think if anyone had a good calculation and strategy to go through this without messing up, it was him, “The rules stated nothing about having to disarm them in sequence, only that after the first was disarmed, a second would start and so forth.”
You frowned at his words making him sigh in exasperation as he looked away from you, “Which means if we broke into pairs we can just search all the cars and disarm them all within a reasonable amount of time and least amount of panic. You know,” Chishiya sneered, “They’re being quite charitable for a 5.”
“Okay great,” You sneered back in unappreciation giving back the same energy you were annoyed at being given at the moment, sure, you were dumb, you could admit it, and you had a feeling it really grated on Chishiya’s nerves that you in fact, did not consider it an insult in the least. You worked in the realms of irrationality of human nature, not the laws of logic like him.
In some ways, you considered yourself a polar opposite of him sometimes, “I’m glad this is easy for you. Just tell us what we need to do, jerk.”
Chishiya rolled his eyes at your expression, not surprised in the least at your attitude which he, just as always, ignored it, “There’s six of us- or was…” His lips curled into a menacing smirk, “There’ll be two pairs and one single person, one pair will go towards the back of the bridge and search the cars back to front, a bomb will most likely be placed in the hood of the car if the engines have been taken out or in the trunk. Another pair will search the beginning of the bridge starting from here and work their way towards the middle. Lastly the person by themselves will search the middle which won’t be as hard to go through alone.”
“Alright, then I’ll pair up with the blonde twink, I have a few words to talk to him about.” Kuina shrugged, making Chishiya’s gaze snap over, his expression briefly looking confused for a second at her wording as she offered a sharp smile, “What? Are you intimidated?”
Chishiya’s expression melted back into a cool tone, his gaze briefly looking over to you which you only observed the two, already getting the feeling you and Kuina were going to get along and hey, if you all survived this, you’d totally tell her about the Beach, “Hardly,” Chishiya snorted, “But in case you couldn’t tell I already have a partner.” You raised your brows looking around, wow, he was fast at deciding who would help him the most, “It’s you idiot.”
“Oh,” Your lips parted a little, admittedly feeling a little dumb forgetting, but honestly, who could blame you? You just assumed Chishiya would pair with the person most beneficial to him, after a second your lips curled into a smile as you shrugged, “Oh?” You raised your brows a little making Chishiya’s expression go a little exasperated as your smile turned into a grin, “Oh I don’t mind!” You spoke, smiling at Kuina as you waved her over to him, “Have fun with him, he’s a real blast! I can partner with one of you if you’d like, I’m a go with the flow kinda person.”
“I was a cross country runner! I can go by myself.” A girl, who looked like she was fresh out of highschool spoke as she volunteered herself, leaving you with only one partner, the male who...definitely looked like he could use a shower. He gave you a grimy smile which you weakly returned, “This just leaves us. I’m Daichi, and you m’lady?”
You could hear a strained laughter from two people as you looked over your shoulder, harshly glaring laser beams out of your eyes at Chishiya who had pulled his hood up to try and pretend like he totally wasn’t smiling while stifling his laughter while Kuina was more then openly laughing at your obvious short straw hand here, but hey...You did forfeit your partnership with Chishiya out of spite, this was in some way...deserved.
“Y/n. if everyone is sorted out, let’s take the far end of the bridge, it’s least likely they’d start the first bomb there right?” You looked towards Chishiya who shrugged, “What do we do about the bombs? I don’t exactly have any experience in the reams of demolition work.”
“It’s possible, as for the bombs I doubt they have anything complex. It’s probably made of some akin to a battery pack. Just rip the wiring from the pack and not the bomb.” He replied making you cross your arms, an amused expression on his face as he answered.
“...And if it’s not that simple...?”
“I guess we’ll find out.” He used that sing song tone you groaned at, unhelpful as always as you groaned, “Cheer up Y/n, it keeps things interesting.” What was his deal with things needing to be interesting...
“Well, let’s get going while we still have time,” You nodded to Daichi who nodded eagerly as you both began walking out onto the bridge, cars were scattered all across the bridge and this was admittedly going to take a lot of stamina to do, it was a Spades game, it was expected, but still.
You briefly felt uncomfortable, you could feel Daichi’s stares and he seemed like an okay guy but...Sometimes, more days than you wished, you could just feel a person’s energy and their intentions, Daichi was a perfect example of this. He was easy to read, from the way his eyes kept coping a feel at your body which wasn’t even in anything revealing besides the plain t-shirt you wore and sweatpants as per usual, “So Y/n, what were you before all of this.”
Your eyes briefly glanced at Daichi before ahead again, “I worked as a barista at a coffee shop,” You answered with a neutral expression, not wanting to come across bitchy or too nice.
Men in society, are told from a young age that so long as you’re nice, a good guy, doing the right thing, you’ll always get the girl. It twists the perception of reality for them, suddenly a women being nice is considered flirtation, a date to get to know one another will be rewarded with sex, there’s almost always a goal in mind when it comes to a Nice Guy.
You don’t think Daichi is one of these men, you could tell by the way he fidgeted and he seemed to hesitate and drag his words out a little, he was too insecure to truly feel that type of superiority. But he had that energy of a guy, who felt these things internally and therefore, if provoked, would probably end up saying the exact same things.
“Oh?” Daichi perked up a little, his smile was sincere if not a little awkward as his eyes lingered below your stomach, “Like at a maid cafe?”
“Like at a coffee shop,” You repeated yourself, not being too nice but not too mean, just neutral as you internally sighed, maybe you should’ve stayed partners with Chishiya, you knew he was an ass, but at least he didn’t act like this, or most men for that matter. You could at least appreciate his authenticity even if he was hardly honest, “Uh, let’s just focus on disarming these car bombs.”
You didn’t give Daichi a chance to reply as you heard the siren go off, breaking off into a sprint because you weren’t even halfway across the bridge yet. You needed to be to the end of the bridge within five minutes if the first bomb was there. Though the chances were low, they weren’t zero.
You weren’t someone considered extreme fit but you did walk a lot and it seemed you made a lot better head way then Daichi as he was out of breath and had his hands on his knees as you arrived at the end of the bridge, the first car bomb had to be disarmed by now and it had taken a good few minutes to even get here, “Okay, let’s separate and start looking at cards, hoods first then trunks.”
Daichi nodded, still out of breath as you started on the first car, popping the hood as you searched in before going to the trunk. Leaving it open so you wouldn’t confuse it later on as you had a lot of cars to go through. You hoped Chishiya and Kuina were at the very least, having better luck then you.
…
“So I’m guessing you two have probably fucked.” Kuina clacked her tongue as she watched you in the distant sprinting off, in her opinion probably running away from that creep, not that she could blame you, it did give her a good laugh.
Chishiya’s gaze remained neutral as he ignored Kuina’s comment. Tch, Chishiya made the exception of tolerating your idiocy purely because, to some degree, he’d admit, you were one of the few people he found interesting, he wasn’t sure he could do that for someone else who he wouldn’t consider as such, especially as self entitled as this woman, “I wouldn’t fuck someone like her. You aren’t good at reading people. Let's start searching and not waste time.”
Kuina raised her hands up, flicking the wooden cigarette in her mouth as she shrugged, “Alright but you can’t fool me with those eyes. It’s clear you two got some chemistry,” She snorted at his lack of reply, “Anyways, what’s your deal?” She asked, furrowing her brows as they both separated, searching through the hoods before popping the trunks, “Bit cold to just let someone die like that.” She called out.
“In case you’re inferior mind couldn’t tell,” Chishiya leaned against the back of the car as he smiled coldly, “We needed hard proof that Test Life was literal and not only this, but if this equipment is even stable. Which it isn’t, obviously.” Chishiya shrugged casually, “And we wouldn’t have known if someone dumb enough didn’t want to try,” He let out a sing song tone as he smiled in that false innocence of his, “I just consider it natural selection in the Borderlands.”
Kuina grimaced a little, talk about borderline inhumane, “Oh look what we have here,” Chishiya looked delighted at the sight of the first bomb, it’s quiet tick ever impending to it’s explosion, Kuina quickly came over as she scratched her head, “So we know we’re supposed to disarm them, but we were never told how...Is it really as simple as you said?” She rolled her eyes.
Chishiya snorted, “This is a basic homemade bomb, and surprise, surprise, it has a battery pack attached, it doesn’t take a genius to know to just pull the wiring and there won’t be any energy to dispense to the denotation.” And just like they, he yanked the wiring from the remote pack and the ticking stopped.
Kuina felt a breath of relief escape her, obviously not confident in his abilities and who could blame her? For as smart as Chishiya was, it was difficult to trust the man, nor would it be wise of anyone.
“Great, glad we got a bomb expert on our side,” Kuina sighed, pushing her hands into her pockets before yelling out, “We got one!” As loud as she could, it echoed off the bridge and she was sure at least the highschooler heard her, “Anyways that’s boring. So you consider it natural selection huh- harsh. What ‘bout her then? Seems like you only wanted to be with her.”
“What about her?” Chishiya, now annoyed, turned to Kuina, who was truthfully, only stirring the pot because she enjoyed getting under people’s skin, this blonde’s in particular, “We entered the game together? I guess?” He raised his brows, that dark, yet low innocent expression on his face as he spoke, “I’d assume it’s natural isn’t it? To stick to what one knows? But instead I’m stuck with you.”
Kuina only offered a menacing smile in return, “In full glory,” She gestured down to herself proudly, “Listen- I’m only stating what I see, that and this is pretty amusing to listen too. It’s not often I get put in a game that isn’t high intensity.” Admittedly, while Kuina would never openly admit to it, Chishiya being here had definitely calmed things down a little, had it not been for his pure cut logic, things would probably be more hectic.
“I got one!” Kuina looked up at the sound of the highschool girl screaming out, echoing distantly as Kuina curled her fists in victory, “Alright, just three to go, we’ll be done in no time.” Chishiya only looked over his shoulder, saying nothing as he continued searching through cars, “For someone so smart, you sure don’t look victorious.”
“It’s foolish to assume victory during a battle,” Chishiya spoke, “At least that’s something Sun Tzu would’ve said, we only have two done in a field of cars. They were forgiving with the obvious rules but not so much in the size of the game. It’ll be a tight fit trying to find the last one within five minutes.”
Kuina rubbed her head, that was true, she guessed, but she didn’t see it like that. The faster they looked and disabled these bombs, the quicker they could find others. It couldn’t be that difficult.
“But we don’t know where they’re placed, it could be to our advantage that most of them are clumped togeth- Oh…” Kuina paused at the sight of a ticking bomb just inches away from her, apprehension in her face as she stepped away, she could fight with her fists any day of the week but a bomb? No thanks, “Disarm this so I don’t kill us on accident.”
Chishiya looked smug as she rolled her eyes and with in moments he disarmed it as Kuina called out, the third one finished and only two left to go, if all went well just as planned, then they would have an easy night.
“Whatever the case is, as long as nobody screws up this will be easy,” Chishiya’s lips twitched into a smirk as he spoke, “They’re pretty stupid to label this a five when it’s really a three.” He supposed, at least this was another build up on his visa which was extending more and more by the day.
It wasn’t, that Chishiya was interested in death. No, it was quite the opposite, he was fascinated in why there was so much death, what was the reason? He hadn’t come up with a solid theory yet, but it was in the works. And furthermore, games and their mechanics were quite interesting, death being a punishment was only an added twist which was, admittedly beginning to get a little dull in his opinion.
After all it was difficult to threaten someone with death when they had no fascination in life whatsoever, “Well, just a little more to go and we’ll be finished.” Kuina yawned out, admittedly ready to eat a hot boil of ramen after this before crashing.
What neither of them expected was the loud booming echo of an explosion black smoke blooming the air both of them were taken a back as they ran to the side railing of the bridge attempting to look for where the explosion was, only to watch you being blasted off the railing straight off the bridge.
This was not going as planned.
...
Three Minutes Earlier…
Searching through the car trunk you rubbed your head, you had heard some shouting earlier indicating that the highschool student had already found a bomb and you had heard previous yelling as well, twice, once before the highschool student, another just a minute ago. This game was going fast. You sighed as you shoved your hands into your pocket, it would be bullshit if there wasn’t a single bomb at the back of the bridge.
You supposed it would very fortunate but, you ran all the way here, for nothing if there wasn’t.
Not to mention you and Daichi had gotten through quite a few cars in minimal time, he has just finished car and was making his way towards the edge of the bridge where on the last few cars of this little sliver were at, you admittedly, still had a long way too go.
You sighed walking over to a Mercedes which looked extremely expensive- maybe you could get someone from the Beach to fix it up…You groaned at the sound of heavy breathing, was Daichi trying to run again?
You peered over the hood of your car until to see him stiff as a board in front of a hood of a white Sudan.
Sometimes, you can just tell, when something is wrong. Nothing needs to be said, or heard. This was one of those moments where you felt a deep pit in your stomach. You made your way over in a hurry only to head an impending tick and Daichi’s hands were on the bomb making you almost immediately back away, “Uhh...okay cool you found it…” Daichi’s hands trembled and his breath was heavy as you watched a bead of sweat drip down his neck.
“Just uh...disarm it now.” You frowned a little, peering behind his shoulder to see the timer at was at a minute. Shit this must’ve been the next one activated, “Quickly.”
Daichi’s hands shook harder as he spoke hurriedly, “I...I don’t know how!” He freaked out sweat dripping off his chin as you backed away a little further, finding the edge of the bridge behind you and stepping on something.
“Just...do it like Chishiya said! Daichi we only have forty seconds!” You urged him, trying not to freak him out any further, “Ah here I’ll do it!”
“No!” Daichi screamed out, clutching it further as he spoke harshly, “If- if it’s moved it’ll explode!” He cried out, your heart rate was spiking and if he didn’t do anything you both were going to get killed, “Just rip off the wiring from the pack. Just like Chishiya said.” You shuffled a little, looking down only to see a cord piled up beneath your right foot.
Swallowing you carefully walked closer to him as you offered a weak smile, “Listen to me,” Daichi trembled and shook as his gaze flickered between the bomb and you, “Just…” twenty seconds left, “Take the wiring and pull it out.” You urged gently.
“How do we even know if we can trust that guy!?” Daichi cried out, “He- he just let a woman die just to see if he was right! We can’t trust him!” Daichi screamed out as you tried to calm your wild heart rate. He needed to calm down and at least try, a try was better than letting the timer go off.
“Chishiya is an expert with chemistry, science and medicine. If anyone knows how to disarm something I’d place my life on him.” That was a very bold claim you weren’t sure you’d actually put into practice but it was true.
Ten seconds.
You fumbled backwards as Daichi hyperventilated, “He practically killed someone! If I do something! It’ll be by my own choice!” He screamed out making you jump as you fumbled to lean down, grabbing the metal hook as you attached it to the cuff of your anklet, but it was too late. Daichi ripped the wiring not from the pack, but the bomb.
You don’t see it, you only see vivid hues of orange and red and blistering heat as the force of the explosion blew you right off the edge. The sky, truly was beautiful, even in your last moments.
-
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Game Of Hearts

| 5 |
↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.
↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader
↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller
Word Count: 9k
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Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together!
Note: guess who's back bitches??? it only took a year and season 2 coming out for me to come back but here I am with chapter 5! please leave some comments and tell me how yall feel about the chapter! Shits about to go down in chapter 6

……
You couldn’t quite remember everything that happened, one moment you were facing the sky’s bright hue and for a moment you wondered if your soul was ascending. What you noticed however was a lack thereof, when it came to ascension at least. Then you became aware that you very much were not going up, but falling down.
And falling and falling. The only thing you could think about however was Nanami, your dad, your mother....The empty bottle of pills, the write up of OD even though everyone knew it was suicide. Was this what everyone meant by life flashing before your eyes.
You couldn’t think as your stomach did waves as your body bounced harshly, your gaze now upside down and feeling admittedly nausea at the sight of the unruly ocean beneath you. Oh...oh god…you were alive. Your body hung as you heaving a breath, closing your eyes before they ripped open. Oh god the game! The game! They probably didn’t have much time. You frantically tried to pull yourself up, but again, you hadn’t exactly been fit.
Suddenly you heard the sound of metal clashing and you could hardly realize you were not falling once more until your body crashed into the water, salt burning your eyes and water entering your lungs as you fought to reach the surface for air, the water was fairly calm given but it was difficult to keep your head up as you pushed yourself to the ground at the front of the bridge. Your limbs ached and you could still feel the scorch of the flames licking at your skin as frustration filtered your body, why couldn’t you swim faster!?
Every muscle in your body ached and the adrenaline you felt had left you, leaving your body feeling heavier and heavier until you reached the prickly green grass that you on any other day would have complained about.
Laying against the ground you collapsed as you closed your eyes, god being alive sucked. But you weren’t going to die in this godforsaken place. Your fingers curled against the ground as you forced yourself to crawl up the hill, slowly pushing yourself to stand up, as you groaned, rubbing your hand against your head before fumbling a little with your footing. The hill was admittedly steep and your sneakers weren’ exactly built for walking.
After a certain amount of struggle you had made it to the top, your legs aching and trembling and your body felt sluggish. They better disarm that last car…You took a seat on top of the table that had the screen set put on, looking at the gate that had closed the bridge down.
You could only imagine the chaos of arguing between the other three right now as you dimly squeezed the water from your shirt, spitting out what saliva you had at the sharp taste of salt. Everything hurt and you really just wanted to lay down. You jumped at the sound of a sirening setting before you leaned back on the table enough to see the table once more.
Game Cleared
You didn’t have any doubts but still...it was good to know they didn’t lose their shit after hearing an explosion, you expected nothing less. The gates slowly slid back open and you could see two distinct figures.
“Well shit, she actually survived!” Kuina whistled out a snarky grin on her face as she jogged over to your battered figure, looking extremely tired and also in pain for that matter, “Damn, you look busted though.”
You looked between them both, Chishiya looked nonpulse but there was something about his demeanor, you weren’t sure what, and you weren’t sure if you’d go out of your way to say he looked relieved but...Maybe that was it?
“I’m staying with Chishiya next time.” You sighed and much to your distaste Chishiya had that snide, smug smile curl on is face as if he totally enjoyed watching you admit that, “Stop looking like that, it’s annoying.” Your lips were pouty and you glared down at him before you heard something pop.
Jumping a little your eyes flashed to the disc holder of the laptop which had popped open, scoffing you leaned down, grabbing the playing card. They had anticipated someone doing that drop, obviously, “Can we go? I think I have whiplash in my neck.” You whined as you rubbed the back of your neck which dully ached.
Chishiya rolled his eyes, “Then stop being useless and sitting around.” He swung the keys on his finger as he walked back to the car, Kuina’s gaze had flashed between you both, taken aback at the car being started as you offered a lucrative smile.
“You should really check out the Beach sometime. I think you’d be a really good fit. See you around Kuina.” You waved her off who probably had plenty of questions as you got into the car.
Collapsing as you closed your eyes, “I think…” You paused, making Chishiya look at you briefly, “I’m gonna relax on games. I don’t need to play anyways.” You had never not once in your life, thought bungee jumping, would in any way, shape or form, be cool. And honestly, you felt like every ounce of energy had been sucked out of your body.
“You’ll need too,” Chishiya snorted making you frown as you looked at him, his eyebrow lifting a little before he rolled his eyes, “You look like shit.”
“Thanks.” You laid back in your seat, closing your eyes. You were alive...somehow…

Staring in the mirror you winced, damn he wasn’t kidding, the whole side of your neck had been burned, it wasn’t too severe but it was going to be a pain in the ass to try and sleep against.
Your nose wrinkled as you winced once more, biting down on your lip harshly at the attempt to put the cool cloth against the burn, there was a few burns scattered across your body as well, one of your forearm from where you had presumably protected your face from the blast and one against your shin which was the most painful.
“They already have three other five of spades. Another card gone to waste.” You rolled your eyes at the sing-song tone of Chishiya who made no effort in announcing his entrance into the bathroom, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he leaned the wall.
“Yeah well, I’m not exactly surprised. It’s been crossed out on the wall since before we even got here.” You winced again, your nose crinkling a little at the initial pain that throbbed as you pressed the wet rag back against your neck, the heat temporarily being absorbed, “What are they even missing besides heart cards?”
Chishiya didn’t reply, making you turn to look at him, his eyes were narrowed on your neck- your hand to be precise as you frowned, “What…?” Feeling only a tad under the microscope by him as he still didn’t speak.
Finally he sighed as if he was both exasperated and annoyed, “You’re going to irritate the burn even more using cloth, once all the liquid is dried from the rag it’ll just stick to your skin,” He scoffed suddenly pulling the rag off your neck making you whine, the immediate burn returning as you let out a squeak in pain, “They’re only missing high value cards and a few offshoot of low cards.” Chishiya spoke as his eyes narrowed around the room, “Makes you wonder what they do with all the spare decks though hm?” Your eyes followed his figure, why was he letting his words linger like that...it made it sound like he was plotting something and the last thing you wanted was a bullet in your head for conspiracy, “Not really…?” You tilted your head a little, “I mean, Hiroko mentioned they’re collecting other decks for the next in line and so forth, so once Hatter goes everything just gets easier.”
“You actually believe that bullshit?” Chishiya scoffed, looking almost offended at you as you lifted your chin, a snarky smile on your face as you shook your head.
“Do I look like I believe it?” It was quiet as Chishiya snatched something off one of the shelves you hadn’t bothered to look in though it admittedly looked like it held a first aid of sorts, huffing you sighed looking back in the mirror as you tilted your head a little to look at the large burn, “I mean, what choice do we have Chi? Seriously, you know just as well as I do it’s all bullshit here just under the guise of hope to keep everyone going for Hatter’s gain. Anyone with a functioning brain knows that, we all know that.”
That was right, anyone who didn’t know that was either truly naive or simply chose to be ignorant, the only problem was any discussion of the truth would be labeled as conspiracy and possibly killed. Nobody wanted that in the end.
Your eyes lingered on the door that was closed, but well aware there wasn’t a lock, anyone could walk in at any time. But surely everyone thought the same as you, right? “But that’s how things work here, and I mean, it’s a trade off.”
Chishiya appeared in the mirror, his eyes lifeless as ever as he spoke, “...Don’t call me that again,” You snorted at the way his nose wrinkled, “And not necessarily.” His words made you twist around, looking up at him in confusion, what did he mean, not necessarily…? He puffed a breath, for a brief second almost looking amused at your bewilderment as he spoke, “Things are changing, we’re gaining a higher rank with each game,” He shrugged cryptically a certain smug look on his face, “I have plans to make use of this place.”
Your expression twisted a little warily as you turned back to face the mirror, “Well I’m sure you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be here and you wouldn’t have come with us if you didn’t see some sort of benefit.”
If you had learned anything about Chishiya in your time together, it would be that he didn’t put any effort into anything he thought wouldn’t be beneficial to him. You had never pointed this out to him mainly because you thought it was best he assumed you didn’t know this. Or maybe he did? There wasn't any reason to overthink things now, especially if Chishiya wasn’t your enemy.
You often found yourself walking a delicate line when it came to Chishiya, because he was very unsuspecting to many people, and in some ways, you assumed he did this on purpose, he was a master at disguising his intentions with people.
You didn’t want to be a piece just in the grand scheme of things...You looked in the mirror as you watched him carefully pour a gel onto a cotton round. Why…? Perhaps because, if this was a game, you were too prideful to be a loser.
And Chishiya using you would be a game over.
“If not for gain then everything else would be a waste of resources and energy.” Chishiya finally spoke, that look on his face which meant he was definitely planning something and you knew it would only be a matter of time before he set things into motion, whatever it was he had in mind.
You said no more, allowing him to carefully tend to the large burn on your neck as you thought about his words, it was true, not many people volunteered to do games nightly, or even weekly unless it was needed for them to keep staying in the Borderlands.
It was few and far in between such as yourself that did them as often you did, Chishiya carefully placed a gauze barrier on your neck as he tutted, “Now don’t go ripping this off otherwise it’ll tear at the layer of protection your skin will make to keep any bacteria out. Oh...by the way, Mira was asking for you.”
You blinked several times rapidly before twisting around at such a drastic change in topic, “...Mira…? Like Kano Mira? Number 9?” You tilted your head a little, you had seen all of the council members yes but you hadn’t met let alone talked to any of them.
Mira, was by rumor, a hearts player despite having little to no hearts still on the wall, a few had appeared here and there but a lot had yet to be gained, or those who went out and never came back, experienced games as such, but didn’t win.
Chishiya raised a brow but said nothing, as if in silent ask, just as clueless as you were, “She passed by in the hall and asked me to mention she wanted to see you.” You could tell he was waiting for an explanation you didn’t have.
“I’ve never even talked to her before.” You frowned a little as you shrugged, “If you’re looking for an answer, then I don’t know. Where would she be? Up in the meeting room or wherever the top ten go to brood?” You expression twisted as you quirked a brow.
Chishia hummed, “She said she’d be getting tea.” Why did this woman sound so weird? You couldn’t shake the vague feeling you had as you shrugged, your interest now piqued to see what one of the top ten wanted with you.
After Chishiya had tended to the rest of your burns he didn’t linger for long and you had settled to find Mira wherever she was at now curious as to why she wanted to speak to you. The top ten kept to themselves at the Beach or brooded together on occasion whenever something called for it. It was rare to see them actually mingling with the masses aside from Hatter who was almost always seen prowling around with women and Aguni who was always brooding with the militant sect.
Wandering through the halls your thoughts buzzed as you looked around, getting tea...the only place you could assume was the kitchen but you weren’t surprised that not only was she not there but you were kicked out due to a restock in alcohol and some assuming you were a user looking to get first dibs. Which you were not but understood well enough, not giving them any grief over finding Mira you left without a fight.
Walking through the dining room you paid no mind to the few people who were quietly eating, this was by far one of the calmest rooms in the Beach and that was during the day, during the night however nearly everything was used for a party room, “Y/n! I’m so happy you made it!” You jumped at the fairy-like voice that called out to you, whirling around you turned only to be met with the very woman you had been looking for.
Kano Mira.
You had seen her around few and far in between but she always seemed ethereal with layers of long black hair and delicate lace dresses, sometimes even carrying a parasol on warm days when she took strolls. Come to think of it, that was where you had seen her, you had been going on a run when you had seen her stray from the walking path to water what looked to be flowers. You had never talked to her before but you had made eye contact a few times, and maybe that was what had piqued her interest in the first place. Deciding to not jump to conclusions you offered a weak smile as you walked closer to the table she sat at, a teacup and saucer in hand, “I was told you were asking for me?”
Mira’s smile widened only a little as she softly waved a hand for you to sit across from her, a teacup placed on the opposite side of the table as if she had anticipated you finding her, taking a seat you shuffled a little feeling mildly uncomfortable being put under the gaze of her wide eyes.
You couldn’t read Mira, now this wasn’t a super power persay, but you breezed through life being able to read the majority of people, they’d never have to say a word but their thoughts easily came alive through the pitch of their voice, the short pause in a sentence or their posture stiffening. You could simply just tell how someone felt. There was always an exception to this, Chishiya was one of them, and it seemed Mira was as well.
She looked perfectly calm and the only thing you could see in her expression was pure curiosity. It sparkled across her eyes and she seemed so enamored with you despite having not said a word, as if you were a book and she’d love nothing more than to read you on a sunny warm afternoon.
It was in some ways warm and welcoming, and in others odd and alienating, “I’ve heard you’re relatively new to the Beach and yet you’re already playing many games?” She quirked an eyebrow before offering a soft laugh, “It’s fascinating to me! Especially hearing all this chatter about you possibly being a hearts player! Would you agree…? That you could be a hearts player?”
You looked away from the table briefly before offering a weak smile, deciding that while Mira had an odd energy, she was clearly harmless, “Well…” You sat for a moment gathering your thoughts at her loaded question before you carefully spoke, “I’d rather keep myself busy, then sit and waste away here. Even if it means possible death. I don’t have a specialty yet, so I don’t feel I’m qualified to really answer your question regarding that.”
Mira sipped on her tea, a thin smile tugging on her lips as she ever so slightly tilted her head in curiosity, blinking as she gracefully set her cup and saucer down, “Even if it meant possible death…?” She recited your words once more before asking, “That’s odd.” It was a simple statement that made you raise your brows a little at making her giggle, “It’s odd because most are quite terrified when they first come here. But you aren’t, in fact, I heard you haven't been scared not once since coming here. Even amongst the face of death. Most typically fear death, it’s thought because nobody knows what’s beyond the point of life, thus the irrational fear of the unknown.”
You were now mirroring her once expression of curiosity as she spoke delicately, “But recent studies show that the stimulation of adrenaline when put in life threatening situations can become addictive. For how can we truly appreciate life if we have never been put in a position where it could be taken from us? Do you agree with that sentiment Y/n? I think it’s quite poetic.” Staring down into the deep warm liquid in your teacup, it was lukewarm at best meaning Mira must have been here for a long while now, wordlessly you took a sip as your eyes stayed on the glass. Life threatening situations could become addictive huh…? You thought back to your feelings about the games, how for a brief period of time you didn’t have any thoughts or qualms with going night after night just...just because. Just for the thrill. Because why not? Perhaps her
words did ring some truth.
“I think...people don’t know what they’re capable of until they’re pushed beyond their limits. And when they find that part of themselves, they don’t want to let it go. They can’t,” You spoke thoughtfully, thinking back to a paper you had written in your freshman year of university about the theory of behavioral development, “Because if they only found it- via a life threatening situation, they don’t know how to gain that part of themselves back in a safe and controlled environment. So instead, they seek those uncontrollable situations again to regain that part of themselves.”
Mira’s smile slowly widened as if she was thoroughly fascinated and impressed by your words as she leaned in a little, picking up her teacup once more, a ruby red lip stain printed on the side of the cup as she spoke, “So you believe it’s a loss of identity, and a sense of need for it, that keep them going?”
“It’s not that simple,” You replied as you curved a brow, to say you knew what propelled people- even yourself into why the seek of games was addictive would be presumptuous, “Placing a wide variety of people, with various personalities, flaws, coping mechanisms, home lives, education into one singular lense, would be naive if not arrogant to assume that's what keeps them seeking a thrill. That may be one of many motives for someone to do it, but for some, it’s a sense of power and control, for some it’s the primitive nature of finding themselves, proving their worth, every motive and every person is different.”
Mira’s smile slowly turned into a lopsided smirk as she lowered her teacup down from one last sip as she let it sit clasped in her hands against her lap gently, “By this definition, then what are yours Y/n?”
You frowned a little before you looked down at the table, why did you...in some morbid way enjoy games? “I don’t know.” you softly admitted, your smile was weak as you looked up at Mira once more, “I do them, simply because I can, because it passes the time, because maybe, there’s a grand scheme in the making here, and participating in games leads me one step closer to what it is.”
“And what if there isn’t?” Mira asked, some could take it for a counter, a challenge, but not you, there was nothing but sincerity in Mira’s eyes, as if consciously fascinated in each of your answers, as if she memorized them word for word with each passing second, “What if these games are here simply because they can be? What then?”
You sat quietly for what seemed like a long time, and Mira was in no hurry for your answer, a patient smile on her lips as she returned her teacup to the table to pour in fresh hot water from the porcelain teapot she had set out on the table. You sat and thought about your life before these games, back to when you were a little girl and you sat on your mothers lap when she’d read you a story just at night fall.
Back when you found her body slumped in her bed and an empty bottle of pills on the ground next to her laid out hand that was above it. The cap was still on the sheets next to her pale face and no matter how many times you shook her, hugged her, begged for her to open her eyes, she never woke up. You could narrow it down a little past that event, not her death, but the funeral was when something ached inside you.
Why?
It wasn’t that you had wished for a different outcome at the tender age of five. You simply just wanted to know why? Why did she do it? What was her reason, what was the motive, what did she have to gain? And what did she have to lose? And could have been done to prevent it?
Why?
Why?
Why?
It seeped into every part of your life, why had your dad gone to shark loans? Why did he choose alcohol instead of a phone call to someone who could help? Why did it have to be you who he took his anger out on? Why did the teacher at your school who saw the bruises you tried to hide simply ignore it? Why did the manager at the only job that would accept a highschooler interview you just to see if you were willing to be filmed on a couch? Why did the people involved not help? Why…?
It’s all you ever wanted to know. Why...?
Your mind drifted to the games, why had the dealers chosen Chishiya, of all people to be your partner? Why did Ryu decide to mention the beach to you? You had so many questions, not to find the reason for the ultimate goal of the borderlands, but the complexities that ran them.
“If this is truly just a game,” You finally spoke, thinking back to earlier when you had been silently letting Chishiya, a man of absolutes who held no regret in anything he did, how your mind had thought in that moment, “With no other high reason to be here, other than to simply be a game. If there is no ‘why’ to that reason other than simply because, then I’d just enjoy myself and win.” You offered a resolved smile.
You hadn’t taken the time to unpack the large umbrella of possibilities as to why you all were in the Borderlands playing games of life or death and fearing for your lives day in and out. Purely because it already took a lot of energy to simply exist here, contemplation on the meaning of it all seemed draining, hence you hadn’t thought too hard about it.
Mira leaned back in her seat as she smiled brightly, the happiest you had seen her the whole conversation as she nodded her head in understanding, “Thank you for that! I think...I understand for now. I’m sure you have things you need to do, don’t let me keep you. Let's talk again though soon, yeah?”
“Of course...um…” You paused, setting down your teacup as Mira tilted her head, as if waiting for you to finish what you were getting ready to ask,”...May I ask what you did before all of this?”
Mira’s smile was bright and bubbly as she let out a little laugh, “Of course, I was a psychiatrist ♡ "

25th Day Sojourn
The past few weeks had remained relatively inactive and you had spent them strictly to your word in not participating in games and letting your burns heal. Which had come a very long way from where they had started- probably thanks to Chishiya who kept you on a very strict regime of maintenance care with them.
You were currently reading sitting on one of the high top tables that was set out on the pool patio, a multitude of people splashing around and Hiroko who was severely mad at Ryu for throwing her into the pool had just stalked up and sat beside you, arms crossed as she huffed, “You okay?” You offered a tiny smile at her disturbed expression as she let out a noise of complaint but said nothing, “...My visa expires in 2 days.” You hummed out, flipping the page of your book, resolving to set it face down on the glass table so you wouldn’t lose your spot.
“So you’re saying you wanna play a game tonight?” Hiroko quirked a brow at your words making you shrug with a lopsided smile, it wasn’t that you were bored but you would preferably like to get back into the groove of playing games again, not that your position on the board mattered but you did get knocked back several positions behind from where you last left off. That and you’d rather at least die in a game than death by laser from the sky.
“Why not? A little birdy told me you weren’t playing tonight though.” You lifted the solo cup up to your lips, the warm trill of tequila and mixer that no amount of ice could make cold. You weren’t really into day drinking but it was difficult to not be at the Beach where it felt like a summer vacation in hell constantly.
Hiroko wrinkled her nose as she shrugged, “I’ve been feeling kind of under the weather, we did get caught up in some cold rain a few days ago. Think it’s a cold. I have more than plenty of time on my visa so it’ll be fine to go a few days without. Why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”
You would’ve asked in more concern for her possibly being sick had she not added that last word making you sputter in confusion, “Boyfriend?”
“Why are you outside? You know that’s just gonna damage the burns even more. You truly are an idiot.” Your lips twisted in annoyance at the exasperated sigh of a new voice that entered the conversation, Chishiya standing before you both, black aviators on and his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket.
“I’m in the shade!” You complained waving your hand at the umbrella stand that had been opened in the middle of the table keeping you from the warm rays of light, most of your burns had healed but Chishiya had told you, in quotes ‘to stay out of the sun since you were probably too dumb to understand it would inflame your burns further’
“Just because there’s shade doesn’t mean ultraviolet rays don’t reach you.” Chishiya spoke in a sing-song tone, “But you don’t care right? Because you’re dumb? A dumbass that doesn’t understand basic meteorology?”
Hiroko stayed silent, in fact, her gaze was an act as if she had proved whatever point she made, sipping on her drink as your lips futilely opened and closed, unsure of how to even respond. Yes, this had been going on for the past few days now, where Chishiya would harshly reprimand you when you wouldn’t listen to him.
“I’m just having a drink, why are you attacking me?” You sounded like a puppy, lips quirking into a pitiful pout at his sharp tongued words, “And just because I call myself dumb doesn’t mean you can!” You hissed out directly afterwards, your eyes cutting into his but he only triumphantly smirked.
“That doesn’t change the truth though, does it?” He egged you on making you roll your eyes as you deflated into your chair, crossing your arms as you both silently stared at each other and with each passing second staring at that cocky expression on his face was becoming more annoying by the second.
“Anyways.” You coughed harshly, your nose wrinkling a little as you sent one last glare at Chishiya before turning back to Hiroko, “It’s fine, I understand, I’ll just find someone else to go with tonight.” Your eyes trailed back to the pool where Nanami was at, her back directly turned to you where she was crowded around her friends, all talking in what looked semi serious, or possibly just gossip.
You hadn’t talked to her...at all these days, she had become more distant from you and in some ways you felt incredibly helpless, as if your relationship with her was fading altogether and no matter what you did, leave her alone, attempt to talk, it only resulted in her anger sparking that much more. You couldn’t do anything right, or so it felt like.
“Well be careful while you’re out…” You were taken away by your thoughts at Hiroko’s careful words, Chishiya had leaned against your chair, observing the conversation though it felt like he was just here to strictly annoy you further now. Unless he wanted to discuss something that he couldn’t in the realms of Hiroko. Which you didn’t understand either as it wasn’t like she was into the front of what the beach stood for regardless, “You really think I’m that bad at games?” You remarked weakly, not used to her care in this way being shown. And it wasn’t that Hiroko didn’t care, she just knew the risks of games just as everyone else did. There was no need for sentimental care here.
“Of course not,” Hiroko rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms, giving you a reprimanding look that made you feel slightly dumb, “It’s just…” She rubbed her neck as she sighed, looking around somewhat apprehensive as she lowered her voice, “...We haven’t told any of the regulars here at the Beach but...there’s another group out playing games.”
Your brows furrowed before you looked to your side where Chishiya stood, one elbow leaned on the back of your chair, he exchanged looks with you but he remained neutral as you frowned, “Like...group as in, like the Beach?”
Hiroko slowly nodded, ‘Something like that, run more like the militant sect though from the sounds of it. They aren’t a big group but they’re pretty violent from what I heard. Hatter apparently had a run in with them during his last game. It sounds like they got word of our operation here and mean business.”
Hiroko was talking in a veiled tone that left you mildly confused but you could at least read between the lines, “Like...raid business…?” Your nose wrinkled further as she frowned with a nod, saying nothing else as she looked away briefly, concern filling her features as her eyes washed over the scene of everyone happily enjoying themselves.
“We already have to deal with the militant sect pushing boundaries constantly for more control of the Beach...the last thing we need is outsiders finding our home base and ruining everything. People are horrible.” She sighed wistfully as she rested her chin on her hand.
“Things are getting interesting,” Chishiya’s lips twisted into a smirk with that annoying sing-song tone of his, “It’s about time entertainment found this place. Just when I thought it was getting boring.”
“Do you even have a heart?” Hiroko sneered as she glared at him, his expression didn’t change though, in fact he looked even more amused at getting under not only your skin but Hiroko’s as well.
“A heart isn’t needed in the Borderlands, so I’d say no, I guess?” Chishiya shrugged illusively as you rolled your eyes, finally leaning on the other side of your chair so you could get a proper look at the smug bastard, he seemed in a relatively good mood today all things considered.
“Let’s do a game with Kuina tonight! I haven’t gotten to play a game with her since she got here, I think it’d be pretty fun.” You smiled enthusiastically, Kuina had immediately become a part of the group the moment she had discovered the Beach and you were thrilled for her company as you got along great together.
Not only thing but much to your surprise it seemed Chishiya also enjoyed her company- though he would never willingly admit to that, you could still sense it though, Chishiya’s expression didn’t change drastically but it was distinct, his nose wrinkling ever so slightly and his lips twisting just by a hair, “Don’t look like that!” You whined, kicking your legs in your chair, “It can’t just always be us playing games. Besides, you enjoy Kuina’s company.”
“I’m not interested in doing a game tonight.” Chishiya replied curtly, his gaze looked near feline as you snorted with a raised eyebrow, Chishiya, not in the mood for a game? In what world?
“What plans do you have- besides brooding in your room the whole day or being a menace to society? You should consider lying out in the sun a little, your ultraviolet rays aren’t making it to your ghost legs.” You waved at him and you could hear Hiroko snort.
Chishiya’s pupils narrowed as he spoke, “Ultraviolet rays are a form of electromagnetic radiation- meaning they’re most prominent during cloudy days, it doesn’t visibly tan skin but can still leave you with sunburn.” You nearly yelped at cold slim fingers suddenly grabbing your chin, forcefully making you crane your head to stare at those cold eyes as you squirmed, “But I’m sure your little brain can’t understand that concept, can it? Hm? Because you’re an idiot?” He spat out though it really didn’t hold a bite to it.
That’s kinda hot.
Your face felt like it was burning and it was absolutely not the ultraviolet rays doing that as you shoved Chishiya’s hand away from you face, thoroughly embarrassed at the intrusive thought that had entered the back of your head, “You’re such a fucking nerd! Jesus, I’m- I’m gonna go find Kuina!” You fumbled out of your chair creating as much distance from Chishiya as possible as you rubbed your neck, “Asshole.” You hurriedly called out for good measure as you began walking into the hotel. Your face felt like it had been lit on fire the whole walk back and you didn’t even want to start unpacking what you had thought because…! It was just an intrusive thought! It happens all the time, no reason to make a big deal out of it…! It happens…! All of the time! “Are you good?” You hadn’t even realized you had found Kuina until she spoke to you, her eyebrow cocked as she snorted, “You seem flustered.”
“I’m fine!” You spoke sharply, crossing your arms, well aware of the broody pout you sported and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t make it go away, “...My-...” You sighed, taking a breath to regather yourself, “My visa ends in two days so I was wondering if you wanted to help me with a game tonight?”
Kuina’s lips suddenly twisted into a grin as she puffed her chest a little, “Hell yeah! We’ll be the power duo of the night!” She wrapped an arm around your neck pulling you way too close to her- “Meanwhile let’s enjoy ourselves, I was just playing poker if you wanna join in?” You frowned, unfamiliar with the rules but you figured why not?
Midday turned into the afternoon and the afternoon soon turned into nightfall where you and Kuina began to prep to go out. Stepping outside the gates of the Beach though you wanted to snort at the sight ahead of you, “Shouldn’t you be in your room brooding?”
“Oh? Shouldn’t you be groveling at my feet in thanks for helping your stupidity?” Chishiya replied, his hood was pulled up and one earbud was dangling against his jacket, he had actually gotten dressed out beach attire today much to your surprise.
At least you weren’t the only one who didn’t care for the beach attire rule. Everyone else just kept making fun of you for it until now, Kuina was still in her beach top but had a cropped jean jacket to go with it and hey, it’s not like her style had changed much up until this point.
You sighed exasperatedly and decided the battle just wasn’t worth it at the moment with him, but granted was it ever? Chishiya was someone who, in his own mind, never lost an argument. But maybe, it wasn’t so much you were looking to win the argument as you were just more times then less, enjoyed dicking around with him and watching him get increasingly annoyed at whatever bullshit flew out of your mouth.
The drive to a venue was unshockingly filled with bickering that never ceased between you both except now- somehow even worse with the addition of Kuina who was more then happy to shove her input into the conversation, which almost always made the chaos even worse.
It was good short trip though altogether, “Uh, is this even a venue?” You frowned at the starlight hotel that was dazzling, obviously it was but…”I dunno about this guys.” You didn’t have a good feeling about this venue. It just seemed way too big.
Chishiya curved a brow as he snorted, “The worst that could happen is your death- which at this point you beg for every other second of the day. Doesn’t seem like a bad trade off to me.”
“Where’s the trade off in that?” Kuina chimed in, walking beside you both as you approached the large building, cars were piled up making the street hard to even get across leaving you all on the side walk with the car a little ways back and you spotted someone already entering the venue. It was probably packed with people given it was such a big venue.
Stuff like this always attracts newcomers too.
“The trade off is Y/n finally dies and I’m rid of her insufferable presence.” Chishiya answered with that stupid thin smile of his making you huff as you crossed your arms, pausing as you watched them both walk ahead before stopping to look at you, who was dramatically puffing your cheeks, “Insufferable yet you only do games with me? Okay. You know, is this some new found kink you have or something? Where you have to remind me every two seconds of how dumb I am or that you don’t like me when you do?” A smile curled on your lips as you leaned forward a little, admittedly feeling a little cocky on calling him out on his bullshit.
Kuina’s eyebrows raised as she turned to look at Chishiya, looking mildly conflicted between suddenly being a third wheel but also too invested to not see how Chishiya would reply. He only puffed an amused breath, as if whatever you said sounded stupid to him, probably did, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He let out a sing-song tone that nearly had steam coming out of your ears as you stomped your foot….This…! This absolute-
You weren't able to retaliate, cut off by a strangled yelp that escaped you at being ripped into the alleyway by your hair, it was dark compared the well light walkway from the venue, hands were all over you trying to get a good grip on you as you squirmed and yelped once more as being slammed into the wall, “We got one! Let's go!” You could distinctly make out the sound of Kuina’s voice but everything sounded muffled and you were acutely aware of a cloth bag being out over your head and being jostled around. It was only another minute before you were shoved somewhere hard and small- presumably a trunk and then, nothing.

The light was bright in stark contrast to the black tote bag- yes black tote bag- because apparently just using a plastic bag and ending your miserable fucking existence was too much to ask at this point- they had used to cover your head, your lips curled a little and your eyes squinted at the gritty space that looked a lot like a car parking building. What you didn’t like about this, were your hands being tied behind your back and the fact that you were surrounded by men.
Oh, you really didn’t like this. It was clear the whole place had been turned into a raunchy hang out place for all kinds of bad and you could only assume this was the group Hiroko had warned you about.
“There’s our Cinderella!” Your lips twitched and slowly turned into a frown as you heard multiple hollars at the sound of the voice that approached you, the man who was clearly in charge around here couldn’t have been any older than you by the looks of it. In fact...why did he look so familiar…?
He stood in front of you, a smirk plastered on his lips that made your frown further before he grabbed your chin, “Just look at that pretty face, if it weren’t for that little wristband of yours we’d let you stay for free, yeah?” He turned over his shoulder to what you could only assume was his friend and then it hit you.
Kamei Rin, that’s who this was, it nearly made you want to laugh. He was a psychology major just like you and you often shared lectures together- except you were positive he didn’t recognize you the way you did him and his friend was Ichikawa Hikaru, was a major in law. They went to your campus and were pretty heavily known due to being popular and in one of the best fraternities there.
The mention of a wristband made you frown however, he was talking about your room number key, the one everyone wore which had their board number on it. If you moved up on the board you changed out rooms, it was a simple concept but this just confirmed that they indeed, caught on to everyone at the Beach wearing one. Which meant this was why they captured you, you expected no less but still the idea made your stomach churn ever so slightly.
You said nothing, unsure of what to say or how to present yourself in this situation to these two men and all of their cronies that stared down at you, Rin’s hand squeezed your chin harshly as you looked up at him wordlessly, “Obedient are we?” He teased lightly and the words made you want to roll your eyes but you refrained, “Since you’re so slow, allow me to explain everything.”
Your lips twitched a little, now fully resisting a snarky reply as Rin released your chin from his grip, “We’re the Alpha Makeup, our group is small and based around the best of the best, we have our spade team,” he nodded over to one group which seemed to be rough housing with one another, “The diamonds.” He nodded the other way to a more reclusive group and you could’ve deduced that much without his introduction, “The clubs here.” He waved around himself towards the others the piled around you, “And of course us, Hearts players. If you couldn’t tell.” He sent you a charming smile, yes, this was absolutely Rin, you’d remember those pearly white teeth from anywhere, “I’m Kamei Rin, the leader around here.”
“Oh? But you never explained why I’m here…?” Your lips tugged into a helpless pout, your eyes immediately dropping a little and your shoulders curling as best they could. Yes…within those seconds you decided what you’d do, easily.
You could hear a warm chuckle sound throughout the room before Rin kneeled down to make eye contact with you, an amused expression in his face- presumably at your timid reaction, “Well sweetheart allow me to explain- you see you have a wristband which lets us know you’re from another group. A bigger group yeah? The Beach, was it?” Your lips quivered a little as you frowned, at his words, “That’s your group isn’t it? Don’t lie. Even a pretty face doesn’t suit a liar.”
Matsuda Rin was an excellent psych student, he tutored in his spare time, took extra credit, volunteered hours to help programs, but he was also a notorious heartbreaker and was well known for some considerably toxic habits which came to you as ironic, after all, why go into the world of psychology if one doesn’t even want to start with the first change- themselves?
This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence of course, you had run into many people who were in the same major as you and yet they were the ones that genuinely needed someone to tell them the truth about major red flags they exuded.
You wouldn’t dub Rin one of these people back before the Borderlands, he wasn’t the greatest guy, but you had always felt- from what you heard down the line- that he knew what he was doing was wrong and was attempting to make a change. Failing yeah, but it was the thought and attempt that count, but given the state he was in now you could only assume currently that much like many others, he had crumbled to the Borderlands.
“Well...yeah I guess,” You mumbled, your bottom lip jutting slightly as your eyes downcasted, shifted a little uncomfortable due to the restraints that were tight on your wrists, “It’s not an actual beach though…” This made all the men around you laugh, not just laugh, but directly at what you said, as if you had said something insanely stupid.
If it wasn’t for this being an act, you would’ve actually felt self conscious but the more they assumed you a ditz the better of a position you were in when it came to the long run of this situation, you were well aware this situation wasn’t to your advantage, lying wasn’t an option- at least out right and resisting would only end you in murky water- possibly death. They couldn’t begrudge you too much if you simply just couldn’t be blamed for not knowing anything.
Or in your care, pretending you were too much of a ditz to properly answer a question.
“We know that sweetheart,” Rin’s smile was charming but his voice dripped with condescension as he pouted his lips somewhat mockingly, “All you have to tell us is where the location is at hm? Then we’ll take you right back.”
You forced your lips to tremble a little and your eyes darting away from his, making your eyes blur a little with watery eyes as you mumbled, “...Well...I know it’s beyond water...um...I don’t...I don’t drive when we go out for games…” The only reason you felt so warm was probably because of how much of an idiot you felt like at the moment suddenly hearing them all begin to snicker at your obvious daftness.
“I told you we should’ve went for the taller one,” Hikaru tutted, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he looked down at you suspectedly, “ You can never rely on women like this to know anything.”
Rin sighed exasperatedly as he closed his eyes, “All in good time Hikaru, just because she doesn’t know exactly doesn’t mean she can’t give us details in good time, right sweetheart?” His fingers trailed down your jawline making your lips come close to twitching but you managed to keep a doe like expression on your face.
“I...I guess I don’t have much of a choice…” You mumbled once more, frowning as you gently tugged out of his grip though your resistance was weak against the force of his hand. Rin’s smile was thin as he looked down at you, “Don’t act all put out, I know just how you’ll fit in around here until that ditzy little memory of yours is working again princess.”

“...We should get back to the Beach and get help, I don’t think this is a good idea...I mean, there’s two of us, and a lot of them…” Kuina walked up to the large building, a car lot building to be precise, in fact, it was so large, she was surprised it wasn’t a game venue as it looked like the definition of a perfect place for one.
Chishiya had been silent the majority of the time, hands stuffed in his pockets and his hoodie covering the upper part of his face, shadowing out the deep set glare he had on the building, “Oh? What’s the most they’ll do to two willing captives hm?” Finally a sinister smirk crawled on his lips, “Just when I thought things were getting a little boring.”
Kuina twisted a little to look down at the feline eyes that bore into the building before he strode up to it, shaking her head she sighed, deciding to not argue with him after all, what was the use? For two people who weren’t into each other at all, Kuina had a difficult time believing the fact that Chishiya had instantly tracked down their headquarters within an hour and was now ready to face whatever they wanted- was strictly platonic.
But whatever.
She strode a little behind him as they entered the first lot which was unsurprisingly empty and there their journey up the staircase began. It wasn’t until the seventh level that they began to hear distant laughter from above alerting them that they were getting closer to their destination.
Kuina was nearly wiped, her hand gripping the handrail for dear life as she wheezed to get her breath back, “So what’s the plan to get your girlfriend back? We just waltz in and demand they give her back?”
Chishiya scoffed a little, side eyeing her briefly as he leisurely stepped up the stairs, “Precisely what I’ll do, I don’t make exceptions for idiots that don’t even try to cover their tracks.” It was truly a pathetic attempt in kidnap, not only did they burn rubber tracks into the ground halfway through the ride but they had made a pitiful mess on the sidewalk they used to get past all the traffic of cars, and of course the trash they blew past might as well have left a trail, even a child could have found this poor attempt at a hideout.
It didn’t take long for them to be spotted by a few of the guards, granted Chishiya made no attempt at any point to try and hide, after all there was no point in drawing this out any longer then purely necessary, your visa only had two days left on it and wasting tonight was not on the to do list.
“Well look here, two more members of the Beach.” One guard stated with a smug look, peering at both of their bracelets, “Arms up where we can see them.”
“Chishiya…” Kuina glanced at him pointedly but he said nothing, a haughty look on his face as he held up his hands.
“Two more? Then that means you already have one of us here, I guess?"
Kuina glanced not at Chishiya but at the guards in concern, his expression was wickedly sinister, a haughty smirk coiled on his face but his glare looked like it could kill instantly.
Both of the guards however didn’t seem to realize what kind of danger they were in, “Oh yeah we got one of your members already,” The guard snorted as they dragged them both along, “The only thing she’s proven good at is having a nice pair of tits to look at though.”
Kuina’s glare sharpened at the blatant sexualization but before she could respectfully kick both of their asses they entered the top of the stairwell into the main floor of the parking garage, presumably where everyone resided as people crowded up here.
“Well, it must be our lucky day,” A man called out, sitting in a chair, a leg propped over it’s arm rest, “You know these two doll?” He glanced down.
And you were certainly a sight to see, having been forced to change into a pair of cut off high waisted shorts and stripped of your shirt, wearing only the bikini top you had on beneath it. That wasn’t what Chishiya’s eyes had focused on though. No it was the dog collar around your neck, a chain leash attached to it as the man yanked it, make forcing you closer to him where you had been kneeled on the ground. And even more shockingly you didn’t resist, rather the opposite.
You laid your arms over his lap as you looked up at him with mistakenly innocent eyes, “They seem a little familiar, what are you gonna do Rin?”
The man, Rin only grinned, grabbing your chin with a squeeze, “Don’t worry sweetheart, it just means you get to stay with us that much longer.”
Chishiya hadn’t even realized how hard his hand had coiled until a warm sticky liquid slowly dripped into his palm from where his nails dug too deep into his skin.
If there was one thing he was certain of, it was that he would make sure this man had an excruciatingly painful death. He would make sure of it.
Ofc I can <3 Also, (no hate to you) anyone requesting please ask in my inbox or I'm most likely gonna forget about it.
@shotaswifey

Chishiya x reader

I fell to my knees and I slowly pulled down his pants. I stared at his hard cock for a second then slowly brought my mouth towards it. I licked a long stripe up the base which elicited a gasp from Chishiya.
I looked up at him seductively and smirked. I teasingly licked the tip and swirled my tongue around it. I sucked the tip a little then I felt pressure on my head. I gagged when he fully entered my mouth. He must have pushed my head with his hand asshole.
I looked up at him with an annoyed look and he just smirked and thrusted in me. I gagged and gripped his hips. He groaned and his hold on my head tightened. I continued to bob my head up and down his length. Lewd sucking noises filled the room.
I slowly picked up the pace and sucked him harder and faster. He let out a low moan and his nails dug into my scalp. His hips bucked into me. I brought my hand to his balls and caressed them. I gently squeezed them and smoothed my thumb over them.
Chishiya gasped, and when I traced my tongue over a vain he came. Hot sticky liquid flowed down my throat. I shut my eyes for a second and swallowed every drop. I made a humming sound and grinned. I released his cock with a loud pop. I licked my lips and started at his figure.
idk if you're still taking requests of kuzuryu, but can we get a fic of him x reader where reader is giving him head under his desk?
Of course I still write for that gorgeous man 🥰
There is nsfw so minors dni
Kuzuryu x reader

Kuzuryu was at his desk working on his never ending stacks of paper. He promised you he would give it a break and spend time with you. You were never the patient type when it came to him so, you thought of ways to get his attention.
Your lips curled into a smirk and it stretched to a grin. You thought of something that could definitely work. You walked to his office and opened the door. He glanced up at you but didn't say anything.
You walked until you were by him and you pushed his chair back a bit. He was taken off guard and immediately looked up at you. "Y/N?" He says, you didnt say anything but you smile a him and drop to your knees.
You made your way underneath his desk and fully situate yourself. His eyes widen as he realizes what your trying to do. He coughs and his face heats up slightly. He moves his chair and makes it to where his crouch is only a couple inches away from you.
You lick you lips and unbuckle his belt and pull down his briefs. His cock springs out and you grin. You take it into your hand and give it a few slow strokes. You give a few kitten licks and then a big lick on one of his veins. He shivers and grips his chair. You kiss the tip and then start to suckle on it before fully taking it into your mouth.
He tries to concentrate on his work but the feeling of your mouth on him is making him melt. He let's out soft moans and he bucks his hips making his cock hit the back of your throat making you gag. His eyes briefly close and he opens them and sorts through his papers. His long slender fingers long to be in your hair and face fuck you; but he controls himself.
You move your hand to your groin and start to pleasure yourself. First slowly to match your pace on Kuzuryu then as you get faster your motions on yourself get faster. You moan around him and your salvia coats his cock. Oh how you missed the taste of him in your mouth.
You release him from your mouth and a string of salvia follows. Kuzuryu groans st the lost of contact. He was close and you denied him release. You let out moans and makes sure Kuzuryu hears them. You finish all over your hand your eyes roll back. Kuzuryu grips his desk, he knew what game you were playing. Naughty thing.
You teased his tip, kissing and licking it. You pumped him in your hand before sucking him. You bobbed your head and had your tongue run the underside of him. Your left hand rest on his thigh while the other massages his balls. Kuzuryu sucks in a breathe almost snaps the pen in his hand from gripping it so hard.
He signed a couple papers and his signature was getting sloppy. Damn you were good at this. He leaned back in his chair and looked at you. He grinned at you taking his cock so nicely. You grew upset that he was enjoying this but he was not getting a release anytime soon. You'll keep him on edge and never let him cum till he's begging.
------
"P-please Y/N let me cum~'' he whines. He hasn't cum once since you've started while you cum several. His cock is aching and twitching with your salvia covering him like it's a new layer of skin. "Please let me cum please...hah~ I'll promise I'll pay more attention to you..." He whines
"hmm maybe" you say while stroking him. He moans and you open your mouth sticking out your tongue slightly. Your hand movement quickens and you decide to let him cum. Your bored of teasing because your jaw is aching and your hands are tired. He grips the chair and bucks his hips and his cum shoots on your face. Some gets in your mouths and cheek. You lips it up and smirk at him "You did so well~" Kuzuryu sighs in his chair lightly moaning. "Thank you.." he moans
At your service 😘✨
❛LITTLE MISS NURSE.❜ | shuntaro chishiya x fem!reader
genre: FLUFF WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO (enemies kind of shit)
warnings: gore and yes😆😆😆
sypnosis: after hours of waiting for shuntaro chishiya to return from a deadly game, he finally came back. with a lot of blood too. who else would patch him up if not you?
author's note: STOP I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS WHEN I WAS STILL WORKING ON IT ITS SO 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎 anyways men in pain r one of the hottest things ever. 😁😁😁😁 (big big big bonus if its shuntaro chishiya!!!!!!)
dedication: @emiemith <333


the pitter-patter of your shoe was heard throughout the whole room, bouncing off the walls, for your foot has been unconsciously tapping the floor the past few hours due to nervousness. minutes turned into hours, and shuntaro chishiya still hasn't been seen. messy hair, sweaty forehead, glassy eyes, chest heaving up and down, fidgeting hands. you had it all.
what if he died?
it was a small chance, knowing he was a one of a kind. but it was still a chance that could happen at any time. no one was invincible in borderland.
but still, you held onto that rope of hope that he was still alive. he had to be.
no, you and chishiya were lovers. you were not even close at all. you were enemies, always at each other's neck, always fighting over the simplest things, and such. but there were times when you both shared your love and care for each other. in your own ways.
and as if your prayers have been answered, chishiya came through the door. but as soon as he stepped in, he immediately collapsed to the floor, coughing out blood. and you didn't waste time to rush by his side to help him.
it took a long time, but with his arm slung around your shoulders, you carried his passed out body all the way to your own room.
you let him lie down on your bed, and you scrambled to get all of the materials you needed to make him feel better.
looking down at chishiya, you tried your best to put your fears aside, and finally look at him. he was truly hurt. he had small cuts adorning his face, and you tried to take his jacket and his shirt off due to the pool of blood on his clothing. but doing so made him jolt awake.
"(name)?"
the sound of his raspy voice made you look back up at him, and you smiled as a way to comfort him. to let him know everything was going to be okay.
"chishiya, you're awake!" you expressed, teary-eyed. you were literally on the verge of breaking down. him being hurt made you hurt. maybe even more.
"(name), you look like you're about to cry. you care about me that much, huh?" he teased you with a smirk, barely keeping his eyes open. "a few scratches won't hurt me. you don't have to patch me up, darling, just because you have a crush on me."
you forced an irritated laugh, ignoring the 'darling'. it meant nothing at all since he always called you that, knowing you got annoyed every single time. to prove a point, you slightly pressed the obvious wound beneath his shirt, and watched as he winced, throwing his head back with a groan.
you chuckled as you pulled away, turning away to grab a wet cloth to clean his wound with. with a smile, you looked at him. "now be a good boy and remove your shirt unless you want me to do it for you, shuntaro."
rolling his eyes, he carefully removed his jacket, and his shirt soon followed. you couldn't help but gawk at the sight. not because of the gash on his stomach, but because of how his body was perfectly sculpted.
you were stuck to your place, and chishiya looked up at you with a teasing smirk. "well, little miss nurse?"
you were quick to cough as a way to clear your throat, licking your lips. and you then sat down on the bed, leaning closer to clean the blood surrounding his wound.
as you were treating the gash, you could hear him trying his best to keep his whimpers and groans quiet. you stopped yourself from smiling uncontrollably after hearing such things, mentally scolding yourself.
"i didn't know you were that good with this, (last name)."
scoffing, you rolled your eyes at him, as you tightened the bandage you were currently wrapping around his stomach.
"and i didn't know you were stupid enough to get stabbed during a game. i mean, it's a shame really . . . seeing such a handsome face with cuts."
"oh, so you do find me handsome?" chishiya remarked with a devilish grin, knowing you were becoming irritated. but it's a good thing you already finished.
ignoring the question, you stood up with a victorious 'done'. he watched you, tilting his head to the side before saying
"if i knew you would be the one to patch me up after getting hurt, i would hurt myself every day."