Also Angst - Tumblr Posts
Considering the terrible terrible things I've done to my favorite characters? Happy characters have told their story in another book. 😬💀
treat yourself like you would treat your favorite character
Big Hit Producer Kim Namjoon has orbited his supposed soulmate for years. It's frustrating, this constant state of almost meeting. Then the words on his arm disappear. Right as a bike messenger with a very familiar face is struck by a delivery van and pretty much dies in front of him.
Working as a bike courier by day and underground rapper pretty much any other time, Min Yoongi's life and work takes him all through the Gangnam district of Seoul. The regular changing of his soul words is a given, right up until they disappear as a van runs him down.
23K words
Explicit
M/M
“Harder. Please.”
The whispered entreaty drove Kim Namjoon’s hips bucking forward, drawing an appreciative moan from the woman impaled on his cock. Heavy bass rhythms thumped just beyond the locked door behind him, providing a beat to sync his movements to. An impatient fist pounded on said door. Maybe someone shouted hurry the fuck up. Maybe he didn’t care.
“C’mon, baby.” The girl riding his cock wriggled.
He’d already forgotten her name, but fuck, she felt so fine. The pussy clenching snug around his dick chased a high, dragging him closer and closer to the edge.
“God damn, you feel good.”
He grunted something contextually appropriate.
“What do they say?” Delicate fingers wrapped around his left forearm, perfectly fake thumb nail scraping the skin of his inner wrist. “Your words.”
Fuck. They always wanted to talk about the words. Did she want to kill all possibility of an orgasm?
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Don’t be like that.” She pushed back against him, inner muscles clamping down hard enough to draw a hissing curse out of him. “If they’re there, they matter.”
Namjoon didn’t remember a time without the words, but his parents told him he first asked about them the summer before kindergarten.
The fucking words.
Some were boring. Some were rude. Occasionally sad. Or funny. Random. Always without context. Always special. A tiny sneak peek into the future. Proof that someone existed out there just for him.
The words marked the first conversation with a nebulous unknown, the soulmate.
“Then they aren’t there.” He wrapped a hand in her hair, tugging until she arched her back with a husky moan. “But you... Are. Right. Here.”
He punctuated each word with a snap of his hips.
Cutting through the pain? *Begins to cry tears of laughter that turn into tears of sadness*
To anyone in the TUC fandom who has looked at AHS and skipped it because they heard the ending is happy...
... and then assumed that it's just a wish fulfillment "ideal reality" kind of outcome of the TUC story that cuts all of the depth, pain, and realism ... Go back and read it right now.
Because that is not what AHS is. Not even close.
AHS is not "my version" of TUC where I just change whatever I dislike without regard for themes or characters in the original. Far from it. One of the main goals I had was actually to give more of the Underland. More characterization (that aligns with canon, although some characters develop in a different direction because of shifts in circumstances), more worldbuilding (that coincides with canon, adding onto it), ... just more, period.
The best way I can describe what it actually is is honestly saying that AHS is to TUC like Marvel's "What if ...?" is to the MCU. It is quite literally a "What if Henry had survived his fall at the end of "Gregor the Overlander"?" And I kid you not, 95% of the changes in the story, compared to TUC, are simply a result of exactly this change.
But the entire plot of the final book is different, right? Well, I didn't say that the consequences of that one change weren't substantial. They are. Without spoiling too much I can only say that Henry happens to be an optimist, and it also happens that an optimist was exactly what the TUC story needed to achieve a happier outcome.
Anyone who has actually read my version of the CoC plot will tell you that it is far from ideal, perfect, or pain-free. A lot more happens in the actual plot, but most of those new events are there to serve the dark, violent nature of war. There's so much talk about loss, and sacrifice, exploration of (also the dark side of) heroism, and whether "for the greater good" is worth it. There's corruption and death, injustice, and grappling with unkind fates and alienation/rejection.
Now, I will admit that I did put less emphasis on the societal pressure aspect of CoC, but mainly because that theme is a huge part of AHS 2 already, and it did not really fit this part of the story anymore. Instead, "Gregor against society" becomes "Questers against society" (quite literally, since they are — small spoiler — banding together to actually overthrow Solovet and bring about change.)
BUT ... if there is corruption, death, and the violence of war, how is it happier then? How can it have a happy ending?
Very simply because it is not only corruption but also redemption. Not only death and suffering but also growth and gain. Not only violence and breaking of relationships but also companionship, hope, and mending of relationships.
... The main change that happens to be so powerful it can give this series a happy ending without disrespecting or abandoning its original gritty violent core is ... a shift in mindset toward the positive. For Gregor, but also for everyone else. One of the main themes I added is the exploration of the double-edged nature of things: Everything has good and bad consequences. What we take away from it is what we choose to focus on.
Now you might see better what I meant by "All this series needed was an optimist" earlier. If there were someone to remind people of the bright side, to remind Gregor that his rager power does not make him evil and that he is never alone or choiceless, to embody this hopeful outlook and bring it out in everything ... I promise to you that this is all it would have taken.
And this is what I'm giving you.
do I think the grishaverse au and the divorce au do not get the deserved appreciation as compared to my other perpollo works? yes. do i talk about it? not fucking enough.