Ateez Seonghwa X Reader - Tumblr Posts

"It was almost as if the heavens were conspiring against you, keeping you from doing the one thing that brought you the most joy." man i felt so bad for them here and the fact they have to hide doing all this

"but your grandfather made sure he taught you everything he knew before he passed away when you were barely fifteen" this was so cute of him to do 😭🥺 im so glad he taught them everything!!

but he had never seen the sheer amount of love and awe in anyone’s eyes as they gazed up at the skies, except for yours. Every time he went past Earth, Seonghwa was always touched by your curiosity and passion for his creations." this made me flutter so much wow i fell in love with these words the way he saw the appreciation of his beauty by them!!

"he gets worried and decides to break Celestia’s one rule: he descends upon Earth." omg the way he just broke the rule this 😭😭😭😭😭 i love him so much for that.

i felt so bad for him when he came down only to find out.. God. that hurt so badly. with him destroying the galaxies 😭😭😩

“Can you… can you make me a mortal the next time her soul walks on Earth?” STOPPPPP!!!

"celebrating the first meeting of its creator and the light for whom he gave up for his immortality." i died reading this omg this was everything i literally fell off my couch 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you deserve so much kisses for this, writer!!

Looking For Star, Looking For Love

pairing: celestial deity!Seonghwa x fem!Reader // idol!Seonghwa x fem!reader

genre: reincarnation!au. angst. a sprinkle of fluff. meet cute-ish?

wc: 2.6k+

warnings: major character death. angst. some fluff. I think there's more fluff than I think there is but oof— mentions of MC's mom screaming (not at her). I wrote this in the middle of the night... It's literally 2 a.m. rn... So there might be typos/mistakes jsksksks ;~;

summary: what happens when a celestial deity falls for you!

Tumblr is based on a system of reblogs, not likes. Please reblog my work. Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated.

a/n: um... I did a little something for Seonghwa's birthday. I hope you enjoy! Happy Hwa Day, everyone!

As always thank you everyone who reads, leaves a comment, reblogs, likes, and sends in asks! You're always welcome to tell me what you liked, what you didn't, your thoughts about the fic, or simply just tell me your reaction! Much love!

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The sun lights up the sky during the daytime, blessing everything it touches with warmth and light. But as night falls and the sun graces the other side of the planet with its light, one can truly see how dark the universe is. Far, far above the Earth’s atmosphere, space fades into an inky pitch-black, only punctuated by the feeble glimmers of distant stars and galaxies.

But tonight, the stars have been replaced by dark, stormy clouds, replaced by nothing but the small droplets of rain that fall down towards the ground, reflecting the dull light from the lamps nestled between the trees lining the roads. A horse carriage clatters to the seafront as the guard making his nightly rounds blows his whistle in the distance.

Inside a manor overlooking the sea, a woman’s unceasing tirade raises to its usual pitch of anger. Your mother shouts at the cooks as she did whenever a ball is imminent. Considering this ball is for your sister’s engagement, you sort of understand her worries. But at the same time, your skin prickles at her shrill voice, and you feel a wave of sympathy for whoever it is she has turned her ire upon. 

When angry, your mother is a force to be reckoned with that even your father doesn’t wish to cross. You shut the library doors behind you, breathing a sigh of relief when your mother’s voice falls to a mere murmur. Bless your father for ensuring that the library would be somewhat soundproof when the manor was being built.

You walk over to the table, flipping open your journal, which contains sketches of the positions of stars, the moon, and the different planets at various times of the year. When you reach a blank sheet, you can’t help but frown. You were looking forward to sketching the stars tonight, for your father had seen shooting stars blazing through the skies last night. You were surprised when he talked about it at breakfast earlier today, for according to your calculations, the yearly showers weren’t supposed to start until next week. Yet, the prospect of seeing the shooting stars was exciting, and you had planned your weekly escape from the manor meticulously. All of your plans turned to dust the moment it started raining. It was almost as if the heavens were conspiring against you, keeping you from doing the one thing that brought you the most joy.

Another sigh leaves you, and you gently put the journal away at the back of a shelf stocked with books on painting, books you knew no one in your family would touch. The cleaners weren’t allowed to take out the books from their shelves anyways, so no one would discover your little secret. You may not have received a formal education, but your grandfather made sure he taught you everything he knew before he passed away when you were barely fifteen. He had done so despite your parents being against it, and even now, they frowned upon your fascination with the stars. So you hid it well, playing the role of an obedient daughter, even if to stay out of trouble.

Later that night, after everyone in the manor has gone to sleep, you are awoken by an unpleasant dream. Bleary-eyed, you blink at the familiar sight of your room. The realisation that you’re safe and in your room eases the adrenaline in your veins somewhat, and it is at that moment you register the moonlight filters in through your windows. A confused hum leaves your lips. You remember falling asleep to the sound of raindrops and thunder, so it does strike you as a little weird that the storm passed so soon.

You pull back the blankets covering you and pad over to the french windows that open to the terrace. A gust of cold breeze hits you as you step outside, and you shiver, wrapping your robe around yourself tighter. It’s not much help, though, considering that the material is quite flimsy anyways. But the sight of the clear sky makes a smile pull at your lips as you gaze up in wonder.

From the corner of your eye, you see what you had been praying to lay your eyes upon ever since you heard your father’s words. There, in the sky, quick streaks of light erupt in the vast inkiness of the night, disappearing just as quickly as they appear. Quick as you can, you turn back to run to your room and grab the telescope your grandfather had gifted to you on your fourteenth birthday. You quickly set it up on its stand and angle yourself to look through the lens.

You can’t help but marvel at the beauty of the shooting stars as they blaze across the night sky, falling prey to the Earth’s gravity and dying in a burst of light as they burn in the Earth’s atmosphere. As you watch the shooting stars, you can’t help but remember something you had read in one of the books in the library.

Nothing is immortal. Everything you see in the universe is bound to vanish one day and will be replaced by nothing.

What you don’t know, however, is that high above you, past the atmosphere of the Earth, someone is watching you gaze at the shooting stars with a huge grin on his face. In fact, he deliberately made the meteor shower appear sooner than it should have, just to see the amazement in your eyes.

Having lived for billions of years, creating beautiful celestial phenomena, breathing life and light into the vast expanse of nothingness, Seonghwa had been sure no one appreciated his creations more than himself. Sure, many of the life forms on different planets loved to study his creations, but he had never seen the sheer amount of love and awe in anyone’s eyes as they gazed up at the skies, except for yours. Every time he went past Earth, Seonghwa was always touched by your curiosity and passion for his creations. 

Every week, as you sneaked out of your manor to the cliff a few ways away from your town to study the skies, Seonghwa would find himself watching you. He gazed at you in adoration while you studied the stars and planets, taking notes and drawing sketches of what you saw. Slowly, he found himself creating new celestial objects closer to the Earth so that he could see your eyes light up like the stars he had created as you admired his creations.

“Seonghwa.”

A stern voice causes a shiver down his spine. Schooling his expression, he turns towards the source of the voice. Sure enough, he sees the last person—or in this case, the only primordial deity he feared—he wanted to see. Celestia stands in front of him, hands on her hips as she looks at him with a disappointed expression.

“You cannot let your obsession for a mortal make you forget your duties,” she reprimands him.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t forget any of my duties, Celestia,” Seonghwa tries to placate her anger. He goes through his mental checklist, wondering if he has indeed forgotten something, but he cannot remember anything important enough that would make Celestia this angry.

“You were supposed to create a nebula in a whole other supercluster today,” she reprimanded him. “You have been slacking off on your duties ever since you discovered that little human. Don’t let your attraction for her cloud your judgement.”

For several moments, Seonghwa keeps quiet. His lips move as though trying to speak, though no sound emerges as he tries to come up with an excuse. Sighing when he realises he cannot talk himself out of this, he murmurs out an apology and teleports himself to where he is supposed to be.

Next week, he is unable to see you for your weekly night escapade because he has duties to attend to. So he swallows his disappointment and works on a couple of galaxies that had been colliding for millennia and were in the last phase of the merge. The week after that, when he passes by Earth and doesn’t see you, it strikes him as odd, but he doesn’t think much of it since he remembers that your sister is to be married soon. But when weeks pass, and he doesn’t see you, he gets worried and decides to break Celestia’s one rule: he descends upon Earth.

He emerges out of the tree line, dressed in something similar to what the humans of the town wear. He wastes no time, walking straight to your parents’ manor. But before he arrives at the wrought iron gates, he runs into someone. Apologising profusely, he helps them to pick up the letters that had fallen to the ground.

“You don’t seem to be from here,” the person says. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“Oh, yes,” Seonghwa smiles, handing them the letters. “I’m here to visit the youngest granddaughter of Mr Y/L/N.”

He watches as the person’s expression darkens quickly. The silence lasts for a while as the man searches Seonghwa’s expression for something. When he doesn’t find what he’s looking for, he shakes his head sorrowfully.

“You don’t know?”

“Know what?” Seonghwa frowns. Something akin to dread settles in his stomach as the male continues to observe him.

“She’s gone,” the stranger's voice is brimming with anguish. “A few weeks ago, she went to the cliff with her telescope. We don’t exactly know what happened, but in the wee hours, a couple of fishermen heard her scream. By the time the townsfolk reached, there was no sign of her and her telescope was found broken over the cliffs.”

In the billions of years Seonghwa has lived, the aeons he has seen his creations fade into nothingness, he has never felt sorrow hit him the way it does at the man’s words. He turns back the way he came, teleporting himself back into space the moment he’s sure no one can see him.

By the time Celestia reaches him, he is inconsolable. Seonghwa has destroyed so many galaxies, tearing through them in his grief as if they’re the reason for his anguish. He screams and screams and screams into the void, cheeks streaked with tears as he becomes little more than a vessel of grief.

Celestia doesn’t know how to help him, watching helplessly as she sees Seonghwa’s brightness fade. For the first time, she remembers that even though he is usually the one breathing light into the fabric of space, he’s also the one who creates massive black holes that swallow everything, even light.

Watching him like this, Celestia can’t even bring it upon herself to reprimand him for breaking her only rule: to not show themselves to mortals. She knows he blames himself for what happened. He might have been there to save you if he had not been supervising the collision.

For a long time, she watches him break until weakness and exhaustion take root, and he slumps, nothing but a whimpering mess.

“Can you… can you make me a mortal the next time her soul walks on Earth?”

His voice is hoarse from screaming and crying, and for a moment, Celestia doesn’t register what he has said. It is only when he repeats himself that she understands what he is asking of her, and she gazes at him in horror.

“You are willing to give up your immortality for a human?”

“Why should I roam the infinite expanse of the universe, creating all these beautiful celestial phenomena, when my own light rests in that one soul?” He asks eyes rimmed with redness that reminds her of the fires that blaze in the stars he creates. “I wasn’t able to protect her this time, but I want to be there to protect her and love her the next time she walks on Earth. Please, Celestia, this is the only thing I ask of you. You are capable enough of creating someone else to take over my duties. Please.”

Present Day

Seonghwa strikes off the name of yet another place in his journal. The pen scratches against the paper so harshly that it rips off part of the page, cursing a frustrated noise to leave his lips. The sound of the tearing of paper is loud, causing Hongjoong and Yunho to look up from where they sit on the couch of Seonghwa’s hotel room.

They watch in concern as the eldest male puts on a cap and mask and grabs his coat from the back of a chair.

“I’m going for a walk. Don’t wait up for me,” is the only thing he says before making his way out of the door.

As he walks through the streets, he thinks of how the world looks less optimistic in the dark. Or maybe, it’s all in his head. There’s a void in his chest that doesn’t seem to fill no matter what he does. It is much like a black hole, drawing all his happiness and light into the void and turning it into longing.

Longing for what? He has no idea.

The smell of rain lingers in the air, it had been raining until an hour ago, and the chill still lingers. He feels the wind nip at his exposed skin as he stares, eyes glassy and unfocused, at the sky. Once, the night sky was a constant source of comfort to him, the stars a beacon of love and magnificence. But as time passed, watching the skies made him feel even hollower. He was thankful for his packed schedule, for it allowed him to not stop to even glance at the sky due to how busy he was.

Light from the corner of his eyes catches his attention. It comes from your phone that you just put on the bench you’re seated on. He watches, fascinated, as you push yourself backwards to rest against the back of the bench to look up at the sky. There’s a fluffy jacket covering you, making you appear small, dwarfed either by the size of the furry coat or maybe it’s because he knows the sheer size of the universe above the two of you. Like this, bathed in the dim light of the moon, you look ethereal, and he can’t help but smile beneath his mask.

Without realising it, he finds himself walking up to where you’re seated. He’s drawn to you like a moth to a flame, your light calling out to him much like a siren’s song.

“May I join you?” The words fall from his lips gently, as though he is scared to startle you. It is nighttime, and he’s nothing more than a stranger to you.

But to his utmost surprise, you smile at him brightly. “Are you here to watch the yearly meteor shower too?”

Seonghwa can only nod. He fears if he says something, you’ll not let him stay.

“You made the right choice,” you grin at him, patting the bench for him to sit down on. “This is the best place to watch the meteor shower, unlike what others think. I’m so excited because it is earlier this year. The only time that happened was 200 years ago.”

“Really?” He asks as he settles next to you, fondly listening to what you have to say about the shooting stars, looking at you as if it is you who holds all the secrets of the cosmos in your palms.

Above you, shooting stars streak across the skies, brighter than they have been since 200 years ago, celebrating the first meeting of their creator and the light for whom he gave up his immortality.

ateez reaction to you calling them by their pet name 1/4

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a/n: okay so it’s lunar new year! i have some time off school so i’m going to update a 4 part reaction series to a group i have yet to touch ever since my first few posts T^T enjoy~)

part 2 // part 3 // part 4

『 h o n g j o o n g 』

(a/n: doobi is the korean version of dipsy in teletubbies and i was greatly reminded of hongjoong, yes) 

“doobi, why are you...still up?” hongjoong glanced up from his half filled notebook, lovingly gazing at your sleepy figure. “work.” he gave a one-word reply, still looking at you. you stifled another yawn before slowly shuffling into his opened embrace. hongjoong couldn’t contain his excitement when you curled up, tucking your legs as if you were perched on him. 

“you should be sleeping, little one.” “but the bed’s empty without doobi.” hongjoong’s heart swelled and in one smooth motion he flipped his notebook close. you snuggled into his strong arms as he easily lifted you up, carrying you back to bed. 

“okay, okay. Let’s go to bed.” 

『 s e o n g h w a 』 

(a/n: i just thought “my flower” would be uncommon yet cute,, no thoughts head empty just seonghwa being a happy lil’ dandelion) 

your head was directly above his chest and seonghwa adjusted the bag under his head so he could see you better. His right arm was leaning comfortably across your torso as the scent of your hair tickled his nose. 

his hand was completely at the mercy of your teasing fingers, as you giggled, “even your hands are pretty, my beautiful flower.” seonghwa flushed at the nickname, “ah, you keep saying that.” 

“it’s true. you’re so pretty, from the top to the bottom. and that’s why you’re my flower.” if even humanly possible, seonghwa blushed a deeper shade of red and his left hand fanned his face. 

“you’ll be the death of me.”

“you already know since when.”

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pairing: best friend! seonghwa x artist, gn! reader

↬ tags: non-idol! au, mentions of hongjoong as your older brother (wow!!) and yunho as your next door neighbour, overexhaustion, cuddles!, doesn’t feel platonic! because do best friends just cuddle-, seonghwa and you have history 

summary: it didn’t take much (or long) for seonghwa, your “one-street across” neighbor to catch you when you’re falling

word count: 436 words

“my goodness. you look like you’ve been through hell. no offense.” seonghwa blurted out as soon as he stepped foot into your one-room apartment. 

“sorry. i have been working on a project.” you rubbed your eyes as you vaguely motioned to the canvas behind you. 

seonghwa held up a bag of food, “i figured you could use some sustenance. hongjoong told me you haven’t left your house at all this week. your neighbor yunho can also vouch for that.” 

“my brother did? and my neighbor too?” you placed your hands on your hips and seonghwa bit back a laugh. he placed the bag of good food down, a grin on his face, “as your best friend, i’ve gotta make sure you’re alive despite us living one street apart.” 

you sighed in resignation, but a hint of humor laced your voice, “guess I can’t escape your little birdies.”  

“now come on, let’s get you to—!” seonghwa gasped as your knees buckled. “i’m good. i’m good.” you held a hand out, attempting but failing to reassure seonghwa. “i’m not going to take ‘i’m good’ as a reply.” 

he easily lifted you up and set you down on your bed. a tinge of regret struck him: he should have known that you’ve been stressing yourself out badly. 

“sleep. or eat.” seonghwa glanced down at you. you let out a yawn. “sleep it is. let me dim the lights and grab a cup of water.” “no.” you firmly rejected his proposition. 

seonghwa let out a breath as he sat at the edge of your bed, “need me to hold you?” 

you bashfully nodded. 

“since when did i, park seonghwa, become your security blanket, huh?” he teased, lightly tapping your nose as you rolled to lie on your side, still facing him. 

“what do you mean since when? you already know since when.” you pouted. 

“fine, fine. scoot over.” seonghwa gently lay himself beside you, eyes never leaving yours, “how long has this been going on for?” 

“just this week. stressed.” you thoughtfully replied. 

“could have called me, you know.” Seonghwa carefully responded back, hoping he didn’t sound too pushy. “i thought i could handle sleeping by myself. but hongjoong is overseas and i’m just on neighbor-basis with yunho.” you reached out for seonghwa and he mimicked your actions. in one swift motion, he pulled you into his embrace, his larger frame completely engulfing yours. 

“then there you have it. close your eyes. i’ll put you to sleep.” Seonghwa brushed your hair back, hands resting at the back of your head. “just like the old times?” 

“just like the old times.” 

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs appreciated <3

"i worry for you."

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pairing: mafia! seonghwa x bodyguard/ assistant! gn reader

↬ tags: MATZ being mafia leaders, reader using work as a coping mechanism, mentions of hongjoong once or twice (i'm not really keeping track), not much references of killing/ mafia activities (i think i kept it quite pg!!)

summary: unhealthy coping mechanisms aside, seonghwa wishes you would confide in him first [heads up! seonghwa's thoughts in bold, readers thoughts in italics]

word count: 1,2k words

a/n: this is the most i've ever written in one go (it seems to me my speciality is writing under 1k words because less words = more attention given imo),, i was considering to make this a two part post, but ultimately decided against it // the evil part of me wants to involve hongjoong and make it a love triangle--should i do it?

a/n: (31/1/24) maybe this wasn't as well-accepted i thought it would be...i guess i'll stick to my usual fluffy fics ! to those who supported this thank you xoxo! i actually have written a part 2 separately in tangent with this fic and who knows maybe i'll post it another day

background:

MATZ is an infamous mafia organization run by good friends seonghwa and hongjoong. seonghwa, the brains of the duo is stoic and serious, yet readily supports behind the scenes with logistical planning and meetings. whereas hongjoong, the brawns of the duo is the person at the forefront of many projects, resorting to force when forceful diplomacy doesn't work.

you were someone they found by chance in a dingy alleyway, a tenacious person struggling to make ends meet. under their care, you've been trained as a bodyguard to protect the both of them.

with the many years of excellent service provided them, you were recognized as a highly treasured employee and have been assisting them in many various way, to the extend the two of them trust you with many organizational secrets.

[again, seonghwa's thoughts in bold, readers thoughts in italics!!]

"i see that you have completed my assignment well."

seonghwa spins around in his chair to face you. his gaze lingers on you and you lowered your head, greeting him. this office was a place you frequented to receive your duties, and this one wasn't any different.

your mind drifted to your next agenda, mentally ticking off the various to-do's for the duo. you had just come back from a week long commission and you were to "strung up" to really want to take an off day. you're good, surely, to jump into the next one

seonghwa clears his throat and you replied, a tad bit flustered that you were daydreaming.

"of course. you can trust me."

he gave a curt nod in response, before pushing a manila envelope across his desk towards you. seonghwa watched as you took a step closer to him. reaching out, you swiftly picked up the package, weighing it in your hands. opening the envelope, you sifted through the papers, eyes scanning the documents briefly before slotting them back.

he gave you a moment to set it aside, then spoke levelly, "this is your next assignment." you tucked the package under your arm and bowed, "i understand. i will get right to it." you quickly headed for the door but seonghwa immediately calls out your name, causing you to halt in your steps.

"is there anything i can do for you?" you queried, turning back around to look at him. seonghwa paused, his words full of gentleness as he asked, "have you been okay? truthfully, please, tell me."

he heard the most recent commission was grueling (he had eyes and ears everywhere, even on you), and every time you came back to report something, security had found you crouched outside his door, hyperventilating. that broke his heart, knowing that he had to hear this from an outsider instead of personally from you; even worse that you put up such a front before him, he couldn't get through that wall.

you froze on the spot, taken aback by his question. sincerity coated his words and you find yourself faltering, the carefully pieced together front crumbling.

"i-i'm fine." you held onto the envelope tighter, willing him to just drop the conversation altogether and let you leave. leave and burrow yourself into the next assignment, bottling up everything at the back of your mind.

"i worry for you. i know that you're really excellent at what you do, but these days all i've seen is this...invisible weight you're...carrying around with you." seonghwa stands to his feet and walks towards you.

he's holding back from swooping you into his arms: as a powerful mafia, he should be able to do that, but when it came to you, all coherent thoughts went out the window.

you internally cursed at how you've been read like an open book by him. "there's nothing you need to worry about." you mumbled, reassuring yourself more than him. seonghwa reaches out for you, and you let him hold your forearm.

out of compassion or pity, you didn't know.

his expression softens at your acceptance, "it is my responsibility to care for those working with me, physically and mentally. you, especially. you're not alone, you know that right?"

for some reason, his words rooted deep in your heart and you felt your heart split into two, holding back unshed tears.

you haven't been completely honest with him, yet you somehow have the feeling he knows too. you continue to hang your head, hoping that he hadn't notice the tears forming rapidly.

seonghwa seemed to notice this and he exhales, pulling you into his embrace. you didn't have time to protest against his actions as he holds you close to him, arms wrapped protectively around you.

you were instantly transported back in time to when you were hanging on to any semblance of hope by a thread--a measly fighter in the streets--when seonghwa and hongjoong approached you and offered this job in return.

seonghwa's body is so close to yours that he can hear your erratic heartbeat and hidden sobs. you felt his lips next to your ear, his voice so low that it is barely audible.

"you're safe now. let your tears out if you need to." seonghwa soothes you, his hands stroking your back as if placating a child. you trembled in his arms, more tears escaping you inevitably. you didn't trust yourself to say anything, so you clung on to him tighter, overwhelmed by all the things you've tried to shoulder alone.

seonghwa rubs your back to ease your mind. he whispers and his voice is comforting, "it is okay to cry. i'm here."

and so you did--much like a baby. after a while, when all of the tears left you rather tired, you pulled away from his embrace.

you instantly missed the sound of his heartbeat right next your ear.

he wipes the stray tears with his thumb and you felt a wave of embarrassment flood you.

"i'm sorry for that. i should have..."

"there's nothing to apologize for. if anything, i should have noticed when you started taking commission after commission without any breaks. i should have realized something was bothering you." seonghwa shoots you a wry smile, apology written in his dark eyes.

wordlessly, seonghwa leads you to the lounge sofa away from his desk and sits you down, grabbing his quilt nearby and draped it over your shoulders. he knelt beside you, eyes never breaking contact. despite his cold front, his warmth says otherwise and that never fails to surprise you.

as he stood up, he felt you gingerly grasp onto his wrist, preventing him from walking away. your eyes were pleading him to stay, full of raw vulnerability; he almost wished he had got you to confide in him earlier.

"i'm just going to grab some water for you. i'll be back." seonghwa tucks the quilt tighter around you and tenderly pushes you back to rest on his sofa. he strides quickly out of the room and you slowly shut your eyes.

you knew he was a meticulous person, but seeing him being this soft-spoken unlike his usual stoic self felt like another barrier between you two has dissolved.

you felt like...now you could afford to be vulnerable. in front of him, at least.

suddenly, the room dimmed down considerably. you could tell by the sound of seonghwa's voice and his footsteps that he's returned. your eyelids fluttered open just as he was brushing your hair out of your face.

"have some." you took the cup from him, drinking a few gulps. his eyes never wavered as he placed the cup down, sitting beside you. you struggled to formulate an excuse to leave, but he interrupts your actions with a promise, "whatever you have in your heart, we can talk about that later. no one should have to endure so much pressure on their own."

seonghwa lets his sentence sink in, and when you squeezed his hand, he got all the confirmation he needed. he adjusts himself so that you could lay your head in his lap and instantly, exhaustion hit you. you started to fall asleep, your mind shutting off and your body relaxing completely in his presence.

the world was quiet now.

"rest. i'm here."

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

"i worry for you."

↖ navigation: ateez masterlist || main masterlist 

pairing: mafia! seonghwa x bodyguard/ assistant! gn reader

↬ tags: MATZ being mafia leaders, reader using work as a coping mechanism, mentions of hongjoong once or twice (i'm not really keeping track), not much references of killing/ mafia activities (i think i kept it quite pg!!)

summary: unhealthy coping mechanisms aside, seonghwa wishes you would confide in him first [heads up! seonghwa's thoughts in bold, readers thoughts in italics]

word count: 1,218 words

a/n: this is the most i've ever written in one go (it seems to me my speciality is writing under 1k words because less words = more attention given imo),, i was considering to make this a two part post, but ultimately decided against it // the evil part of me wants to involve hongjoong and make it a love triangle--should i do it?

background:

MATZ is an infamous mafia organization run by good friends seonghwa and hongjoong. seonghwa, the brains of the duo is stoic and serious, yet readily supports behind the scenes with logistical planning and meetings. whereas hongjoong, the brawns of the duo is the person at the forefront of many projects, resorting to force when forceful diplomacy doesn't work.

you were someone they found by chance in a dingy alleyway, a tenacious person struggling to make ends meet. under their care, you've been trained as a bodyguard to protect the both of them.

with the many years of excellent service provided them, you were recognized as a highly treasured employee and have been assisting them in many various way, to the extend the two of them trust you with many organizational secrets.

[again, seonghwa's thoughts in bold, readers thoughts in italics!!]

"i see that you have completed my assignment well."

seonghwa spins around in his chair to face you. his gaze lingers on you and you lowered your head, greeting him. this office was a place you frequented to receive your duties, and this one wasn't any different.

your mind drifted to your next agenda, mentally ticking off the various to-do's for the duo. you had just come back from a week long commission and you were to "strung up" to really want to take an off day. you're good, surely, to jump into the next one

seonghwa clears his throat and you replied, a tad bit flustered that you were daydreaming.

"of course. you can trust me."

he gave a curt nod in response, before pushing a manila envelope across his desk towards you. seonghwa watched as you took a step closer to him. reaching out, you swiftly picked up the package, weighing it in your hands. opening the envelope, you sifted through the papers, eyes scanning the documents briefly before slotting them back.

he gave you a moment to set it aside, then spoke levelly, "this is your next assignment." you tucked the package under your arm and bowed, "i understand. i will get right to it." you quickly headed for the door but seonghwa immediately calls out your name, causing you to halt in your steps.

"is there anything i can do for you?" you queried, turning back around to look at him. seonghwa paused, his words full of gentleness as he asked, "have you been okay? truthfully, please, tell me."

he heard the most recent commission was grueling (he had eyes and ears everywhere, even on you), and every time you came back to report something, security had found you crouched outside his door, hyperventilating. that broke his heart, knowing that he had to hear this from an outsider instead of personally from you; even worse that you put up such a front before him, he couldn't get through that wall.

you froze on the spot, taken aback by his question. sincerity coated his words and you find yourself faltering, the carefully pieced together front crumbling.

"i-i'm fine." you held onto the envelope tighter, willing him to just drop the conversation altogether and let you leave. leave and burrow yourself into the next assignment, bottling up everything at the back of your mind.

"i worry for you. i know that you're really excellent at what you do, but these days all i've seen is this...invisible weight you're...carrying around with you." seonghwa stands to his feet and walks towards you.

he's holding back from swooping you into his arms: as a powerful mafia, he should be able to do that, but when it came to you, all coherent thoughts went out the window.

you internally cursed at how you've been read like an open book by him. "there's nothing you need to worry about." you mumbled, reassuring yourself more than him. seonghwa reaches out for you, and you let him hold your forearm.

out of compassion or pity, you didn't know.

his expression softens at your acceptance, "it is my responsibility to care for those working with me, physically and mentally. you, especially. you're not alone, you know that right?"

for some reason, his words rooted deep in your heart and you felt your heart split into two, holding back unshed tears.

you haven't been completely honest with him, yet you somehow have the feeling he knows too. you continue to hang your head, hoping that he hadn't notice the tears forming rapidly.

seonghwa seemed to notice this and he exhales, pulling you into his embrace. you didn't have time to protest against his actions as he holds you close to him, arms wrapped protectively around you.

you were instantly transported back in time to when you were hanging on to any semblance of hope by a thread--a measly fighter in the streets--when seonghwa and hongjoong approached you and offered this job in return.

seonghwa's body is so close to yours that he can hear your erratic heartbeat and hidden sobs. you felt his lips next to your ear, his voice so low that it is barely audible.

"you're safe now. let your tears out if you need to." seonghwa soothes you, his hands stroking your back as if placating a child. you trembled in his arms, more tears escaping you inevitably. you didn't trust yourself to say anything, so you clung on to him tighter, overwhelmed by all the things you've tried to shoulder alone.

seonghwa rubs your back to ease your mind. he whispers and his voice is comforting, "it is okay to cry. i'm here."

and so you did--much like a baby. after a while, when all of the tears left you rather tired, you pulled away from his embrace.

you instantly missed the sound of his heartbeat right next your ear.

he wipes the stray tears with his thumb and you felt a wave of embarrassment flood you.

"i'm sorry for that. i should have..."

"there's nothing to apologize for. if anything, i should have noticed when you started taking commission after commission without any breaks. i should have realized something was bothering you." seonghwa shoots you a wry smile, apology written in his dark eyes.

wordlessly, seonghwa leads you to the lounge sofa away from his desk and sits you down, grabbing his quilt nearby and draped it over your shoulders. he knelt beside you, eyes never breaking contact. despite his cold front, his warmth says otherwise and that never fails to surprise you.

as he stood up, he felt you gingerly grasp onto his wrist, preventing him from walking away. your eyes were pleading him to stay, full of raw vulnerability; he almost wished he had got you to confide in him earlier.

"i'm just going to grab some water for you. i'll be back." seonghwa tucks the quilt tighter around you and tenderly pushes you back to rest on his sofa. he strides quickly out of the room and you slowly shut your eyes.

you knew he was a meticulous person, but seeing him being this soft-spoken unlike his usual stoic self felt like another barrier between you two has dissolved.

you felt like...now you could afford to be vulnerable. in front of him, at least.

suddenly, the room dimmed down considerably. you could tell by the sound of seonghwa's voice and his footsteps that he's returned. your eyelids fluttered open just as he was brushing your hair out of your face.

"have some." you took the cup from him, drinking a few gulps. his eyes never wavered as he placed the cup down, sitting beside you. you struggled to formulate an excuse to leave, but he interrupts your actions with a promise, "whatever you have in your heart, we can talk about that later. no one should have to endure so much pressure on their own."

seonghwa lets his sentence sink in, and when you squeezed his hand, he got all the confirmation he needed. he adjusts himself so that you could lay your head in his lap and instantly, exhaustion hit you. you started to fall asleep, your mind shutting off and your body relaxing completely in his presence.

the world was quiet now.

"rest. i'm here."

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

his arms, your comfort

↖ navigation: ateez masterlist || main masterlist 

pairing: bf! ateez x gn! reader

↬ tags: established relationship!, trying something else this post ^^, feel-good vibes always, very self-indulgent because i want hugs too <3

summary: short blurbs of hugging scenarios with them

word count: 397 words

ᯓ★ kim hongjoong

he feels your presence in the room and raised his gaze to meet yours. as soon as you approach him with tired eyes and opened arms, he mirrors your actions and you speed up towards him. he easily brings you unto his embrace and holds you tight, just the way you like it.

ᯓ★ park seonghwa

he comes home and without hesitating, he seeks you first. he drops his bag and kicks off his shoes by the door. he finds you half-asleep on the sofa waiting for him, and immediately lifts the comforter off you, earning him a soft whine. he slots himself in your arms and contentedly sighs, drifting off to sleep.

ᯓ★jung yunho

when his hands land on your arms, he is quick to pull you in and slow to let you go. arms going around your shoulders and your waist, his bigger frame soothes your frazzled mind, acting like a weighted blanket. he loves when you completely relax under his touch and ministrations, fighting back the urge to coo at you.

ᯓ★ kang yeosang

not the biggest fan of physical affection, but is somehow the one who enjoys it the most between the two of you. he won't ever admit it: he feels loved and appreciated when you hug him and comb your hands through his hair. definitely the type to play it cool when in actuality he's so down for cuddles.

ᯓ★ song mingi

with him, hugs are the first and the last highlights of the day. he starts the day charging up by sleepily hugging you, his heavy arms draped around your middle which prevented you from getting up. by the end of the day, he finds solace in you, laying his tired self atop you and falling asleep to the sound of your gentle breathing.

ᯓ★ jung wooyoung

this man is naturally clingy, he would not let you go. acts mock-hurt if you decide to leave his (very warm and comfortable) embrace. despite his silly antics, he can be quite the serious (and devoted) hugger. he holds you like you're his everything, as if you would disappear (you won't but wooyoung likes to be dramatic).

ᯓ★ choi san

somehow he knows when you need the hug before you do. he is attuned to your emotions, so the moment your voice comes through the phone call, he interrupts you: telling you to come home ASAP so he can give you that hug. his hold is not tight, yet it encompasses you so that you can feel that he is hear with you, grounding you.

ᯓ★ choi jongho

dare you say, hugging jongho feels like you're hugging a teddy bear. he finds it funny that you delight so much in just holding him. reciprocates your big bear hugs all the time, making sure to hold you tight to the extend you're laughing and smacking him to let you go. his hugs definitely recharge you when you need it the most

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work , likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

THE WATERFALL … mature one - shot

pairing : dragon!seonghwa x witch!f!reader (background poly dragon ateez)

genre : dragon au, fantasy, smut

word count : 1.9k

warnings : language, mating / concept of mating, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink, pet names (love, little witch, princess), marking

note : just something short while i write a longer piece lol also i miss this au and needed to do something with dragon!hwa. suffer with @sanjoongie everyone

seonghwa takes you to a secret place within the land of the clan and you experience something different with the eldest prince.

"watch your step," seonghwa says as he leads you through the dense forest. you note how warm his hand is around yours and you've come to the conclusion that all dragons are made to feel warm.

"will you tell me where we're going?" you ask softly, once you step over a large tree root and down some rocky sides. you note the sound of water and wonder if there is a river nearby.

"its a surprise," he says turning to look at you with a wide grin, and you hold back wanting to roll your eyes at him.

ever since you had saved seonghwa from the dragon hunters and came back to clan, you and him have grown significantly closer. you notice that this is much to the dismay of some of the other princes; however, to yeosang and mingi they were to delighted to see the two of you together.

"if we take too long, wooyoung might come look for us," you tease and seonghwa hums in reply before speaking.

"then let him come find us. i'm sure he'll enjoy what i have planned," he says, a smirk overtaking his features. you felt your heart skip a beat at his words as you felt a chill run down your spine. "we are close, close your eyes for me."

"how do i know you won't leave me here?" you question and originally it was meant to be a joke; however, you are quick to dismiss it once you notice seonghwa's face fall. "i-i was just–

"i won't leave you, ever. i promise on my life, y/n," he says as he stands facing you as he takes both of your hands in his own. "do you trust me?"

that's the big question. if he had asked you that when you first arrived at the clan, you would have said no, but now? did you trust him?

"i do trust you," you answer, licking your lips as you look him in the eyes.

"then close your eyes, my little witch," he says and you nod before doing as he says as you allow him to guide you through more of the forest. the sounds of water getting louder and louder.

you fell seonghwa move around to behind you, his body pressing flush against your backside and you can't help but a blush run over you due to the closeness. his breath is hot against your ear as his hands settle on your waist.

"okay, open them," he says and you are immediately greeted by the sight of a beautiful waterfall in front of you.

"wow," you say, taking in the sight before you.

"this waterfall is a secret place within the clan. only the head of the clan and his mates know about it," seonghwa explains and you suddenly can't help the cold rush roll over you at his words.

but you and hongjoong aren't mates. the prince still refuses to acknowledge you as his mate's mate and here seonghwa is showing you something that only hongjoong and his mates know of?

"p-prince seonghwa," you say turning around, eyes wide. "are you... are you sure we should be here? what if prince hongjoong–

"don't be scared of hongjoong," he says and you feel flabbergasted by his words. don't be scared of hongjoong? impossible.

seonghwa seems to notice the fear in your eyes, "whether he wants to admit it or not, you are our mate. his mate and he will eventually accept it. if it makes you feel better then just know that i asked if i could bring you here."

"and he said yes?"

"well... not originally, but i can be persuasive when i need to be," he says giving you week and you feel a blush rush to your face again when you realize what he means.

"i still feel like i'm invading in his space," you confess and seonghwa let out a hum at your words before he taking a few steps away from you and towards the water.

"well it can't be helped if you feel that, but since we are here... why don't you help me bath?" he says turning to look at you as he slowly begins to undress himself. "what do you say, princess, come help me?"

the water is cold when you first step into it. you let out a gasp at the coldness before you will yourself to take more steps into it. seonghwa's bare back is facing you after having asked him to turn around until you were in the water. you noticed how hard he was trying to remain still, his fist clenched tightly by his sides.

"i guess i should have warned you about the water, but dragon's don't necessarily feel the cold like humans do," he says as he roles his shoulders.

"its okay, i'm use to it with wooyoung," you tell him before your submerging your whole body and swimming further into the lake. "you can turn around now," you say and seonghwa waste no time in doing so and he spins so fast that you're worried he might give himself whiplash from it.

seonghwa waste no time in undressing and stepping into the water and you have to look away because of how carefree he is in the moment. as much as you would like to have looked at him in his full glory, you weren't mated yet and you couldn't help but feel like a perv if you did look at him.

seonghwa swims over to you and you allow him to pull you in close to him. your bodies flushed against each other and you have to suppress the moan that threatens to escape when your nipples rub against his chest. his other hand runs down your spine before tracing over the curve of your ass before he's lifting your leg to hook around his waist.

"prince seonghwa..." you say trailing off as you two make eye contact.

"call me seonghwa," he says as he rests his forehead against your own and when he moves, his lips just very so slightly brush over yours. "will you let me love you, princess? let me mate with you and fill you up?"

you felt your heart skip a beat at his words, like it was back when you and wooyoung had mated for the first time all over again.

"yes, please," you say and the dragon smiles before he's pressing his lips to yours in a heated kiss. you're quick to wrap your arms around his neck as your other leg came up to rest around his waist as well.

you felt your body stick his own thanks to the water. you couldn't help but moan when seonghwa begins to roll his hips, his cock rubbing between your folds and just barely missing your entrance. seonghwa pulls away from your lips in order his trail his own down your jaw and neck. his tongue pressing against wooyoung's and yeosang's marks before he's trailing down your chest.

"ah, seonghwa!" you cry out as you feel him sheath himself inside of you, filling you up like how wooyoung and yeosang have done so many times before the eldest dragon.

"f-fuck," he moans as you clench around him before he begins to move his hips. the water around the two of you moves in small waves and it reminds you of when wooyoung and you would take baths together back at your cottage. the way too small bathtub just barely being able to fit the two of you as wooyoung's wandering hands make you sit on his cock and by the end of the bath, the water would be cold and half of it would be out of the tub and in the floor.

however, this is different. seonghwa holds you close to him as he rocks his hips and the tip of his cock repeatedly hitting your sweet spot over and over again.

"h-hwa," you moan as you feel your head fall backwards, but seonghwa stops you from fulling submerging your head under the water. he presses his lips to your left shoulder and presses a strong kiss to it before you him nibble at your skin. you run your hands down his back, your nail probably leaving a trail of red lines. you can't help but hope that one of the others will notice and know what you and seonghwa did together.

"can i mark you, princess? make you my mate like yeosangie and wooyoung have?"

"yes, yes, yes! please!" you say when he picks up the speed of his thrust and even the water doesn't seem to pose an issue to his ministrations. you let out a loud cry when you felt seonghwa bite down on your shoulder, his teeth sinking into your skin and marking you as one of his mates.

you feel seonghwa moan into your skin before he's pulling away slightly in order to lick at the wound. you feel a mixture of pleasure and pain coursing through your body. pain from your left shoulder and pleasure from seonghwa continuing to abuse your pussy.

you can't help but feel a mixture of emotions crash over you in waves. not only the pleasure and pain, but over just an overwhelming sense of joy and comfort. joy because of how happy you are to be with seonghwa in this moment, to know that you're relationship has changed and grew so much, but the comfort.

the comfort was what made tears well up in your eyes. knowing that seonghwa finally accepted you as a mate, accepted you as a part of the clan and a part of himself. you couldn't help but let out a small sob rip through you.

"y/n?" seonghwa's voice crashes through your thoughts and he's looking at you with wide, concern eyes. "what's wrong, love? did i hurt you?"

"no," you say with a smile, tears running down your face as you, "i'm just happy," you add on as the eldest dragon prince leans his forehead against your own. "thank you, seonghwa."

"don't thank me. if anything i should be the one thanking you for giving me a chance," he says with a soft smile, you note how his thrust have slowed down a little bit, but not completely stoped. the two of you share another kiss before seonghwa is doing one last thrust into you before you're clenching around him and cumming.

he groans into your lips before he doing several more thrust and then stilling inside of you. his cum painting the inside of your walls white and you can't help but clench even more in an attempt to keep all of him inside of you.

"if you keep clenching around me, princess, i might not be able to pull out," he teases as he trails his lips down your body. he begins to slowly move backwards in the water and the air around you sending goosebumps over your body.

seonghwa grins when he notices and pulls you close to him once you both are out of the water. he sets you done on the ground, back against a large rock that was near the edge of the water before he's hovering over you.

"want to go another round?" he asks, smirk gracing his lips and you can't help but laugh at him. you open your mouth to answer but the sound of someone else stops you.

"hey! what are you two doing? seonghwa, you bastard, you better not be hurting my mate!" wooyoung's voice is loud as he comes crashing through the tree line. seonghwa seems surprised by how wooyoung was able to find you both, but you don't seem phased by it.

"i told you, he would come look for us if we were gone for too long."

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UNBREAKABLE GLASS, BREAKABLE HEART ... drabble

YOU ARE MY UNIVERSE | CALMING DAYS | SWEET HOME

pairing : san x f!reader (background poly ateez)

genre : non-idol au, hurt / comfort, established relationship

warnings : langauge, being forgotten, some crying

suffer with me tag : @sanjoongie

in the rush of the moment, the boys forget something important on their way to their vacation.

you woke up with an odd feeling in your stomach. why this was happening, you weren't sure. but you opted to push to the side as you got out of bed and made your way to the kitchen.

and then it hit you that the apartment you shared with eight other people – your boyfriends – was silent. there wasn't another soul in sight nor could you hear anyone but your own breathing.

where were they?

then you had a second realization that today you all were suppose to travel to the beach for a small vacation. san had been begging for you all to take a trip together. telling hongjoong and seonghwa that it had been years since they last went on one.

"we need to go on one now that y/n has officially moved in," that was what finally made hongjoong and seonghwa agree. the two eldest thinking it would be a good idea to go on vacation with you.

yet here you were sitting on the couch by yourself, alone. you didn't want to admit it, but was obvious they had forgotten you. you tried to bite back the tears that threatened to spill. it just an accident, you think to yourself, they didn't mean to forget you.

you reach for your phone, wanting to check to see if they messaged you, but only the black screen of your phone stared at you. dead. that explains why your alarm didn't go off this morning.

"oh? who had gummy bears?" seonghwa asks as he brings out the pack of gummy bears that was in their travel snack bag. seonghwa turned to look at his lovers who all looked at him in equal confusion. that is until wooyoung spoke up from the back.

"oh! those of y/nnie's! she loves those gummy bears!"

"isn't y/n in the other car though?" yunho asks from the driver's seat, looking at his lover through the rearview mirror.

"then why is her snack with us and not with the others?" seonghwa asks, seemingly getting more confused by the second.

that's when realization hit san like a truck, a loud gasp leaving his lips causing the other males in the car to look at him.

"we left y/n at home!"

"WHAT!?" yunho is quick to pull off on to the side of the road. him and seonghwa quickly turn to look at both males in the back. only seconds later does the car hongjoong was driving also pull over.

"what's wrong?" hongjoong asks, confused on why yunho pulled over.

"we have to go home!" san begins, "we forgot y/n!" he says, feeling tears start to brim his eyes at realizing how hurt you must be feeling right now.

"what? but wasn't wooyoung suppose to make sure that everyone was up and ready? she was your buddy wooyoung," jongho says causing everyone to look at the male could looked surprised by the information. in other words... he forgot.

"damnit, wooyoung!" hongjoong says, anger seething through him as he glares at his younger boyfriend.

"i'm sorry! i guess i just got distracted by everything else. and besides, you were the one rushing everyone out the door! you should have noticed she was missing too!" wooyoung says back.

"listen," yeosang begins, "we don't have time to be arguing like this. we all obviously can't go back, so why don't half of us keep going to the beach house, while the other half goes back."

"we'll go back," san says, and no one objects.

"try calling her and let her know you are on your way, okay?" hongjoong says and seonghwa nods before they are all getting back in their respective cars.

"i can't believe you forgot your buddy," san says to wooyoung as they are on their way back to the apartment.

"shut up! i already feel bad enough as it is," wooyoung says, another wave of guilt rushing over him.

"stop blaming wooyoung," seonghwa says, phone pressed to his ear as he's trying to call you. "we are all to blame for th– ah! baby, are you okay?" seonghwa cuts himself off when he hears you pick up.

"i'm fine," you say, but seonghwa can tell by your tone that you've been crying. the thought makes his heart break.

"listen, baby, we are on our way back to get you okay? we'll be there in about half an hour," he tells you.

"okay," you sound dejected and it makes his stomach twist. this was suppose to be a fun and memorable vacation. one where he would have taken pictures for the scrapbook you got him. it wasn't suppose to have such a heart-breaking start.

"let me talk to her," san says, leaning over and holding his hand out. seonghwa hands him his phone.

"hey pretty," san says greeting you, "are you okay?"

"y-yeah, i'm fine," he hears you take a deep breath, "happy birthday, sannie."

"thank you, baby. remember you told me last night," he says, not being able to fight the smile that appears on his face.

"i know... i just wanted to tell you again," you say, voice falling quieter near the end. "you guys don't have to come back," you say after a moment, "you shouldn't be wasting time coming back to get me. i'm fine by myself."

"yeah, well, we aren't fine knowing you're by yourself. this vacation is for all of us. you included, got it?"

"got it," you say softly.

"i'll see you when we get back," san says and he hears you hum out a small bye before hanging up. san hands the phone back to seonghwa before he's turning to wooyoung. "you better get on the ground and beg for forgiveness when we pick her up."

san is the first one to enter the apartment when they get back. the other three trailing behind him as they step inside. and san doesn't waste any time calling out for you.

the four of them hear your feet padding across the floor and you emerge around the corner. san can't help the blush that covers his face when he takes in how cutely you're dressed. however, before he could say anything, wooyoung is shoving him aside in order to run up to you. the younger male dropping to his knees, arms wrapping around your legs as begins to semi-fake cry.

"y/nnie, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to forget my seat buddy. i love you so much, you know that right?" wooyoung says making you smile at him. you nod your head, running a hand through his hair to comfort him. "but in all fairness, its hongjoong's fault one-hundred percent."

"wooyoung!" seonghwa's voice is stern as he stops wooyoung from trying to pass the blame. you then see him look up at you with soft eyes, "we are all to blame, really. i'm sorry, baby."

"i'm sorry too, i know the others all feel just as bad," yunho says making you give them a sad smile in return.

"can i just... can i just have a hug, please?" all four males don't waste anytime in giving you a group hug. after that, san gives you an extra one while yunho takes your bag and the other three begin to head down to the car.

"i'm sorry we left you, y/n. i don't think i'll ever be able to forgive myself," he tells you, hiding his face in your neck.

"but you came back for me, didn't you?" you say, making san lift his head to look at you.

"yeah, we did," he says before kissing you. when he pulled away, san gave you a smile before linking hands with you and walking down to the car where you join the others.

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YOU ARE MY UNIVERSE … drabble

pairing : seonghwa x f!reader (background poly ateez)

genre : non-idol au, hurt / comfort cause it wouldn’t be a smalls fic without it

warnings : language, feeling a little self conscious in a new relationship, bloody nose, crying

you’re worried seonghwa doesn’t like the gift you made him.

you’re pretty sure seonghwa doesn’t like your present you got him. you say pretty sure because when he opened it, he had a totally different reaction than when he opened one of the other’s gifts.

wide smiles and even a few kisses or hugs if they were in his reach. but for you, he simply looks at it before looking at you with a closed mouth smile and said “thank you” before putting it aside to open hongjoong’s.

his reaction took you off guard but thankfully you managed to hide it until he was fully done with his presents. was your gift really that bad? so bad that he didn’t even want to fully open it.

you knew making a scrapbook was a bad idea, you don’t know why you let your friend tell you otherwise. they probably have a ton of scrapbooks knowing hongjoong, so you making one just meant nothing.

you honestly just want to take the damn thing and runaway. runaway from here and never show your face again. they wouldn’t notice anyways.

once he was done opening gifts, everyone quickly got up and started moving around in order to set up for movie night. of course seonghwa wanted to watch all the star wars movies and so everyone was quick to compile with the birthday boy.

you remained in your seat in fear of being in the way and yeosang was quick to find a seat next to you. his hand resting on your leg and giving it a small squeeze. however, you don’t say anything as your eyes remain on your scrapbook that’s at the bottom of gifts pile.

“does he… does he not like the gift?” you asked yeosang, voice hushed as to not attract anyone else’s attention.

“he does,” is all yeosang says and it doesn’t do a lot to convince you.

honestly you don’t know why you’re beating yourself up over this so much. it’s just a gift. but this is also the first birthday you are celebrating with your new boyfriends, having only just joined the relationship several months ago. you would have been here for yunho’s birthday if you didn’t get sick last minute. so you were worried about getting something seonghwa would like in fear that a bad gift would just make him and the others not want to be with you anymore.

it’s stupid but this is your first relationship and you have no idea what happens.

“honestly, i think he might be tired of scrapbooks,” yeosang says as he stretches a little bit and snapping you out of your thoughts. “hongjoong use to make so many of them. one for each of us, i’m surprised you don’t have one,” he adds and the more he talks, the more self conscious you continue to feel.

did your gift simply just seem like another annoyance to him then? another thing to sit on a bookshelf in their apartment?

sure you might not have as many photos with them as they have with each other. that’s honestly what three years does compared to not even six months. but you had hoped that you could continue to fill it up as you all continued in your relationship.

should you just leave and take your stupid scrapbook with you?

suddenly, you stand up and try to make your way to your bag about to start spouting some excuse on why you need to leave. however, you don’t get far as you trip over something on the floor, falling fast to the floor.

your whole body makes contact with the floor with a hard thud which causes everyone to freeze. you can’t help the embarrassment run through your body as tears well up in your eyes thanks to a mix of embarrassment, pain, and all the other emotions you were feeling before this.

your ears are ringing but you can thankfully hear everyone rushing over to you. yeosang and san being the ones to help you sit up as everyone else hovers around you.

“damnit wooyoung!” you hear hongjoong scold, “i told you not to leave your slippers around, that someone could trip!”

“i’m sorry!” you hear the male say just as seonghwa comes into view, his face full of concern as he reaches out for you.

“fuck, her nose is bleeding, jongho go get some tissues,” seonghwa says as he looks to the youngest before back at you. “are you okay, dove? can you stand up?”

“i- i don’t…” you trail off feeling out of breath as you hold your head in your hands and watch as some blood drips onto the floor. you feel embarrassed for causing such a scene and your tears soon join your blood on the floor.

“oh y/n, why are you crying?” he asks once jongho gives him some tissues and he’s wiping the blood away before holding some to your nose.

“i’m… i’m so sorry for ruining your birthday,” you say, voice sounding sort of comedic if in any other situation.

“you didn’t ruin anything,” hongjoong says as he comes to sit next to you, his hand running up and down your back to calm you down.

“but i got you such a terrible gift and now i got blood on your floor when you all could be watching star wars by now,” you say as more tears pour out and each of the guys feel their hearts clench at how upset you sound about it all.

“that blood is easy to clean up and we’ve seen star wars thousands of times,” seonghwa says as he pulls the tissues away from your nose in order to wipe your tears away. “and your gift isn’t terrible. i was just surprised because no one else has ever given me something so special before aside from joongie. it reminded me of when me and him first started dating and he got me a scrapbook for my birthday too.”

“i could tell seonghwa was trying not to cry,” hongjoong teases as he continues to rub your back.

“i’m sorry my reaction made you think i didn’t like it. i should have shown more appreciation towards you and the gift. i do love it, please don’t think that i hate it,” he says as he cups your face in order to squish your cheeks together cutely. “you’re too pretty to cry, my darling dove. dry your tears,” he says before leaning over to kiss you.

“can someone help me to the bathroom?” you ask quietly, feeling taken aback by seonghwa’s words.

“i’ll help her,” hongjoong says as he helps you stands and walks you to the bathroom, “go ahead and start the movie without us,” he adds.

you take a few minutes to compose yourself. your emotions all swarming around inside your head along with seonghwa words. he liked it? he really liked it? that scrapbook that you were damning only minutes ago, he liked it?

“y/n, are you okay?” hongjoong asks, knocking gently on the door.

“i’m fine,” you say before opening the door and allowing hongjoong to guide you back to the living room where he quickly has you sitting next to seonghwa and wooyoung.

it feels weird sitting here, your usual seat being on the loveseat that you usual share with yeosang or sometimes even by yourself. it’s odd being in hongjoong’s spot next to seonghwa, but the birthday boy happily welcomes you sitting next to him as the first episode of star wars plays, lighting up the otherwise dark living room.

“thank you for the scrapbook, i really do love it and i can’t wait to fill it with memories,” he says taking your hand into his.

“i can’t either, happy birthday seonghwa.”

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