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Give @somebodyllelse some love on their story y’all!!

Courtesy of @/fxllenmercy on TikTok it came up on my fyp. The way I would combust.

Ok so I’m almost finished with this chapter so it should be posted sometime this week and like the preview shows, it’s gon be smutty. I very rarely ever wrote anything of that extent, so please be nice, thank you.

Just a small preview of what I’m writing, it’s getting long enough that not sure if I should make it two parts or one long piece. What do y’all think?

It’s just and he just and I just😍😍

look how look how look how he 🥹

I tried doing this and my knees popped 🥴

(Credit to TikTok owner)

What is that move he does when he gets up?!

What... how... why...

My brain can't process this. 🫠

Thank you so much for waiting on this chapter y’all. Thank you so much for your support, encouragement and I especially wanna say thank you to @thefallennightmare. Her headcanon to inspired me start writing again to begin with. Without any further ado, please enjoy this chapter. 😍

Summary: Noah begins to remember all the important moments and how they shaped his life to be the way it is.

Warnings: Talks of Depression, Smut

The photos I got from Pinterest

Taglist: @thisbicc

Playlists I listened to while writing this chapter: Songs that made me think of Anya and Noah

If you ever wanna become a part of my taglist, send me a message and I'll add onto the list.

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Noah watched as the familiar houses in their neighborhood passed by them, while sitting in the passenger seat. He looked into the rearview mirror and looked at Anya, the new mother glow in her face, it made her look more beautiful to him. 

“How’s Keaton doing darling?”

“He’s sleeping and he looks so handsome. Just like his daddy.” Anya sighed.

“Nah, I think little Keaton is going to be more handsome than Noah.” Nicholas joked.

“Fuck you dude!” Noah laughed, lightly punching his shoulder.

Nicholas turned the corner into the familiar street, about a year into dating, Noah and Anya moved into their own home together. Noah couldn’t stand Anya living in her small micro studio apartment anymore. The neighborhood wasn’t the greatest, so when he dropped her off at her apartment, he made it a secret goal for himself to get her out of that neighborhood, but things happened that changed a few things. If you asked Noah what he expected to do after their tour was over 72 hours ago, becoming a dad and getting engaged was not anywhere in that list of expectations. Well the engagement was expected, but not for another two weeks. They pulled up on their house’s driveway, it was a one story house with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a pool in the backyard. Noah looked at his home and began remembering almost all the moments in time everything that led to this moment.

~ October 20, 2020 ~

“Jolly! Where are you?” Noah yelled. 

He had just come home from the grocery store and was bringing in the groceries for the week. He knew that Folio, Nick, Bryan, and Matt were going to be at the beach just to get away from the house. COVID had taken almost a toll on everyone, no one wanted to be at their shared townhouse all crammed together, so everyone except Jolly, Noah, and Anya agreed to go to the beach. Noah walked through their house and found Jolly and Anya talking in the kitchen.

“Come on Jolly, it’ll be fun!”

“Busfrö, I don’t think Noah, would like the idea of us doing this together. ”

“That's the fun of it, he doesn’t have to know.”

“Alright karaste, it’s a date, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when Noah finds out and gets upset.”

“It’ll be fine, Noah won’t find out. It’ll be between you and me.”

The fuck! Noah thought. He felt his chest tighten, he didn’t realize that Jolly and Anya had gotten that close since she started working for them. Although both him and Anya had been friends since they met, even after the kiss they shared, it seemed that on Anya’s end, it had been a moment of passion and never spoke of it again. On his end, it was not just a moment of passion; he had truly fallen in love with Anya. Noah got to know more about Anya in those 3 months and fell more in love with her before COVID started. He learned things about her like how she was raised by a single mother, she had a 6 year old brother named William or Will for short, her mom married her stepdad when she was 15 and they moved to El Paso, TX about the same time, about a few months after her brother was born. She never mentioned her biological father, but he knew better than to ask, just like him and his non-existent relationship with his father, he figured out very quickly that talking about her father was a sore spot to her and was a topic that should never be brought up. He couldn’t help but feel this rising heat and anger at their conversation. Why was Jolly the one that she chose? He was always there for her. 

Out of everyone, he would gladly claim that he knew Anya the most and knew what she had gone through trying times with COVID being crazy, everyone being forced to stay home and not allowed to travel. He knew that out of everyone, Anya went through the most. She wasn’t comfortable completely leaving her job with Home Depot for something very unpredictable as being a Assistant Tour Manager with Matt, so instead of completely leaving, she went for a 3 month leave of absence with her job, while she figured out being a Tour Manager with Matt. Just as she was getting the hang of everything, they got the call of this virus being spread and practically killing vulnerable people, so it was best to stay home. At the time Anya was still living in her small micro studio apartment, she couldn’t even go back to her old job with Home Depot, because everything was closed. She had to move out of her apartment and live with her aunt and her cousins in Culver City, the neighborhood was nicer, so Noah was at least grateful that she was living in a safer side of Los Angeles. He knew that her options were either to live with her aunt or go back to her parents house in El Paso. Noah knew that as much as Anya loved her parents and baby brother, she could not stand living in that city, he clearly remembered her words.

“I would rather jump off the Golden Gate bridge than ever return to that city again. If it’s not to visit my family, I never want to set foot in that city again.” She said it with such deep intensity that it almost frightened him.

He decided to make his presence known to both of them, but not make it obvious that he heard part of their conversation, he put in his airpods and walked into the kitchen with the groceries. Both Anya and Jolly were sitting at the kitchen table. 

“Hey guys, what’s up?” He said casually. Making sure that his jealousy could not be detected.

“Nothing, Jolly was telling me something funny.” Anya said; he knew she was lying and again he couldn’t help but feel angry again. What was going on between them?

“You guys think you could help me with the groceries in the car?” He asked, choosing to remain calm and collected. 

“I’ll help you.” Anya quickly said. She got up from the table and helped Noah with taking the bags he already got in his arms and putting it on the kitchen table.

“Jolly, do you think you put the groceries away?” She asked with a sweet voice.

“No problem Älskling.” Jolly said.

Again, that tight feeling in Noah’s chest and heat and anger engulfing him. He shouldn’t feel this way, Anya never made any mention of their kiss and it has been a whole year since. He should accept that Anya just wanted to remain friends and that's all their relationship will be, despite knowing full well he wanted more. Anya walked past him and again her intoxicating scent hit him directly in the face, her Lavender scent, all he wanted was to bury himself in her and just have her to himself. He noticed what she was wearing, her favorite black sundress with small floral prints and the front of the dress that was only tied in the front with a corset style lacing, giving her a lift to her breasts and a leg slit. The temperature was still very warm for Los Angeles in October, so the dress made sense to wear, but for Noah that dress torturing him inside and out, he felt himself harden at the way her hips swayed, the way her breast slightly moved up and down when she took a step. The back of her dress exposing her tattoo, a snake slithering up her spine, being entangled in the vines of carnation and snowdrop flowers. He stared at her for so long, that he didn’t realize he never moved to go with her to get the groceries.

“Noah?” Her voice broke him out of his trance. He looked up and looked directly in her eyes.

“Are you coming?”

“Yeah.” 

They both walked out the house and went down the steps to go to the garage. He opened the trunk of the black Camaro, and grabbed half of the remaining grocery bags purposely choosing the heaviest ones, while she grabbed the other half that was definitely lighter. 

“Did we get everything?” She asked.

“Yeah, we got everything.” He answered curtly. He walked past her, practically almost ignoring that she was standing right there. Anya noticed the change in his demeanor, normally he was very kind and loving towards her, but that abrupt change caught her off guard. 

“Okayyyy? The fuck?” She whispered to herself.

She closed and locked the garage door. She followed up the slight hill of steps that led to the front door of the house. Before she could get to the top of the steps, she lost her footing and tripped, her knee scraping on the steps. 

“Fuck!” She hissed in pain. Noah just opened the door and turned around to see that she was down and in pain. The bags she was carrying had spilled all over the porch. He quickly put down the bags he was carrying and rushed to her side. He pulled her up and looked to see her knee was bleeding and blood dripping down her leg. 

“Jolly!” Noah yelled.

“Yeah!” he yelled back.

Jolly came out the front door and took notice of the situation. 

“Shit! Is she okay?”

“I’m fine guys.” Anya said, trying to reassure both of them.

“You’re bleeding.” Noah said sharply. “ Come on, I’ll help you clean up. Jolly, you think you can help clean up?” Noah asked, hoping he said yes so he could be the one to help Anya instead of him. 

“Yeah man, I got you. Go clean her up.” Jolly said. 

“I’m fine, I’ll go clean myself up.” Anya clearly didn’t miss the way he spoke to her when she tried to reassure him that she was fine. She clearly didn’t care for his attitude either and would rather dress her own wound herself, than have him do it if he was going to have a bitchy attitude. Before she could even take one step, Noah lifted her up and carried her bridal style to the guest bathroom and placed her on the sink vanity. Noah looked in the cabinet underneath the sink and found the first aid kit. When he looked up, Anya’s smooth leg was directly in front of him, decorated with tattoos of California Orange Poppies, Texas Bluebonnets, and honeysuckles, the slit in her dress exposing her leg, almost to her hip and her soft skin calling for him to touch, to kiss, to caress, to hold while he buried his face in between her legs. 

Noah shook his head to break his trance and his hair fell in front of his face covering his view. Due to the amount of long haired men in the house, it was no surprise that there was an abundance of hair ties in the house. 

“Pass me a hair tie, please?” He said. 

“Yeah.” Anya said, she reached on the right side of the sink and handed him the hair tie.

“Thank you.” He put the first aid kit on the vanity and took the hair tie and tied his hair up into a low messy bun. He grabbed the first aid kit and opened it, grabbing the antiseptic wipes, a band aid and some gauze. He opened the antiseptic wipe and looked at Anya.

“This is gonna sting, so I’m apologizing in advance.”

Anya nodded and Noah placed the wipe on her knee. Anya gasped. 

“Puta Madre!” Anya gasped and out of reflex, grasped his shoulder. If it wasn’t for her wounded knee and where they were at the moment, it would’ve been a very sensual moment. Her gasps would’ve been out of something different. 

“Sorry.” Noah said. 

He wiped away the blood from her legs with the gauze, his hands lightly caressing her legs. He dumped the used gauze pads in the trash and began to focus on her knee, wiping away the blood, dirt, and grime. With Noah touching her leg, Anya couldn’t help but notice how rough yet soft his hands felt on her. She wanted him so badly and she knew he wanted her just the same, but she didn’t want to risk it. With this job still being new and with everything going on in the world making things very uncertain, Anya still had her job with Home Depot, but again anything could happen. Right now she wanted to keep it professional with Noah, so that in case things didn’t work out she could go back to her old life and walk away from theirs, she didn’t want to mention her kiss with Noah, not wanting to put anything in jeopardy. 

“Alright, almost done.” Noah said softly.

“Thank you.” 

He lightly dabbed some neosporin ointment on her knee, and placed a band aid on her knee. He caressed her leg again, in an effort to keep her touch close to him. 

“Thank you Noah.” 

“It’s nothing.”

She lighty jumped off the vanity and winced when she realized her knee was going to be sore for a couple of days. Noah closed the first aid kit and put it away back underneath the sink. He was beginning to walk away until Anya called out his name. 

“Noah?”

“Yeah?”

“My Tia Yolanda is throwing a celebration for my cousin Stephanie who’s graduating from UCLA next week and I was wondering if you wanted to come to the park celebration as my plus one? If you’re not busy?” She asked.

Noah was surprised at her request, he assumed something like that, she would want to take Jolly instead.

“You don’t want to take Jolly?” He asked before he could stop himself.

“Noah, no offense to Jolly and all, but why would I take him?”

“I heard that! And ouch!” They heard Jolly yell from the kitchen.

“¡Callate Cabron!” Anya yelled back.

Noah let out a chuckle and smiled at Anya and she felt herself internally melt.

“Well, since you’re asking nicely darling. I’ll go.”

Anya smiled, happy that he was calling her darling again, she’ll ask him later why he asked if she wanted to take Jolly and not him. She went up to him and hugged him, Noah wrapped his arms around her back and inhaled that Lavender scent that he loved so much. 

“Well, I have to head out. I have to go in tomorrow at 5am at Home Depot.” 

“Do you want me to take you back to your aunt’s place?” He asked 

“Only if you’re okay with it.” 

“Darling, I got you, anyways I gotta make sure you don’t fall down the steps this time.”

Anya giggled, how could something so simple make Noah melt. 

“Go fuck yourself.” She said laughing with no malice behind her words. 

How about I fuck you in my bed darling? Noah thought. He would never say it out loud, but Noah thought about all the times he had woken up with a hard cock in the morning, because he dreamed of how much he wanted Anya in his bed, in his arms, his hard cock inside of her. How much he practically wanted to fuck her to kingdom come, practically waking up with his cock so hard that he immediately had to take a cold shower in the mornings, fucking his hand and cumming in his hands, dreaming that it was Anya’s pussy he was cumming into instead. Other nights, he dreamed of how he would be married to her, they were having a happy idyllic life and with a baby boy running around their home and he wished he could dream longer and find out more about themselves in this life, but it never happened because he either woke up too early or too late to find out more. 

They walked out the front door and made the drive to her aunt's house in a comfortable silence. The traffic made it a little bit longer, but neither of them were surprised, for Anya it was either be in the bus and take longer or be with Noah in his car and take less time, but be with him.

“I want to thank you for helping me earlier Noah, I know you didn’t have to, but thank you regardless.”  Anya said.

“It was nothing, I hated seeing you there bleeding and I wasn’t about to let that continue.”

“Noah, it was just a scraped knee, it would've been fine.”

“Not to me it wasn’t, what if it got infected.” Noah said, his voice getting higher.

“Ok, fine I’ll give you this one. I guess after working with a bunch of guys, I’m still not used to accepting help from others.” Anya said, especially when said other person was having a bitchy attitude earlier. She kept that thought to herself .

“It’s alright darling.” 

They turned a corner to get off the freeway and turned onto Venice before turning onto Overland. They reached her aunt’s apartment and turned onto the driveway, they stayed together in the car, sitting in a comfortable silence, Anya didn’t want to leave his car and in fact wanted to stay with him, but decided against it, anyways aside from both her jobs, she was planning a surprise birthday party with Jolly for Noah, she knew that Noah didn’t necessarily care for his own birthday, but it was the first time she spent a birthday with him, last year they were on tour and didn’t know each other that much yet. So with much persuasion to Jolly, she was planning a small party with everyone at the house, Jolly immediately warned her that Noah doesn’t like surprises, but Anya decided that’s something he should get used to, especially from her. Anya opened the door and before she left the car, she turned to face Noah and gave him a kiss on his cheek. That act alone surprised him, he turned to look at her and gave her a shocked look, almost as if he was a deer caught in headlights.

“Thank you for earlier Noah, this is why you’re my favorite out of everyone. I’ll see you next week.”  She said, giving him a smile. She closed the door, walked up to the building's entrance and went inside, but not before turning around blowing a kiss to him. 

“God fucking dammit. Even when I want to be mad at her, she makes it impossible.” Noah said to himself. 

He drove off now thinking about what Jolly and Anya were doing together, because if she was comfortable with giving him a kiss on his cheek, then clearly Jolly and her weren’t dating. Right? He was going to find out.

~ A week later; October 27th, 2020 ~ 

The weather had become colder throughout the week and everyone adjusted, for Noah the weather would’ve been perfect if his anxiety wasn’t going through the roof. Noah still hadn’t found out what Jolly and Anya were doing together because everytime he tried to, he would wake to find that Jolly had already left for the day and by the time he came back, he came back empty handed. He tried asking, but the response was just ‘I’m running errands with Anya.’, it irked him to no end. On top of that, today was what Anya liked to call it ‘Carne Asada’ day at her aunt Yolanda’s house in Santa Monica. He was meeting her relatives, he didn’t want to dress too casual, but not too formal either. He decided that he was wearing his black turtleneck shirt with black jeans and a leather jacket, choosing to wear docs. He went downstairs to find that Anya had already arrived at their town house, her outfit similar to his, except her jeans were ripped at the knees and she was wearing chucks not docs. Her choice in clothing made him feel a little more at ease with himself.

“Ok, at least I know that it’s going to be casual.” He said, letting out a small chuckle. 

“Yeah, personally I never know what to wear to these things, so I just wear what makes me comfortable and at this point my family is used to it.” she said.

“Come on, can't keep them waiting.” Noah said

They went and sat inside the car and just as Noah was about to start the car, he was stopped when Anya put her hand on his. 

“Ok first things first, I gotta tell you a few rules.” She said.

Noah's heart began to race.

“When we get there, you gotta say hello to everyone and when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Otherwise in my family you’ll be known as the malcriado.”

“A what?”

“A malcriado, it’s basically what you call a rude person who never learned any manners.”

“Ah okay, anything else?” 

“When it comes to food, other families may say you must eat everything that’s given to you, even if you’re already full. My family however, as long as you just eat a plate, you’ll be fine.”

“Alright, well I’m about to learn how you cook so amazing.” He joked

She slightly narrowed her eyes at him.

“Noah, I’m being serious.”

“I am too, you’re the reason I began to gain weight.”

Anya knew that he wasn’t lying on that front, when she started working for the band, most of the guys were skinny twigs, so Anya started to cook for them in that small kitchen on the tour bus while on that 3 month tour. While they enjoyed and appreciated her cooking, Noah again was the one who always asked for seconds, sometimes even thirds. The guys always thought that he liked her too much and didn’t want to be rude. In truth Noah actually loved her cooking, it was during the lockdown that he realized that if he was going to stay home and eat nothing but homemade food, that it had to be made from Anya’s hands. Whatever she made, he would personally buy the ingredients, so it was no surprise to him that he began to gain weight, he realized the saying was true, ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’

“I’m sorry for that.”

“Darling, how many times are you going to apologize, anyways whatever weight I gain, I turn it into muscle.”

They both knew he wasn’t lying either, he began to bulk up even more when he joined Ash’s gym. His muscle’s began to be more defined over the past few months, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Anya. Just as he would freeze every time she walked by, her hips swaying in whatever she wore, she would freeze even he walked by too, him wearing shirts that exposed his arms and the muscle that he began to acquire, she’ll never say it out loud, but she wanted nothing more than to sit on his cock and ride him to kingdom come, riding him until he would just cum inside of her. How much she loved when he called her darling. 

“Alright then.”

“Now is there anything else I need to know before we start heading over there.” 

“Not that I can think of.”

“Alright then, let's head out there. Here’s my phone, set the address over to the location.”

Anya took his phone and set up the location to Clover Park in Santa Monica. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t lying about being nervous, this would be the first time her family and Noah would be meeting. They weren’t surprised by his looks, they all knew she had a type and they immediately told her that as long as he made feel happy and safe, then that’s all that mattered to them. It was a 30 minute drive from Studio City to Santa Monica and through the time they kept themselves busy by singing along to the song playing on the radio. Some country, rap and latin pop for Anya, she never believed him, but Noah would always say that she had a good voice, he made another goal for himself to take her into the studio and have her sing and record just one song for him so that she could hear what he heard. 

They reached the park and Anya's hands began to tremble, her anxiety going through the roof. Noah took notice and held her hands, his touch soothing her. 

“You ready?” Anya asked.

“Yeah, I’m ready for anything darling as long as I’m with you.” 

Anya sighed and smiled at him. They left his car and began to walk a small distance to the tables that were for the carne asada. 

“Mija! You made it!” She immediately heard her Aunt Yolanda yell out. She let go of Noah’s hand and went to hug her aunt. She was setting up the table

“Hola Tía, ¿cómo estás?

“Bien Mija, thank you for coming. Now is this the very famous Noah?”

Noah stepped forward to introduce himself and raised his hand to shake her Aunt’s hand, but she surprised him by pulling him in for a hug. 

“Mijo, there’s no need for formalities here. We’re all family here.”

“Thank you ma'am.”

“Call me Tia, mijo.”

Noah couldn’t help but be flattered at the thought of being considered family, even if he wasn’t dating Anya, even though he really wanted to be. 

“Alright ninos, help yourself to some snacks, your Tio Isaac is making the meat, so it’ll be another twenty minutes before the food is ready, go say hi.”

Anya grabbed Noah’s hand and led him to the grill where her uncle, a short man with a slight beer belly, tanned skin, mullet and sporting a mustache, stood next to grill watching the meat cook.

“Hola Tio!”

He turned around and gave the biggest smile.

“Mija, you made it. Thank you for coming!”

“It's nothing Tío. Dónde está Stephanie?”

“She’s playing baseball down the hill. Toma.” He said while passing her a piece of meat to her and Noah.

“Is this the Noah we keep hearing about?”

Noah was now smiling realizing that Anya mentioned him multiple times to her family.

“Si, estes Noah.”

“Hello sir.” Noah said.

“Hola mijo, welcome. Here, try another piece.”  Her uncle said, pulling him in for a hug and patting him on the back before passing him another piece of what was al pastor meat. Noah took the piece and ate it, I could get used to this. He thought. He felt so welcome by just two people already and was beginning to wonder what it would be when others began to arrive. Anya took his hand again and led him down the hill, to the baseball field where her cousin was playing with a little girl. 

“Lucy! Bebe Linda!”

“Tia Ana!” The little girl, no more than 3 years old, yelled out. Her hair in two very messy space buns came running towards Anya, she let go of his hand to catch her, raise her up, and spin her around. Noah’s heart warmed up at the sight, and he couldn’t help but think about his dream with their baby boy running around with Anya chasing after their son.

“Hola, mi bebe linda? Watcha doing?” Anya said in a sing-songy voice.

“Um um playing baseball with mama.”

“I think I’m the one playing more baseball though.” Stephanie came up, stuck out her hand and shook Noah’s hand. “Nice to meet you. I'm Stephanie, Ana doesn’t doesn’t shut up about you.”

Noah turned to look at Anya and she blushed a bright red. Little Lucy playing with her hair. 

“I’m Noah. Wait Ana? I thought your name was Anya?” He asked

“Oh my god. She’s still going by that name?” Stephanie chuckled.

“What name? Anya?”  Noah asked.

“Ok.” Anya sighed. “I hate saying my full name like, because it’s mouth full and if you call me by my full name, I feel like I’m in trouble. Also I really love the movie Anastasia, so I just took that nickname.”

Noah laughed.

“Alright Anastasia.” He laughed.

“Shut up. Don’t call me that.” Anya deadpanned.

Anya frowned and walked off with Lucy in her arms and took her to the swing set to play with her. Stephanie and Noah went to a bench and sat down. 

“Can I say thank you?” Stephanie said.

“For what?” Noah asked, confused.

“For bringing my cousin’s smile back, we grew up together. She told you that right?”

“She mentioned that she grew up with a bunch of cousins.” 

“Makes sense, she likes to be very private on certain things. I haven’t seen my cousin smile like this since she left for Texas when she was 11 and I was 13.”

“What do you mean? I know she doesn’t likeTexas, but I didn’t think she hated it.”

“Oh God, I don’t know where to begin, we constantly video chatted when she first left, it was okay at first, but little by little. Her smile began to disappear, little by little, our calls with each other began to stop, her being out there alone with no one, but her mom took a toll on her.”

Noah’s heart went to his throat at the thought of how alone Anya must’ve been when she was younger.

“She loves her mom, but I’m not going to lie, my aunt is a very strict woman, with high expectations, from her grades, her clothes, her interests, everything had to be approved by her mom. I think it became worse when her brother was born.”

“What? Like abuse?” Noah asked, terrified of hearing that answer.

“Not physically.” Stephanie said. “I will say this right now, she loves and adores her brother, she would gladly die for him, but I feel like she also resents him a little.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not surprising that many cultures prefer boys over girls, Latino culture included. Ana already felt enormous pressure from her mom, but when her brother came along, all of a sudden, it went from having to be good at everything to now having to do that and having to take care of a baby that is not hers.”

“What about her stepdad? Why didn’t he step in?”

“He works here in Los Angeles and goes back to El Paso twice a weekend every month, so..”

“So it was still just her and her mom.”

“I think I remember during a videochat I had with her when she was 16, I remember my aunt saying over the call ‘Here’s your son, go change his diaper, because I can’t be bothered’, I think it was one of those times I saw her look so defeated. ”

“What made her finally move back?” 

“Fafsa.”

“Fafsa?”

“Mhmm, she was applying for out of state colleges just to get away and finally be away from everything, when she got a letter saying that Fafsa wasn’t going to be paying for her classes because her mom made too much money. That alone made her really spiral.”

“She didn’t do anything stupid, did she?” Noah asked, concerned at the thought of Anya doing something reckless. Even if it was before he met her.

“That part is not my story to tell, just only saying what I know from what I've seen. That’s something I think she has to tell you.”

Noah looked at her, confused why Anya’s cousin Stephanie would tell him these things. Sensing his confusion, she spoke up again.

“I only said all of that because I wanted to say thank you, you're the reason my cousin now smiles on the daily. I’m glad she’s dating someone like you.”

“Oh we’re not..” Noah began to say.

“You’re joking right?” She asked incredulously. “I thought you were, she constantly talks about you, I mean she practically never shuts up about you. It’s always ‘Noah this’ and Noah that.”

“I didn’t think she talked about me like that. Let alone like me like that” Noah said. Fully realizing now that Anya doesn’t like Jolly like that. 

“Dude, she’s crazy about you! I don’t underst … ohhhhh.”

“What?”

“I know why.”

“What? What do I need to do?” Noah asked, desperate for any advice on having Anya finally to himself. 

“Right now, everything is unpredictable right? So I can see why she’s being hesitant.”

“Why does the pandemic matter? It shouldn’t matter to us.”

“Because she’s testing the waters, if she doesn’t know what can happen, she won’t take the risk.”

“So she sees dating me as a risk?” 

“Yes and No, Ana doesn’t see dating you as a risk, she sees the situation as a risk, she told me how she has this current with you guys, but the pandemic and lockdown is keeping you guys from fully touring right?”

“Yeah.”

“She doesn’t want to fully commit just yet, because she thinks it can probably fall through and if it falls through then she can just walk away from the job and from you guys.”

At those words, Noah finally understood, but he couldn’t help but wonder why Anya would believe she could just walk away from their lives, especially his. She’s so engraved in his mind, that he could not and would not let her walk away from his life.

“I know her, so you need to show her you’re in this with her as much as she wants to be.” Stephanie said, looking towards Anya. 

Noah looked at her, watching her play with her niece and fully committed to the decision that no matter what happened in life, as long as he had her by his side, he could handle it. Negative or Positive, all he wanted was just her by his side.

“Ninos! Come eat!” 

Noah and Stephanie stood up from the bench they were sitting on.

“Ana! Lucy linda! Dinner time!”

Anya picked up Lucy from the swing set and carried her to the picnic table.

“Was anyone else planning on coming?” Anya asked.

“Not really, which is understandable. The only people I really wanted here were my parents, mi hija and my favorite cousin.”

“What about Lucy’s dad?”

“He wished he could've come, but his job called him back early. He did send a ramo buchon this morning, along with a diamond tennis bracelet. Lucy immediately took the tiara that came from the buchon.” 

“Damn.”

“What’s a ramo buchon?” Noah asked

“Think of a rose bouquet, but bigger and a little more extravagant.” Anya explained. Her uncle gave her a plate of food. 

Stephanie pulled out her phone and showed Noah a photo.

“Goddamn! Shi–” He was ready to curse, until he remembered that Lucy was present. 

“Alrighty. So what did you guys talk about? Don’t think I didn’t notice.” Anya asked, giving a suspicious look to her cousin.

“Nothing.” Noah said, sitting down at the table.

“Oh God, don’t tell me she was telling you my embarrassing childhood stories.” Anya groaned., sitting next to Noah. 

“Hey, you killed my family of pet goldfish.”

“It was an accident!” Anya said, putting Lucy in the booster seat so she could reach the table. 

“Wait what? You killed her fishes?” Noah asked, but ready to laugh at the same time.

“If you go to her parents house, you’ll find evidence of a soccer ball being kicked to the wall multiple times.” Anya said sheepishly.

“What happened?” Noah asked, a plate of food being set down in front of him. The plate consisted of rice, refried beans, 3 al pastor tacos, and extra arrachera meat on the side.

“Uhhhhh.”

“Go on Anya, tell him.” Stephanie said teasingly, sitting next to Lucy. 

“I may have kicked the ball too hard one day in the house, it bounced from the wall to the tank. Breaking it and the poor fish falling to the floor.”

Noah began to laugh, putting his hand on her knee. His touch still feeling very electrical to Anya.

“But if I recall correctly. You cut my hair in my sleep after that.”

Noah began to laugh

“Ohhhhh … yeah. Listen carefully mija, revenge is very bad, so never do it.” Stephanie said to Lucy. Lucy nodded after she took a bite from her smaller portion of food, but you couldn’t be certain if she was nodding because of the food or because of what her mom said.

“Speak for yourself, I started 3rd grade with a buzzcut and by the time 3rd grade was over I had the Dora the Explorer haircut.”

Noah laughed even harder at the situation. If this was just a small portion of what being around her relatives is like, then he wondered what it would be like being around the rest of her relatives. 

The day passed and eventually Anya and Noah left the picnic, helping clean and pack the remaining food, her aunt and uncle insisted they take some leftovers back with them. They ended up taking back with them 10 tupperwares worth of food. They got back to the house and the rest of the guys quickly dug into the food.

“Good God, now we know where you get your cooking skills.” Bryan said immediately, stuffing his face with a piece of arrachera meat.

“Nah, for real. Next time you fucks better invite me so I enjoy this when it’s fresh off the grill.” Matt said

“Whatever anyone does, make sure Anya never quits working for us, because I plan on eating this food for the rest of my life! Damn! Nick and Folio are missing out!” Jolly said.

“Oh I’ll make sure to plan on her never leaving us.” Noah said, wrapping his arm around Anya’s shoulder. 

“I agree with Jolly, she’s the greatest assistant I’ve ever had and if anyone fucking ruins what we have. I. WILL. FUCKING. KILL. YOU. ALL.” Matt threatened everyone.

The guys began to continue enjoying the rest of the food. Noah grabbed Anya’s leaned closer and whispered in her ear.

“Come with me to my room?” He asked nervously.

Anya didn’t say anything, but nodded at his request. He led up the stairs and down the hall to his room. She entered his room and he followed after and locked the door. He moved in front of her and sat on his bed. The only light in the room coming from the led lights on his bed. 

“God, you’re so beautiful.” He said with an exhale. 

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, Noah.”

“Darling, I’ve told this over and over and yet you still never believe me.” He said, putting his hands on her hips and pulled her closer to him. Putting her between his legs.

“I’m not used to hearing things like that, Noah. I wasn’t the most beautiful growing up, I’ve only had one boyfriend and even then he still cheated.”

“Hmmm.”

He raised his hands and pulled off the leather jacket that Anya was wearing, leaving her in her turtleneck shirt and jeans, her shoes left by the front door, since the boys don’t like wearing shoes in the house. 

“Do you want to know what me and your cousin were talking about earlier today?”

Anya tensed a little.

“Oh God. What did she say?”

“Nothing bad. Just a little more about you, things I already know. Finally I realized something important. Why did you never tell me how lonely your childhood was?”

She began to take a step back when Noah stopped her by standing up and wrapping an arm around her waist, bringing her back close to him.

“Noah, you left home at 15 years old, going from couch to couch in friends homes. If anything, you had a worse life than me.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Why does it matter how lonely my childhood was?”

“Because, I want to know you, Anya. Everything about you. I want to know why you think working for us will fall through and why you think you can walk away from us. From me”

That last was said so quietly, that she almost missed it.  

“Everything is scary right now Noah, people are still dying from this disease. I barely got back to work at Home Depot. Can you really blame me?”

“I promise that you won’t lose this job. You’ll always have a job with us Anya. If not then I’ll take care of you.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“You’re not asking, I’m telling you, I’m promising this to you Anya.”

“Noah…”

Noah stopped her by leaning forward, putting his face to her neck and inhaled her scent. 

“Lavender.” He whispered.

“What?”

“Your scent, it drives me wild, from the moment we met in that meet and greet, your lavender scent has driven me crazy.”  

Anya gripped the sides of his shirt, her breathing getting heavier.

“You drive me crazy Anya. I wanted you from the moment we met, but I fell in love when you cried in my arms the night we met and it’s only gotten stronger since. I can’t let you walk away, not without at least knowing how I feel.” He said.

“I don’t want to walk away anymore.” Anya whispered. 

Anya looked at him in the eyes, his eyes showing so much affection, adoration, and love. Something she only saw when her stepdad looked at her mom, she thought back and realized all those moments Noah would stare at her from time to time, his gazing a little too long and a little too hard.

“I’ve always wanted you to be near me, with me, in me Noah.” Anya confessed.

At her words Anya felt him harden through his jeans.

“Fuck!” He whispered. “Do you know how badly I’ve always wanted you? How many times I’ve cummed thinking of you?”

Anya lifted his shirt and pulled it off. She kissed his chest, Noah unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down, leaving a couple of kisses down her legs, something he desperately wanted to do the week before. Anya returned the favor by helping him out of his jeans, palming his hard cock, making Noah hiss in pleasure. 

“You’re still wearing too much.” He said, gesturing to her turtleneck shirt.

He lifted the shirt and freed her from her shirt, tossing the shirt somewhere in his room. His breath caught in his throat when he realized Anya wasn’t wearing a bra and was just in her panties. 

“You’ve been like this the whole day?” Noah asked. He stepped closer to her and looked at her. Anya knew what he was asking, took his hand and placed it on her breast. 

“No one noticed.” She sighed, his thumb slowly caressing her nipple. 

“Fucking hell, Anya.”

Anya slightly pushed him and he landed on his bed, she stepped closer and placed herself to straddle him. She looked him deeply into his eyes and said the words she wanted to say for so long.

“I love you.”

Noah looked back into her eyes in awe, he cupped her cheek and gave her a deep kiss. He leaned back, pulling Anya with him and began to make out, his hands moving to her ass and giving a hard squeeze. Anya moaned into their kiss and began to grind into his hips, his cock almost touching her pussy, her pussy soaking her panties. Noah stopped kissing her to take a breath.

“I love you so much.” Noah said.

He flipped them over so that Anya was now the one laying on his bed, he began to pull off Anya’s soaked panties and looked at the sight in front of him, her glistening pussy illuminated by his headboard lights. He lowered himself to his knees and began to kiss up her legs, leaving a trail of love bites. He reached her pussy and inhaled before beginning to eat her out. The feeling making her moan out loud, Noah ate her as if his life depended on it. To keep her close to him, he wrapped his arms around her legs and gripped them tightly. His nose touching her clit, making the experience more pleasing for Anya, she gripped his hair and pulled him closer. Noah groaned and the feeling sent a jolt up her body. 

“Noah, Noah, more please more!” She moaned. 

She looked down at him and watched as he ate her out, wanting to see his face, she pulled his hair and made him look at her, his nose, mouth and chin wet from her arousal. She pulled him  back to her and kissed him, tasting herself on his lips.

“I wasn’t finished eating.” Noah groaned. 

“You can finish later, right now. Right now I just need your cock inside me.” Anya said.

She flipped them around, straddling him again and moved her hands to his underwear and pulled them down, Noah kicking them somewhere across the room. His cock freed from his underwear, Anya wrapped her hand around his cock and pumped him before putting him in her mouth and sucked his cock.

“Oh fuck!” Noah moaned.

Anya sucked him off, licking the slit of his cock. Noah placed his hands on the back of her head pushed down on him, almost making her gag. She looked at him, giving him a loving glare. She moved back up and lined herself up with him and slowly sank onto his cock, both of them groaning at the feeling of their bodies becoming one. Anya began to slowly ride him, wanting the feeling to never go away, Noah wanting to feel more of her put his hands on her hips in an effort to control the pace. 

“You feel so good.” Anya moaned.

“You’re so much better than I dreamed.” Noah groaned. 

Anya’s pace faltered at that confession. Noah dreamed of her and has wanted her for so long, that she couldn’t help the smile that graced her face. He’s always wanted as much as she wanted him. She leaned forward and kissed him passionately, Noah returning the kiss with as much passion. 

Noah pulled her off of him and Anya groaned at the loss of him, until she realized that Noah positioned her so that he was on top of her. He moved in between her legs and lowered himself into again, thrusting with such gentleness, that she could’ve sworn she was in heaven. She looked into his eyes with such love and touched his forehead with hers.

“Mi Buen Amor.” She whispered.

“Amor.” He whispered.

“My…”

Thrust.

“Darling…”

Thrust.

“Anastasia…”

Thrust.

“My…”

Thrust.

“Heart…”

Thrust.

“My…”

Thrust.

“World…”

Thrust.

“My…”

Thrust.

“Love…”

Noah’s pace began faltering, he was cumming and he knew it. Anya could feel him getting close as well and wanted to cum with him, so she moved her hand in between their bodies and began to rub her clit. The feeling being so perfect she began to cum shortly after she started and in turn her orgasm squeezing Noah’s cock making him cum inside of her. The feeling of Noah’s hot cum inside made her moan loudly. Noah rolled off of her to her side, and turned her to face and kissed her again. 

“You’re so beautiful.”

“Te amo mi amor.”

Anya leaned more into embrace and wrapped herself around him.

“Live with me.” Noah said.

“What?”

“Live with me.”

Anya looked up at him in disbelief of what he asked of her.

“Noah, you can’t be serious.”

“What?”

“We just finished having sex and now you’re asking me to live with you. We still haven’t established if we’re in a relationship or not.”

“I would’ve hoped that my cum dripping down your legs onto my bed sheets, established that we’re together.”

Anya couldn’t help but rub her legs together at his comment. 

“But what if this doesn’t work out? What if we realize that we didn’t love each other that way we thought we did? What if …”

Noah cut off by kissing her passionately.

“I love you so much Anastasia. I told you already that I don’t plan on going anywhere. As long as I’m by your side, I’m with you no matter what.”

Anya sighed and Noah wondered if she would still say no.

“Alright. I’ll live with you, just don’t embarrass me motherfucker.”

Noah smiled out of pure joy.

“Never darling.” He said, pulling her close.

~ October 31st, 2020 ~

Anya had taken Noah out for his birthday and she took him to Universal Studios for the day and  took him to the Redondo Beach Pier to walk along the pier and watch the sunset, while out during the day she secretly texted Jolly to set up the house for his surprise. They came home afterwards and as Anya began to open the door.

“Close your eyes, mi amor.” She said.

“Why? What did you do darling?” He asked suspiciously.

“Do you trust me?”

“Only because you’re my girlfriend.”

“Such a flirt.”

Noah closed his eyes while Anya opened the door and pulled him inside while guiding him by his hands.

“Ok, open.”

Noah opened his eyes and was met with everyone from the band and Anya’s cousin Stephanie popping their confetti poppers in his face.

“Surprise!!!” Everyone yelled

“What the fuck?”

“Happy Birthday Mi Amor!” Anya said, giving him a kiss. 

The living room was decorated in Naruto birthday decorations. On the table was a cake with a Naruto cake topper inscribed with the words ‘Happy Birthday Noah!’. 

“I hope you like it?” Anya said nervously. “I know you said that you don’t care for birthdays, but this is the first time I’m celebrating with you guys an…”

Noah kissed her to calm down her nerves.

“I loved it darling, thank you. When did you plan this?” 

“I had help from Jolly?”

“Jolly?”

“Man, I’m never planning anything with her again. Finding anything with her was a challenge. ‘No that’s not the right shade of red Jolly!’ ‘This is for Noah’s birthday! It has to be perfect!’” Jolly said, imitating a high pitched  girly voice.

“I don’t speak like that.”

“Eh, you kinda do karaste. Especially when you speak about Noah.” 

“Yeah, you really do. I’ve only seen you go soft when you speak about Noah and when he comes into the room.” Matt agreed. 

“I agree, it was so weird.” Bryan said.

“If you think that was weird, you should see her at home. ‘Oh my god, Noah is just so hot, He so tall and I wanna climb him like squirrel to a tree.’” Stephanie said. 

Anya blushed a deep red while Noah laughed.

“Fuck all y’all.”  Anya said, hugging Noah. 

“She’s perfect for me, so I don’t care if she goes all soft and shit around me.” Noah said.

“Come on, your cake is an Ice Cream cake, so if we don’t cut it now, it’s gonna melt.” Anya said.

Anya moved out of Noah’s grasp and put the candles in his cake to read 25, lit them, she walked over to Noah and held his hand to lead him to the table. The table was filled with food from the day at the picnic, with some desert such as mini fruit tarts in the shape of a 25. 

“My dad was happy to make some food for today and my mom made the fruit tarts.” Stephanie said.

“Tell them I said thank you.” Noah said.

“No problem.”

They spent the night having a small party with drinking games, talking about getting ready for another tour soon. They realized that the pandemic hopefully could come to an end soon and they could go back on tour soon. They had recently started writing their next album with a few songs already being in the works. Noah held on tightly to Anya and didn’t let go of her throughout the night. 

~ October 31st, 2021 ~

Today was the day they were finally moving in together. Many people would've thought moving in together on their own to their own apartment was fine, but both Anya and Noah surprised everyone by telling them that they had bought a house together and they were now living in their own home together. Many people questioned their decision, but the only person who didn’t question it and actually helped in finding their home was Stephanie. Many people questioned her life choices, so she understood Anya’s choices and why it felt like Noah and Anya were moving too fast.  After some time, everyone accepted that both Anya and Noah were adults and knew what they’re doing and supported their choices. They decided that they needed their own home together and during the lockdown, someone on the internet thought it was a bright idea to expose certain aspects about the bands personal life, including their address. They only realized when fans began to send them fan mail to their personal address and not through the Sumerian Offices. 

“Mi vida, can you help me with this box?” 

Anya asked, walking into the house, with a box filled with books. Noah wearing a beanie and a hoodie in the warm October heat looked very out of place. 

“I told you to wait until I got the heavy stuff, I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

“I know, but I wanted to help.” 

Noah smiled at her and kissed her, taking the box out of her arms, placing it on the floor. 

“What am I going to do with you?” 

“Absolutely nothing. You love me like this.”

“Damn right.” He said, smacking her ass. “You wanna know why I chose this house out of all the houses we saw?”

“Was it because of the giant mirror in the dining room and the master bedroom?” She teased.

Noah wrapped his arms behind her and had her face the mirror in the kitchen, palming her breasts through her shirt. 

“To see us fucking in front that mirror, watching my cock sink into that glorious pussy of yours.” Noah whispered, kissing her neck. 

“Stop, we have to bring the rest of the stuff inside the house.” Anya moaned, but made no attempt to stop him. Noah snaked his into her sweats, and began to rub her clit while his other hand moved into her pussy and fingered. It’s didn’t take much for her to cum into his hands, Anya turned to face him sank to her knees to free his aching cock from his sweats and wrapped her hands around his cock and began to jerk him off, sometimes taking him in his mouth and since he had just finished getting her off, it didn’t take much for him to cum as well, cumming in her mouth and her swallowing all that he had to give. When all was said and done, Anya realized that he was still wearing his hoodie and beanie and reached to take it off his head, Noah stopped her by reaching for hand. 

“You’ve been wearing the hoodie and beanie all day today. You left very early this morning.”

“I did something today that might shock you.”

“You didn’t kill anyone did you? Do I need to help you hide the body?”

“Firstly, I very firmly believe that with the right motivation you could definitely hide a body, but no I didn’t do anything to that extent. Just don’t be too shocked at what you’re about to see.”

“Noah, you’re scaring me.”

Noah didn’t say anything but removed the hoodie and slowly removed the beanie, exposing his new Levi style haircut. Anya moved her hands to her mouth to cover her shock, his hair, the hair that she first met him in, she had many a time braided his hair for the fun of it and sometimes he had asked her to put his hair in fun styles when they had gone back on tour again when the lockdown was lifted. Anya walked up to him and reached to touch his hair, this length was different, it was new, and she had never seen him with hair this short.

“I figured with us moving into our new home, a new haircut should be thrown into the mix.”

Anya didn’t say anything, but continued to marvel at how short his hair was.

“Do you like it?” He asked nervously.

“I’m going to miss braiding and doing your hair.” Anya whined.

“To be honest, I think I will too, but I think I really needed this to show the change that we’re going through.”

“I love you and I love that you made this bold decision. Next time give me a heads up though.” She joked lightly smacking his shoulder.

“Definitely.” He said into her lips before kissing her again.

~Present Time~

Noah walked over to Anya’s side of the back seat, and carefully helped her out of the car. Nick was quick to get to Anya’s side and held her hand while Noah carefully removed the car seat from the car. They walked over to the house and opened the door, Jolly, Folio, Bryan, and Matt were inside waiting for them.

 “Congratulations!!” They whispered. 

The living room was decorated in ‘It’s a Boy’ decorations, and diapers, wipes, clothes. A small cake decorated with Baby Boy designs. 

“Oh my god! Guys!” Anya cried out. 

“How long did it take you guys to do all of this?” Noah asked.

“We've been working on this since Keaton was born, after we left the hospital. We immediately started making this shit happen when we got back.” Matt explained.

Anya was about to tear up at the gesture, until it dawned on her.

“Wait, how did you get in our house? More importantly, disarm the house?” Anya asked.

“Yeah, how did you guys get in our house?” Noah asked.

“You dumbasses left the keys in the bus, duh?” Matt said.

“That doesn’t explain the disarming of the alarm system.” Noah said.

“We disarmed it from your iPad, next time don’t put Anya’s birthday as your password you shithead.” Jolly said.

“Hey! No cursing in front of my baby and mi amor you’re so lucky I love you, because number one, my birthday? Number two: awww my birthday? Really?” Anya said.

Keaton began to whimper, and Noah was quick to put down the car seat and take out his son. Since Anya had just finished giving him a bottle 30 minutes ago and burped him as well, he couldn’t have been hungry or gassy. Noah checked to see what else it could’ve been and noticed that his diaper was wet. 

“Looks like our son needs his diaper changed, I’ll go change him in our room darling.” Noah said to Anya.

Noah grabbed the diaper bag and just as he was about to head into their room. The boys immediately stopped from going through the hallway.

“We have a surprise for you guys.” Folio said. 

“Come on, let us show you.” Bryan said, all giddy and excited.

Noah carried his son in his arms and looked back to see Anya being slowly walked over with some help by Nick. He waited until Anya was by his side and linked his left arm that was free with Anya’s arm. 

“Let’s see what’s the surprise.” Anya giggled.

They slowly walked to one of the bedroom doors that the guys were waiting for them in front of. 

“Alright guys, close your eyes.” 

“Uh, can’t when he’s holding our son.” Anya said.

“Shit!” Matt said. Anya gave him another look. “Sorry.”

“Alright, Anya, you close your eyes because I think you like this more.” Nick said. Noah and Anya gave him a confused look.

“What, they were giving me updates.” Nick said nonchalantly.

Anya closed her eyes and Folio opened the door to what was once a guest bedroom and was now turned into a nursery for Keaton.

“Open your eyes darling.” Noah whispered, shocked at how amazing this room looked.

Anya opened her eyes and gasped at the sight. The light walls that were once a white color, one side was covered with a map of the hundred-acre wood map. The guest bed was replaced with a crib complete with a mobile of the Winnie the Pooh characters and a baby blanket with baby Winnie the Pooh characters hanging on the side of the crib. On the other side of the blank wall was Keaton’s name spelled out in wooden boards, the colors on his name matching almost each character. A changing table underneath his name, filled with wipes, diapers, and basket that contained everything Noah and Anya could need for their son. A rocking chair was now in the corner with another crocheted blanket in its seat, next to it was a dresser that no doubt filled with an abundance of baby clothes and a cream colored carpet covering the hardwood floors in the room. 

“It’s not much, but we did the best we could.” Bryan said. 

“Oh my god! Thank you so much guys!” Anya said, wiping away small tears forming in her eyes. 

“Really! Thank you so much! We really appreciate this.” Noah said.

“Anything for my godson.” Matt said smugly.

“Excuse me guys, but I believe that I’m this little one’s godfather.” Folio was quick to say.

“Come on, we all know this little guy was meant to be my godson from the moment he decided to make his presence known to us.” Jolly said.

“Jolly, come on. You really think little Keaton would choose you guys? It’s obvious that he’s going to be my godson.” Bryan said. 

“Come on guys, let's not fight now.” Nick said. Everyone looked at him in shock wondering why wasn’t putting in for the Godfather title.

 “I’ve already changed, fed, and burped this little guy. So obviously I’m going to be his Godfather.” Nick said smugly.

Keaton began to cry this time, his wet diaper now became soiled and the smell making its way around to everyone’s noses. Anya smirked.

“Okay, like Nick said. He already helped in changing our son’s diaper already, so he’s exempt, but since all of you want to be Godfather so badly. You’re welcome to change his diaper, keep in mind if you don’t change him right away, he’ll pee on you.” She said.

“Nah, I’m good, I’m out.” Matt said, being the first to leave the room and everyone followed after. Nick being the last to leave and looking at Noah and Anya walking over to the changing table to change Keaton’s diaper, smiling, happy at the thought that his best friend since childhood now had the family he deserved. 

“The beginning of our family, Noah.” Anya sighed. 

“I think that started the night we met, to be honest.” Noah admitted. “We just didn’t know it yet.”

They cleaned up their son and changed his diaper and changed him into a new onesie. A baby blue onesie that said ‘Mommy and Daddy’s greatest surprise.’ They both laughed at the words.

“A little fitting, don’t you think?” Noah said

“Very.”

Anya looked at her son and wondered about something.

“Do you think we could try again for another?” She asked.

“We just had him and you wanna try again?” Noah asked in return. “Is this because since we didn’t know you were pregnant, you feel like you missed out?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I was thinking about this in the hospital. What if we had known? Would anything be different?”

“Of course, they would. For starters, we wouldn’t have been doing all those tours, but not knowing wasn’t our fault. You weren’t showing and on top of your irregular periods, pregnancy wouldn’t be something we would’ve been worried about, so don’t stress yourself over darling. When the time comes, we’ll try and plan for our next baby and the next time we’ll be sure to document everything.” Noah said, comforting Anya and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

“For now let's focus on being this little guy's parents and planning our wedding.” Noah said.

Anya kissed him in return before giving a kiss to her son as well. 

“I love you so much, Noah.” 

“I love you more.”

Noah raised up his son and carefully handed him to Anya’s waiting arms. They slowly walked out of Keaton’s room and prepared to join the rest of the guys in the living room and wait for the arrival of Anya’s relatives to continue a very belated baby shower for them. They weren’t sure what the future held for them, but as long as they were at each other’s side, they were prepared for whatever came their way.

Oh this son of a bitch!!

I need more now!!

hi bestie is it too late to request? you said you liked writing angst, well, i love reading it 💔💔painfully unrequited love!!!!! gimme gimme

friends with benefits with (overly affectionate!!!!) Noah and reader who falls sick to her stomach head over heels in love with him. blurring the lines between sex and love.

going to a bad omens concert however long after and it’s like they’re strangers oOF rip my heart out and stomp on it idc. been listening to Novocaine on a loop all day. i’m not okay

feel to totally disregard if you’re not feeling it angel <33 thank you bby I love your writing 🥺🥺

Angst............. UGH I've been WAITING babes. My goal is to rip your heart out...fair fucking warning. MMMLOVEYOUUUUU. After Writing Notes: I'm the actual worst. I hope you don't hate it!

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: smut, heartbreak, lots and lots of angst

Can You Feel My Heart

Love languages are such a strange concept, aren't they? That seems to be a fairly new idea that someone came up with in the last decade or so?

If you like to buy love...your love language is gifting.

If you can't communicate well...your love language is affection.

If the only way you know how to show feelings is with sex...your love language is intimacy.

At what point are we allowed to call someone out for being a dick? At what point are we allowed to confront the fact that someone is skipping around the idea of commitment, and ask them to just admit what they really want?

This wasn't the first time these thoughts had danced around my head, in the wee hours of the morning, while Noah's arm laid heavy across my waist, him snoozing behind me.

Noah and I had been friends since we were seven years old. We met on the playground at the park in the center of the neighborhood of our small town in West Virginia. He told me he liked my butterfly hair clips, and I let him have the blue one. He wore it in his hair every day for three weeks.

He grew up in a broken home, only his Mom around most of his years, and even then - that relationship was...strained. So many nights he had snuck into my bedroom window, curling up next to me, tears free falling down his cheeks. We never talked about why, but it didn't take a psychic to figure it out.

He moved in with his Grandmother when he was fourteen, and even though he lived in the next town over, he still made it a point to take the city bus to me every day after school, even when he dropped out.

We were never more than twin flames, incapable of existing without each other, moral support for the other during any type of hardship. Looking back, I guess that was what built our serious dependence issues.

"I can't live without you, Y/N. I'll die if I ever lose you."

"No you won't Noah, don't be stupid."

He was stupid. As stupid as they come, because when I turned eighteen, and started college, he had paid one of his friends to drive him all the way up to Columbus to see me. He showed up at the door of my dorm, drunk and broken, blathering on about how only having been away from me for a week had killed him, and he needed to see me.

That was the first night he kissed me, and I let him.

As most people do when having grown up with someone so closely, I had developed an attachment to Noah very early on. I first recognized it when he turned twelve, and started skateboarding. He would insist on trying to teach me how, despite my undeniable clumsiness. His hands would grip my hips, his face so close to my ear, and his chest pressed to my back. He would talk in this deep voice, his puberty hitting early. I was awe-struck.

He was my best friend, sure. But he belonged to me, that's what he always said.

Even when he had girlfriends, I always came first. Dates would get cancelled for me; plans changed. Hell, he even blew off one girl whose birthday fell on the same day as mine. I was his priority. I was his person.

So when he leaned in to me, sitting on the edge of my mattress in the dorm, liquor stained-breath against my face, I just closed my eyes and let it happen.

He spent the night with me, and had to leave early. Vowing to come back, he never broke his word.

There he was the following weekend, sober this time, with snacks, DVDs, and a week’s worth of clothes. I managed to hide him in my room for four days before the dorm advisor caught him.

The second day he was there was the first time we had sex. I was a virgin, and he was not. That hurt me, sure. Not enough to deny him what was rightfully his. I belonged to Noah, body and soul. He took his time, walked me through it, and gave me the best possible experience I could expect. It hurt, and it was weird, but a sense of relief washed over me.

We had finally crossed that threshold. We had sex three times that week, until he was forced to leave.

That's when the words left his mouth.

"We need to talk."

That conversation broke something inside of me. He loved me, but he didn't love me. He was honored to have been allowed to give me something so meaningful, but he could never see me as more than his best friend. Our friendship was too important, and he wouldn't even allow himself to entertain the idea of jeopardizing that. He had made up his mind, and he couldn't have feelings for me.

It was with the heaviest heart imaginable, I sucked back my tears, painted an easy smile on my face, and held his hands in mine.

"I totally understand, Noah. No worries! We can just have fun, you know?"

And that was it. We were stuck in this sick, frozen place for the last two years. I was about to finish my Associates in Columbus, and hoped to become pre-med at Boston U, but Noah didn't know that yet. I could never figure out how to tell him.

Noah Davis was this heavy, bright flame that I was desperately afraid to extinguish. He had formed a band right after our arrangement began, and he was twenty-four hours away from leaving on their first major tour that would take him around the entire country, and then across the Atlantic to Europe.

How could I tell him that while he was gone, I was likely moving even further, and starting my life without him?

I didn't want to live without him, but he was leaving, and I couldn't sit and wait forever...

I breathed out a sigh, the light beginning to stream in the window of my one-bedroom apartment. He needed to wake up, drive home, and make sure he was ready to leave tomorrow. It was only 6AM, so I knew he'd be cranky, but I couldn't put this off any longer.

“Noah?” I breathed out his name. He groaned in response. “You’ve got to get up. You have to get ready to head home.”

"Mm, ten more minutes." I rolled my eyes, and began sliding out from underneath him.

His arm locked, and held me in place. I giggled, and saw as he turned his face, one eye cracking open. "Don't get up. It's too early."

I narrowed my eyes. "I have class at 8AM."

Noah used his strength against me, pulling my body to him and holding me tight so I couldn't get up. This only made me laugh louder.

"You don't need to get up for another hour."

"Not if I want to shower."

He sighed into the pillow. "So crazy, cause I don't think you do."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, you've got to get home. Nick will kill us both if you're not ready in time."

"I'm not scared of her." He smirked, and I smacked his arm.

"Shut up. And get off me!"

He stuck his bottom lip out, pouting heavily.

"Not going to work. C'mon." I wriggled hard enough to break his grip, and sat up, stretching my arms over my head. He sat up as well, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

I pulled a robe over myself, turning to look at him as he scrolled through his phone, checking messages.

"Coffee?" I asked, and he threw a thumbs up at me.

I left the room, headed for the kitchen, trying to keep my breathing even. I had very little time left.

Filling the pot with water, I felt his arms wrap around me from behind, his face burying in my neck.

"I don't want to go. I'm going to miss you so much."

I leaned into the touch, taking anything I could at this point. "I know. I'll miss you more."

He scoffed. "Not a chance."

Holding me for a few more moments, he let go to head to the fridge, pulling out the bagels and cream cheese, and plopping down at the dining table. I continued my work of preparing our coffee.

"Hey, uh," I started, keeping my voice as calm as I could. "there's something I wanted to chat with you about."

I turned around, two hot mugs in my hand. He was spreading the cream on a bagel, already having prepared one for me. I sat next to him at the table.

"What's up?" He didn't look up at me.

"I told you I had been trying to decide where to start medical school?" He just nodded in response. "Well, I find out today if I got into Boston."

He halted, his eyes snapping up to me. "Boston?"

I took a sip of coffee. "They've got the best med program on the East coast-"

He cut me off. "Since when were you looking on the East coast?"

His tone was darkening. This was going to go about as well as I expected.

"Since I realized I had a chance. Noah, my GPA and scholar program gives me a real shot."

He grit his teeth, setting his bagel down. "Boston is far, Y/N."

I kept calm, setting my mug down as well. "I know."

"So, why would you want to be so far away?"

"Well, you're going far too, Noah. Your first show is in San Diego."

He sat back in his chair. "Yeah, but the last one puts me right back here in Columbus for a month before I go overseas."

I nodded. "I know. I'll still be here, then. You get back six weeks before the end of the semester."

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can't go to Boston."

There was a finality to his tone, and something about it made my insides flinch with irritation.

"Oh no? And if I do?"

"You can't."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Can't? And since when do you tell me what I can and can't do?"

He rolled his eyes, standing from the table and walking over to the trash, binning the half of his bagel he didn't eat. "We can't be that far away from each other."

Lifting my eyebrows, I stood as well, crossing my arms. "And why is that, Noah?"

He leaned back against the counter. "Y/N, you know why."

"What? So you have someone to fuck whenever you want? Whenever one of your little groupies isn't around?"

His eyes popped open, then. "What?"

"You heard me." My tone was deadly, matching my stare at him.

"You really think the only reason I want you close is because of the sex?" He seemed truly stunned.

"Well, why else would you want me around?" I threw my hands up, walking back down the hallway toward my bedroom. I could hear his footfall behind me. I just continued, stepping into the closet to get dressed.

"What is that supposed to mean? I always want you around."

Rolling my eyes, I clasped my bra on and popped my head out to look at him. "Noah, I'm convenient for you. Unless you have any other valid reasons to keep coming over, I don't know why else it matters."

His jaw dropped open. "That is not true."

Pulling my shirt on, I scoffed. "Please, dude. Spare me the act, okay?"

"What act?"

I pulled my jeans on, buttoning them before stepping out to face him again. "The 'you're my person, and I can't lose you' act." I quoted myself. Something about that pissed him off, because he crossed his own arms and stared me down.

"The fuck are you getting at, Y/N?"

I shook my head, brushing past him, and walked toward the bathroom.

"Noah," I turned to look directly at him. "we've been at this for years. It's kind of old, don't you think?"

His face softened slightly. "We had an agreement."

I nodded. "You're right, we did. Just sex, for the sake of our friendship. That's what you wanted."

"I thought that's what we wanted."

Waving a hand between us, I took a step toward him. "Oh no, Noah. That's what you wanted. Not me."

He was silent, then.

"I wanted more. I always have. I thought that had become clear over the years, but I fucking guess not." I could hear my voice raising a few octaves. "You didn't give me a choice. You came in, broke that boundary, and then put it right back up again. And I stayed, just so I wouldn't lose you."

I could feel the tears beginning to well in my eyes.

His voice came out small, then, his hands now buried in his pockets.

"What do you want from me, Y/N?"

I sighed, letting one tear escape. "I want you to love me."

He pulled his hands out, stepping toward me and taking one of mine. I let him.

"I do love you!"

I stared at him, my teeth ground together. "Do you? The way I love you?"

Noah was a lot of things. He was brilliant, funny, generous, dedicated. He had the most redeeming qualities of anyone I knew.

And sure, he could be stupid. But not that stupid.

He had known how I felt about him. Of course he did. That was why I kissed him every chance I got. Why I always let him in. Why I never dated anyone else. Why I stayed all this time.

But here? In this moment? He was the biggest idiot I knew, because he dropped my hand, his eyes falling with it, and took a step backward.

"I..." He huffed out a breath, looking back up at my tear-stained face. "I can't. I'm sorry."

I averted my eyes, then. I could feel myself breaking, crumbling right before him.

"You need to leave, Noah."

I could feel he wanted to pull back to me, like a moon in orbit of a planet. Gravity. But he didn't. He just stepped back toward the doorway.

"What does this mean?" I heard his voice, but wouldn't meet his eyes.

I sniffed hard, trying like hell to keep myself upright.

"It means you go on tour. Be who you are, Noah. And I'll be who I am. Without each other."

His body shifted, but I was stone, unmoving.

"I can't lose you." I heard him let out a light, sarcastic laugh. "I'll die."

I let myself laugh at that.

"No you won't, Noah. Don't be stupid."

7 Years Later

Residency is going to kill me. I may actually die in pursuit of this God awful career I've chosen. I was three years in to a five year program, intending to finish in General Practice, but until that time, I was just an idiotic twenty-seven year-old with no life, no sleep, and no clean fucking clothes to wear.

Every resident gets exactly forty-eight hours of paid time off every three months, and I had not taken mine in over a year. I finally had taken all of my hours - six days total - off of work, and after spending the entire first day sleeping, I was due to meet with Raylene in an hour.

Ray and I met at the beginning of residency, and quickly gotten close. We managed to find an affordable apartment together within walking distance of the hospital, and spent any rare free time we had together. She was currently at her boyfriend's place, spending some much needed time with him, before we went out for the evening.

I was digging through my unfolded laundry, trying to find something not too wrinkled or stained to wear tonight. Ray had told me we were going to a concert for a band she had recently discovered, but she didn't tell me who it was. I didn't care, to be honest. Existing somewhere other than the Emergency Room or my own bed sounded heavenly.

Finally settling on a deep red cropped t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and the Vans I rarely got to wear, I straightened my hair and applied what little makeup I could. I set out of the building to the waiting vehicle downstairs, Ray practically hanging from the passenger window.

"You look so fine!"

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Sure. Like I might've slept in the last two weeks?"

She chortled back at me, leaning in her seat once I was in the car. I waved hello to her boyfriend Sean, and gazed at Ray.

"So, Tyler isn't coming."

She frowned at me. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "Said he had a case he was working on, and he really couldn't spare the time."

She rolled her eyes. "Typical lawyer. Too busy for anyone but his clients."

Tyler and I had been dating for about six months now. Maintaining a relationship while having jobs as busy as ours was difficult, but he somehow managed to work it out. He would pop in when he knew I had breaks to bring me food, or have me spend nights off at his place, massaging my neck and helping me get caught up on my favorite series. He was an honest man. A good man.

I liked him.

Right?

It's so hard to tell what's like and what's convenient when you live your life exhausted and overworked, so I didn't have a lot of time to question it.

"Bummer for him. I'm so excited to see this show!" Ray was beaming in the front seat.

"Yeah, who are we seeing, anyway?"

"A band called ERRA. They're opening for a bigger headliner, who I've heard are pretty good too."

I nodded. "I've never heard them."

"It's rock. Metal, really." Sean chimed in, and I acknowledged him silently, looking out of the window.

My mind zoned out while we drove to the House of Blues. Ray and Sean chatted idly up front, but I was just enjoying the fact that I was finally out of the house for once.

That is, until we walked into the venue. The banner poster stared at me, the photographs of the band mocking me...

Bad Omens...they were the headliner.

Memories flooded back to my brain, my insides clenching at the visions.

I hadn't spoken to him since that day...that last day in my apartment. When he left, and never looked back. I didn't even keep in touch with the rest of the guys, for fear that I would be sucked back into the maelstrom that was Noah Davis...

“Y/N?” I turned to see Ray stood behind me, noticing my reaction. “You okay?”

My mind wasn’t comprehending what I was seeing. There’s no way that was them? The last time I had heard of the band, they were one-of-four supporting bands on much larger headliners. Now, they were selling out tickets at their own tour? Seven years was a long time…but how had they gotten this popular?

I wondered this, as if I didn’t know how wildly talented those boys were. Aside from Noah, Nicky, Jolly, and Nick Folio were some of the most intelligent and creative minds I had known. They all brought something special to that band, but I would have never expected this.

Huh. Guess he could live without me after all?

Something bitter crept into the back of my throat, but I swallowed it down, staring at his photograph on the poster.

“Yeah,” I tore my eyes away for a second to look at Raylene. “sorry, I’m fine. Just didn’t realize Bad Omens was the headliner.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve heard of them?”

I pulled my lips to the side. Did I want to tell her?

“Long time ago.”

I couldn’t get past how different he looked in the picture. Last time I saw Noah, his hair was halfway down his back, he was skinny, and he had the thinnest little mustache growing on his upper lip.

In these promo pictures, however, his hair was short, not even reaching his ears, he looked much more muscular, and he had no facial hair. He also had many more tattoos than I remembered. That wasn’t surprising. Noah was a tattoo addict from a very young age.

Jolly had let his hair grow and had the cutest goatee on his chin. Nicky looked almost exactly the same. And Nick, bless his heart, had grown into such a handsome guy. They all looked so grown, so serious and broody. It almost made me giggle, knowing how goofy these guys were in real life.

Noah looked the most stunningly different from the rest. Not only did his entire appearance change, but his eyes…something in them was just so much darker. That harsh flame I had once known was so dim. It almost hurt to see. Almost.

We were making our way out to the pit of the GA floor. I had decided to get myself a cocktail to take the edge off. I didn't plan to come face-to-face with him, and likely wouldn't even get the opportunity to get a good look at him period, but still...just knowing we were in the same room made my throat tighten. I washed it down with Vodka and cranberry juice, hoping the warmth of the liquor would unfreeze my nerves.

The first band, Invent Animate, was entertaining enough. Very interactive with the crowd and high-energy. I found it pleasant, but couldn't get myself to focus long enough to notice what they were singing about. I struggled to breathe, the set ending, and knowing I was one hour closer to seeing his face.

During the intermission, Ray excused herself to the restroom, and I stood with Sean, feeling dizzier as the moments passed.

"Hey, I think I'm going to step out for a second. Get some air."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "You okay? Want me to come with?"

I shook my head. "Nah, don't want you to miss the band you guys came to see. I'll be back."

He nodded, patting me on the shoulder before I weaved in and out of the crowd. I discarded my plastic cup in a trash can before exiting out into the main lobby. I found a spot on the wall near the doors that was unoccupied, and leaned against it, letting my eyes close and my breathing even out.

When I opened my eyes, I searched the room, looking for nothing specific. I landed on the merch tables, and saw someone oddly familiar talking to the lead singer of the last band we had watched...

The liquid courage is what carried me in that direction, smiling to myself.

He stood with his hair pulled back, as usual, and was talking with his hands. Same as he always did.

"Nicky Ruffilo..." I said loud enough to hopefully catch his attention, my hands now grasping the edge of the table.

His head snapped over to look at me, his brows knit together curiously. I could tell he was putting it together.

"No fucking way..." His voice sounded the same as it always had. "Y/N?!"

My teeth flashed at him, and he circled the table to approach me, his arms pulling me into a tight hug.

"Jesus Christ, I didn't recognize you!" That was fair.

Since the last time I had seen any of the guys, I had bleached my hair a pale blonde, lost twenty-five pounds, and had grown two cup sizes. I was, for all intents and purposes, an entirely different person.

"Yeah, well I absolutely recognized you." I said as I gripped his shirt, squeezing him tight.

"How long has it been?" He asked, pulling back to look at me.

"Uh," I thought for a moment. "seven-ish years?"

Nick's eyes were in disbelief, an amazed leer on his face. "God damn, girl. I can't believe it."

I pointed to the banner above his head. "Headlining now, huh? That's amazing!"

He smiled, proudly. "Yeah, we've worked really hard. A lot's changed."

My eyes fell on Noah's face on the poster. "I can see that."

I could tell he was pondering, a question hanging on the edge of his tongue. It was the most obvious question, so I answered for him.

"He doesn't know I'm here."

He nodded, leaning an arm on the table comfortably. "Ah, okay. You didn't want him to?"

I snorted. "I didn't even know I'd be here. My friends came to see ERRA, and that's when I realized you guys were here."

"Makes sense." He had crossed his arms. "Do you want him to know?"

Contemplating this, I let my face fall to get away from his gaze. I wasn't certain how to answer that, but it seemed like the answer was clear regardless.

"No." I sighed hard. "It's probably for the best that he doesn't, right?"

I couldn't read Nick's face, if he was disappointed or relieved. He seemed to be pretty satisfied with my answer, but I could tell he had more he wished he could say.

"Fair enough." Was all he gave me, before letting out a breath. "So, you still live up here?"

I let my muscles relax for a second. "Yeah, doing a residency at Brigham right now."

"Residency? Does that mean you're a doctor?" He asked, clearly confused.

I cackled at this. "Yeah, full blown doctor. Got the little 'MD' after my name and everything."

He beamed at me. "That's so great! Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Nicky." It fell quiet between us once again, and I could hear ERRA's set beginning. "Well, I should probably-"

He spoke over me. "Yeah! Those guys put on a great show. Don't miss it!"

I gave him another hug, reveling in how warm he still felt.

Turning to walk away, I stopped, needing one last thing...

"Nick?"

His face turned back to me.

"How is he?"

I could see the sadness fall over his tan features, and I instantly regretted asking.

"He's..." He trailed off, taking in a large breath. "He's different, Y/N. I doubt you'd recognize him."

"How so?"

Something about my question almost seemed to annoy him. Odd?

"Like I said, a lot has changed. He's changed. He had to." He gestured to me. "Same way you did."

I accepted this, not wanting to press any further. "Thanks, Nick."

He pointed a finger at me. "Hey, we're going to be back here in the fall for a couple days. Don't be a stranger, okay?" I grinned at this. "I know Jolly and Folio would kill to see you."

I just nodded, turning and walking away. My eyes met with Ray's, who was standing, watching my interaction. How much had she seen? Did she hear anything?

"Hey, what are you doing? You're missing ERRA!"

Her brows were pulled up suspiciously. "Who was that?" She pointed after Nick, who had now disappeared from the merch table.

I shook my head. "Oh, that guy? He's the bassist in the headliner band."

This wasn't good enough for her, I could tell by the way she pursed her lips. "Uh-huh. And...you just decided to chat him up like old friends?"

I groaned. "Ugh, how long were you standing there?"

She put all her weight on one hip. "Long enough to see you two talking like you've known each other before. Care to explain?"

Raylene was so nosey. She came by it honestly, her father being a police detective. But still, why did this matter?

"It's not a big deal, Ray. I'll tell you later."

I pulled on her arm, trying to lead her back to the concert hall, but she stood firm, eyeing me. I sucked my teeth in frustration.

"Damn it, alright, come here."

She followed me to the doors leading outside, and we stepped into the cool air.

"Alright, look, I've known Nick since I was ten."

Her eyes jumped. "Oh? Back in West Virginia?"

I nodded. "Exactly. I had no idea their band was going to be here."

"Do you know anyone else in the band?"

I glanced around, feeling wildly uncomfortable by the conversation.

"I may know the entire band."

Her eyes exploded, nearly shooting out of her face cartoonistically.

"What?! The whole band?" I just nodded. "Jesus, Y/N. That's insane!"

I giggled. "I guess. It's just a coincidence."

She smiled at me. "Well that's awesome! Do you want to see the rest of them after? They're doing a free merch signing."

Panic filled my chest, and I put a hand out to grab her shoulder. "No, no. I don't, uh..." I tried to keep my voice solid. "I don't keep in touch with them anymore."

Her eyes narrowed. "Oh? Okay, if you're sure." Something in my voice must have made her feel my anxiety.

We turned, ready to make our way back inside.

"It is too bad. The lead singer's a real looker. I heard one of the girls in the crowd say his name was Noah Sebastian? He's pretty cute."

I almost walked straight into the door, my foot banging off of the pillar. Ray turned around to see me, and something about the look on my face made realization flash over her.

"Oh my God, are you ok-" She stopped dead, eyes widening again. "Wait..."

"Ray, don't." I knew what she had figured out.

"Noah..." I put my hands up, glancing around to ensure no one was looking at us. "As in...Noah? Your old best friend?!"

I shushed her harshly. "Please, Ray. I don't want to think about this."

"That's the guy?! Noah Sebastian is the guy that broke your heart?!"

I was going to actually vomit at that.

"Fuck! Can we not?!" I raised my voice, which made her snap her mouth closed. "Besides, I don't know a Noah Sebastian."

She looked confused. "Is that not his real name?"

I rolled my eyes, turning to walk back in. "It's his middle name."

I spaced out most of what was left of ERRA's set, just trying to put the pieces back together in my brain. This night had not turned into what I had hoped.

I just wanted one night, an easy night, to take a deep breath away from my hectic life. Instead, I was reliving some of my most painful memories, and had a headache to go right along with it from the alcohol. My chest vibrated, the bass just making it so much more difficult to focus.

I stood off of the GA floor, near the bar area, not even realizing the band had finished, and people were swarming to grab drinks and use the restrooms before the men of the evening appeared. Ray approached me, another Vodka cran in her hand, and pushed it into mine.

"Here my love, drink this." I took a long gulp of it. "Do you want us to go? We don't have to stay..."

My eyes were fixed on the stage, where I could see people setting up the equipment. "No." I huffed out a breath, and squeezed my cup. "No, I want to see them play, I think."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're sure? This can't be easy for you."

My eyes burned into her face, which almost made her flinch. "I may never get to see him again, Ray. I have to."

She just nodded, arm linking with mine. "You want to watch from up here?"

I nodded, crunching on a piece of ice from my drink. "No chance of him spotting me back here."

She affirmed my request, and leaned back against the wall with me.

I felt my phone vibrate, and I pulled it from my pocket to see Tyler's name on the screen.

Tyler: Hey beautiful! How's the show?

I held my breath. What kind of a question was that?

Me: Fine. Almost over, just one band left.

He didn't take but a minute to respond.

Tyler: Having fun?

Ha, what a joke.

Me: Yeah. I've had some drinks, so it's helping.

Tyler: Well, enjoy it baby! You deserve it.

That wasn't fair. None of it was. Having to see Noah? The fact that I had an amazing guy, who genuinely liked me, who waited for me. But I still couldn't get my mind off of that irritatingly beautiful face about to take the stage.

The lights went down, and I felt myself tense, throwing back the rest of my drink. My teeth were numb, if that made any sense at all. Ray's hand gripped mine tight, holding me up.

A cinematic scene played on the screens, but I wasn't watching, eyes hastily searching the stage.

A tall man, who I instantly recognized as Jolly, stepped center-stage, a guitar in his hand playing the opening riff to the song. It was heavy, deep and soul shaking.

Folio came out next, his face, like Jolly's, covered in a black ski mask.

Nick took his spot, playing his bass tones.

And then, as the opening crescendoed, a voice rang through the speakers.

A voice I'd never forget.

"Can you hear me through the white noise?"

He blasted onto the stage, glory and all, face covered and thick black jacket on his shoulders.

He sounded different. Angry. Raw, Aggressive. The feeling that sank in my stomach pulled me back further against the wall.

The song played through, his words pulsing through my veins.

As quick as it had started, it was over, and we were on to the next.

The next track was calmer, red lights glowing all throughout the stage.

They had all removed their masks, and I saw his face for the first time. He looked so much older, making it difficult for me to believe he was the same person.

The words of the song resonated deep in my thoughts.

"I don't want to know all your secrets, cause I'll tell. It's hard enough being alone with myself. I don't know how long I'll be holding on..."

Breathing deeply, I watched as the crowd moved with the music, electrifying the energy in the room. It was intoxicating.

Noah had changed...

The set played on without hitch, the entire time I caught myself holding in breaths until I felt my lungs nearly bursting. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, feeling the familiar ache beginning to creep back in.

The music stopped, and a bunch of lights came up. By this time, Noah had discarded his jacket, button-up, and only stood in a black tank top, hands wrapped in what looked like boxing wraps?

"Alright, Boston, how we feeling?" His speaking voice even sounded different...

The crowd erupted.

"We are Bad Omens, and we sincerely appreciate you all being here tonight. The next song we are going to play for you all has been the biggest turning point this band has ever seen." I heard the screams, and did my best to tune them out so I could hear his words. "Is anyone familiar with a song called Just Pretend?"

The room rocked with the cheers and chants of the crowd.

"That volume that I just heard? That's the volume I want to hear you sing this with me, okay? Don't worry about trying to hit the perfect note or get all of the words right. It's about us all, being here together tonight."

The music played softly behind him when his lips reached the microphone.

"I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you..."

My heart twisted in my chest.

"I'm not afraid, of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out?"

The tears pooled in my eyes. No fucking way. The song played on, mocking me with the lyrics.

"I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face. And not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same."

"We'll try again, when we're not so different. We will make amends, till then I'll just pretend."

My hands came up to cover my face, my lip trembling hard.

"Weigh down on me. Stay till morning. Way down. Would you say I'm worthy?"

I choked on a sob, my legs pushing me forward, and I ran out of the room. I felt my stomach lurching, my mouth clamping closed as I ran toward the bathroom.

I heard Ray chasing behind me. "Y/N! Wait!"

Flying into the bathroom and finding the first open stall, I fell to my knees, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. My hands gripped my hair, tears falling hard down my face.

"Oh God, babe." Ray reached to grab my hair from me as I wretched all of the Vodka out of my stomach, my heart and soul pouring out with it.

When I finished, I let my chest heave with sobs, my hand covering my eyes in ebarrassment.

"Fuck, Ray." I said as I wiped my face with the tissue she handed me. "I've got to get the hell out of here."

She nodded. "Okay, my love. Let's do that."

After a solid twenty minutes of cleaning myself up in the bathroom, we stepped out, noticing the crowd now formed outside, waiting at the table for the band to come out for the signing. Ray was frantically dialing Sean, trying to find him among the sea of people. I just plopped myself down on the floor near the restroom, trying to relax as best as I could.

"Y/N?" I looked up at her. "I have to go find Sean. He isn't answering. Can you wait here for me?"

I just nodded, defeated. She was gone, lost within the abyss of people, and I sat, waiting, head in my hands.

I was pulled out of my stupor by the sound of cheering. The band had come out, all waving and smiling. I didn't even bother chancing a glance at him, for fear I may vomit again.

Ray had not come back yet, despite the four or five texts I had now sent her. I had been waiting for a solid thirty minutes, people watching the line and avoiding seeing his face. The ropes of the line were blocking my view of the faces sitting at the table.

After another fifteen, Ray finally bounded up to me, out of breath, Sean in tow.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry! That crowd is vicious!"

I stood slowly, the room only slightly spinning. I swallowed the dry, disgusting feeling in my throat, and began moving toward the exits that were now mostly clear.

"Let's go." She nodded at me, and took my arm. We had to wait behind several people trying to all get through the same revolving door. My skin felt spiky and cold.

"Hang on! Wait!"

A voice behind me made ice run through my veins, and I closed my eyes, begging whatever God existed to spare me in this moment.

A hand gripped my shoulder, and I tensed, turning my face, and my eyes looked straight at him.

He had spotted me, running from his table to catch me. He had to have been pretty damn sure it was me to chase after me like that. Fans began to crowd us, camera phones coming out, pictures snapping.

The look on his face was much less certain than I expected, as if he possibly made a mistake.

"I'm sorry..." His voice was unsteady. "Do I," He cleared his throat, eyes bouncing back and forth between my own. "know you?"

My eyebrows shot up. He really didn't recognize me?

He thought he did, but now...

"No. I don't think so." I spit out my words, teeth grinding together. It felt exactly the same as the last time I had seen him.

He dropped his hand, eyes still transfixed on mine. "I swore..."

I just turned my body, pressing my way past the gathered crowd, not giving him the chance to think it through.

In the car, I stared out the back window, arms wrapped around myself.

"What did he say, honey?" Ray's voice was so gentle.

"He didn't recognize me. He thought he did, but once he got up close, I guess I look too different." My words were only a peg above a whisper.

"You going to be okay? I don't have to stay at Sean's."

I just wiped the stray tear off of my cheek. "It's fine. I'd rather be alone."

-

A long, scalding shower, two handfuls of shredded cheese, and a solid half-hour crying session later, I was laid catatonically on my bed, eyes staring at the screen as Grey's Anatomy flashed across my screen.

I had blanked my mind out, forcing myself to let the thoughts go for the night. I was too tired and broken to let my heart hurt like this again. It took a solid year to get over Noah enough that I was able to function again. My first year of med school was disappointing, and I didn't make any friends until I made it into the second year. It took me nearly three to start dating.

I couldn't do that again.

I had been ignoring the texts going off on my phone, assuming it was Ray just checking on me for the thousandth time. I did, however, decide to take a look when I heard my ringtone going off.

Who would be calling me at 2AM?

I didn't even bother checking the screen before I put the phone up to my ear, my voice hoarse from crying.

"Hello?"

"What are the odds that you haven't changed your number after all this time?"

I sat bolt upright, my voice catching in my throat. The voice on the other end sounded nearly as wrecked as mine.

"Noah?" It barely came out.

"It's been a long time."

I cleared the newly formed phlegm out of my throat. "It has."

"I knew that was you." It sounded deadly quiet in the background of his end of the line. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming tonight?"

I sighed. "Nick told you?"

"He might've."

I groaned. "Well, I asked him not to."

"Why?"

I scoffed. "What do you mean, why?" I rubbed my eyes. "We're not exactly speaking anymore, Noah."

He hummed. "That's true."

I chewed on my lip, not having any kind of clue of what to say.

"What did you think?"

"Of the show?"

"Mhm."

I sighed. "It was good. Different than what I would have expected."

A soft laugh came through the line. "How so?"

I smiled at that. "It's just a lot different than what I expected your music to sound like."

"In a bad way?"

"No. Not at all."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." His voice was so serious. So monotone. Nothing at all like what I remembered.

The line fell silent again, and I found this irritating. What was he playing at?

"Why did you call, Noah?"

I heard a breath on the other end, and some rustling. "I don't know."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have."

"Maybe. I wanted to hear your voice."

My stomach tightened. "Now you have. I should go."

"Wait..." I held the phone firm, waiting. "I want to see you."

My heart pounded. "What?"

"I need to see you." His words were so matter-of-fact.

"I don't think so, Noah. That's not a great idea."

"It's not, but I'm asking..." He sounded so small. "Can I please see you?"

I perused the idea. "When?"

"Now?"

I scrunched up my face, sitting up again. "Now? It's after two in the morning."

"I don't care. I'll come to wherever you are."

This struck me. Maybe he hadn't changed?

"I, uh," I struggled to speak. "Noah, I don't know. I'm at home, it's late. I should be sleeping."

"Y/N?" I stopped, listening. "Please?"

I am a weak woman, and that is just plain fact. I was frantically running throughout the apartment, attempting to tidy any kind of mess I could get my hands on. Ray and I hadn't taken the time to really clean in months, so it was stressing me out. My pajama pants were hanging low on my hips, and I swam in my large sweatshirt.

My hair was falling loose around my face, and I was sure my eyes were puffy from the crying I had done. How insane was I? Had I completely lost it?

It was almost 3AM when a knock came at my apartment door, and I froze in place. What was I doing? Why was I allowing this to happen? I didn't need to do this to myself.

I was fine, living in my normal, tired bubble. I was headed towards a successful career that would take me further than I ever imagined. Why was I allowing this trainwreck of a friendship back into my life? What was I thinking?!

I wasn't. That was the answer to that question.

I opened the door, not sure what to expect on the other side. He stood, still as tall as I remembered, looming in the doorway. He wore a black hoodie, hands tucked neatly in the pocket. Dark blue jeans and black Converse. A white beanie covering his hair.

Like this, he looked almost recognizable. Except for his eyes...

Just like in the photograph I had seen earlier, his eyes were so dark. There was very little life behind them. Deep blue circles hung under the rims, making a pull in my chest show itself.

I just stood, blocking the doorway, hand white-knuckling the frame.

"Hi." Was all he managed. He was staring at me, eyes moving up and down my face as if he was seeing an apparition.

"Hi." I echoed, trying to not feel out of place under his stare.

"I'm glad you agreed to see me." He didn't move an inch, his jaw ticking closed with his last work.

I just nodded, letting out all of my air. "Yeah, well, you were insistent."

He nodded, finally looking away from me and down at the ground.

"I had to."

I pursed my lips, narrowing my eyes. "Did you?" He raised a brow at me. "Did you just have to see me? Because I think we probably would've been alright without it."

I could see his face fall, hurt by what I said, but I didn't care. He never did.

"I'm sorry. I know it's selfish."

"Mm," I pinched my lips together, and opened my door wider. "come in."

I stalked back into the house, not daring to look back at him. I heard the door shut behind me, and I steadied myself, expecting to turn around and see him vanished.

To my chagrin, he was still there.

Deciding not to stagnate, I walked into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of tea from the fridge, and walking back out to the living area. He hadn't moved, and was still staring at me.

"So." I motioned to him. "What can I do for you?"

Noah was so statuesque, as if carved right out of stone. "I don't really know."

My face lifted, a smirk on my lips. "You don't know? Noah," I placed a hand on my hip. "you show up here at 3AM, and you have no idea why?"

He shrugged, eyes begging me for mercy. "I'm sorry. I don't."

"Can you stop apologizing and just tell me why you're here?!" My patience snapped, startling even me.

This took him back, but instead of tucking tail and backing away, he stood straighter, face hardening.

"I can't tell you why I'm here if I don't know, alright?" His words were stern.

"Well you must have some kind of reason? Because this feels wildly unnecessary."

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "It is? So you didn't want to see me?"

I set my tea on the coffee table and stood nonchalantly. "Not really."

He narrowed his eyes. "I don't buy it." He took a step toward me, but I stood firm. "If you didn't you wouldn't have stayed, tonight. You would've left after you saw the band your friends went to see."

He was closer now, and it felt like a string had tethered between us, the tension slowly slacking.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to see your set. See how the band was doing."

He snickered at me. "Oh, sure. Of course." His hands finally appeared from his pockets, one running over his chin. "Which song was your favorite?"

Oop. I wasn't expecting that.

"The second one. Villain, or something?"

He nodded. "Like A Villain." Noah's eyes weren't buying it. "Which one did you like least?"

I scoffed. "I don't know, Noah? The first one?"

"Mm, and which one was that?"

I was swallowing the lump in my throat. I couldn't remember, the night blurring together.

"Uh, I don't know the name."

He took a step back, triumphant. "You weren't there for the set. You wanted to see me."

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms. "Still as self-absorbed as ever, I see?"

"Am I wrong?"

He had me backed into a corner, and he fucking knew it.

I threw my arms up. "Fine! Maybe I did. But you wanted to see me too."

He sneered at me, venom on his lips. "Obviously, or else I wouldn't be here."

"You still haven't said why."

"Why did you want to see me?"

My voice was raising, frustration growing. "I don't know!"

"I don't know either!" He yelled back at me, and my mouth snapped closed. Noah never raised his voice at me. Not ever.

He took three long strides over to me until he was only stood a foot away.

"I didn't expect to ever see you again, Y/N! I thought you were gone forever! So imagine my surprise when I see you walking out of the House of Blues, and you deny even knowing me!"

I felt like shrinking into a ball right there on the floor, ceasing to exist.

"I wanted to see you because how could I not?! Seven fucking years, Y/N!" He backed down for a second, his breathing becoming ragged. "I've been waiting seven years."

I furrowed my brow. "Waiting?"

"For you to reach out. To tell me you missed me. To give me some kind of indication we could reconcile and be us again."

There was a fire, deep down in my gut, that I had never been able to truly extinguish. A fire Noah had lit years ago. A mine shaft burning like the depths of hell in my belly that I had buried under concrete and therapy, keeping it at bay.

In my apartment, tonight, that fire broke loose. And there was no stopping it.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I took a step forward, pressing into his space, index finger jabbing into his chest. "I was supposed to reach out?!"

He took a step back, eyes now full of fear.

"I professed my love to you, Noah! I told you I wanted you, and you fucking left!"

He puffed at me, pointing a finger back at me. "You told me to leave!'

"Yes! Because you told me you didn't love me! You told me you couldn't love me the way I loved you!"

He squeezed his lids shut tight, growling and turning away from me, taking several steps away. His hands came up, gripping the beanie on his head.

"God damn it Y/N!" He turned to look at me, a fiery rage matching my own behind his eyes. "Of course I fucking loved you!"

My heart stopped, completely motionless.

"What?"

"I've always loved you! From the moment I laid fucking eyes on you! I've never loved anyone, no one, the way I loved you!" He charged me, backing me toward the couch. "But I couldn't love you, Y/N! I wasn't good enough. I was a piss-poor high school dropout musician trying to make a name for himself, and, until recently, failing miserably."

I couldn't speak, thoughts racing so fast, I struggled to keep up.

"And you?" He pointed a finger back into my chest. "You were smart, and motivated, and you were going to make something of yourself. I couldn't drag you down with me. I couldn't force you to follow this journey with me. It would've ruined your life!"

My lungs weren't working right, and my hands were shaking. He wasn't actually saying this. I was hallucinating.

"So I left. I left to give you a chance at a real life. Which, evidently, you've managed to build without me." He took a step back, then, dropping his hands. "And I, somehow, without you."

This hurt me, hearing he had managed to become so successful, despite my involvement.

"Noah, I had no idea-"

"No," He cut me off. "you didn't."

I hadn't even caught the tears falling from my eyes, blurring my vision until he was just a watery mess in front of me.

"You didn't need me." I choked out, and he looked directly at me, inquisitively. "You've made it so far. You're a rockstar now, Noah."

He scoffed. "Y/N, you don't get it." He looked away from me, focused on the wall behind me. "I died without you. Something inside of me was lost the day I left, and I never got it back."

"Well, you're successful now, so it can't be so bad, right?"

He snorted, shaking his head. "Success always comes with a price."

My lips were wet with the tears I couldn't hold in, and I couldn't keep my breathing even. I knew he saw it, but hesitated to engage, wanting to keep a wide berth between us. I couldn't take it. It was too much.

Hearing he loved me. Hearing I had been wrong all this time. Hearing that the heartbreak I felt for so long wasn't his fault. He was protecting me, even after all these years.

"Noah?" He chanced a glance at me, and I saw his own eyes sparkling with moisture.

I couldn't take it.

I rushed him, grabbing hold of his shoulder and clinging on, desperate to find relief against him. My lips smashed into his, tearing apart the barrier I had worked so hard to build.

His hands grabbed me, holding me into place against him, his lips melted into mine, returning the kiss fervently. We were hopeless. We were hungry.

My tears didn't stop flowing, emotion pouring out of every pore. My fingers clawed at him, needing to get closer. My hand grabbed the beanie, and pulled it off of his head, his dark hair falling over his eyes. I gripped it at the scalp, trying to pull myself closer.

Feeling what I was attempting to do, his hands lifted me by the back of my legs, so I could wrap them around his midsection. I refused to disconnect the kiss, breathing in his soul. It was so real and so familiar. How I missed it like hell.

His legs carried us to the couch, where he sat us down. My legs straddled him, and I finally pulled away to tug at the sweatshirt he wore. He made quick work of pulling it up over his head while I did the same with my own. Reconnecting our lips, my hands wandered over his neck and chest, scratching at the fabric of his shirt.

His teeth caught my bottom lip, and I moaned into his mouth. His fingers pulled at the waistband of my pajama pants, and I lifted myself enough to slip them off, replacing myself on his lap. His jeans were already getting tighter as his hands smoothed up and down my thighs.

"Fucking hell." He looked down, staring at my bare breasts in front of him. "These got bigger, huh?"

I laughed, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, well, things change."

His fingers gripped around my left breast, lips falling to circle around the hardened nipple. I let my head fall back, relishing in the warm feeling spreading throughout my body.

"Still so fucking beautiful, just like I remember." I pulled at the hair on the back of his neck. "Did you miss me, baby girl?"

I ground my hips down against him in response. His hand began playing with the button of his jeans, and I moved it away to open them myself.

I stood up to pull his jeans down to his knees, his boxers bulging in the crotch.

"Oh, fuck." I sighed out. "Yeah, I missed you."

His smile then was devious, some of that regular spark shining back in his eyes. "Then show me, huh?"

Reaching into the opening of his underwear, I pulled his cock free, taking a moment to remember just how large it was. It had been a very long time since I had seen anything quite that impressive. Dipping my head down, I licked a long stripe up the shaft, lingering on the head to gather the precome leaking out.

"Holy shit." His head fell back on the couch, his eyes rolling back with it. "Mm, do that again, please?"

I smirked, looking up at him. "Only since you asked so nicely."

My tongue repeated the movement, drawing out a hard groan out of him, his legs twitching. "Fuck yeah, baby."

Without warning, I wrapped my lips around him and swallowed him as far down as my throat would allow, gagging on the tip as it struck my tonsils. His hips jolted upward, effectively fucking my throat.

"Please, Y/N, I won't last that way." He begged, his words only coming out as breaths. "I need to feel you, please."

He was begging, and I couldn't resist it. I needed him too.

I stood back up, and kneeled on either side of him, carefully lining him up with my entrance. When I sunk down, that delicious burn pierced through me, and my body collapsed onto him at the intensity of it.

"Noah, oh my God." He ran a hand up my back, allowing me a moment to adjust.

"I know, baby. I know." He soothed me, rubbing small circles into my skin.

My hips stuttered forward, needing to feel the friction. His hand reached down to grab my ass, and lifted me upward. Without warning, his hips snapped forward and fucked into me, making a sharp scream leave my lips.

My face rested on his chest, whimpers falling from my throat with each hard thrust.

"Fuck, you missed me, pretty girl?" He was panting between his words, his rhythm picking up speed. "Missed the way I fuck you?"

My eyes were rolling back, the tears from before now replaced with tears of raw pleasure.

"I'll bet you've never been fucked like this, huh?" His words were just tones of desire playing in my ears, his cock absolutely destroying me. "No one can fuck you like I can, baby. No one."

My nails dug hard into his shirt, begging for release.

"Let me know when you come, baby. Not finishing until you do."

Luckily for him, I was riding the edge so hard it was making the room spin. Biting my lip to keep from screaming, I lifted myself to look at his face.

"Noah," I searched his eyes, his hips not faltering. "I love you."

He grit his teeth, trying to focus on me and his hips at the same time. "I love you, too. So fucking much."

My face fell back down, landing on the side of his neck. "I'm going to come. Please, Noah, I'm so close..."

He, somehow, managed to pump into me harder, sending my body over the cliff and into the warm waves of my orgasm. My body went slack against him as my walls pulsed around his length.

I heard him curse, and his hips stilled. I felt him spasming inside me, and silently thanked myself for my IUD.

We laid that way, sweaty and heaving, for a solid ten minutes before either of us could find the strength to move. I slipped him out of me, and sat up to look at him. He looked absolutely wrecked, in the best possible way.

I smiled, feeling a warmth spread over me.

"Hi." Was all I could manage.

He chuckled tiredly. "Hi."

-

After our excursion, Noah and I had taken a few minutes to clean up, and, being as exhausted as you'd expect, decided to lay together for a while.

He told me he had to leave within a few hours to get back to his hotel, heading to the next city bright and early, so I told him I'd stay up until he had to leave.

However, in my bed, his arms wrapped tightly around me, his voice whispering sweet words in my ears, I struggled to remain conscious.

"Do you remember when I bought you that Oasis album for your fourteenth birthday? That was basically me professing my love to you."

"I was such an idiot. I should've just told you."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you. I don't think you'll ever understand."

"I'm so sorry. I wish things were different..."

And that's how I woke up, light in my bedroom far too bright, and my bed empty.

I don't know what I expected? For him to stay? Fuck off his tour to make up for lost time with me?

But still, my chest stung when I saw he had left, but I wasn't surprised.

Something had changed last night, and the darkness that lingered in the depths of my being had lifted, leaving me with a sense of hope I hadn't felt before.

When I had woken for the day, clearing the cobwebs from my eyes, I contemplated my next move. He had surely left town already, but that didn't mean I couldn't keep in touch, right?

Pulling out my phone, I found his contact, and opened a text thread.

Me: Hey, call me when you can. I think we have a lot to talk about. :)

I set my phone down on the bathroom counter, preparing to brush my teeth when my phone dinged, and the notification told me the text had failed.

Odd?

I resent it, getting the same response.

Why would my messages fail? I paid my bill, right?

Quickly dialing Ray's number, I held the phone to my ear and heard the ringing, so I knew my service was fine. Giving her a quick apology for waking her, I hung up, and went back to my texts.

His number was the same, right?

I went back to my call logs, seeing it was his number that called me last night, so it was the same as it had always been.

So...what the hell?

My finger hovered over the number for a moment, and I weighed the options before finally resolving to just call him. Make sure I wasn't losing my mind.

I held the phone to my face as I started brushing my teeth, waiting for the call to connect.

"The number you have reached is not in service. If you feel you have reached this message in error, please hang up and try your call again."

God damn 🥴

Noah is the type when he’s giving you that good dick down and he’s about to absolutely rail you he’d say:

“You know I love you right?”

“Y-yes..?”

“Good….because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t”

I’m like so insanely attracted to his back, it’s not even funny.

Back shots 😋😋😋😋🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

What!!!! No you can’t end it like this!!! I need more!!! Please!!!!!!!🙏🏼 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Thou Shalt Not Kill- Chapter 7

AU Noah Sebastian x female reader

18+

Summary: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.

Warnings: talks of murder/graphic killings, use of religion, serial killer, blood, gore, bad language

Chapter Index Here

I hope you enjoy this chapter and can see all the hidden lines, clues etc I’d placed throughout the story 🫢 this really is only the beginning though, think of it as the end of act 1 if you will 😏 and as always I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!!

Tags: let me know if you wish to be added!@Ima1986 @hayleylatour @reyadawn @thatchickwiththecamera @calleyx13 @millie-aubs @english-fucker @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsword @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran

MASTERLIST

“Morning angel”

Your body froze and you felt your spine go cold at his words. There was only one other person who has called you that.

“Angel? No he can’t be serious….it must have been a mistake surely?”

Feeling Noah move more behind you, his arm tightened around your waist, no doubt feeling your tense body.

“Everything ok?”

You turned to look at him with a small smile, trying hard to relax your muscles down.

“Yeah, I’m good, are you ok?”

Noah stared into your eyes and gave you a cheeky smirk back.

“Well this is definitely one of the better ways I’ve woken up recently”

You were then suddenly very aware that you were both still naked under the blanket so you sat yourself up holding it to your chest.

“There’s no way it’s Noah, it can’t be”

“Yeah, it’s ahh…different to normal. Although seeing as it’s now gone 7, I better start getting ready”

Noah cocked his head to the side with his brows knitted together with a frown on his lips as he continued to stare at you.

“You sure you’re ok?”

You put a big smile on your face and leant in to kiss him which he instantly returned.

“Yeah, just nervous to give my statement….and have my ass handed to me over going in alone yesterday, it was pretty stupid. I’m going to jump in the shower so…I’ll see you at work?”

Noah gave you a small smile and nodded his head.

“Of course, I’ve got to go back to mine before work anyways”

You stood up, still holding the blanket to your body and averted your eyes as Noah simply stood up completely naked with a smirk on his face.

“Don’t get all shy now babe, last night was just a taster of what’s to come”

Despite the uneasy feeling in your stomach, you felt your cheeks go warm at his statement. You waited while Noah got himself dressed and picked up his things before he turned back to you and pressed another kiss onto your lips.

“I’ll be seeing you later”

••••••

After getting yourself ready, you made the drive to work, your mind in overdrive the whole way.

“He’s never called me angel before, why today? He can’t be the killer….there’s no way!”

*

“You know, I’m really impressed that you figured this out, that they were all connected, I doubt anyone would have seen that”

“Are you religious at all detective?”

“I understand that. My family were religious but I never took to it, as you said, I believe in what I can see, hear, smell….touch. Somethings I don’t think god would approve of”

*

Parked up at the station, you took a moment to breathe in your car away from everyone, the tension from this morning still very much present in your shoulders.

“He was raised with a religious background but doesn’t believe it as an adult…why?”

*

“Similar in a way, I was in a car accident with my dad when I was eleven, I only had minor injuries but my dad….he passed away on the scene. The driver that hit us was never caught. I wanted to come into the force to make sure justice was done correctly, for my dad”

*

“His father…that’s when he stopped believing”

You took one more deep breath before you grab your bag and got out of the car to head into the station.

You made your way quickly down the hall, not in the mood to talk to anyone when you heard sergeant Matthews calling out your name.

“Detective Y/L/N. My office please”

Stopping in your tracks, you braced yourself and turned to go into his office.

You stood in front of his desk with your fingers fiddling with each other subtly, waiting for the absolute bollocking you knew was coming.

“Look sir, I know yesterday was bad…”

“Save it Detective”

He let out a frustrated sigh.

“You have been a crucial member of this team for a long time, you certainly know better than to charge into a potentially hostile environment with no back up! What the hell were you thinking?!”

You looked at the desk in front of you before slowly bringing your eyes up to his disappointed gaze.

“I don’t know….I guess I just wasn’t thinking, I just…”

“You’re damn right you weren’t thinking! You could have got yourself killed or others if they had to do a rescue mission to save your ass!”

Sergeant Matthews took another deep breath, clearly thinking of his next words.

“I know this case has taken its toll on you detective, the brutality of it alone has been nothing like we have ever seen. It’s clear to everyone in this office that it’s affected you mentally…but I cannot ignore such a blatant disregard to follow simple orders, not when it endangers the live’s of others….I’m taking you off the case, your gun has already been retrieved from the crime scene and I’d like you to hand over your badge”

Your head snapped up.

“You can’t do that!”

His gaze was firm.

“I just did”

“But sir you don’t understand!”

Sergeant Matthews stood up tall while resting his hands on his desk.

“Enough! My decision is final, you are off the case for good, I don’t want you to have anything to do with it, is that clear?!”

“But I think I….”

“IS THAT CLEAR?”

Tears brimmed your eyes as you nodded in defeat, a feeling of complete sorrow flooding your body.

“Yes sir”

You took your badge from your jacket pocket and put it on the desk in front of him.

“Take some time off detective, clear your head…properly. Then we shall discuss you coming back in the future”

You nodded in silence and walked out quietly, you glanced around the team to see that Noah was nowhere to be found.

•••••••

*

“Yes. There is no way a woman would be able to pull this off alone, she would need help and I just have a feeling this is done by one person, a man. An incredibly strong man I might add”

“Nothing yet I’m afraid, who ever this guy is, he certainly knows how to cover himself, but it’s early days…”

*

You had made it back to your apartment, still in shock that you’d been removed from the case, glancing at your laptop in your bag, you wondered if they had restricted your access yet.

“Worth a shot”

You sat down at the desk in your home office and opened up your login, to your surprise it worked! You knew it wouldn’t be long though so you decided to act fast and start copying the files onto a memory card, no way were you completely done with this case.

“I’m missing something I know I am….the victims are all so different but something must connect them surely?”

*

“What are you doing here? How do you even know where I live?”

“Sorry I got your address from your file…”

*

“File…”

It suddenly clicked in your mind to check the police records for all of the victims names, to see if they were on file.

You went through each name one by one in the police database, each time finding out that each of the victims in the case had all been arrested at some point in their lives.

*

•Nina Platt - rape allegations

•Oliver Wicks - petty theft

•The married couple - possession of drugs

•The twins - arrested for fighting when they were younger

•Geoff Birch - known con man

•And the two people having the affair had also been arrested in their past for petty crimes

*

“So that’s how he done it…he used his access to search for their fingerprints to find them and see their history”

*

“All I’m saying is that clearly detective Y/L/N isn’t up for the job, have you seen her recently? She looks like she’s not slept in weeks and isn’t making the right decisions. If I had her position, I’d be doing things so differently, maybe then we’d actually be getting somewhere in this case”

“Do you like my little gift for you angel?”

“How did you even know about him?”

“I have my ways.”

*

You felt sick to your stomach as it really started to dawn on you what was happening.

Each one of the victims had been found on the database…office Blake….was first hand, an impulsive decision on his part.

You felt your breathing increase as you started to piece it all together in your mind.

*ding*

The sound of an email coming through pulled you out of your thoughts, you went into your work email and saw it was one of your officers, they’d sent a link to another case file.

*

“I’ve been thinking that we need to widen our search, who’s to say that the killings started in LA? For all we know, this guy could have moved around, killed before but has never been caught…”

*

Your eyes scanned over the email, taking his the new information…

•Anthony Jackson

•Male

•53 year old

•Found dead in his own apartment slumped at the dinner table, his heart had been removed and was placed in front of the body.

•Resided in Richmond, Virginia US

*

“Detective Noah Davis. New to station within the last month but had an excellent recommendation from his old station in Richmond, Virginia…”

*

“Why this guy? Who was he to you?”

That sickness feeling was manifesting into a very physical thump in your throat, your body was getting warmer and you felt the need for a very strong drink.

*

“How else do you get the message across?”

“And what is the message?”

“To dethrone god”

*

Your head fell into your hands as the realisation hit, you shut your eyes and tried to control your breathing again, your partner on the case, the man you’d come to find a true comfort and a friend. He was the 10 commandments killer.

“What’s the matter detective? Found anything interesting?”

You jumped up at the sound of Noah’s voice to see him standing in the doorway, leaning up against it casually.

Your heart pounded inside your chest, you had to remain calm so you tried to keep your expression neutral.

“Noah…how did you get in here?”

You noticed his appearance was very casual, black long sleeved turtleneck top, black trousers and he had on a pair of black leather gloves.

“The door was unlocked. You really should be more careful, no idea who could be lurking about”

You forced a smile as he stared at you, not once faltering in his gaze.

“It’s been a mad day…I obviously wasn’t paying attention”

You subtly, slowly and instinctively went to reach for your gun on your hip, for your fingers to find nothing.

“Shit! My spare is in my bedroom”

Noah’s eyes had followed your movements, a small smirk starting to form on his lips as he uncrossed his arms and stood up fully.

“What’s the matter, you look nervous?”

You started to slowly step around your desk, trying desperately to think of away around him to get to your room.

“Nervous….why would I be nervous?”

Noah laughed.

“Oh come now detective, don’t let me down now. My little slip up this morning was very…unfortunate”

You stared back into his eyes, no doubt in your mind that he knew, you now knew.

“Although it wasn’t part of the plan yet, here we are…a very….tricky situation”

His words sounded completely menacing as he took another step closer.

“Stay away from me….I know who you are….and you’re not going to get away with this”

Noah laughed once more.

“Oh yeah? And how are you going to stop me?”

Noah suddenly lunged at you, you tried your hardest to dodge him and to get out of his grip but it was too late, Noah’s hand had brought a sweet, chemical smelling cloth to cover your mouth and nose and you knew it was over as you felt your body becoming weaker as you breathed it in.

“Shhhh I’ve got you angel”

You tried to stay awake, but your attempts to fight back slowly came to a stop as your body became limp and your vision went black.

And I just woke up!! What the fuck!!

18+ below the cut

I’m just thinking about soft, slow morning sex with Noah….

Where you’ve woken up but still not quite awake, you’re warm and comfortable under the duvet and you have your blackout curtains shut, almost keeping the real world at bay while Noah is sleeping soundly next to you.

Until he feels you moving and he rolls himself over and cuddles into you.

“Morning beautiful” his voice raspy and deeper than normal.

You don’t have the energy to respond yet but you shuffle yourself back into his embrace and feel him hard against your backside.

Rubbing yourself on him and feeling his hand running along your hip as he presses forward, softly groaning into your shoulder, his lips ghosting your skin.

Both naked from the night before meant that he could slowly lift your leg so he could push forward and rub his head along your folds, feeling how wet you were already.

“Fuck babe….you been dreaming about this?”

You let out a small moan as you feel Noah slip himself in, your walls clenching around him instantly.

He’d set up a slow and deep pace, the feeling of him filling you even more prominent in this position.

“I love this…I can feel every inch of you”

Noah’s hand would be holding your hip and his other arm would sneak around your body to hold you close to him.

“It’s all for you angel, I’m all for you”

You’d hold onto his arm as you’d feel your high getting closer, a very small layer of sweat starting to form on your bodies as Noah started to thrust into harder, his pace getting slightly quicker with need.

“Fuck I love you so much”

You’d feel your stomach tighten at his words, whispering them back and you’d feel your hips starting to jolt, signalling your end was close.

Noah would reach his hand down the front of your body and expertly rub circles on your clit until your body was convulsing against him and you cried out into the crook of his arm that still held you while he emptied himself inside of you with a groan.

Once both of you have caught your breath, you’d relax in his arms.

“Can we stay like this for a while Noah?”

Noah would just hold you into him more and kiss the back of your neck, still comfortably resting inside of you.

“Of course we can beautiful, I couldn’t think of a better way to start my day”

69 with Folio but you're making him feel so fucking good he can't even focus on eating you out and he's just resting his face on your thigh and is bucking his hips into your mouth while moaning and whining abt how good you feel

Alexa play “For Us” by V

I love this, thank you 🥹

Tina, my dear! I hope you’re doing great!

I hoping to request a headcanon of Noah, where the reader moves to California when they’re teenagers, before the days of Bad Omens and they both miss each other deeply. I’ll leave it up to you if they reunite or not.

I’m basing this request off my favorite song right now “For Us by V”

Thank you 😊

@missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @dsireland86 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @exitwoundsx @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @princesspeach-00 @blueskylinesx @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @cookiesupplier @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @pathion @flowery-mess @tashka @Karenfranco @its-inourblood @amelia-acero @xxkittenkissesxx @cncohshit @xserena-13 @collidewiththesavannah @meekahy

With a sigh, Noah pushed the car further down the store isles, tossing in things he needed to fill up the new house.

Him and Jolly recently moved to California in hopes of make the dream of Bad Omens come true. They recently released their self entitled album and knew that Los Angeles is where they needed to be; both nicks staying back home in Virgina.

The dream of making it wasn't the only reason why he needed to come to California.

His heart had been here for the last 10 years after one of his childhood friends moved here.

His first and only love.

His first kiss.

You.

It had been nearly eight years since he last spoke to you, both of you getting lost in life and adulthood that you two drifted apart.

He thought about reaching out to you when he moved here almost six months ago but you had a different number, his original message going undelivered.

I know it's been awhile but I'm moving to L.A and I'd love to see you again, angel.

Another sigh and adjusting the beanie on his head, Noah turned the corner into the other isle that held all of the cleaning supplies.

He was so lost in his thoughts of you that he crashed his cart into another one, the noise echoing loudly in the store.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry," Noah cursed his apology.

"It's alright. I was too busy looking at my list to watch where I was going."

That voice.

Noah's head snapped up from the dirty floor and eyes immediately connected with the pair of dark ones that haunted his dreams for the last ten years.

Even the aged face and longer hair couldn't hide you. Noah knew his first love.

His angel.

You sucked in a breath. "No-Noah?"

His heart was beating so fast, nearly jumping in his throat, he could barley speak your name.

"You look different. A good different," you let out a nervous breath, those almond eyes making you nervous like they always used too.

You could still faintly remember how his lips tasted the first time you two kissed, right before you moved away.

A kiss you thought about for the last ten years.

You thought about reaching out to him when you first heard Bad Omens self entitled album, the proudness nearly bursting through your chest. But you lost all of your contacts when you switched numbers and couldn't remember the last two digits of his number.

"Angel," he finally uttered the nickname that made your head spin.

Link 🔗

GUYS!!!

I’m a share hilarious ass story that I only had the realization for two months ago. I actually watched his streaming. I just was not paying attention because the person who actually watched it was an ex-boyfriend of mine who came over to my house to watch his streams because I have a tv that connects to twitch. He watched his streams so much that it t was just white noise in my room so when I got into Bad Omens earlier this year, I didn’t recognize Noah, like it was not clicking that Twitch Streaming Noah and Bad Omens Noah was the same person. The person who clicked it right away was my little brother and he said it out loud by saying, “isn’t that your gamer boyfriend, Noah?”. (He’s 11 and at the time he was 6-8 years old and never liked my ex, so he took the liberty of calling Noah my boyfriend instead, kids man)

I MISS TWITCH NOAH AND I WASNT EVEN THERE

imagine current noah doing streams 🥺i wanna see him being goofy and make stupid jokes and hear him talk and and

So I may or may not have introduced my manager to Bad Omens, because I wasn’t shutting up today about the Mayhem festival in October. My manager was curious about them asked if I could play one of their songs. So I played Concrete Jungle, Artificial Suicide and Glass Houses, safe to say Bad Omens possibly has a new fan.

Oh love when the “I can fix him” trope doesn’t necessarily work, but there’s still a slight chance! 😍😍

Homegirl come on we can’t be folding that easy!!!

Thou Shalt Not Kill - Chapter 9

AU Noah Sebastian x female reader

18+

Summary: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.

Warnings: talks of death, talks of murder/killings, use of religion, the starting of stockholm syndrome

Right, I really shouldn’t have to write this but I’m giving fair warning now!!

In this chapter we once again MENTION the passing of someone close to Noah (this AU version of Noah!) it’s been briefly used before and no one had any issues with it.

However I am aware of a lot of drama with another account who has used the death of someone who was close to Noah within their story. I’m going to clarify that I have not read this story, I do not intend to read that story and I have no interaction with this person anymore so I really don’t know the details or how much this trauma has been used but from what I’ve seen/heard, it caused a huge uproar.

My dad passed away 10 years ago, I fully understand the soul destroying pain and would never use something so carelessly! But it’s a huge detail that needs to be here. I can assure everyone that it shouldn’t be mentioned again (unless necessary!) and I hope it doesn’t cause any offence, I’m not going into details in this chapter at all, simply mentioning it to help the story progress.

I hope everyone can understand this and I really don’t want any negative comments, an adult discussion is fine if you really need to talk but not these petty trolls that I’ve been seeing please and no passive aggressive posts, they are childish, just message me if you have an issue

Thank you and I hope you enjoy!!

Tags: @Ima1986 @hayleylatour @reyadawn @thatchickwiththecamera @calleyx13 @english-fucker @darling-millicent-aubrey @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsworld @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran @flowery-mess

MASTERLIST

Chapter Index

9 days had gone by, just over a week you’d been stuck in this basement.

It was the same routine most days, Noah would bring you food or make sure a sandwich and drinks were left for you if he knew he wouldn’t be around, you assumed he was still going to work. Noah had mentioned it once that he was keeping up appearances but for how long was anyone’s guess.

Of course your work believed that you were ‘on leave’ so why would they be looking for you? You would have assumed someone would have tried to get hold of you by now but you were sure Noah has probably taken care of that, he was too smart to make any small mistakes and he kept any conversations like that to a minimum.

Noah had taken the time to bring a load of your clothes and toiletries from your apartment, clearly knowing you’d be here awhile. The days were very long at first, you had nothing to simulate your mind, you actually started looking forward to Noah coming in just so you had someone to talk too.

The times when Noah was here, he sat and ate with you normally, acting like you really were just two friends having a catch up, it was almost unnerving how normal it was.

The first few days you’d spent screaming out but no one heard or came, clearly he wasn’t lying about it being soundproofed. You’d analysed the room a thousand times, trying to figure a way out. The window was far too high for you to reach and even if you could, it was too small for you to fit through.

You’d tried to think of ways to over power Noah when he came in but thinking of all the cases and how strong he must truly be to have executed them, you knew that would be suicide.

Once you’d realised that all chances of an escape were slim, you started to accept your fate, you were completely at Noah’s mercy.

In a strange way, you almost relaxed after that, what was the point in stressing out about something you couldn’t change at this stage, you decided it was better to save your energy and strength for when you needed it, you were sure that an opportunity would present itself when the time was right.

The days had become very long after this however, you had counted every crack in the ceiling, tried to get lost in day dreams in your mind but that only worked for so long.

So now seeing Noah was a breath of fresh air within your day.

Noah had been nothing but the perfect gentleman, he made sure you had all the food and drinks needed, he even brought down fresh bedding for you and took away your dirty clothes to bring them back all clean and folded. He made sure you had clean towels for the shower room that was down here. It was almost like he took pride in looking after you.

“He’s holding you hostage you idiot! This ain’t a holiday hotel!”

Noah would talk about most things with you, he’d discuss history, music, art. He was actually so much more interesting and intelligent than you’d ever realised now you were seemingly getting to know him better, although he was very careful about certain subjects such as the case, work, etc.

Today you were lying on your bed, in your mind you were thinking about your favourite holiday that you’d been on, it felt like a life time ago now but you tried to relive it day by day, picturing that you were anywhere but here in this dark basement.

You heard the sound of footsteps so you sat yourself up, maybe a bit quicker then you should have. The door opened and in walked Noah.

“Afternoon angel, how are you doing?”

You decided to be honest with him.

“Bored, I’m so bored. If you’re going keep me here, can I at least have something to do when you’re not here! There’s only so many cracks around the room I can count before I’ve memorised them”

Noah smiled slightly as your attempt at some humour and nodded.

“Actually I’ve brought you some things today. I realised you must be bored with nothing much to do so I picked up some things from your apartment”

With that, Noah lifted up the bag he’d been carrying and he pulled out some of your books from home and an old radio. The gesture actually taking you back.

“I…uhh…thank you”

“Can’t have that brilliant mind going lazy on me now can we?”

You couldn’t help but laugh with him.

•••••

A couple more days had passed, very much the same as before but this time you actually had stuff to keep you occupied during the days.

Noah was still acting like this was a normal situation, there was no mention of the case or anything over the last few days.

There was one thing about the case that still bothered you however, something you hadn’t dared bring up to Noah incase it triggered a bad reaction. But today you decided you had nothing to lose by talking to him about it. So you waited until he came in with dinner for both of you and you were sat eating together before you approached the subject.

“Noah…can I ask you a question? I need to know something”

Noah’s brown eyes met yours as you clearly peaked his interest, he tilted his head as he looked over you.

“Depends what it is but go on”

You took a breath, moving your food to the side and you tried to make sure you worded everything very carefully.

“Your first victim, Anthony…who was he to you?”

Noah’s expression had become harder to read as he stared at you.

You watched him lick his lips before he answered with a small smirk.

“Still not figured that out detective?”

You shook your head.

“I didn’t really have the time….from what I read however, I assume he was the first. ‘Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images’ but who was he to you? That kill seemed more….personal and it was….different….to the others”

Noah didn’t say a word, he simply ran his eyes over your face but you noticed the relax expression from before was gone.

“He’s a killer…not my friend”

He stood up from his position on the bed and paced slowly, almost like he was calculating his next words.

You felt every nerve in your body on edge, you knew the risk of pushing this man but you’ve done it anyways.

“Anthony Jackson was my first kill, and you’re right, he was different….more sloppy I’d say….I’ve definitely improved on my work since”

Noah stalked closer towards you so you made the point of standing up, mostly so he wasn’t completely towering over you.

“You really want to know angel? Very well. My first kill was the man responsible for the death of my father”

Your mouth fell open in shock at his words and you listened intently to what he had to say.

“After all those years of never knowing who was responsible, when I became a police officer I managed to do some digging and I eventually found him” Noah’s face became very hard as he carried on. “It wasn’t easy, but when I realised it was him, I knew I couldn’t let him go. Would you believe that Anthony was a religious man? And yet he got away with murder, it wasn’t fair that he ruined my life and just carried on living his unpunished!”

Noah was stood in front of you now but you didn’t move away, you now understood, you understood why he started this in first place.

“You said you were raised religious…did you stop believing the da…that day?”

“Yes. I knew that there was no such thing as a god if he could take everything away from me”

You nodded as you took it all in, still be very careful not to provoke him.

“I didn’t do anything for years and years, but once I found him, I knew what my purpose was. As I said, I’ll admit it was more sloppy but that’s what they call a ‘crime of passion’ after all”

You were still putting all the pieces together within your mind, all of it was truly starting to make sense now…apart from one thing.

“If he was ‘thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images’ then why his heart? I can understand the fact he was religious but had murdered someone, from the crime scene photo I saw in that email, I could see religious items in the background. But I don’t understand why the heart was your main focus?”

Noah couldn’t seem to stop the sinister smile from spreading on his lips.

“He ripped my heart out so I simply returned the favour”

The memory of your own dad’s passing suddenly felt so fresh in your chest. You couldn’t help but reach your hand out to touch his, the action causing his eyes to follow your movements, clearly not anticipating it.

“I’m so sorry”

For a brief moment, you actually thought you saw genuine emotion in his eyes at your words. You understood the pain of losing a father young and in such a cruel way.

“He was the beginning of my work, it was poorly executed, but it was what gave me my inspiration, to send a message in the most profound way possible and I’ve nearly done it”

Noah raised his hand to your face and ran his fingers over your cheek gently.

“The thing is angel, we are the same me and you, you get me, you’re the only person on my level. You’re just like me”

Your brows scrunched together as you took in his words, in some ways, you knew he was right but the other part of you knew you shouldn’t listen.

“You know I’m right, even if you try to deny it”

You subconsciously leaned your head into his hand as you mulled over his words. You both had gone through terrible things in life, no one really understood you, especially at work. Noah always believed in you, he knew you could do the job better than most.

Looking up you noticed he had his shirt unbuttoned and his tattoo across his neck was on full display, it was then when you truly noticed the religious symbolism.

Without thinking you brought your hand up to his skin and traced the ink with your fingers, hearing his breath catch slightly as you did.

“Easy angel”

You looked back up into his eyes to see they had dilated, your fingers rested on the side of his neck, your stomach twisted in knots. You didn’t even really know what you were feeling as it was all mixed up together in your mind.

Noah leant his down to you and pressed his lips against yours, he was gentle at first but when you didn’t immediately pull away, his other hand wrapped around the back of your neck and he pulled your body against his.

“Wrong, wrong, so very wrong!”

Noah pulled away, his hands still holding onto you as he stared down at you.

“I shouldn’t be doing this”

Noah smiled at yours words and started to stroke your hair before he pressed one more kiss onto your lips.

“Says who? I am starving, you’re starving. I can taste it on you. Who says this is wrong?”

You continued to gaze up at him, your mind in complete overdrive.

“I…I can help you Noah”

“I really wish you could angel”

And with that Noah turned and walked out of the room, the locking sound ringing in your ears.

I saw this post yesterday and I thought “Matt would definitely like this story!” and I just saw his story on insta. 🦝

Oh, this is good!! 😍😍😍

Without you…

Part 1

Warning ⚠️ Sexual content and swearing. Please be advised.

I recommend listening to Rain by Sleeptoken or Like a villain by Bad Omens while reading. Let me know if you do. Enjoy

-Magenta 🌹

************************************************

“Folio! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! This isn't right! You can't keep me locked up here like some fucking princess! I demand to know where my husband is and what the fuck is going on.”

I kicked the door in a failed attempt to try and open it. Of course, it was no use.

“I'm sorry Y/N. Noah’s orders.”

“I swear to fucking God when I get out of here I'm kicking all of your asses!”

I kicked the door one last time to let out the frustration. I couldn’t understand why I had to be locked in the bedroom I shared with Noah and why no one was telling me what was going on. I threw myself on the bed and gently placed my hand on my stomach.

“Congratulations Mrs.Davis you're pregnant!”

The Doctor’s words echoed in my head, making me realize that I was going to have to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I love Noah but this isn't a life that deserves an angel being brought into it. The further he got into the Mafia life, the further he became a stone-cold Demon. The cars and the money were nice, and sometimes they made up for his hurtful words. It worked for a while but it got to the point where the amount of bodies I watched him bury overpowered my luxurious lifestyle needs. I don't want the same for my children. I begged Noah to quit but it was too late, He was too far in and didn't want out anyway.

“This is my Legacy Y/N. I can't just quit now while the entire world is at my feet. I am the fucking King! One day you're gonna give me a son and I'll be able to pass it down. Get fucking use to it because you're NOT going anywhere.”

“Over my dead body, you fucking devil.”

I wiped the tears from my eyes as something strong came over me. I jumped up out of bed and began packing a secret bag. I'm getting out of here one way or another because my baby deserves better. I heard the door unlock and in walked a bloody Noah.

I kicked the bag under the bed in hopes he didn't notice. In the state I'm in, a fight would not play in my favor.

He began to walk over to me with a seductive look on his face. Grabbing me with his rough hand he pulled me into a hug. God this man smelled like death, and I wasn't sure if I could hold in my morning sickness any longer.

“Give me a kiss baby.”

Noah pushed his lips onto mine, I never thought I would be so disgusted with the man who swept me off of my feet. Yet I still give in because some part of me still loves him. Kissing him with tears rolling down my eyes, I pushed back and demanded an answer about what happened.

“We won baby.” Noah said backing away from me and going over to his nightstand to retrieve his “victory” whiskey.

“We took those fuckers out. Bad Omens is officially the head of the Mafia in California..”

“So you think it's over ?” I said crossing my arms.

“I told you. What I say goes. What's your problem anyway? Any other time I take someone out you would be at home here waiting for me with legs wide open.”

“Oh, I don't know Noah, maybe because I was locked in my fucking room like a princess. You had Folio guarding the outside of my room too. So forgive me if my engine is revving up.”

“Heh, princess. Which is exactly what you are Ruby. I had to make sure my most precious jewel was being protected.”

I rolled my eyes and just shook my head giving him a death stare. Noah took one last shot, wiped his mouth, and got up.

“You don't get it, do you ?”

I scoffed at him, this man thinks some cute pet names are going to win me back, he's got another thing coming.

“Get what?” I said leaning up against the wall. Noah came over and picked me up to where my legs were hoisted on his hips. Grabbing my jaw and forcing me to look up at him, I was met with those big brown eyes that once held the secrets of the earth. Now they just show me what Hell looks like

“If anything ever happens to you, this entire empire will come crashing down. I'll lose everything including myself.”

Noah's soft lips met the lower part of my neck. Showering me with sweet kisses, he began to gently slide them up to my lower jaw, feeling his breath as he did so was sending shivers down my spine. I couldn't help but let out a moan that showed him I wanted more. To put the ache that was building up in my lower stomach, I began to roughly kiss him. One last fucking should hold me over, hell it might even make me change my mind.

“Let me taste my ruby.”

Pulling my pants down and tearing my underwear off, I was ready to let him have all of me. Noah using my nickname always made me fall under his spell to the point where any logical thinking left. I was stupid and in love, Noah's fingers began to pay with my now-soaked garden. Moaning and begging for more he happily slipped two fingers inside of me and began smiling because he knew I wouldn't last long. I was getting so close to cuming and being his once again. That is until a knock at our door stopped us mid-finger fucking. Jolly opened the door just in time before I lost all respect for myself and caved in completely.

“Am I interrupting?” Jolly asked eyes wide. I was wondering why he was so shocked until I realized Noah had lifted my shirt exposing my bare breast.

In a quick motion, I yanked my shirt down and moved away from Noah.

“This better be fucking good Jolly,” Noah said lighting a cigarette and leaving the room.

“Wait for me, Ruby.”

Noah shut the door behind him leaving all alone once again. Once I finally pulled myself back together, I felt disgusting. “Get it together and get the fuck out of here.”

I had very little time before he came back so I finished packing and decided to sneak out our balcony. You would think we would have security cameras but no and to be honest I'm thankful we didn't. I made my way down the fence decoration that was up against the house. When I got to the bottom I could hear the guys talking through the kitchen window.

“I don't man, Y/N has been acting weird lately. Nick said he heard her talking about taking a trip. She didn't run that by you or any of us did she ?”

“Fucking hell these assholes were watching me 24/7. And why would I have to run it by the rest of the guys? They're not fucking me at the end of the day.”

I watched Noah take one last drag and flick his cigarette out the window. He shook his head and gave a death glare to all of them.

“The fact that you question the loyalty of the woman who promised me forever is hurtful boys. Y/N knows better than to go anywhere without me. That's how our relationship works and she respects that.”

Hearing that made me feel so guilty, that I almost crawled back up the fence to get back in my room.

“No Y/N you need to do this. It's not about you and Noah anymore. It's about the baby and him not willing to give up this life to keep us all safe.”

I took one last deep breath and made a run for it into the woods. I knew there was a bus stop not too far from here. I just had to get through the woods and down the hill without being caught. As I was running I swear I heard Noah's voice echo

“WHERE ARE YOU!!!!”

“RUUUBBBBBYYYYYY”

Hearing that made me run even faster and tears weld up in my eyes. I've never been more scared for my life. Not only did I leave but I made Noah look like an idiot in front of his boys.

That is unforgivable.

It was like I was in some type of horror movie because the rain began to down pour on me and I was being chased by a literal psychopath. I got to the main road and threw up, when I looked up I saw headlights coming my way. I knew I wouldn't make it to the bus stop because I already heard the four-wheelers tearing through the woods. I flagged down the driver and was relieved when I saw it was a woman.

I ran up to her window and begged her to help me. I made up some bullshit lie that my ex was abusive and I finally got away from him but I was afraid he was still chasing me. Technically, it wasn't all a lie but still enough I could use as a crutch.She was more than happy to give me a ride into town. As I got in the car we drove off, I could have sworn I saw the four-wheelers in the rearview but it was just my anxiety playing tricks on me. I sat back in the seat and finally controlled my breathing.

“Thank you so much “

“Don't worry about it, I'm kind of in the same situation. I was about to turn around and go back to him but seeing you must have been a sign from God.”

“Heh, I guess we are alike,” I said smiling

“What's your name?”

“Ruby. Yours?”

“Sapphire”

“This is insane,” I said gently holding my forehead trying to stop a headache from coming on.

“Where are we heading?” Sapphire asked me

“Wherever you want to go.”

“Well Ruby, we are LA bound. Say hello to the city of Angels and every runaway dream. Cheers to our New lives.”

“Cheers”

***********************************************

Hello my angels, I hope you're all doing well. I'm taking a break from my other two series and starting this one. Don't worry I will go back to them but I couldn't help it. This one had to be published. Anyway I love you all 🩵

Taglist:

@reyadawn @fadingintothegrey @lolitasangel @bloodylullaby @supersquirrel1996 @dreamstyles @thisbicc @lma1986 @aubrey-melinoe @hurricanesfollowyou @tikosblogg @iluvmewwwww75 @concreteemo @chey-h @justanaccounts

I wanna know was this photo hidden from me!!

Excuse me, Mr. Davis, I'm going to need you to come with me. There have been several complaints about you raising the temperature and causing people to melt. Would you care to explain???????? 🫠🫠🫠🫠