Bakugo Brain Rot - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Of Monsters and Men | Bakugo Katsuki x OC
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven |
Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!OC, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, potentially triggering content, universe-typical violence, Enji Todoroki (yes, that is a warning, he's trash), character death, suicidal ideation, (more tags to be added as story develops <3)
Note ~ Hey, Lovelies. Sorry that I've been MIA, I'm kinda going through it and it's been impacting my motivation to write. I am hoping to drag myself out of this funk and get some new stuff out for y'all, though.. Just know that I love and appreciate all of you. <3
Azusa’s brain can’t even fully register what just happened. In the twenty years that she’s been on this godforsaken earth, never has Enji Todoroki ever laid a hand on her. His brand of abuse has strictly been mental and emotional. She’s never even been spanked. But as her brain short-circuits and she cradles her throbbing cheek with one hand, she’s in complete shock. Sounds become muffled and her vision takes on a distortion that makes everything seem surreal. Azusa doesn’t even feel like she’s in her body as she stands up to run out of the room. Enji’s voice rings in her ears, but he sounds distant and his words echo through her mind as she flees.
Unconsciously slamming Enji’s office door behind her, Azusa nearly slams into Bakugo. The two Rangers share a brief look; Bakugo’s eyes wide and an uncharacteristic concern blanketing his features, while Azusa’s face is stuck with shock and her eyes are swimming with fear along with so much more. Before Bakugo can even get a word out of his opening mouth, Azusa bolts for the elevator.
Azusa tries with every conscious thread that she can grasp onto to hold herself together for the entire elevator ride back to the floor her bunk is on. Her chest feels tight and her throat hurts from the strain of swallowing down her sobs and whimpers. When the elevator finally stops she stumbles out of it, ignoring the concerned and off-put looks from others around her as she rushes toward her room. She barely notices Aizawa leaning against the wall next to the door to her bunk, let alone fully registers his voice commanding those around to move on.
Azusa’s entire body is shaking as she struggles to unlock her door and when she finally does, she practically falls into her room. Aizawa catches her before she collapses, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly to his chest. He manages to close the door and the sound of it shutting finally triggers Azusa to break down.
Her sobs come out as choked wails of anguish only muffled by Aizawa’s newly tear-stained shirt. Her hands fist the back of Aizawa’s shirt, her knuckles white from how tight her grip is. She can hear Aizawa trying to speak to her, but his voice sounds like he’s underwater and she can’t think beyond every emotion crashing into her. Her cheek throbs with white-hot, tingling pain every time her face scrunches from another gut-wrenching sob. Suddenly she’s being moved, Aizawa guiding her to her bed and urging her to sit.
“Nonononono, please! Please don’t leave! Please, please, please!” She begs through sobs as she feels Aizawa peeling himself away from her.
Aizawa’s slimmer form gets replaced by someone’s bulkier, more muscular form but Azusa clings to them all the same. It doesn’t take much conscious thought to know that whoever this new person is, isn’t her father. Hesitant arms wrap around her in what would be an awkward and embarrassing hug if she were in her right mind. But she isn’t, instead her entire being is shattering as she wails into an assumed stranger’s chest.
“I’m sorry, kid.. Just, both of you stay here, I’ll be right back.” Aizawa’s apologetic tone cuts through the sound of Azusa’s blood rushing in her ears. She chokes on more pleas for him not to leave and flinches at the sound of her door closing. The arms wrapped around her tighten, but it does little to soothe her rampant emotions.
“H-he hi-hit m-m-me, h-he fucking h-it me..” Azusa stutters out as her shaking increases and her sobs become more guttural.
“I.. I know.” A male voice quietly rasps out and it’s a voice that Azusa is all too fucking familiar with. She tears herself away from the body that she had been pathetically clinging to as mortification shoves its way past all of the other emotions that have torn to the surface. Azusa and the man she’s despised the last two years stare at each other with matching looks of shock. Bakugo’s shock being from her sudden retreat, and Azusa’s shock being from realizing just who she’s been breaking down in front of.
“Ge-get ou-out,” Azusa whispers hoarsely as painful sobs still fall from her mouth, her body subconsciously backing up to the corner of the bed and beginning to curl into itself.
Confused exasperation contorts Bakugo’s features, “No, I- Marshal Aizawa said to-”
“Get out! Get out! Get out! GET OUT!” Azusa begins shouting, choking on sobs and wincing from the pain radiating from her cheek. Her hands come up to grip her hair at the roots as she continues shouting, probably looking like a complete lunatic.
“Todor-” Bakugo tries calling out to Azusa, but using her surname only seems to make her state worsen if the way she shouts “no” over and over again is anything to go off of.
“Damn it- Azusa! I’m not leavin’! I’ve been right on the other side of the door both times he’s yelled at you this week! I’ve been inside your fuckin’ head! I ain’t leavin’ you here like this knowin’ what I know!” Bakugo yells over her shouts.
Between her frayed emotions and her shattered mental state, Azusa doesn’t have it in her to keep arguing with Bakugo. Her throat feels like she’s swallowing glass and there’s a metallic taste on her tongue, but her wails keep coming. Her hands abandon their grip on her hair and move to cover her face. Her pain is intensified as her hand presses against her bruised cheek, but she buries her face in her hands anyway.
“Fuck,” Bakugo curses quietly with tired exasperation already stretched way past his emotionally-stunted limits.
Bakugo unties and kicks his boots off before cautiously crawling across the bed toward Azusa. Feeling the mattress shift, she recoils tighter into herself but Bakugo reluctantly ignores the action. Bakugo situates himself next to her and leans back against the wall, stretching his legs out. He spreads them out and gently pulls Azusa into the space between them, avidly ignoring how embarrassed and awkward the position makes him feel. She resists a bit but ultimately relents to lean her body against the front of his, her head resting against his chest as she continues to shake and sob. Bakugo lets his head fall back to softly rest against the wall and he looks up to the ceiling as a heavy sigh leaves him.
Azusa flinches slightly when Bakugo’s arms wrap around her body, his hands coming up to gently pull hers from her face. She’s starting to feel the exhaustion creep in but she can’t stop crying and all of the pain she’s feeling, emotional and physical, won’t relent. Her sobs have calmed down the tiniest bit, at least to the point that she isn’t choking on them anymore and she can kind of breathe.
“I-I wish th-that day w-would have ha-happened the way tha-that i-it should h-have..” Azusa cries and stutters out, and she feels Bakugo’s breath hitch in his chest.
“Don’t say shit like that.” Bakugo says in a quietly firm tone after a moment of silence, and it’s all Azusa needs to know that he understands what day she’s talking about.
“I-I mean it.. Y-you al-ready know..” Azusa cries with anguish.
Suddenly, her bunk door opens causing both her and Bakugo to startle. Aizawa walks in and Azusa wastes no time in detaching herself from Bakugo’s hold, and moving to the edge of the bed toward one of the only people in the world that’s ever made her feel safe and comforted.
“He already knows what, kid?” Aizawa questions, softly for Azusa’s sake, as he makes his way toward her with an ice pack in hand.
Aizawa hands the ice pack to Azusa, quietly telling her to gently hold it against her face. She takes the ice pack without a word, doing as she was instructed as she leans forward to rest her forehead against his chest. Aizawa may not have ever had kids of his own, but with Azusa being like a daughter to him, or at the very least a niece, he feels comfortable enough to be soft around her. Comfortable enough to let her cry against him, and to soothingly run a hand over her hair to try to calm her crying.
Aizawa’s eyes shift from Azusa to Bakugo who sits in place with a shaken look on his face. Bakugo’s eyes connect with Aizawa’s but all he does is silently shake his head at the Marshal’s questioning gaze. Aizawa lets out a quiet and tired sigh before looking down at Azusa, noticing that the poor girl’s sobs have finally calmed down to a less intense level of crying.
“Zusa, you should try to get some rest. You’ve been through a lot today, kid. Let your mind take a break for a bit,” Aizawa gently suggests and Azusa’s hand curls tighter into the bit of his shirt that she's gripping weakly at his side.
“H-he hit m-me, Sh-shota.. s-sl-slapped m-me.. I-I’ve never s-seen him so an-angry.. I-I’m usually s-so careful t-to not m-make h-him so-” Azusa stutters out weakly sounding absolutely broken.
“Sshh, sshh, Azusa, I know..” Aizawa says with forced calm, his inner rage reaching a boiling point with how fed up he is with Enji. “Bakugo, you can go. I’m going to stay with her a bit until she falls asleep, then I have some business to take care of.” Aizawa says, looking at Bakugo who still hasn’t moved from his spot or wiped the shaken look off of his face.
Bakugo seems to snap back into reality at Aizawa’s words and he forces a look of neutrality on his face, “Sir, I.. I don’t have anything that requires my attention at the moment. I can stay with her while you go attend to.. business.” Bakugo's voice is even as he speaks, but his fists clench tightly where they rest and his eyes burn with anger.
Aizawa studies him for a moment, pondering if that would be a good decision, but then he feels Azusa’s hand release it’s grip some and her body slumps a bit. He can feel a barely-there nod against his chest and he takes that as her being okay with that course of action.
“Fine. But if she needs me to come back here then I expect you to call me immediately. You may have been inside her head a couple of times now, Bakugo, but you don’t know what she’s had to deal with or the shit I’ve had to keep my mouth shut about, per her request, all of these years.” Aizawa’s slightly threatening tone makes Bakugo’s eyes widen a bit, but he nods his head in understanding. Aizawa gently urges Azusa to lean back and he carefully pulls her hand away from her face to inspect her swollen cheek. Anger blazes in his eyes and his jaw clenches, but he remains soft and careful in his movements and words of reassurance.
“Keep that ice on there for a bit longer, then try to get some rest okay, kid? I’ll come back in a bit with something from the Mess Hall.” Aizawa says quietly as he meets Azusa’s eyes.
“Okay.. Thank you, Shota,” Azusa quietly rasps out and reluctantly pulls away from him completely. Aizawa accepts the thanks with as much brokenhearted grace as he can muster as he gently pats her head a couple of times before stepping back.
“Bakugo, a moment?” Aizawa demands slightly as he opens the door. Bakugo is quick to get off of Azusa’s bed, leaving her with room to lay down and pull the blanket over herself, and he follows Aizawa to just outside of the bunk.
“I don’t know what kind of reconciliation or cease fire you two have put into place for the time being, but do not pick a fight with her right now,” Aizawa borderline threatens once again. “And we will be discussing what exactly you both were talking about right before I got back. Understood, Ranger?”
“Yes, Sir,” Bakugo says, slightly intimidated, and Aizawa firmly nods before turning to walk away.
“Oh, and Marshal?” Bakugo calls out making Aizawa pause and turn around, “Give him hell.” Bakugo says with angered seriousness.
Aizawa gives him another more determined nod before turning back around and walking away. Bakugo walks back into Azusa’s bunk and tries to close the door as quietly as he can, not wanting to startle her.
Azusa is lying on her side, her uninjured cheek squished against her pillow, and occasional shivers run down her body both from the cold ice pack and her fried emotions. She can feel her mind sinking into the safety that numbness promises and she looks up at Bakugo with almost emotionless eyes. She can only imagine the mess that she looks like right now, but at this point she finds herself uncaring.
“You can sit wherever you’d like, just don’t go through my shit.” Azusa rasps out and Bakugo gives an annoyed roll of his eyes before sitting himself down in her desk chair.
“Why the hell would I want to do that? We’re co-pilots, remember? Being inside your brain is enough.” Bakugo snarks, albeit with less heat than usual, and Azusa would roll her eyes if she had the strength.
A few moments of silence passes by before Azusa speaks again, “Anything you tell Sho- Marshal Aizawa won’t be anything he hasn’t heard directly from me before.. So, if you were stressed or something about the talk you guys will be having later, then don’t be.”
Bakugo looks at her with slightly widened eyes both from her admittance and from the near-emotionless tone of her voice. He schools his expression back into one of neutrality as he crosses his arms and looks at the ceiling, “Wasn’t stressed about it, so just try to sleep, ‘kay?”
“Whatever, Bakugo,” Azusa quietly replies, her eyes drifting shut. There’s another moment of silence before Bakugo catches what she says just barely above a whisper;
“Thank you..”
~~~~~~~~~~
Azusa groggily wakes up some time later to the sound of her bunk door opening and the hushed sound of voices talking. One of her eyes opens with ease while the other struggles to open halfway due to the swelling from her injured cheek. She groans as a yawn tries to escape her mouth, her cheek and the sore muscles underneath fiercely protesting such an action. The low voices quiet as Azusa slowly sits up, her fingers running through her hair attempting to tame it.
Everything that happened earlier tries to batter her freshly awakened brain, but Azusa is quick to throw up her walls despite how weak they are. “What time is it?” She asks without looking at the other two people in her room, her voice still hoarse yet emotionless. She hears the familiar sound of Aizawa’s signature tired sigh and her eyes shift to look at him.
“Bakugo, just go. They’re still serving food in the Mess Hall, then you need to get some rest, you both will be attempting another Drift trial tomorrow.” Aizawa says to Bakugo before turning to Azusa.
Azusa watches as Bakugo clenches his fists and his teeth grit together. She woke up too late to catch any significant pieces of the two’s conversation, but judging by Bakugo’s obvious agitation it wasn’t anything light. The blonde doesn’t put up much of a fight as he leaves Azusa’s bunk without a word, closing the door surprisingly calmly behind him as he goes.
“It’s a little past seven. I brought you some food, it’s not anything fancy just whatever was easy to carry.” Aizawa quietly informs her, stepping closer then sitting at the edge of her bed. “..You feeling a bit better after some rest, kid?”
Azusa silently takes the food from Aizawa’s hands and numbly unwraps the sandwich, “I feel fine. Thanks for the food.” She says, her tone still blank but she visibly winces as she takes a small bite of her sandwich.
Aizawa looks at her with a sad look in his eye and another sigh, “I know that you’re not fine, kid. You don’t have to shut down like this, not in front of me. Here, take these pain meds and drink some water.”
Azusa’s walls begin to crumble at Aizawa’s gentle tone and her hands shake as she sets her sandwich down, then takes the pain pills and water bottle. She chokes down the medicine and water as her whole body begins to tremble from the force of trying to hold back more sobs. Picking up her sandwich again she tries to continue eating, ignoring the tears starting to roll down her face.
Aizawa raises one of his arms, silently extending the offer of comfort that he knows Azusa needs right now. She doesn’t waste any time in repositioning herself, abandoning her sandwich to cling to Aizawa’s side. She buries her face into his chest despite her cheek screaming in pain.
A million thoughts race through her mind, battering against her skull as she cries. Is she really cut out for this? Would Toya be disappointed in her? Would she really be all that upset if Enji kicked her out of the Jaeger program? Why is Enji so angry at her all the time? Has she really pushed him to his limits? Is he going to hit her again? She.. she wishes..
“I wish you were my dad instead of him..” Azusa’s thoughts begin pouring from her mouth in broken stutters. “E-Enji hates me! Every m-move I make sets him off! I-I-I don’t get it! Wh-why have kids if you were going to make it clear that they were unwanted in the first place??”
Azusa can feel Aizawa’s breath hitch and his arm wraps around her tighter. As his other arm comes up to wrap around her, Azusa catches sight of his hand. It’s visibly swollen and his knuckles look split but they aren’t bleeding, at least not anymore. Distantly, a sick satisfaction settles in the back of her mind thinking about the shiner Enji must be sporting right now.
“I’m so sorry, kid.. sorry that you got stuck with a monster for a father.. sorry that I’ve kept my stupid mouth shut about his behaviors for so long.. I feel that I’ve failed you just as much as he has..” Aizawa says quietly, his defeat and guilt evident in his tone. He hugs her tighter and gently rests his chin on the top of her head.
Azusa shakes her head slightly, “Please don’t.. y-you’ve helped me and my siblings a lot over the years.. They wouldn’t, and I don’t, blame you for not wanting to interfere with another person’s career even with how that person treats their family.. it’s not like there’s ever been much proof.. except for now, I guess, since he’s decided to start getting physical..” She whispers out between sniffles and her unending crying.
Aizawa cringes slightly at Azusa’s words, but he knows that she’s right. Enji’s game has always been verbal abuse behind closed doors. There hasn’t been a chance to get proof in the past, but even now it would difficult to prove that it was Enji that hit Azusa. It’s an overall shitty situation.
Aizawa doesn’t say anything more, his heart hurting for Azusa. He just continues to hold her tightly as he ponders reporting Enji and whether or not the rest of the Todoroki family would be okay with that.
Note ~ Hit the ask button and leave me angsty prompts/ideas, pretty please. <3
Taglist ~ @tomiokasecretlover
Hey! This is my first time requesting anything and I was wondering if you could write an angst oneshot where Bakugou cheats with like Uraraka or Kiri, fem!reader finds out about it by herself, she connected all the dots without anybody’s help and keeps it to herself before she confronts him about it? Thank youuu
Alright Lovelies, please pay attention to this, especially the wonderful Lovely that sent in this ask..
I wrote it. I need to go through it, proof read, and edit, but it's done.. But it's heavy, I mean heavy HEAVY angst.. the type of heavy that comes with the "don't read this if not in the right state of mind" trigger warning.. and it's really making me second guess posting it.
I really didn't mean for it to get so dark, but I got lost in the plot, I guess.. I understand that I can change it, and I might, but I want opinions.
So, please help me out, Lovelies. <3
The Greatest | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader
The Ask/Inspo for this fic can be found in this post.
TRIGGER WARNING - !!SUICIDE!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND AND PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEBODY IF YOU NEED HELP! YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU DO MATTER!
Additional Tags ~ Fem!Reader, cheating, bad mental health, HEAVY ANGST, hurt no comfort, mentions of blood, Idk let me know if I should add other tags..
Being in love with and loving Katsuki hasn’t always been easy. He can be loud, brash, and uncaring of hurting one’s feelings. Sure, he’s matured over the few years it’s been since graduating from UA, but he’s still rough around the edges. Even so, his personality didn’t scare you away back then at UA, and it surely doesn’t now.
When you first met Katsuki, you were a Support Course student. You were in the top three for your class, and just as ambitious as Mei Hatsume. Though you were far more tame than the pink-haired girl, the two of you became very close friends. You were, and still are, the hidden crazy to Mei’s in-your-face crazy. Your friendship with her along with her oblivious, borderline ditzy way of going about things were the driving reasons behind you almost asking her to swap who you’d been assigned with from Hero Course 1-A.
As it had turned out, swapping wasn’t allowed, so you had been stuck with making and fixing support gear for UA’s most explosive student. There was a lot of clashing of personalities at the start of your partnership, but after proving yourself to him, he managed to tone his attitude down some. Not long after he had managed to get over himself, there were a lot of after-school costume discussions. As well as many times Katsuki just silently and intently watched you work on his gauntlets, observing and learning what he could fix himself. Naturally, after all that time spent together, you couldn’t help but fall for him at least a little bit.
Unfortunately, you never had the guts to say anything to him, plus you realized just how focused he was on being a hero. Then graduation came and you both went your separate ways, your previous partnership nothing more than a school assignment. That happened with nearly all of the other partnerships between the Hero Course and the Support Course. You were just sad that you hadn’t gotten to see Katsuki one last time, to wish him well or tell him you enjoyed working with him or something..
~~~~~~~~~~
As the years went by after graduation, you worked your way through different levels of Support Gear Engineering with a decently known company. You weren’t surprised when Mei was able to get her own company up and running in that time. It also wasn’t a surprise when Mei asked you to come work for her. You agreed in a heartbeat and not long after, Mei signed a contract with DynaDeku Agency. Suddenly, you were seeing Katsuki almost every other day versus the rare night out that Mei would drag you to with Deku and his friends. But seeing him more only worsened your.. pining.
Conversations were always work-related, never anything more than talks of new gear or upgrades to current gear. It’s not like you never tried to push for a more casual conversation. But every ‘How’s your day going’ was met with a silent and questioning glare. You hid your feelings of hurt and rejection with warm smiles every time.
You kept your admiration to yourself. You cheered Katsuki on from the sidelines like you were nothing more than any of his other fans he’d never met. But you longed for him to see you as more than ‘that one support chick’ as he so eloquently referred to you as more often than not. You longed for him to see you. Instead, you watched as he took his sights off of his hero career for a moment just to look toward his fellow hero, Uravity.
In the short time that they were together, you had thought that they had made an odd couple. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you just felt like they weren’t very right for each other. The feeling wasn’t entirely from a place of jealousy, you’d honestly thought you maybe wouldn’t fit any better with him, despite your feelings for him. There was just something about them being together that hadn’t made a whole lot of sense to you.
You’d figured that they must have discovered what it was because just a few months after they announced their relationship to friends, they broke up. Neither of them was all that torn up about it, which you had found odd, at least when it came to Uraraka. The pink-cheeked woman hadn’t been the mess that you’d thought she’d be considering how borderline clingy she had been with Katsuki. Instead, whenever you saw her at nights out with everyone, she was smiling and bubbly like nothing ever happened.
You didn’t waste any real time picking apart either hers or Katsuki’s behaviors, though. It wasn’t any of your business, and quite frankly, you didn’t care about how Uraraka moved on with her life. In all honesty, a secret part of you was just happy to once again have the chance to try to put yourself on Katsuki’s radar. You had mustered up all of your courage and confidence to put yourself out there a little bit more. It felt like it had taken forever, but finally, your efforts were noticed. The day Katsuki asked you out to dinner was so surreal that you couldn’t believe that it wasn’t just a dream.
~~~~~~~~~~
It’s been a little over seven months since that first date. At the start of your relationship, things were a bit awkward but fun and quite surprising. You were secretly shocked to find out just how sweet Katsuki can be in his own way. You’d learned that he speaks through actions, and not so much through words. You’d learned that behind closed doors, he’s calm and gentle and caring.
Those first few months were full of enough sappy moments to make even Cupid sick to his stomach. There were nights of home-cooked meals made by Katsuki’s very talented hands. Rare coinciding days off from work were spent watching movies and cuddling. Passionate moments of heated kisses and love-making. It used to make your head spin just how loving Katsuki could be. But every couple moves out of the honeymoon phase and learns something more about each other.
What’s the thing you’ve learned within the last three months? Katsuki Bakugo is a fucking liar.
That warm, loving, cared-for feeling that used to spread through your chest has grown cold. You’ve gotten good at faking it though, plastering a loving smile on your face when you’re with him. Feigning that warm tone whenever you tell him that you love him. It’s not that you don’t, not that you’ve stopped loving him.. It’s just gotten hard to say those three stupid words since that first lie slid so easily off of his tongue.
You suppose that you could say that you’ve also learned that with all of his smarts, Katsuki is fucking stupid. It seems that in the years since being partners at UA, your loving boyfriend has forgotten what your Quirk is and what it does.. Because you can’t imagine that he would be doing what he’s doing with that kind of knowledge at the forefront of his brain.
Your Quirk is called Polygraph. Whenever somebody lies to you, your Quirk will automatically activate, resulting in a spike in your heart rate. It’s the kind of Quirk you know would have been useful in police work, but you’ve always had a love for inventing things. Your Uncle Naomasa still tries to get you to switch careers, despite the name you’ve made for yourself in the Support Engineering world.
One would think that with Katsuki having to work with the police, mainly Detective Naomasa Tsukauchi, that he would remember a detail such as your Quirk. Or how about the fact that most boyfriends remember their girlfriend’s fucking Quirk, flashy or not?? But with every lie that comes out of his mouth about where he’s going or who he’s hanging out with or who is fucking texting him, it’s painfully apparent that he doesn’t. He just speaks and you have to ignore the spike in your heart rate and paint on an oblivious smile.
~~~~~~~~~~
You feel almost numb when Katsuki kisses you goodbye. He tells you that he’ll have to stay late at the office to do some paperwork and your heart rate spikes at the lie. You fake a pout as you nod, and he sends you a smirk.
“Promise to make it up to you, so wipe that sexy lil pout off your face. C’mere,” he says, making your stomach churn unpleasantly, before pulling you into a hug.
“Be safe out there,” you murmur against him, and you mean it despite knowing that he isn’t being truthful about staying out late.
“Always am, Sweetheart. Enjoy your day off, ‘kay? Love you.” He murmurs back before kissing your forehead, and you bite back nausea as you tell him you love him. As you watch him leave, you ask yourself for the billionth time how isn’t he lying about loving you when he’s doing something that would make it so obvious that he doesn’t even care about you.
You wait your usual 30 minutes to an hour after he leaves, making sure that he doesn’t come back because he forgot something, before grabbing your laptop. You sit back down on the couch with the device in your lap and numbly navigate to the locked file you have hidden away. You click on it, enter the password, and then pull up the contents of the file. You stare at the hundreds of screenshots you’ve collected over the last three months of conversations and photos, nearly emotionless. After a couple of moments, when you start to feel the sting of tears welling up in your eyes, you open your web browser. You sign into the secret email you created when you first started gathering evidence of Katsuki’s infidelity. Once you’ve signed in, you make quick work of adding the most recent screenshots you’ve gotten to the file.
The heartbreaking shock of discovering that it’s Uraraka that Katsuki has been seeing behind your back has long since worn off. The whole damn situation has just become some sick kind of surreal. You’ve repeated her name so much in your mind that it doesn’t even seem like a real name anymore. You’ve read so many dirty messages between the two of them that the rage has turned to cold numbness. You’ve seen both of their nudes so many times by now that Uraraka’s bare body doesn’t bring up the repulsion you once felt. It all just makes you feel so far past hurt that all you can truly feel is numb.
You watch as the screenshots load into the file, your eyes blankly scanning over words until your gaze catches. You stare at a specific message you hadn’t noticed when you’d gone through Katsuki’s phone to collect more evidence. A single line standing out from the rest of Uraraka’s messages to your boyfriend;
“I still love you, Kats..”
That single line throws you over the edge you were teetering on. You practically throw your laptop onto the couch cushions as you rush to get up. You barely make it to the bathroom, crashing to your knees in front of the toilet as you vomit. Tears stream down your face as your body tries to expel everything inside of you. Your nose runs as your throat burns, and you dry heave a few times as sobs rip from your chest. You wipe your mouth and nose with toilet paper, then shift to sit against the bathtub. Loud, painful, and anguished sobs echo off of the bathroom walls. You don’t even know what Katsuki had said in response to her confession, but you don’t need to know. The fact that he’s still sneaking off to sleep with her is telling enough. Stomach acid burns at your throat again as the message flashes behind your tightly screwed eyelids, and you heave into the toilet once more.
When you finally feel like there’s nothing more for your stomach to expel, you wipe your face. The tears and sobs continue relentlessly as you stand, flush the toilet, then make your way to the sink. You rinse your mouth out, the minty mouthwash burning more than usual before you spit it out. As you straighten back up, wiping your mouth on the hand towel, you lock eyes with your disheveled reflection. Suddenly, you’re seeing red as all of your rage floods your mind and body. A scream tears from your throat as your fist flies into the mirror, shattering it. Your mind clears a bit as you stare down at the shattered glass. Your now bleeding hand looks like it should hurt, but you don’t feel the split knuckles or cuts from the glass. All you can feel is the emotional turmoil that’s consumed your very being.
You make your way back to the living room, leaving the mess of glass and blood in the sink. You stumble the whole way back to the couch, tripping over your feet and your knees giving out from how hard you’re sobbing. You practically fall onto the couch, grabbing your phone off of the coffee table, uncaring of the blood you’re getting on the device. With shaking hands, you unlock your phone, navigating through your contacts while half-blind from tears. You hit the call icon as soon as you reach the contact you’ve been searching for.
“Pleasepleasepleaseplease-” You mutter, you pray, between sobs as the line rings.
“Too busy with my babies! Leave a message I may or may not listen to!” Mei’s voicemail message chirps brightly into your ear, and a whining sob leaves your throat as the beep rings out and cues you to leave a message.
“I-I Lo-love y-you, M-Mei.. P-pl-please, al-ways re-remember th-that..” You stutter and sob out before hanging up and burying your face in your hands.
After a few moments of soaking your hands in tears, you bring your head up. With closed eyes, you roll your shoulders back, wipe your hands on your pants, and try to take deep and even breaths. Only once you’ve regained some sense of calm and control over yourself, do you open your eyes. You let your mind sink back into that comfortable numb you’ve grown acquainted with over time. You stand up from the couch and almost robotically, you head for the storage closet. It takes a bit of digging through boxes, but you finally find them.. Letters to your closest family members and friends.
The letters are abandoned products of your deepest, darkest secret. You have been struggling for years now. To everyone around you, even your parents, you’re kind and happy and kind of shy and stable.. But the you in the mirror knows about every single self-deprecating, withering, hatred-filled thought. Something in your mind is broken, always had been, but it never needed to be anyone else’s problem. You are the only one who has ever needed to worry about the fact that you’ve had one foot hanging off of the edge. Besides, you’re the only one who can keep yourself from giving in to the call of an unseen dark abyss, its voice warm and holding promises of relief.
You carefully lay the letters out on the kitchen table. You grab your laptop from the couch and place it neatly on the table. You pause for a moment and look down at yourself. You make your way to the bedroom and change into your favorite outfit because fuck that if you were going to die in your damn pajamas.
You make your way back to the table and unconsciously go through the steps of sending the file of evidence you’ve collected to Katsuki and Uraraka. You contemplate sending the file to your shared friends for one spite-filled moment, but ultimately decide against it. You set your laptop settings to stay on and unlocked, plug the charger into it, and pull up the note that has passwords to all of your various accounts. Who knows what people might need when you’re gone?
With one last painful glance around the apartment, you head for the door. You slip on your favorite pair of shoes and leave the apartment. You make your way to the roof of the complex, which is a far easier task than you feel like it should have been. You walk to the edge and take off your shoes, placing them neatly off to the side. Climbing up onto the ledge, the wind blows lightly and it actually feels exhilarating as you fully stand up. You startle when your phone begins ringing, and you can’t recall when you slipped it into your pocket. Taking it out, a small bout of manic laughter leaves your lips at the caller ID. When you slide the accept icon, a streak of blood follows. Apparently, your hand hasn’t stopped bleeding and that makes you laugh harder for some reason.
“Hey Love, what’s-” You begin deliriously before being cut off.
“What’s with this email, Sweetheart? H-how did you..” Katsuki with an uncharacteristic quietness to his voice, with feigned confusion to cover the guilt.
Every emotion drains from you in an instant and your grip on your phone tightens, “Don’t play dumb, Katsuki. Everything in that email came directly from your phone.” You say in a tone so cold and emotionless that it makes Katsuki take in a sharp breath, and at the sound, you feel a dulled flicker of pride at catching him off guard.
“Baby-” he starts with a slight shake in his voice, but all the pet name does is make you see red all over again.
“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU CALL HER THAT TOO!” You scream, and your voice echoes off of the structures around you.
A strangled sort of half laugh, half sob leaves your mouth, and you screw your eyes shut, “Oh my, sorry for yelling.. Uhm, you asked ‘how’ earlier, and I assume you meant to ask fully how I found out. Well, I’ve known that you’ve been seeing her since that first lie you told months ago. It’s sort of crazy to think that for as long as we’ve known each other, you’ve seemed to have forgotten what my Quirk is, Love.” From even-toned to words bathed in malice, your rage and pain-fueled instability makes even you dizzy.
“..Y/N, please.. I.. I love you..” Katsuki says, and your manic laughter returns from how pathetic he sounds.
“It still baffles me that somehow that isn’t a fucking lie, too! You wanna know something, Katsuki? For years, I admired and adored you. For years, I waited for you to want me too! Then, when you finally did want me, I gave you all of my love! I made it all look fucking painless! The unappreciation! The wanting of someone who couldn’t even be bothered to remember my fucking name most of the time! The suffering through my darkest thoughts! Life has put me through so much shit, but fuck it if I wasn’t the fucking greatest!!” You’re breathless by the end of your spiel, more manic laughter mixing with your anguished sobs. The sound of a car honking below you makes you jolt, and you choke on a sharp gasp as your balance goes off-kilter for a moment.
“Y/N, where the fuck are you right now?! I’m on my way home, just-” Katsuki rushes out, and you become conscious of the sound of his car engine revving in the background of the call.
“Tell everyone that I’m sorry and that I love them. I love you, Katsuki Bakugo. Goodbye.” You say with an eerie and quiet calm, and as you bring the phone down from your ear you can hear him screaming until you hang up.
You turn slightly to drop your phone onto your shoes, then turn back to look out over the city. ‘Such a beautiful view..’ You think with a small smile as you let your body tip forward. You close your eyes as you fall, the sound of air rushing past you thundering in your ears. It feels like you’re falling for seconds and decades before everything goes black.
You feel nothing..
No more pain..
No more suffering..
Just the soothing warmth of the black abyss that’s been calling your name for so long.
Note ~ Thank you to the Lovely Anon who sent in the ask, I'm sorry that I got so dark with this one.. Please make sure that you're taking care of yourselves, Lovelies. And if you feel like no one else does, just know that I love and appreciate you. <3
Divider Credit: @anitalenia
The Greatest | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader
Part One | Part Two
Tags/Warnings ~ angst, hurt no comfort, talks of death, grieving, let me know if I should tag anything else..
Note ~ Alrighty Lovelies, here is part two with Bakugo's and Hatsume's reactions. I might do another part with Uraraka's and other's reactions, but at this time I don't have a feel for writing the requested characters yet except for maybe Midoriya.. I'll try my best to write something out, I just want it to be good enough for you all.. Anyway, enjoy the read <3
Katsuki can feel the burn of stomach bile sitting at the back of his throat, his stomach churning painfully with insurmountable guilt, regret, and self-blame. His eyes stare unblinking at your closed casket, the muffled and distant sound of your parents crying next to him echoing in his ears. They don’t know that he’s the real reason why there couldn’t be an open-casket service.. They don’t know that he’s the real reason why there’s a funeral service being held for you in the first place.. They don’t know that he’s nothing but a bastard who didn’t deserve their daughter.
Flashbacks to the day you ended your life fill Katsuki’s vision when he dissociates as he continues staring at your casket. Day and night, awake and asleep, it all haunted him; the horrible images, the echoing screams, the nauseating smell of blood.. He had been a few minutes too late. He had just gotten out of his haphazardly parked car, panicked and intent on racing up to the apartment you shared with him, when he saw the growing crowd of horrified bystanders. Everything seemed to drain from Katsuki’s body the moment he saw them, and he numbly made his way over to the side of the building where they were gathering.
A few people were crying, a couple were vomiting off to the side, and someone wouldn’t stop screaming. Everything had felt surreal, like it was a terrible nightmare, as Katsuki moved past people to get to you. When he had gotten to the front of the crowd, all of the bystanders moving back and believing that Pro Hero Dynamight was there to help somehow, Katsuki just froze. He just watched with numb disbelief as an elderly woman laid a handkerchief over your face and whispered a prayer for you. He spent a moment or two convincing himself that the broken body in front of him wasn’t you until he saw the bracelet he’d given you for your birthday sitting on your blood spattered arm.
That was when he had lost it, when every emotion had hit him all at once. Pictures and videos from that day haunt him just as much as the memories. The moment he fell to his knees with tears dripping down his face and mouth open in a silent scream. The moment he had to turn away so as to not vomit on or near your body. The moment he sat on the bloody ground next to your body and held your cold, dead hand until the police got there. Even the video of Izuku and Kirishima pulling Katsuki away from your body as paramedics zipped you up in a body bag still circulated his social media feeds as much as it had when it was first posted.
But he deserved to be reminded of that day, didn’t he? The way he sees it is that he’s practically the one who pushed you off of that roof. If he hadn’t started seeing Ochaco again behind your back, then maybe he could have the woman he actually loves in his arms again. He still can’t find a good excuse for why he started sleeping with Ochaco. She had been a lot of firsts for Katsuki; first relationship, first kiss, first time sleeping with someone.. Sure, he had heard that it’s hard for people to truly let go of the person who they shared “firsts” with, so maybe that’s why he slept with her. Even with all of the firsts he shared with Ochaco he didn’t feel for her what he felt for you, he didn’t love her.
But his shitty excuses or vows to continue loving you even though you’re gone will never clear him of being a lying, cheating bastard. If he could have just one more chance to start over and be a better man, not that he would deserve it, but you deserved so much more from life. You deserved to do the things you loved. You deserved good times with friends and family. You deserved to be loved by someone light-years better than Katsuki will ever be. You deserved brighter days lived without the silent pain and suffering.
Looking around at every single person that showed up to mourn the loss of your beautiful presence, Katsuki knows. Listening to your family, Hatsume, and others speak about you and the happiness you brought into their lives, Katsuki knows. Standing up in front of everybody suppressing the urge to vomit up his guilt and stuttering through his own final words to and about you, Katsuki knows..
You truly were the greatest.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was a known fact since that almost nothing could pull Mei Hatsume away from her work. Not people, not basic human necessities, not even the fear of war. Her drive was incomparable to anything most have ever seen before. It concerned most people, but then there was you. Yes, you were concerned for the pink-haired girl’s well-being, ever since the day you two had become friends. But you were the only one willing to stay right by Mei’s side providing support, sustenance, and help when needed. Even if you two didn’t talk very much during times when either of you were so focused on a project, there was still a blanket of comforting silence.
All of that is gone, now.
Being able to bounce ideas off of each other, gone. Having you stop by the shop to check on her and bring her food, gone. Sleepovers spent watching inventor documentaries all night, gone. The rare lunch break spent at yours and Mei’s favorite cafe, gone. The only person that’s ever felt like a sister to Mei, gone. Gonegonegonegonegonegone- everything is just fucking gone!
Mei has never felt so empty, so coldly numb, before in her life. She’s sitting by your parents, and every sound is muted like her head is underwater. She stares at your coffin, numbly unaware of the tears flowing down her face. It feels like her Quirk is active, her field of vision filled with what may or may not be the zoomed in view of your glossy black casket, and nausea tugs at her stomach. The heavily weighted emotions that came with the news of your death try to break through her numbness, and makes her skin crawl.
She’s moved through every stage of grief a million times over by now, her mind unable to comprehend that you’re just gone. There’s a constant back and forth within her brain of “how could she have not noticed your pain” and “you never showed your pain” with a bit of the fact that Mei knows that she buries herself in her work. She doesn’t know if her guilt is justified or not. The occasional glance at Bakugo and seeing him practically drowning in guilt and regret does and doesn’t help with justifying her own feelings. Mei was your best friend long before Bakugo was your boyfriend, she should have known you were struggling.
The day you died, Mei hadn’t even known that you, or anyone else, had tried to get a hold of her until damn near 1 AM when she finally left the workshop. She had grabbed her stuff from her office and dug her nearly dead phone out of her bag with a tired but accomplished smile on her face. She has always been used to having tons of notifications clouding her phone screen, with the way she worked herself, it was normal. So, she had made her way through the agency building humming and navigating through her phone to get to her voicemail. One from you; normal. A few from Izuku; not entirely out of the norm for when he had a new idea for gear or when he was being Mr. Caring Boyfriend. One from your parents.. that was the one that caused an uneasy feeling to churn in her stomach. Because as much as your parents loved Mei and vice versa, phone calls were rarely ever exchanged.
Mei listened to your voicemail first. Listening to how broken you sounded, that was the start of her world shattering around her. Then she listened to the voicemail your parents left. The gut-punch that the word “gone” had delivered knocked the breath from her lungs, and she could barely make out the tear-filled apologies spoken by your mother. By the time Mei finally got to Izuku’s voicemails, she was on her knees in the lobby of the agency, sobbing. She still isn’t sure how managed to call Izuku with the state she was in, all she could do was break.
Now, she’s here; standing in front of a crowd of your family and friends. Your lifeless body lying in the glossy black casket behind her. A tear-stained, wrinkled piece of paper held in her trembling hands as she musters up the will to speak. She eyes looks from Bakugo’s guilt-ridden face to your parents’ tear-soaked ones, then to Izuku’s sad but encouraging face. With a nod and a shaky breath, Mei glances down at the tear-blurred words on the paper..
“Y-Y/N is-was.. sh-she was tr-truly the gre-greatest..”
Note ~ Also, please forgive that this is for the most part unedited, and I didn't run it through grammarly.. I love and appreciate every single one of you, and I'm sorry that I've been lacking lately. Just keep being amazing and bearing with me, Lovelies. <3