Bambibelle - Tumblr Posts

i need to know what #bambibelle means(this was in the og posts tags.

my initial assumption was that its another name for prongsfoot like bambi for james cos deer and belle for sirius cos beauty and the beast and sirius is a beauty but idk man.

Prongsfoot in the dormitory type of vibe

Hi! First, I just want to say that you are my favorite ao3 author <3 Can you do one where James starts getting suspicious of Sirius after he starts avoiding him. James thinks that it was because Sirius found out about his feelings and was uncomfortable about his pining but it turns out that he was hiding his injuries from his abusive parents? Hurt/comfort pls

((A/N: In line with the prompt, this mentions child abuse))

Sirius is avoiding him. It's obvious, and James kind of wants to grab his best mate and sit on him so he can't escape, but he has a sinking feeling that he knows why Sirius is avoiding him-- and that's much worse than being confused. A few weeks ago, he realised that he’s in love with Sirius. It's impossible to avoid thinking about, since they spend so much time together, and James? James doesn't do subtle. He didn't say anything to Sirius about his feelings, but it must’ve been obvious. He knows that he stares too much and gets lost in daydreams, and his expression doesn't hide anything.

He's in love with Sirius, and while he would like to date Sirius-- and marry him, but that might be even more terrifying for him to say aloud, if pining alone scared Sirius off-- he's not willing to sacrifice their friendship for it. He also knows that his feelings for Sirius aren't going to evaporate, so when Sirius starts to avoid him, James lets it happen. It'll give Sirius the space he wants, and-- he hopes-- the time to get used to the idea so that they can go back to being mates like nothing happened.

Except it doesn't happen.

Sirius isn't avoiding him completely, but it's far from being attached at the hip like they usually are. After three weeks of being bored out of his skull with all his time alone, James decides that enough is enough. He'll apologise for his feelings and let Sirius know that he doesn't expect anything from him, and then they can go back to normal. They've never had to deal with a weird patch like this, so he isn't sure that it'll go as smoothly as that, but why would things go worse? No point in thinking about it, he decides.

It's a night where there's no Quidditch practice and neither of them have detention, so James grabs the Marauders' Map and finds Sirius's stationary footprints just outside the castle walls, near the greenhouses. He is really hiding out to be over there-- they'd long since discovered that sound traveled too well by those buildings, and as such, don't hang out there.

James tucks the Map inside his robes, grabs the Invisibility Cloak, and leaves.

It is- well, it is weird for Sirius to be this upset about James fancying him, isn't it? His feelings should've made things awkward, not made Sirius run away for a few weeks just to avoid dealing with it. Maybe something else is going on with Sirius, and he just hadn't noticed because he was so sure the problem was his feelings. That would be- not better, really, but at least it wouldn't be James's fault.

James pulls off the Cloak as he gets close and folds it over his arm. "Enjoying the view?"

Sirius jumps in surprise, but he relaxes the instant he sees who it is. "Yeah, it's beautiful," he says, waving a hand half-heartedly at the view of the buildings surrounding them. 

"Better than the Black Lake." James sits down next to him, not thinking to keep his distance. Their arms bump together as he sits, and Sirius withdraws with a jerk. "Er."

Sirius looks down at the ground, as if ashamed of his reaction.

"Look, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" he repeats with a frown.

"I didn't think me fancying you would make you so uncomfortable, but- look, Padfoot, I gave you a few weeks like you wanted, but us not being friends anymore is ridiculous, don't you think?"

"You fancy me?"

"Yeah, isn't that what this is about?" James asks, gesturing vaguely at Sirius and the greenhouses.

Sirius looks up, meeting his eyes. The moon is nearly full, so there's enough light to see his expression-- he looks heartbroken. "No. Merlin, no, I had no idea."

That's a relief that can't be overstated, easing the pain that had been gripping James's chest ever since this started. But if it's not him that made Sirius keep his distance, then what is it? He casts his mind out for an answer, but nothing jumps out. "Then what's going on?"

Sirius continues to look at him, then slowly leans in. It's obvious what he's doing as he reaches for James and their faces line up, but he can't quite believe that it's happening until their lips meet. "I wish you'd told me sooner," he breathes, then kisses James again.

James feels like he's floating. Each kiss Sirius gives him feel like this can't be real because it's so good. How is this happening? Ten minutes ago, he'd been sure that this was impossible and now... Merlin, now Sirius is holding onto him like he wants him and it makes the last few weeks feel like they never happened.

Only, when they stop kissing and decide to head back to the dormitory, James realises that Sirius never explained his avoidance. The Map is open in front of them, easing the way to Gryffindor Tower. James is the one navigating, so when he stops walking, Sirius does the same. He looks over and asks, "Why were you avoiding me the past few weeks? I thought it was because I fancy you, but you said it's not." 

Sirius swallows and doesn't meet his eyes. He's never been good at lying to James, and now is no different. "It's nothing."

"It didn't feel like nothing. The only reason I let it happen is because I thought it was my fault, but it wasn't. So, spill."

Nothing.

James puts an arm around Sirius's shoulders, but it's not the casual way he usually does it-- it's to stop him from running away. He starts walking again and drags Sirius along with him. He's not exactly sure how to make Sirius answer him. Sirius doesn't keep things from him, so he never needed to learn how. It means that he doesn't know what to do to make Sirius tell him but they're still best friends; he knows him pretty damn well. And right now, Sirius is unreasonably tense, in a way he's not when James is the one touching him. Unbidden, his mind retrieves the memory of when a bludger had taken Sirius out during a game; there had been a firm tension to his body then, too... identical to the way he's holding himself now. James grits his teeth but doesn't let go. "Are you hurt?"

For a moment, Sirius winds himself even tighter, and it feels like he's going to shatter, but then he breathes out, loosening fraction by fraction. It doesn't leave him relaxed, but he no longer looks like he's going to snap in two. "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd freak out. It's not a big deal, it's just taking longer to heal than I thought."

James ignores the comment about him freaking out. "How'd you get hurt?"

"...It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, you said that. How'd you get hurt?" he repeats, even though he has the uneasy feeling that he already knows. After all, who else could it be? Anybody else, and Sirius would've been able to defend himself; anybody else, and James would've already hexed their bollocks off.

Sirius clenches his jaw and says nothing, but they share a look that says it all: his parents.

James loosens his hold around Sirius's shoulders; now that he's not going to run away, there's no point in holding on so tight. He licks his lips as he tries to think of how to phrase the offer. "D'you want me to take a look?"

"No," he says, recoiling with wide eyes.

"I'm decent at Healing, and you're pants at it. Maybe I can help a little."

Sirius doesn't immediately tell him 'no' again; James wants to think of it as a victory, but it probably means that he's hurt badly enough that he doesn't mind-- as much-- if James sees him like that. He hates to be vulnerable, James knows. There's further hesitation before he says, "Only if you promise not to... be all James about it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You get all... I dunno, panicky. I'm not going to Madame Pomfrey, and I don't want to hear you suggest it."

James knows he's going to regret this but, "I promise."

"And I want to snog when you're done worrying," he adds with a smirk.

James rolls his eyes, feigning an aloofness he doesn't feel. "You've a one track mind, don't you?"

"I'm prioritizing."

They banter back and forth as they walk to the dormitory, only quieting as they near the Fat Lady and don the Invisibility Cloak. James is as aware as ever about how close they are when they're both under it. As kids, they fit comfortably. Now that they've grown into themselves, it's less silly shuffling and learning to walk at the same time, and more James trying to control his body's natural reaction at being so close to Sirius.

The common room is empty, allowing them to pull off the Cloak. Sirius shoots him a knowing smirk, and he blushes. He doesn't want to, but he's caught out and there's no point in lying to Sirius, of all people. He can tell, as they trek up the stairs, that Sirius is hoping he'll lose focus. He wants for James to forget all about his injury-- injuries? he doesn't know and he's scared-- but it will take more than this to distract him. Even though it is a very... tempting distraction. Merlin, he needs to get his head on straight.

They're both lightfooted as they walk around the room, not wanting to wake their dormmates. They dress for bed, and Sirius joins James in his bed without question. James was a perfect gentleman when they were changing and didn't sneak a look at the injuries Sirius was hiding, but now the curtains are spelled to give them privacy, and Sirius is delaying taking off his shirt. He toys with the drawstring of his bottoms before heaving a sigh.

"Remember that you promised not to freak out," he mutters as he off his shirt.

For a moment, James worries that he'll be so busy checking him out that he won't be paying adequate attention to how hurt Sirius is. That worry vanishes the second his eyes take in the extent of the damage laid on Sirius's torso. 

With the reminder of his promise fresh in his mind, he holds back the rage that boils to life. He clenches his hands, fingers curled in so tightly they might stay that way. Magical injuries always look the worst. A bruise from banging into a door doesn't look the same as a bruise from a curse. Something about the tint of it makes it feel more sickly, and with the numerous ones on Sirius, highlighted by the occasional bandage, it's like a plague.

"Are-" James has to stop and clear his throat. When he tries again, he sounds much more in control. "Are those cuts?" he asks, gesturing to the bandages.

Sirius nods, jaw tight.

"I'll see what I can do for those. And I've got that extra-strength cream for bruises that we can use on the rest."

Sirius nods again and gingerly peels off the tape for one of his bandages so James can take a better look, then lays down and waits. He's tense but trying so hard not to be. It's obvious that he wants to cover up again, but he keeps his eyes safely out of the way and lets James work.

Reading about the different kinds of injuries was a lot more fun than seeing them right in front of him. Learning about it all sent a thrill through him-- the knowledge he had that others didn't, the power to heal what others couldn't. Seeing Sirius hurt just makes him want to hurl. There's no excitement to it. There's no comfort that he'll feel better at the end of this.

He touches Sirius carefully and warns before he casts any spell. He tries half a dozen, hoping for any noticeable change. His eyes strain from peering so closely, and he only calls it to an end when he feels himself tiring from all the magic in such a short time. He pulls off his glasses with a grimace and rubs at his eyes. "Sorry I couldn't do more."

"It's alright. I feel loads better," Sirius says, and it doesn't even sound like a lie.

James opens his eyes and looks at the slightly blurry figure with a flat expression. "You don't look any better now than when I started."

"I dunno if it looks any different, but it does feel better." He puts a hand on James's knee and strokes back and forth with his thumb. "Thanks."

James makes a vague noise of acknowledgment and lays down, facing him. He's close enough like this that his features are clear, even without the glasses.

Sirius turns so he's on his side, their faces scant inches apart. 

Given their conversation earlier, James half-expects for Sirius to kiss him. He can't believe he's thinking it, but he doesn't want him to. He doesn't want to be exhausted from magic and anger at Sirius's parents when they snog; it should be happy, like they are when they're together. 

"Promise you won't be angry about it in the morning?"

"If you think that's possible, then you don't know me," James replies with a smile, that Sirius reflects.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," he snickers. "I'll take a raincheck on that other promise. I still want to snog my new boyfriend." 

"But not now?" James checks. He doesn't want to right now either-- thinks it would be a bad idea if they did-- but he wants to be sure.

"Not now," Sirius confirms, looking soft around the edges. "Though..." He hesitates, then leans forward and gently presses their lips together. It's only for a few seconds, and it's clear this is the most they're going to do tonight; it's the most either of them want to do after that. He rolls over carefully, then scoots back so James can hold him. 

They've slept like this before, with James holding onto him like a stuffie. He hesitates because of Sirius's injuries, but that's taken care of a moment later when Sirius grabs his arm and pulls it over his waist, interlocking their fingers and hugging James's hand to his chest.