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Ouija Boards Don’t Have A Sense of Humor

This idea was a request by @leothunder21. If you have a story idea you’d like me to write, feel free to send it in here! ​

You originally scoffed at the idea of playing with the board with your friends, but after a few drinks and an open mind, you eventually gave into their pleas. You weren’t a believer in the supernatural, so you found it hard to believe that using a ouija board would end up with any fun result. To you, it was just a dumb parlor trick that was able to fool the lighthearted and those desperate for evidence of life after death.

When the game first started, the group began by asking for any spirits to make their presence known. After a few attempts, their questions were completely ignored and elicited no response. To try and join in on the fun, you called out “Spirit, make yourself known!” and chuckled. Out of nowhere, the planchette quickly slid across the board, pulling everyone along with it in a single swoop. Everyone else gasped and cried out in shock, but you were not convinced. Assuming that it was just a joke, you cockily declared “Well, what do you want then?” 

You and your friends meticulously watched the board as the planchette dashed across the board letter by letter. “B-O-D-Y” it spelled out, which made you chuckle at such a predictable answer then. Your friends were still sure that the board was real and begged you to leave it alone, but you wouldn’t give it up. “If it’s a body you want, come and take mine then. I’m not sure anyone would want a body like this though, even a ghost has standards...” you stated. And it was somewhat true, you weren’t the ugliest guy ever, but you certainly weren’t in the top 100 guys that someone would wish to look like. Overall, you were quite average and your clothing didn’t help your case, which only emphasized your lanky body and average demeanor. 

Apparently though, the spirit talking through the board was willing to take you up on the offer. Your face quickly drops from a cocky smile to a look of amazement as a billowing plume of smoke manifested out of the plastic viewfinder in the center of the planchette. Your friends gasped in shock, but both you and your friends could do nothing as the smoke darted towards you. It took only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity for you as the smoke shot down your nose and throat. You could only gag and choke on the smoke, but right as you felt yourself reaching the brink of asphyxiation, you suddenly drifted off into a state of slumber.

When you wake up, you find yourself laying on a dark black floor. Unsure what was going on, you frantically search around as you find yourself lost in a seemingly endless dark void. Upon a second inspection, your eyes suddenly recognize a form manifesting out of the void. Within several seconds, you watch as a hulking brute of a man materializes in front of you and gives you a devilish grin. “Well hello there” he said, his husky voice echoing within this darkness you now found yourself in. “Who are you? What do you want?” You respond, your tone pointed to tell the man you weren’t intimidated by him. “You know who I am, you invited me into your body” he chuckled, which made you begin to realize that this was some form of ghost. 

As a look of panic began to spread over your face, the man directed you to remain calm. He detailed his story about how he was an up-and-coming jock who was killed in a freak accident. For years now, he’d been searching for a host to help him have an opportunity at life once more, so he was ecstatic when you willingly offered up your body to him. When you asked him if he was going to take control of your body and leave you here, he chuckled and curtly stated that he had no desires to trap you deep within the trenches of your mind. Instead, the specter proposed a new deal that would be beneficial to the both of you. By accepting his deal, he stated that he would be able to help you become an irresistible man that would demand attention and respect. By merging your souls, you would be given the opportunity to be the assertive man you had always longed for. The spirit’s demands were fairly simple, where he would be allowed to have access to all of your senses and thus get to experience life once more (even if he was permanently in the passenger seat). He asked for the ability to mentally communicate with you when necessary, where he would only offer tips and tricks when it came to becoming a jock like he once was. 

You stood there, thinking about your possibilities. If you refused, there was always the possibility that the ghost’s demeanor would change and thus punish you for not agreeing to its terms. As you considered the deal, you realized that it wasn’t a completely terrible one. By letting this spirit take up a residence within you, you’d remain in control and become a buff jock like you always wished. On top of that, you’d be allowed to maintain your intelligence and personality to become a truly triple-threat with a killer body, a high IQ, and an approachable yet cocky personality. 

After a few more minutes of thinking it over, you looked at the spirit and placed your hand forward. “It’s a deal then”, you stated with a smile. The ghost returned the pleasantry and shook your hand and flashed a bright smile.

For moments, everything went dark, but things were happening while you remained unconscious. In the real world, your friends began to gasp as your body began to contort and twist in a gruesome fashion. Your body let out natural grunts and growls during the contortions, but that wasn’t all that was happening. Your arms tensed up as fists clenched, but to your friends’ surprise, your arms began to explode with muscle. With the visual resembling a balloon being blown up, your friends could only look in shock as biceps inflated into existence and forearms thickened to create two intimidating arms. The changes continued downward as your body continued to inflate with muscle. Your thin torso soon began to explode, with hefty pectorals manifesting within seconds and stretching your shirt to the absolute brink of ripping. One-by-one, abdominal muscles emerged and popped into place down your stomach. With these changes finishing on your torso, your stretched t-shirt ultimately lost the battle and ripped in several places.

With your torso now completed, the changes move a few inches south as it begins to localize around your dick. Even down to the equipment, you were incredibly average. This situation is soon remedied as your dick begins to lengthen several inches and gain a little bit of girth as well. The changes move to your backside, which is clear to your friends as they watch you slowly rise up on the bed. Your ass begins to inflate with a healthy mix of muscle and fat until you’re left with a brand new bubble butt.

The changes once again continue its downward movement, with your legs becoming the new focus. Your friends could only stare at your jean-covered legs, watching as the flesh underneath rippled and waved in a strange fashion. It didn’t take long before your thighs began to grow a musculature that would have only been possible after years of hard work in a gym. Finally, your calves also inflated as well to show that your new body was quite the runner. Much like your t-shirt, your jeans were ultimately no match for your wide thick thighs and ultimately caused the denim to shred. To finish up the physical changes, your body tenses up as your height quickly grows from a normal 5’8” to an intimidating 6’4”. In response, your jeans now look like a pair of capris and your t-shirt begins to ride up until it more closely resembled a midriff shirt.

Now that your body’s musculature had completely changed, a final wave of cosmetic changes began to spread across your body. Through the tattered shirt and ripped jeans, your friends watched as jet black tattoos began to manifest all across your body. Your nerdy friends gasped in response, immediately growing intimidated by just the sight of the fresh ink. As the changes begin to dwindle down, your hair starts to magically recede into your scalp until you’re left with a look of a freshly buzzed hair that only adds to your now permanent look of dominance. While the hair finishes disappearing from your scalp, facial hair also begins to push out of your pores. The wiry brown hair quickly grows out of your face until you’re left with a modest beard. To finish, a little bit of trimming occurs around your mouth with your mustache and goatee area.

Now that your changes are finished, it’s as if on cue when your eyes jolt open. As you return to consciousness, you grumble and groan due to how heavy you feel. “Gosh, that was such a weird dream…” you say, tilting your head in confusion as you hear the deeper voice coming out of your mouth. When you bring your hand up to your face to wipe your eyes and stretch your arms behind your head, your eyes go wide as you see the thick hands and tatted-up forearms and biceps you now had. Watching your biceps bulge through your ripped t-shirt, you grin as you realize that the ghost truly did follow through with his promise. “Thank you” you thought, hoping that the ghost was able to somehow hear your appreciation. You jump at first as you hear the spirit’s voice echo within your mind. “Thank you as well, I appreciate you doing this for me!” he says, a surprisingly cheery tone being noticed in his voice. 

Standing up, you stumble and attempt to remain upright as you attempt to get used to your new weight and center of gravity. You hadn’t expected such a change, but it was understandable given all of the muscles you had just been gifted. Your friends have become totally forgotten in your mind as you head into a bathroom to check yourself out. After flicking on the light and turning towards the mirror, you gasp at just the sight of your new body. Tired of seeing the tattered shirt, you grip the fabric and rip it completely off your body, revealing your inked and buff body. You shift in the mirror and take note of your beefy pecs and flex for your own satisfaction. As you feel your now-larger dick beginning to firm up at the sight of yourself, you decide that it’s best to go out and explore the town. No longer in the mood with playing childish games, you grab your oversized winter coat that now fits perfectly and head out into the night. With a body like this, you were eager to see what the world had to offer you now.

It had been almost a year now since the change and life had only gotten dramatically better for you since then. As it turns out, the spirit used to be a football player, so upon him bring up this fact, you asked him to share that knowledge. Your brain became overstimulated as years of experience flooded your mind. Various plays, tips on how to be the best player, and even experiences that the ghost had in his past life began to spring forth to the front of your mind. After returning to a normal state of consciousness, you decided that it would be a shame to waste this knowledge and ultimately tried out for the team. 

With this built body and his shared knowledge, you immediately made the team and eventually became the star player on the team. In less than a season, you turned a failing football team into a championship winning team. With your meteoric rise, the college bent to any whim of yours to keep you from leaving them. As a result, you were given a full ride scholarship and the full backing of the college as they vowed to help you go pro once you graduate. It was obvious why they would do that, given your meteoric rise and already growing social media following, the opportunity of you going pro would only positively represent and promote their college. The partnership with you and the ghost had turned out to be mutually beneficial for the both of you. Now, you both were looking to accomplish things that neither of you would have ever done solo... 

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