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Stay Alive
Stay Alive
Bookfreek1964
Part I
Jung Kook lays his head down on his hands that tightly clasp Suga's limp hand. The sobs well up from the deepest part of his being and wrack his entire body. He cries for Suga, who lies silently in the hospital bed with wires attached to his chest and oxygen in his nose. The monitors beep gently, keeping track of Suga's breathing and heart rate. If Jung Kook had not smelled the smoke and raced up to Suga's room and pulled Suga's limp body out of the burning chamber, he couldn't go there and think about that, or he would lose it completely.
They had quarreled just before. So Jung Kook tried to confront Suga about his excessive drinking. But unfortunately, Suga didn't want to talk; he was pretty, pissy drunk, and spoiling for a fight. So instead, Jung Kook expresses concern at the number of times Suga comes reeling in drunk off his ass. Suga lashes out and tells him to fuck off; it isn't any of his business.
"What's going on with you, Yoongi?" asks Jung Kook angrily, using Suga's real name.
"Nothing," Suga slurs back.
"Something is going on, or you wouldn't be like this, Yoongi," Jung Kook ducks an erratically thrown punch that just barely missed.
"Like what, hmm, like what?" Suga gets up in Jung Kook's face, close enough to kiss him if he wants to, and honestly, he wants to. He dreams at night of what it would be like to taste Jung Kook's lips.
"Coming in every night wasted. I'm your best friend, Yoongi, don't shut me out," frustrated, Jung Kook grabs Suga by the shoulders and raises his voice. Suga shoves him away.
"Is that all I am to you, Kookie?" Suga stills and looks up at Jung Kook; his dark eyes reflect the pain in his heart. "Is this all I am to you?"
"What are you asking, Yoongi," asks Jung Kook with a strange expression.
Suga closes his eyes in despair. So now I've gone and done it, Suga thinks to himself. "Nothing Kookie, nothing at all." Dejectedly, Suga tries to turn away.
Jung Kook grabs Suga's arm. "No, you can't say something like that and walk away from me without explaining what you mean."
Glaring at Jung Kook, Suga yanks his arm free from Jung Kook's grasp, stumbles over his feet, and almost goes down, but Jung Kook catches him and wraps his arms around Suga. Cursing, Suga tries to shove him away, but Jung Kook holds on tight and tries, once again, to talk to him.
"Talk to me, Yoongi!"
"Leave me the fuck alone!"
The struggle lasts for several minutes and ends with Suga slamming Jung Kook hard against the wall. Jung Kook drops his arms and lets him go. There is no reasoning with him right now; instead, he sadly watches Suga stumble up the stairs, bouncing off the wall as he goes. Jung Kook slides down the wall to the floor, tears streaming down his face and heart breaking. He helplessly wonders where it all went wrong. He wants to tell Suga how he feels about him, but he's afraid it might make things worse. It's hard keeping these feelings buried and pretending you don't feel something when you do.
Suga barely makes it up the stairs before he feels that telltale, feeling like he needs to vomit. In his haste, he catches the toe of his sneakers on the top step and falls on the hallway floor. He crawls into the bathroom on his hands and knees, making it to the toilet in the nick of time. Jung Kook hears the loud thump of Suga's body hitting the floor, and he bolts up the stairs. He runs into the bathroom as Suga begins retching and gagging. Finally, Suga empties his stomach into the toilet and moans in misery.
Jung Kook kneels and grabs Suga by the shoulders, "Are you okay? I heard you fall."
"Go away, Kookie. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much," says Suga in a broken whisper as he wavers back and forth, staring at Jung Kook blankly. Then, finally, he reaches up and cups Jung Kook's cheek in his hand. "I can't; I can't do this anymore." His eyes are full of tears as he stares at Jung Kook regretfully. I love you is right at the tip of his tongue; all he has to do is spit it out, but he can't.
"What, Yoongi? I don't understand. You have to tell me what's going on, so I can help you."
The room is whirling around so fast. Suga isn't sure where he is. "You don't understand, Kookie. You can't help me; no one can help me," Suga whispers. Suga falls forward into Jung Kook's arms and loses his grip on consciousness.
"Suga! Yoongi! Wake up! You're scaring me! Suga!" Jung Kook begins to panic. Suga mutters something indecipherable. Holding Suga in his arms, Jung Kook grabs a washcloth, wets it with cool water, and softly wipes Suga's face to wake him up. Jung Kook can't wake Suga up, so he gently lays him down on his side on the bathmat. Then, Jung Kook begins rifling his pockets to find his cell phone and comes up empty. I must have lost it downstairs during the struggle. Jung Kook runs down the stairs and begins searching for his cell phone. He finds it halfway under the piano. Luckily, the screen is still intact after the fall. Jung Kook next dials Suga's sister Kaia's number. No answer, Frantically, he dials it again and again until Kaia answers.
"Kookie?"
"Kaia! Can you come over? There's something wrong with Yoongi."
Kaia says, "I'll be there in 10."
"Please hurry, Kaia!"
Meanwhile, Suga returns to consciousness, unsure why he is lying on the bathroom floor, but he manages to crawl on his hands and knees across the hall to his bedroom. He almost passes out again. Finally, after a couple of tries, he sits on the edge of the bed, dropping his head into his hands before the tears begin to fall. His heart hurts so bad; why can't he tell Jung Kook how much he means to him? Suga is ashamed that Jung Kook sees him drunk like this almost every night. He knows that Jung Kook is worried about him and Suga treats him like an asshole. Suga, at this moment, feels like the world's biggest asshole. He wants to tell Jung Kook what is in his heart, but how? What will he do if Jung Kook rejects those feelings? He has loved Jung Kook for so long.
Fear of rejection makes him bottle up everything inside with no release from these feelings, so he deals with it by drinking himself stupid every night and silently loving Jung Kook from afar. Still, it is getting harder and harder to spend day after day with him and not tell him how much he loves him. He suspects his sister, Kaia, knows his secret. She has caught him staring longingly at Jung Kook more than once and has gone so far as to gesture that he needs to tell Jung Kook how he feels about him. Suga usually shakes his head negatively, and Kaia gives him an exasperated look like she would like to smack some sense into him.
Blearily, Suga rummages around on his nightstand for his pack of cigarettes and lighter, knocking almost everything off. Finally, he lights one up, lays back on his bed, and watches the ceiling spin in lazy circles. He takes another drag from the cigarette. His other hand gently caresses the empty pillow next to him, imagining Jung Kook lying beside him. Suga is so tired and heartsick; that he wants to sleep. His eyes slowly drift closed. The lit cigarette drops from his fingers onto the floor as Suga drifts away into happier dreams with Jung Kook beside him. Suga rolls to his side and gently cups Jungkook's cheek in his dream giving him butterfly kisses. He lets his fingers glide down Jung Kook's throat and flattens his hand to slide down Jung Kook's flat stomach. One finger traces Jung Kook's six-pack abs to the waistband of his jeans while Suga drinks deeply from Jung Kook's lips. The cigarette smokes on the rug and bursts into a small flame.
Jung Kook feverishly paces the hall, silently urging Kaia to hurry. Then, finally, he stops and sniffs – smoke! Fuck! Suga is up there! I should have never left him alone! He runs up the steps, and smoke clogs up the air. First, he checks the bathroom where he left him, but no Suga. Then, he throws open the door to Suga's bedroom. There are flames everywhere. Jung Kook spots Suga lying in the middle of his bed with fire racing across the ceiling above him.
"Suga! Yoongi! Oh my God! Jung Kook does his best to skirt the flames and tugs Suga off the bed before getting burned. Then, tears streaming down his face, he pulls Suga out into the hall and tries to pull the door shut to keep the fire confined to one room, but too late; it's already spreading out of the room. Coughing violently from the thick smoke, Jung Kook tugs Suga's limp body down the stairs as gently as possible when trying to outrace the fire. Unfortunately, the smoke is so thick it's hard to find the way to the front door. Jung Kook falls to his knees and almost loses consciousness himself. Kaia and firefighters appear out of the swirling smoke to help Jung Kook pull Suga out of the now fully engulfed house. Kaia, coughing herself, puts her arm around the coughing Jung Kook, and the firefighters pull the unconscious Suga out into the yard so the paramedics can attend to him.
"Suga!" Jung Kook crawls over to Suga and pulls him into his arms, rocking back and forth on his knees, sobbing wildly. "Yoongi-Hyung!" Suga lies limply in his arms.
Kaia kneels next to Jung Kook, coughing and doing her best to calm him down, motioning the paramedics back as she murmurs soothingly to Jung Kook. But locked into his grief, Jung Kook can only focus on the unconscious man in his arms.
"He's still breathing, Kookie," using their pet name for Jung Kook, "but you have to let them treat him."
"I want to stay with him," Jung Kook says, pulling Suga tightly against his chest.
"You can stay with him, Kookie, but calm down. You're not helping him this way."
Jung Kook takes several deep breaths to fight back his panic and starts coughing and gagging from the smoke. Finally, the paramedics can take Suga from Jung Kook and begin working on Suga and Jung Kook, giving both some oxygen to treat the smoke inhalation.
Part II
Soon enough, the police begin to pepper Jung Kook with questions about how the fire started. He can only shake his head blankly and tell them he doesn't know how it started. After that, he can only focus on Suga as the paramedics get him ready for transport. He fights his way over to the gurney as they put Suga in the ambulance. Kaia grabs his arm and pulls him back.
"We will follow the ambulance to the hospital."
Jung Kook is in freak-out mode as the ambulance pulls away.
"Kookie, my car is over here. Get in, and we will follow them."
Jung Kook is lost. Kaia has to put him in the car and buckle him in like a child. Jung Kook doesn't resist; at this point, he is in a cloud of guilt and anguish. I should have never left him alone, he keeps telling himself.
As she is driving, Kaia questions Jung Kook about what happened. When they reach the hospital, Jung Kook has told Kaia about Suga coming home drunk every night and their quarrel before the fire.
"Kaia, he said he couldn't do this anymore. I don't know what he meant by that; he wouldn't say," Jung Kook says bewilderedly.
Kaia gave him a long look. "Don't you know Kookie?"
"If I knew that, I wouldn't be asking you," rasps Jung Kook.
"You don't know Kookie about Yoongi's feelings for you?"
"Know what feelings, Kaia?" He fires back.
"He loves you, Kookie."
"He's my best friend…."
"No, Kookie, he is in love with you and has been for a long time. But, unfortunately, he doesn't know how to tell you, and he is afraid that you will not accept his love," Kaia gently says.
"What!?" Jung Kook's head snaps back as if someone punched him. Never once in a million years had Jung Kook ever considered that Suga might have feelings for him. Jung Kook himself keeps his feelings for Suga buried deep in the recesses of his heart for the same reasons.
"You feel the same about him," Kaia continues glancing over at him, "I have watched the both of you watching each other when you think no one is looking."
If the situation wasn't so serious, Kaia might have laughed at the shocked expression on Jung Kook's face. But instead, Kaia sighs inwardly, thinking that Suga and Jung Kook are utterly ridiculous. It is painfully apparent to everyone around them that they have deep feelings for each other beyond friendship or brotherhood, but they don't know how to tell each other how they feel. So instead, this near tragedy is the result.
Arriving at the hospital, Jung Kook is prepared to bolt inside to find Suga. However, Kaia grabs his arm before he can.
"Listen to me, Kookie, you need to find the restroom and wash your face and hands. You look terrible," wiping at some soot on his cheek, "You need to be calm and don't freak out, okay?"
Jung Kook nods absently; all he wants is to find Suga.
Part III
Kaia and Jung Kook wait for the doctor to give their report. Jung Kook can't sit and paces the room like a caged lion. Kaia watches Jung Kook with a worried frown as he restlessly walks, deep in thought. If they didn't hear something soon, she was afraid he would take matters into his own hands and find Suga himself. Finally, the ER doctor gives them a report and introduces himself as Dr. Jin. He gives them a brief description of Suga's condition and his treatment for smoke inhalation.
"Mr. Min is sleeping right now," the doctor says, "He woke up briefly, but Mr. Min was very distraught. We were able to calm him down, but he was concerned about Jung Kook" Dr. Jin looked curiously at Jung Kook, and he could feel his cheeks redden. His eyes are red from the smoke and puffy from his shed tears.
Kaia asks, "When may we go see him?"
"They are moving him upstairs right now, so it will be a little bit. We plan on keeping Mr. Min overnight for observation," Dr. Jin says. "He has a lot of alcohol in his system, so we need to watch him. The nurse will come and get you shortly."
Kaia thanks Dr. Jin, and Dr. Jin nods briefly and leaves the lounge. Kaia turns to Jung Kook, "Are you okay, Kookie?"
Jung Kook feels tears welling up in his eyes again and swallows hard, "Yeah, I guess."
Kaia hugs him. "Everything will be okay, Kookie, but you need to tell Yoongi how you feel; you both need to come clean about your feelings for each other. Everyone can see how you feel about each other, so it's no secret."
Jung Kook rests his head against Kaia's shoulder and lets the tears flow. He came close to losing his Yoongi, but now knowing that Suga reciprocates his feelings changes everything. So he whispers, "I will, Kaia, damn straight I will."
Finally, after about 20 minutes, they can see Suga, but he is fast asleep hooked to a heart monitor and oxygen. Jung Kook pulls the chair up next to the bed and takes Suga's limp hand in his own. Kaia murmurs to Suga, but he does not respond. She steps out of the room to talk with the nurse for a few minutes. Jung Kook, meanwhile, holds Suga's hand like it is a lifeline. Aloud he says, "I'm not leaving you, Yoongi, I'm right here beside you, and I will always be." He felt Suga's fingers twitch in response. Jung Kook smiles tiredly, puts his head down on their clasped hands, and exhaustion causes him to doze off.
Kaia comes back into the room and sees Jung Kook fast asleep, holding Suga's hand. She shakes her head and wonders if she should try to wake Jung Kook up and persuade him to go to her apartment to rest and clean up a little or let him be. Kaia suspects, however, that he will refuse to leave Suga's side, and it would be useless to argue with him about that, so she leaves him be. Kaia sits down in the other chair to wait a while and see if Suga will wake up soon. As the shadows deepen in the room, Kaia nods off to sleep. The nurse comes in every couple of hours to check Suga's vital signs so the night passes.
Part IV
The pink and orange light begins to lighten the room. Kaia shakes herself awake and yawns and stretches because spending the night in a chair is not very comfortable. She glances over at Suga to see if he is awake yet. Suga has rolled on his side toward Jung Kook. He has curled his body protectively around their clasped hands with his other hand resting on Jung Kook's head.
Kaia shakes her head and leans over to whisper in Suga's ear, "Yoongi, you need to tell Jung Kook how you feel. Do it, okay? I will go find some tea; I will be back in a little while."
Suga mumbles something indecipherable.
Jung Kook wakes up sobbing like his heart breaks a little while later. Jung Kook catches his breath. He feels someone stroking his head. He raises his head, and his tear-soaked eyes meet Suga's solemn dark brown eyes. They stare at each other for a long moment.
"Yoongi," Jung Kook whispers.
Suga smiles tremulously and strokes Jung Kook's cheek. He wipes away Jung Kook's tears with his thumb.
"How are you feeling?"
"I feel better, except for a headache," Suga whispered back.
"Yoongi, you almost died; I almost lost you," Jung Kook whispers.
Suga's eyes teared up at the agony in Jung Kook's voice. "Kookie…."
Jung Kook sighs, cups Suga's cheek, and looks right into Suga's eyes, "Yoongi, I have a confession to make…."
"What?"
"I don't know how to tell you this, but," Jung Kook takes a deep breath and huffs it out, "I have feelings for you. I have for a long time, but I didn't know how to tell you. I was afraid you would .…" Jung Kook said, looking down at their clasped hands.
"Kookie," Suga interrupted and tipped Jung Kook's head up so he could look into his eyes. "Kookie, I love you too. I didn't know how to tell you either. I spent all of this time fighting these feelings and burying them because I didn't think you could love me," Suga said with a tinge of sadness. "Instead of telling you how I felt, I tried to bury it with drinking and being an idiot."
Suga brushed his thumb over Jung Kook's lower lip.
Jung Kook lunges forward to press his lips against Suga's, and they share a long, sweet kiss.
"I meant it when I said I would be beside you always, Yoongi," said Jung Kook against Suga's lips.
"I know, Kookie. I'm not letting you go either."
Forehead to forehead, they smile at each other. Unbeknownst to Suga and Jung Kook, Kaia watches through the small window. She sighs in relief; they seem to have accepted and come to terms with their feelings for each other. Now we can move on.
The Lost Boy | TᴀᴇKᴏᴏᴋ Fᴀɴғɪᴄ - I Choose You.🌺//12 (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/860122227-the-lost-boy-t%E1%B4%80%E1%B4%87k%E1%B4%8F%E1%B4%8F%E1%B4%8B-f%E1%B4%80%C9%B4%D2%93%C9%AA%E1%B4%84-i-choose-you-%F0%9F%8C%BA-12?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=listenboixx&wp_originator=jq2oy35UUv5teUnAidd2WrNysRfaucAYLqfWqw55EjmZXh3kqB2J39O3cgD6ocMKFCFDSatnIJ7YUO1ak4qFvVFubQebuFnUoKwfHBj6uJOy59JgRBHn1Sb%2FBe8vB3Xr (COMPLETED) A boy who has been forced to leave his home is found by a family. A BTS fanfiction. Short Story.