Cry Out Loud - Tumblr Posts

oh gosh sorry but fck this 😭😭😭😭

in front of the river ⊹ ࣪. ｡༻

lee juyeon (the boyz) x gn!reader angst

they met in front of the river.

he stayed there forever.

⊱ ─────────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ───────── ⊰

wc: 1110

tw: uhhhh all my fics are kind of triggering, but i dont think this is as bad as the other two,, the only thing that could be considered triggering is the mention of a suicide, but there aren't any details about it.

he was sitting on your bench.

your. bench.

it wasn't yours, but it was yours. the place you visited whenever life didnt treat you well. the past few months had been really hard for you, every day you sank deeper into the anxiety that had been torturing you. so your visits to the bench in front of the river were getting more and more frequent. noone really sat there, which is pretty normal considering it was a single bench in the middle of nowhere in front of old houses and apartments.

so why was he there?

that's what you thought to yourself, staring at the man that was sitting on your bench.

"take a picture, it will last longer." his deep and raspy voice echoed between the not so well-maintained buildings.

"you're sitting on my bench." you replied, refusing to reply with sarcasm. you were too invested in your misery to have energy for that.

he didn't reply. he didn't even turn to look at who had been staring at him. you weighted your options and decided against letting him have his way. he was the intruder after all, that bench was your home in a way.

so you sat next to him, your eyes admiring the reflection of the moon and the stars on the water. "why are you here?" he asked you.

you turned your head to his direction, a confused look on your face. "i come here often." you answered, not wanting to start a conversation, just trying to take in as much of the landscape in front of you as possible. "i know. i've seen you. why do you come here so often?"

it was getting serious. you turned your whole body towards him, hugging your knees that were between you and the boy. "it feels safe. silent and isolated, a great place for bad days." you told him. "why are you here, though?"

"i'm always here." he replied, lifting his arm and pointing at a rooftop with his finger. "i go there on bad days. and i can see you coming here and sitting for hours on this bench with your headphones on and a coke zero next to you. it felt kind of comforting to have someone around that seems like they are on the same page as me. so i decided to come here and wait for you. ask you what's wrong."

your painted with confusion face softened up, after hearing the boy talk. he had a really beautiful voice. "i'm juyeon." he murmured.

"y/n." you whispered back.

"can you take me there?" you continued, your eyes on his. he stood up, taking your hand in his and intertwining his fingers with yours. it didn't feel weird. it made you feel,, safe?

you followed him, your jacket and coke on your other hand. you noticed there were no stairs to actually get on the rooftop and paused. "wait, how do we get there?". "just trust me." the boy you now knew was named juyeon told you.

he unlocked the door of the building and showed you the stairs, chuckling at your weirded out face. "hey don't judge me, i'm not the person who decided to hide the key under the doormat!". he said, while placing the key where he found it.

you laughed at his words. his hand made its way to your mouth in seconds, "shhhh, what if they hear us?". you nodded and he removed his hand from your face. he ran to the stairs, dragging you with him and suddenly you found yourself on the rooftop.

the black haired boy walked to the other side of the rooftop, jumping above the short walls that separated the buildings. he helped you get over them and the two of you found the perfect spot on the next building's rooftop. he took of his jacket and put it on the concrete, patting it for you to sit on.

"put yours on, it's going to get cold soon." he whispered and looked at the river, avoiding eye contact with you. you smiled at how thoughtful he seemed, even though he was practically a stranger. you did as told, sitting on the jacket that was carefully placed on the floor with your back resting on a concrete cube that was probably someone's attic.

juyeon turned around and sat next to you, his eyes never meeting yours. "it's beautiful." you said, your voice so low that it almost seemed broken. a couple of tears ran down your cheek, your tiny whine audible in the complete silence for the the boy next to you to hear it.

juyeon looked at the tears escaping your eyes, his hands going on your face to dry them before he realised it. you looked at him completely taken aback, melting into the boy's touch, as you felt his hands cupping your face and his attention being fully on your tears. now it was your turn to look into his eyes, trying to read his soul. unconsciously you leaned in, until your lips were on his. he didn't pull back, giving in the subtle movement of your lips.

the kiss was slow and passionate. something about kissing the black haired boy on a rooftop under the stars made you feel less dead inside.

the kiss was followed by subtle touches, both of you exploring each other's bodies under the dim light of the moon.

you don't remember how you fell asleep, but you woke up just when the sun was noticeable but not enough to indicate it's the next day. juyeon wasn't there, but his jacket was. you got up and looked around, not seeing any trace of him around.

a sudden feeling of sadness took over your body. you removed your own jacket and put on his black one, leaving yours on that spot. maybe him finding it would give him a reason to come meet you again and take his back.

you never saw juyeon again. it was like he stole your firsts and left you, but it didn't really feel like he left you. even though you knew him for a day -or like,, a night- it felt like you knew him for years.

you still visited your bench quite often, since life hadn't gotten any better. sometimes you even went on his rooftop, always getting a very deep feeling in your whole body that you couldn't explain.

as you were walking down the one-way street to reach your bench a couple days later, you caught a sentence of the radio show playing in a car that was waiting for the traffic light to turn green.

"the black haired boy that was found dead in the river remains unident–"